/brit/

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cara

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>>71396860

*lobs your bike in the sea and gets back in my car*

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Anim

Listen to Billy Talent and playing frozen throne

>>71396911
Wait i'm confused whose car does that make it then

popped a tyre, wheelie?
walkgods don't need to deal with that because

very drepressed
everything is going wrong

>it's a "dad starts rambling on about how the universe doesn't exist" episode

oh dear

would only cycle in London. provincial drivers are retarded and suicidal, roads are too wide and traffic is too fast

also London is just pleasant in general

>spends 10000 quid on a frame, tyres, and a simple gear and chain system
Ah yes

*rolls coal on every cyclist I pass*
*gives them lung cancer*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdDxjge5hmY

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>His city was not a primary objective in Operation Sealion
Howling

>go into cafe
>they don't have horlicks, bovril, or hot toddy in addition to tea, coffee and hot chocolate

so called """""capitalism"""""

>>71396932
*delivers a career finishing 2-footed slide tackle just outside the penalty box despite holding comfortable 3-0 lead*

>>71396898
that's just, like, your opinion man
imo thats the face of a 10

>he does the virigin cycle

If I ever get into power pakis and cyclists will be deported

>>71396860
>Specialized

FOY

>b-b-but i have a helmet
walkgods don't NEED helmets

>buy bike
>gets stolen
ah yes very impressive

going for a spliff. back in 20 mins or so.

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What's giving oral sex to a woman like, /brit/?

>>71396980
they wouldn't even DARE try and land in Southend because we'd send them packing no qualms

motorbike > any other mode of transport

greta gerwig is kind of big a girl but i still would

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Well lads?

>>71396983
>hot toddy
alri grandma at christmas

>>71397000
*votes for you*

>in scandinavia/holland/belgium etc they go everywhere on bicycles cause they're just kind of nice people

yeah try going anywhere here on a fucking bicycle haha!!!

How can I destroy my local newspaper lads? They haven't done anything wrong really but I've decided I want to bring them down, Peter Thiel style.

>using a car, motorbike or pedal bike

haha
just put some good shoes on and walk everywhere

>wearing a helmet
spotted the nonce

>>71396948
What kind of cuck drives in London?

"Banter" is just another word for bullying. Stop bullying. Before its too late.

>>71397022
salty coins

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>>71397009
no but it's recommended by most medical professionals

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>You bike? Don't you own a car?

>>71397032
the taxi driver

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>>71396968


>all those testosterone-less runts


HOWLING

>>71397045
Fantastic post

>>71397032
are they allowed to cycle there? if yes the taxi if not the cyclist

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successfully started another heated debate

>>71397032
>starts indicating after his front wheels are literally in the middle of the junction
ah yes cabbies very impressive

>>71396936
Bet my life is worse than yours haha

>>71397032
cyclist, taxi was in front and indicating. Shame he didn't go under the wheel desu.

>>71397040
All well known betas

chance would be a fine thing

a fine thing indeed

>>71397070
that it?

>>71397032
Cyclist. Driver clearly indicated in good time, the cyclist could easily have stopped.

>>71397032
car's fault Tbh because he only started indicating at the last second and clearly didn't check his mirrors

>>71396860
What is it that makes them so angry?

I can almost picture their disgustingly fat frames trying to push themselves out of their cars with all of their strength and onto two feet to give a cyclist a piece of their mind, screaming obscenities at the top of their lungs between their heavy breathing as their neck flabs vibrates wildly in all directions, disgusting creatures.

>>71397032
Taxi was indicating, cyclecucks think they are above the law then play the victim when they fuck up - as per usual.

wish i could bike to work every day but my commute is 40 miles

>>71397032
taxi obv.
he can indicate but can't turn until it's safe . cyclist doesn't need to give way

>>71397086
>testosterone-less runts
you're the one who sits on your fat arse all day driving around sat on a big sofa

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Do brits live in some kind of parallel universe where you can't use both a bike for small travels and a car to go further away

>>71397032
cyclist has priority regardless of when the taxi indicated

easily taxi's fault

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>Hang on, you don't drive? You just ride your bike everywhere?

>Ermmmmm sorry, I don't think you're suitable to be our housemate.

>>71397154
yes

>>71397032

Cyclist, as fucking always

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>I love our little weekend bike rides, anon. :3 so glad you're not a fat smelly cager like my last bf, he was so angry all the time for no reason!!!

>>71397077
Shut up you vile bint. If it werent for nepotism youd be working the til in tesco

>>71397128
>Taxi was indicating
at the very last second, far too late

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>cycle to a date with a qt
>turn up soaking wet because it's a warm evening
>she's driven wild by my carefree, soaking wet attitude

>>71397112
>started indicating at the last second
No he didn't, you can't see too clearly because your view is obstructed by the other cyclists but the taxi is indicating.

been reading a lot of "what turns women on in bed" threads on reddit. futile perhaps but it never hurts to be prepared ya know?

>>71397154
but then there'd be less to moan and argue about

>>71397108
yep

love using the metro and the bus sometimes

>walk to work!? who do you think I am, someone in shape
*grabs the old bikearoo which does all the work for me because im obese*

Only Deanos drive.

>>71397097
maybe but it's all about how you percieve it innit

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>go on a cycle date with the gf
>sniff her smelly sweaty arse after it

taking a shit lads

*points to helmet*
*reads out reg number in an angry voice*

>>71397233
>the metro

or as they call it in gay par-e:

le métro

>>71397177
>cyclist has priority
>to undertake at a junction
spastic

>>71397148


I lift in a gym and squat 4 plates, not wear faggot lycra like a ballerina and shit the roads up

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>He doesn't own his own home
>He's a rent cuck

imagine living in some provincial shithole town full of ugly A-roads where you can't cycle at all

yank-tier

>riding a bike
>not running
Alri fatboy

carfats getting OBLITERATED

just done a cheeky 'chive 'earch for that soaking seductor post made a while ago and christ alive

which one of you autistic paddies has done this

http://desuarchive.org/int/search/text/soaking%20wet/page/2/

why did parliament ban segways and hoverboards

once went cycling with the ex gf and ended up getting my willy sucked in a field on a lovely summer afternoon
MUST say it was QUITE a nice day

>>71396980
is canterbury just in?

>>71397270
what? that's common knowledge. you can't turn before you've checked that it's safe

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>tfw i actually want to be a member of our special forces

Life is suffering

>>71397218
Also the fact cyclists only see what they want to see and think they own the road

>>71397281
feels good. I could literally run over a cyclist and not be at fault on my non-cyclist roads

>>71397224
try putting your willy in her fanny

girls like that

>>71397269
love looking at the same familiar faces too
dont look at my phone since i have nothing to look at so i look at the people
looking at the nonces who are looking at women and when they see me looking at them they try to maintain eye contact then look away

>>71397218
from 0:02 onwards you can clearly see the taxi is not indicating

don't ever breathe another word in my direction you odious little skidmark of a man

>I squat 4pl8s
>I don't have the cardio to cycle
so this... is the power of powerlifting
you should be able to do both you fat fuck

>>71397247
Perceive yours better then. You can take that psychology session for free, but all subsequent sessions will be £50p/h xx

>>71397299
because the british public are dumb and cannot be trusted to make sane and logical decisions regarding their own personal safety, thus the government must intervene

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>What's that Anon, you don't ride a bike?

>Oh dear haha! Well meet my new boyfriend, Chad.

>>71397342
CARDIO

KILLS

GAINS

>>71397312
looks it
I still am convinced we probably know eachother btw

all non-cyclists should be killed

pedestrians too

recession

supper time for the vanners dude

>>71397363
me on the left

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>cycling
>driving
>walking
>he doesn't own a mobility scooter

cretins

Going to be living with my parents for until I am 45 because I'm too smart to fall for the mortgaged Jew

cyclists shouldn't obey the rules of the road

they should have good situational awareness and common sense judgement

for example if you are at a crossroads and all the lights are red for pedestrian crossing it is 100% acceptable to carry on cycling through the red

also merging from road/pavement at will to maintain speed is totally acceptable

>>71397412
foy

cyclists think they are hard until you pass them super close on purpose and teach them who's the fucking boss hahahah

>>71397274
FOB

>>71397354
yeah im trying lad, im not going to off myself or anything. Just very unhappy at uni tee bee aitch

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>>71397363
Holy mother of legs

>>71397315
>indicate in good time
>slow down
>cyclist in opposite blind spot
>rides into the side of you as you start to turn
the cyclist needs to use his fucking noggin and not ride straight through a busy junction for starters

la faucheuse est passée
et les frères sont partis
la faucheuse dans le ciel frère c'est quand les thugs prient

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPFoosgKOes

>>71397428
>cyclists shouldn't obey the rules of the road

Then they should fuck off out of it.

>doesnt have a personal chauffeur
oh right, forgot this was the general for the working class

>>71397296

He posts that in every /eire/ thread the spanner

>>71397274
currently in a bidding war on a place I REALLY fucking want to buy

its not even a particularly nice house in itself (will probably need to spend quite a few shekels to bring it up to date), but its in a location I really want to live in, so am willing to take it on

bicycling causes erectile dysfunction and everyone hates you

if you like being impotent and despised by everyone then go ride a bicycle

>>71397416
good lad
plan on inheriting my parents house because I hate put money into other people's bank accounts

why am i even alive?

really what's the point in being a virgin

vast majority of the people who drive to work at my place are overweight

>>71397485
>if you like being impotent and despised by everyone then go ride a bicycle
or, alternatively, be american

>>71397497
You are being kept pure because god has plans for you.

>>71397465
I go where I please cagey

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>why yes I do drive a car, I can fit plenty of kiddies in the boot

>>71397179
probably for the best considering you'd be their personal chauffeur otherwise

>>71397341
Yes he is.
In any case, he was positioned well to the left and slowing down. Exercising your braincell, you should deduce that he is turning

>ride bike
>get testicular cancer
screaming
serves the sissy twats right

>>71397497
Soon you'll be able to cast the finest arcanaries

>>71397449
cyclist did nothing wrong

taxi runt has already seen one cyclist drive past him, it's clearly negligence not to make sure it's safe

fuck off cabbie scum hope Uber puts you all out of business

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bed time in 15 minutes

work tomorrow

I run to work

don't understand how i made it through the school system without anyone ever suggesting i might be autistic

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This enrages and confuses the cager

if men are untermenschs today its because they drive a car and accept getting stuck in traffic and also because they watch tv while eating packaged food

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>work tomorrow

>>71397504
umm i get big throbbing erections so try again sweetie x

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>work tomorrow

>>71397359
As proven by they behaviour of cyclists

anyone else find the idea of sex insane?

i regard it as something other people do as an act/fiction, but not something that actually happens

So glad I don't have bed time and can spend the late hours of the night contemplating my miserable life

lads, every road in the netherlands has a segregated cycle lane

THAT is what I call a 1st world country

>>71397386
>I still am convinced
kek dunno lad this is my first post tonight, maybe you were talking to another anon. do you go to the uni?

>>71397596


What do you work as?

>>71397579
>eating packaged food

That term is retarded like do you hold all that shit in your bare hands what's happening

>>71397565
i came out of it just as the fad for diagnosing autism started. would definitely have raised suspicions nowadays

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS5qhnc1yMk

>>71397529
no he isn't. You can clearly see it begin to flash at 0:05

people aren't psychic, that's what indicators are for you fucking retard

Had a curry 9 hours ago and I still smell of it.

>>71397615
not really

millions of people all over the world have having sex right at the second

>>71397621
sex worker

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>uni tomorrow

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LADS

http://www.scotsman.com/news/politics/william-hill-first-bookies-to-back-yes-vote-for-indyref2-1-4370963

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work tomorrow

>>71397596
https://www.sokanu.com/should-i-quit-my-job/quiz/

>>71397615
no sex feels good

it's like masturbating but better because you can snuggle and eat her out and do lots of different things
you're just inexperienced, if you actually did it you'd feel different

bicycles are literally children's toys

>>71397631
conditioned food then?

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work tomorrow

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>nothing tomorrow

>>71397620
nah i think we had a conversation before about faketaxi being filmed in canterbury (unless theres more than two people from here on /brit/)
I go to another uni, but im from canterbury

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work tomorrow

>>71397671
hmm

are we sure about this whole brexit thing?

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>ride downtown
>cager cuck tries to kill me
>catch him at a red light
>mfw I do thousands of dollars worth of damage to his sports car by keying it and smashing the side mirrors off

Dumb cagers, when will they learn? Also because the traffic is so bad I've escaped from police trying to give me tickets twice. Bikes are the masterrace

>>71397641
He's indicating at 3 seconds in, then presumably knocks it off accidentally for a second. I definitely see him indicating before 5 seconds into the video

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Why do cyclists get upset when I nudge them with my front bumper quite suddenly?

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Don't work morrow lads

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work tomorrow

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>work tomorrow after a week off
Don't really care desu because I just go on worksafe websites all day and occasionally talk about sports with normies in the kitchen.

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>no work tomorrow

>>71397671
not surprised. strength of the pound was the only thing holding us together

>>71397649
but that's fucking ridiculous

HOW

How the fuck do people have sex? It's just mental that two people can like each other so much and be so comfortable around each other that they can get naked and have sex.

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>assessment due in tomorrow
>and the day after
>4 assessments due in the day after that
might just kill myself

>>71397695
Is this shopped?

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>>71397689
>being a bowcat

bruv...

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fuck bikes

always cringe when sad-sacks post song lyrics

>>71397727
want to do this one day

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post lads who look like they have phenomenal banter

>>71397739
You're STILL on about that? expected better from you cagers.

>>71397671


Ah yes, the same William Hill who called Trump and Brexit.


Oh wait.

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>work tomorrow

JUST KIDDING
FEDERAL HOLIDAY
JAMMIES ALLLL DAY

i don't know what work feels like

>>71397692
*processed

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>>71397775
>tfw no brown gf

>>71397755
>people actually consider anime an art form
hahahahahaha

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>lecture at 2pm tomorrow

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>work tomorrow

>>71397796
It's almost like they have a vested interest in calculating odds as accurately as possible.

>>71397808
when you do something interesting it's alri
when you do something shite only to get by its hell

literally nobody checks your ticket on rail replacement buses

just letting you lads know since you're alright

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>feel really ill
>too nervous to call in sick

didn't even realise it was sunday, thought it was midweek or something cos ive been studying solidly for the whole weekend
now i have another week

Do people really have sex? I thought it was a lie propagated by the media.

>two 3000 word essays due tomorrow
>another one due on 1st of march
>two more due by the 12th
JUST

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>national holiday tomorrow

>>71397768
you can have sex with your shirt on and so can she
all that really needs to come off are the pants

>>71397871
Don't disappoint Mr. Goldstein

>>71397796
They called indyref 1

>>71397861


It's almost as if they didn't realise the polls were cucked

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>>71397870
follow your dreams

>>71397889
I am also dubious

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>>71397871
>want to book time off
>too nervous to speak to manager

>>71397671
Build a fucking wall and make the Jocks pay for it.

>>71397775

define the bunda genes

went a bit mad at the shop today and bought fruit loops

>>71397785
>not liking the sensation of a woman moaning and pushing your face further into her sopping pussy
gay detected

>>71397892
ok but still

how do you get someone to like you and get into a bedroom

If you're neet and have a gf and things to do your life is heaven. If you're neet and have no one it's hell.

Peep show is excellent

Why are anglos the funniest race on earth?

>>71397891
its called a bank holiday

hello anon? your boss here, mr levy
could you work extra tomorrow? need to buy me a new boat for the summer
thanks

>>71397615

yeah. i have major problems with people touching me and getting in my personal space, don't see how i could ever have sex.

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the goal in life is to live in America

The fuck's happening the 20th lads

>>71397969
your hell is another person's heaven

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>work tomorrow

>on with assistant manager who always makes borderline racist paki jokes about me to my face

>>71397972
Shame the ending was an anticlimax

>>71398010
yes indeed

>>71397957
what the hell was that utter mong thinking

>>71398019
Report him, Monica

>>71398019
alri tariq

>>71397958
mad ting

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ah yes i do want to marry and spend 40+ years with one of these creatures

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angry cagers

>>71398010
>Living in a shitty wooden yank house

Literally why?

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There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.

>>71398046
what do you expect from cagers

>>71398019
Sounds like a great lad

>>71396865
this 2bh

completely bollock naked in bed with a rock hard cock

dm me for pics

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>>71398007

the goal in life is to live in Armenia

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>mfw i get a graduate job after years of being neet without ever doing uni
>mfw its nice and there are people actually stuck in shite jobs here after uni

>>71397870
thought i had benefitted from this on thursday but still had to get the usual return since i had to get on the next train to go further ahead and i'd be coming back

think think of a scenario that it could make free

>>71397965
it's not hard mate you literally just spend time with a girl who finds you attractive and it will pretty much happen on its own

you can tell if she thinks you're attractive by her speech and her body language but it's not something you have to be actively thinking about you'll passively pickup on it

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>>71398092
kill urself my man

>>71398010


Already did, doesn't beat home.

how is she even alive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksXruxX2zBo

>>71398065
I've no interest in ever getting married or having a family

I would like a nice gf to through life with thoguh

But I can't even get that, being a KHV. Guess I'm trapped and doomed to suffer

>>71398020
i barely remember anything about the last season

jeremy did a gay?

>>71398065
would settle for a dumb gf if she was empathetic, loyal and a good mother

>>71397775
can you even shag an arse this big

my knob wouldn't fit

>>71398066
that doesn't even make sense idiot

>>71398010
Would rather live in Canada or NZ desu, but I'm not moving.

the goal in life is to live in a council flat in tower hamlets

BIG game for /sp/ coming up in the cup now

>>71398113

what job

>>71398124
>>71398092
please bum me in di arse x

>>71398164
1 is nice

Feminist.
Gin enthusiast.
Lover of dogs and pizza.
dont be boring

>>71398117
>literally just spend time with a girl who finds you attractive
I think you're severely overestimating my social skills and attractiveness

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I am in that temper that if I were under water I would scarcely kick to come to the top.

>>71398164
>the one ugly mate girls hang with to make themselves appear more attractive.

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>>71398124

>>71398092
pics

>>71398117
>just spend time with a girl who finds you attractive

That's the part I've always struggled with

dumb slag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7bEW8bXp64

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>cycling down london cycle superhighway
>angry cagers reduced to 1 lane and 5 miles of traffic

>speeding past each and every one of them

screamING !!!!!!

SOMEONE PUT THEIR UNCUT BRITISH COCK UP MY ARSEHOLE

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>>71398203

>>71398208
must have seen hundreds of girls on tinder with that exact bio
most of them don't even actually like gin presumably

>>71398217
quite a poetic way of phrasing this

Been playing Akinator for the past hour

this bastard knows everything

>>71398188
don't wanna be made fun of x

>>71398255
we've moved on from that 2bh

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Would love to drown Theryn's vag with my seed

>>71398275
see if he can get anon

>>71398262
>most of them don't even actually like gin
every girl loves gin and or wine

fool ya by chief keef is a masterpiece

imagine a timeline where bradley wiggins became a deliveroo guy

>>71398277

will assume it's nongraduate if you're too embarrassed to say

Hi boys

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where do I find a cyclefu gf

>>71398256
k

>>71398156
Jez got sucked off by superhans in the first series

>Gavin McInnes
suspenders twat

>>71397597
*Mum walks in on me playing FIFA on the Xbox and enjoying a cheeky spliff*

Tim, that's really smelly. I wish you wouldn't do that in my house! I'm just going down to Waitrose to get dinner - what would you like?

*Presses pause on Xbox, docks out spliff and starts rapping*

Listen up mandem, I'll tell ya what I need,
Three bad bitches, three pounds of weed,
Now when you come in here remember to knock,
You disrupted my game and gave me quite a shock.

I'll have lasagne and chocolate pudding though please. Thanks mummy. Love you.

*Door closes, muffling the soft sobbing of the crestfallen mother*

>>71398341
thats fine

>>71398362

I find him funny

>>71398208
>enthusiast
anyone with this word in their bio for anything is a guaranteed runt

>>71398257
nice

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>>71397825

>>71398213
you don't need social skills to have sex that's only for autistic PUAs who think little mind games can get them laid

>>71398244
work on your appearance
eat right and lift weights and do cardio

get out of the bathroom dad i need a poo

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angry cagers

>>71398361
that was just drugged up banter

and I legitimately don't remember that

>>71398275
can't get Graham Hicks

>>71398425
>you don't need social skills to have sex that's only for autistic PUAs who think little mind games can get them laid

well whatever it is you need, i don't have it

>>71398422
all shit

>>71398422
I've seen much better stuff on deviantart

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>>71397825
>>71398479

>>71398452
haha alri one sec x

>>71398452
you should lick his piss off the toilet rim

Armpits desu

*rolls coal as I speed past bikecucks*
*gives them lung cancer*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdDxjge5hmY

>>71398503
grim

>>71398478
publin

>>71398471
that's okay lad there's plenty of people out there men and women both who aren't having sex
you're no alone in your involuntary celibacy

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>>71398492

>ya boy dave is on akinator
I'm actually amazed

>work in the morning
>not an issue per se cause my job isn't exactly one that requires much thought
>only concern I have is avoiding the cops while I drive 150mph over the speed limit and still half drunk getting to said job

been doing it successfully for 10 years at this stage so probably not really a concern anymore

>>71398353
>pie plate still on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbQN0JnzWkA

dunno lads I reckon this vaporwave thing might be alright

new

>>71398633
>>71398633
>>71398633
>>71398633
>>71398633

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>>71398499

>>71397825
creasing at this post

>>71398625
>cops
FOY

>>71398516

Typical Trump supporter desu