/brit/

redpill me on taigs

Why was cinema in the 80's so good?

gas them
you know the ones

remmeber being off my face on mandy in leeds on time

and i met some lads from norn iron and i said 'where u lads from'

'norn iron'

'ahh irish?'

'no no no northern ireland we're british'

'but you're from ireland'

anyway long story short, i shotted them a Q of chedz

>>72400774
don't believe for a moment canadian girls are hard to smash

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Uncle?

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Post Tones and Milibands

>>72400849
probably would have smashed your face in if you werent selling them drugs

What is Irish culture?

>>72400806
would you fuck off

>>72400860
it gets very cold up there though

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pygmy hippos a cute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcP9I0xNdG4

>>72400919
that was my nickname in school

>>72400883
nah i was harder than both of them and they thought i was just mishearing/ignorant.

>>72400919
my city's zoo just had a pygmy hippo born. pretty cute ngl

eating peanut butter and marmite on toast lads

>>72400777
Northern Ireland is shit and needs to fuck off.

>>72400919
they're basically the Disney definition of cute

>>72400981
SAY YOY HAR NOY

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can you talk about atlantis again

so i just became self-employed lads

does anyone here know how to pay taxes?

do i just go to mr. tax and slip him 30% of what i made that week? where is he?

>>72401019
What about it? The Pegasus Galaxy is a long way away.

Just read a sad article about some young lad killing himself but he was a giga-Chad so finding it hard to have sympathy

>>72401028
yeah that's exactly how it works

>>72401028
here read this
https://www.ato.gov.au

why does trump take xanax?

for hispanic attacks

>>72401079
guffawed at this one
love a good dad joke

>>72401077
wonder how people figured this shit out before the internet

fucking bureaucracy

Might go backpacking again boyos

Dunno where. Maybe a memey Eurotrip again.

Don't mind a bit of the ol' 'Nam though.

Sick of twats asking me if I'm going out for St Patrick's Day. I'm not fucking Irish and frankly they piss me off.

>>72400820
hmmmm issue is I'm adverse to committing and don't have a lot of disposable cash, hate the idea of spending $80 on boots, doing 2-3 games and giving up on it. would prefer to borrow some shoes for the first two weeks and then make up my mind, just think with my limited experience I could make a total arse of myself and unable to improve my skills (and don't want to look like a ponce showing up with brand new flawless boots)

still though I like the idea of getting involved, have a job right now so it won't be a major issue if I blow a bit of cash, and I guess can resell the boots for a bit if need be

Just watched Fandango's video on PJW. I'm a bit of a rorke but obviously Fandango's more right on that one, PJW was being a right dumb mong.

in america they advertise prices without factoring in tax
glad i don't live in the land of the 'free'

>>72400882
t. corporate

>>72401073
link?

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real yank hours who up

>>72401168
couldn't stand that shit while I was there

>>72401111
considered south america?

reminder that the aussie lad is copying my posting habits

>>72401111
i've never been backpacking, because not only am i unemployed and poor, but i also have severe social anxiety

>>72401184
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-03-17/grieving-mum-warns-of-suicide-risk-from-social-media/8351416
>>72401168
Yeah but look how cheap everything is

anyone else smell a latvian in here?

just found out robin williams died a few years ago

why didn't anyone tell me?

>>72401111
Backpacking in southeast asia is a bigger meme than Europe. Can't stand the runts who come back from there with their heads shoved so far up their arse they can barely breath all because they visited some small, poor town and said hello to some locals

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>>72401234
>We are here today because of a choice that Zach made. A bad choice
>eternal peace
>A bad choice
fucking normies

got the cheeky chinky in

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>>72401256
>a few years ago
jesus christ

>>72401275
Could punt that little goblin halfway to Perth in a single kick

>>72401265
My only friend did this and he never shuts the fuck up about it, genuinely impossible to have a conversation that doesn't quickly steer onto SEA and never get off the topic

>>72401275
me in the middle

Getting absolutely SICK of the ozzy man reviews gimmick on normiebook

>>72401149

vinnies usually has some decent used boots for cheap. I can't see you embarrassing yourself if you ask them to put you in the worst team

>>72401161
yeah it's a fact de su, one of our past pms described australia as the most irish country outside of ireland

current pm, current leader of the opposition, tone and rudd (another former pm) are all catholic, gillard had to break the streak (probably 80% of people who hated her couldn't stand the accent, it was nauseating)

Fucking STARVING lads. Can't wait for my triple chicken salad wrap from Mozzers tbqh.

I'm gay

>>72401313
Remember watching his early stuff before he made it really big on reddit and Facebook, when it was just poking some fun at GoT. It was alri
Went to shit quick after that. Can't stand his put on accent any more either

>>72401323
wouldn't fuck kaley cuoco, because while she doesn't look like my sister, she has a sisterly look to her

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>You where the most viable thing splashing around in your dads nutsack

Really makes you wonder what these other abominations would have been

>>72401366
me2

>>72401323
my world was shattered when i learned that those were fake nips

>>72401316
ah yes but the ol' anxiety works in mysterious ways
good call, size 10 should be common, though I'd want to buy a proper pair if I really commit to it

bored lads :c

>>72401376
>viable
absolutely random game due to starting position and circumstances

>>72401394
top or bottom

>>72401306
You can take the man out of the jungle but you can never take the jungle out of the man.

>>72401366
that's totally fine and acceptable in western society today

SHITralia is a BACKWARDS SHITHOLE

Who agrees with me?

>>72401404
w-what do you mean?

>>72401335
Weird how all these former British colonies never seem to have many English people in them.

>>72401375
I completely agree about the sisterly thing, it's weird

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About to roll an EXTREMELY cheeky one lads

>>72401420
Wish this top/bottom meme wouldn't exist. Vers, if you must know, depending on the mood and circumstances.

http://i.imgur.com/lyxuzuk.gifv
padded bras should be illegal

>>72401265

Unironically love SEA though.

Hot weather, good looking landscapes, no laws, decent food, cheap alcohol.

Might go back to 'bodia.

Hmmmmmmm

>posting facebook memes

>>72401452
Ok, want to bum me? x

>Juve - Barca

Wew

>>72401375
>>72401446
sounds like you lads are experiencing repressed incestuous thoughts

>>72401455
they're lovely, fuck you on about

>>72401470
Would happy fuck my sister desu

>>72401438
her nipples aren't hard she's wearing fakes

>>72401455
those are still some pretty top shelf norks though

just a little bit shy of perfection

>>72401447
w-wait where's the rolling machine?

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>>72401467
sorry
bf

>>72401447
that's never going to fit properly in your rolling machine lad

>>72401313
Stupid cunts at work are always playing it during smoko, hate these blokes like Jim Jeffries where there only gimmick is swearing in an played up Australian accent

Reminder it's not gay if you're the top

people that objectively had a god-given right to win:

>senna

>>72401470
nah not really

i also wouldn't fuck lauren cohen because she actually genuinely does look like my sister

>>72401499
>>72401515
snap

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>>72401455
I'm still 100% fine with those tits

THIS SHIT ON THE OTHER HAND

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>>72401518
FACT

>>72401512
cheating only counts if it's a hetero relationship, everyone knows that

i would fuck lauren cohan because she actually genuinely does look like matey's sister

>>72401561
>gif
Fuck off

>>72401470
well I definitely wouldn't my sister
>>72401544
but I would fuck his

>>72401544
sister looks near identical to me so luckily if I met a girl that looked like her I'd probably focus on her looking like me than her

The Nazis were the goodies

>>72401561
saw a guy in the sports carnival at my school who had very obviously stuffed his junk with socks and i was going to call him out on it but it was so obvious (you could see the contours of the socks through the thin fabric his pants were made of) that i assumed he was doing it ironically

in retrospect, he probably wasn't

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWvZcSqK7w8

>>72401143
What are you then?

>>72401573
never understood why the wahhabi media like the project always tried to take the piss out of him for wearing proper attire

>>72401619
always knew there was something off about Bill Oddie

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>when someone is using your computer and you are shitting ya undies dey will find ya porn

>>72401619
Yeah but they were German so it was gonna go terribly wrong even if they won. Krauts can't stand a free thinking man

>>72401594
my sister is the fat version of her

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Fucking love Morrisons. All this and a chocolate brownie for £3.50, alhamdullilah.

>>72401641
Wear boardshorts you RUNT

>>72401675
t. insecure

GISM is the best punk band ever and if you disagree fuck off

the misfits ar emy favourite though

>>72401667
Gastroenteritis comes free

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>Every night I'll kiss you, you'll say in my ear "oh we're in love aren't we?"

>>72401641
personal attacks on him were always irritating, aside from the seminary shit he's a reasonably good guy in person, a lot of his friends would make excuses for the anti-gay sentiment and similar that he displayed

>>72401697
>a japanese punk band

now i've seen everything

>>72401700
*Poos onto you*

got diarrhoea, blocked nose, sore throat, headache and upset tummy :(

might do a trilogy run of mass effect in anticipation of andromeda but can't quite be arsed at this time

weathers lookin up lads
happy st patricks to my fellow /brit/ paddies, have a good one xx

>>72401737
DIIISS
DDDIIIIS

DDIIIIIISTROIIIIII

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doing a think

>>72400919
Imagine if starving Africans were this qt.

>>72401769
i could take care of at least two of those problems with my mouth

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>>72401801
which ones x
please do x

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>>72401641
Saw 5mins of that piece of shit tonight. They were interviewing Arnold and 90% of the interview was references to his movies and 'whats is your favourite one movies' as if it that ground hadn't been trodden in tv interviews for the last 30yrs, and interspersed with that were obnoxious questions trying to bait him into bad mouthing trump.
dont know how a show like that even survives in this country, are there really that many soft cuck liberals with a shit sense of humour?

ahh yes "patty's day"

>>72401789
never been much of a fan of this guy, if i'm honest

i much prefer that old bloke with the comically magnified glasses

>>72401794
funny how starving lion cubs are 100x cuter than starving afican babies

>>72401667

*searches for doxxable info*

>>72401789
so sick of this fucking clown

have never watched an episode of the project in my life
am I missing anything?

if a girl poos or farts near me, or even mentions pooing or farting in conversation i will be instantly, permanently unattracted to her no matter how pretty she is

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you're messing me around

you've been messing me around and I need you out of business, sunshine

>>72401862
girl i last had sex with farted several times during the act

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me in the middle

>>72401862
>not sucking the fart out yourself

>>72401862
Child

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>>72401860
by no means

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>only 1 yank post in the entire thread
late morning /brit/ is the best

>>72401932
Bet he nailed that one ha ha

>>72401932
very bad shoop

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>>72401932
>>72401895
>>72401888
*blocks your path*

i do 2, sometimes 3 poos a day

not sure if this means i'm unhealthy or i'm very healthy

just ate a tuna mayo wrap with red onions and cucumbers in it

breath is PONGING right now

>>72401835
Not being funny but I'm old. I've seen a few decades of starving African babies. Nothing changes.
I donate to a kids cancer charity where I live now. I can see the difference I make.

>>72401981
racist nonce

>>72401964
i do this as well

never touched female skin

>>72402019
girl at the pharmacy touched my hand when she was giving me my change the other day

>>72401964
it's not about the quantity but the quality

what are your plans for st pikeys day lads?

>>72402008
clic sergeant
few quid a month. I don't miss it.

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>two 5/10s come over to buy weed from my roommate
>he's at work and tells them "yeah grab it from anon" without letting me know
>they knock on the door as I'm mid-wank
>blueball myself and get hit on by two ugs while I sell them a bag
>both are hitting on me very obviously
>just want to get them out of my fucking apartment so I can get back to videos of tiny asian girls getting creampied

genuinely don't give a fuck about real women anymore lads

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>>72401963
How does Johnny Foreigner keep finding out about Australian state secrets? the shit I see posted here sometimes blows my mind

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*blocks your path*

Considering moving to Germany after we leave the EU. Do you think it'll be hard for us to get in? Might be worth moving over before the gate shuts.

>>72402019
When you're a virgin, the last vagina you touched was your mother's on your way out of it. Life is beautiful.

>>72402102
no problem for you rasheed

>>72402067
they're usually big ones, the first of the day is usually dry and hard but the second (and third if applicable) is always smooth

>>72402111
bet most virgins here were from their mother's wombs untimely ripped

>>72402111
I was a c-section, I've literally NEVER touched a vagina once in my life haha

>>72401981
I do feel for africans but I feel like a dollar of aid today will mean 2 dollars in 10 years time
they need to work within the limits of their lan

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>>72401964
I can have 3 good shits a day and I struggle to gain weight. Is this an actual metabolism problem

>>72402074
dont care

>>72402094
apparently AFL is a thing in ireland

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>>72402111
i was a caesarian

>>72402124
>>72402141

fucking called it >>72402123

>>72402141
if you were a caesarian you aren't a real person

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>>72402117
sounds good so far
colour of your pee?

>>72402131
no thats Gaelic football
they just do a mish-mash of each sport called "International Rules" so that they can have an international series

>>72402096
Do not find the K-pop look attractive in the slightest.

It's spread has really ruined asians for me

>>72402124
>>72402141
used to be like this
now of course ive only had sex once and i couldnt get hard, let alone cum, so the actual penetration lasted id say absolute maximum 10 seconds but that doesnt matter it fully counts regardless

it is spread has really ruined

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fanny

>>72402094
adam goodes was a meme at one point on /sp/
you posted a picture of him and a bunch of australian flags would reply with 'BOOOOOOO'

>>72401964
I do about 7 greasy poos a day. My stomach constantly hurts and sometimes I get ass butter just randomly and have to go have a wipe. I'm in shape and young, so it's probably a chronic condition that will never go away.
My life is suffering.

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REMINDER that since natural selection isn't allowed to take its course that bad vision and c-sections will be the future of humanity

>>72402123
>>72402124
>>72402141
Lack of that first experience is probably holding you back. You have to touch your mother's vagina so you can be set right, as you were supposed to be. It's the only way.

>>72402163
usually green, sometimes blue

>>72402171
bit gay to not like it desu ezekiel

>australian digestive systems

*heems phimosis*

joke: k-pop stars
woke: gravure idols

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>>72402161
damn, it wasnt even necessary in my case but mum's doctor was going on holidays and didn't want anyone else to deliver me

I'm not going out tonight because I'm not irish and am making a statement haha it has nothing to do with the fact that i am friendless and cripplingly depressed LOL

got a psychiatrists appointment tomorrow and going to try and convince him to put me on amphetamines

I'm going to stay in and beat my gf for st paddys day

>>72402196
its probably crohn's or IBS or something
you should really get it checked before the damage is too much

>>72402253
stop calling your dick your gf mate, it's weird

>california went from the vanguard of technology and prosperity to a crumbling shithole
how did this happen

>>72402226
yeah i remember you from a few months back

i dub thee caesarian-because-doctor-was-going-on-holiday-lad

it's a working title

>>72402219
This is how capitalists look to me.

if you are celebrating st padraig's day you are a culturally appropriating BIGOT

coldplay
hotplay

>>72402080
Now imagine how this feels without having a waifu at all

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>>72402270
i already have a name

Currently in my room taking the goanna for a walk

>>72402192
His youtube channel is legit good.

>>72402268
they got too full of themselves

hubris is the downfall of every great man

we want plates

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What books you lot reading then?

>>72402292
do you say to it "goanna, we're gonna goanna walk"

>>72402309
none, i have adhd >>72402238

>>72402196

grim lad. how long has it been happening?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHcJFQ_ncpU
wew

>>72402111
have stuck my penis in a vagine before but still a virgin haha lmao

Who /mutualaid/ here?

porsches instantly became dogshit as soon as the engines got too big to maintain the classic silhouette

>>72402309

finishing off 'dhartha

>>72402293
i don't agree, it has no real direction and any topic that's actually interesting doesn't get talked about for long enough

>>72402309
long posts on /brit/

>>72402273
edgy baguetty

>>72402127
same, eat crazy amounts, poo all the time but stuck at 70kg

>>72402353
mutilated? nah, I'm uncut mate

>>72402309
And quiet flows the Don.

>>72402355

what's your third eye status now?

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>>72402309
Read arrians alexander today

>>72402312
liked this post

>>72400860
theyre not, my mates who've been to canada slayed puss

>>72401275
LITTLE FAT RACIST WANKER

>>72402401
its only because of the accent

i gain about half a kilo a week

>>72402353
Why are you mutilated in gods country?
Are your parents yanks? Or muzzies?

just remembered half of new zealand's anthem is in maori

>>72402427
Good bulk. Once you shred out, you'll be ripped as

if theres one thing i dont do its pickup girls, its too demeaning not for them the stupid whores i mean for me putting on that act im not doing that fucking no way https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUjh9Id6Id8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p50R8rkzkhk

this is both my favourite music video AND my favourite song

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>>72401275

>you'll never drop kick a fat fuck kick like a rugby ball

Bit flustered lads

>>72402452
In the Dutch national anthem, they pledge loyalty to the king of Spain

>>72402476
>the growlers
isn't that a name for poo

>>72402452
sounds good though desu

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>>72402374
>65 kg
I make an effort to eat more, lift, and I'm a tradie
Fuck me dead cunt

>>72402491
no, vaginas

>>72402491
i suppose it could be

>>72402507
just have more pies on smoko

>>72402389

thoroughly opened. off to goa next week

>yanks think fannies are bums when they're vaginas
>aussies think growlers are poo when they're vaginas
why are the colonies so obsessed with arses and shit

>>72402529
grand-god tier of posts

am sick of skinny cunts complaining about never gaining weight

>>72401561
DING DING DING

JANNY

JANNY

OH JANNY DEAEST

REMOVE THIS PORNOGRAPHIC FILTH ROM MY SIGHT AT ONCE!

just did a growler

>>72402491
No, it's minges or pork pies.

>>72402455
I love how you've replaced Thailad as the resident foreigner lad, well I mean not Dutchcara. The exotic foreigner spot. There were several Thailads It was difficult sometimes.

>>72401667
alri joe

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this is a growler

prefer Ethiopialad over the rorkey nonce

post guygrowler

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>>72402529
>>72402549
ITS NOT FUNNY I've got Chippys and Brickys calling me muscles all day

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midday already a bit tired

>>72402643
should've done better in school

>>72402643
alri muscles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9-4T-WES5M

>>72402374
>>72402507
Fake news. You just need to take what you already eat and have another meal everyday. That way you know you're not fooling yourself. I eat a 800cal bowl of oats and peanut butter at the end of the day to account for my under eating. Plus I drink 2-3 litres of milk. You're just not trying hard enough.

im in this weird state where i want to be horny but im not

>>72402683
this

should have been working out in the library a bit more

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>>72402628

>>72402706
are you a fucking horse m8?

>>72402643

hello big fella

you mind nippin down to shop for us champ?

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>select around the image captcha
>On my phone

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>>72402507
if you're young I think it's just a matter of timing
if you follow tennis look up the zverev brothers, his older brother is reasonably built while the 19 year old looks full on skelly despite being a major athlete, I imagine he'll look like his brother in a few years

>>72402735

cool

>>72402735
Speak of the devil

THAAAAILAAAD

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>>72402773

>>72402723
isn't it terrible when you spent the whole day or even days leading up to a wank and you just don't feel like it?

>>72402684
DONT CALL ME THAT ITS NOT MY NAME

>>72402683
>this is what uni fags actually believe
I get good pay and can listen to audiobooks and pirated Teaching Company courses while I work all day, its pretty comfy

DAAALIAAAATH

can you buy a snake in ireland?

>>72402740
No I'm like 6ft and weigh 77kg. Used to weigh 59.

>>72402735

ah yes, the midlands menace

he just NEEDS attention

>>72402749
ye
when i was 18 i was under 10st, about 9st 11lbs or something
23 and now and over 12st

>>72402780
>actually 'leading up to a wank'

>>72402837
>he doesn't take a run-up

>>72402780
Anyone tried VR wanking? It's not bad but there is a definite lack of full length videos, it seems no site has filled the niche yet. (Apart from paid sites which can fuck off)

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>>72402723
>>72402780
Currently at the stage where I feel the compulsion to bash the bishop but I'm also finding porn quite nauseating

>>72402829
This happened to me. Getting an office job and drinking more really did a number on my body.

>>72402820
youre a proper lightweight
we're the same weight and im 5'9"

>>72402723
You don't even fucking know mate YOU DON'T KNOW

>>72402771
pls use summoning powers sparingly
>>72402827
settle down

>>72402837
recently burst a vein in my foreskin so I couldn't wank without aggrevating it

just had one and looks like another vein has burst in a different area, anyone know what my penis means by this?

>>72402837

so this.....is the power.....of low testosterone

Wanking with a long cock is tiring

Could literally do two hands at once

>>72402863
im not fat though

Pulled a hammy doing my pre-wank stretches

>>72402896
stop masturbating

>>72402864
alri pudgy

>>72402254
Too late, the anxiety it causes me makes the stomach issues worse. Probably could fix my diet and drink less, but I've done it before and it was only marginal improvement.

>>72402328
5 years or so. I actually can't remember what not feeling like this was like.

Having my fourth fap of the day so the mean boys on 4chan don't call me low test

>>72402903
can't most people get both hands on their dick

>>72402859
try finding a girl you're really into and watch the scene from the beginning, to her stripping down and everything
you need to FEEL the porn

>>72402309
The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

>>72402556
get them on amitriptyline m8, i was a skeleton for years before i started taking it

>>72402964
Yes but most people don't fill up both hands all the way with dick

>>72402931
sup thailad

honestly took me about a year of wanking to discover the one hand technique
I was using the fingertips of both hands

why are there so many australians

>>72402991
sup brahh

>>72402942

I know anxiety makes IBS worse. Tests can be done and medication prescribed.

Do you work or go to uni or what?

>>72402931
alri varg?
only go once a day/ every two days
just a recent phenomenon too, used to wank loads more at certain points in the past but this didn't happen

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>>72402196
Stop drinking Maccas coffee la'

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>>72402864
Don't need be mean desu i never said i was heavy i just said what i eat

>>72403000
alri octopus boy

REALLY need a poo

>>72402985
i do :^)

tfw tall and fat

wining combination

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couple of hours til gf lands, had a quick tidy up of the worst bits, hid evidence of indiscretions last weekend. I should probably change the sheets too but I can't really be bothered.

>>72402955
heh KID it's the other way around, high testers can exercise self-restraint and concentrate their cummies into big cummies

>>72402903
pics x

>>72403030
What's your length lad

think i might wank

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>>72403004
all me. where else would I got on a friddy night

>tfw arms are starting to stretch the sleeves of medium polos
waheyyy

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>>72403040
wahey

wanking a twink

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englishland

>>72403004
its real aussie hours

>>72403075
what to exactly?

>>72403022
i couldnt gain weight until my metabolism dived when i was about 21

>>72403091
I wish there were more of these

>>72402917
I'm not fat either, I've just got man tits and a beer belly.

Rest of me's like a twig. Truly the most disgusting body type.

Love this time of day.
>No Yanks
>Less normie Brits
>Aussies are the only jfs
Comfy

hurry up and make a new

>>72403113
>>72403113
>>72403113

>>72403080
fuck me that looks like a comfy shitposting cave
could spend weeks in there with the ol' daught's bringing you food and cleaning around out

>>72403012
hows thailand

is algerinonce dead?

>>72403065
varies depending on how turned on I am but maximum is like solid 7" at least :D

>>72403135
just get a couple of dumbells and have a go with them