/brit/

*drops a huge log of shit in this thread*

ol' 'cide

It's me, Goku!

6th for ring wing

'oing 'own t' 'hop t' 'et 'yself 'ome 'ilk 'ou 'ads 'ant 'nything?

>>70159939
'f

>>70159939
'tto

finn already shat on the bloody thread

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>r/unitedkingdom is still buttblasted about brexit

>>70159939
'rl'iend

Applied for Question Time lads

>>70159939
'rumpets

>>70159939
'ill t' 'ive

>>70159967
that subreddit is literally just left wing remainers.

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>>70159909
OI!

>>70159939
'eakin 'ke 'his 'ilters JFs out

Sorry for asking advice lads but all my flatmates are out and I'm shit with this kinda thing.

Pay for her or not when I'm unsure whether it's a date?

Sometimes I catch myself literally laughing aloud and smiling when I read a funny post and then I feel ashamed because I literally don't realise I'm doing it

Think the lack of human contact is driving me crazy lads

>>70159939
'

Rejected from Question Time lads

wonder if girls can feel themselves getting wet
I've asked my gf about it before and her response was "can you tell your tongue is wet?"
but I reckon if my tongue was ever dry then became wet, I'd tell

>>70159987
We will be greatly disappointed if you don't wear a white shirt with a purple tie

>>70159939
i know you're having a laugh but some people in Yorkshire actually talk like this

>>70160016
if you're just gonna get coffee or whatever then there's no point paying for her imo

how come australians are more british than the brits are nowadays

>>70160017
the other day i said something out loud that i thought was funny and laughed and then realised i just laughed at me talking to myself in an empty house

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N O W
THAT'S
WHAT I
CALL
CANADA POSTING
A
N
A
D
A

>>70160016
Split it mate

I don't care who she is, I'm not paying unless we've established that kind of relationship prior to the meeting

>>70160034
Shan't be doing that.

I'll probably get on though, being a young conservative brexit voter.

>>70160016
If it isn't immediately clear that it's a date and she doesn't allude to as much then she pays half. If she changes her mind when you ask her to split then she still pays half.

>>70160032
ye sounds like the gf is quite daft lad

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>how come australians are more british than the brits are nowadays

>>70160057
FUCK OFF LEAF

hmmm might switch to electrical engineering afterall
hmmmmmmm not sure though might fail terribly
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

>>70160077
don't reply to me or my gf ever again

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land of the english, tbhlads

>>70160097
only pakis do EE

>>70160032
would like to get my tongue wet on your gf if you understand what i am meaning

>>70160117
glad I'm on O2 then

none of the women at work know who lacan was

>>70160117
ah yeah thanks mate this has solidified my decision
..... NOT!

going to mcdonalds

need a gf that pisses herself when you strangle her

>>70160131
Ask them if they know about Rorke's Drift

>>70160150
e i e i o

>>70160097
electrical engineering is shite, you need to know programming as well as advanced physics and maths

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rip baby girl u in haven now...

>>70160016
last 2 dates I've been on the woman has paid

shagged both too

>>70160170
why do you keep spamming her, it happened like 2 weeks ago or maybe more being neet really screws up your sense of time

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welcome to the northern powerhouse

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Soon

>>70160168
I don't mind that tbqh, i would rather be using my noggin than doing something basic and boring

>>70160156

no chance
they don't even know what war the charge of the light brigade occurred in

>>70160212
Why does it always look like something's gonna crawl out of his mouth when he laughs

thinking of posting the mug on /r/amiugly to get an honest rating

Afternoon lads

How's it foing?

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>>70160209

>>70160217
gonna smash your head in if you don't quit being such a nerd

>>70160240
i would sooner post it on /soc/ cos it's less likely that people who i know will see it

>>70160231
If a woman knew about specific bouts in the Crimean war that probably work against their favour tb͏h

HP sauce? big fan

>>70160263
wonder how many birds have been fingered there

Worried about that hidden facebook group dedicated to documenting your hilariously pathetic life? I'm part of it.

>>70160267
you wouldn't say shit to me in real life mate, i'd fucking snap every bone in your body you little fucking insect

Anyone doing the civil service fast stream here?

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got this on loop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZNtYmdZ-4c

>>70160263

More like poothern poohouse amirite? haha

SWEET HOME ALABAMA

>>70160275
timezones, and delete when satisfied

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>United Europe is bad because culture/identity/etc

>>70160305
doubt anyone cares enough about my life for that tbqh

Who /barelyanyinternetfootprint/ here?

>>70160315
>spend years getting a degree so you can become a government drone

ah yes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0F6jGenEuU

>>70160332
shadilay is a legitimately good song imo

>>70160305
nah never had that much attention.
reckon if i ever got invited to a school reunion 80% would have no clue who i am and they spent around 6 years with me

Been hearing a lot about this Salford Shopping City

anybody been, is it worth going?

>>70160362
I'd love it 2bh. Private sector shit is boring.

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>>70160361
>not on social media
>searching my name gives up completely unrelated results
>can't be found on electoral roll

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this is what women want

>>70160387

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIBWfz4V-a4

>>70160361
just googled and the only hit is a myspace page of a person i was friends with

Dead

British man dies working on Qatar 2022 World Cup stadium

>>70160199
it happened 25 years ago

>>70160369
There have been many worse than Obama

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>>70160425
This is what women want.

>>70160361
only thing that comes up is pictures of my grandfathers grave my uncle took, i got his name

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>>70160361
>tfw searching my name only brings up results for a fictional character

play it loud
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqbEsS5kFb8

currently 11:40pm and it's 32 degrees, humid and swarming with mosquitos

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time for lunch

ready for world war 3, lads?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-y75plTiXKE

>>70160668
1st world country

>"low" of 27 tomorrow
wew

love this guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDwXh3ktzNs

>>70160718
bit gay

>>70160708
it's 1st world, but it's no country for white man

>>70159899
Flamer tanks don't explode, they just burst at most, sometimes they aren't even penetrated or the fuel just surprisingly gently escapes through the hole.

ribs hurt so much i can't wank

ah yes, all of the new so called gf's friends adding me on fb. very unimpressive

>>70160704
ah yes the so called fake news

>>70160577
fashionistas are trivial germs

>>70160828
are they all lads?

>>70160828
that was a quick coffee

>>70160871
no

>>70160873
don't understand the reference

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gf just retweeted this

don't understand how im supposed to settle for ugly women knowing there's beautiful women out there ???

which should I do to beat the heat lads:

a) sit in a McDonalds
b) ride the motorbike in shorts
c) drive around in aircon

weigh in

>be australian
>get skin cancer

>>70160927
man up, stop complaining

>>70160927
because women think the same way

>>70160895
last thread some lad asked a girl out for some coffee

una vela

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alright

>>70161000
man we should just steralise all the unattractive people so we'll never have this issue again

>post an /int/-related thread
>no responses

>shitpost
>456 / I: 50

ahh yes

>>70161073
>t. damp rag

>>70161073
>canadian makes the same thread every day
>has 53 responses

>>70161073
/int/ used to be interesting, don't really read other threads apart from this now, bit of a shame imho

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>>70161109
>people visit an /int/ernational board to post exclusively with people from their own country

>>70161164
if people from other countries were less awful we wouldn't have to do

>>70161164
only so many "ARGENTINA WHITE LOL" posts I can stomach. don't know people on this website have to be so fucking boring and unoriginal honestly

hand over your da' and we'll let you live

t. cuckold collection agency

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why do non-whites even try to be attractive

>>70161295
kettle is shite

>>70161295
they are

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>>70161255
would like to see these 2 fellas in a cage match

Is a shirt with an aran jumper over it overkill for coffee?

>>70161323
get on the cross

>>70161368
I'd say so yeah. Acceptable for a cosy pub lunch though

my type is girls who look like pale skinned levantine arabs tbqh.

>>70161392
Fuck, not much else to wear 2bh

It'd be with jeans and boots

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>>70161411

Name all the post-Blair PMs of Britain

>>70161411
so upper class syrians or just spanish

>>70161463
George Brown, David Cameron & Nick Clegg as deputy, David Cameron, Theresa May

https://www.instagram.com/sarahfuckingsnyder/

why do the cute ones have to get blacked

>>70161411
Mia Khalifa without the frankentits

>>70161498
I'll stick my George in your brown for saying that

>>70161498
Gordon*

I ugh... auto correct..

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I, Toilet Bog Fart. do solemnly swear that I will support the Constipation of the Poonited States as Commander in Queef.

*sharts loudly on the Lincoln Bible*
*the presidential poo drips down the steps of Congress*
*the US Marine Band starts up*

>HAIL TO THE QUEEF, WE HAVE CHOSEN FOR THE NATION
>HAIL TO THE QUEEF, HE IS SMELT BY ONE AND ALL
>HAIL TO THE QUEEF, AS WE PLEDGE POO-OPERATION
>IN PROUD FULFILLMENT OF A GREAT, NOBLE TURD

>>70161457
the fuck is this

>>70161507
she just wants his fame and money

>>70161545
are you hoping someone will screenshot this for r/4chan?

>>70161457
BIG fan of this webm
>>70161494
both, that sort of look.

>>70161545
haha very VERY good post

>>70161561
there are plenty of rich whitebois she could have chosen to get that
hell does he even have any fame and money that isn't really his dad's?

The prospective /gf2017/ keeps changing her profile picture as I talk with her, she never does it any other time

Good sign or just a coincidence

>>70161545
such an unbelievably shit gimmick

blood on the toilet paper lads

>>70161596
can't upvote this enough, keep up the top keks! :D

>>70161624
if it's light red don't worry about it, if it's dark red go see a doctor when you get a chance x

president dump

>>70161645
|:-D

>>70161603
goldberg wills it

>>70161603
white bois can't compete with bbc

>>70161614
she wants you to comment on it and tell her how good she looks

When's the Inauguration

Finished EarthBound last night. Last boss was a bit disturbing innit

looking at several pollution maps of the world

why are there such large concentrated areas over the Sahara desert? there's literally nothing there

>>70161710
starts in 2 hours

starting to get satisfaction from rejected job applications

>>70161788
runt

my life
http://is2.4chan.org/wsg/1484922094729.webm

>>70161785
sandstorms

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me in the white

>>70161787
Ages hey. Good stuff. Gonna listen to some music in my isolation chamber. Heard any nice tunes lately? Hope you're having a great day.

>>70161706
Thought this but then I thought it'd be weird if I brought it up
the perils of being an autist

>>70161816
you sound like my dad

>>70161888
just do it you mong

>>70161888
nah don't bring it up lad

play hardball

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>>70161788
The calls have stopped and they don't even respond to applications now

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ah yes

>>70161931
>psst trump go to the theatre

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc3AovUZgvo

>>70161931
I've been there

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really makes me think

The prospective /gf2017/ keeps changing her name, face and location as I talk with her, I have to find her again every time

>>70161974
I'm having a hard time following this. He asked his auntie on a date if he got enough upvotes and 10,000 people upvoted his incest date?

>>70161956
i thought i wanted this, but on reflection, i don't

>>70161949
you're a pawn, lad

>>70162022
You may live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension.

getting a gf is only hard if you're a runt in which case you dont deserve one

>>70161956
Nipponese men are so pathetic

high heels sound nice but i like the look of flats better also its nice to know they're not in pain

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>>70159899
So now that the dust has settled, which one was the best musically?

>>70161974
this one has stumped me to be quite honest

not sure what to say

>>70161916
>>70161945
mixed signals here lads, think I'll steer the safe course for now and not mention it

>>70162042
makes it easy for us white lads to bang their wimmin though

big fan of nip wimmin 2bh

>>70162046
john lennon obviously

>>70162038
when people say they want a gf they mean a pretty one

>>70162046
George

reminder that Foo Fighters and Weezer make music for people who wear plaid shirts over bazinga t shirts and browse reddit daily

>>70162101
Don't know who either of them are

>>70162101
pretty sure they made music for the late 90s, early 00s actually

>>70162050
terrible decision

>>70162101
fact check: true

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> john lennon obviously

>>70162087
>big fan of nip wimmin 2bh
Most of them look terrible without makeup, it's not a meme

>>70161884
cool, I woke up, went to kfc for lunch and now i'm at home on /brit/ so not bad overall

i've been listening to tori amos a lot lately, wbu

>>70162091
that is hard for everyone though, even most laddish of lads

>>70162101
Weezer are so fucking shite, but I still quite like some of the blue album and el scorcho.

What I'm saying is I'm fucking gay

>>70162137
that's why they complain about it

>>70162130
why do i need to see them without makeup

>>70162154
so you're saying all the people here whinging about >tfw no gf actually mean
>tfw no 8/10 gf
?

is clubbing more of a friday or saturday thing?

http://is2.4chan.org/int/1484922523433.png

Plan of action:
>Shitpost til half 3, have a couple of beers
>Get ready, meditating and listening to music to align shankras
>Head to doctors to have anti-vaccine administered at half 4, thus removing autism
>Head to cafe at 5 and sperg out while I wonder if this has all been a terrible misunderstanding or not

>>70162198
yes

>>70162214
Saturday

>>70162130

got a korean gf who looks nice without makeup, ok she's probably at her peak considering she's approaching mid 20's (I still look like a kid because I'm 19). Then again she doesn't even look like a typical Korean desu

Ivana Humpalot

>>70162214
sat imo

friday is already too busy

>>70162198
>why do i need to see them without makeup
You'll eventually see it, normally in the morning. I'll admit that some of them have fucking nice bodies though.

>>70162135
Been listening to some classic Seal lately
There's something so positive about his music

>>70162289
girls wake up early and sort themselves out lad, at least in my experience

>00:37
>feels like: 33.6
hm yes very good

>>70162328
I've never known a girl who had herself sorted out.

>>70162317
never really listened to much of seal's music but i might give it a try, thanks

>>70162317
I like how his lyrics just don't make any sense whatsoever. Crazy is a banger though

Lads, pigeons keep landing on the balcony and making me shit myself

>>70162351
This desu

>>70162268
I like those Korean girls that have slightly dark/tan skin

>>70162351
the only chinese girl I ever shagged would always be up before me and have her makeup done/teeth brushed

sometimes she'd make breakfast too, probably where I got my liking for asians from haha

>>70162394
that's funny because that's probably what they've come to do on your balcony haha

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>THE SHART

>>70162328
>girls wake up early and sort themselves out lad
I'm just warning you, get prepared to be disappointed

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>it's nearly sunday
>i'll have to spend another month surrounded by fucking stupid retard cunts
FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

need a relationship so close that she does a poo with no makeup on while im brushing my teeth

my gf doesn't use makeup, means the bathroom sink stays so much cleaner. worth it imho

>>70162463
don't fancy this at all

then again I'm a basic runt

>>70162409
Might start shooting at them with my air pistol

>>70162398
My gf is tall, pretty light and blonde (not natural of course)

we're great together but the looks off old asian blokes are hilarious

never watched a yank inaugeration before
quite boring désú

>>70162501
pics

What's the Hollywood divorce rate?

cant fucking stop yawning

>>70162541
69%

>>70162525
Spotted the kid

>>70162553
dont care

>>70162576
bet you love spotting kids you dirty nonce cunt

>>70162594
an unnecessary remark

>>70162566
Why couldn't the blonde count to 70?

>>70162525
The PotUS speech us usually pretty good

>Battery -> Select a power plan
>High Performance

DEJA VU

>>70161675
haha

how long until we have videogames where it's basically just like the animus from assassin's creed?

Ne'er watchd a Yanke inaygratione beffore
Qwit borringe Desoe

>>70162525
What's even happening on it right now?

>>70162101
Oh yeah

toilet bog fart

>>70162677
shagpiles

>>70162677
he's readying obabo's noose

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Do you lads like my cat?

>>70162687
Absolutely love this gimmick

>>70162710
intelligent looking kot

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This guy from Manchester is showing the japs how to banter

>>70162710
Vermin

>>70162710
i like your cat

>>70162692
>>70162709
Guess I'll have to choon in then.

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>>70162729
The absolute STATE of Michelle

How long until a CHINESE US president

>>70162725
>>70162754
She'll be pleased with these comments

>>70162747
Simply awful

>>70162729
>Protests against the President-elect are expected

Okay, now I need to find out what the Biased BC said during Obama's inaugeration

>>70162846
never, you have to be american to be the US president

REALLY need a family member to confront me about this lifestyle

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>Biased BC

>>70161956
Why do the graphics look like a PS1 vidéo game. It's like having sophisticated machinery to shag à crash bandicoot character kek.

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Seeing my normie typical North Londoner remainer friends this evening, wondering whether to reveal my pro-Trump power lever

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>>70162846
Have you seen his eyes and his skin colour? they already have a chink m8

Who is worthi to Open the Boke? Thys queftion evenfo made by admyracion declarythe the greate dyfficulte of the Openynge of the Boke: As evenfo be yt that a very ftrange and puyffant Angell myght there do nothynge

>>70162886
>girls laughing in the background
my life

>>70162917
Chinese man paints self gold and becomes president? This is a prank gone too far.

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Holy kek, the BBC reporter actually said "grab her by the pussy" live on air

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Tonight I'm going out to party with a neck tie like Nigel. You look like you're having more fun when you're properly dressed tbqh

>>70162955
I was under the impression that "pussy" isn't a rude word over there

>>70162967
What does he sound like when he laughs

>>70162967
>neck tie

english por favor

>the state of the french poster who spends his life on /brit/

>>70162955
Wow.. *drops steaming hot cup of tea* did she actually say that phrase before the water shed? *writes a stern letter to bbcs complaints board*

the fart meme is unbelievably funny

>>70162989
it is now. thanks to your fooking country

are we taking bets on whether drumpf gets assassinated?

>>70162989
It's not appropriate for daytime TV, but after the watershed it's fine

>>70163037
your mum's a water shed

its 1am i should not be sweating this much

>>70163030
I want him to be raped to death by a gorilla. John Oliver deserves an elephant

>>70162999
>neck tie

>english por favor
necktie

what's this avalanche malarkey lads?

>>70163070
Get fucked meme city!

Do not reply to it

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>I want him to be raped to death by a gorilla. John Oliver deserves an elephant

>>70163089
it's called a "tie"

don't need to add neck into it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltDD9wQDQaI

poleaboo.mp4

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the goal

>>70163030
>trump gets assassinated
>the yanks now have to deal with Mike "send the gays to Guantanamo bay" Pence
would be banter tbqh

>>70162933
Can't tell if that's welsh or he's having a stroke

Found a nice version of a classic Allen Toussaint song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAvrchxYOYE

>>70163089
Hello lad how's it going?

File: 1361308353422.jpg (27KB, 415x415px) Image search: [Google]

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Going to Tesco, what should I get? something nice I can eat

>>70163096
>He didn't die in the melbourne attack I ordered a few hours ago
Hello, customer service?

>>70163130
>"New" York
>it's actually quite old
Should rename it to Newer York

>>70163103
Triggered

nothing to eat
im so hungry lads
considering going to the subway but it'd be cold by the time i walked back to my house

>>70163159
Great man. Will go to a nightclub area called RCA recommended by thailad. Pretty pumped up tbqh. You?

the goal
*pretend i posted an image of a really attractive white woman*

>>70163181
A ciabatta, parma ham, buffalo mozzarella, some lettuce, some pesto and some tomato

>>70163181
corneto

>>70163117
>https://www.google.co.th/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necktie&ved=0ahUKEwjgo7eD_9DRAhWJo48KHYRdDtgQFggcMAA&usg=AFQjCNHITempHejouMHh5GdxaZP1__c6AQ&sig2=4TmvFAbqJLgFvoCNaiBHmQ

President Toilet Bog Fart

>>70163263
>>70163263
>>70163263

>>70162967
>You look like you're having more fun when you're properly dressed tbqh

You don't though, have you never been to a ball or anything?

Formal clothes are generally pretty uncomfortable - I'll take a regular big night out normally dressed anyway

>>70163220
oh good, hopefully you can find some more gfs. It's too bad thailad declined your invitation for dinner
I finally have weekend off, probably will buy some weed

>>70163121
that was beautiful

>>70163276
>have you never been to a ball or anything?
No never tbqh :( except for my uncle's wedding inswitzerland which had ball as a thème but I never been to a real one.

>>70163117
should've told him to wind his neck in haha

>>70163023
which one? you mean BRRRRAAAAPPPP?

because im sick of it now