/brit/

sissy brit boys

who /FastStream/ here?

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>mfw the normies are waking up

i wanted to make the thread >:(

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>when the redpill hits

>>71067793
normies don't wake up at 3 in the afternoon lad

>>71067793
you mean abnos?
nomries get up at 9 on a weekend . early if they have to take their kids to practice

supervisor is asking for a doctor's certificate

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can anyone here outpathetic me?
>23
>khv
>neet
>no licence

>>71067881
>khv

Knight of Holy Victoria? Is that a vidya thing?

>drive through shithole industrial estate
>loads of nice expensive cars parked everywhere

hm

>>71067690
The wall is actually going to be a pretty cool civil engineering project, probably one of the biggest ones in recent memory

how do i become one of those people who isn't talented but still hangs with artists and successful people all their life

>>71067762
It depends what streams you want to go for, but some that are specialist have another stage to test you on the specifics (e.g. diplomatic)

So if you fail any of your streams, it just goes to your next stream to see if you've passed it, if you have, you get that, if you don't, then it goes on and on until you run out of schemes that you picked.

I've not been formally offered a job because my first choice has one last stage but my second choice doesn't and I heard back with the first batch of results meaning my score was probably quite good and they've already sent me forms for criminal background checks etc so I'm guessing I'd have to really fuck up to fail now.

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He would fuck your gf senseless and not give a fuck

bored and dont even have drinking to look forward to

>>71067857
nah normies wake up at 3 extremely hungover

THE MAYNE STREEM

>>71067935
maybe deanos

Remember that archived thread where Reviewbrah was being stalked?

>>71067938
METEORRR

>>71067950
i think deanos are more likely to post here than people who have to wake up at 9 to take their kids to footy practice

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hmm

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need (want) a latex gf

>>71067892
don't be obtuse

>>71067977
the end result of rorkism

>>71067902
become a producer

>>71067902
be an attractive woman

>>71067902
be female

wish my grandmother would stop getting me 360g toblerones
they are a CHORE to eat

>>71067986
what does it mean then?

So if I wanted to smoke in the bedroom... tips?

Require a JO buddy

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24, but with a BLACK GUY this time?!? WOW

https://twitter.com/Slade/status/830167452810108929
me on the right, asserting dominance over the runts

>>71068070
kissless handholdless virgin

>>71068095
does it have a smoke alarm?

>>71067977
Zimbabwe's loss is Zambia's gain

>>71068108
>kissless handholdless

Who the fuck cares if you're not 12?

>>71068108
its hugless

>>71068114
No, I just meant so by morning the smell will be gone.
Fan towards window, towel the door, open window... But it's still cold, but I just want to be in bed and relaxed.

>>71068095
dont be a cunt, you'll set the fire alarm off and everyone will have to go outside
HOWEVER
you could tie a plastic bag around the smoke alarm and open the window

>>71068149
no hugs are easier to get than holding hands

>>71068095
>air freshener BEFORE you smoke (and after)
>hang out the window
>shut the curtain behind you whilst out the window
smoke weed in my room everyday desu

>>71068155
smoke at night and hope the smells leaves by the morning

if it's weed it definitely will

if it's cigarettes that shit penetrates everything

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lost an odds on last night and had to text the ex saying i missed her
she was actually pretty cool about it which made me genuinely miss her

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banter

>>71068178
That's a fucking moose knuckle. Why are chinks so disgusting.

>>71068213
>>71068230
>>71068162
Thanks lads.

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3 out of 11 in already

>>71067870
Are you saying Corbyn is a repurposed Goebbels?

wonder how many redpilled politicans there are who stay silent in the fears of ruining their entire careers

>>71068146
come again

>>71068348
but i thought the redpill was the majority and they were just silent?

morning lads

Arsenal are scum

>>71068391
*rubs your hair* *meows*

>>71068242
that's fucking shit

>>71068416
haha nice

>>71068416
laughed at this

>>71068416
repost

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>>71068416

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>>71068095
Don't fall for the 'bacco Jew.

Once you're hooked, you're hooked. Even when another cig is the last thing you want, you'll need it if you don't want to suffer through excruciating withdrawal.

Nicotine withdrawal is one of the shittiest things, and it's what keeps smokers smoking.

Really, if you take up smoking, you're volunteering to feel like absolute shit without a cancer stick in your mouth every other hour.

It's fucking bullshit.

Don't do it.

i know for a fact that my mum smokes and im 90% sure my dad does too, really want them to stop but i dont want to confront them about it and cause excess hassle

>>71068475
haha howling

>>71068466
I've been smoking for a year and there are days where i just forget to smoke. This post is definetely an exaggeration but still don't start smoking yea

WOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

https://youtu.be/CbnLIf-S5PY

>>71068498
Get her an e-cig, I bought my mum one and she loves it. Got her the normal juic, then got her the reducd nicotine stuff and now she uses the lowest concentration.

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goals are flying in today lads
Thid might be my day

>>71068554
>10 legs
what could they have meant by this?

>>71068554
well excited for you lad

>>71068553
she doesn't know I know she smokes, i've found both an e cig and old packs of fags around the house so i think she already does both

>>71068554
hope you dont have forest in that

just did a big bum fart

>>71068622
Nope I had them on my over 2.5 so that's already in :P

west hampstead is nice lads

can someone supply an image of kevin

There is another thread with 70 posts

Shrieking, wallowing and howling

alri willies

just got directed here by a kind somebody

all the hours, spent on /brit/, making new gimmicks, triggering rorkes and rasheeds, do you regret it?

I know it's shitposting, but /tv/ still triggers me with the lotr threads.

>>71068784
i'm a dual citizen

>the shitty of derby wankty

>>71068789
Mental how no one linked it until now

>>71067881
>koi herpes virus
How do you even catch that?

>>71067998 →
>>71067998 →
I'm a D6.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-5QBCxAzWI&feature=youtu.be&app=desktop

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epic rickles

fcking poofs all

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiTuA8FMaME
lads please I need a response :(

>>71068862
All me.

We're all in here you fucking mongs

>>71067947
>>71067947
>>71067947

wonder how much princess chelsea makes in an average week

>>71068847
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oba9M3DaL68
pretty decent music video tbf

>>71068845
bullshit

wish I had a pale gf

xanax is VERY overrated

much prefer valium

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Worth a crack haha

This 15 year old Girl seems to really like me.

What do? I'm 24 btw.

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The goals are drying up

>>71068875
>threadsplitting
ah yes autism

>>71068905
buy her breezers obvs

>>71068905
wait until she is 19

why are people so butthurt about the wall? what's so bad about keeping illegal immigrants out?

>>71068897
I am currently high on hydrocodone because my wisdom teeth hurt

>>71068905
jam some fingers in

>>71068845
Sure you are mate, any chance you could nip out for some milk before this meeting?

When you're back I need somebody to stuff some letters into envelopes

>>71068897
xanax is better if you're prone panic attacks, valium is better if you just want your day to go smoothly

>>71068905
give it the dick

>>71068968
>>71068949
>>71068912
wrong uns

>>71068955
You rogered me before and I shan't allow you to roger me again.

>>71068905
wait until her 16th and then shag her straight up the fanny

frankly you should all be ashamed of yourselves

*slams door behind me*

Had an anxiety attack whilst I was asleep. Woke me up at 5am. Heart rate was 118

had a very comfy childhood and lived in a very comfy area

>>71068984
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wxq_HUUCNXc

looks alright, might give it a watch/wank

if you groom a girl at 15 but don't do anything sexual until the day she turns 16 is that illegal?

>>71069036
>groom a girl
yes

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>mfw a game released in 2000 predicted the 2016 Meme War

Deus Ex is a good game.

>>71068002

look at this mong with his terrible accys TEARS

>>71068979
You'll do whatever your fast streamer boss tells you to do. No point getting on the wrong side of soon to be senior management.

We'll discuss this in your performance review

>>71069072
they also predicted 9/11

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just did this

>>71069015

think i've got sleep apnea

>>71068905
Don't FUCKING do it.

DO NOT!

If a cop finds out about this at all, you will be in a prison before you know it.

It doesn't matter what this stupid toasty thinks or how hot you think she is. Do you really want to do 10 years in a concrete cell with murderers and rapists because you thought some dumb 15 year old jail bait was hot?

Cut all connections with her, leave town if you must.

Do NOT go to prison. It's not fucking worth it.

If it's below the legal age, get the fuck away. If she's not at least 18, do not even bother.

Her pussy may as well be hot lava, and her tits unstable plutonium.

>>71069115
bit short sighted of them to put all their important buildings so close to each other really isn't it

eerie how it just glides in
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RpNSF-er88

>>71069133
disregard this, get some sweet 15 yr old poon

>>71068922
Don't have to wait that long, plus I want kids pretty soon desu.

>>71068997
That's nearly a whole year away. Still, worth it though, plus she's really pretty.

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>>71069088
>Fast streamers think they'll be in the SCS with 3 years of work experience

haitiANOnce

Every single one of you is the ugliest person I've ever seen.

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6' vs 5'11

>>71069176
>I'll literally start sometime late this year and be ahead of him and telling him what to do within 3.

I think it's your turn to do the lunch rounds, chicken tikka sandwich for me.

>>71069159
age/2+7

nonce

>>71069190
god i hate brown people

why can't they just fuck off into nonexistence? they're nothing but a burden

>>71069241
just say age divided by 9 next time

couldn't finish again last night while fucking my foreign exchange flatmate again, feel a bit embarrassed and blue balled
this is a warning to all you sub-normies, stop wanking now, it completely de-sensitises your willy to only orgasm when you're whacking it at mach 5

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yes sweety my boyfriend is not my weight xx but the love is still there

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navalkino

>>71069186
haha probably yeah

>>71069241
>this logic

do you count your breaths too?

>>71069186
How can we ALL be the ugliest, Klaus?

Maybe you don't understand English yet, but 'ugliest' is a superlative; there can by definition be only one.

So we can't all be the superlative expression of ugliness you have encountered, that honour would be reserved for only one of us.

>>71069284
good lord

>>71069296
noncery isn't policed by the state lad

>>71069258
mental maths init

>>71069296
It's a meme

>>71069321
that's what your mum said (in response to the size of me johnny, which is ample)

>>71069339
who died and made them the problem definers

am somewhat lactose intolerant, can have about 3 glasses of milk before i start doing rancid farts

>>71069258
nonce

>>71069248
We're better than you filthy kufar

>>71069364
quite pungent....

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The new trail running crepes

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Just finish my tree,took me 6 fucking hours of wiki search.What do you lads think?

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I'm off out lads

>>71069374
>kufar

ah yes your nonexistant misogynistic sky wizard does humanity so many favours

Don't think my bet is coming in lads haha

>>71069364
try A2 milk, normal milk makes my tummy hurt but a2 doesn't

>>71069407
all montenegrins should be killed

>people hate the daily mail because it has the balls to publish things that other papers dont
hmmm really gets the brainwaving

>>71069407
alri stefan jovetic x

>>71069468
Well we will probably get wiped out in the next world war tbch m8 so your wish might come true

whats the longest youve ever gone without wanking?

>>71069472
imagine being this lower class pleb deluded into thinking the DM is a good newspaper

>>71069472
t. Rourke

>>71069517
please tell me where i stated that :^)

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>nonexistant misogynistic sky wizard

>>71069510
2 fuckin mothns

>>71069510
73 minutes and 29 seconds.

>>71069539
cry more

>>71069306
Fuck your English
German is the beautifuliest language

>>71069510
bout 11 years between being born and doing my first

>>71069510
3 weeks, then gave in and tugged it to caty cole

>>71069565
not sure if rasheed or rorke but butthurt either way

Tuesday 3 wanks
Wednesday 1 wank
Thursday 4 wanks
Friday 4 wanks
Today 3 wanks so far

french plates in 6 days

>>71069510
about 12 years and 8 months by my recollection

>people hate the daily mail because it has the balls to publish absolute shite
hmmm really gets the brainwaving

>>71069510
Can't really remember. Think it might be 9 days or so. Currently on 8 days but me thinks I'll do one tonight.

>>71069577
;)

>>71069510
a month

Should I get a PS4 (Pro) or build a gaming PC lads?

The only game on my bet that's still 0-0 is Reading-Barnsley

If there's a goal in that soon it's coming in

>people love the daily mail because it confirms all their unacknowledged biases
hmm really gets the brainwaving

i hate the daily mail even though i don't read it but that's what i'd tell people if they asked

>>71069621
>buy ps4
>play games

>build expensive gaming PC
>use it to browse 4chan
It's your choice mate.

>>71069608
think about me? ;p

>>71069612
not even fair putting timmy and pards in there

>Fifty Shades of Gray

ah yes the essential film for the middle class london commuter female

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>>71069621
PC
why is that even a question ;la might as well get a toaster instead of a ps4

>>71069642
ah yes all of two games

>>71069665
>middle class
>london
>reading 50 shades of grey
hmmmmm

>>71069671
Ah yes le /v/ maymays.

>>71069642
>not playing vidya and shitposting at the same time
get on my level

doing a DJ set lads

my love is underground

>>71069568
> German is a beautiful language
> Die deutsche Sprache ist sicherlich eine Sache der großartigsten Schönheit Ich finde, Sie würden zustimmen mein guter Freund
Sure, Klaus.

>>71068554
told you not to bet on grimsby you gimp

>>71069687
bloodborne, nioh, ..?

in the first few months after i discovered wanking, rather than rubbing it up and down, i did it by jerking it around like a joystick, before acclimating myself to the proper method

anyone else?

why would you use a computer for playing games?

>>71069670
don't have loads of money and i've never built one before

afraid i'd fuck it all up

>>71069701
This post just confirms you're clearly the average retarded leaf.

>>71069693
Can't focus doing that desu lad, have to close 4chan before I fire up the steam or I end up posting too much haha.

>>71069728
I know

I use my computer exclusively to shitpost on /brit/

>>71069738
>afraid i'd fuck it all up
use pcpartpicker and it tells you if you have incompatible parts

>>71069621
pc
>better graphics
>any controller you want
>all games are free if you know how to use a basic bittorrent client
>day to day things on the pc will be faster

it's pretty hard to fuck up building a PC. no point buying a ps4 to play 2 30fps shit games

>>71069726
i did it by rubbing through my clothes

>>71069698
consolation goal is nailed on

>>71069728
how else do you play snake and minesweeper?

>>71069747
any other good ps4 exclusives then? remember that all multiplats are better on pc

>>71069738
https://wiki.installgentoo.com/index.php/Build_a_PC
https://www.reddit.com/r/buildapc/wiki/beginnersguide

now beat it

>>71069726
no but between the ages of 4-11 I'd masturbate by rubbing my little noodle against the edge of the couch like a female. if I put pressure on my junk in just the right way and held it there for like 5-10 seconds, I'd get a wicked 'gasm. after that I learned to jerk off the proper way and bada bing bada boom y'know

computer making terrible rattling sounds but too lazy to open the case and investigate

>>better graphics


This is false. It's not 2006 anymore

>>71069754
i know about that site, but i'd still probably break it or something

couldn't stomach spending £600+ and seeing it go down the drain

could build a gaming pc if i wanted to but i don't trust computers

>>71069696
Did you use Google translate for that? Stupidist

>>71069728
Because board games and card games require another person to be in the same room.

>>71069805
the fucking machine spirit imprisoned inside is trying to get out

>>71069822
putting together the parts is a piece of piss

FIFA online is better on consoles though

>using a desktop in 2017
>not building your own laptop

>>71069805
Just follow the three rules of engineering:

1. Always use the right tool for the job.
2. The right tool is always a hammer.
3. Anything can be used as a hammer.

>Computer games

Fucking stop it

>shitalia

>>71069818
Can do 1080pm and 60fps m8.

When the 360 came out it was better than PCs at the time for the money then was outdated within a year or two.

>>71069818
yeah, hardly any developers really care about pc

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my sides

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Nothing like a nice watch lads

post watches

having a pc is nice because i can stash my cocaine behind the removable front case filter

>>71069701
destiny gta fifa cod etc etc etc....

>>71069863
who the fuck plays fifa past the age of 15

literal manchildren

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>>71069843
>putting together the parts is a piece of piss

Guess I'm just too dumb then

got really worked up doing a wank and came all over my own face and mouth just for a laugh ha ha

>>71069870
when you're 50 you're going to realise that in your haste to grow up you missed out on your youth

>>71069701
>>71069897
actual fucking children

>>71069896
that's one of the first places rozzers check you fucking dumbo

highly recommend asda sweet chilli turkey sausages, lads

How long should you wait to contact a girl after getting her number?

Should I just ask her irl instead when I see her next?

>>71069887
>cherrypicking

>>71069838
> Did you use Google translate for that?
No, I'm fluent in Nazisprache, you bulletheaded kraut retard.

Of course I don't speak Kancërische.

Kill yourself.

>>71069897
not exclusives

>>71069917
not worried about police haitiANO just nosy people

>>71069911
did you taste yourself haha mental

>>71069887
the guy's been president for like 3 weeks

>>71069818
name one game where the graphics are better on console than on pc

>>71069899
t. builds a gaming pc

>>71069887
Why didn't he smile when they took that picture

>>71069905
If you've ever played legos you already know 99% of what putting a PC together is, the 1% is managing your cables and installing the OS
They're literally built to just click together without much if any force

>>71069905
Listen mate its super easy, ignore these wankers linking you pcpartstogether or whatever the fuck this shit is

Sit through a 2 hour Carey Holzman video and you will know exactly what to do by the end of it. This lad is great and has about 50 different variations, the parts you pick will probably have been done by him before

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zOYdNEHDQo

>>71069931
doesn't really make a difference 2bh

she will have plenty of other blokes texting her already you will just be another to add to the list she won't give it a second thought if you message her now or in 2 weeks

>>71069963
except for the cpu lever
fuck that

>>71069652
Are you a gril?

>>71069695
GOOD lad

even low end graphics today are MORE THAN good enough

You fucking runts are never satisfied

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Let's be honest here

Drumpf is literally the worst president the USA has ever had

>>71069947
#notmypresident

>Playing Fifa
Oh to be 15 again

>>71069951
I didn't say its better

Its not 2006 anymore, new generation consoles have equivalent graphics for about 3x lower price

NAME ONE GAME WHERE THE GRAPHICS ARE BETTER ON CONSOLE THAN ON PC

>>71069960
all gaming past the age of 15 is for fucking manchildren

/r/buildapc hates optical drives
do children these days not have respect for the superior quality of physical media

>>71069621
>build a gaming PC lads

It will be obsolete every 2 years unless you pay £200 to upgrade it, they are really expensive and a pain in the arse to play on

get a laptop and a ps4

don't let the elitist autists fool you trust me I fell for the PC gaming meme

>>71069870
Reminder that video games have long surpassed film as the most effective medium for entertainment in the genres of horror, action, adventure, mystery, educational, science fiction, and fantasy.

>>71069999
>9999
kek has betrayed us

THE RUSSIANS HACKED THE SUPER BOWL

#NOTMYSUPERBOWL

FAKE NEWS IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE PATRIOTS'S WIN

>>71069979
Grow up

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chilling out listening to the ol 'brah

>>71069999
>>71070000
/int/ BTFO

>>71070017
fuckin idiot

>l-le graphics are b-better on l-le PC!!!

Its not 2006 anymore you fucking cretin. You can spend £400 on a PS4 and get the same graphics as a £1200 PC

>>71069992
graphic whores are cancer desu

while i'm not saying that graphics should be ignored, they shouldn't be the selling point of a game

<<71070048
bait

>>71070016
damn straight

my pc has a floppy drive and firewire jacks, just to stic it to those reddit nerds

>>71070011
>equivalent graphics
yeah 30fps is surely equivalent to 60+ fps

>>71070032
I have

I've learned the truth

>>71070048
PC's aren't just for gaming

I literally do not give a fuck about games

PC era has ended, it is far better to get a console nowadays

>>71069936
So what you said two games

>>71070066
yes a blu ray is on the same tier as a floppy disc

>>71069963
>>71069973
hmmm ok

thanks lads

>discussing video games
this must be the lowest point of /brit/

>>71068114
>>71068162
>smoking sets off the fire alarm

"No."

I smoke indoors directly under the smoke detector, and it's never gone off. Goes off all the time when I'm making toast, though.

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I miss Dubya

>>71070000
>bloke at work trying to talk me about games
>all he plays is fifa and cod

Makes it really awkward desu

>>71070086
t. radical nihilist

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doom 1440p ultra 60+ fps

won't find this on consoles

>>71070034
my sister was doing this earlier

>>71070014
bloodborne

>>71070041
ah yes great argument sperg

Tell people how your better than everyone else at playing computer games

Don't give a single shit about vidya

maybe when they create a virtual reality world with graphics that match the real world and ability to interact with intelligent AI I will check it out but until then I won't be touching the stuff

>>71070094
its because its a heat alarm dumbass

>>71070073
Maybe you got the number from the wrong women then or you missed out because you never texted her

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>tfw to smart to be a pc gamer

>>71070048
this 2bh

>>71070120
this is why no one likes the irish

go outside and check those graphics out

>PCgaming
no thanks i'm not a virgin lol

Went down the road to the pub to watch the rugby
and the maitre d' said they aren't taking walk-ins at the moment. Gonna have to watch it on a shitty stream on my laptop zzzz

If you played the COD series after MW2 came out, you're part of the problem

would rather be a low wage pleb in the north than have a high salary and have to live in london.

>>71070095
dude
the surge
lmao

>>71070129
>dumbass

Fuck off yank

>>71070086
LOOK AT ME I'M TOO GOOD FOR VIDEOGAMES

I DO GROWN UP THINGS LIKE MOAN ABOUT COMPLETE STRANGERS DISCUSSING THINGS I'M NOT INTERESTED IN

>>71069887
all 3 have very spooky eyes

>complaining about videogames on a literal manchild forum

Bit embarrassing that you care enough about computer games to argue over them 2bh

>>71070140
you're the laughingstock of the world m9

>>71070170
>>71070170

>>71070133
the basket isn't attached to the brain!! is he /fit/ as well as /int/elligent

>>71070177

>>71070177

>>71070177

NEW

>>71070146
is that the fucking hwndu exhibit
what is he doing in america

>>71070148
What are you doing here then?

>>71070129
By that logic it would literally never stop during the height of Summer.

Besides which, smoke does trigger it. If I'm cooking something extra greasy and there's smoke, that is. Cigarettes and DUDE WEED never set it off.

>>71070150
black ops was better than mw2

in all honesty i think mw2 was leagues more cancerous than black ops with all those 14 year old quickscope tryhards

>>71070183
>>71070202
fukn morones

>>71069284
Looks like a dinosaur hand

>>71069935
Go fuck yourself Canadian fucknut