/brit/

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włoski

stupid STUPID edition

next time I'm at the club I'll try and pull for the lads on /brit/

Just thought of a thought that I thought of before, the thought being that I may overthink certain things and thoughts, but then, though, I thought maybe me thinking this thought of a thought that I've thought of before maybe just me overthinking a thought about overthinking thoughts.

And your thoughts?

>>70076716
m8 you're dancing in a nightclub full of drunk spastics. I can guarantee you that unless you are a legit mongoloid at dancing, no one will remember the next day.

not a fan of cats

Going to quit my job to become a disciple in a tibetan monastery lads.

my whole life would be different if i had gone to the school dance in year 10

say something mean to me

>stock image
>watermark and banner
pretty dire edition

Leave it to the pros next time.

>>70076803
you're a decent lad

>>70076803
Your parents are proud of you

How do you gracefully turn down a sext offer

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>>70076768
How do i dance with a girl then

>>70076617
why am i a cunt?

gf just ate an entire tub of ben and jerry's ice cream by herself

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>hey anon!
>what are your plans for valentines day?

>>70076803
I'd give you my last rolo

>>70076803
something mean to me

parcelforce says the driver left five hours ago WHERE IS MY DELIVERY

>>70076864
They do that sometimes

Done 20 laps around this roundabout so far in me new parcelforce van

getting a bit dizzy but oh well heheh wahey

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>>70076873

>>70076844
already wanked ta x

>>70076873
am i being detained

>dictionary plug-in
what a world lads

>>70076864
I can do that with ease, the gf struggles

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>Chris Leslie and Mary Creagh sitting beside each other in the HoC.
Oo, what other surprises shall mine eyes be indulged by today (?)

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>>70076904
PARCEL FORCE

>>70076850
>face towards girl
>continue dancing
>talk
>take her hand and playfully give her a splin

I've had girls do the whole thing when they rub thier arse in your crotch and bend over and jiggle about and honestly that is kinda awkward because even I wasn't sure how to navigate that one

>>70076894
they do don't they

baffling...

update: the postal man came!!!!!

HehehehehehHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHEHEHEHE!!!!!

>>70076850
that's kinda like asking "how do i a kiss a girl"

it's very hard to explain. i suppose you just want to be rhythmic and incorporate your limbs rather than just bobbing up and down. if a girl starts grinding on you, grind into her and let your hands grab her hips or some shit.

again, it's very hard to explain. the most important thing is just being rhythmic and moving your arms, abdomen, neck and head desu

I am a big sucker for old school dance moves. a well executed spin of the girl will have them gushing in no time.

absolutely 100% just truly failed an exam

never done that before in my life

don't even care either

>>70076850
put your arms on her hips, have her arms around your neck and move side to side then gradually move closer until you can start kissing. mix it up a bit by turn her around and pressing your willy against her bum and moving side to side.

heh

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Great film

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мяy

>>70076943
le funny face sweating man

going to have some chicken supernoodles and green tea

feeling oriental x

hah

>>70076950
had a columbian girl do this to me

she was well fit but i hadnt a fucking clue what to do

in the end i just went to dance with the significantly less attractive but more on-my-level-of-autism russian girl

>>70076950
>I've had girls do the whole thing when they rub thier arse in your crotch and bend over and jiggle about and honestly that is kinda awkward because even I wasn't sure how to navigate that one
just realized ive never experienced this

https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/5of9tg/the_light_has_left_my_life/

>women

last time I was inna dance a girl stroked my chest
was that a flirt

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>>70076959
>>70076977
>>70076983
Why aren't you lads at work or something?

Better not be getting advice from NEETs

>>70077025
I'm a student and my lectures are all recorded this term

Anybody here watch Sam Hyde?

>>70076850
but also just try and act natural and not do anything too forced

you can get in close by leaning in to say something in her ear especially if its loud

finna bus a nut up in this bitch

Why do we learn about American civil rights in school?

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recent snap from the gf to me

>Buy nudie jeans
>Worn them for pretty much a solid year
>Can feel the upper thigh is starting to wear through

Wondering whether to buy a new pair as I fit currently or leaving it a bit. Losing weight currently and would like to get one of the slimmer pairs.

>>70077025
it's 11pm and hot as fuck

>>70077007
hands on hips and arse and crotch and that

Nothing but worthless cucks
DIE

>>70077053
FEEL BAD FOR BLACK PEOPLE GOY!

G O T T S T R A F E E N G L A N D
O
T
T
S
T
R
A
F
E
E
N
G
L
A
N
D

>>70077055
could knock her out in under 30 seconds, with 10 ounce gloves on

>>70077025
Wednesday is normie sports day at uni so there's no lectures on

this is A STUDENT GENERAL.

>>70077022
Can tell already this is fake 2bh

>>70077069
mate she was something else she was properly going for it and dropping to the floor

hadn't the fucking foggiest what to do

>>70077090
Banter.

>>70077084
dont speak kraut

god help england or something?

>>70077091
that was meant for >>70077015
but it's applicable to @022 as well I guess

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>>70077025
>"NEETs"
>nobody works through nights

>>70077069
thats a lot of flags
may i have some flags, brother?

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>>70076873

>>70077091
no it was strange
she was just going to the toilet and put her hand on my chest to get past and then held it there before moving her hand downwards

>>70077090
arrogant

>>70077084
MEDIIIIIIIIIC

70077124
>anime poster
Hmmm nah, you're an honourary NEET

im a NEET nice to meet you

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*does a little dance*
*makes a little love*
Peh, too easy lads.

>>70077185
>nice to meet you
the feeling's not mutual

>>70076909
I love this pic

>>70077203
fuck off

Going to job interview lads, wish me luck

>>70077015
jesus christ

blackbirds in the back garden
NO PARCEL ON MY PORCH

>>70077226
*wishes you luck*

*drives to your wifes house*

would you fuck a married woman?

>>70077251
yes and I'd enjoy it more

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the gf

>>70077251
If I was married to her? Yeah why not. If I wasn't married to her? Yeah sure who cares.

Going to pick up the wifes son lads.

>>70077264
I could beat her in a fight no problem

"came out" to the gf as an introvert, lads

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[places a bet]

Have I been banned yet?

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alri

>>70077323
wrongun

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gf just sent me this

>>70077251
of course not. im not a massive cunt who enables that sort of behaviour. bet the wankers who do are also the bellends who moan about women doing that kind of thing here all day.

I wasn't banned.

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>I am proud to be British

>>70077264
mediocre face
mediocre chebs
mediocre bum

>>70077251
yeah probably

>>70077346
they're not equivalent at all you bellsniff

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hmm

she's certainly caring to go give volunteer in africa

>>70077323
matey must be half chicken

>>70077251
probably

I have very low self-esteem despite everyone thinking I'm a cocky twat. I have a gf as well and still would probably do it.

reckon I'm a massive loser haha

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D2 dindu 4-2?

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*audio fades in slowly*

Hello everyone, this is running on empty...

Food Review!

>>70077376
if you say so.

>>70077345
could spark her out with a jab

>>70077389
i reckon you're a massive loser too haha

>>70077379
FUCKING NORMY
REEEEEEEE

is this what you were after?

gf sent me this

>>70077251
Already have mate

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Can't smoke weed and watch porn until tomorrow.
REEEE.

Posters i like
>me
>myself
>I

posters i dislike
>everyone else

sub-lime posts all round

ngl would like to see the oneitis' fanny being stretched by a black willy

>>70077346
What if her marriage is falling apart and she suspects her husband of sleeping with another woman?

would love to spaff all over a girl and then snapchat it to her bf

Eager to please and easy to squeeze

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>she doesn't exist therefore he literally got nothing.

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>>70077364

>>70077015
yeah the woman is a bitch whatever blah blah
but honestly I am far more disgusted at the fella here

what a runty utter worm

>>70077477
sounds like a slogan for POF

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>>70077396
will put you on the pavement instantly

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got absolutely fuck all to do

>>70077458
>petty revenge by stooping to his level

yeh great idea.

>>70077498
not wrong lad

he should have binned her right there

hate you all
hope i die
good night

>>70077505
i dont think anyone who habitally saves anime pictures and posts them on imageboards have EVER caused physical harm to another human IRL

I'll open you like a can on beans

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>>70077392
*busses the skeng*

>>70077515
same lad

gonna take some 4F-MPH then head out for a walk I think

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>I'm glad you came anon, always good to spend some alone time with my daughter's boyfriend. Lovely shirt, is it new? Let's get some drinks

>>70077534
hope a didgeridoo crawls in your window and throttles you in your sleep

>>70077531
and kicked the shit out of the guy who was fucking his wife

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>i dont think anyone who habitally saves anime pictures and posts them on imageboards have EVER caused physical harm to another human IRL
>I'll open you like a can on beans

michael jackson didn't do it

>>70077554
>just a coke for me thanks, I quit drinking earlier today

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just got up
might have a brunch

>>70077525
Shut up lad, if some milfy married woman wanted to fuck you and it was a one off you wouldn't say no

im under 5'9

>>70077554
she doesn't look old enough to have a daughter who is old enough to have a boyfriend

>>70077601
me 2

im exactly 5'9

>>70077601
me 3

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>>70077554
>that audio /u/BadGirlUK made for /r/gonewildaudio about getting a handjob from your girlfriend's mum (before she deleted her account)

Absolutely primo wank material. Still have it saved of course.

>>70077554
give me your milk mummy

>>70077599
>im a heartless cunt so you must be too

no

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>>70076996
What did thou fuckin' say m0yt?
Come in, close door, then say that to me, hard man.

>>70077610
>>70077626
suck my willy please

>>70077623
fuck off lanklet

>>70077604
She looks at least 40, so no you're wrong

kind of respect those lads with a strong moral code and the conviction to stick to it

wish I had one

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>>70077546
dont do drugs you horrible little scrote

>>70077631
At least post a link mate

>>70077637
Ok Mr Morals

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>>70077601
>>70077610
>>70077626

>>70077651
she looks 19-27

>>70077660
my moral code is to judge each situation on its own merits and not be restricted by some arbitrary code on honour I have just made up at some point

>>70077601
>>70077610
>>70077626
hahaha

>>70077667
It's a research chemical you plen, when I said take I meant take it down to the laboratory to do some titrations of course. But yeah I definitely still will be taking it (to the lab).

>>70077599
>implying
if she mentions you during an argument you are fucked
nothing more dangerous than a hopeless middle aged bloke in a blind rage

didn't realise it was my responsibility to keep every woman faithful

>>70077546
>4F-MPH
what is this

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>>70076730
SHIT edition

>>70077688
>she looks 19-27
>>>/opticians/

you and your gf are having the best sex of your life when she moans her ex's name

wat do?

>>70077688
you don't have a moral code and do whatever you feel like...nice to know, but runts like you (and I) are everywhere

what a shit thread

>>70077714
Good post

>>70077323
that person has a very small cranium

>>70077706
I'm a big guy so I wouldn't give a fuck tbqh

dogfags are autistic

>>70077721
make that noise scooby doo makes when he's confused

>>70077721
moan her ex's name as well to fuck with her

who gives a shit if you're short lads
don't listen to them

>>70077736
t. beta orbitter

>>70077721
when you say you and the gf do you mean me and the gf or me, the bull and the gf?

>>70077721
moan my ex's

>>70077599
idk. If she looked like will's mum from the inbetweeners i probably would but anything short of that wouldn't be worth it to wreck some poor bloke's life

>>70077721
Cross muhself in respect to da dead 'cause I'm fittn' kill dat nigga

>>70077762
Best Answer

>>70077721
my gf has no exs

>>70077772
5'8 isn't short its average

>>70077755
i would fucking heem you in a second

>>70077782
what if the husband is shagging someone else?

>>70077775
I have a girlfriend mate

stop dodging the fact that you're a runt. 90% of people are so it's normal.

>>70077746
yeah i'm sure being a fat cunt protects you from stab wounds

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u mad anglo boi?

>>70077736
idk define moral code

maybe I have one but its lax, I wouldn't kill a dog for no reason, or do bad things when there is no profit in it for myself

>>70077800
For a member of the lollipop guild

>>70077816
post pics

>>70077759
ruh roh

>>70077676
>at least post a link
Original is gone, she deleted her account. Re-upped it for anyone who is interested though:

https://a.uguu.se/56L3h5JcypGf.m4a

(link expires after 24 hours)

>>70077782
why/how do you even care about some random guy you've never met???

>>70077816
>stop dodging the fact that you're a runt
And you're dodging the fact that you're a pathetic moralfag who thinks about things too much

>>70077839
>that voice
dropped

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He's a big guy?

>>70077839
She doesn't sound old enough to be a mum, immersion ruined tbqh

>>70077829
whats that haha

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LOL

>>70077858
No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

t. John Donne

>>70077814
idk, it'd probably make it easier. Still pretty degenerate though imo

hatpost me if you like but I am above your petty human sensibilities of right and wrong

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>>70077839
>welsh
>sounds about 18
Not really doing it for me mate

>>70077906
Can't hatpost anymore, janny outlawed it the dull cunt

>>70077858
because i'm not literally autistic so i have empathy?

>>70077899
absolutely irrelevant

>>70077818
I'm built like a rugby player

>>70077902
Their marriage problems are not your problem

>>70077926
only because spergs like you aren't able to moderate its use.

just right swiped a tranny on tinder. now we wait

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Experiencing both happiness and sadness at the same time lads.

>>70077554
are those breasts or planets

>>70077860
>>70077884
>>70077910
Fair dues lads, to each their own.

>>70077839
>that voice
No thanks my dude

>>70077859
>pathetic moralfag
I'm not though you complete idiot. I only said I respect those with strong convictions and morals who have the backbone to stick to them, not that I am one. I'm just a runt like you (a lot smarter though haha).

>who thinks about things too much
thinking too much, eh? nobody could accuse you of doing that :^)

just got a match lads
better throw on a dress in case he wants another pic

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>only because spergs like you aren't able to moderate its use.

>>70077713
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4-Fluoromethylphenidate

If your post is longer than one line I will quite literally not even attempt to read it, it will be immediately hidden and I will carry on without a second thought

Adjust your posts if you want it to be read

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>>70077941
>why/how do you even care about some random guy you've never met???

>"For I am involved in mankind"

>absolutely irrelevant

Hmmm

>>70077956
they don't go to grindr instead?

reee

REE

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

reee...... rooooo..... rooo

doin a purge

>>70077983
Your attitude won't get you far

>>70077935
I'm not remotely autistic, so stop projecting.

pretending to care about strangers is just a lie people do so they seem like "good people" in reality you just can't care about people you don't know in a real way

>>70077998
sounds a bit dodgy

>>70078021
almost as edgy as my knife which still hasnt been delivered

>>70077999
This. My Australian friend brings up a poignant point that must be discussed amongst us /brit/ters. Posts longer than one line are simply not acceptable and it's something that we must work on as a community. I believe it was William Shakespeare who said "Brevity is the soul of wit". As Englishmen we should take this into account. These generals are merely a form of entertainment as we kill time to move on to the new section of the day, whether it be a lecture, revising or dinner for pathetic NEET cunts. I again, reiterate, that this Australian, regardless of malevolence and insolence displayed, raises a highly valid point that posts must be condensed furthermore into only one line.

>>70078020
what are you on about now mongo? don't think my attitude towards morality has anything to do with my how succesful I am lad

>>70078061
nothing edgy there, im just honest

>>70078061
just a sec

>>70078021
woah mate... you're a true enlightened nihilist i see... thank you for enlightening me

>>70078060
It's just Ritalin with a fluorine atom stuck on.

>>70078084
yeah well carbon monoxide is CO2 with an oxygen atom taken off.

One atom could be a life or death situation.

>>70078083
im not a nihlist, altrusim doesn't exist though

a fluorine atom

>>70078061
ah yes, that guy whom I see every day but we have no reason to speak to each other and nothing in common, he truly is my deepest soulmate (!)

>>70078007
Why would trannies go on an app marketed towards gay men?

>what do you mean fucking over some poor bloke just to get my dick wet and perpetuating shitty behaviour by cuntish women is questionable?
>you're autistic for caring about people
>you should be a cold sociopathic nihilist like me

haha jfc. state of you runts.

>>70078111
yeah well cyanide ion is just a atom of carbon with a bonus nitrogen 2bh

>>70078111
CO2 and CO are both toxic gases. Ritalin has been tested as safe not sure what point you're making.

>>70078131
because gays men like fucking other blokes

watching sherlock series 1. amazing just how horrendously shite it became

>>70077721
think if i ever got a gf i would be extremely preoccupied with the fact shes had other guys before me hahah

>>70078131
>why would gay men in dresses go on an app marketed towards gay men
real head scratcher, that one

>>70078157
Don't think there's anything attractive about trannies to gay men.

imagine owning a combat knife for "protection"

what sort of a runt would you have to be

gf moaned her ex's name during sex lads

needless to say the police are gonna have a lot of trouble finding this body

>>70077956
>tfw cant have a trans gf because theres a 99% chance >she'll be taller than me

>>70078134
strawmanning so you seem in the right

ye okay la, goodnight

still in bed lads

send help

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Do not believe I will ever have sex

>>70078206
MUMMY MAY I FOUND ONE!!!!! SIC HIM!!!!

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>>70078190
Edgy.

The more I lurk the more I realize just how similar Brit is to /Polska/ desu

It's basically gf posting, neet posting, memes and politics all in the slightly exxagarated way parodying normie speak just switching out the language.
You guys are allright. and your police is mega based. Playing through mw3 rn and the London sections make me a little fuzzy inside >tfw not a SAS soldier

Btw what are your thoughts on Katie Hopkins?

Wanted to make a funny thread but my ISP, IP Range and/or country is banned from making threads.

>>70078226
just go to amsterdam and shag a window prozzie like all the failed deanos do

>>70078198
This
Of you don't own a katana for home defence you should commit soduku

>>70078243
is there an autistic swede in the polish general as well?

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>The more I lurk the more I realize just how similar Brit is to /Polska/ desu

>It's basically gf posting, neet posting, memes and politics all in the slightly exxagarated way parodying normie speak just switching out the language.
>You guys are allright. and your police is mega based. Playing through mw3 rn and the London sections make me a little fuzzy inside >tfw not a SAS soldier

>Btw what are your thoughts on Katie Hopkins?

>>70078243
>Katie Hopkins
Entertaining, good at what she does (trigger people) but i wouldn't take her seriously politically. She does says whatever gets a reaction because it pays the bills

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>1,800 calories in 90 seconds

>>70078269
What is it that I always see Australians posting in here

>>70078243
Poles are alright
Katie Hopkins says some truth but she's too preoccupied with getting as much media attention as she can get to take her seriously

How do you feel about polish diaspora? Most Poles I see on here think they are scum

Blushing is the most honest thing a person does - an involuntary reddening of the cheeks caused by your soul glowing.
You can't fake blush except with makeup, which means makeup is the least honest thing a person can do.

>>70078310
fat cunt

>>70078243
she was originally just paid to say contraversial stuff to rile people up but she's actually saying some pretty based these days

>>70078243
its because all the poles live in the uk

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>The more I lurk the more I realize just how similar Brit is to /Polska/ desu

>It's basically gf posting, neet posting, memes and politics all in the slightly exxagarated way parodying normie speak just switching out the language.
>You guys are allright. and your police is mega based. Playing through mw3 rn and the London sections make me a little fuzzy inside >tfw not a SAS soldier

>Btw what are your thoughts on Katie Hopkins?

>>70078310
Don't think that's humanly possible. Nothing can be that calorie dense and still edible within a minute and change, surely.

Got a parcelforce delivery here for Mr A. Non, some sort of knife I think.

Any of you lads know if he lives here?

>>70078243
I quite like polish lads tbqh. Katie Hopkins just says whatever she can to make headlines, doubt she even believes half of it

>>70078331
Don't post again

>>70078067
Why would you care about some bloke you don't even know?

>>70078300
>>70078358
now now lads no need to be rude to our guest

>>70078345
Or maybe your personal views have just shifted to the point where you see her differently desu ne

>>70078363
no mate not heard of him

got the ol' 23andme package shipped. Should arrive here any day now x

bought a 3kg bag of gummy snakes from amazon but underestimated how much that really is

anyone want one haha

>>70078384
alri alex delarge

>>70078360
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3Sr2v9njSs

>>70078402
me

*presents arsehole*

Going to shower and maybe play Independence War 2 to pass the time til tomorrow.

>>70078402
yeah go on I'll have 1 (one)

>>70078402
yeah alri send it through parcelforce i'll tell you how it tastes next year

>>70078315
Australians are basically tan brits

>>70078419
what's happnin morrow lad

>>70078402
let's see them lad

>>70078412
what the fu

>>70078300
she's not the brightest bulb in the box, but she makes points that regular media fear to touch.

>>70078398
enjoy your dna being owned by the jews

Just made meself a piping hot cup of Lipton black tea before bed lads. I was feeling a little naughty so I put in 4 sugars

>>70078412
based megatoad

>>70078372
Will post until I die of anger and loneliness.

>>70078412
do fat people really shovel it in like that?

>about to try and sleep
>better make myself a caffeinated beverage with added energy in crystal form

>caused by your soul glowing
Way to post like a faggot.

>>70078447
>Black tea before going to sleep
>SUGAR before going to sleep

>female judging and meddling in my relationship
FUCK
OFF

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very slow eater and easily feel sick/get indigestion if eat quickly

>>70078537
sure sign of a runt

>>70078537
will keep you thin lad

>>70078392
nah as in she used to just say purposely retarded shit for attention
for example the time she went on a breakfast show to rant about how having place names in your name is chavvy and lower class, despite the fact that her daughters name is india
nowadays though she mostly talks about being pro-brexit, pro-trump, anti-refugee, anti-muslim etc

>>70078504
Fuck up, cunt. You fucking shits stop harassing me to donate to Greenpeace / Oxfam / Amnesty every time I leave the train station and go back to Ireland forever, kindly.

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>it says here you drank fluids full of sugar before trying to get to sleep? why should we hire someone with such poor discernment?

watching this thing on itv player called guidance

so shit

acting is so bad

plot so cringy

>>70078444 meant for >>70078243

>>70078513
Can't turn down a nice piping hot cup of Lipton lad, it's quintessentially British

>>70078576

I'm a risk taker

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>discernment

>>70078412
seen the woman who ate a 72oz steak in 3 minutes

fucking horrifying

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What did the Beeb mean by this?

>>70078402
should have just got them at the Way2Save, your one-stop shop for all your gummy needs

*extends my weak palm from the cage in want of food*

>>70078650
they have british passports. thats the only aspect of their britishness

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>>70078567
actually im getting a bit fat

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>>70078738
>>70078738
>>70078738

>>70078300
i know I'm sorry I forgot to delete the meme
>>70078365
Yeah her Twitter is pretty good
>>70078322
Depends on the person really, in a way the society is very closed in here meaning not only is it just very hostile but also promotes this trust no one attitude so its very dependent on the person
My family absolutely despises me for talking to taxi drivers even though they usually open up to me and I find it fascinating to listen most of the time and have a talk that honestly gives some meaning to the rest of the day. The red scum has killed everything good about this country, and now it's being used to jack money from the people that remain. Pretty sad desu

Also sorry for the late reply I'm on a restricted 3G connection so the captcha takes 5 minutes to load

i imagine all aussie posters to speak like mike nolan

got called greg at the races lads

>>70078726
the weak must fear the strong

>>70078726
amusing that he'll have wanked to that pic for days

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thoughts?

>>70078437
Weed and porn. x

Nearing 2pm... the normies have still not vacated the kitchen

Weakness is beginning to set in

I may have to order food delivery before the day is over

>Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well.
What is this supposed to mean? It's from Clockwork Orange, by the way.

>>70078892
go to the kitchen anyway

>>70078961
clockwork orange uses a bunch of nonsense words