/brit/

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the gf

that's the best you could come up with?

Why are oriental brits ridiculously posh? Then do porn.

RIP John Hurt aka Gandalf

don't come to my city

>>70492743
Post yours

>>70492752
Keni Styles isn't that posh

business idea: road safety adverts where cartoon hedgehogs sing to the tune of Bee-Gees songs

>ah yes i am EXCLUSIVELY attracted to females but love nothing more than watching a big massive cock fucking them totes straight tho

benders in denial

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5XJhS-UgcM

is this quintessential british culture?

the bf (male)

>>70492797
the fuck do you watch? lesbian porn? watching heterosexual sex makes you gay now?

found it easier just to admit i'm bent твн

guarantee my life is the most pathetic here

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which japanese gf do you want?

>>70492832
>watching a guy fuck a girl
Yes

>>70492797
t. very insecure about his small freckled penis

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>>70492714
where the fuck is rosy?

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I know.... I can't believe it either sometimes. But this is what living your truth looks like. It's not that I was never happy. I'm just happy-ER (I know it's incorrect spelling, you get it) now that I'm my authentic self. Look at that cute boy to the left I love him because without him there would be no me. Dawn Marie. The woman on the right is so thankful for that happy soul :) LIVE YOUR LIFE AND BE HAPPY!

>>70492841
No mine is for sure 2bh

Just seen a Syrian family refused entry to the US. They had sold everything, even the family pet. Now DJT has condemned them to a life of nothing

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Tinkered with my thinker

>>70492853
absolute weapon of a head

>>70492841
I'm a paid member of the lib dems

Have a great deal of trouble finding simulated virtual pov sex porn with no dick.

>>70492797

yeah because you want to see how a girl takes a dick, sucks and takes a facial

HILARIOUS when an insecure poof tries to fit in with the lads. lesbian porn is boring as fuck, straight men don't watch lesbian stuff.

>>70492765
what are YOU going to do about it

>>70492886
Stop being a pornography addict

>>70492885
we have a winner

Our house is a very, very fine house (fine house). With two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard. Now everything is easy cause of>>70492833

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>>70492853
>that fucking face

>>70492888
straight men do watch lesbian stuff m8 but it is boring as fuck if you're used to watching bukakke gangbangs

>>70492888
>real men watch guys fuck women

>>70492714
>tfw no beth gf

I'm straight but I only watch gay porn

>>70492767
Just trying to bait you into posting more desu lad haha

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me n the missus

>>70492871
http://www.snopes.com/vanilla-ice-cream-black/

Spare a gf?

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Porn rots your mind

I'm bent but I only watch straight porn

>>70492958
Darn right it does

>>70492871
umm what is liquorice?

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stop watching porn

>>70492958
Okay, now where are the nudes?

WTF is Mia Khalifa doing?

http://www.camwhores.tv/videos/206104/mia-khalifa-webcam-show/

tranny porn ISNT gay

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honestly lads if i could brutally murder every guardian writer on earth i would do it

Have a literally perfect ten foreign celebrity into me.
Crippling social skills though. Wonder if that her thing.

guys I've been trolled on the internet

do I call the police?

>>70492960
victim of heteronormativity, i'm so sorry, what can i do to atone for your suffering?

>>70493001
You could wind up in gaol wouldn't risk it.

>>70492989
(((Edelstein)))

EVERY time

>Me: Generic opener
>Her: What haha
>Me: Explain I was drunk
>Her Oh God haha

What do I do now or is it lost

>>70492991
Alri turtleneck

>>70493001
are you a celebrity?
if not I wouldn't bother

>>70493001
nah have a wank

scared to be intimate with anyone in case they laugh at my tiny penis

>>70492977

stop murdering people

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>>70493002
*notices bulge* OwO what's this?

>>70493042
I wouldn't, I'd kiss it x

how do I dump a girl that thinks everything is fine

been together for only 3 months but I've realised I want out. also, I think she may really like me.

How do anime fags come up with their memes? I never see them communicating in a rational manner. So can't see how meme formation is possible.

>>70492871
God I fucking hate white people

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why would you want a warm neck in australia of all places

>>70492977
Let's see what Varg wants me to stop today!

>>70493067
pretend to be gay

>>70493080
phimosis jumper

>>70493067
three simple words, "i am gay"

>>70493080
He's so cute

A women once said its too big and we ended up just having pizza together.

Started on the booze early today. Two tins down and two more to go before half twelve.

>>70492977
xD

>>70492977
number 6 would be good for me

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hmmmmm

dont rate british girls in the slightest

they are all either vile disgusting slags or hilariously stuck up
in many cases (i would argue in all cases) both

'thats rather bigoted of you' i might hear you say

wrong. if i ever find one that isnt as described above ill let you know

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>>70493089
Hmmm guess it's time to give up on my wiafu
can somebody take care of her for me

fucking hell, im already starting to worry about work on monday

there's truly no respite is there?

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>A women once said its too big and we ended up just having pizza together.

>>70493124
lunatic

>>70493071
intriguing post

>>70493112
your stomach?

>>70493112
haha yeah I know that feeling, the last girl who went in my room ran out after seeing how big my belly is...think she was scared of being crushed....

wish she'd been kind enough to have piza though haha

>>70492740
P E C K H A M
E
C
K
H
A
M

>>70493124
god windows has fucking horrific font rendering

>cute youtubers face reveal video is also her last
Wonder what happens desu

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>>70493137
Should have tried harder in school and got a better job

Constructed a new emoticon, check it out
\(o_o )z

>>70493124
I wouldn't expected more considering his acting career. Some Hollywood actors make this much on one or two movies.

>>70493177
Jealous bf killed her

>>70493156
>implying people from the 'narm post on /brit/

>>70493177
When you reveal your face, your face reveals you. Eyes are the mirror of the soul, and the abattoir of lies.

cant even kill myself like a man
im good for nothing

helo i want to work in united kingdom as plumber what i doing to sucess

John Hurt wasn't that good of an actor

>>70493222
except trips

>>70493228
perform the goat ritual

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sarah's doing well for herself, nice to know we've got strong powerful wimmin in our academia

I am a Graduate Teaching Assistant in BSc Psychology at Leeds Beckett University and am undertaking a PhD, researching women of colour's experiences of the National Child Measurement Programme. My research interests include feminism, gender, ethnicity, social class, intersectionality, mothering, and critical obesity.

I am a very active and passionate feminist; I have been on BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour discussing lad culture and sexism in university elections

and btw, her dad
http://www.birmingham.ac.uk/staff/profiles/education/gillborn-david.aspx

>>70493229
racist

>>70493222
Wish I was brave to tolerate a bit of pain. Stab myself in the chest or in the gut like those Japs did.

>>70493241
no asking fast food burgers for answer!
heil queen

A lot of famous people will die this year.

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Cor Blimey!

>>70492977
Hmmm

By the orificity vested in pee as Pooreshitdent by the Constipation and laws of the Poonited Shites of America, it is hereby ordered as follows:

>>70493246
Don't like coloureds to be honest.

>>70493198
u got me tbqh, actually live in Camberwell ;^)

>>70493261
yes this is the problem
im too scared of the pain

>>70493229
You might have better luck with this bait on /tv/. m80

It's so obvious they're going to get rid of Trump at some point and install Pence as President.

>>70493299
of the world?

i cen speek englisch very wel gradueted from many scohols in poolanmd i can plumb rtoo
how i into britain, rule britanika
ps heil queen

>>70493313
that would be a real shock

>>70493246
Who the fuck are these meme people?

Do their jobs simply exist to offer talking head positions on BBC/Channel 4 news?

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>>70493277

>>70493299
why?

he's even worse than trump in the eyes of the liberals

he literally wants to electrocute gay people

that's why trump chose him as VP so they wouldn't try to kill him

thought they meant this guy and i was like wtf hes been dead forever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85BvT5X6WSo

next time i take the metro ill pounce on the rails
theyll see...

do you support israel or palestine or neither

>>70492977
Ok

>>70493337
i think geys deserve deth
trump is good president and so is pentse
ps heil queen

ahh yes, I shall definitely be replying to the p*le

>>70493379
don't give a shit about pakis or jews

>>70493379
Both, a two state solution is the most effective way to bring about peace

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>>70492853
her jewellery is making me physically sick

she looks like she absolutely stinks of various manures and slimes

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women

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>Hello, my name is President Fart

>>70493379
i support britain
ps god save queen

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*unsheaths katana*

>>70493379

nuke the whole lot

Guys just imagine the statisfaction of getting 10k likes on your instagram photo.
That is the average qt.

>>70493379
one state of the Holy Land
palestine must be either democratic or judenrein

>>70493409
what the fuck

>>70493409
>"just bee urself" actually worked

ergo it will work for anyone 100% of the time

>>70493379
neither
don't give a soggy poo about the whole situation
could all get nuked tomorrow and i won't care

Imagine how grim Rosy will look in about 15 years after a couple of kids, when that body is all out of shape and her tits are saggy and her arse covered in cellulite. Her face will be even worse.

>>70493409
Bee urself

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>>70493409
i would like to put my willy in her if u guys know what i meaning
ps god save queen

What do you lads think of this? Me on the video
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KBZ2OwD4K8o

>>70493246
>tfw used to work for Nestle

Did nothing wrong.

*listens to the basement tapes*
ah yes

>>70493492
me on the right side
you on the left side
we kiss eachother
ok?
ps god save queen

If a women likes shit guys just imagine how much of an insult that would be if she liked you lmao.

>>70493379
I've never said "tfw no Palestinian gf" but I have said "tfw no Israeli gf" at least a dozen times.

>>70493543
what if i toldu that i am israeli and a gril
ps god save queen

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*waits until your back is turned*

>>70493379
dont care about shite that happens thousands kilometres away

>>70493459
>tfw those kids will never be mine
bad feel t b h

>>70492714
any spare British fanny i can have?

>>70493543
>dgw keine Palästinasisch

recomend me a good britisch movie
ps god save queen

*sits down on the bus and looks at my phone*

>>70493421
thats a wakizashi mate

>>70493596
kidulthood

might ask mummy for a sausage sandwich :3
what you having for breaky boys

>>70493596
k-on

>>70493596

dead mans shoes

How can a women resist a charming rope salesman.

>>70493648
Coffee and a fag

>>70493648
*heems you for mispelling brekkie*

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>'Syrian children are now at risk following increased reports of...'

>it's a 'tfw no gf, life is soooo unfair! :( p.s. I don't put any effort into my physique/appearance and never actively try to interact with females' episode

some girl wanted to come over to sleep but my floor was frightfully dirty

>>70493687
>.. attacks from bronies

havent ate anything in 2 days

>>70493682
*brekks your jaw*

>>70493648
4 eggos (scrambled) on two slices of toast with a bit of meme sauce on top.

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>>70493707

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ill 2bh

>>70493699
[S]kip Episode

>>70493459
not saying shes attractive but do you think attractive people have proper mental breakdowns when they start losing it in their 30s

I imagine the vain pretty girl type must take the hit pretty hard

going to my local apple store to pick up a new ipad and accessories

Probably the worst thing about having a big dick is the sheer size of the thing.

Best Simpsons Scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xab9MN7Kxhk

>>70493699
just b urself
t. chad

going to my local apple store to get my arse serviced

fucking hate le epic australian stereotypes pushed by reddit / buzzfeed / facebook pages with those gay sausage bunnings vegemite kangaroo tier querky memes

it's fucking embarrasing

>>70493768
Somewhat related, I'm always shocked by how often women cry. Waterworks at the drop of a hat.

>>70493772
tell me more lad

>>70493768
Depends whether they've settled down by then and find satisfaction in things other than their looks such as their family, domesticity, job, etc

punched my head and im seeing some weird black lines

>>70493772
Mine is only massive when it's erect, so I don't have any issues

>>70493790
yeah I get that feeling, I always cringe when I see australia mentioned on reddit and theres a 50 comment chain about how le badass everything is

punched my monitor and i'm seeing some weird black lines

>>70493790
You are to sensitive to live over there, Turtleneck, come and live in London with me and be my bf x

>>70493805
>domesticity
Learned a new word today

could really do with a gf Tbh lads

It's 2328! Anyone know some good 2328 music?

>>70493805
sounds boring LOL

Asked a woman to dress up as an anime girl after she said hi.

hope no one knows how much of a dreadful person i am

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me and the gf

Sargon is BANNED from Twitter!

THE ESS JAY DUBBLEYOOOOOUS

>>70493859
bleep blorp by glarb

>>70493835
are you a child?

>>70493777
>not this
https://youtu.be/81FGVh1dj0A

>>70493833
>>70493824
yeah no other country has autists that go out of their way to show how unique and quirky their country is. Like i've never seen a canadian or kiwi do it.

don't know why there are so many of them here.

sargon is a cunt either way

>>70493887
why?

wouldn't mind giving a british lad the ol in out

>>70493898
I just like posting desu.

>>70493923
Because the left are the real nazis

>>70493900
Who

sarcuck of cuckkad? nah, not a fan

I find letting every woman subtly know you are a pervert breaks the ice.

>LIVERPOO

Don't feel like wanking or drinking anymore. Literally lost the two things that I used to burn away free time.

>tfw spent life for the past six months betting on football games and watching anime all day non-stop
I've lost so much money and so many braincells

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All Australians are annoying tryhards if I'm to be perfectly honest with you

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>Go on Normiebook for the first time in months
>Everyone is liking each other for being in stable relationships and buying their first houses together
>The fuck we're only in our early to mid 20s how is this possible?
>I'm still alone in a dead end job with nothing to look forward to

I don't like this. I don't like this at all.

>>70493890
Don't appreciate your attitude.

>>70493990
Kinda ironic because its frowned upon here.

>>70493937
no i'm talking about those buzzfeed posts that try to show off australian lifestyle in a cringey autistic manner, not the posters here lads

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Rate the first meal ive had in 3 days

>mango sorbet
>watermelon
>raseberries

Gots some grapes too...fuck i really need a pie or lamb chops

>>70493994
There's always a joker in the pack

>>70494012
here's an idea zhang: don't go on buzzfeed

Sick of these perfect ten mini celebs giving me attention. Don't they realise im a loser ffs.

gonna heem that runt with the awful meal

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Don't you know how to save a French from drowning?
No, you don't.

>>70494025
Hope it doesn't spill on your turtleneck sweater

>>70493994
Heh I was friends with a bunch of nerds in school and uni and a few of us have houses none really have gfs.

Waiting to see if that shit people talk about happens where women hit 30 and all of a sudden get scared of dying alone, so they act like the guys the ignored in their youth exist now.

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feeling really down again lads

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>>70493995
>>70494009
>>70494012
>>70494025
>>70494027
>>70494034
>>70494035
>>70494050
snap

>>70494012
Lol Australian lifestyle in lying on your back and dying in the heat.

Gonna head out for a quick pee, should I bring anything back for you?

>insulting hot girls only makes them like you more
I can't believe this shit.

>>70494055
Where did you get the money for a house? Mortgage? Who did you take it out with?

>>70494079
corn on the cobnetto

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>australian culture

if i talked about how i feel to people im in good terms with what would happen
would they berate me

>>70494139
ah yes, secular humanism, shall surely be subscribing to this ideology

>>70493735
bantre

>>70494140
Yes trust no one.

>>70494025
>meal

grandiose term methinks

Got Ayers Rock m8. Massive rock.

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Le klopp face

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>hey dude, she's with me

>>70494155
youre right ill keep keeping everything to myself then

what's the longest you've edged for? was it worth it?

>>70494188
Why are all Germans so autistic?

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you just KNOW

>>70494214
10 seconds and caught pneumonia

>>70494188
he looks a bit like john bishop in that webm

Can someone tell me what edging is

>>70494225
Trumps making women feel like women again.

>>70494079
Pics. x

>tfw never fly first class

>>70494270
Curious about this too. I looked up roastie today and had a good laff.

>>70494225
disgusting domineering male chauvinist behaviour

Big massive rock it is m8. In the desert.

might stop in a hotel tonight, get drunk on my own and book a prostitute

thoughts?

>>70494300
If you remove the dirt around it the rock looks like a giant nob.

>>70494311
Cant hurt

Worst week of my life

Liverpool lose to Swansea, my dog dies, Liverpool lose to Southampton and are out of the league cup, Liverpool lose to wolves and are out the fa cup

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>>70494311
Beta male shit

big rock m8

>>70494311
link to her adultwork profile lad

>>70494311
Get rack instead

>>70494334
fitting it's australias most widely known natural landmark then

Imagine caring about sports
Really really odd

>>70494354
shut up
>>70494364
haven't made a final decision or booking yet

ive been nothing but mediocrity

>>70494368
Thanks

>>70494348
tactical defeats la to focus on the league la

>tfw orthodox marxist
>qt rosa gf to the left of me
>authoritarian murderers to the right of me
>multiculti sjw cucks further right
>radikul centrism!!1!1!

>>70494311

what else are you going to spend your money on?

you'll be dead one day. in the ground, worm food, forgotten, nothing you did will ever matter, so enjoy the short time you have, don't let society judge you, they're all worthless sacks of shit

>tfw no primitive autism bf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZXUCQc2Z78

Loving a girl means you'd be willing to eat her ass out if she asked

>>70494277
I do (have a method)

>>70494311
watch k-on instead

>>70494439
Loving a girl means killing her sons and giving her new sons.

Bloody hell mates it's chess time again!

https://en.lichess.org/thRN3nyX

>>70494427
oh good he's not dead

new migos album is fucking shit

>>70494475
shan't be doing that you filthy nonce

>>70494427
We don't have vines here though

>>70494503
He's an IT millionaire or something isn't he?

Business idea: make high quality casual games and sell them on tablets and steam

wanked to the same scene from the same jav twice now

>>70494489
>tfw more handsome than this guy

>>70494515
ok

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>>70494489

shameful admission: i give myself (You)s

>>70494550
well that guy isn't actually handsome


or maybe I just like effeminate men and women

>>70494589
>tfw more handsome than (you)

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>order book from the US via amazon marketplacr
>standard £2.80 p&p

>order it directly from their website
>$2.99 p&p (£2.38)

>>70494636
>amazon don't work for free

Shocking

If the UK had a national football team for as long as france, germany, italy and spain we could have 4-5 world cups by now instead of just one.

The Lisbon lions and George Best would have won us a trophy in the 60s/70s
Dalgleish etc would have ensured a trophy in the 80s
Giggs could have got one in the 90s
Bale and Ramsey would have won us the Euros

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>>70494623
>what else are you going to spend your money on?
>you'll be dead one day. in the ground, worm food, forgotten, nothing you did will ever matter, so enjoy the short time you have, don't let society judge you, they're all worthless sacks of shit

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

>tfw devilishly handsome

>>70494650
Shut the fuck up you fucking flid.

>>70494672
you can't silence the truth

Imposing anime girls looking down at you.

>>70492853
can smell the patchouli oil from here lads

what a fucking gremlin

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>>70494214
This Chinese girl snuck into my house one morning and tied me up. She sucked my cock while teasing my nipples for an hour before I came.

Was essentially trying to get me to break up my current, but now ex, gf depicted on the right side in the picture.

I told her I wouldn't do it and would call the police on her if she did not let me go.

That's when she gave me a blowjob and tortured me for an hour before I blew my load all over her.

I couldn't help it. Made her lick herself clean before I proceeded to fuck her brains out until she squirted herself across the bed and all over my sofa.

Never, in my lifetime, saw as much semen coming out of my cock as I did when I was copulating with her that morning.

Room was a mess full of the reek and stench of driied body fluids. When my Mexican maids saw the stains and inquired about it later that afternoon before their routine cleaning duties, I dismissed it as spilled milk.

>>70494650
I'm English not UKish

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Reminder

>>70494703
how is this a rorke mentality when doing the same thing in france, germany, italy or spain is rasheedesque?

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>This Chinese girl snuck into my house one morning and tied me up. She sucked my cock while teasing my nipples for an hour before I came.

>Was essentially trying to get me to break up my current, but now ex, gf depicted on the right side in the picture.

>I told her I wouldn't do it and would call the police on her if she did not let me go.

>That's when she gave me a blowjob and tortured me for an hour before I blew my load all over her.

>I couldn't help it. Made her lick herself clean before I proceeded to fuck her brains out until she squirted herself across the bed and all over my sofa.

>Never, in my lifetime, saw as much semen coming out of my cock as I did when I was copulating with her that morning.

>Room was a mess full of the reek and stench of driied body fluids. When my Mexican maids saw the stains and inquired about it later that afternoon before their routine cleaning duties, I dismissed it as spilled milk.

>>70494650
didn't we cheat a lot during the 1966 cup?

>>70494682
There is no truth.

@70494702
foy

>THE FOOKIN ESS JAY DUBBLEYOOS

>>70494650

if the munich air disaster never happened england would have won the cup in 58. 62, 66 and 70

should have won it in 86 if the refs weren't bent

chebs

>>70494738
we wouldn't needed to have cheated if we didn't let arbitrary borders hold back great players

simply cannot fathom a reality in which a woman would be willing to spend extended periods of their free time with me because they genuinely enjoyed my company

don't know what to have for breakfast lads

>>70494738
yee

rescheduled a semi in Anfield against Portugal, which was Portugals base of operations a day beforehand to Wembley

scummy af

>>70494748
so we could have one it over 10 times by now . fuck sake

>>70494733
None of those countries have to put up with jocks

Just to see the smug look wiped off her face when you inform her your sex robot has bigger tits.

>>70494769
>we wouldn't needed to have cheated if we didn't let arbitrary borders hold back great players
what did he mean by this?

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never had a muskateers bar or a green milky way what is this

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>>70494794

>>70494817
just to see the smug look on shlomobattsteins face when you inform him you're willingly going extinct

if east and west germany had a united team they would have won 12 world cups

>>70494855
>never had a green milky way

fuck off underage

no clue what a muskateers is though

>>70494866
rasheed post

>>70494860
Game over feminist.

>>70494860
>muh white race
>muh white genocide

fuck off

>>70494920
>>70494920
>>70494920
nuew

if England had scored more goals than the other team they would have won every world cup

>>70494948
>>70494948
>>70494948

>>70494781
Me too. m8. I know I'm a boring twat with no personality, no stories, no experiences to share. Even my own family have fucked me off. My birthday today and the only card I got was off my mum & dad and they didn't even ask to come over to see me ;_;

>>70494855
yank shit

>>70492977
okay will do

>>70492977
Charles Martel was christian and actually defended europe whilst you northern pagan scum did fuck all but sure
>muh genocides