/brit/

My dick is not a videogame
therefore
My dick is art

BUMBACLOT

Jabless

What is love?

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kountah
kultcha
klub

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>>71337768
Dad take me back China is raping me with communism I want to be part of the Crown Colony again

>watching femdom porn
>"You download this stuff for free and you call yourself a submissive?"
she's got me there

>>71337768
Mates just told me that I got raped last night pretty much - I was completely drunk at a party. Had no clue until this morning and now I feel like shit

>>71337684
>>71337464
>>71337404
>>71337198

did some anal play last night and had 3 handsfree orgasms and still finished myself off again with my hand

What do you lads do on your free days to avoid that feeling of a wasted day by bedtime?

>>71337885
go out with a friend

>>71337885
>wasted day
FONT

>>71337885
Have loads of wanks

>>71337885
Cuddle with my gf

>>71337885
Trail running/weight lifting

>>71337885
you can avoid that feeling?

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>You know what Uranium is right? This thing call nuclear weapons and other things like lots of things are done with uranium including some bad things

ah yes, the forty-pissth Poosident of the Poonited Sharts

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>>71337885
Read

>first order
>knocked my socks off
>second order
>not feeling a damn thing

fuck @bay 2bh

>>71337939
fuck off

theresa may sounds like a robot reading off a teleprompter

at least trump is human

>>71337885
go out for a coffee, go shop maybe go cinema

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gets the cogs whirring

>>71337885
do what i like to do
even when i do nothing at least I am enjoying it
thus nothing goes to waste

>>71337960
toilet bog fart can't finish a sentence

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>>71337885
>every day isn't a wasted day for him
just take some psychedelics and chill out man

>>71337939
>TRUMP: Well, the leaks are real. You’re the one that wrote about them and reported them; I mean, the leaks are real. You know what they said, you saw it, and the leaks are absolutely real. The news is fake because so much of the news is fake.

So one thing that I felt it was very important to do — and I hope we can correct it. Because there’s nobody I have more respect for — well, maybe a little bit, but the reporters, good reporters.

? ? ?
? ? ?
? ? ?

>>71337975
t. mohammad

>>71337960
you know he's a fucking idiot as well as I do

Theresa May not be as clued in as a nuclear scientist but at least she knows her limits

off t'footie with me dad lads

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>>71337768
Reeee fuck off Russia, England is with us.

>>71337974
shit haiku, doesn't even have the right number of syllables
see me after school

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>>71337989
would have actually been creasing if I was in the press pit

>>71337960
>acting human equals being fucking retarded
America.

Yo... Uh... Yeah...

Listen up nigga yeah I'll tell ya how I roll,
Got Nigerian bitches and they sliding down my pole,
Callin em like roll, girl show me day hole,
Hit that pussy sideways cuz I'm always in control

>>71337860

Lmao is that white phosphorous?

Lol Hongcucks getting btfo

I reckon I'd be able to heem approx. 72% of the Royal House of Windsor and three to four assorted guards in one go (if I began with dropkicking the old cunt Lizzie the Second and Last first)

Anyone have that Trump excerpt where he goes from talking about something to do with nuclear weapons or power then to talking about his uncle then to talking about Persians all in a single sentence

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>>71337960
>would the prime minister personally authorise a nuclear strike that would kill hundreds of thousands of innocent men, women and children?

>*stands up*
>*leans on table*
>Yes

Say what you like about mummy may, but she's a fucking pimp when it comes to public speaking

>>71338005
>tfw no norman daddy to harry my boipussy

>>71338075
Would be a bit pointless to have nukes if you don't at least publicly say you're going to use them

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SIZZLING

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>>71338076
Oh you will now.
Bend over.

>>71338075
Pimp? More like a fucking gimp.

>>71338075
that was a mad ting desu

>>71338088
Previous PMs edged around the question, saying they'd consider the circumstances etc. etc.

May just straight up agreed to blowing up kids if it meant getting the enemy.

>>71338075
>The capitalist class are willing to do anything to keep themselves in power
Really? Woah.

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>>71338090

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>>71338072
>Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart—you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you're a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.

>>71338075
she's a soft cunt and would never authorise anything without Trump's written consent and even then the daft tart would call him for clarification

Needing a ripper massage, literally every muscle is sore.

>>71338117
Alright Jezza, settle down

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>I guess it was the biggest electoral college win since Ronald Reagan
>You said today that you had the biggest electoral margin since Ronald Reagan, with 304, 306 electoral votes. In fact, president Obama got 365, President Obama 332, and George H.W. Bush 426.

reckon france will elect the right winger female and rest of west yurop will follow

>>71338121
ah yes the great orator that is Donald J. Trump
truly a marvel, can see why yanks liked him

>>71338173
hopefully not

>>71338173
make it happen (((mate)))

imagine being french lads

oahahaha

>>71338173
Le Pen is a statist whore

her only right-wing sentiment is being sceptical about all the muslims

>>71338173
post fucking machines

Trump has Alzheimer's or some other mental illness. Look at old videos of him and he talks perfectly normally.

heebs will not divide us

>>71338205
WRONG. SAD! LYING LEWIS!

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Woah ...

>>71338205
Trump was endorsing Boeing yesterday and he looked as if he had back problems

seppos ought to roll out Roosevelt's wheelchair

>>71338236
wow, that's deep

>>71338236
lol

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lunch is served

>>71337867
men can't get raped

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>>71338256

>>71338005
i like both :) x

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I have never seen an Anglo Spanish friendship edition.

>>71338256
ah yes, runt chow

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>>71338236
Damn...

>>71338256
Very runty meal.

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>>71338256
*HEEMS YOU FOR BEING A RUNT*

theresa passed the craziest surveillance laws ever seen in the West but at least she's not drumpf right lads?

>>71338236
how is this man still seen as clever

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I find myself oddly attracted to this girl

>>71338280
*fires cannons at your ship*

>>71338280
I've never seen you lot relinquish Gibraltar so that's that

spain <3

>>71338256
definition of runt slop

>>71338299
fucking HOWLING
like an anime nonce could heem ANYONE

Meet me in sheffield city centre at 1430 and I'll cave your skull in you kiddyfiddler

LOVE HER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rt5lA3QV-4

i've never had sex

A girl semi-raped me once, nothing with the penis. I'm gay and don't really mind it.

I'm gay desu

feeling very bent today

any leeds lad here?

by the way I'm gay

>>71338256
>white "food"

>>71338338
>>71338348
>>71338349
>>71338353
>>71338356
five bent posts in a row

i'm a man who likes fucking other men desu

having a free lunch

>>71338348
>>71338349
>>71338353
>>71338356
>>71338364
OH JUST FUCK OFF

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>tfw you'll never take the tube home from work on a rainy late October Friday evening, feeling mildly numb and full of ennui; "but it's ok, things could be worse" you say to yourself as you step out of your tube station, opening up your umbrella and taking a moment to stare at the hazy street lamps, random shops and tail-lights reflecting on the rainy streets; taking a moment to look at your watch, it's 6:07 pm, so you start walking to your flat, stopping on the way to your corner chip shop, the Ocean Fish Bars. you get the usual, large chips to share and two medium cods and scampi, picking up a can of Old Jamaica ginger root beer and an Irn Bru, you go out, saying cheers to Jermaine, he's a good lad even though he's missing two teeth from back in Nigeria. you keep walking home, misty rain in your face but it's ok, because soon you're home and you'll unlock the door and your qt christian refugee gf runs and jumps in your arms, dressed in your burgundy hoodie, kissing you and almost not letting you say hi to her, she's noticing you got some takeaway she gets even happier, she was just about to text you that. she's chipper, having just finished a long assignment for her class. you have your fish and chips while you watch some Inbetweeners episodes and doing shit jokes about #bants and cheeky nandos. after that you dim the lights, put on a record she picked a while ago from a shop run by a and old hippie, lying on the floor, rain hitting the windows. the record ends and she draws a bath for the two of you. you enjoy your bath, looking hazy-eyed at eachother, faint smiles, resting your chin on her left foot, thinking that you've done this before, and yet, you're overwhelmed by a state of pure bliss and you realise, you're finally at peace with yourself. suddenly she breaks the 20 minutes long silence, saying the same thing.

We're all gay lads here, right?

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>>71338236

>>71338403
Bisexual here

Free love

Why is there too many Gays on /Brit/?

I must say I quite like the feeling of a good 9-incher up the ol' bum

How about you lads?

>>71338411
Fuck off closetfag

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>>71338378

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2016/12/22/britains-top-universities-becoming-no-go-zones-jews-baroness/

OY VEY SHUT IT DOOOWWWWNNN

considering a wank

I have nothing to declare but my intellect

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>>71338384

Who wants to be my bf then? x

>>71338414
Hello fellow fagfriend, suck any dicks recently?

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>Heteronormies can't handle the bants

>>71338414
>is
ffs can't even speak your mother tongue correctly

>>71338463
post fucking machines

>>71338429
>being biphobic
CAN NOT WAIT till gays are kicked out of the lgbt community

>>71338437
Rasheed

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>>71338446
You'll have to be my secret bf. My dad did it with two other families, why can't I.

need a gf AND a bf

i fucking hate jews but i really want to give a jewish girl my big uncut willy straight up her shekel slot

going out to fulfil my destiny
any1 want something?

>>71338256
Literally what a 13 yr old would make for himself

>>71338479
Fence sitters OUT

Going to personally lynch every one of you halfies

>>71338491
Greedy biscum

wish jfs would fuck off

>>71338493
>shekel slot

>>71338493
alri im up if you can pretend my hairy butthole is a pussy

>>71338495
1 gf (girlfriend) please

>>71338524
This is my thread now toots

If ya don't like it you can fuck my ass x

Serious question lads

My GF is laying eggs right now in front of me from her vagina. Is she pranking me?

>>71338437
>failing to combat hatred against Jews as they are “afraid of offending” their potential benefactors from Gulf states.
lol

>>71338495
Cornetto

>>71338530
it's a new slang for jewish vagina that i just made up in the moment, what do you think?

>>71338493
hey

cool it with the anti-semitic remarks

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STICC

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getting in the shower now lads
have set up some choons to play on the ol' bluetooth speaker

>>71338524
Aussies and Leafs are fucking awful. Hate seeing them on /brit/

>>71338511
runt tier post

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>>71338540
x

>>71338495
Keri Sable gf and one cornetto (classico pls)

>>71338543
>GF is laying eggs right now in front of me from her vagina

very aroused at this thought

>>71338573
It's Amazon, what's your point?

/brit/ is the /b/ of /int/

captcha: berr ukip

>>71338495
A French gf who will speak French to me please.

50 more minutes for proving the bread. Knock-back stage complete.

>>71338543
proofs??

>>71338560
don't know even a single one of these "artists"

>>71338560
*surreptitiously opens youtube*
ahh yes, very nice choons indeed

>>71338598
aussies don't have amazon?

>>71338617
post fucking machines

need a poo but don't want to get up

quite the conundrum, this

Knob just brushed the porcelain

Ruined my weekend

noticed that half the questions for the fast stream were about saving money. is that normal or just with this jewy austerity driven administration?
when labour were in power was it all about solving problems whatever the cost?

Might do a cheeky move to America

>>71338639
Australia is a third world country mate

>>71338617
>being on /brit/ and not knowing aj tracey

>>71338675
*posts hdi rankings*

>>71338661
It's always been there, but departments have to save huge amounts by 2020. A lot of a Grade 7's job will be cutting costs and making efficiency changes

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>>71338560
Good lad

>>71338690
I honestly think HDI should take into account toxic climates and killer wildlife

how strong are motorway barriers?

going on a roadtrip and intend to kill as many people as possible in the traffic and my vehicle

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(These captchas are driving me crazy.)

>>71338695
haha @ u

>>71338719
Why?

>>71338695
WHEN PEOPLE SEE MY BABY MUM THEY'RE LIKE OIIIII

>>71337768
Clearly there isn't any inbreeding within royal families NOPE, not any.

>>71338712
>killer wildlife
pakis are more dangerous than any spider m8

the amount of white middle class /brit/ posters who listen to grime is slightly worrying. bet they've never even been to an underground grime rave in SW9 during the years of 2003-2010

havent had sex in 14 years

feels odd today
is the season changing or something?

>>71338792
Callum

>>71338675
*posts any list of rankings in which Australia ranks better than the UK (i.e most of them)*

>>71338768
I don't think spiders offer to take care your teenage daughter for free whilst you're on holiday eh mate?
Wonderful thoughtful people are the old 'stanis

>>71338805
Was like that yesterday, wasnt it.

Cocaine is overrated lads

>>71338839
*shit cocaine is overrated

>>71338738
me on the left
you on the right
:) x

>>71338839
preach it brother

>>71338738
bloke misspelt misspelt 2bh

>>71338792
I was on romsn road in 2003 you muppet

having a fap

>>71338852
YES. x

>>71338890
reckon the one on the left could wave his neck around like a giraffe and floor half of /brit/

>>71338884
Misspelled is fine you mong

>>71338921
Fuck
Off
Yank

what's the most illegal thing you've done lads?

i stole a pack of chewing gum from the a paki shop once

>>71338958
Hit a copper

>>71338958
Had sex with an escort and refused to pay her, so she retroactively refused consent. So technically, I raped a hooker.

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What's the point of /ck/ if you can't even Ja/ck/post? Not sure 4chan should be run by triggered jannies.

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>>71338958
can i see what you've got in your pocket there mate?

>>71339003
yeah sure thing mate

*puts hand in pocket and pulls it out, revealing a middle finger*

>>71339000
Ja/ck/ is basically baneposting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3OOlZQsiQo
really like the music but i WISH the lyrics weren't so shit and low energy

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Plans for le weekend?

>>71339071
>that pic

megalolz

Oh then, tell me Seán O'Farrell, tell me why you hurry so?

>>71338958
Broke into a house construction site when I was about 12 with some mates, we'd hang out there while the crews were gone. Remember we'd piss in the hole where the toilet would go

>>71337839
Vladislav

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HATE it

Why are scottish people on the internet so unbearable. I'm Scottish and embarrassed to tell people now.

>>71338985
Did not happen in the slightest

hello i want to say to you all FUCK YOU and DIE
babaï :3

>>71339000
the weird thing about jack is hes actually well received
yanks are disgusting creatures

>>71339157
Fuck off Jock

English independence soon

>valid anti immigration argument in low income areas
>ur racist xD
>not an argument
>its not worth my time!

Ahh yes r/Ireland

Inb4 triggered yanks

>>71339183
bit rude

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CUTE British boys were made for BIG AUSSIE COCK

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daily reminder that nazis did nuffin wrong

>>71339157
are they? I'm english and i'm quite partial to scottish twitter myself

>>71339212
I got banned for saying Nigerians are lazy bastards.
40% of Nigerians are on the dole though so its true

>>71339232
That's not a boy.

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>Sorry mate, don't accept Scottish notes.

>>71339237
bloody hell, those muzzies need to rein it in

>>71339267
Sikhs are bro-tier

>>71339248
I was in a taxi last night driven by a really nice nigerian

odd

>>71339267
oi you paki fuck, I see that powerpuff girl sticker. Take me to the station or I'm calling the old bill about a paki cabby noncing kids

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>Sikhs are bro-tier

>>71339244
r/scottishpeopletwitter has got to be the worst place on the internet. Also, people here in the north of scotland are starting to type like that even though we talk in perfectly good English.

>>71339267
not so bro-tier after all are you mate?

>Scottish people
>speaking good English

Pull the other one

>>71339232
>Vegetarian boarding school

I don't understand.

Stop
being
effeminate.

imagine that you could be killed at any time by some brainwashed towelhead who wants to be a martyr for a god that doesn't even exist

Natural history museum is absolutely dire

Ignoring the fact that the exhibits are actually pretty shit, you can't see any of them anyway because it's so busy.

Much prefer smaller museums. I used to have my lunch in Bristol museum every day and that was pretty much perfect.

>>71339369
It's obviously important for rorkes to mention anything that's not normal.

>>71339415
i'm a vegetarian and a rorke desu

>>71339382
don't have to imagine that x

>>71339436
give qt kike gf

>>71337768
fuck Nicky II aka Nickolas "2/3 of my people are revolting against me and the war but hell, fuck them" Romanov
It's sad that he ended the russian royalty but well.. he fucked up badly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVeCNI3gLUY

what happened to molyneux lads?

despise life in all its glorious and wonderful forms, lads.

>>71339388
Best collections come from private estates like the Burrell Collection or Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. Everything from the building, atmosphere and pieces are finely tuned to offer a thoughtful consistent experience instead of just a generic tour

Should privitise museums desu

>>71339470
Ahh yes, royalists

>>71339435
Well, yeah, but most aren't. They need to show 'the otherness' of the person although they've literally done nothing wrong.

>>71339472
always thought he'd make a great lex luthor if he shaved his entire head

>>71339366
Some actually do due to when Cromwell stationed a bunch of troops here and forced people to speak english so what happened is they learned the good English from the soldiers rather than the shitty Scots dialect

Why are so few shops owned by white people?

>>71339388
love bovington tank museum, it's too autistic for normies so it tends to be pretty quiet. Always tempted to climb inside a tank and pretend to be a tank commander 2bh

>>71339514
Thank god for Cromwell

>>71339339
fuck sake janman deleted it before I got a look

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I'm thinking about making a fifth lasagna. Chicken. What do you think Jeremy?

>>71339552
most shops are owned by white people

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>>71339492
na, I just don't like what happend to Russia afterwards
I read pic related right now and GEO is normally a more objective history magazine and if his behaviours are portraied correctly.. he's a dipshit.

>>71338792
cuz I was tuning into Southend's number 1 pirate radio station back in 2007

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daily reminder that helicopters use ALIEN anti-gravity technology! Rotors are to fool you and by calculation they should NOT BE ABLE TO FLY

>>71339627
phwoar them tanlines

how old were you when 9/11 happened lads?

i was 3 days away from turning 4

>>71339654
i was 8

>>71339627
ruddy nora

>>71339627
What is the name of female deano?

>>71339552
move away from londonistan

>>71339552
White people sold them to pakis when they realised high-streets were being taken over by online shopping.

>>71339654
20

>>71339634
Me in the second helicopter.

>>71339654
10 2bh

remember it vividly

>>71339634
Helicopters are like bees haha

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me and the mandem

Hot days=Beer and Marlboro lights
Cold days=Red wine and Marlboro reds

>>71339764
el faggót

Might put a bet on 'outhend

>>71339759
me on the right

>>71339654
I was almost 3

>>71339782
woi

New: >>>/ck/8590570.

>>71339759
why have they all got their hair parted at the front?

>>71337885
football manager

>>71339831
deano hair innit

>>71339558
Sounds good might have to go there

London is pretty dire desu. Just took me 15 mins to get to my platform at South Kensington tube station

Bunch of Spanish people just stood on the stairs after the gates and they kept trying to go through the gates without scanning (not to skip paying just because they're idiots)

File: 3D54AE0500000578-4236670-image-a-40_1487398829349.jpg (124KB, 962x720px) Image search: [Google]

124KB, 962x720px

>>71339848

>>71339831
gypos

what can I use as a makeshift prostate tickler

That is what the Jews thought too, you might feel safe now but if English nationalism gets out of control Scots could be lined up against the wall and shot dead in the street to make the island purer for the Anglo Saxon race. This is why we need to stop the English flag.

I don't like Muslims.

I like muslims

>>71339944
racist

>>71339944
good post

>>71339654
12

>>71338958
did 85 in a 50
smoked weed at 14 or some stupid young age early into my teens
drunk vodka in a park at 15

only got caught speeding

File: snapshot_21.10_[2016.07.28_03.58.42].png (3MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1920x1080px

>>71339885
lmao

>>71339956
What race are Muslims?

daily reminder that mummy may has been reading all your /brit/ posts for over 3 months now

>>71339859
i avoid London at all costs during the day, would only work there if i had weird hours so missed the day time normies and rush hour.

>>71340004
Alri Eskimo

>>71340007
shitskin

>>71340004
you got internet in igloos lol

>>71339654
i had been 4 for less than a month. I vaguely remember my mum thinking it was ww3 and buying loads of plastic sheeting which she put over the basement window (she thought it'd be chemical warfare) and buying loads of peanuts and canned food. She also filled up the bathtub with drinking water

>>71340084
hmmm..ah yes

what a wonderful role model

how to have an affair with my brothers wife

>>71340004
be my bf. x

>>71338958
155mph in a car

possible jail time for wreckless driving

inb4 jay, I know I was a mong too

never done sex

https://archive.is/sqY4C

>George Soros' alleged meddling in European politics has caught the attention of Congress.

>Concerns about Soros' involvement most recently were raised by the Hungarian prime minister, who last week lashed out at the Soros "empire" and accused it of deplying "tons of money and international heavy artillery."

>But days earlier, Republican lawmakers in Washington started asking questions about whether U.S. tax dollars also were being used to fund Soros projects in the small, conservative-led country of Macedonia.

>>71340084
her bum only looks good from certain angles desu

>>71340103
lmao what a fucking retard

>>71338958
Fraud and deception

>>71340132
wonder what it's like when a girl pulls her pants down in front of you

>>71338958
downloaded torrents

>>71340134
soros funded BLM

week's shopping arrived lads
3kg of turkey, 1kg of chicken
aaaaah yes... going to be a good week

>>71340125
blimey
were you on the motorway?
I've done triple digits along some extremely twisty bits of the M5 near Worcester and nearly pooed myself

>>71339634
helis don't get enough love

sure they're dangerous af but cooler than planes and rockets

>>71339654
12

have always had extremely sensitive nips

>>71340232
*squeezes your breasts*

>>71339654
11. 12 a week later

>>71340007
brown

>>71339654
>>71339668 >>71339743 >>71339754 >>71339797 >>71339967 >>71340103 >>71340226 >>71340258
cute! :3

>>71339654
6 and a half

*destroys you*

>there will never be a happening as good as 9/11 again in our lifetimes

>>71340199
yeah on the m1

the car topped out at 155

easiest place to get off with a girl and make her feel instantly attached to you is a wedding.

T/F?

>>71340315
well we're currently sitting at 2 minutes to midnight so we might have a nuclear war soon

>>71340330
take it that you were driving a BMW then?

>>71340376
>doomsday clock
>scientific

hmm

*taps you on the tip of your nose*

>>71340385
cl55 amg

>>71340369
Think it might be true if only because my sister has said every time she goes to a wedding alone she feels like shit by the end after watching all the happy couples

>>71340441
>>71340441
>>71340441
>>71340441

>>71340407
it may not be perfect but it's the clearest summary of how close we are to doomsday that we have

>>71340407
>Hello, I am startlingly autistic and, hence, cannot understand metaphors.

>>71340420
*sucks your middle finger instead*

>>71340425
to add

the only reason why is because a car like this feels like its still doing 30 mph

if it was another car I would have shat myself