/brit/

umm sweetie that's the present

*belches*

https://youtu.be/HJQ_WhYXhuI

Good morning, lads. Benefits are sitting comfy in the ol' current account. Not sure what to buy. Maybe that new NieR game.

Reminds me of the Soviet Union

>>72276686
>>72276690
FOY

listening to the dandy warhols

haven't checked if they're /mu/-approved yet though

>>72276612
Do not moisturise areas that are moist and have no air circulation

>>72276725
How are you supposed to clean your dick? I pull the foreskin back and give it a good wipe over with a flannel. But is that too rough? Sometimes my foreskin feels kinda sticky, like it's too dry. Should you dry under your foreskin after a shower?

>>72276725
why?

>>72276712
Hallo early 00's time traveller

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3
3
3
3

>>72276740
seems like something you should have learned at like 4 years old. how are you this inept?

>>72276740
>rubbing the head with a flannel

fucking hell i tensed up just reading that

about to bite into a brioche for the very first time with only a cursory knowledge of what a brioche is

>>72276772
made a loaf of brioche the other day

it was too much brioche

>>72276772
your dick is about to be hard as diamonds

>>72276749
they'll be cool again when everyone loses their 80s/90s boner and gets a 00s boner

Sat outside drinking a beer while my pasta cooks

Mental

brie
ausch

You all are probably dirty pakies aren't you?

>>72276794
>Y
>FO

PICK BOTH!!!

>>72276797
do you think anyone will ever have a 10s boner?
we probably live in the worst period of history atm

that briosche was pretty good

>>72276838
10s are awesome

>>72276850
shits dank as fuck

>>72276838
today it's like the early 80s, we're on the brink of nuclear war and big chunk of the youth are more conservative than their parents

>>72276791
how much cheese is too much cheese?

*captures you*

hmmm
*guts a man*
mhmmm
nootka
mmhhmm
*fucks sister*
be veeeery careful now
hmmm
I want a ship

unta gleebon glouben globen

>>72276868
alri paedojew

>>72276896
I am not him you roo cunt

rip mike brown

>>72276892
THE FUCKING AMERICANS

>>72276888
depends how much you like cheese, really

>>72276895
give it to me baby

I don't like Normies

Do you like NORMIES??

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want to buy a chair like this but for the indoors, cheap and cushioned, where's a good place to look in australia?

Just received my gf in the post lads

>>72276969
the meme shop

>>72276955
R U N T
U
N
T

Not liking normies is a sure sign of intense social and sexual frustration.
Wouldn't associate with anyone saying that.

>>72276888
Regularly eat fondue with just a spoon 2bh
Aiming for a heart attack by 35

>>72276995
unironically true

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>>72276957
despise them

>>72276990
doesn't have to look gimmicky, I just want something simplistic that you can read a book comfortably from or watch tv

>microwave rice
>half a tin of sweetcorn
>half a tin of tuna
rate my lazy lunch lads

>>72277025
welfare/10

>>72277025
*dials Runt Control*
Found another one mate, they're everywhere these days

>>72277025
I eat something like this everyday at work

>microwave rice (various types)
>whole can of tuna & mixed bean salad OR 2 chicken breasts

~750kcal, 50-70g protein, 10-24g fibre, ~£3.30

AUSSIE POWER HOUR
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFW7cQLGWL4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLO936bgrnw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKuc3faQAEs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XDmasbARtE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkspJuX7J9I

Got one match on tinder after a hundred random swipes, but it was a fat brown girl who lives 40km away

>>72276755
Don't be mean.

>>72276768
Is your dick that sensitive? Mine isn't. Am I abnormal?

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>spend 20 minutes walking home
>eat lunch for 20 minutes
>spend 20 minutes walking back to work

>>72277072
Haven't heard of any of these before and certainly won't be changing that now

>>72277090
hit that shit.
shes a fat girl she'll drive 40km just to suck a dick

Wish an aussie could tell me about his experience with the Gympie-Gympie tree and possibly send me a sample.

>>72277110
wog cunt

>>72277114
Dragged my exposed bollocks across a branch once

>>72277102
What exactly's the problem here? You went for a nice walk and had lunch

>>72277147
do the same thing each and every day

>>72276969
Those things aren't comfortable are they?

Alri lads. I'm off today lmao

Gave my cock the ol scrubbo with some steel wool and WD40, really gets those stains out

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>that fucking name

my gp is fairly obviously a bender and he patted me on the back the last time i left his office

bit scared to go back now

>>72277157
It's almost like you have the option to not walk home every single day

wish i didn't have straight hair

>>72277178
Misspelt Sapphire too the dumb cunts

>>72277102
>getting an hour lunch break

lucky fucking wanker

>>72277189
Are you gonna cancel your prostate exam he recommended then?

keep making sexual advances on my patients

being a bender gp is the best gig in the world tb h

patted one of my patients on the back the other day in the hopes any human contact will stop him from killing themselves

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>>72277159
can't imagine they are, I bet with a cushion they'd be max comfy though
thoughts on this? feels a bit boring and that I could do better with $50, not a lot of leg room either

>>72276955
Uh huh uh huh

Was in Australia the other day pretending to be a bent gp, poor lad was absolutely trembling. Next time I'll probably bum him as a joke.

in the gp's office waiting on my appointment

>>72277264
get a barcelona chair

stuck a piece of paper saying 'bender' to one of my patient's back the other day as he was leaving lmao

visiting family in the UK now tbqh

Philosophy is the key to the most deep, enlightening treasure chest one could ever find, the brain.

should I message my ex gf and wish her a happy birthday, lads?

>>72277228
so you enjoy sticking your finger up old men's bums, do you?

patient gp back bender pat me him haha

>>72277316
ye, if you're lucky you get something out of it

>>72277289
sounds expensive
aren't there any cheap furniture places besides ikea?

>>72277316
sure, why the fuck not

>>72277368
no

>>72277368
go to a salvos that has furniture

>>72277339
yeah

>>72277380
>>72277391
hmm

>click on 'tube link from 4chan
>read the comments
>"SHALIDAY BROTHERS"
chreest

sat here alone on /brit/ drinking straight tequila and lamenting on all the memery that my gp anecdote has initiated

are you fat? I'm not fat

>>72277432
What has gone wrong in your life to lead you to this point

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RIP LIZZER

got an small ugly phimotic cock with a bulbous growth hanging off my foreskin lol

>>72277432
it's 1139 m8 bit early for the hard spirits

just left an epic shoutout meme to my bros in the comments a youtube video haha
praise kek ;)

feel sorry for the people of cheltenham having to endure all the irish plebs stinking up their town for a bit

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sweatin' like a nonce in a nursery

>>72277369
>>72277366
I have a gf tho

>>72277466
*sits back on your chaise lounge*

well it all started in 1994, when i first swam up my mother's uterus...

>>72277467
the queen is dead?

>>72277430
lighten up

>>72277525
Perhaps.

>>72277488
nostalgia critic sent me here XD

CHELTENHAM TODAY LADS!!!!!!!!!!!

when will northern england get repairations from france for the harrying of the north???

@72277528
Found the memelord who comments praise keke or whatever it is on youtube videos.
Cringy.

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>I go to the youtube comments expecting serious discussion

*goes to the co-op food youtube page and comments "praise kek" on the video telling you how to make "cheat's low-fat spaghetti bolognese"*

>autismo yank defending PRAISE KEK cancer

as expected, carry on /brit/

>>72277567
Love the ones with pepe in MAGA hats commenting on anime videos and things
runtoid ""humans""

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hLQCA2h8kA

doing a listen and a drink to this

>gf was experiencing some bowel trouble so she went to the doctor and the (male) doctor stuck his finger up her arse

not happy about this state of affairs tbqhwy

>>72277662
sounds like she's a right whore

never known a woman to go to see a male doc

>>72277554
Never I would guess because France didn't exist then.

Stuck my finger up this ugly sluts arsehole lads, smelt like she hasn't wiped in weeks. Feel sorry for the poor sod who has to put his willy anywhere near it

>>72277592
>go to normal youtube video
>first comment is about how they enjoyed the video
>most recent replies to that comment are debating the validity of the holocaust

Looking forward to this aft when the Aussies aren't around.

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fuck I would love to own this chair
cost $500 though

>>72277710
Looks like a piece of shit

>>72277710
Looks like it'll fuck your back/neck right up

>>72277710
yeah? well i'd like to wear a shirt with a zebra print but it costs $50 and i'm not paying that for a bloody t-shirt

>>72277696
that's when I'll be deep in ya mums cunt

>>72277710
Looks runty

off my tits on mandy

>>72277729
>>72277730
>>72277732
>>72277735
jealous you didn't find it yourself
quints get

>>72277710
Have you been to the shop and sat in one, might be uncomfortable as fuck desu.

Beanbags are the superior meme chair

>>72277777

>>72277746
enjoy your crash you normie twatracket

>>72277696
they're utter cancer. very thin-skinned too

>>72276672
just got a new vape lads

Faroese radio sounds well boring

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is this one /brit/ approved?

Not liking Australians is a major Rasheedism

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*blocks your path*

>>72277775
Good molly doesnt have a comedown.

>>72277822
las malvinas son argentinas

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>>72277767
I was the one posting beanbags yesterday
feel like a regular chair now though, guess I've matured

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>>72277789
just got a dry herb atomizer for vaping my weed

Official /brit/ poster ranking:

>Aussies
>Irish
>Yanks
>New Zealanders
>Brits
>assorted foreigners
>leafs

really starting to get bored of not having 55 mage for high alching purposes amigos

fucking state of /brit/

>>72277866
>not on bottom

Feels ok

>>72277866
yeh

in OPPOSITE LAND

lmfao

>>72277839
If anything good MDMA has worse comedowns because it has the most potent effects on your serotonin systems you absolutely plebe

>>72277866
kiwis are pretty solid besides that one twat who pretends to be crazy for attention

redpill me on incubus

>>72277696
Filter them. And Leafs

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>>72277710
Just buy it, why not.

I got one of these from Ikea years ago and it's fucking great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c71RCAyLS1M

what was this guy on and where can i get some?

>>72277904
only people who abuse mandy get comedowns

spread out for rolls and the negative effects are minimal

redpill me on Robert Menzies

>>72277906
not that many of them though

>>72277840
en realidad, las malvinas son britanicos

tenemos todo el poder

>>72277916
Good looking rich lad peddling nihilistic shit to a gullible audience

>>72277839
Thick nigger talking shit.

GTFO you unwelcome third-world piece of shit

>>72277865
can you just put dry basic weed in it?
how much $$?

>>72277916
I used to quite like them in the late 90s and early 00s. Are they still going?

>>72277937
fuck off billionaire

>>72277951
Monarchist conservative runt who kept Australia on cruise control for 20 years while the rest of the world made leaps and bounds forward with new developments both physically in the form of goods and economically

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>Thick nigger talking shit.
>GTFO you unwelcome third-world piece of shit

>pretty drunk but not as drunk as i'd like to be
>take one more sip
>now i'm too drunk and feel sick

fuck this gay earth

>>72277999
are you going to racemix with a white woman and make more beautiful mulatto women like ruth negga?

>>72278012
umm cool with the homophobia sweetie

>>72277959

this. the ethiopian is another fucking annoying twat like that raghead manlet in thailand.

>>72276772
Have fun

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what will happen when queenie is kill?
Will they change literrally every streetname, stamp, anthem, motto?

UK will implode.
Germany will take over power vacuum.

>>72277961
it can do dry ground up weed and wax
it was $55.

>>72278052
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XNaNckHBNA

>>72278046
Racemixing should be criminalized.

>>72278058
he's nowhere near as bad as algerinonce

*Posts anime*

Just had lunch
Don't speak to me

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Any of you lads had experience with one of these?

>>72278067
when i was a kid my biggest concern was coins that had the queens head on them no longer being legal tender so i broke open my piggy bank and gave it to (((suncorp)))

>>72277994
Rude.

Mac n cheese pot noodle lads. What am I in for?

>>72278067
God Save the King is the original version, it was changed for Elizabeth, Victoria etc.

>>72278068
link?

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>there's unironically a nigger called ruth negga

>>72278067
monarchs have died before

>>72278115
Did a small vomit reading this

a gentle breeze
from hushabye mountain
softly
blows
a lullaby
bay

>>72277916
*acoustic guitar plays*
*turntable sound so you know its got a funky hip hop edge to it*

ah yes, the early 2000's

>>72278084

fuck off paki

>>72278073
so are you just not going to have chillun then? last time i saw you you were going on about how even niggers hate niggers

>>72278106
what am I looking at here

>>72278159

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHuGG_FsC20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDOcyT0Y3Xc
white trash scrim before he evolved into school shooter scrim
(stole the top comment)

>>72278171
Used pantsu machine.

LA DA DEE LA DA DAAA LA DA DAAA...
SINGING IN THA SHOWER

>>72278168
you're telling me the balding manlet who loves to post his tinder convos with 4/10 chink whores is better than some random inoffensive ethiopian?

>>72278134
she's really pretty though, and only half nigger

>>72278170
There's zero chance I'm having kids.

>>72278134
all the lefties over here wrote articles about how irish society is racist for calling her ethiopian not irish

shame that [s4s] is only loli pictures now and not ms paint fun

>>72278229
why's that then? not that i'm complaining about your decision to not bring more niggers into the world, but why?

>>72278227
true
wonder what a child with her would look like, could it theoretically have my blonde hair or blue eyes?

>>72278222

rasheed.

>>72278264
I'm not special enough genetically to warrant taking the risk of passing on a genetic burden to a creature I love even prior to conception.

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>>72278106
>500 yen

>>72278276
theoretically it could but the chances are slim I think.

>>72278276
would probably look completely white, ethiopians are black but caucasian

>>72278073
*bums you*

>>72278257
how the mighty have fallen

>>72278303
You seem smart, well educated and rich. What are you doing wrong?

>>72278129
i bought mine in at a local shop
this is like the closest thing i could find https://www.migvapor.com/vaporizers/dry-herb-wax-atomizers/la-queef-510-e-nail-flower-attachment

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>>72278322
>ethiopians are black but caucasian
they're something other than black alright but I don't think they're caucasian

>>72278361
they're basically just darker arabs with a bit of nigger admixture

>>72278354
thanks famalam

>>72278342
I'm not good looking enough to feel secure in my physical endowment to my theoretical son.

>>72278396
You basically have no fucking idea what you're talking about

>>72278303
my paternal grandfather is colourblind, short, socially inept and cripplingly anxious
still happy to inhereted something from him, he's a good guy (and my mother's probably genes balanced me out)

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>nigger

>>72278427
or daughter :)!

>>72278445
true

>>72278427
That doesn't matter when you have money

>>72278472
Nah. Barring obvious outliers, girls just need to be slim and well educated and they'll likely get what they need in life.

Ironically, lookism afflicts men moreso than women.

>>72278457
i've basically inherented everything from my mam. look nothing like my dad (a good thing, my mothers family is better looking)
only thing is I also inherited her shitty eyesight and will probably get her heart problems too

>>72278427
you're a nigger so you already lost the genetic lottery so who cares?

>>72278514
I disagree. Money without looks makes men marks.

Posted with the set
Gun check
Getting bitches wet

Just added to the list of girls names I like lads

"Aranza"

Really nice Basque girls name :)

>>72278556
Lmao too true

>>72278604
heem yourself

>>72278624
you're screaming for a heeming yourself there m8

>>72278556
>nigger
>lost the genetic lottery

What? Black people are clearly the best athletes, Ethiopians obviously for endurance

Is Mcgregor boxing Mayweather or is this an MMA fight?

>>72278680
yeah but there niggers

>>72278554
oh yeah his eyesight is fucked too, his newest prescription makes him look like he's looking out of a fish bowl
similar, look almost identical to my mum but seems I've inherited my dad's mind, interesting synthesis - I look normal but underneath is a steady stream of anxiety, it's actually a lot of fun when I can manage it
hope your heart doesn't explode x

my name is darius but i'm not black

i hate black people for co-opting my name

>>72278698
you're a mong m8

and you can't even distinguish the difference between they're and there lmao

>>72278781
you're mums a mong lmao!!

might trim the pubes

reading about belfast

sounds shit, not going there ever

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BRITBONG

might time travel back to the 90s and write harry potter before jk rowling did

>>72278870
Good lad we don't want any English wankers

>>72278886
me on the right

>>72278886
Degenerate af m8

>>72278886
i'm not upset about this because women are not a commodity and thus nothing has been taken from me or my race

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>>72278777
WEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW


NEENORNEENORNEENORNEENORNEENORNEENOR

WOG ALERT, I REPEAT, WOG ALERT

>>72278777
I'm from Tyrone

>>72278904
i'm not english though, i am welsh aka the one true masterrace

>>72278873
what country is malaysia again?

>>72278976
There's a couple of electricians doing maintenance or whatever on a post near my house and an alarm just went off just while reading this. UNCANNY

made american style biscuits & gravy with coconut flour

fucking rancid

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Does this kill the Anglo?

>>72279072
maybe you are rubbish at cooking?

business idea idea: heat resistant bacteria

>>72279093
no because I've made them before with regular flour and they were delicious

>>72279086

Genuinely wept when I first saw this 2bh

>>72279086
cried desu

>>72279111

thermophiles lad

gagging for fanny

>>72279086
kids cartoon mr bean was better than the live action one

don't @ me

>>72279086
cakes look a bit naff

Can you live comfortably in London on ~£65k?

(non-Brit here)

>>72279176
was just doing the same thing but had a wank and now i'm not bothered

ALL MY LIFE I'VE WANTED A CHEVY

post song titles that are relevant to your life

>>72279086
we had a vhs of mr bean with this episode on it

it used to make me legitimately sad

accidentally dressed very feminine today

what if god was one of us?

>>72279086
swear rowan atkinson looks iranian or something

>>72279259
aaaaahaha you got me
t.dog

>>72279259
he'd probably be an autistic shutin neet loser

Happy Pi Day everyone!!

gonnae get subway for lunch
dubs decides what i get

>>72279259
just a stranger on a bus?

>>72279367
big beef melt you melt

>>72279367

poo sandwich

>>72279366
foy

>>72279086
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7xsGHMdNEA

>these posts
ah yes, yes... very good yes

who do we have in the 1.30 at Cheltenham?

did you know the foreskin turns insideout?
mental

had 3 weetabix instead of 2 today

>>72279436
business idea at 2/1

need a dumb chubby twink neet yank to cuddle

>>72279449

Fuck off, scum. I really hope you die soon.

>>72279449
but how did you fit them inside the bowl?

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>>72279473
>chubby twink

>tfw male girl
>never had a boyfriend
>bigots harass me all the time

Thank god /brit/ is so tolerant and accepts me for who I am.

missed my lecture

so lazy haha

>>72279510

You have a mental sickness.

>>72279473
>chubby twink
i'm sorry what

>>72279449
ugh

bloody people like you is why this country is going to the dogs

>>72279475
rude
>>72279483
big bowl

>>72279530
>>72279488
google it

*Sharts martingly*

>>72279536

Hope you die as soon as possible, you, your parents and your kids if you have kids someday.

do yanks celebrate easter?

>>72279531
:/
>>72279584
:(

need a bf who eats 3 weetabix in one bowl

mad how police can get away with murdering people in custody

could go a vanilla slice

wanked to boys last night but had to finish on a cute niggress

>>72279650
>weetabix

I searched this on google hoping to find some medicine brand.

>tfw you run out of cute niggresses and have to use a tissue

if you don't like me at my worst , you don't deserve me at my best

Had a dream where I robbed a bank, shot a black fella on the way out, escaped and was at my mums having a cup of tea saying I didn't think I'd actually do it.

Playing too much GTA Online lads haha

>make a post in a popular subreddit
>get billions of replies and karma

ah yes very nice

>>72279510
AHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>72279717
hope that black fella didn't take the banter too seriously

do tescos still do those chocolate fudge brownies?
used to live on them when I was a student

is brit dead...?

>>72279674
kill yourself

About to watch Kong Island by myself haha. £4.50 for glass of some cider fucking Jewish shit, I brought some gin and tonic with me though haha.

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I've watched one fucking youtube video on "americans shopping in english supermarkets" and now my suggested list is full of them

>>72279632

I wanted to apologize for this. ---> >>72279584

I've had a bad day and is not your fault.

>>72279820
It's ok :)

>>72279813
>my suggested list

Lel. Mine is full of Nazi and falangists videos, Black girls dancing, UFO videos and Korean ASMR.

>>72279886
>>72279886

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>>72279885
>Degeneracy, the post.