/brit/

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cara

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dormer

one pretzel dog (500ish calories)
one cheeseburger with chips and a fritz orange (1000ish calories)
one liter whole milk (660 calories)
one banana (105 calories)
one chocolate milk (420 calories)
one serving of noodles with chicken in peanut sauce (900 calories)
four tuc crackers with jam (120 i guess?)

so that's about 3705 calories for the day lads

how did you do?

STOMACH?
SHOULDERS?

>>71394575
shockingly terrible tits

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gf

>>71394589
Easy there fatty save some for the starving children

>>71394589
recipe for peanut sauce?

>>71394548
oh my are boy brings it home xDDDDD XDD
based fucking caralad what would we do without you? <33333
mwah keep doing your think baby boy rawr xD xDD

Gimmick idea: Come up with a new word for wanking and use it exclusively for the next 3 days

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>work in 11 hours

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2017/feb/19/australia-new-normal-47c-climate-change

>47C

fuck moving to australia.

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gf sent me this

>>71394623
good post

>>71394644
autism

>>71394589
>one litre whole milk (660 calories)
>one chocolate milk (420 calories)
RUNTUS MAXIMUS

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>>71394529

I really want a Muslim gf

but yeah, don't know any

>>71394589
Why an entire litre of milk? And then a chocolate milk?

>>71394643
combine peanut butter, shoyu sauce, brown sugar, salt and a bit of water to thin it out

can't remember exact amounts but start with a tbsp of nut butter, soy and sugar and see where that goes

Fuck sake lads, got to go on a team-building trip to WALES on Tuesday.

It's going to be wet, cold and just utterly shit.

>ahh yes let me build a boat out of some barrels hmmmm not quite enough let me fall backwards into your arms ahh yes that's got it

Can you be my friend please

Thanks

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Just shaved my cock and balls

bit sore

getting better at sex all the time lads. am actually at the point where i feel completely comfortable and confident with it

my best position seems to be doggy style. i stay 100% rock solid as long as i want. something about staring into a girls butt as you fuck her that just makes me extra horny. anyone else?

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think i genuinely have PSTD after watching threads
my post-apocalypse mad max fantasy is dead

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrHoMSRZOS4

>>71394732
How many people are going?
Any qts?

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got a little bag of these cocksuckers at walgreens today, just for me

im so bad x

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>>71394732

>>71394697
oh here he comes, the little batty boy sidekick
i'd smack you in the nose right now but it's covered in caralads shit you dirty bastard

>>71394724
thanks. i shall add chilli sauce to that too i reckon.

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>>71394736

>>71394722
really love milk

>>71394758
same thing happend to me with war of the worlds

>>71394724
>no lime juice, chillies or coriander
savage

>>71394732
>team-building trip
>to WALES
Jesus fucking Christ mate.

>>71394752
fuck off normo

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*the landlord stands behind the bar, drying a freshly-washed pitcher with a Coors logo emblazoned on the side*
*your number is called over the speaker system and you approach with your ticket in hand*
*the landlord raises his voice so you can hear him over the World Series game currently playing on the plasma screens dotted around the bar*

>What can I get you, pal?

>>71394761
About 18 of us, there will be qt's

>>71394791
It's a 2 hour drive we're all going on a minibus.

>>71394776
Thats just too much milk

>>71394768
>sidekick

wat, you sound like a sperg what did you expect lad

kinda funny really

Lol Wales

I get it

>>71394771
oh shit yeah i forgot, a bit of 'cha goes well in there too

>>71394732
my office just does alcohol-related things for team building desu

>>71394732

Are team building trips common for call centre staff?

>>71394828
well there we go lad. i should be a chef.

>>71394816
>ticket in hand
wat

hmm
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4239352/Muslim-parents-sent-school-headteacher-death-threats.html

>>71394823
GOMAD faggot

>>71394849
THAAAATS NUMBERWANG

>>71394816
howdy dude, can I get fordy-eight wings for table 128? aaand those come with the two free pitchers right?

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>>71394732
>there is no concept of team building at my work place

>>71394849
Your local doesn't have a ticketing system? Does it even have contactless payment haha what part of the North are you from exactly?

>>71394879
watching history of numberwang rn

>>71394816
>your number is called
That's not how pubs work

>>71394732
stay out of my country, jamal

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>>71394777
>those fucking tripod walking sounds

>>71394893
is this the developing gimmick where we pretend pubs have things like table reservations and ticketing systems?

>>71394915
the panic got me

>>71394907
It is fascinating

https://twitter.com/sensanders/status/833371824071151616
why is he so fucking stupid

>>71394825
fuck off you sad twat

>-a, -я, -o nouns: just remove the last vowel sound. Extends to -ия and -иe nouns (which become -ий). A vowel is inserted if a consonant cluster forms at the end. We will address a few common cases of fleeting vowels later in the course

>hard consonant: typical “masculine” nouns ending in hard non-sibilant consonants get the ending -oв. Those in “-й” get -eв, and so do nouns in “-ц” when the ending is unstressed (which won't help you much).

>soft consonant: feminine and masculine nouns ending in -ь or hushes (Ж, Ш, Щ, Ч) will get -eй as the ending. Neuter nouns ending in -e also use this pattern.

Wtf

i'm probably the biggest runt in here, a few facts about me:
- I smoke 5 cigs a day
- I don't drink or take drugs because i'm a huge lightweight
- I do literally no exercise
- Haven't had sex for a couple years
- 5'8, no facial or body hair

reckon anyone here can out-runt me?

>>71394816
gasping for air

>mfw fedora as fuck but love Jesus (the man) and the message he spread and genuinely want to spread it without the need for being religious or believing in an afterlife

>>71394975
he is right though

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Who else /top o' the table/ here?

>>71394975
>badmouthing the pope
think they hang you for that in potatoland lad, be careful

>>71394732
Forest of Dean?

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Redpill me on Plymouth - is it a shit hole?

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brown reggaeton shithole gf

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I WANT A MUSLIM GF REEEE

>>71395067
FOY

hmm yes american
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz-vgDOjAck

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>>71395067

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i only have two friends left that i can depend on and i think they're going to abandon me
i deserve it anyway

>team-building trip

abnormie nightmare

>>71395026
I'm a virgin.

>>71395067
dad went to glasgow with his mate for the celtic game yesterday because muh irish heritage
t. villalad

reminder that non-whites want all of us whites dead

>>71395133

Are you that fool who was on about moving to Dub?

>>71395117
what? what's so weird about this?

>>71395034
ah yes people should be thrown in jail if they refuse to pay for the problems of others

unironically (but actually a little ironically) see a psychologist once a week

>>71395160
you're right
so kill yourself milky

>>71395026
never smoked
don't drink or do drugs
khv

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For some elaborate reason you're at a club in Russia with a few of your mates when all of a sudden this man walks toward you saying you touched his gf and he's going to beat the shit out of you, what do you do?

>>71395160

Not true

t. pakistani

Quite like the fat people hate threads on /fit/

I bet some of you are porky

i'm the least touchy feely person ever. normals are always touching me on the shoulder or arm, patting each other on the back, etc, i NEVER touch people like that, too scared

>>71395133
That's what he told you but they really went to get a happy ending from the local Chinese masage parlor in Brum

What's a good political ideology/life philosophy that will let me be a massively self-centered cunt without consequences?

>>71395165
yeah haha
might not do it anymore

>>71395160
Not true, they'd receive no benefits if we all died.

going to try and transfer unis
as none of you CUNTS gave me any input, i'll just try it anyway

>>71395160
it's honestly concerning how so many of them have such a burning hatred of white people

pretty depressing, honestly.

>trump references swedish incident that didn't happen
>causes viewers to search for swedish terror incidents in general
>his extremist fans take the opportunity dig up everything they know about swedish terror and riots
>what liberals thought off as stupidity ends up red pilling the mainstream public

BRILLIANT

>>71395185

Yell мoлoдeц, Пeтpoвич you activated my trap card

>>71395218
Nihilism or Islam

>>71395210
i did see his ticket for the game
could all have been an elaborate ruse though

>>71395244
what dimension chess is he playing now?

wish I was a girl touching my fanny rn

>>71395185
Play down his remarks as fake news.

>>71395244
what?

>>71395244
It's quite literally 10 dimensional chess

doing a president

just realised there's no bog roll reeeee

woke up at 5am lads went for a walk

then i breakfasted in the coffee store nearby, had eggs benedict


now i shall have a sweet morning poo before heading to gym x

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>spent the whole day teaching myself surface integrals because i thought it'd help me understand my electromechanics textbook more
>it didnt help

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A DILDO IN THATCHER'S DEAD ARSE

>>71395117
Christ

FOR YOU

>>71395171
ahahahaha stretching a bit there lad

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https://youtube.com/watch?v=UZPCp8SPfOM


Watching this.


Third eye status: Wide open

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Me on the right

>>71395244
are there actually any swedish incidents beyond muh anecdotal evidence?

love a bit of alicia keys
great voice

business idea: be a gay man and work for the TSA touching mens bodies while getting paid for it

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*invests in the northern powerhouse*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxE1fhYZxRQ

>>71394825
fuck off PADDY

business idea : be a straight man and become a gynecologist

>>71395391
me in the flat cap

business idea: auction my white privilege on eBay

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I want the pain to stop

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found this cool pic on spee

>>71395391
Me in the hair piece

>>71395026

28yoKV

>>71395420

Fucking dumb whores making smart easy money reeeeeeeeeeeeeee

business idea: become attractive and have sex with lots of women

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>>71395453
That was a great thread

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post working class runt food

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You just arrived home on a cold night after putting a tenner on the leccy key and see this guy shagging your gf, wat do?

>>71395453
beautiful

what's your most watched youtube video lads? one of mine has nearly 10,000 views

>>71395195

despise fat cunts

they are professional victims, never their fault. women especially.

business idea: be a paediatrician and a paedophile

>>71395469
Blame the dumb spergos

>>71395452
me on the left

liverpool seems like a nice place

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1zlIGxpFMvj

We'll be baneposting in 20 years

>>71395519
It's not

http://www.strawpoll.me/12374673


Non Brits please take this poll.

>>71395519
Seems like you've never been

>>71395519
it is 2bh

>>71395504
Sound like the alt right

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Based PJW is on Joe rogan's podcast next week


Can't wait

>>71394542
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-ZU3QhUbJA
Does this song give you chills?
>mother where is your child so late at night

>>71395533
>>71395547
paki londoners

>>71395550
ah so that's how it works

>>71395564
POL JOSUF WOTSUN?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aq83an8eXtg

>>71395550
>when you've got the gf over but Giggs' album just dropped

>>71395503
just shy of 200k
thanks to the 'dit

>>71395564
>called PJ
>goes by Paul Joseph so he doesn't sound like a dumb knacker

Not foolin anybody lad

biggest animal you could knock out lads?

reckon i could do a horse with ease, the only strength they have is kicking so if you go round the front and just clock it in the face then it should drop to the floor

>>71395550
I see, it all makes sense now.

is there some way to make yourself stop caring about being a kissless virgin?

>>71395609
quivering

>>71395546
voted yes

>>71395637
Check how much disposable income you have.

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off to do gay sex with this lad that dresses like a lass tomorrow night

who needs love tonight?

who's had a rough weekend?

>>71395366
me not paying my taxes = me going to jail, not hard to understand

>>71395628
Bare knuckle - maybe a cow

With a weapon, I could take out a panther easy

>>71395637
Yes
Kys

>>71395600
about 30 seconds in when she started going off like that I would have just physically removed her from the taxi and drove off

>>71395637
Kiss and have sex.

>>71395564
OH FUCK

Joe is going to give him he Molyneux treatment and call him an idiot once its over.

>>71395691
And you are saying that's a bad thing?

Brainstorming some ideas for FAKE NEWS lads. Please rate.

>City of London invests £25 million in pro-disability scheme to encourage major companies to provide those with disabilities representative boardroom positions
>Birmingham City Council suggest CUTTING number of officers on patrol 'to improve social cohesion and cut crime'
>Jeremy Corbyn reportedly hired known Pro-Brexit staffers for by-election campaigns in run up to 2016 referendum, according to sources

>>71395637
be thyself

>>71395702
what and have to deal with consequences of her crying assault

show me bigger runts than those who run for Union president

all those bent little Vote For Me! videos they make

nah fuck off

>>71395550
*makes notes*

>>71395710
no. joe isn't as retarded as molypoo

>>71395725
300m a week to the nhs

>>71395671
not much
>>71395699
nah
>>71395703
reee
>>71395741
reee

>>71395745
I wouldn't have punched her or anything, Just undone the seatbelt and pulled her out and drove off

can call the rozzers if she likes, I shan't be taking that level of direct abuse from anyone

>>71394542
>mandy.jpg

>>71395503
last video i uploaded was a runescape music video in like 2007
it got like 300 views

>>71395609
WOIIIIIIIIII

screaming

oooooo baby come on let me get to know ya

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>>71395792
anime?

>>71395829
fuck off actual nonce

>>71395678
Yeah me lad

>>71395503
mine's got 1500 but its just a movie clip

>>71395600
Good for her sticking up to paki conmen

>>71395550
is this how girls end up having twins

>>71395503
made a combat evolved montage many moons ago and it got about 40 views

feel like im acc dying

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UTBfMMH2M8#t=23s

ARE LIZ

SWIFTA PRODUCSHUN

>>71395716
>is me having to pay for other people's problems and a monopolised good (that like all monopolies leads to higher prices &lower quality) a bad thing
yes

>>71395550
WHAt am I looking at

>>71395678
sobering up after 3 days

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>>71395829

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the gf as it were

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>>71395829
Nice idea desu

>>71395850
what's wrong?

>>71395881
I GOT A BLACK SKI MASK BUT I DON'T SKI

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>>71395829
>>71395849

>>71395887
Thought we were talking about paying tax

Stretching again there lad

Refer to article 25 of the universal declaration of human rights as citation that you are unequivocally wrong

>>71395901
how does living in iceland feel?

doing a clinical depression

>>71395924
Had something from work on my mind all weekend and it's stressing me out

Actually gotta act on something tomorrow and I'm shitting it

>>71395829
what about it

>frequent muslim stabbings in Sweden


>hm what? what terrorist attack drumpf? you are crazy!

not going to post in here if there's anime shit here

>>71395881
im a mic controller
strike on the mic like a ten pin bowler
like a steamroller
ill flatten you
ill ricky hatton you
i turned down your mum cause your mum wears gola

doing a self-diagnosed depression

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first 2 of the 4 owen street skyscrapers on the rise in the northern powerhouse

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>>71395940

doing a nigger

>>71395975
>Actually gotta act on something tomorrow and I'm shitting it

what's the worst that can happen? i find i stress myself out way too much about making decisions

>>71395993
Fake news lad

>>71395954
>human rights
only property rights exist

>>71396013
is that a building site or just the north?

>>71396013
no way i thought this was years off

the rendering is such poor quailty

>look mummy, i said the N word again!

Business idea: replace council tax, national insurance and licence fee with private discretionary equivalents.

>>71396070
What, Northern?

niggers chimping out outside my window again
might toss a banana at them

>>71396001
i might move to /cum/

>>71396011
was that a sly dig at
>>71395970 ?

fuck off you daft shite

MY NAME A JEFF

>>71396089
No, n*gg*r
Disgusting behaviour

>>71396013
Didn't the mancs demolish tower blocks recently?

>>71396062
horrendous gimmick

>>71396070
sambo
jungle bunny
shine
spade
knuckle-dragger
spear chucker

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>>71395887
>that like all monopolies leads to higher prices &lower quality
really makes me think

>>71396118
bit paranoid aren't you mate

>>71396038
*enslaves you*

>>71395967
ohh trust me lad I love it
things a hate tho: cheapest beer is like 180kr for slots, a 50gr neftóbak can is like 25 euro now, and the gasoline company jews rob the people blind

>>71396123
Nagger?

seen swifta beater do a set a couple weeks ago
good dj with top production credits desu

>>71396038
Only deal in facts not hysterical delusions lad you've been utterly btfo here

>>71396105
what's their problem now?

business idea: get rid of all income taxes but increase sales taxes by a fair amount for all things

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOUqVuNzkA8

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>>71396001
off you pop then

post chunes


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFTgrcTofoE

name a fourth hot beverage after tea, coffee and hot chocolate

>>71396141
t. redneck
>>71396164
howling

B

>>71396183
no idea. they're laughing like literal chimpanzees and breaking shit
love niggers, they're the best

>>71396217
Lemsip

>>71396162
what's the good parts?

>>71396217
Bovril

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>>71396238
quality

>>71396188
Good way to depress the economy

Business idea: gather up all cyclists, place them in a black bin liner and leave it in the Thames overnight

>>71396217
mulled wine
consommé
hot toddy

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developed this new gimmick lads, whats its potential?

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>>71396217
agua panela (the pengest hot drink)

what's giving oral sex to a woman like?

>>71396217
Horlicks

>>71396279
raging cager

>>71396217
hot water
bouillon
hot cola

>>71396162
no idea what 'slots' means, but 180kr is piss cheap

Post your unsuccesful gimmicks:

>Cyber Space
>Healing Magick

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The gf

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>agua panela (the pengest hot drink)

>>71396199
>>71396205
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8GrRA2k0aw

RATS

FIGHTING FOR SCRAPS

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>>71396326

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>>71396279
cannot tell you the smug feeling of satisfaction I get everytime I see some cager complain about cyclists

>>71396337
prefer not to say

Find me a more Deano song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKB4cioGs98

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>>71396322
>hot cola

>>71396321
>>71396387


I honestly hope you're gassed some day

smoke 8 to 10 cigs a day

>>71396405
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_OIkuwEGtg

>>71396409
fuck off weeb

>>71396409
hot dr pepper's alright

>>71396429
That's low for a Frenchman.

>>71396387
Won't be smug when I drive over the top of you

Utter pricks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnBpsUZDiQ0

>>71396244
oh I love the car culture (yeah I know I sound like fag) and the nature and the party culture, starting drinking at 20 and stopping at 5-6 and sleeping 8-9 is normal

>angry cager starts beeping
>move to the middle of the lane and cycle slower

love cager rage

>>71396405
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSYvsJA-Ua4
basically any ladhouse really

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>>71396426
don't care

>>71396448
doing my best tbH

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>>71396462
proper choon

>>71396375
like classic more

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>mfw riding really slowly on my bike to piss carcucks off
>all they can do is beep

>>71396454
lol :^)

finished looking at France on google maps

everything is really nice there, there's nothing grim

>>71396508
Great idea until you get knocked off

>>71395678
took too much drugs

>>71396528
tell us what happened

>>71396471
>>71396508
unironically have sped past a cyclecuck doing this so fast and close that he fell on his face the absolute fuckhead

71395244
71395550
71396217


got a lucrative return from these posts and I'm ready to give back to the community. Who wants some (You)s?

How far ahead do you have to book to get a table at the local? Is there a penalty if you cancel?

>>71396526
Wear a gopro so they'd be getting prosecuted.

>>71396405
Adagio for strings

>>71396508
good lad

Watching slater from /fa/'s videos on YouTube

>>71396522
haha
have a closer look at certain parts of paris

there's some proper grim commie blocks here and there

>>71396466
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd4r83tZBBw

>>71396550
fantastic post

>>71396565
Great idea unless you die

>>71396580
Then they'd be getting prosecuted for manslaughter

>>71396538
passed out (i was at home though haha)
overall feeling sick and tired

>>71396572
yeah but that's like some tiny parts of one city

their entire country looks nice whereas britain is really grim haha

Would honestly feel nothing if every single cyclist died

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>>71396522
>

>>71396560
check the NFL, NBA and MLB schedules, if there's a big game on then book at least 3 days ahead, otherwise you've got no hope

modes of transit:

cycling>horseback>train>walking>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>caging

>>71396560
>you can book tables at your local
fob

goin to bed at midnight tonight

cyclist vs drivers is one of my favourite arguments on /brit/

north vs south UK is my least favourite

>>71396612
>>71396550
SLOW

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Den grams amber leaf?

Are you daging de biss my friend?

cycling is just gay desu

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cagers btfo

*beeps at /brit/*

>>71396570
doing the same

wish those skycycle things were a reality, i dont even cycle because i'm a lazy cunt but i would if they existed, it'd be pretty kwl

Unironically do not enjoy drinking wine or Champagne

>>71396565
So would you

Would rather be a paki than a cyclist

*politely rings my bike's bell*

no point in having a car when you live in a city
in other situations i understand though

>>71396612
you must hate the environment

>>71396634
I always notice the drivers are genuinely angry and hateful

must be horrible to be consumed with negative emotions, guess thats what happens when you don't feel the wind flow through your hair often enough

>car going really slowly behind me and giving me time
>turn left into a parking space to give him space to overtake
>gives me a nice wave

>angry cager right up my tail starts beeping
>go to the middle of the lane and cycle slower

screamING !!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>71396676
>scootercucks

how about you grow a willy

Would rather be gay than a cyclecuck, though I imagine it'd be pretty similar.