/brit/

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cara

*stirs last nights haggis*

no cara no nonces no nonsense

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wooooooooooorrrrrrrkk.... WOOOOOOOOORK wooooooork WOOOOOOOOOOORK in the morniiiiiinnnnnnggggggggggg..................

hhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........

*makes regurgitating sounds*

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'nime

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work tomorrow

>>72513531
Screeching

Please post the screencap

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>He has work in the morning
>He doesn't work in the evening

>>72513523
post cara with flesh exposed:p

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*anime deflectors activate*

>>72513555
sound more grateful!!!!

>>72513577
r stacey

>>72513555
>>72513573
FUCK OFF
LET MY HAVE MY ""FUN""

>>72513523
Looks like Justin Beiber

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work in approx 9 hours and 30 minutes

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>>72513575
>mfw off tomorrow completely
Always book a lot of friday/mondays off plus a week in summer.

How often do people that don't eat brush their teeth?

>>72513575
>he works

SCREECHING

>>72513575
>being a wageslave
>not a salarycuck

>>72513575
Used to.

>tfw no matter what shift I work, so long as it's regular I'll end up giving myself 5 hours sleep a night

I've aged like 15 years since I started working (6 years ago)

The worst part is wondering how you’ll find the strength tomorrow to go on doing what you did today and have been doing for much too long, where you’ll find the strength for all that stupid running around, those projects that come to nothing, those attempts to escape from crushing necessity, which always founder and serve only to convince you one more time that destiny is implacable, that every night will find you down and out, crushed by the dread of more and more sordid and insecure tomorrows. And maybe it’s treacherous old age coming on, threatening the worst. Not much music left inside us for life to dance to. Our youth has gone to the ends of the earth to die in the silence of the truth. And where, I ask you, can a man escape to, when he hasn’t enough madness left inside him? The truth is an endless death agony. The truth is death. You have to choose: death or lies. I’ve never been able to kill myself.

>>72513624
I have Tuesday and Wednesday and Saturday off this week. Thursday is voluntary work day.

watching some asmr
its a good substitute for meaningful relationships

>>72513577
Watching the doc right now and it's quite good

Don't know how any of the anime nonces can defend this

>>72513638
>Working hours that you get no extra pay for
Howling

>>72513631
I eat about once a day and brush my teeth maybe once every other day

>>72513655
rock bottom lad

The next great war between European powers will be in 2067

screencap this

>>72513631
I eat once a day and Brush my teeth 3 times a day because I have an autistic obsession with dental hygiene.

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are stace will make brit pure again

>>72513655
>>72513675
What is ASMR?

Have to wake up at six tomorrow, for the ol' wageslavery, lads.

Well, I'm not going to be coerced into sleeping early. I'm defiantly staying awake to show my employer who is the REAL boss here.

>one week of worth and then 3 week holiday
hehe

An unfamiliar city is a fine thing. That's the time and place when you can suppose that all the people you meet are nice. It's dream time.

>>72513716
>one week of worth and then 9 days holiday

not as good

>>72513712
>tomorrow

I think you mean today lad hahahaha

>>72513698
>13698>>72513655(You)
Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) is an experience characterized by a static-like or tingling sensation on the skin that typically begins on the scalp and moves down the back of the neck and upper spine. It has been compared with auditory-tactile synesthesia.[1][2] Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) signifies the subjective experience of 'low-grade euphoria' characterized by 'a combination of positive feelings, and a distinct static-like tingling sensation on the skin'. It is most commonly triggered by specific acoustic, visual and digital media stimuli, and less commonly by intentional attentional control.[3][4]

>>72513733
work*

I copy pasted yours and didn't proof read

>match up with various girls

>ask what kind of degree she's doing
>stops responding

>ask if she wants to go out for drinks
>stops responding

>ask what she's writing
>stops responding

>send some kind of gimmick/whimsy message
>stops responding

>ask about a book/movie/show I see we're both a fan of
>stops responding

Doesn't even matter who I talk to or what I send them at this stage, I think I'd get the same feedback from wingdings. Is there some kind of secret code of which I'm ignorant?

>>72513751
So if I use this it ill make me feel as if I had a gf?

>>72513712
good lad for using defiantly correctly.

>>72513716
>one week of work then two days of holiday

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coventry weeaboos desu senpai

http://blueanimeivana.playtheradio.com/

>>72513698
Cringeworthy girlfriend roleplay for lonely autists and redditors

>>72513775
don't be ugly la

>>72513775
Stop showing interest in them as people and show interest in them purely as sex objects.

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Stop watching anime.

>>72513663
>once every other day

visible_disgust.jpg

>>72513733
>>72513781
better than nothing lads.

>72513751
>(You)
Cheeky wanker getting my hopes up there

Scotland please don't leave. This dreary island won't be the same and the rorkes will takeover. We need your strong but fair presence and higher intelligence on this island. PLEASE

About to have some tomato soup

DISCLAIMER: I've never had tomato soup before

>>72513778
Exactly. :)

>>72513794
not a chance lad

>>72513802
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAHHH AAAAAAHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I feel sick

>>72513822
don't worry, we're not going to leave

>>72513823
It's nice or shit depending on the brand.

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>>72513812
me on the bottom right

>>72513822
t. Hamish McBeattie

>>72513828
Thanks for introducing it to me lad. Hopefully puts me off the 'ol 'cide.

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thoughts?

miss my ex a lot desu

>>72513822
rorkes already made it mathematically impossible for us to influence westminster even with all our mps singing the same tune

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>>72513822
>The Rorkes will take over
Oh my sweet summer child... they already are. Which is exactly why we need out of this shit union.

>>72513851
i tried to add some garlic powder but it had all gotten moist and stuck together into lumps

fucking humidity

>>72513858
BRAP

>>72513802
She's already BTFO by the fact that we have higher crime stats related to the subject matter and that she's an expert in hyperbole, but whatever.

>>72513799
What, am I meant to say 'by the way, I have a big cock I'd like to smash you with' before I ask them out to drinks

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can always rely on stace to clear out the trash on this board.

one look from her and they run back to the dark rancid hole they crawled out from.

>>72513903
yes

>>72513886
don't see anything wrong with any of that

have stereotypically shit teeth but i brush them regular like

>>72513796
Why would they match me then la

Ugly would only be an issue if I were getting no matches

>Rorkes taking over
>implying that's a bad thing

fuck off rasheed

want scotland to feck off just so the leave mongs can see the damage they did

>>72513829
Yeah, trump won't even get through the primaries

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i dont look too fat in this right??

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is any other country better than us parking out bottoms on islands just outside jf countries and taunting them forever?

>>72513925
Because you are a fucking Rorke. Once we get independence we won't have to put up with your rorke bullshit any longer.

As a half Scot half Pakistani I am absolutely sick of English people acting like racism is cool. Just fuck off.

>>72513698
Have you ever gotten a tingly feeling in your head when someone with a gentle voice was talking or whispering to you?

>>72513723
>That's the time and place when you can suppose that all the people you meet are nice.
That's a mistake.

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>>72513886
>Oh my sweet summer child

Kill yourself degenerate

>>72513413
>interpals is useless
Says you
I've met and fucked more girls off interpals that I've even met once off tinder

Want to go to pizzahut and just eat fucking loads of that unlimited ice cream

>>72513966
not sure if serious tbqh

>>72513964
las malvinas son argentinas

>"you have a new top photo! tap to view"
>no new matches
>swipe dozens and no matches

thought it was supposed to be based on what pic was up while people swiped right

ffs lads

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I love that just by forcing a couple of my shit gimmicks in these threads I've seen them picked up by other posters
This doesn't happen in many other places on imageboards

>>72513904
are stace is a goddess of morality

>>72513993
alri fatty

would mind a chinky girl giving my cock a suck right now

>>72513914
I might be too autistic to do that

I'm not bad with words but I don't know how to flirt

>>72513966
Calm down MacSheed, don't get your knickers in a twist.

>>72513990
t. Darren

>>72514013
I'm 6 foot 150 pounds pal

>>72514012
yes lad. brit is now a stace general

>>72513925
that's because you're short sighted

look at the one about soldiers and war crimes, that directly relates to the echr and in turn the snoopers charter
mummy may wants to up the nanny state

business proposition: independent isle of man

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>MacSheed

>>72513962
russian women are so fucking hot but they age like milk

she'll be hideous by 30

>>72514042
liar

>>72514002
Lad try and cope with having *blocks your path* stolen. dont know whether to be happy or sad

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>Because you are a fucking Rorke
>pakis STILL think rorke is an insult on here

>>72514050
There is literally nothing wrong with an authoritarian state.

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>>72514044
>brit
/brit/* is a Timothy Byrne general

>>72514086
What does rorke even mean? What is its origin?

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>There is literally nothing wrong with an authoritarian state.

>>72514105
rorke's drift

>>72514105
some nerd crap

>>72514062
Ok

>>72514123
I've never used reddit.

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>>72514105

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>>72514058
shes from texas boyo

>>72514105
well hello there reddit! welcome to /brit/!

>>72514090
>i want the government, even the fucking local police and fire department, to spy on me
fuck off then lad

you're counter to british ideals

>>72514163
I work for the government though.

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>>72514083
Fuck that's a pretty impressive portfolio there

why do yank poltards come here?
they don't realise Britain has always been a bastion of liberal and tolerant values

Daily reminder that everyone who thinks Rorke is not an insult needs to return to their containment board on /pol/.

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Why do so many Brits like professional wrestling?

>>72514180
doesn't mean shit

you'd still be subjected to the snoopers charter if may got her way

>>72514151
alri NORAID

>>72514203
Didn't we commit a genocide as recently as the 1960s?

everyone post your willies so I can wank

>>72514199
wow I didn't know hitler was in the new mass effect

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i hurt myself

today

Need an orang utan to go on a rampage on my bollocks lads

>>72514228
bender

>>72514223
which one exactly

>>72514243
One in Kenya.

>>72514215
1) it's been a part of british culture for donkeys
2) we have a lot of pakis

/brit/ is a Rorke general.

>>72514223
It was very tolerant by genocide standards

>>72514240
bi - hetero romantic

>>72514152
1)no she's not she's from russia
2)if she was from texas she would be obese by 30

*flexes at you*

I actually INVENTED the *blocks your path* gimmick

>>72514276
She would also be a Mexican.

>>72514294
I invented the *unsheathes katana* gimmick. Need to claim royalties for that tbqh.

>>72514215
>>72514264
Wresting was big in my childhood but I'm pretty sure today's children don't really watch it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjonGtrCyVE

>Yanks

>>72514294
>I
literally means nothing with > Anonymous

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>>72514105
like to help newlads out x

>>72514235
>The film titled Top Funny Comedian is expected to prove extremely lucrative after Mr Bean's Holiday released in 2007 grossed more than £2.4million in China alone.

>Top Funny Comedian

>>72514332
Rasheed

i invented the convention of asterisks being used to notate actions

>>72514294
I invented almost all yank /brit/ gimmicks tb.h

I literally drew wojak you fucking new twats

>72514276
not going to argue facts with a third class runt like yourself, thanks

>>72514324
all the sports bars in my city show ppvs

it's a bit of a laugh actually to get pissed and watch it like you're a kid again

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which one

honestly the hostility us pakistanis get in this general is absolutely insane, not one general that threads an ethnicity as bad as /brit/ treats us

show some respect

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THE NEEDLE TEARS A WHOLE

>>72514335
do this for every gimmick

teaching is a noble vocation

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Guys I've just come up with a new gimmick I think we can all enjoy:
*blocks your path*

Thoughts?
Also path is to pronounced like a Poortherner, not like 'pahth'

I coined the term gimmick.

People used to call them "memes" before, if you can believe that.

>>72514373
What sort of runty city is this? Bet it's somewhere full of weirdos like Hull

>>72514380
Fuck off

t. bengali

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>>72514368
i actually drew the original wojak, see pic

i appreciate your interpretation though

>>72514425
I am from Hull, fuck off.

>>72514335
Uploading this to Know Your Meme. Cheers lad.

CHICKEN POT PIE

*squirms*

>tfw you can cuck blue/green eyed girls with your brown eyes

feels nigger man

i could fuck everyone in this thread

one after the other

i'd have to keep hydrated though

*pins your body against the wall*

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the goal bf

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>>72514428
This is actually the original Wojak, you're welcome.

>>72514425
what's your nearest city lad?

bet any money you have sports bars showing it too

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>having sexual fantasies about Theresa may again lads

god help me

>>72514479
Isn't this the Prince of Sweden?

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>>72514482
no THIS is the original wojak

>>72514485
Sicko. Ha ha

>>72514380
We must stay strong brother and not let rorke defeat us.

The only way to change this is by increasing the percentage of pakis in /brit/, I've already got a few of my cousins to start posting here

>>72514485
Wew lad

>>72514477
k-k-kiss me!

*shits in a bag and leaves it on your doorstep and I light the bag on fire*

Traced posts:
>>72514503
>>72514380
>IP: London
OH I am laughing

Imagine if London stopped existing. How much better would the UK be?

having sexual (and non-sexual) fantasies involving a girl that loves my body and loves me for who I am again lads

fucks sake

Imagine being a virgin!
I mean, I guess it's acceptable... If you're under 15 hahhaha!

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>>72514485
TM on point

>>72514380
Pakistan is an aberration

>>72514560
>ywn be treated as a child by her

>>72514580
leave him alone you big meanie

>>72514535
Birmingham actually

>>72514561
>tfw 22 and a virgin
>tfw 23 this year
Honestly considered becoming a priest just so I had an excuse.

It's my own desire
It's my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most Of freedom and of pleasure

>>72514602
A fucking Brummie.

any of you lads live in endz?

bum


fart


bum and fart

farts come out of bums

girls have bums and so do boys

boys put willies in girls and boys bums

girls have fannies that boys stick hard willies inside and do cums

doin a wank to the thought of putting a willy into a fanny and doing a cum

then doing a poo

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what did she mean by this

>>72514618
I'm not a brummie, I'm from Azad Kashmir
This is just my current location for economical reasons

>>72514235
>I have a Masters from Oxford, you know
>just put on the costume and make funny noises
JUST

>>72514374
They're both money-grubbers looking for betabux

>>72514621
Did for a while, nothing ever happened to me though. Over the years a bunch of rich white bumbaclaart kids started moving in though

>>72514643
>somebody made this image

>>72514667
Live in Birmingham = Brummie

Stupid, dumb, brummie scum.

>>72514643
Who did it first?

i've got work in the morning, i should probably go to bed now

whats that? i should stay up until 4:00 AM?

sigh, if you insist

Theresa looks like she was hot as a young woman

But she actually wasn't, quite a bummer
.
.
.
.
.
would still smash

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>ywn call her "mommy"

>>72514711
Just call in sick. Mr Noseberg can afford to miss you for a day.

>>72514621
I live in the token ''''nice''''' area surrounded by overspill council estates

This is where people from the endz come when they want to burgal a house

>>72514720
maybe not hot, but she was pretty cute

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thinking this hard cant be good for me

>>72514725
going to bed disgustingly late on a sunday night is not unusual for me

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>Theresa May will never dominate you

>>72514731
South Circular?

>>72514770
She will dominate the political scene for at least a decade.

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Theresa is cute, CUTE!

>>72514711
>tfw have to get up at 7:45

I'm going to be tired tomorrow anyway, so why not stay up another couple of hours?

>>72514741
nzionist sockpuppet

and the Nobel prize for literature goes to *drum roll* .......... >>72514640

>>72514775
Mummyposters should be killed.

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we jojo now

>>72514786
>I'm going to be tired tomorrow anyway, so why not stay up another couple of hours?

exactly

i always feel knackered in the morning anyway so what good is a good nights sleep anyway

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>>72514786
has been my logic for years hoho

>>72514773
Not in London

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>>72514774
>She will dominate the political scene for at least a decade.

Not if pic related has anything to say about it

>>72514640
this post sums up /brit/ tbqhffwyl (to be quite honestly fucking frank with you lads)

joking aside, the thought of fucking Theresa without a condom, rock-hard penis entering her wet, soft walls of pleasure.. it just makes me harder than graphene

having a wank oh yes I'm having a wank

>>72514830
blairs a bit old now

>>72514830
BLOOD

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SULTRY

*fuses with you*

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anon take like ten pictures

>>72514830
I really wish he'd just fuck off, just disappear somewhere and don't bother anyone.

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*diffuses towards you*

>>72514830
>
lmao

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>we have a female prime minister right now

still blows my noggin every time I remember this fact

Already had a wank, bit bored now. Don't feel like another
Gonna give myself a day off tomorrow I reckon, need to play Silent Hill at last

Gonna warm up some day old pizza, watch an episode of scrubs and then go to bed to sleep for 2 hours until Noseberg requires me to wake up.

JUST WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT REEEEE NOT EVEN TIRED YET!

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>>72514738
>35 years old

>>72514848
*turns into Twin-Headed Thunder Dragon*

Paul Nuttall is a shell of a man compared to Tim Farron

Lib dems will be second in the next general election

>>72514861
bunch of munters

wouldnt root any of them

FUCK NIGGERS

>>72514889
ummm excuse me but you sound like you're not grateful for that job!!!!

>>72514886
Yeah it's pretty amazing that we're living in the historical period of the first female prime minister of the UK

>>72514889
I went to sleep at about 4am last monday night and woke up at 7 for work, honestly didn't even feel tired at all.

>>72514903
hideous, genuinely hideous

she's legitimately much more attractive now than back then, which is embarrassing

>>72514861
they look like the kind of girls who reckon a big night is a bottle of wine each and a 1am return from the club but act like they're on day 5 of a coke fuelled bender

>>72514886
hahaha you wanna talk about mind blowing heads of state,

>>72514932
What's more, she's a Tory! Who would've thought that the first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland would be a Tory?

HOWLING that fanny mean vagina in the United Kingdom. Here it means butt, so on American telivision cartoon charachters in children shows could say fanny but it means cunt in British English

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>>>/tv/80645319
>>>/tv/80646809
Potential thread of interest lads.

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>>72514961
>hahaha you wanna talk about mind blowing heads of state,

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>>72514840
AWH FUCK YEAH THAT'S THE STUFF

cannot stand ice cold water
room temperature or fuck off

>>72514970
56%

>>72514970
also the term "fanny pack" lol
must sound ridiculous

*boils some water in the microwave*

>>72514970
This always confused me when I watched American shows as a child and they said fanny. Literally thought they meant vag.

>>72515008
>fanny pack
's a bumbag

>>72515007
100%

>>72514720
she's one of those women like jamie lee curtis or carrie-anne moss where they look better when they're older

>>72514999
>those brobdingnagian chebs

stop it la, it's too late to 'ave a wank

>>72514969
No, that's not possible. Nasty conservatives would never allow a woman to become PM. Only progressives like Labour and the Greens would so something like that. Anything you see to the contrary is a fevered delusion.

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>>72514861

I want to become, like, three times more horny on a daily basis

Thoughts on how to achieve this?

>>72515051
Was this picture taken in the UK?

>>72515079
just be yourself x3

>>72515079
wank off less

>>72515106
Fuck that's deep

>>72515104
just took it right now la

>>72515079
Don't masturbate.

WARNING:

May result in spillages in the night.

>>72515159
never had a wet dream

but i will do a dry heem (of you)

>>72515159
>>72515110

Might do this

Just watch out when you tuck me in at night! ahaaha x

best mate is doing an internship in amsterdam, straight after having done a minor in estonia where he fucked dozens of girls

meanwhile I'm still a virgin NEET lmao

got called a baka at the local chinky's

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>wait all week for the weekend
>weekend comes
>it's shit

>>72515229
yeah not planning to tuck in an aussie manchild mong tonight

>>72515257
Now whose fault is that nigel xoxox

>>72515247
you mean the chinkerino's?

>>72515277
Do it or I'll make sure you never get a gf

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>>72514795
rude

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>>72515257
>Wait all day at work for my evening where I can do ANYTHING™
>it's shit and I do nothing

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>>72515287
my cousin came to visit
she didn't invite me to come hang out with her

Hello. I'm trying to get good at recognising British accents. So if you would read this "As a half Scot half Pakistani I am absolutely sick of English people acting like racism is cool. Just fuck off." and post the Vocaroo so I can guess what region you're from. Thanks.

>>72515321
mate I've already accepted that

the prospect of getting a gf is just so incredibly far away, it's not even on me mind

it's like trying to annoy me by saying I won't go to Mars. I know I won't and it's a pity, but oh well.

>>72515359
no its 1:20am piss off

>>72515367
#woke

not sure why i'm still up lmao

>>72515378
afraid to wake up your mum?

so lads jokes aside when are we gonna leave the EU

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brewery doing a nazi

Would you rather have no girlfriend or be in a long-distance relationship?

>>72515402
haha lmao :)

>>72515367
Want to come to Mars with me? x

>>72515434
no gf

>>72515434
:)

also to answer your question rather have no gf

chipper, chippy, or chippo lads?

>>72515425
>not £14.88
boo-urns

>>72515434
no gf

I've already done the long distance and the only positive was knowing I'd never do it again

>>72515451
chipper on here chippy irl

*puts gazpacho in the microwave*

>>72515367
literally me

used to always be depressed because tfw no gf

but since about 8 months ago, its completely escaped my mind. i dont think about it at all anymore.

the entire concept of getting a gf is just so alien to me, i don't even care anymore. not bothered at all by it

>>72515489
*puts you in microwave*

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>thanks for me taking me out for lunch, son!
>now what did you want to tell me...?

>>72515499
exactly

don't even know where I'd find one

I'm reading engin*ering, no girls there

Theresa looks like a Hobgoblin desu

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Time to go read the old ex-gfs blog and realise what I missed out on~!

been talking to myself a lot lately

might be doing a go insane

>>72515511
whats that heinz sauce

everyone's in here already
>>72515497
>>72515497
>>72515497


>>72515497
>>72515497
>>72515497

>>72515511
No problem, mother! I had something really interesting and funny to tell you but unfortunately we're at the end of the thread and i prefer to save it for the next, maximize the (You)s and that y'know

>>72515257
ktf

Was going out last night for the first weekend in an age.

>meet up with girl
>head to an irish bar
>all going well
>place is mobbed and live music playing
>get up and dance
>after a couple of pints she says she feels sick and asks me to take her home
>take back t her student accom
>meet some spanish girls who're going out clubbing
>go out with
>clubs won't let us because its too late
>go to mcdonalds
>walk them home
>walk 30 minutes to my flat in the pishing rain
Its always an anti-climax.