/brit/

maisie.

First for The United States of America™: Greatest Country on Earth

>>70965033
wuddup muricaboi

va

What youtube channels do you lads susbscribe to? Need some more funny/interesting shit to fill my NEET life with

I'm already subscribed to:
>lindybeige
>LAHWF
>alt shift x
>tom scott
>nerdwriter1

Anime

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uno gato

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the bird

aboot

haha oi oi!

My dad asked if I wanted a lift to work, I completely ignored him

He left a new Nike jacket on my bed when I got back
Pakis literally wear sports clothing to weddings and shit

i'll ask AGAIN
so tomorrow do i:
a) skip my first lecture, get slightly behind on that module and revise for the workshop i have in one of my other modules
b) go to the first lecture, wing the workshop (i.e probably fail it)

>>70968585
Barshens

>>70968179
>told girl i like her on msn
>was basically in love with her
>couple of weeks later drunk in a park with the lads and our corresponding girl group of friends which she was one of
>end up walking her home
>arms round each other as we walk
>my had is on her tit
>her hand is down my trousers on my arse
>asks me if i still fancy anyone
>i say n-no hehe
>she says oh but i thought you liked me
>i want so much to say yes but i'm too fucking scared to admit it in person despite the circumstances
>tell her i stopped liking her
>never get the chance with her again

yep. my most autistic moment by far. horrifyingly painful memory 2bqh and a completely true story

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>>70968584
gonna drop you like a bad habit, mate

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>>70968585
these 2bh

>>70968635
jesus

>>70968592

>>70968635
fucking christ

70968620
Really don't care

Just fuck off

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I've got the day off work tomorrow, 2 grams of cocaine, 4 grams of weed, 2 blueberry flavour blunt wraps, 8 cans of Tyskie and a box of shite ales some twat gave me for Christmas that's sat in my car for weeks, 40 cigarettes and about 30GB of choice pornography. I think it's fair to say I'm in for a FAR better night than anyone else in /brit/ tonight

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really getting a "I'm the only trans in the village" vibe from poley

>>70965033
Greatest meme on earth

>>70968620
wow you sound like a prick

no need to snub your dad

>>70968620
Is your dad nearly 80 years old jimmy

>pure runt posts face because of one acne spot in desperate attempt to be called handsome
>now posting body shots

will thoroughly never understand the narcissism of some people

>>70968628
a) just download the lecture slides and read a bit on it when you;ve got time

>>70968585
Nile Wilson is a male gymnast, he does some mad shit

>>70968620
you're mentally ill

How to know when you've had enough

1. Scooting off the couch lands you on the floor
2. You tell your gf that men are subjected to a ridiculously exclusivistic matriarchy
3. That's not true because you're a lonely virgin
4. It is true and you're saying you're a lonely virgin in order to garner laughter

>>70968642
not a chance

im in equally as good shape but probably better than you and having muscles that look nice in no way makes you a good fighter you feminine ponce

behave

>>70968602
Dra åt helvete AAAAAJJJJJ VITTUUUUUU

>>70968692
yeah i think i'll do that, thanks lad x

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>>70968592
>>70968656

>>70968642
you realise this pic is erotic, not intimitading

>>70968691
that body shot gets posted here all the time you spaz
probably from /fit/

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>>70968635

>>70968642
>muh aesthetics
You're a literal woman mate

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>tfw no coldblooded murderess gf

*arrives to the thread with beer*
*everyone cheers as I toss around cans of coors light*

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me

>>70968664
I'm off work tomorrow too.

Can I come round? I'm being serious, if I live near you I will drive through.

>>70968719
got something for you

>>70968659
>>70968650
good thing i can laugh about it now ey lads haha

>>70968746
must have tuned it out desu haha

>>70968760
well it's not pbr

>>70968684
My dad is a rapist and mentally abused me

>>70968690
Paki, like 50

>>70968701
Not diagnosed though I've learned I'm still on my GP register until 5th March

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>>70968743

>>70968760
Are they 330ml?

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>>70968730
my slag

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I CANT BELIEVE HE SAID YES XX

>>70968765
>muscle implants
>become a fake freak even to strongmen and bodybuilders

Would honestly rather get caught on a porn site than on /b/ such a deranged place the only good thing about it is that it acts as a normie filter

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>>70968785

>>70968766
where you at bro

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>My dad is a rapist and mentally abused me

can you lads stop replying to this fucking psychotic tranny?

it fucks off if you don't engage it for a while

>>70968795
aaaaaaaJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJAAAAAAAAA HELL SEAGER

>>70968800
Why does the right one say fat bitch?

>>70968760
*tries to catch one but misses with my spastic hands*
*it hits me in the face and i pick it up from the floor*
h-haha!

>>70968800
the absolute state of that fingernail

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>>70968744
you're erotic.

>>70968812
Sheffield.

We can get some girls too.

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>mentally abused me

>>70968833
it says your an anorexic cunt


stay jealous of mee xx

>>70968869
bender

How does a person learn to sit still constantly act like I've swallowed a vibrator

>don't visit /brit/ for a few days
>poleaboo is now a tripfag
>doesn't even get banned any more

/brit/ is truly dead.

>>70968856
where the fuck is your muscle you utter runt

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rate my bird

creme fraishe

>>70968892
poleaboo is the best poster here

Is it OK if I buy a pokemon T-shirt from Primary?

>>70968821
It's truel
Feeling bad about the jacket, maybe he has a heart

>>70968823
Actually it's because I have a fucking job, NEETshit

done absolutely no work today lads wahey

goodnight

someone tuck me in please?

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>>70968785
Ah yes. You know the drill.

>>70968856
nah i've seen you posting before you're a twat

>>70968892
/brit/ has been fucked since last summer when it was filled with reddit and facebook cretins and they decided to stay instead of leaving

>>70968891
share a bed with a girl 2bh

stuck a vibrator up my ass and put it in some british mong's cereal
he's been jumping all over the place ever since

>>70968892
Poleaboo has been tripfagging for a bit now.

filter, report and move on

>>70968936
This 2bh

>>70968928
No I'm not. The people here just wind me up.

I can fetch some acid and a couple girls and we can just get fucked.

Bit upset at the end of the Poley/Janny wars
Very anticlimactic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHqOp21jBpI

>>70968869
You have no idea

Imagine having a father who can't speak English that makes you do menial tasks for him because he can't himself
And threatens you when you disobey

>>70968917
Thanks

>>70968969
nonce

Ay anon, heads!

*tosses a wrench at you*

Cereal seemed hard to swallow today and tasted AWFUL never buying bran flakes again

>>70968990
If he doesn't have the physical strength to do menial tasks how the fuck does he threaten you?

Utter runt

So thinking of buying clothes at Primark

Maybe get some girl t-shirts?

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>>70968853
>the northern pooerhouse

>>70969008
*catches it without even looking*
heh, nice throw kid

>>70968972
clearly a twat

definitely uneducated too lol

>>70968969
Road, house and driveway is so stereotypically yank it hurts

>>70968912
I'd rather be obese than look like this

>>70969008
*dodges it with my cat-like reflexes*
waheyy be careful fella you could hurt someone haha

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me at the weekend

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>>70969030
great stuff

imagine trying to brag about how cool you are and then getting rejected to hang out by someone on /brit/ lmao

poleaboo, wanna be my best m8?

>>70969030
>Maybe get some girl t-shirts?


deffo, will b qt :p

>>70969068
G r i m

>>70969044
Clearly how?

We could be having a foursome with 2 nice girls and you turn this down?

>>70968972
ah yes let me share the hundreds of pounds worth of drugs i have with some self absorbed twat off /int/ ah yes very impressive.

>>70969074
Brutal

>>70969072
she has her legs cut off at the knee?

how did tat happen

Have no respect for you if you:
>Are Poleaboo
>Reply to Poleaboo's posts

>>70969045
looks a thousand times better than anywhere here

>>70969025
Menial shit like making calls and reading letters

Threats like shouting and saying he'd leave my family to fend for themselves (mum is disabled and he's ruined her life already)

>>70969079
Yes, please

>>70969072
Gonna get mostly boy clothes and one girl T-shirt, don't want to look like a creep browsing the women's section too long

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70969040
Fuck off you mongy leaf.

>>70969121
shark attack

>>70969128
is she back? havent read a single poast above yours if im honest

>>70969110
don't you have your own friends?

>>70969074
>>70969119

just filtered 'boo enjoying thread again

>diversity quotas

the absolute most mental thing

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Hmm

>>70969135
>Yes, please


okay la, lets get it on

I'm pretty socially affluent and know many SJW dicknoses who will accept you as one of their own

>>70969135
>mum is disabled
You're all disabled. How the fuck did you get in this country?

Broken Britain indeed

>>70969175
reckon mah negga could win the oscar just for that

>>70969128
good post

>>70969147
>she

>>70969156
Not with so many drugs.

2 nice girls, acid and some booze for some coke and weed. Seems like a good trade. I can even fetch my own weed.

>>70969074
Now I'm sad, but I wasn't trying to brag

Might do a nice relaxing cry before bed

>>70969180
Kek

>>70969211
fuck off rorke

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70969189

>>70969175
I applied to the fire department recently and one of the person specification requirements along with numeracy, literacy, being fit and able to swim etc etc was and I quote

"A commitment to diversity and equality"

>>70969218
Haha nerd

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>>70969147

>>70969237
see >>70969224

>>70969221
haha kek xD praise kek meme magic xP

can't even remember when I last cried

do you other depressed lads ever cry?

why are you replying to it?

lads what kino should I watch tonight?

>>70969254
New cunt

>>70969257
would not even heem one of these bints

*imports 1 million Muslim neuroscientists*
Haha fuck Gary his ideas are wrong unlike all these smart Muhammeds

>>70969278
Heat

>>70969229
my county fire department has turned away white men who are excellent candidates because they didn't have any more room in their racial and gender quota for white men

>>70969262
I cried three times in my adult life

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>>70969224

>>70969262
No

Kind of wish I could cry sometimes but it just doesn't occur

>>70969262
used to cry a lot after breaking up with my ex

that's about it definitely haven't cried recently

Need a binder for my breasts

>>70969147
Read my blog, I'm not enjoying working life

>>70969100
I'm hoping for a Pokemon one and to find the womems T-shirt area quickly, don't want tyo wonder into lingerie

>>70969190
You in Manchester

>>70969194
My Great Grandfather immigrated here
I'm 4th gen but my family kept marrying 1st gens

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>>70969287
not even 'lottie?

>>70969278
Lickdicki vs Pakipoo XXX compilation Vol. 3

>>70969180
>Muhammad the neurologist
H O W L I N G

>>70969262
you're clearly not depressed then if you can't cry you absolute poser

>waah waah im soooo sad pooh ;(((( let me just tell everyone on social media ;))))

fuck off

>>70969278
Love Live

>>70969262
Nah, only ever cried when I've forced myself to out of some kind of morbid curiosity.

>>70969320
> he thinks depression is just a word for feeling sad
Lol

>>70969297
Did they have fireman degrees or something?

>>70969312
tits like that just look shite. too big

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Post the most boring shit you have to do at to work lads. I spend AN HOUR AND A HALF today explaining to a fleet manager why under the Road Traffic Act 1988 liability for fines imposed for traffic offences cannot be transferred from the registered keeper of a hire vehicle (the hire firm itself) to the firm who hired the vehicle without a lease agreement with clearly defined start and end dates

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>>70969300

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Every Lesbian I know owns a pair of Doc Marten shoes or boots they ordered off the internet.

>>70969298
>>70969303
>>70969308
*furiously scrawls into notepad*

hypothesis: crying may be beneficial for maintaining a healthy emotional state

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>what do you want to drink anon?

>>70969278
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fire_Within

WHY WON'T YOU LET ME PARTY WITH YOU?!

FUCK SAKE!

At least reply to me and tell me why

>>70969320
Haha mate I'm more depressed than ever and mostly it's more like just not being able to feel anything most of the time.

>>70969366
piss in my mouth please

>>70969366
Pear 'der

>>70969366
c-coke cheers

>>70969366
Wow your head is massive

I'll have a lambrini

>>70969341
no you paki cunt they're in top physical shape and scored top marks on the firefighting exam

*scribbles in trapper keeper* brit is full of nonces

>>70969320
I am without a doubt depressed and have been for most of my adult life and would never describe it as feeling "sad"

sadness isn't something I ever really feel

>>70969351
did she get KOJIMA'D?

>>70969366
Just some water please, with ice. Only the crushed ice

>>70969381
because fuck you thats why

>>70969308
hahaha can't even imagine being this normie

>>70969320
daft post

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>>70969387
>mid West girls

>>70969351
tell stories about the lesbians you know

>>70969340
depression doesn't exist

Haven't had a good cry in yonks lads
Reckon my tear ducts might be broken haha

>>70969366
cornetto

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the Canadian gf

>>70969425
Potato famine

>>70969416
NO!

I demand a real fucking explanation.

I offered to fetch 2 FIT girls that I know for a FACT would be down to shag as well as other sweeteners and he said no. I am having a hard time comprehending this.

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>A man was charged today over a race attack on a pregnant woman who later lost her unborn twin babies.
>David Gallacher, 37, is accused of assaulting the Muslim mum-to-be by kicking her in the stomach. He also allegedly attacked a man who tried to intervene during the incident near a Co-op store in Milton Keynes, Bucks., last August.
>The unnamed Somalian woman, who is a mum-of-four, was forced to flee her home in fear as a result of the assault. She had not known she was expecting twins until medics told her she had lost them following the assault. Her 40-year-old husband has had to give up his job as a taxi driver to stay home and reassure his traumatised wife.
>David Gallacher, 37, is accused of assaulting the mum-to-be by kicking her in the stomach as she walked close to a mosque near this Co-op store in Milton Keynes
>Gallacher was today charged with assault causing actual bodily harm, assault by beating and two counts of racially/religiously aggravated assault.

Another Rorke arrested, a good day indeed

>>70969308
Back to Facebook and Snapchat with you you utter runt

>>70969425
why didnt they just fish

>>70969425
doctors and scientists disagree across the board

so frankly your opinion is worth less than dogshit on this matter

>>70969418
neither could i. normiedom sort of sprang out of nowhere

>>70969447
Don't worry he's a soup-taker

>>70969381
meet at the tescos on fulwood road near tom lane in half an hour i'll be in a black 2015 ford focus

>>70969447
never happened either

>>70969448
Uh oh... Janny... JANNY HELP

>>70969448
>tfw my face will NEVER be that seat

>>70969366
a grolsch please

in a stemmed beer glass

>>70969448
Morning lad.

Got a picture of a bird sitting on a bike that has a dildo instead of a seat in a file somewhere, thanks for reminding me.

>called GP in January asking to be removed from their list
>they tell me it's done
>receive a letter today telling me that I'll be removed in March because the surgery claimed I lived outside the region/boundary

I want to believe my GP wanted to keep me on until I got counselling

>>70969395
A fire monkey is a fire monkey

>>70969453
Thought the whole "punch your gf in the stomach to abort the baby" thing was a joke

>>70969448
fucking christ that looks sumptuous

tell stories about lesbians you've encounteerd

>>70969451
fuck off

haitiANO

>>70969508
Can you get an arse like hers
>>70969448

>>70969547
I dog sat for a pair

>>70969547
Shan't

>>70969453
eh, she already had 4 kids so it's probably for the best

>>70969483
I'm in no fit state to drive and you said tomorrow.

Plus, if I get another 3 points I'll lose my licence.

>>70969411
metal gear solid reference

>>70969424
I really don't talk with any but I know of many because some of my sperg friend's friends overlap with the SJW/tumblr/lesbian/mentally ill crowd. Another trend I noticed is that they tend to do terribly in school and work a string of no-skill jobs whose salary is erased by tattoos, going to concerts and "cons" (only stupid poor people do both of these but they do it the most) though many of them come from middle to upper middle class households.

Dyed hair, Doc Martens mixed with generic and ugly cheap clothes is how they're identified. Something else strange I noticed is that regardless of household income level they tend to have awful teeth hygiene.

>>70969574
What a lil BITCH

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quick lads teach me how to make witty comebacks

>>70969547
one told me i had nice eyes

>>70964899
Sophie is a fucking bitch

monica's bp belongs to white men

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https://videos.funker530.com/bitmotive/public/funker530/v1.0/videos/funker530/48a166753e8d16714f78c24685fb699d/854x480.mp4

War is hell lads

>>70969565
I can't into jogging

But I'm OK with squats

>>70969576
wew talk about erection defection

UGH lads breakups are SO hard omg cried after breaking up with my gf of 1 year. Then I went out drinking and clubbing with the lads (we all wear skinny jeans and wear tight tops-i can curl 40kg). Then I made a Snapchat while drunk and then Gavin the absolute madman pulled some ugly bint!! Haha

>>70969528
>>70969528
ah yes because blunt force trauma to the area with delicate fetus' in would absolutely in no way be a health risk to them

>>70969574
you're a fucking idiot you think i bought a load of cocaine and you think i wont be smashing it all and using my day off to sleep? you're a moron my friend

>>70969616
Um.. arse develops through deadlifts sweetie

>>70969604
Damn right

>>70969612
go be a peacenik somewhere else you limp dicked bastard

>>70969621
fuck off normie runtoid

>>70969639
I'll give you some blunt force trauma in a minute you fucking fetus

>>70969647
Have you ever gotten shagged before?

monica is a slut name

desu my punching power/speed and accuracy are all lethal

my form is immaculate, my timing is critical

I will destroy you

>>70969648
What are we fighting for? What are we hoping to achieve? This war is pointless and probably only making things worse

>>70969684
Can you stop replying to it please

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the gf

>>70969690
*shoots you*

heh, nothing personnel.

>>70969644
You don't want to sniff coke off 2 fit girls and shag them for hours on end but instead want to do it all by yourself..

Was on the ol 'book the other day (I have 1200 friends you see) and got invited to a party by micko the absolute lad! It was great, top slags were there, even pulled one myself. It all ended in tears when 2 lads got into a fight over an epic FIFA game though!

>>70969571
she needed to make two more, it only makes sense considering her husband is a taxi driver.
and it's the british taxpayer's duty to support them

Poleaboo it's the Salford lad again you up for getting your arsehole full of spunk?

>>70969711
brap

>>70969697
fewer shitskins on the planet is always a good thing

doesn't matter in the slightest how it's achieved

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Was going to keep posting here but the vibe I'm getting is bigoted racist mixed with loserly virgin.

>>70969760
OK grandpa

Think I'm going to sleep now, got work tomorrow

Night night NEETscum

>>70969684
Never

My families paki upbringing is probably why two of my cousins have fallen head over heels for the first two leaches who showed them any affection

>>70969689
Guilty

>>70969738
Yes but I'm not ready to present as female

I'll make you mighty happy that I'm your girl

we'll fly through the sky and go out of this world

worried for mons physical and mental health :c x|

mr cool and boastful grows more desperate as he realises that even guys on /brit/ think he's a twat and don't want to hang out

>>70964899
http://nutiminn.is/falin-myndavel-12-ara-strakur-bidur-steinhissa-folk-um-eld-ma-ekki-neitt-eda/

>12yo boy asks people for a light
>all the women start lecturing about "cigarettes are bad for you m'kay" one even mentions of how she helps syrians 2 times a week
>all the guys give him a light

What would you do /brit/?
I would probably hand him the tobacco can and the syringe and ask him if he wanted in the lip

>>70969769
Good piss off you blubbery cunt

>>70969748
the injured guy is a 'shitskin' who was fighting on our side

>>70969769
Oh no a yank is leaving

Fuck Off

Sheila asked me to spunk inside her yesterday...Dropped her immediately. Posted on FB shortly after about how complicated things are now. After my fifa ultimate team game with nick shagged some random slag

>>70969769
trayvon demarcus

about to roll my first ever joint


worried ill get cancer lads

listening to cky

>>70969732
oh shut up you bellend you just seem fucking sad who begs to join someone else's fun night on the internet besides you're probably some student twat you've got no business with real sheff lads

>>70969769
don't go please
you were my favorite poster

>>70969801
i didn't watch your runtoid video i don't give a fuck if someone wants to go fight that's their prerogative

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I was going to leave (no offense to /brit/ mind you) but the outside of this thread is full of insufferable normalfags and leftists.

>>70969791
i've had kids ask me for a light quite a few times

if I just mindlessly react like I would with any other person I would give them it, but that happened like once

usually I just tell them no and walk off, without lecturing them

>>70969612
What conflict is this from lad?

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>not a chad at a yank uni

>>70969838
Fuck you then.

I'm going to buy my own coke and have these cunts all to myself.

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Bobby Sands was braver than any brit who ever lived

>>70969859
your mum's arse

>>70969865
Runt

>>70969854
good lad

>>70969829
Pics

>>70969870
who?

>>70969865
don't refer to women as cunts you pig

>>70969875
there'd be more men on the battlefield in that case nomsayin

the runt bacons at midnight

>>70969829
dont worry about it lad the chances of getting cancer from that are probably pretty low


and even if you do, lung cancer takes decades of damaging your lungs to develop and by the time we're old cancer will be a thing of the past. live life on the edge

>>70969870
bet he was more of a craver too haha

>>70969859
Afghanistan

>>70969893
They are filthy cunts and they're still gonna fuck me raw.

>>70969919
the cure already exists. big pharma just dont want us having it

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>>70969870
Think Cromwell was braver

he beheaded the king

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-38904863

I voted for this cuck

just a fucking intense poshy lads

feel good now as well since it's easy cleanup

>>70969884
>>70969919
gotta run up the shop quick ill post some later la

mr cool resigns, exclaiming he shall get his own cocaine and do it with girls - a situation the other lad could not give a fuck about seeing as he rejected mr cools offer of exactly that

truly dark days

>>70969829
i'm 27 and have been smoking at least 20 cigarettes and 3-5 joints every day for 12 years and i'm yet to notice any health impact whatsoever

>>70969948
>voting lib-dem
HOWLING

>Live in student halls
>Fwb on the same floor as me
>Fuck every night

Dont know how someone couldn't pull during freshers

>>70969938
fuck off and take the mentally ill attack helicopter with you

>>70969909
only watch the first 30 seconds but it looks like afghanistan to me

REALLY want a jewish gf even though i hate jews and think hitler was right

>>70969961
Obviously there are health impacts, you just don't notice them because they build up slowly over years.

>>70969977
FONT

>>70969946
it's the autistic chartist runt again

fuck off traitor

>>70969960
Lol utterly rekt

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>>70969956
good lad

>>70969961
there will definitely be damage to your lungs by now. if you stop early enough the damage will repair itself.

>>70969948
Can't imagine being married to such an overly dramatic cunt 2bh

>>70969970
>not voting for the most radical center party

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>>70970000
hitler was a nonce

I like girls with big heads

>>70969961
bullshit, go for a run and see how you feel

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>>70969941
i believe you 100%

>>70970011
they lesbains? they eat the cuny?

why is sex without consent (i.e. rape) so horrible and traumatic for women but not for men?

just had a posh wank

>>70969977
>>70970004
either of you heard anything about North Arizona uni got a chance to do 6 months there

>>70970011
keep posting

>>70970003
Yeah but I'm far healthier than a lot of people that never smoked. I signed up for a weekend medical trial about 6 months ago which paid £1000 and my lung capacity, blood pressure, heart rate were excellent and extensive blood tests found no issues whatsoever

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>>70970075

>>70970074
Go to Arizona State instead

>i'm *coughs* 27 and have been smoking at least 20 cigarettes *clears throat* and 3-5 joints every day for 12 years and i'm yet to notice any health impact whatsoever *runs out of breath*

>>70970084
good for you

In 1996, Thordis Elva shared a teenage romance with Tom Stranger, an exchange student from Australia. After a school dance, Tom raped Thordis, after which they parted ways for many years. In this extraordinary talk, Elva and Stranger move through a years-long chronology of shame and silence...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oX_sO0nyM2M

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>>70970031
>hes proud of destroying this
the UK fucked up big time there lad, just admit it

>>70970054
different power dynamics

>>70970090
something high res

I remember when I registered at college they gave me a goody bag thing with a jonny in it

had a posh wank that night

>>70970074
*their :)

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>>70970106
dont have anything better

>>70970084
Yes yes of course and you have a genius level IQ too even though you did badly at school

>>70970040
fun fact: johan cruyff smoked 20 cigarettes a day throughout his football career and was one of the greatest of all time

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>70970074
most directional schools are shit.

>>70970120
>>70970120
>>70970120

>>70970054
probably not as apparent because of the way women and men are, but it aint fuckin pleasant. you ever been raped?

>>70970093
thats the only choice in USA its some kind of quid quo pro with both unis exchanging students

>>70970121
wow! literally me

>>70970021
i always vote for the one that hates pakis the most desu