/brit/

might buy a heavy kettlebell

internet cartoon, animated
of the japanese variety

didn't know japan had a cartoon industry

prefer south americans 2bh. bit more fire and gusto than spanish.

give me some good memes lads

IT'S GETTING FASTER, MOVING FASTER NOW

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>>72034996

>>72034992
they churn them out at a hell of a rate
it's quite impressive desu

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>pull on my Clarks Beeswax desert boots, black rip-knee slim jeans, my white oxford shirt and cap it off with my green bomber jacket (size medium) from ASOS
>make sure X-Factor semis are set to record on the Sky+HD box before heading out
>lock the door of my 2-bed Barratt New Build behind me
>hop in the VW Golf 2015 TDI 2.0 purchased on a finance agreement
>the missus gets in the passenger seat
>set off on our second trip to IKEA in 2 weeks
>have a wander round the aisles
>debate with the missus whether or not the MALM set of drawers we have in the lounge is too obviously from IKEA and if we should be shopping at somewhere like Oak Furniture Land these days instead now we can afford it after her promotion to Assistant Staff Call Co-ordinator at the call centre
>buy a new desk lamp and potted cactus near the end to have something to make the trip worth while
>grab a bag of mini Daims as well for when we're watching X-factor later
>drop the missus off home
>boost into town, pushing 40 in the freshly paved streets of my exclusive barrat estate because I know there's no cameras
>head over to Smithy's barbershop
>get my usual mates-rates weekly skin-tight-to-number-2 fade undercut from Smithster himself
>meet up with Calum and Deano in spoons and sink a few jars over the footie
>head to the toilet and take a snap of my new haircut with my dick out and send it to the 19-year-old I've been texting for the last 3 days
>head home in the car
>stop in at Raj Mahal's Curry House en route
>pick up a Jalfrezzi and a Korma with rice, poppadoms, tub of extra sauce, veggie pakora and a special nan
>get home, sit down with the missus to watch the X-Factor with the feet up
>wait for the missus to go to bed
>crank one out to some extremely overproduced Brazzers porn downloaded on my outdated BitTorrent client, addled with malware
>check my phone; 19-year-old has text me back a picture of her chebs
>forward it to Davo
>head upstairs
>slip in beside the missus in our comfy IKEA bed

just farted on my foot

/brit/ is shit

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>>72034996

>The last 10,20 minutes of work where you've finished your work for the day.
>Not enough time to start anything new
>Can't walk out because you'll look like a dick
Shit post o'clock

TELL ME
how to blankpost

>>72035013
shan't

>>72035013
literal art

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>>72034957
>that pic
fuck off belgium

>>72035013
not a word

>>72035046
alt + 0 2 8 f4

*spaffs in your bird*

>>72035046
alt + space + c

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>wakey wakey anon

>>72035075
don't think that works :(

Doing a poo x

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>>72035095

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>>72035130
Punked

>>72035013

The dream.

>looking up a medical issue and the first 30 pages of responses are "lol I have it too"
Why do people do this

>>72035013
someone tell me if this is actually worth reading

>>72035179
lol i do that too

>>72035164
What is the russian Deano? Churka in a Bumer rollin' in dough from selling drugs?

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>>72035162

>>72035184
Easiest way to tell is by looking at the flag
In this case it's not worth the time

>>72035184
it's literal poetry
the op should be very proud of it

>>72035162
me 2nd from left

Starting to wonder why we're bothering to leave the EU. Never gonna be able to compete with the yanks or Chinese on our own.

>>72035162
Will remember to keep these faces in mind when I see a Drumpfkin spouting his mouth off
Utter runts the lot of them

>budget to be revealed by the chancellor

ah yes this definitely affects me as a call centre drone hmm yes better pay attention and care about this

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enjoying some pizza from last night lads

>>72035262
If you're single and work a normal job there's usually nothing in these things for you.

Except when George increased the personal allowance. that was good.

>>72035013
this was worth reading. I wonder if some of our skills are going to waste here. This shows a greater understanding of modern britain than most television programmes or films do. Very impressive

need a poo but the food van is due any minute

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Retirement aged man with no savings, investments, pension or assets demands special treatment from the state. Be amazed at his fight against publicly funded services while using publicly funded services to protest against them. Observe our hero as he is abusive to multiple members of government staff and the unrealistic reactions of the general population. An absolute must watch for the modern champagne socialist labour party supporter. BONUS: Absolutely no social commentary on immigration.

>>72035202

Doesn't really exist here, some of the characteristics would be like...

>Buy a Volvo/BMW SUV on finance, pay it off for years.
>Spend 95-110% of your monthly income each month. Savings are not a concept to you.
>inherited a flat in Moscow
>Jeans and Sweater 24/7.
> Your wife must not have a job, just cook/clean/shop/fuck on demand. Verbally undermine her at every point.

Not sure really, doesn't apply here so much because it's not attainable by most people who don't grow up in Moscow. Chav/Bydlo much easier to define.

>>72035310
Thanks. I'm not the guy who posted it but I am the original creator of the pasta. I also created the original Deano pasta.

>>72035013
>no mention of putting an accumulator on before the footie

>>72035326
'rke

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>>72035162

>>72035350
you are genuinely talented

>>72035162
The virgin stance.

>tfw no french qt

>>72035310

Agreed. Incisive in the same way David Brent was.

any brits here familiar enough with australians to know whether they're generally more like chavs or cockneys?

oh look everyone
he's posted it again
he's posted a picture of stalin!!!
bet this'll get the rorkes angry!! XD
what a nutter!!!

>>72035375
j'meapekke fli flu

>people who pronounce it as "bregg-zid"

>>72035394
Reckon he'll stop?

>>72035013
>Footie
>Spoons

Dropped right there. Unless you specify that it's a game covered on terrestrial television.

>>72035105
where do i find myself a girl who looks like that...WHERE?

>>72035326
as someone who worked for the government, I can say it's incredibly accurate in regards to the rude, self entitled people you deal with.

capitalism taught them that they're a customer who deserves the best but they're really only beggars who can't be choosers. this is why welfarism and consumerism shouldn't mix.

>>72035411
no, its his really funny gimmick

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>oh look everyone
>he's posted it again
>he's posted a picture of stalin!!!
>bet this'll get the rorkes angry!! XD
>what a nutter!!!

>>72035326
reading the plot and it sounds poor
>Daniel gets to know single mother Katie and her two children, Dylan and Daisy, who have left a homeless persons' hostel in London and, with no other affordable accommodation being available in the capital, have moved to Daniel's home town, a place unfamiliar to Katie and her children
ah yes you should really keep all the homeless people in the warm and welcoming city of London, they know the streets much better than they would after a few weeks in a tightly-knit community with a much smaller cost of living

>>72035400
suck me off

Don't like walking around town on my day off, old people aren't too bad but there's lots of scummy buggers swaggering about in the adidas trackies.

Can't wait for one to tell me how he needs 50p for the bus.

>>72035419
Do Wetherspoons bars not have licenses to show love football on Sky sports and stuff? Genuinely didn't know this because I'm an autist.

>>72034957
we, spaniards are orcs anon,

>>72035451
is that Tim?

>>72035441
I've not really been involved with the job centre and all that but it does sound like they sanction a lot of people for bullshit reasons.

Refugees in
Rorkes out

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>a communist talking about having unrealistic self perception
pfffthahaha

>>72035495
me in the bushes

>>72035390
more like chavs

Reckon the communist runt just starts the arguments with himself and people pile in
If you engage with him and willingly choose to send /brit/ into a whirling cesspool for another night you need to give your head a good fucking wobble

>>72035469
I've been asked for money by the same trackie-wearing scumbag on 3 separate occasions in town. And I don't mean a usual beget, the guy tries to spark up conversation then asks for money. Told him no even time yet he persists. I reckon I must give off weak vibes with my virgin walk and virgin head.

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LOOK, im going to KEEP ON posting pictures of STALIN and you fucking RORKES better just DEAL WITH IT or FUCK OFF BACK TO /britpol/ OKAY?
if you insist on sticking around..... I can't be held responsible for your safety..... so RORKES FUCK OFF

>>72035470
It's why spoons is so cheap. They don't pay to play music or anything other than freeview channels, letting them charge less for drinks.

That's not true in all spoons, a few are a bit more like nightclubs and play music, but the vast majority license nothing.

Lloyds pubs are also owned by the spoons group though, and they pay for getting the telly and stuff.

>>72035480
how does it feel that everyone wants your women

doing a read

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Donald_Trump_presidential_campaign_endorsements,_2016

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>more like chavs

>>72035529
sorry i'm done now i won't engage him again x

>>72035555
how does it feel that everyone wants your digits

I didn't even know there was a commie runt in this general

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>>72035448
Don't think it's very funny tbqh

>>72035539
Wish I had their ability to feel no shame.

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CUTE

>>72035553
Interesting knowledge. Also makes me respect spoons more because I despise loud pubs.

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>>72035540

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/britpol/ OUT
/britleftypol/ IN

>>72034957
>french women like english men
:)

PLEASE no more commie shitstorms
I'm asking nicely you don't want to what happens after I've asked nicely sunny jim

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>>72035567
there's more than one of us

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>>72035555
>how does it feel that everyone wants your women
pic related

>>72035469
why do they do this? what's the 50p bus gimmick about

>>72035419
>implying
deanos are usually those lads who call themselves football fans because all the other lads watch it but realistically don't care unless they have a bet on. you know, the ones who change team every 2 seasons because they forgot who they said they supported (usually Tottenham, Arsenal or Liverpool), the ones who see Newcastle are playing and ask "is Shearer still about?" and still think starting Will Griggs On Fire chants are funny

>>72035611
yeah we're not replying to him any more, no need to worry x

>>72035596
looks like her right leg is backwards

>live helicopter footage of the chancellor's car travelling to parliament with the red briefcase inside on the BBC

Rolling news is so shite

i'm an utter nutter sort of chap

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>looks like her right leg is backwards

>>72035583
Exactly. Spoons often have a good atmosphere because it's only got people talking.

>>72035596
AAAHHHHHHHHHH YYYEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS

>>72035618
Drugs and booze, if 5 or 6 people give them 50p that's enough for a couple tins.

>>72035344
I'm genuinely wearing a dark-blue australian merino wool sweater, jeans and black pair of New Balance.

Anyone see that disgraceful performance last night? What was Wenger thinking, putting Walcott on that early?

>>72035625
:)

>>72035567
>Le free market solved everythink xDd

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>>72035611
Tough words sunshine, just try me

>>72035639
Lel. I've just turned on the Tv and wondered WTF is this shit.

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>>looks like her right leg is backwards

>>72035687
me looking on in the background

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*tries to do a deadlift and fails*

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>>72035559
still giggle whenever I see something like this
it's ludicrous

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>single platform
>unstaffed
>no ticket machine
Have I arrived in the Northern Powerhouse?

>>72035706
>lifts with his back
utter nutter

so excited for this new piece of furniture arriving tomorrow

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>still giggle whenever I see something like this
it's ludicrous

>>72035721
same

it's hard to believe. i miss the days of 2015 /pol/ where we joked about it but nobody ever expected it to happen

>>72035722
great pic luv. utter nutter

>>72035743
Fucked that one up there now didn't you mate

>>72035722
Primo spot for an ol' 'cide, especially if you have fast trains passing through.

>>72035723
is it just my hips shooting up too fast?

do you think /brit/ will make us more or less mental than the friendless individuals who came before us and had no platform like this

Who is more likely to be a Radical Centrist; Rasheed or Rorke?

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>>72035679

>>72035679
*my boy lays down a sick beat*
You don't wanna clash what what what what
I will clash you you're just a little boy - you fink you're bad but you're just a little boy
How old are you? You're like 9. What? You can't - what? You don't even know the time
You're jus a your li uh what? You just fink you're...
*kisses teeth* bruv. Listen. You're like 9, you're not even ten yet. Y-what you can't even bench press.

>>72035760
If it's a single platform, it's likely that the train will always stop there

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2iEes9bzbg

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>>72035722
looks comfy

londoners don't recognise it without this in the picture

Lads I look at my available girls on tinder and I think 'yeah they're ok I guess' but it isn't quite enough to get me to be bothered messaging them

>>72035764
less mental. If i had no one to talk to i'd probably have killed myself by now x

>>72035722
>not wanting that
my local train station has no staff, I go straight the way from the arse end of Cheshire to Manchester for free and back nearly every time

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>inspector deano here

>>72035796
wouldn't a dead person be less crazy than an alive person?

>>72035796
But Ed, you already did

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>>72035785
Oh it's incredibly comfy
The local school comes to the station and plants flowers ever few years

>>72035793
same tbqh
never really want to meet up with them desu

>>72035764
less mental but more egotistic

>>72035806
Reported to British Transport Police

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Discuss

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>But Ed, you already did

>>72035767
Ranjeet

>>72035818
tell that guy he looks like a lezzer

will americans ever understand the nuances of deano?

>>72035820
>>72035793
You're using tinder for validation from strangers

Congrats on officially being a female

>>72035845
Shan't

>>72035847
America is a nation founded by Deanos

the goal: only be a neet for 2-3 weeks this time instead of the usual 8 months

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Going underground, liddies. Wish me luck.

>>72034957
I love you too, Netherlands. :3

>>72035853
>t. no matches

Amazon just delivered my pack of 24 condoms

Reckon this should last me a good 20 years

>>72035853
>don't manage to get in touch with anyone I find attractive
>well you're just being an attention whore!

Wouldn't it make me desperate if I went for any possible lead?

>>72035748
/pol/ was more fun back then, defined by their views which were completely outside the public realm
now they're full on "b-but we aren't racist, trump isn't racist!!!". bit dishonest

>>72035855
Too late. I just doxxed him, sent him a text and he's turning round to heem you right now. LOook up!!

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>will americans ever understand the nuances of deano?

>>72035908
>tfw this downy is more attractive than me

just be more confident bro

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>>will americans ever understand the nuances of deano?

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This is the price to pay for living in a town that's 97% White English

detectivedownswanker sure likes his detectivedowns

So lads, can one of you tell me how Naruto's training is coming along?

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>>72035889
>>72035891
Stop using Tinder

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>detectivedowns.jpg

>>72035894
exactly
/pol/ is just the cheerleader squad for the us president now
how boring

>>72035943
no not really mate

>>72035930

where

It's toast tosser

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>no not really mate

>>72035930
I've seen a station like that in Co. Longford.

billy no matches looooooool

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>>72034957
>men want ES

SPURDO SPÄRDEE :D SPEDE BEARD :D

>>72035978
lots of stations in US look like that

>>72035970
The so-called Fylde Coast

>>72035930
what is?

STOP KILLING THE MANDEM

NOBODY touches my milk. I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE

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>>72035984
fuck off retard

>The attack against Samsung smart TVs was developed in cooperation with the United Kingdom's MI5/BTSS. After infestation, Weeping Angel places the target TV in a 'Fake-Off' mode, so that the owner falsely believes the TV is off when it is on. In 'Fake-Off' mode the TV operates as a bug, recording conversations in the room

mummy may is always watching over x

>>72036009
*touches your willy*
heh... didn't count on me bringing a garden hose hey.. too easy..

>>72035951
Hmmm...Interesting

*Purchases some weed and a rolling machine*

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>>72035989
Have to get the railbus

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>>72036007

throw the tories in the sea
let in every refugee

>>72035956
it's the self-deception that's the worst imo
I had a quick peek yesterday and they were discussing those advisers meeting with russian officials, were vehemently denying it
stupid because they've been pro-russia for ages, why can't they just admit it happened, it's ultimately what they want

>>72036019
>tfw have a literal telescreen in my lounge room RIGHT NOW
jesus christ lads

>>72036041
Bit racist

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>>72036034
that's not a railbus
THIS is a railbus

>>72035984
Post arse

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>it's the self-deception that's the worst imo

>>72036042
>No, of course Hitler didn't kill 6 million Jews but he definitely should have

what specific subset of runt buys a tv with a camera attached

>>72036059
>lounge room
ah yes, the room with your lounge in, right?

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What did /brit/ think about your national treasures performance in Kiniro Mosaic Happy Days?

Alice was qt3.14 2.

Had a sad thought of animals who get covered in motor oil and can't get it off :(

>>72036068
That's a guided busway hun xxx

>>72036099
do NOT start it mate

>>72036088
one who camwhores i.e. uses Google+ or Skype (I guess).

Was thinking about getting a tv but i dont want a smart tv, pity everything's being made smart

>>72036080
my favourite was when trump disavowed the alt-right, STILL they worship him like a bastard child that always come crawling back

>>72036088
Techno-Denaux

Have never been a NEET desu. i imagine it feels like being off sick everyday

>>72036108
people here love karen

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>my favourite was when trump disavowed the alt-right, STILL they worship him like a bastard child that always come crawling back

>>72036156
you'd be wrong

Have never worked a day desu. i imagine it feels like being at the centrelink office ever day

>>72036156
Longest I've been a NEET is around 6 months

Absolutely loved every single second of it and still think of it fondly

>>72036178
what is it like then?

building another set of walls around my lounge so I can finally have a lounge room

>>72036180
based

actually going to kill myself tonight

and no, i'm not phimosis lad, turtleneck lad, or that twat who always talks about doing an "ol' cide" and if you think i am any of these mongoloids then i'd ask you to blow me but i'll be dead soon so there would be no point

goodbye and see you all in hell

>>72036180
Sounds dreadful

>>72036140
>tfw tellys are smarter than me

>>72036192
Like feeling out of phase with society and suicidal every day.

>>72036192
Mind numbing bordem and too much time spent in your head loathing yourself for doing nothing while doing nothing to actually achieve anything, not a fan hahaa

>>72036216
*watches you bang your head on the doorframe as you stumble out*
*stifles a snigger*

Am I the only one who enjoys being a NEET?

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>>72036108
I only post Karen because she's Britain's. Shan't ever watch that fucking rubbish though.

covered in motor oil and can't get it off

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mmmm yesss, the world–wide–web of """things""".
in the so-called "pipeline": dildos and butt-plugs to detect when the Gräfenberg-Zone and prostate is reached for a more intense, intimate experience.
somebody in the C.I.A. is literally detecting when ye reach peak-sexual.

>>72036216
you serious mate? why you killing yourself for? Just be more positive about life. Just be yourself.

>>72036269
Keep me posted when you're having fun in 4-14+ years (you wont be)

time to go back to the old tube tv's and start using temple os boyos

>>72036310
Seaside Mark seems happy

wasn't real communism

>>72036281
I saw that vid too

>>72036291
what's the Manx name from? its colour isn't on there

>>72036269
Pretty horrible if you can't get no bennies like me and don't want to go for that jobseeker's allowance. Nice supermarket bread and cheese is a luxury.

True capitalism has never been tried

Never been on /brit/ this early

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>I saw that vid too

>>72036376
It's there isn't it? Ard nieu.

>working from 11am till 7pm
>standing up all them hours
>having to welcome every customer that walks in
>having to say "hello welcome to o2 my name anon, how can I help you?'
>having to deal with most fucking dumb brains on this planet literally.

I JUST WANNA GO HOME AND SMOKE A PIFF

*casts a spell on you*

what's the best linux distro?

>>72036276
>Shan't

yo fookin wot m8? is this even english?

>no-one wants french men or women
that came as a surprise

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>>72036409
>my name anon

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>>72036448
Nah, it's my new word I'm trying out. Hopefully it catches on x

>>72036407
oh yeah
still, it doesn't say the origin of the word

finally got the wifi working
tinder here i come x

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>>72036450
I want a Frenchwoman

Preferably a qt Jewish one

is it gay to wear just a shirt (no undies) to bed?

I honestly never would guess that Liz Truss came from Leeds before I heard her say it. Fah, how some folk drastically change their own accent just to sound more southern.
>>72036448
>Suomi lecturing about english

>>72036493
cute!

>obama commutes bradley manning's sentence from 35 years to getting out in a few weeks

nice precedent he set there

>>72036512
go to bed

>>72036493
have heard somewhere that people who sleep naked have higher probability of homosexuality and bisexuality

>>72036499
From Wikipedia

>Born in Oxford
>Primary school in Scotland
>Secondary school in Leeds
>Canada for a year of school
>Then Oxford uni

Sounds like she lived in Leeds for 5-6 years as a teenager, seems a bit weird to say she's from Leeds

>>72036512
he did it because otherwise he ran the risk of the trump administration doing it, which would humiliate obama

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>have heard somewhere that people who sleep naked have higher probability of homosexuality and bisexuality

>>72036556
>weasel words

post discarded

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>show has a flashback episodes
I DO NOT LIKE THIS GIMMICK AT ALL
these trigger me so much i cant explain it

>>72036603
what the fuck are you talking about you crazy seppo CUNT

whiskey for brekkie

team's winning :-)

Ahhh yes

@72036674
the autism is strong in this one

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Thoughts?

Just kicked over a fresh cup of coffee on my bedside table which I'd really really REALLY been looking forward to

might just give up on the rest of the day now

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Have to go to Salford next week

>>72036731
100% dit post

>>72036745
same thing literally happened to me this morning
spooky

>>72036740
abysmal

>>72036811
same thing happened my mate in the middle of lecture yesterday. was pretty funny.

still don't understand why so many people here dislike reddit

why are charity shops so depressing

>>72036844
reddit

>>72036844
censorship and people saying things purely for karma.

why am i so depressing

unpopular opinion: I enjoy sex (i'm also a girl btw)
upboats to the left lads

>>72036878
because charity cases remind people of charity shops

why am i so charitable

*1 ticks the dds and specs you out*

>>72036853
good boy *chucks you a treat*

lunchtime lull

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>still don't understand why so many people here dislike reddit

>>72036568
North amd West Leeds, where I can tell she lived without checking, is different to the rest of it. Vast population of rich southerners who went there for Yuunaay and never went home.

>>72036689
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weasel_word

yay haha look mummy i posted a fedora man again xDDDD

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>yay haha look mummy i posted a fedora man again xDDDD

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>yay haha look mummy i posted a fedora man again xDDDD

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>tfw temporal lobe epilepsy
>tfw had a seizure about 2 hour ago

ahh yes, another day ruined

>>72036970
i'm not trying to state facts or cite any sources i'm just chiming in on my personal experience you autist

NOT in a mood to be jerked around either, especially not by a fucking Y*NK

>>72037006
hahahah... OI... OI... OI LADS... lads.. get a look at this epileptic spaz hahah

Starting to judge girls mainly on their hair

What is your favourite type of hair?

>>72037033
armpit hair

guess what I had for dinner

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>>72037033
would quite like to do a cummy on the shaved part

>>72037060
cock

>>72037060
kangaroo on a didgeridoo baked in the billabong, on ya bonza mate, absolute meat pie

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>would quite like to do a cummy on the shaved part

gf is the most depressing cunt sometimes

would grab her by the ankles and flip her off a bridge one of these days if she didn't have an absolutely cracking arse

what's the biggest shithole in australia?

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>>72037033
I just like natural wavy/curly hair

Cannot stand brightly dyed hair, or even blonde dyed hair

>>72037126
post her bum

>>72037128
Anything west of Sydney

>>72037128
majority aboriginal country towns

>>72037151
no it's MINE ALL MINE

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>>72037151

>>72037176
POST IT

sucked a dick for lunch

lads what should i watch on youtube? looking for something good x

got my dick sucked for lunch

>>72037203
bit gay lad

>>72037211
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wQxaoy5W7g

>>72037211
that jay bloke from the inbetweeners has a gaming channel, its alri

>>72037221
nah, just trying to cut out carbs innit

>>72037233
no its not

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>that jay bloke from the inbetweeners has a gaming channel, its alri

watching peep show

skyrim will never ever match my nostalgia for oblivion

>>72037271
kys

eating vegan chilli x

oblivion will never ever match my nostalgia for morrowind

eating vegan meat x

>>72037255
quite liked his vice city playthrough

>>72037288
skyrim is the only tes game i've played
didn't like it that much 2bh, only completed it once
mental how popular it still is, especially on pc with the mods

>>72037319
no you didnt

really does my nut in how yanks call scone-like things "biscuits"

really does

>72037339
i WILL deck you

>>72037356
>scone
rhymes with john

>>72037356
hate HATE when ANYONE calls pastries 'sweets'

fruitella, fruit winders, and lolly pops are sweets - NOT PASTREEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS

>>72037356
yeh yanks are all kinds of fucked up.

just like how they sleep fully clothed with shoes on. the fucks that about?