/brit

Post willy:height ratios

i want everyone i don't like to go away and shut up

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who /bopo/ here?

6:6

>>71988847
10:1

>>71988847
0.75

FIVE TO ONE BABY

ONE IN FIVE

NO ONE HERE GETS

OUT ALIVE

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Talked to a workmate who puts his milk in before his cereal AND dips his weetbix by hand

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>>71988829
>/brit

>>71988858
I have a 7.5 inch willy and the same ratio

Are you me?

>using the kettle
>for NO reason the water splashes out the nozzle and splashes my face and chest even though I was pouring it away from myself
no idea what happened there desu

Thinking of becoming a prison officer

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work tomorrow

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i really like lauren lads

>>71988882
nah i have a 7 inch willy im afraid

>>71988847
7:74

>>71988850
would

Americans are unfunny cretinoid germs whose parasitical approach to /brit/ is akin to economic migrants in Europe

All Americans should be shot
All Americans should be shot
All Americans should be shot

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>>71988910
>shorter AND a smaller willy

I'm sure you have a great personality though lad

babestation

1:12 i mean

>>71988941
what if i told you that every american in /brit/ is a female teaboo and avid doctor who and sherlock viewer?

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>>71988954
tfw this is me

>>71988871
that's just dumb

>>71988960
i would le reeee aha XD

BONK! haha thats me slapping my forehead :P

Business idea: Become a comedian and get invited onto QI where I will proceed to dispense facts about the holocaust

>>71988948
need a caty cole gf

>>71988966
feels ok desu

Girls are browsing lads.

any yanks in here?

>>71989000
*sits up straight*
*sucks in my gut*

>>71988985
haha

you'll get blacklisted and treated like a dickhead
then you'll have no job

girl here x

>>71988994
i would say that but literally eveyone else is hitting a 1:3

I tried to buy a candle from the shops, but it was unavelable

Choon lads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfniG-AdSC4

>>71989025
>not making prudent investments with your comedy money and living off dividends for the rest of your life

>>71989029
will you be my gf
tee hee

>>71989032
why? and it's spelled unavailable btw

>>71989031
that would be like a 2 foot long cock lol

>>71989063
Kek

>>71989054
umm idk do you look like david beckham he's like totally my fav x

just had a ripper nap lads

>>71989078
bit more like Wayne Rooney aha

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have to go to sleep now

I think I'm the worst here with a 1:12.5 haha and I'm 5'8 hahahahahHAHAHAHAH

>>71989089
just sucked some runt's dick while he was having a nap, he has no idea the little gay boy hahaha

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>>71989063
sorry I meant 3:1

Hello lads, am I welcome

height:willy ratio is retarded de su

only important statistic is taint+willy length, if you're anything less than 9' then off yourself

>>71989025

Nah lad I'll cleverly cover it up as a part of my comedy gimmick

>>71989127
Absofuckinglutely

>>71989116
sshit i did not mean to quote

>>71989101
ouch
>>71989127
yea just don't be a weapon

>>71989119
that would be like a 20 foot cock

>>71988847
11:1

>>71989116
gosh golly hope that wasn't me

>>71989139
Nigga you gay

>>71989136
Thanks lad <3 How are you?

>>71989140
You mean rude? That I'm not, lad.

>taint

why are aussies always so oblivious they assume you'll know their retarded slang

american tier dumb

>>71989135
alri pewdiepie

>>71989166
It's funny cuz only girls have taints

Really need to feel a gigantic hairy spider traverse alongside the underside of my willy lads

>>71989176
You're retarded mate

>he doesn't know what a taint is

>>71989149
you didn't get the joke

>>71989180
No?

who /4inchtaintmasterrace/ here?

>>71989181
*posts webm of Chris Chan fingering his infected taint hole*

>>71988988
this

got a 6.8 inch cock but only a 2.5 inch taint
should I be worried?

>>71989177
Anon... just why?

just circumcised my yank willy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIyTeWKv6VQ

BIG choon x

why did floorboards used to be so wide but now they're not?

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Hey where did lickdicki go?

>>71989196
What's the word for the area between your balls and your arsehole mate

>>71989262
Gooch

car's door's joint's part gone

>>71989250

You like anime music lad???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JXJAIWKxM4

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me in the pit

>>71989262
its still your ballsack

>>71989257
off licking dicks i reckon

Real Men cry at least once per week.

>>71989269
FOY

>>71989294
Twice if they're lucky

>>71989286
Wow gay

>>71989273
i ent watching that gay sht

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipxCYOB0TIs

>>71989310

your stuff is LEGITIMATELY gay tho

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>taintlets won't even acknowledge the existence of the taint
howling

making homosexuality acceptable is having an unknown effect on our children

https://youtu.be/phvKAm_v5og

psycho killer

qu'est-ce que c'est

http://i.4cdn.org/gif/1488701069289.webm

very hot noises desu

the ol cide

>>71989319
there's nothing wrong with girls who love one another

gay men however should be gassed

>>71989327
fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far better

New batch of gimmicks just reached the focus group stage lads

>>71989331
fuck off
my door doesn't even sound like that

proper choon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwcKwGS7OSQ

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>>71989339
good call I'm dying of thirst
*chucks you a bottle*

>>71989347
I'm gonna need more info, a business idea of sorts, if you want me to invest m80

doing rancid farts

>>71989355
I could knock your head clean off your shoulders with one swipe you mollusk, never reply to me in that tone again

>>71989347
how did taintposting go?

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clean?

thinking about doing a wank but cba to get off the couch and go to my room

drumpf is a phony. drumpf is a fraud
drumpf is NOT my bresident

>>71989394
looks like heaven

>>71989394
ps2
xbox 360
ps4

what a boy

>>71988942
Not really, my looks get me the ladies, would be an incel otherwise

The gender pay gap does NOT exist for the reasons you want it to x

>>71989394
FUCK OFF HOARDER

/brit/ is a minimalist general

>>71989394
Is that a bong mask behind the box?

I really enjoy slapping and grabbing my own arse while wanking

>>71989394
>videogames
>coors light

manchild as fuck

did some stretches and some push ups, gonna do them daily now. see you tomorrow when i dont do them

>>71989394
>four (4) consoles
/brit/ is a PC general

>>71989467

I stretch everyday and have seen no difference in flexibility
must be doing them wrong x

do you have to be a sociopath to relate to jez and mark from peep show? asking for a friend

DUDE WEED LMAO

>>71989455
i have a career and my own place

>>71989490
never could get into PC games. can't have mates over to play them while you drink

>>71989493
you need to hold for at least 30 sec to see any significant difference

>>71989493
hope you're not just doing static stretching matey

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came home from work to find my cat dead in the middle of the road

god fucking dammit he was my only friend

>>71989467
>"some"

>>71989526

I foam roll too

I like to foam roll

>>71989529
You didn't notice how vague i was, hush

Hit some guys cat earlier. I was speeding and it just went flying lol

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>I foam roll too

>I like to foam roll

>>71989541
should pair it with running or swimming

>>71989563

Kek

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>>71989528
i'm sorry anon

>>71989394
jaegermeister is the worst alcohol on the face of the earth

WE GOT FOAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>americans think any zany or lolrandom post deserves a 'dora
their minds cannot comprehend abstract humour

>>71989528
Sorry to hear, im afraid of when my cat is going to die because he's my only friend too and 10 years old already

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Krauts!

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>>71989327

>>71989517
you smoke weed and get drunk and play videogames

you have literally no responsibilities your pay goes towards these things which are what you consider to be fun but are really just mindless banality

you're an embarrassment to yourself and your ancestors

>>71989266
Say hi to Kath for me mate

reminder that this is what Americans do on a regular basis.
http://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1488859087730.webm

>>71989609
reddit

>>71989622
OH FUCK

DELETE THIS SHIT. HOW DO I REPORT YOU

>>71989619
>No responsibilities

I have a job... I have rent, I have utilities, I have plenty of responsibilities.

what i do in my free time is up to me

>>71989647
this is unironically true. Americans are really gay in an ironic way

My roommates and I always threaten each other with "I'm gonna suck your dick" and stuff like that and one time I accidentally touched my friends dick with my nose while pretending to suck him off

>>71989677
bromosexual

>>71989653
shh shh it's alright, just let it happen

She's already seen the thread and she's made a new friend

>>71989683
do Canadians do that too ?

>>71989673
you are like a child except instead of school and homework you have work and bills
you don't have to take care of anything

grow up

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>you smoke weed and get drunk and play videogames
>you have literally no responsibilities your pay goes towards these things which are what you consider to be fun but are really just mindless banality
>you're an embarrassment to yourself and your ancestors

Need to feel a gigantic spider scurrying across my bollocks lads

>>71989673
My mind cannot comprehend your abstract humour

>>71989695
no
even standing close to people makes me uncomfortable.

>>71989722
done it

>that kid who had internet at his house as well as a color printer and a CD-RW drive on his computer and would print out porn and burn games and music and then sell it to other kids

>That kid who dressed up like Neo from The Matrix

>That kid who was into Blink 182, Slipknot, Eminem, Limp Bizkit, Korn, or Marilyn Manson before they became famous and mainstream

>that one kid who pronounced "Rammstein" like it was a Jewish family name

>that one kid who brought hentai manga to school

>those kids who traded and battled pokemon on their big fat grey Gameboys during lunch when other kids their age were smoking cigarettes outside

>that kid who was banned from school for wearing a WWF "Suck It" t-shirt

>that black kid who knew about Newgrounds.com and Dragon Ball Z, also before they were mainstream


>that mallgoth kid who thought that Columbine meant people would fear him or leave him alone, but was instead bullied even more

>that Asian kid who had shelves full of pirated PSX games.

>>71989695
For some weird reason most of the guys in my friends group are bi, but theyre open about it

lol cute cat
https://youtu.be/BdNSwLwl8iQ?t=45s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bckczUi9ZhI

bf just morse coded me this

>>71989723
Theres nothing to get. Im a grown man with worries and thoughts just like you and me

>>71989754
Oh I get it now

>>71989754
>Im a grown man with worries and thoughts just like you and me
lad

>>71989740
t. was 14 in 1997

>that one guy that got arrested for mining bitcoins in the computer lab

>>71989740
time for bed grandad

>>71989740
>that one Thai exchange student who get expelled because he brought cp on a flashdrive and watched it in the computer lab in front of everyone

>>71989775
gotta get up for work soon. to bed i go after i hit this bong desu to knock me out lol

>>71989772
"alri" as the brits say

>>71989830
"bang" as the yanks say

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>>71989847
>"bang" as the yanks say
Wat

>that one asian kid who could solve a rubik's cube in 5 seconds

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>tfw EVERYTHING in town closes at 11 except McDonalds

>>71989830
nigger

>>71989857
it's a joke...

>>71989889
their minds aren' built for abstraction

if you smoke marijuana you are statistically a nigger

>i'm totally NOT a massive manchild
>*rips bong*
>dude i'm so high i'm gotta go to sleep

>attractive and popular normgroid sporadically posts bizarre hysterical rants about life on social media
>mentions having trying to commit suicide (probably put no effort into it)
>has a life a million times better than the normans who orbit them

There are people who supremely well-off and manufacture or magnify problems as if they were a fish in an idyllic aquarium suddenly dying of shock from a slight pH change in the water.

What's sad is that these people in my experience can be quite good at committing suicide after one of these pH changes rather than just remaining in a depressive but comfortable stasis like most depressed people do.

>>71989861
>that one asian kid
>australia
mate you should just say 'that one kid' because it's already bvious you're talking about asians

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Why would a cat smoke a pipe?

>>71989997
cannot imagine being one of the people who has an interest in these dinky newspaper comics like Calvin and Hobbes and Garfuck the Nonce

>>71989861
53 seconds was my best time.

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>>71989985
ahh yes the famed british "banter"

>>71989997
It has been so long since i've seen a garfield strip, major nostalgia

>>71990020
*rips bong*
It's an abstract humour sort of thing

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gaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaaaarfieeeeeeeeeld!

>>71989981
the Weakling Prince
they play the poor downtrodden fool who needs to be treated like a fragile egg as a way to get attention and manipulate everyone.

when they don;t get their way, that passive "woe is me" attitude quickly turns into rage

>>71989889
If I wanted a joke I would have asked for your willy:height ratio

>>71990020
nice reddit opinion you've got there

>>71989985
laboured and frankly sub-par attempt at banter

>>71990032
>>71990056
sorry lads

>>71990020
Calvin and Hobbes is genuinely great as are plenty of old school newspaper comics

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>>71990051
Burn

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>If I wanted a joke I would have asked for your willy:height ratio

>>71989528
RIP kitty

>>71990053
>reddit opinion
holy fuck AHAHAHHAHA I've only ever seen Redditors obsess over newspaper level comics like Calfuck and Hog

hey kid
thing you like?
ITS SHIT

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>Calvin and Hobbes is genuinely great as are plenty of old school newspaper comics

post more hegre-art webms

Wish I could make a cup of tea but unfortunately there are (((no teabags))) and the shops don't open til 8 of clock

I have some peanuts comics from the 50s that are probably worth a ton now

>>71990113
the fuck is wrong with his teeth

>>71990126
>not buying ten thousand teabags

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>>71990109
bit rude

Going to read some old garfield now

>>71990126
Can buy 1000 Lipton bags for $12 lol

>>71990126
tea sucks

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Very little wisdom is passed down anymore in our culture. People gorge themselves on knowledge and facts but can't integrate them into a strong perspective. Wisdom is the ability to identufy significance, to see what is essential and non essential. In an age where everyone talks about quantum physics we have lost touch with our foundations and no longer know what is important.

So of course, being unsatisfied with knowledge and an idea of scientific rationalism being used in places that it simply does not succeed, people become jaded, cynical, critical. "Proof" is asked of things that a healthy human knows the way it knows the glow of a fire on its skin. It becomes reductionist and despairs of finding purpose. Nothing sacred survives this disease, and thus you have entire generations who lack spiritual foundation in life. Antideppressents, other drugs, constantly stimulating entertainment, consumerism, and goals borne of vanity are used to try and fill the void, but eventually you develop a tolerance and can no longer get "high". Further extremities of existential panic ensue.

going to the barber tomorrow lads

gonna go with the hitler youth cut

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Apparently someone in the British government has informed James Skinner that Theresa May wants a CANZUK.

Garfuck

Calfuck and Nogs

Dilbshert

Peanis

redpill me on billy and the cloneasaurus

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>>71990183

I remember seven years ago being a NEET and posting on 4chan every hour of every day

I would wait until the sunrise in the early morning and track its progress through the live sunrise map on Ubuntu

Good times but also not too great

>>71990171
Why's that

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Terrible, i love it

>>71990169
actually asked for the "hitler cut" at a barber because I forgot it was called "hitler youth cut" and they actually told me to fuck off.
it was one of those hipster faggot tattooed up big glasses kinds of places so I didn't care too much

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>>71990198
UNA VELA AJAJAJAJAJAJAJ

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>>71990164
I thought I killed you La Forge when I blew up the Death Star!

>>71990218
ah yes garfuck hits his friend Grodie

>>71990219
didn't mean to type actchually twice, oops

God I hate Garfield

>>71990198
love this scene

love how Apu moves akin to a chicken also

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik0BPKM9WQg

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hmmm

>>71990251
not a word garfuck

you know it's windy rain when you're holding your umbrella at 90 degrees

i unironically love garfield and always have

>>71990171
dont fuck this up cuckdeau i want to smoke weed on the beach in australia

>>71990248
Do you also hate Mondays?

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That damn cat!

i don't think you realize that garfield and others are supposed to be cheesy

>>71990248
>>71990282
garfuck

>>71990286
Tuesdays too

>>71990291
Haha that crazy Garfield

Garfield does not know Christ.

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Getting too real Garfield

>>71990246
you are simply not intelligent enough to appreciate the subtleties of Garfield.
in three panels Jim Davis has utterly dissected the American public who prefer to remain ignorant of the horrors done around them, instead keeping the placid smile of the simple mind glazed across their faces.
not even the lone renegade can awaken them

autismo yank is here

>>71990291
mate you should post these on s4s desu

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>>71990322

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>>71990207
It would have to be agreed to by laterally between all 4 countries, but presumably because the UK has disengaged itself from a long-time politico-economic union, and fears swimming alone again in ominous waters.

Like a stray dolphin in the South Atlantic.

Also, the UK alone looks very small on a map. That sort of bruises the ego.

>>71990322
>>71990341
Not seeing it at all

>>71990284
australia will probably be the last anglo country to legalise weed

we're already the only ones that havent legalised gay marriage

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>>71990341
garfuck is a fat fuck fascist

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GAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEILDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!

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>>71990352
Not arsed, go for it yourself though

hmmmm

>>71990392
He is American after all

got a limited slip dif

Simon and Garfuck

>>71990381
its not legal here either doesnt stop me

>auscucks

>>71989032
Plenty of other stuff you can stick up your arse.

>>71990414
why?

cide

>>71990414
same

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Wonder what 'field can do with his lightning lips

might do an ol' 'cide

my runt neighbours are blastic nickelback and lily allen

might chuck a grenade over the fence

>>71990469
should probably do a 'cide

>>71988921
My brother

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>>71990476
gonna listen to sme lily allen now, ta

>>71990452
An Instant Classic and I Want to Fuck the Cat

>>71990487
BRRRAAAAAAAPPPT

>>71990480
garfuck

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morning benders

>>71990476
i've enjoyed nickelback since they released silver side up

don't see why they get so much hate desu

>>71990501
BRRRAAAAAAAPPPT

>>71990171
>CANZUK
I don't like the way UK is at the end of that acronym. It should be UKANZCA or UKACANZ.

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>brit meetup

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https://mousebelly.bandcamp.com/album/the-private-life-of-the-rabbit

she makes songs now

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>i will never fly through monaco in a mclaren mp4/4 with one hand on the wheel and the other hand on the shifter

i'm so fat and hairy and ugly

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>>71990469
do u like Dilbert?

>>71990506
I heard they're called Nickelback because everyone who went to see them asked for their nickel back.

>>71990523
CUKOLD (Canada, the UK, Oceania and Likeminded Dominions)

let the bodies hit the floor
let the bodies hit the floor
let the bodies hit the floor
let the bodies hit the floor

>>71990542
GOOD post

ONE (NOTHING WRONG WITH ME)

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Yet another relate able Garfield strip for the lads

One - Nothing wrong with me
Two - Nothing wrong with me
Three - Nothing wrong with me
Four - Nothing wrong with me

>>71990553
*catches the bodies*
hmpf! as if I'd allow such a flagrant act of disrespect!

five

what's your plans for the next 24 hours lads?

>listen to lily allen (the fear atm)
>watch a movie on sky
>wake up at like 5pm
>call the gf
>watch villa lose
>do coursework
>watch some 'etflix
>sleep

>>71990570
We'd all like to write our own reviews.

how old are you when you start primary school?

here we start at 6 but i've heard it's 7 in some places

>>71990589
more /brit/

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DILBERT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mxitw5DjwE

>>71990589
>finish downloading lily allen so i can listen to her
>go to sleep
>wake up
>exercise and have a wank

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g' build?

Which song has more artistic merit:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsVnUpl2IKQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drEGR-H92EU

today i realized slightly chubby average/short girls with big boobs turn me on

this thicc girl at work has a really cute face and today she wore a tight fitting tank top and wew

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One for the huskier men here (the americans)

>>71990602
think it's 4 or 5 here

gotta start em young on the cultural marxist propaganda

wouldnt want to risk them growing up to be anything other than a shabbos goy

>>71990589
>have a wank fairly imminently
>decide whether to go to lectures/tutorials
>go or not go to lectures/tutorials
>play some metal gear solid
>try not to eat too many biscuits, cookies, chocolate and sweets

>>71990589
fall back asleep
read some 'Of Human Bondage'
kraut duolingo
open my kraut textbook for some proper grammar study
feel sorry for myself
lie in bed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPGPsgDTW6k

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ahahaha

>>71990608
these comics make everything about life seem so bleak

i feel as though there's no place for me here, i could never have a job and not want to kill myself or even remotely fit in

>>71990615
that depends on whether you installed gentoo

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>>71990647
>tfw you're hitler with less balls

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>>71990648

>>71990648
i always wanted a pet turtle but my parents wouldnt let me have one

>>71990648
R O F L M A O

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>hayd has a gf

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>>71990624
>Toby Keith

>>71990651
me neither
at least not the "traditional" office job
its inhuman
even the fact that you can fuck around all day doesn't make it better

>>71990603

thats implied sweetie xx

>>71990609

why download

just use spotify web app and ublock

>>71990632

played revengeance earlier desu

>>71990642

t. toni kroos

>>71990662
me on the bog wondering what I ate that could end like this

>>71990589
>do some bits and bobs
>get absolutely fucked
>go to bed
>wake up
>have breakfast
>get absolutely fucked again
>absolutely fuck someone
>have lunch
>50/50 fuck/get fucked
>a la salon
>have a punt
>have dinner
>have a think

poo comes into this somewhere, not sure where

>>71990671
fuck off reddit nigger

>>71990699
Can put it on me phone in a mo, nice listening to lily allen after so long

>>71990647
I have always said that if Great Britain were defeated in war I hoped we should find a Hitler to lead us back to our rightful position among the nations. I am sorry, however, that he has not been mellowed by the great success that has attended him. The whole world would rejoice to see the Hitler of peace and tolerance, and nothing would adorn his name in world history so much as acts of magnanimity and of mercy and of pity to the forlorn and friendless, to the weak and poor. … Let this great man search his own heart and conscience before he accuses anyone of being a warmonger.

>>71990704
During the >fuck/get fucked part

>>71990733
cant pop out a shite in public mate what are you on

>>71990730
Any Hitler comes near my country I swear I'll do time.

>>71990756
You seem like a social pooer
The kinda guy that talks with the lad in the next stall over

>>71990795
cant be getting absolutely fucked in public toilets mate come on

jizz

>>71990850
Oh grow up.

>>71990850
We'd all like to write our own reviews.

>>71990589

>send a few emails and make a rough site layout.
>go to the bar and do my best to only drink water
>go to my room and watch movies until I fall asleep
>wake up at 6
>do some bodyweight exercises and go for a run.
>get my png drivers license.
>go to work and bully people to make myself feel better.
>go back to the apartment and work on some documents.

>>71990888
grim

>>71990589
fuck shit and chew bubblegum

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>>71990589
>practice some drawing while shitposting so I get nothing actually done
>after a while I'll play a videogame maybe
>waste time on twitter or something
>try fixing my phone
>research a new phone to get when I can't fix it
Currently got the Galaxy S2, it's rather old though. Not sure what to get.

>>71990909
Yeah it is, but look at those digits.

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>>71990930
Try a BlackBerry. Bold. The timeless classic that inspired it all...

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>>71990589
work

>>71990888
A lot like my day:
>send a few posts on /brit/ and make a rough poo
>go to the /brit/ and do my best to only read british posts (or at least posts from the commonwealth of nations)
>go to my post and watch (You)s until I fall asleep
>wake up at 6
>do some bathroom exercises and go for a poo
>get my .png imageposting license.
>go to /r9k/ and bully people to make myself feel better.
>go back to the /brit/ and work on some documents.