Four candles?! edition
>>71257426
Fork handles
looks quite nice outside, deceptively spring
was going to leave the house today but don't think i'll bother haha
>>71257426
tfw 4 seconds too slow
>>71257434
>>71257426
Una vela...
theres criminals committing crimes and im the one to stop em
lets goooo
> ameriDUUUR DUMBocracy
DUUUUUUUUR
>>71257358
called a fat girl fat once because she was being rude to me
shoulda seen the look on her face
it was as if she's never been called fat before and had literally no idea how huge she was
just an amazing lack of self-awareness
Toilet Bog Fart
If you don't drop a couple folds of toilet paper in the toilet before you take one you're a major league fag.
When it hits the water 9/10 times you've got man piss going up your arse
business idea: redistribute wealth to africans and latinos and rasheeds so they stop having children
>>71257549
i'll give you $5 for 80% of your company
>>71257534
quite like taking the risk desu
its like my own personal yellow bidet
>>71257534
I like piss up my ass
Go away you commie fuck
Business idea: Put chemicals in the water that turns the Rasheeds gay so they stop having children
suckin on my titties like you wanted me. callin me all the time like blondie. check out my chrissy behind it's fine all of the time. what else is in the teaches of peaces ? like sex on the beaches. huh ? what ?
Business idea: Do my bit for the white race by seducing a Rasheed into being my bf
When every I see an old person I get the urge to pop their little heads like balloons between my mighty arms.
>>71257589
> jew from toronto
> moves to berlin
> makes this shit
Maybe leafs are the problem.
What is the solution?
feel sick still someone help me pls
last took an L but tonight i bounce back
boy i been broke as hell, cash the cheque and bounce back
d town LAX every week i bounce back
if you a real runner u know how to bounce back
i woke up in beast mmoooodddddeeeeee
>>71257645
*tucks you into bed*
*kisses your forehead*
U gay
fuck the pain away
fuck the pain away
>>71257657
fresh one for you lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phr1pOFK1V8
>>71257572
Bit ironic considering those four commie stars on your flag desu
late for work everyday
boss is fuming haha
>>71257683
>gif
fuck off
>>71257686
>fresh
>it's been on high rotation on triple j for the last two years
having loads of fun with rocket league recently
drank a whole bottle of jameson last night
fucking hell i feel awful
*zips up stone island jacket*
*dons fred perry cap*
>>71257686
why are there two korean school girls holding hands? is he a weeb?
>>71257708
> late for work
I only get paid for the hours I show up.
Where the fuck are you allowed to be late for work without cucking yourself financially?
Hahaha Triple GAY haha
business idea: become obese to the point that your stomach begins to droop to penis level, make a small incision in the bulging fat and place in it a small fleshlight to use your own fat as a fucktoy
Profit will be generated through pornographic movies that can be sold online
>>71257738
millwall away lets fucking have it
>>71257641
Is Canada a Muslim country??
>>71257760
jesus christ
>>71257786
dont reply to it
I really do like fat women in are in denial about being over weight
Also those middle aged house wives who have to be proud of everything they do and have support groups about eating yogurt
fresh one 4 you lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JcmQONgXJM
>>71257751
back where you came from
fresh choon for ya lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_shxzlTRK44
got YEA (yogurt eaters anonymous) later
>>71257760
>>71257818
>>71257829
I'm very close to shutting off internet access to north america as it is, do NOT provoke me
I have very clicky hips
fresh tune for u lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnUM34orQ0M
>>71257751
desu i work for a small business bankrolled by a millionaire who doesn't give a shit and a boss with about 4 other different more important jobs, i can get away with alot of shit
>>71257735
ha ha
kek
hate cold days
make me even more depressed than usual
>it's a migraine episode
really wish I could skip these
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tgYr03o3dE
>>71257904
dont move here then
nearly always cold :/
fresh one right of the charts for you lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbfMlk1PwGU
>>71257907
Take some sumatriptan lad xx
>>71257899
its funny how leftists are losing their minds at everything he does even though he said he was going to do it
>>71257807
Really can't tolerate this runt think where people try pose their weaknesses as something to be proud of.
A right minded person should think of themselves on a progression to a perfection, one which they can achieve.
>>71257786
One day, inshallah.
>boo hoo i have a headache
just have some paracetamol and drink some water you stupid cunt
>>71257943
I don't really have a problem with him doing what he says he was going to do, he's just incompetent at his job
Ringing a general to ask about Lockheed Martin with the CEO of Boeing in the room is hilarious
fresh toonaroo 4 u laddies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDp9cOLxYv0
>>71257934
I have some but I'm at work and never taken it before, don't want it to completely mong me out and I can't drive home
took some paracetamol when it first came on at 3am
is 9pm too early for bed? dead tired
Seriously in LOVE with Иpa Cмeлaя
>>71257920
It's rarely ever cold here, WTF are you talking about? It's over 10 degrees for 95% of the year, barely ever going below zero
I bet you also think it rains more in Ireland than anywhere else (also wrong)
>>71257899
fake quotes
>>71257991
For me, it definitely spaces me out for short while, especially if I'm deep in the migraine game already, but I come out on the other side feeling fresh as a pickle
Really the only thing that has helped A+ don't leave the house without them little niggas
Haha you just got fucking memed
>>71257907
this'll sort you out love x
https://youtu.be/sLSChC3kRJc
There's nothing to do here except work and drink
>>71258033
would you say sumatriptan is the McChicken of migraine relief?
>>71258008
yeah but its windy as fuck half the time which makes 5-10 degrees feel like 1 degree
also on acerage it rains for half the year
>>71257920
sixth time this week
>wake up
>arsenal spanked
nice
>>71258065
It's literally Coke tier
>>71258062
it's not any different here in yankland if it makes you feel any better
reckon life is virtually the same all over the planet
>>71258104
i could do with a spanking
>>71258130
reported to the pope
enjoy ur excommunication
SPOIDAHS > Snakes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSKYnvOA5tk
got a strong urge to suck a cock today
>>71258155
only listen to European popes anyway so yeah :)
>Really can't tolerate this runt think where people try pose their weaknesses as something to be proud of.
>A right minded person should think of themselves on a progression to a perfection, one which they can achieve.
>>71258155
mortification of the flesh is not a reason for excommunication, rasheed
Catholics are the Rasheeds of Christianity 2bh
religion is evil
*posts a soothing meme*
little sister stole my mouse again
http://i.4cdn.org/gif/1486661203169.webm
>>71258170
I'll suck your cock if you suck mine.
>>71258010
not really quotes, just descriptions of his view
>popery
not a fan to be quite honest
>>71258232
did this with my brother and a cousin a few times
the only blowjobs i will ever receive haha
pink-and-whites are the dr. pepper of party rings 2bh
poopery
>>71258247
gay
>>71258231
how do fannies contract so much
My arse hurts lying in bed help me lads
potpurri
>potpourri
not a fan to be quite honest
>>71258234
fake interpretations
big fan of captain morgan and dr pepper with some lemon juice to counteract the sweetness
>>71258287
>captain morgan and dr pepper
seems redundant, gold captain morgan and cake tastes enough like dr pepper already
>>71258231
Why would one do this
>captain morgan and cake
>>71257426
>>71257443
was discussing this sketch with my housemate yesterday
>Makes dancing and singing a punishable offence
Protestants are the Rasheeds of Christianity 2bh
>pewdiepie fired from disney and maker studios after making anti semitic comments
ah yes, wonder what religion their management belongs to
how do i get a better cumshot lads?
>>71258370
jewish probably
>>71258377
Let your black bull do it for you
>pr*testants
>>71258394
alri Hans, enjoying your holiday?
>>71258262
Stop scratching it mate
>>71258370
It's clear the Disney execs didn't even watch the 'anti-Semitic' video in question.
Feel bad for the Swede desu, he comes from an alien land not used to banter so he does not have the inherent skill present in all Englishmen to know which jokes should be made in private and which are acceptable in a public forum.
He's spent top much time in England without truly knowing what he was getting into. The lad never stood a chance.
>>71258377
Stop peeing when you're peeing to strengthen the muscles
>>71258370
Wasn't Walt Disney himself an anti-Semite?
>>71258449
Can only begin to imagine the sort of dunce who made this
>Judaism
>Jewish
>Jew
>anti-semite
???
HAHAHA
BAILEYS
IN
A SHOE!
>>71258449
good thing heaven isn't real
really need to clean my room. its a fucking sty.
really need to clean my floors
girl might come over
>>71258515
wasn't me
>>71258537
prove it
daddies little fibs turned my son to ribs
never felt more depressed desu
might go to subway
>>71258568
good howl every time
>tfw we'll all have to mindlessly wander Hades together searching for blood and memes
>>71258563
god abandoned us centuries ago, all that remains is hell
>>71258544
dont get it
>>71258588
prove it
Love a bit of Ed Sheeran
can't believe they had blackface on the BBC in 2010
>>71258591
some autist filmed his mum in the shower and he got caught
there's a thread full of webms, she's got a proper juicy body
Goodnight lads
i'm mad i am
>>71258648
which bit?
>>71258277
how are they wrong?
protestantism is the best branch of christianity, and why the british empire was so successful
WHOY DOS NONE OF US KNOW HOW TO FLUSH A TOILET AFTER YAHZ HAD A SHET?
>>71258697
It wasn't me
FELL IT WAS BLOODY ONE OH YEZ
>>71258649
he's gay so its ok
>>71258697
CHERLOID
the women at work are discussing the soaps in length again
get a fucking life
>>71258744
imperial leather man myself
>>71258767
chuckled
>>71258678
>Protestants abandon the concept of works in favour of faith alone
Slag of Weber it's a shit theory
Trivia: A woman saying these 3 words will make ANY man pop a stiffy
listening to kill em all lads
>>71258666
you can make whiskey out of piss if you want it bad enough
>>71258790
Are you enjoying it?
Are the CIA really trying to impeach Trump? Crazy country, makes you ponder who really is in charge
i use shower soap designed for older people. makes my skin look great. so smooth and supple with a healthy glow.
>>71258820
yeah it's one of the only metal albums i've ever liked desu
What are non pleb brit names?
just finished reading this after some of you lads mentioned it the other day
absolutely great book, thanks for ol' 'omendation
I use cheap shower gel from the supermarket as the shits all the fucking same
>>71258882
Mum doesn't let me listen to metal
>>71258887
Æthelstan
I only use the cheapest shower gels so I can explain why.
had heated argument with mam
wonder how long the silent treatment's going to last
>>71258912
what about grime?
>>71258926
is it because they are the cheapest?
>>71258940
No!
really like that badedas shower gel. best smelling one going. bit expensive though desu
>>71258938
Shh don't let mum find out about Grime
>>71258891
Camus's a trash man. You need to go deeper.
>tfw have such an anglo name, 90% of foreigners can't pronounce it
>>71258970
Im going to read the brothers karamazov next
>>71258887
William, Richard, John, Henry, James, Edward, Charles, George
MIGHT accept Phillip or Stephen, it's a bit iffy though
*busts into thread*
YOOO WADDDUPPP
anyone see the puddles on the ground?!?!? *slaps the drink out of >>71258720's hand*
clean up on aisle 5 hahahaha yeah boys whats going on
>>71259002
Spoiler: it's shit
https://apnews.com/7e5e3538dfa94ae38a1cde5a865e8cf5/India-launches-more-than-100-satellites-into-orbit
Hopefully one of Pajeets satellites comes down and kills me
>>71259002
why aren't you starting with the greeks retard
>>71259002
Saw that movie last week, it's shit
>>71259002
I only read certified meme litterature tbqh
>>71259002
read "the vivisector" by patrick white
obscure enough that nobody on /brit/ can criticise it but still a good book, would've gotten a nobel prize or whatever but it offended the selectors
Talking to this girl on Tinder and she is the world's slowest replier ever. Fucking waiting for four days here, lads.
watched some runt walk into a lamp post lads
>>71258832
i must be missing something
what makes you think the CIA is trying to impeach him
Dear diary,
Imagine living in a country with an unelected upper house of government then going on about unelected bureaucrats in Brussels
Peak runt behaviour
just blew a huge wad lads hehe
Walking through town earlier. Saw a blind bloke waving his walking stick about across the pavement. Knocked some old man's walking stick right out of his hand and he nearly fell over. I couldn't stop laughing. Knocked it right out in to the fucking road.
I did run over and help him of course. But fucking hell that was funny.
>>71258997
>Have 3 disgustingly taig names which are a disability I'll never be able to remedy
>>71259002
A confederacy of dunces and Notes from the underground are the next logical step in entry level internet retard core.
>>71259131
know a guy on the inside
>>71259171
banter
watching some runt /int/post on a bus
>>71259171
Should've bounced the cunts head off the pavement lad
Bang out of order
>>71259002
I didn't like it.
That was so unappeling story. Really boring.
*farts on the Russian itt*
bit of anglo love for you you fucking rusky
>>71259015
What about Joseph?
>went to see an escort last night to lose my virginity
>had sex which was good but when she first took my boxers off she asked me if i'd go and "freshen up"
no idea what she meant lads, really got me paranoid
i trimmed my pubes, had a big shit then a shower before i went
what could she have meant?
Apparently this man waited 4 hours for the P to fall so he could sue Walmart
*cums*
wh-whoops
>>71259251
brush your teeth
>>71259246
Don't recall a King Joseph I so that's a no from me
my reference to british culture is psisyndicate
im back lads
i made it
>>71259245
Not surprised.
It is expected from australian
>>71259322
*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFPT*
*sllllorrrrp* *plop*
and here's dessert
>>71258804
nice meme but it's 100% true
literally just ignoring the truth lmao
>>71259221
Why do Russians speak English in such a predictable pattern, I reckon I could identify a Russian poster without the flag.
Also I will name my first son Warwick
Said good morning to france on behalf of all of us!!!
>>71259218
>>71259334
you're forgetting that nobody really cares
and now for somethiong completely different:
fanny
kek'd
hmmm
>>71259251
probably just have a shower? most of the prozzie stories people post on here, the clients have a shower before the actual secx
Paul Nuttella
>>71259373
she could crack a skull in with that chin
>>71259335
lack of 'the' or 'I' in slavic languages language
>>71259373
you can do better turtlemong
>>71259373
Microfringe
>doing a bp (big poo)
>can feel it's huge but it doesn't want to come out
>it's halfway out
>think the rest is coming
>it breaks off
>goes back up inside
>won't come out now matter how hard i try
very traumatic and sad poo lads
>>71259373
Macrowaist
>>71259442
pry it out with your fingers lad
*walks into a big hall thronged with lively well-to-do men*
*clears throat*
hello there
*everyone stops talking and looks at me*
Is this the Cadbury's Convention?
man: "yes"
Excellent. I am Paul Cadbury. I'd like to join in.
>>71259254
immigants taking american jobs
Desperately need my dad and his friend or whatever to fuck off out the kitchen so I don't die.
I've got low blood sugar, I'd still rather faint than go out there in front of his stupid colleagues
Posted a bit about Irish gypsies last night. TL;DR
>Got a new job at a really nice fish store
>Second shift in gyppos come in and scoop out fish, eat them whole for shits and giggles/freak out colleagues and try and flog the rest in little plastic cups outside
>Manager is too scared to call the police, tells us to just try to escort loud aggressive gypsy kids and their broodmother out of the store
Anyway, just got back from an early shift today and the fucks were back in the store grabbing anything that wasn't tied down. Pencils, Tank ornaments, bottles of conditioners, buckets with fish waste in, you name it.
I'm really starting to regret starting now.
Any suggestions, lads? I don't really want to find another job because of some fucking Pikeys.
need a feisty grill to nibble at my willy
could really go for a puff of the 'ol reefer, 2bh lads
Screeching
>>71259173
does that mean you dislike those books just because they are popular in some sites
*the men look uneasy*
Is there a problem with that? I do notice I don't seem to be dressed to your standard.
*everyone else is wearing gaudy purple suits and wonka-esque top hats*
man: er no, no, no problem at all. Welcome to the convention, sir.
Why thanks. May I get acquainted with you, ma'am? *lady in figure-hugging purple dress regards me coquettishly* What's your name?
lady: Yvette Fart.
*falters*
lady: Yes, my surname is Fart. Is that a problem, Paul?
No, no, by no means. It's just... aren't you ill-suited for this convention?
been talking to a bird on the 'der who looks like penelope cruz lads. said she wants to meet up for a drink. palms are sweating desu, it was ok when i thought i had no chance but now my autism is flaring wildly. this can only end badly.
>>71259530
is this from 10 years ago?
>>71259530
me in the blue shirt
>>71259530
are 90's haircuts back in style in the uk or something?
>>71259442
many such cases!
*jots down this australian lads story for my own use*
>>71259530
me on the right
>>71259530
This is horrifying.
Screeching lads
>>71259530
god damn it, Britain
there are so many things that irritate me
first pic, second from the right. that fucking haircut. it's always that haircut.
what the fuck are those kids doing with their hands in front of their face. I don't get it.
and of course the 10 year olds acting like they're 20. degeneracy, man.
all i ask is i be a few inches taller, that's all. you can even make me bald idc
>>71259674
you wish you were a little bit taller?
*the lady looks down at her dress and nods*
lady: yes, I know, it's a risque fit. I just didn't have anything else that was quite--purple enough--but, er, you don't seem to have bothered.
What? Is that a requirement? You're actually supposed to wear this purple sort of thing? And the top hats?
lady: isn't that what you were saying?
What? What? What? No! No, goodness no. Far be it. I just meant... well, wouldn't you be better off at a... you know, a Fart's Convention?
*the lady is mortified. she empties her glass in my face and stomps off*
*gingerly fingers the rusty lacquer on my face*
I don't understand. What right does a Fart have to take a spot in the Cadbury's Convention? I've a mind to complain.
I'm goyim
>>71259632
>what the fuck are those kids doing with their hands in front of their face
they're a gang of tough lads about to heem the photographer lad. probably didn't ask permission to take the photo and is about to be taught a lesson desu. surprised he made it out of there with his camera.
>>71259685
yes, as my lifetime dream is to be a baller
>>71259712
think he meant the girls mate
*cracks knuckles*
who's up for a heeming then?
EMMMM WANNNN EHHHHHH WANNNNN
the punchline is the man complains to the man in charge of the convention and accuses him of sexist pandering to women, letting her join out of pity because of her last name, only to learn that the cadbury's convention is to celebrate the chocolate brand and not simply a meeting of everyone with the surname cadbury
you can finish it yourselves if you like
i've a hot date with a bed
>>71259736
*picks you up*
hehehe you lil runt
>>71259347
so you blindlessly support trump without caring about flip flopping?
>>71259736
>>71259751
*floors both of you and places my feet on both of your windpipes*
"not so fast kiddos"
>>71259712
>>71259735
>think he meant the girls mate
this.
it looks like bane's mask when they do that. are they baneposting irl?
Think I am an undiagnosed psychopath.
Some days I can be really nice, normie even, but then other days something takes over and I have lash out at everything in my crosshairs.
what do?
>>71259793
nobody cared who they were until they put on the hands
i am brit
>>71259793
going to be honest with you here, none of us have a fucking clue what's going through a 13 year old girls head
ok? I said it
feel like a 'cide
>>71259766
what the fuck has he flipped on
what are you talking about
get away from the propaganda. it's making you delusional
>heems you
GOOOOOOD MOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIINNNGGGGGGG
I voted for Trump and regret it now
>>71259793
they're self-conscious about their looks but probably also pretending it's some ebin joke between them
Thinking about getting a job
I voted for hillary
glad she didn't win though
>>71259862
me too
Honestly hard to pick a favorite
>>71259880
speak German?
>Think I am an undiagnosed psychopath.
>Some days I can be really nice, normie even, but then other days something takes over and I have lash out at everything in my crosshairs.
>>71259530
>12 year old with a widows peak
JUST
>>71259896
yes, but I refuse to use it
>>71259825
well could you pretend so that i can finish masturbating?
>>71259931
where can I get a hat like this?
>>71259530
I've been to this nightclub a few times lel
>>71259530
what's with the face covering?
>Church of England is now in favour of gay "marriage"
When did you realise Protestantism was a mistake?
>>71259880
every time i see someone with your flag posting i assume its that croatian junglefever bro
*walks towards you*
>>71259931
>>71259980
Haram innit
>>71260011
*kicks you across the bar*
is selena gomez white?
brit/feel/ > brit/pol/ > /brit/
Prove me wrong
*reaches out to shake your hand*
>>71260002
hundreds of years ago
>>71260056
dont know dont care
>>71260075
hey lad
*extends out hand to shake your hand*
BZZZZZZZZT
wahey wahey, got an ol'shocker on me hand haha
countah cultcha
>>71260075
*goes to shake*
*violently steps away*
>ALBA GU BRATH
*poos on your hand*
give it a good sniff lad
>>71260153
*shakes your hand with my poo head*
Yeah pretty good
>>71260116
*was wearing rubber gloves*
*pulls your arms quickly and pulls it out of the socket*
Really not digging the farting/shitting gimmicks lads
>>71260185
*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*
>>71260185
Wouldn't mind taking a shit in between her tits
*farts* ahehehehehee
fucks sake lads i undercooked this steak
may as well just feed the cunt grass because it's basically laive ffs
>>71260214
>2141486919879914.jpg (175 KB, 1080x1349)File: 1486919879914.jpg (175 KB, 1080x1349) google yandex iqdb wait>>71260185
>Wouldn't mind taking a shit in between her tits
guadalajara
>>71260250
>>71260262
jf scum
ah yes, a split thread episode again
>>71260089
shes so fucking sexy
she got blacked though a while ago
>look around the staff car park
>all the men reverse parked
>all of the women just drove straight in
REALLY made me think ngl