/brit/

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cara

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The much beloved Madmenfu

AAAAAAAAAAAAJ

>>73320913
This 2bh

*farts into my hand*
*throws it at you*

thinking about watching stranger things despite knowing almost nothing about it other than that winona ryder's in it

>>73320961
do you usually read up everything before watching something instead of just watching the pilot?

copped a pair of $80 jeans for $30

y'all niggas be jelly

Thoughts on the digital switchover?

>>73320954
VERY good image

>>73320996
can i borrow your time machine to 1998?

I think multiculturalism is, in a long run, good

1234 high5.. 5 in the air lets do it together

>>73320961
It's decent tb h, very comfy.

Also very normie, extremely character driven narrative.

>>73321018
Indeed. So long as they stay within their countries 2bh

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>I think multiculturalism is, in a long run, good

Going to have to ask for an extension for all of my uni work because of depression and anxiety attacks hahahahahaha

>>73320996
That think that happened years ago?

It was aight

>>73321061
>muh depression

Absolute fucking sad case

>>73321061
If you can go to a tutor and ask for special treatment, I guess you're not that anxious after all

>>73321061
i hear they're giving out free anal beads with those as well you fucking bender

>>73320979
i do this. sometimes i do it while im still watching it, movies especially
dont like twists
i have a habit of reading the last chapter of a book first as well

>>73321061
>Going to have to ask for an extension for all of my uni work because of depression and anxiety attacks hahahahahaha

Bit gutless 2bh

Unless you're studying something gay like art or theatre then by all means

Ah yes, the "anyone who opposes me is from reddit" argument

Very good.

>>73321055
character driven narratives are what shit writers who can't come up with good stories write

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>Ah yes, the "anyone who opposes me is from reddit" argument

>Very good.

Sperm whores

In some parts of the internet "Reddit" is a positive term.

"That post is Reddit" would be a compliment on certain websites.

>>73321121
Yeah, thats why I only said it's decent. The story is pretty awful but the music and aesthetics are super comfy.

i only had it on in the background while I worked all night tb h, I don't think I could have properly watched it.

ah, yes, i am from reddit
how did you know?

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Sheep shaggers

>>73321146
There's nothing wrong with reddit. I like the autistic architecture of the comment section.

Anyone else waiting with baited breath for the other shoe to drop re: recent events and Canada?

I feel like the tides of the world could awaken the sleeping beast known as the Canadian military and there WILL be hell to pay. Is the US ready to weather the storm? Is Russia? China?

Do you really think Drumpf could sit down at a table and look Trudeau in the eye man to man and not bend to his will?

All hypothetical of course, but if any of this bullshit starts affecting Canada's wallet we could see the only true superpower on earth come to bear.

>>73321146
even redditors recognise the site is a godawful ultra-satisfied PC cesspool

>>73321061
>depression and anxiety

Fucking hate whiny cunts like you going to the doctors and taking up his time when people like me with genuine 'chosis have to wait to get help.

Man up you pathetic runt, mood disorders are for women.

Redditor here AMA (Ask Me Anything)

>>73321190
Are you jealous that I got 25k upboats

>>73321202
I got more simply from /brit/ posts

unironically have periodic flashbacks to my past life, i was a girl btw

>>73320936
pour my coffee asian chicANO

>>73321061
just do your work and hate yourself like the rest of us smfh

>>73321114
reddit

>there are arrogant students ITT
FUCK OFF

/brit/ more like /'ddit/ lmao

>>73321271
quizzical post

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>In summer 1941 the British appealed to Americans to conserve food to provide more to go to Britons fighting in World War II

not only did you bongs want money you wanted our burgers

anyone remember that one yank bloke who lived alone in the woods stealing peoples food for 27 years and got busted?

wonder what hes up to these days

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new intern at the office is REALLY fit fuuck

>>73321190
This place is full of australasians.

>>73321246
You mean you have homosexual fantasies

>>73321315
no i don't

>>73321311
not a question

>>73321292
>not helping the victims of a tyrannical dictator and warmonger

Not very Christian of you

>>73321306
>she

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>>73321301
HE'S PROBABLY GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS

>>73321333
had a hearty chuckle at this

well done

>reddit
>"red"dit
>commie
wow
i think i found soemthing great

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>>73321331
Christian?

>>73321332
ye?

>>73321328
Okay I have a question. If my penis is small why is there a big sausage in my pants every morning. Are women just jealous that I can have an erection and they not?

can't wait for /brit/ to ruin
>>73333333

>greentext
alri reddit

bacon butty with hp sauce lads

might just stop shaving and see what happens

haven't seen Koreaboo in a long time

>>73321379
>hp sauce

Top bloke

>>73321400
tried that

ended up looking like a caveman

do you shave your arsehair

>>73321364
Not only is that beyond my means of expertise it is simply uncalled for my good gentlesir.
*downvotes you*
*calls the janitorial staff*

only for you

>>73321345
>commies
>great

Alri Kim

worcestershire sauce on steak is GOAT

>>73321425
worst move you can ever make

the itch when it starts growing back will drive you insane

>>73321424
yeah but i have shit facial hair genetics, can't grow anything on my cheeks

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>>73321432

fucking HOWLING at the news from Sweden

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bit of hp is good on eggs and toast

>>73321465
rasheed

I can't go outside because I don't have a fat cock.

>>73321425
Only when things get a bit too jungle-y and dingleberry-y

>>73321439
Cant say i ever had that problem 2bh. Maybe it could be a bit less sweaty but that's it

>>73321465
first Islamic terrorist attack with casualties

t. swede

>>73321435
>any sauce on steak
bloody disgusting

Because I live in a penis hating world.

>>73321487
i hate heinz ketchup

masterfoods and fountain are the only good brands

>>73321498
fuck off poor taste runt

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>>>/x/18847791
>'et

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Try to find every CIA and Bane.

I live in a matriarchy. Because women have apparently many power on a man's penis size.

>>73321400
My facial hair is awful, I have thick sidies and chin hair but like a gap on my cheeks and a thin pencil mustache. Shame, would love a proper thick beard.

>>73321487
hp is the most disgusting """"""""""""sauce"""""""""""' i've ever tasted

>>73321542
yeah pretty much same here, hoping it will fill in eventually

The only real solution is to become a woman. Because then you won't be oppressed because of your penis size.

>ketchup
FOY

i think the dutch guy is insecure about his penis size

>>73321570
Yes I am.

>>73321434
at least "the labour party" is great

>>73321569
the word with less syllables is always the better option

Mates legitimately think that Assad dropped the chemical weapons

Fucking state of their pineal glands

Women are disgusting animals.

>>73321549
Woman/Rasheed

curry ketchup > POWER GAP > ketchup > POWER GAP > hp

>>73321593
who says chemical weapons are against the rules anyway? some swiss twat who probably hard a heart attack from eating too much chocolate 70 years ago or whatever?

>>73321593
>the "it didn't happen because it doesn't follow my narrative" meme

Now I'm going to get my coffee.

>>73321593
who dropped them then mr jones

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Any big guys here?

>>73321618
Good post

>>73321448
i look the damn yeti as it is without a beard

everyday struggle

Britain is on verge of a civil war, soon the Brexitmongs and radical centrists shall engage in battle.

>>73321635
Rebels

>>73321593
what happened to their pineal glands?

>>73321618
Do Australians pronounce twat as "twot" or rhyming with "rat"?

>>73321677
rat

>>73321677
the latter but i have heard it pronounced the yank way, which makes my ears bleed

>>73321677
tw@

*smiles at you*

my favourite mission i grand theft auto 4 is the one where you go to the job interview and kill the lawyer

but why the fuck would niko give them his real name on his fake resume?

>>73321686
>>73321692
It's half split here. My Dad says "twot" my Mum says tw@. But it's not a word that's commonly used here.

>>73321718
next time you see your dad, hit him with a tennis racquet

>>73321677
my mum pronounces it the yank way

'Con'n'gg sarnie this morn' lads.

hungry but cba getting out of bed

gay but cba looking for cock

>4 minutes since last post
brit is officially dead

horny but cba having a wank

alive but cbf breathing

depressed but cba hanging myself

>>73321618
WOKE

just me making a post having a go

so
do you like.... stuff?

Joke: assad gassed children
Broke: assad did nothing wrong
Woke: both of the above are true

Why are men not allowed to have a small penis?

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>>73321913

>>73321927
same reason women aren't allowed to be ugly

>>73321944
And why are women not allowed to be ugly?

>>73321930
me dropping my morning coffee

haha x

ironically listening to taylor swift

>>73321965
don't feel like responding, ask someone else

>>73321970
Bruce likes this post
Bruce tagged you in a comment

>>73321965
boring question zzz I'm going to bed

>>73321965
caralad?

might grow a charles bronson 'stache but with a goatee as well

>>73321998
Asks Bruce in a private chat why he hasn't liked my profile picture yet

>>73321987
Because nobody really knows why men are not allowed to have a small penis. We just turn off our brains when think someone has a small penis and start yelling.

desu not sure if i want a gf anymore, quite comfortable watching anime all night x

just googled average length of an australian's erect penis

it was 15.8 cm

>>73321712
*wiggles eyebrows*
*gives you a roguish wink*

>>73322030
apparently women don't get as much pleasure from having sex with lesser-endowed men, but who cares what women think

>>73322020
You have been blocked

'staches look fucking atrocious

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hate the poster not the frog

>>73322043
Well my penis is 17cm. But I'm a major grower.
>>73322055
Well I do. Apparently.

think koreaboo has a crush on bruce right now

>>73322081
pics

wouldn't mind giving a small asian twink the ol' inout tbqf

>>73322095
Hahaha

>>73322102
bit gay

if you have a small penis you can just fuck petite women

or kids, if you're thailad

*Reads The Protocols of Zion*
*disappears under """""mysterious circumstances"""""*

It was the jews lads

had a bottle of gin last night on my own lads. wonder what degenerate stuff i was posting to /brit/

>>73322007
no

any perthman in?

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>>73322119

>>73322134
huh, why didn't I think of that

Any Fife niggas in da house???

>>73322146
I usually end up making obnoxious vocaroos of people's posts

just googled average length of an american's erect penis

it was 15.4 cm

>>73322157
hows it going liam

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>white people can't make music

umm then sweaty what's this? :) x

jealousy is a disease, get well soon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLHMxFGqhIs

>>73322188
wahey
*waves my statistically 15.8cm penis in a yank's face*

i'm sorry but /brit/ is a normie general

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Looks like we're going to war, boys.

Should be a piece of cake. Russia's a banana republic, and Syria is just barbarians with guns. The Canadian military will have this sorted by tea time.

>>73322199
alri, you?

thoroughly embarrassed myself on facebook when i went on a months long drinking binge

sent all kinds of wacky stuff to former crushes and teachers

>>73322218
good post

autistic, "depressed" little virgins need to fuck off

>>73322222
didnt kill myself as planned, you going to call in on thailad's next stream?

>>73322221
does canada even have any auxiliary stuff whatsoever

>>73322157
where do you get your confidence

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-39536136

never even fucking heard of them

is it really that hard to get a woman to orgasm or are some men just very selflish?
surely fingering and oral along with some directions from her can get the job done eventually?
just mental when i read of women going an entire relationship without orgasm

>>73322222
Nice digits but those quints could have gone to a needy British poster

I gotta go over the Berlin Wall
I don't understand it Berlin Wall
I gotta go over the wall the Berlin Wall
I gotta go over the Berlin Wall
I gotta go over the wall the Berlin Wall

can't wait for big daddy trump to wipe putin off the map

>>73322247
says more about you than it does about the spanish/french IRA

>>73322247
That's because you're ignorant

>>73322241
If it weren't for Canada, you would be speaking German right now.

That's all you need to know about our military.

>>73322247
wimps lol
the IRA never gave up their weapons

anyone else chewing mastic?

>>73322273
trump was assassinated weeks ago

>>73322230
that's good. yeah if I'm about, why not

>>73322252
it's not really hard at all and i suspect the women speaking about not orgasming at all during their LTRs are just taking jabs at their ex

Texted my only """friend""" in this city after work on Friday to see if he wanted to do anything this weekend. Still hasn't replied. Ahh yes, looks like it'll be another weekend of me walking around museums and art galleries alone (5th weekend like that in a row desu)

>>73322287
ich spreche deutsch sooooo

>>73322314
this nerd lol

>>73322204
Moved me to tears m8

>>73322299
When your main weapon is targeting schools with fertiliser bombs, you never have to give them up

Flying off on holiday in a couple of days lads.

Who knows I might be bantering under a different flag

>>73322312
i highly doubt that on mostly anonymous forums and no specific mention of their ex

if a girl farts or poos near me i will be automatically unattracted to them forever

some runtoid keeps texting me thinking I'm his friend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a87SkHd77Rs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Fs43UgU3Eg

Yanks are a different species

>>73322247

you were probably born in 97

go back to your colouring book child

>>73322384
why would a girl be pooing near you

this is a public service announcement
this is only a test

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>tfw missed RNH hours and real aussie posting hours

>>73322390
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfqSjPSXfM0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSvAlGtL_wI&t=0s

>>73322390

fat people have NO excuse

>>73322399
dont respect anyone born before 1995 desu

fucking gen y scum

>>73322406
emergency evacuation protest

doodle is very itchy rn

>>73322447
pics

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This toddler has more life experience hinder his belt than you will by the time you're 50.

>>73322381
people lie all the time especially women and more often than not it's lies meant to make themselves feel better rather than to obfuscate the truth

i'm sure there are women who have been with men who are subpar in bed but i wager most women who enter into LTRs are having good sex because sex is a very important part of a relationship

as the old saying goes when sex is good it's 10% of the relationship when it's bad it's 90% of the relationship meaning it garners much more focus

Just had my first poo of 2017

don't think I'm ever going to figure it out

my very earliest memory is from 1997, it was when i nearly drowned, felt warm and comfy, i was probably being reincarnated into a womb

some kid probably came out stillborn because i survived

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>people lie all the time especially women

>>73322473
redditspaced post for a reddit opinion

>>73322521

mine is having surgery in 1990

out for a ride haha
http://i.4cdn.org/n/1491534682496.jpg
http://i.4cdn.org/n/1491534682496.jpg

>>73322472
hey, smoking stunts your growth

Don't understand why most types of war are alright but the MOMENT you just use a few chemical weapons, you've crossed some sort of line. Can anyone explain?

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Ah yes, pol.

>>73322252
>>73322381
its hard for some girls, easier for some girls

>>73322551
willy removal lol?

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>>73322521

sounds like a transpersonal experience there lad

recommend you read some stanislav grof books

>>73322439
MAY IMPAIR YOUR ABILITY TO OPERATE MACHINERY

>>73322564
>get carried by wind and can affect heaps of people you didn't mean to target
>cause a lot of suffering
>the area is still dangerous for weeks afterwards

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I remember being born.

Let's just say, it was a thoroughly unpleasant experience.

>>73322571
SHUT IT DOWN!

>>73322581

just my foreskin

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>>73322564
you can't really control it

>>73322587
>read books

m8 i'm a fucking millennial i have adhd

>>73322597
Ahh yes, because drone strikes never accidentally hit civilians and certainly don't cause any suffering whatsoever

>>73322564
It's mostly arbitrary shite that spineless nonces follow and insist that everyone else follow because it's the trendy thing to do

>>73322614
lmao

might have a so-called flutter on the grand national

>>73322521
one of mine is getting an erection from looking at a magazine and complaining to mum that it won't go down

>>73322602

birth is beyond terrifying for the baby
there are theories that a difficult birth leaves subconscious emotional scars for life

>>73322630
used to have problems with my willy as a kid, i liked to run around naked with a leaf taped over my willy but it kept getting hard and knocking the leaf out of place, didn't even know what a boner was until i was about 9

>>73322564
the geneva convention is about making sure that legitimate war is armed combat between uniformed nations using conventional weapons, and that means no poisons or toxins. just explosives and munitions

>>73322618

ADHD isn't real just stop getting distracted lmao

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I want you to have a nice day

>>73322661
Hmmm

>>73322629
don't recall asking you mate

>>73322564
chemical weapons aren't even effective. Thats the main reason they aren't used, not because of some sense of universal soldiers honour or something

>>73322683
thanks you too

Didn't wank until I was almost 15

>>73322521
One of mine was my first christmas. It also happened to be snowing

>>73322683
they voted leave get out

>>73322702
they're useful is specific situations and less harmful versions like tear gas get deployed all the time

>>73322683
China is a better country than Indonesia

>>73322712
been sort of wanking since i was like 6
used to hump my bed thinking about sucking on boobs until i had an orgasm like sensation that made me sleepy

>>73322702
>you're only allowed to kill people HUMANELY

Hmm.......

*gets out the daily check list*
*ticks next to the "First Wank of the day:" box*

>>73322763
well thats what the Geneva convention is for

>>73322712
ah, you never got to experience the golden age of wanks from 11-13 when you can have an orgasm but not have to clean anything up

Honestly if every person in this thread went past me one by one drowning in a river I wouldn't bother saving a single one. In fact I might be very slightly happy about it since you'd no longer be consuming electricity and adding to global warming.

>>73322766
whats next

>>73322766
do enjoy the saturday morning wank I must say

>>73322775
i started cumming at 11
thought i was pissing myself at first

*breaks the geneva convention*

>>73322774
Only words on a bit of paper intended to handicap honest folk lad

>>73322626
>>73322702
Hello disgusting honourless slugs, kindly fuck off

Prague is nice lads

>>73322811
You don't know what honour is lad

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ah yes jungian archetypes

>>73322775
I remember my first wank the cum was golden. not quite golden but it had a yellowish tint

just deleted all my porn

immediately regretting it, regretted it before i even did it

>>73322846
why do you download porn lol

*gets blown to pieces by a tomahawk missile*

ah well, at least i didn't suffocate from sarin, mine is a noble death

>>73322846
Deleted my entire porn collection several times over the years. Most of it was complete shit but there's a couple of gems that I'll never ever see again because I flipped and deleted it.

>>73322846
Haven't saved a porn on my pc in a long time lad. It just makes the moments with the ones I do come across much more precious

FUCK ethics and FUCK casualties of war because I'm a hard lad from /brit/ who's seen it all. What a pathetic bunch.

>>73322729
>>73322763
honestly the barrel bombs they drop do more damage than any chemical weapons

>>73322774
as if they're following that. I reckon they execute most prisoners

>>73322855
in case there's a nuclear war or zombie apocalypse and the internet goes down

also, sometimes clips on pornhub or wherever get deleted

>>73322855
>he doesn't wank to ultra-rare porn that can only be had through downloading from chinese blogspots
also no stream sites have 4k 60fps porn

My first wank was at 9 years old.

I was laying belly-down on the shag carpet floor of our living room, and we were watching an early 2000s Eddie Murphy movie.

There was this fine gold-digging slut Eddie Murphy's character was being seduced by throughout the movie, and I just sort of rubbed my crotch on the carpet naively every time she appeared on screen.

I don't think my family realised what I was doing.

I don't think I orgasmed, but my dick was sore by the end of the movie.

two girls sent me a first message on the old 'der last night lads

>>73322892
think you need to reassess your life

Like all very pretty young girls she was basically only good for fucking, and it would have been stupid to employ her for anything else, to see her as anything other than a luxury animal, pampered and spoiled, protected from all cares as from any difficult or painful task so as to be better able to devote herself to her exclusively sexual service.

>>73322843
Holy shit lad so did I

>>73322904
>wanking to black people

m8 that's tantamount to bestiality

>>73322906
Get Bumble and they all have to send you the first message

>>73322925
What did you expect from a fucking leaf

REALLY need a wank now lads

*reaches for the Eddie Murphy DVD collection*

listening to that song from mad men

first spaffed at 14 i reckon
bit late to the party aha

Most of you lads talking shit about using chemical weapons would piss and poo your pants at the mere prospect of being in Syria.

>>73322904
was it coming to america?

if so, that came out in the 80s i think

>>73322936
>get the app less people know about and discourages women from signing up
hmm

Never go for the ol 'cide lads x

>>73322963
i went there on holiday in 2008, seemed like a nice westernised place

bloody muzzies always have to fuck things up

>>73322925
I was 9 and I didn't even know what I was doing.

Actually, most of the stuff I wanked to as a young teen I don't consider sexy anymore.

I'm not usually into black chicks, but I'm not an autist who refuses to acknowledge when a black chick makes my dick diamonds.

>>73322994
zero fanny detected

>>73322967
im pretty sure there was a woman trying to seduce the nutty professor
and then a little version of him came out and starting sucking on some big chebs

first wank was to some generic jav pornstar non nude in a one piece swimsuit. I guess that's what explains why I have yellow fever today

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>>73322963
*thinks about taking a tomahawk missle straight to the sack*
ah yes, very... scary

>>73323014
dont remember any gold diggers in the nutty professor

I'm an Alabama Nigger and I wanna be free

first wank was to some jarg late night show like sexcetra or eurotrash

>>73322979
Depends where you are desu. I'm in London so there's shitloads of people using Bumble, and most of them are far more middle-class than the runts who use Tinder so it's a win-win. Can see why it would be an issue in smaller communities though.

anyone know any post-2010 simpsons episodes that are good?

i quite enjoyed the one where homer buys that beehive smoker

>>73323035
hell with the naacp

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who /6'1manlet/ here?

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So this....Is the power....Of whiteface

>>73323024
A tomahawk to the tomacock is never a good thing

>>73323014
>>73323031
i got the last part sort of right
he didn't suck on them but hugged them
https://youtu.be/bxgZWv4Db5I?t=150

that and the scene from me, myself & irene i found very hot

>>73322781
shower which i just had.

getting my haircut later, going on a tanning bed after i overheard a colleague gossiping how pale i was, then going to play World of Tanks for a bit.

>>73323065
what's post-2010?
i enjoyed plenty of teen season episodes but i don't remember years

>>73323104
you're a dubious character

>>73323113
season 21 i think

Tomahawk....
Apache...
Blackhawk..
What are they playing at lads?

>>73323104

enjoy skin cancer you insecure rodent

>>73323129
then no i think that's when it turned into a new celebrity cameo every episode

Does anyone else remember the Easter meme?

new thread?

>>73323202
janny's got his hand over his holster as we speak

new
>>73321833
>>73321833
>>73321833
>>73321833

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>>73323231

>>73323146
M dubs 2

looks live ive been yank'd

real nu
>>73323246
>>73323246

>>73323231
PERFIDIOUS /balt/

>>73323104
>World of Tanks
>not warthundre