/australia/

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>>70139539
How does a person who is afraid of spiders live?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BojoZEdvtu8

>>70139539
when will this meme end?

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>>70141348
It's not a meme, it's real.

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Here's an aussie game of cat & mouse.

The fauna is actually the reason i want to visit Australia someday

>>70139539
You forgot the most dangerous animals of all, Australians

>>70141862
that is a big spider

well, i think it's easier fighting giant animals and spiders than living everyday 24/7 with argentinians

>>70142134
>You forgot the most dangerous animals of all, Australians

LOL

>>70142085
okay, but In australia do not visit the fauna, the fauna visits you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhQCqIjnZeU

>>70139539
>giant animals
the largest predatory animals in Australia are dogs

>>70142293
Argies are fine.
Paraguayans are the problem.

>>70142390
oh we killed many paraguayans in the past
actually, most paraguayans are part brazilians
we did really rape them

they didn't friendly banter with the paraguans
they triple ganged up slaughtered 90% of their men on one fell swoop

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>>70142293
>>70142457
Man from Brazil in the middle

>>70142380
Yep, but in Europe the biggest thing you might see near your house is a stag beetle, a innovensive and nice 3 inches insect.
Sometimes you can see hedgehogs or foxs tho.

>>70142598
you already got rid of dogs for your muslim friends?
thats nice

>>70142218
4u

>>70142598
In a country like Argentina, you can raise chickens. In Australia, you can raise dinosaurs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SttAZScYhSU

>>70142657
>>70142701
I'm really sorry Australia, I did not mean to offend you.

How do I understand cricket lads?

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>>70142779
Will you ever forgive me for Australia? Or you will send me to your army of demonic creatures, called pets.

>>70139539
I saw a wild cassowary once

>>70142657
Never seen stray dogs here.
I was chocked to see some when I was in Argentina. Meat is cheap there so people feed them by throwing pieces of raw meat in the streets, leading to the development of big stray dogs communities that shit all over the streets.

>>70141862
I want one

>>70142804
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhHcjOhWLqk

fucking cricket, i liked playing it as a kid but i fucking hate watching that shit, my mum loves it though

>>70142978
what? Are not common there? You sure have seen a kangaroo, right?

>>70143083
Thank you friend. What is the most popular sport in Australia?

Honest America terrifies me more from a wildlife stance. Cougars that will tear you apart and bullet absorbing super aggressive grizzly bears. Also flying cockroaches, we don't have them in the south here.

>>70139539
Nature is actually that much more badass in Australia than anywhere else. It's just that other humans wiped out all the dangerous species aroudn them which Abbos couldn't do because they're a fundamentally useless people.

Australians are actually demigods: exemplars of both the savargery of the old world that needed taming by the might of man, and the pure distilled intellect of civilisiation. Never anger one, or you will learn true fear.

>>70143103
Of course ive seen a kangaroo. Cassowarys are only in the north.

>>70143143
Cricket.

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>>70139539
We live far from that spooky centre, near the coasts and all. But the animals find a way still

>>70143190
Your Australian boyfriend hit you, bitch?

>>70143218
If I go to australia and walk with a kangaroo, will I get women?

>>70143218
I met a 30yo Austalian guy living in Hong Kong that had never seen a koala in his life.

>>70143337
Well they aren't very common in Hong Kong.

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>>70143289
How common are giant spiders? That's what worries me the most. Have you ever met someone who encountered a dangerous animal? Appear frequently? How do you sleep at night?

>>70143454
Heh

>>70143299
>If I go to australia and walk with a kangaroo, will I get women?
you will get your eyes clawed out and your testicles severed

>>70143299
No. They will think "what the fuck is that guy doing with that kangaroo". Do soft drugs and you might have a chance.

>>70143337
They're actually pretty rare now days and mainly in Victoria. All dying from disease and bush fires. Seen plentybas a kid.

>>70143620
Don't scare the bloke. Our women aren't that bad.

>>70143505
Giant spiders are common but not poisoness

>>70143218
>Of course
Why "of course"? They are pets?

>>70143143
>>70143221
not cricket
aussie rules football
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mnv32s8jPz0

Went out roo hunting one night over the christmas holidays. The particular area we were in was infested with literally millons of orb-weaver spiders, which had set up large communal webs that stretched from the ground up to the middle of the trees. Every 2-5 metres or so was a web with upward of 6 vidible spiders in it. It was fun dodging them all to find the roos.

>>70145990
Bullshit mate. Cricket IS the national sport.

Afl is NOT big all over australia like cricket is. QLD and most of NSW are rugby league states.

Cricket is huge all over Austealia

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>>70146625
okay...

>>70141572
Fuck off my wall gringo.

>>70146625
All my mates make me walk in front to deal with the spiders.
Fucking pussies they are.

>tfw you will never go to the australian zone to grind on wildlife until you reach level 60

>>70146864
You have a point, in people actually playing it I think you're right. I remember in primary school a guy from QLD moved where I live (SA) and he didn't really like aussie rules that much. Always suggested that we play rugby at lunch instead.

But as a spectator sport it is by far the most popular, considering most aussies don't play sports past a certain age I think that's relevant and it probably has the most commerialisation and work put into it, it's a larger affair all together.

How do you Aussies feel in general about large predators in other countries? Had an aussie [spoiler]gf[/spoiler] who was terrified of going innawoods because she thought bears and pumas and wolves would kill her.

Friendly reminder that the lack of these creatures as well as Australians is why New Zealand is the superior South Pacific nation

>>70141572
That's just a goanna mate. They're harmless unless you like stick your fingers in it mouth

>>70145990
poof

>>70154819
I was arguing with a Canadian mate that I could fuck a moose up hey. Reckoned I could whack it with a pipe and it would be fucked, went to their house and saw a moose head on the wall. Big fucking think mate, I reckon you'd need at least a knife for one of them fuckers

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>>70155105
Moose are pretty hefty fuckers. Might need 2 knives.

>>70139539

It's not so bad.

I spent a year there and saw maybe 1 snake.

Spoidahs don't really do much and minimal precaution is enough to avoid getting bitten by one. Even then a bite at worst would give you a nasty infection and a few months of medical treatment

With the rest you just don't be a fuckwit and you're good to go (e.g. don't try to fight a kangaroo or emu, don't swim in any water in north australia unless it's explicitly said by the authorities that it's safe etc.)

>>70155957

Also forgot to mention - the real killer in Australia is the sun.

Every Australian over 40 has skin like chernobyl victims.

>>70139539
Fuck cassowaries and
>>70141862
fuck spiders.

>>70142380
Every been around bogans on the piss? They're larger than dogs and carry far more disease.

>Europeans spent millenia to wipe out any creature that can harm people
>nowadays the most dangerous animal in Austria is the wasp (because some people are allergic)

The idea that somewhere out there in nature there might be animals that could seriously harm or even kill a person is so weird to me it seems like something from a novel.

I also would not survive for very long in Australia or South America.

>aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi

Do any of those terrifying animals even exist much in their coastal regions? It's not like they all live in the outback.

>>70143337
Koalas tend not to hop out in front of you in the middle of the night or around dusk when you're driving at 80km/h on windy country/coastal roads. Roos do. Wombats tend to stupidly hobble out and sit in the middle of the fucking road. Hitting one of those can ride off your car.

>>70143505
>How common are giant spiders?
Huntsmen can get pretty big, are rather terrifying if you freak out from spiders like me, but aren't really dangerous. Nothing poisonous like redbacks or black widows, which are relatively tiny by comparison but vastly more dangerous.

In all seriousness, fuck spiders.

>>70144070
>They are pets?
Not pets, pests.

>>70154899
That and you guys have far better Internet alongside a lot of easy pussy, if you're into sneaking into properties.

>>70139539
Most of us don't even really think about the wildlife even when we're out bush. Maybe a first aid kit with a pressure bandage in the truck, that's all I've ever seen. Most of us know what's a retarded thing to do and what's not though.

>>70156270
>Most of us don't even really think about the wildlife even when we're out bush.
Too busy getting on the turps, that's why.

>>70156137
Yeah, most of them are in coastal regions too. Plus the sea creatures are also there, so it's not really safer.

Tasmania is probably pretty safe due to the climate. Not many nasties.

>>70141572
what the fuck

>>70156350
fug

>>70156570
Goanna. They climb trees, so bricks would be easy I suppose.

>>70155831
how common are moose attacks? do you carry guns in the Canadian outback

moose attack/shot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0h1XlsskYmY
doesn't even look like one of the bigger ones

>be me
>out hiking
>get bit by west nile virus mosquito
>deliriously try to drive myself to hospital
>hit enormous moose crossing the road
>car is totaled, I am badly injured and bleeding
>bear smells my blood and mauls me
>wolves move in to scavenge what's left
>as my body lays there eaten to nothing a raccoon meanders by and gives my carcass rabies
>think to myself, "thank god I don't live somewhere dangerous like Australia!"

>>70143190
fedora

>>70142582

That's a big rack.

>>70156070
or north america
or asia
or africa

though a european lion/cave lion still existing would be pretty cool

>>70141862
I've seen bigger huntsmen

>>70157484
>that's not a spoida

>>70157621
There was a huntsmen larger than that on the light above my bed the other night.
Was prepared to burn the place down but the stupid fuck fell to the floor trying to climb the light and after a minor screaming fit I smashed it with a shoe. Had to really push down and twist to kill the fucker; felt like a pregnant mouse.

>>70157855
>he'd lived there since he was a hatchling
>he always ate the bugs that he knew you didn't like
>he thought you were room mates

>>70158037
This.

I always keep 10+ daddy longlegs around the corners of my place since they keep it safe. I love directing a lurking whitetail towards one and seeing it get helplessly overpowered.

>>70158622
Man idk I let daddy longlegs live in the bathroom and they always cannibalise each other in lean times. Its pretty fucked up actually

>>70156185
WTF?! It is real?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-U3HPRa-PY

>>70159491
>>70161586
This is what I meant, you guys are out of your mind.

>>70161641
They're like cute little daddy long legs

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>>70161667
Kangaroo is good meat.
Why don't people hunt them?

>>70161586
I think I'm able to beat a kangaroo with bare hands.

No kidding.

I practise MMA since 6 years, boxing in parallel since 7 years
Also musuclation since 4 years, 1m87 for 86kg

I have an insane speed, reflexes similar to my speed. I just have to wait for him to charge me, dodge his attacks, and throw good punches to his head. I won't stop, and at the smallest mistake he does, the kangaroo is finished.

You'll always have virgins from here thinking that it's impossible. First, nothing is impossible with will, my friends, and 2) that's not with your weak ass bodies that you'll do anything.

Any man with a minimum of training can beat a kangaroo with a knife anyway. With bare hands, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills.

>>70161960
Its alright. Bit gamey, we don't have kangaroo where I live though. Only wallaby

Here's an interesting fact, for me at least, did you know that marsupials such as kangaroo are halal but not kosher?

>>70162103
Any normal person can fuck a kangaroo up, or get hit in the belly and their guts will come out

Also why the fuck is chicken kosher? Really need to remember to ask the next Israeli I see

>>70162188
this

Also why the fuck is chicken kosher? Really need to remember to ask the next Israeli I see

was 4 u >>70161960

>>70162103
>I'm gay and I try to hide it being a bad boy

LOL

>>70162332
It sounds like a good idea for a thread. I still prefer a lighter version of the Chinese way of knowing what's edible.
Anything with 2 legs except humans, with 4 legs but not a table or a chair, anything that flies except planes and helicopters. Roughly any animal that's not a pet and that's not poisonous.

>>70162654
Yeah but you're french man. You know we anglos get a bit funny on the whole business

What's the """strangest""" thing you've eaten?

Mines croc

>>70162762
Nothing out of the ordinary. I've eaten most of the French dishes an Anglo would find adventurous,like horse steaks, escargots, sheep's brains, chicken's frog's and pork's legs, chicken's crest, beef's tongues, mealworms, some flowers like violets or roses, but nothing too strange.

>>70163213
>chicken's crest
?

And yeah fair enough mate. Like I said you're french so you can't really hold it against you

>>70163213
Also what is horse like? I imagine its pretty good

>>70163213
Snails are also very very good

>>70145990
Objectively incorrect

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>>70163260
The crest of a rooster is edible. You'd cook it with the rooster in your coq au vin and eat it.
Horse is a bit stronger than beef, not as strong as an aged steak. The taste isn't out of the ordinary or very different than your usual steaks. You should try moose if you want something with a bigger difference.

>>70156137
Yeah but different ones. I'd be more afraid of what's in the ocean to what's in the bush. Snakes won't bite unless you're stupid, dingos are rare, spiders are mostly an east coast thing and kangaroos only get violent if you piss them off. Jellyfish, stingrays and octopi can kill you before you get a chance to get back to shore. Sharks are a constant problem too.

>>70163602
Mmm. I'd like to try moose and reindeer desu

Then again just beef works pretty well so I can't complain. A nice steak is $12 here though from the supermarket

The dangerous wildlife meme is a meme. If you live in metropolitan Australia the worst you get are big spiders. The common poisonous ones haven't killed anyone for decades either thanks to anti venom.

Unless you go running through the bush like a retarded American you're never going to have any problems. Snakes and kangaroos only attack if they feel threatened and an emu isn't going to do shit to you. Dingos are dying out too and they don't tend to attack humans that much.

Blue ringed octopi and box jellyfish are what you have to look out for.

I'd take what we have any day over bears, wolves and that kind of shit

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>>70163698
It's about the same price in Euros. Maybe you could find some reindeer dried sausage. Deer is good too, and easier to find.

>>70163984
Yeah local butchers doesn't even have deer hey. Bit of a bummer because its pretty nice

Tasmanian cows are pretty happy looking though. Nice to munch on

One place I'd like to travel to for the food is Hungary. Completely alien

>>70142380
No they're not. Drop bears are and they're marsupials yeah.

>>70164395
>LE DOOP PEARS XD XD XD

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>>70139539
>DAE AUSTRALIA LE NOPE COUNTRY AMIRITE?

>>70141862
Is it eating a mouse??

>>70164450
You need more wild animals crossing the street in the us than you do in aus.

>>70164531
Try that one again

>>70163979
don't forget the foxes that lurk the burbs

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They are completely harmless. Come to Australia and pet one of these cuties.