/brit/

ELIZA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNXg6NKgVm8

I nicked a pint glass in Ibiza

Just to show /brit/ I was cool

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włoski

shan't

Client books me for an hour (in a hotel) and does not disclose his condition - severe incontinence.

Turns up in a NAPPY saturated with piss and then looks crestfallen that I will not do OWO (room is reeking).

How I stomached it I will never know but I just got on with the very basics (it was a quiet day). When I stop (on the dot!) he then proceeds to put back on, the said drenched nappy.

Before he leaves he 'inspects' the shower in my room and says he'll use it next time!!

>>70052784
why are yank editions almost always even more shite than leaf editions? baffling

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me in the middle

leafs must be the worst at gimmicks of all posters

>>70052813
>K-on poster in the background
good girl

>>70052784
Just found the condoms I bought 3 years ago, still sealed haha

>>70052871
You have a problem with borders language and culture boyo?

>>70052813
i am absolutely certain i had seen her with another name

>>70052485
>bikes
>going in a straight line
>eurobeat
genuinely retarded

>>70052864
Made up bollocks

>>70052905

I used mine when shagging my homemade fleshlight

the angry impotent yank is my favorite gimmick

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>leafs must be the worst at gimmicks of all posters

>>70052943
I might open them and have some posh wanks

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>tfw you will never be a based maori
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kr5Znx4cxKQ

>>70052877
what are you doing there? get out m8

having a whiff

http://i.4cdn.org/tv/1484677638983.webm

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>football on tv
>turn it off
>can hear the stadium from my living room

Lads I have a big penny box, where should I take it to get turned into normal money?

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>Premium Economy

>>70052905
Never bought any because I'll never have sex anyway.

Might try a poshie sometime though.

>>70053030
The Brothel

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3510958/How-viral-fame-killed-father-left-foster-care-friendless-Girl-meme-bullying-4chan-members-age-11-reveals-horrific-toll-Internet-family-six-years-later.html
>Jessi Slaughter became a viral meme at age 11 after posting a video on YouTube about her 'haters' and her looks
>She was placed into foster care after the video exacerbated her abusive father's rage
>The following year her father died and she eventually returned to live with her mother
>Jessi now goes by the name Damien and prefers to be refereed to with they/them pronouns
woman btfo so hard she doesn't even want to be a woman anymore

Where do I get a 4chan gf?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25GMWWrc2c0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRb4QnGDqyQ

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>based maori

>>70053030
the bank

do brits know they're just celts in denial?

>all these bikini slags on Coach Trip
Noice

>the leader of Britain first was in prison for 8 weeks over Christmas

Weird I didn't hear about this in the MSM

>>70052912
FOY

>>70053073
>deadass

deserves all the humiliation he can get

>>70053073
haha bet Jeffery was hoping for more than a hug

My name jeff

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>FOY

>>70053074
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPLp90DBVhs

>>70053074
kek I remember that

>cyber police

>>70053029
Truly painful. Play some music.

Really like this video :) hope you will too

https://youtu.be/4MBxh-RjQtI

just got out of prison lads

>>70053167
>poonited states
>poo dork
>assau county
>oyster gay

>>70053074
wood berry tbf

>>70053167
look at that fucking ead

Who is this radio guy?

Lads, I need advice.

I've managed to get a date with a girl. We've been talking since December and we'll be meeting next Saturday in the evening . She said it's fine if we just go for drinks first and then get food later if we feel like it.

Problem is, I don't have much experience with girls. How do I know when to hold their hand or kiss them ? How do I initiate it? How often should I compliment them? What are some good conversation starters?

do they?
>>70053103

very much liked and agreed with mummy may's brexit speech lads

>>70053167
Nothing wrong our are Karl you cheeky cunt

Just released a runt from my prison

fuck off swiss cunt

>>70053251
Girls are just normal people and she must like you if you're on a date.

You should talk about something you have in common, like a lack of balls for one.

>>70053245
like a fucking orange

>>70053089
bet those cretins slobber over their monitors for her ego

new facebook messenger is crap

>>70053251
PUA master here

you wanna get laid? do the following:

lead off with a neg and then look for IOI's, make sure you escalate quickly and keep playfully insulting while laying foundation, but don't forget to agonize her friends while giving off clarity of intent, look for affirmations (her breathing) and keep communication frequency at compliance, she will shit test you so build credibility by direct game, using the disarm approach wingman. Drop anchor, then eject while eye glazing using the implicit technique, one she's lockedout nickle back her till game over.

>>70053323
don't get why they made a shitty snapchat clone desu

Feels like she has a Welsh accent desu

https://youtu.be/g4BN3HwLIeY

Girls are absolute mingers lads. Went to some bird's flat and she had a fucking vibratory just sitting out all willy nilly in her Fucking living room.

>>70053251
What have you been talking about since december.

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gf still isn't talking to me after I forgot to buy her a Christmas present

>>70052921
ciara

>>70053331
escalate the touching bro kino dude

>>70053253
Britain consists of several kingdoms, three of whom are celtic and do not deny it

>>70053253
some of us are yeah

I took a benzo in east london

Just to show Rasheed i was cool

Government idea: pay people more so they get taxed and spend more

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Prof showed me this one laddies, what do you think?

>>70053323
>>70053334
Fuck off normie cunts.

>>70053348
I'd have just left there and then

>>70053331
>tfw met with a girl
>negged when I should have pozz'd
>burst into treats

>>70053364
ahahaha you finally figured it out
>huh? NO idea why she wouldn't be talking to me at ALL
utter cretin

>>70053344
didn't understand a word

so yeah, could be welsh

>>70053367
why don't you speak celtic than?
lol
>>70053369
>some
try "all"

>>70053364
shes probably cheated on you for revenge

>>70053375
>>70053423
diabolical posts

Just booked hotel and flight to london. going to see Hamilton the musical. So excited

>>70053375
If you likee islamic prayer,...and Sharia law


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLom-87AmO8

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>>70052647
>Ah yes this old charmer of a memory
mine

>>70053397
Karl Pilkington is the peak of humanity

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It's almost official lads

>>70053074
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4128328/Ella-Henderson-proudly-displays-curves-black-bikini.html
saw this in the sidebar

surely it is done in jest? can anyone confirm?

>>70053455
barbie

>>70053447
all? the fuck you on about? most of the place is scandinavian/german/french

>>70053411
I literally did. Called her a tramp on my way out. Fucking tramp.

took great pleasure in reading the butthurt comments when the independent posted their breaking news story on facebook about brexit being "harder than anyone imagined"

don't get why people fall for their clickbait it's so obvious and shit

>>70053447
Because England is the largest, richest, most populous, dominant and founding country

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>>70053487

>>70053482
Just show him this pic and you'll be diagnosed autistic.

>>70053482
dont think you have much to worry about revealing the medical practitioners details

>>70053030
Those machines in sainsburys

But they take like 25%

Best antifa organisations in S. Yorks? Trying to get into fash bashing.

>>70052877
is this the hardon accelerator?

>>70053525
very much so this

>>70053167
excellent post

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>tfw all of the boys and all of the girls aren't begging to If You Seek Amy

Weak gimmicks here hmmm

>>70053498
>>70053513
mates there's no point

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me on the right

>>70053030
machine the bank will count it. they dont take a cut either because you're depositing it with them

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>>70053482
Soon you'll have a membership card

>>70053482
WHY would somebody do this

>>70053482
>>>/r/4chan

sittin in the county im livin in an hourglass
twigglin my fuckin thumbs waiting on time to pass

>>70053611
stop posting this realdoll

>>70053571
Yeah i know, the autistic calculator button comes here for (You)s

>>70053133
east coast slang

>>70053048
100% sad

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>>70053478
Me.

What does it mean if I have too much empathy and for example feel vicarious embarrassment for people who don't even feel embarrassed themselves?

>>70053508
good lad. I'd have taken the vibrator too

>>70053544
Alaskan Way Viaduct

check out this documentary about me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ8EAwRauoM&t=1625s

>>70053661
fuck off literal rasheed

>>70053540
Look up Sheffield anti fascist network on normiebook

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woah. ..

they found me guilty and sentenced me 20 to life
im readin page by page of the Bible every night

>>70053696
FOY

>>70053710
really makes you think

>>70053662
sensitive to surrounding chakras

sounds like you have a finely tuned third eye

How does America manage to look so good despite mostly being built in the 40s-current

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>>70053030
>>70053538
>unplug the ethernet cable
>doesn't take a commission

http://officialteresamay.com/

lol

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>>70053757
>How does America manage to look so good

>>70053725
paki cunt doesn't even use the gimmick correctly

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Imagine if London looked like this instead of a paki shithole

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>>70053074
>who now goes by Damien and they/them pronouns
Anon, this isn't right

>>70053757
better design theories and a more forward looking culture

Reply to this post if you're a virgin

>>70053680
Don't relate to this

>>70053766
some of them have wifi

>>70053757
global hegemony

>>70053710
reminds me of your mum

>>70053350
Stuff. Ourselves and what we do. She went to Australia this month so talked about that. Music. Films. Literature. Etc

Thankfully we've got fairly similar taste in stuff. Like she's known a few of the bands and films I've recommended to her, ones I wouldn't expect normies to know.

Also she's an INFP and I'm an INFJ if you care about that sort of thing.

>>70053812

cute dog

>>70053812
american flags everywhere?

>>70053817
:(

>>70053680
shy boys 2003
emotional shawtys in this bitch

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me irl

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>>70053790
Thats only west coast. Most suburbs look more like this. Especially in the midwest and the east

now been alcohol free for 18 days and the daily morning vomiting has ceased, still coughing up a lot of phlegm though

>>70053103
>anglos
>saxons
litterally the name of their ancestors (for a majority of them) who came from Holland, North West Germany and Denmark
can you even into culture my francophone friend?

>>70053889
*inhales deeply*

>>70053648
I know, it needs to get binned

>>70053812
not nearly as rich and successful?

living in a flat is more pleasant than living in a house

>>70053928
probably acid reflux
go get some stuff from your gp

>>70053923
what do PNW suburbs look like?

>>70053788
>http://officialteresamay.com/
>This is a downloadable set of 25 pictures of me
>£10

fucking hell

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Really want a cute Colombian gf to cuddle with 2bh

>>70053947
gets a bit lonely living on your own

A Nigerian air force jet has mistakenly bombed a camp for displaced people near Rann in the north-east, killing up to 100 people and injuring dozens more.

>>70053923
VERY comfy

If I sleep every day I wake up after 8 hours but if I sleep every other day I only sleep for 11 hours.

That's 2.5 hours gained PER DAY. What a life hack.

UK is crap

http://imgur.com/a/IJWvI
how do people like this exist? how can they be so un-self aware?

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ah yes

had three pints and took half a xan

feeling niiiiiiiiiiiiiice

>>70053962
can you post an example?

>>70054017
{"data":{"error":"Imgur is temporarily over capacity. Please try again later."},"success":false,"status":500}

>>70053992
what do you do with the extra time you've gained?

>>70053979
living in a house alone would be dead
living in a flat alone is fine though, and you can hear the city living just by opening your window

>>70053985
imagine if the RAF """""""""accidentally""""""" bombed the North

Got a white bitch sniffing beaver lads

>>70053985
whoops!

>>70053979
>muh loneliness
FONT

>>70053947
WRONG

>>70054052
wank to femdom doujins

>>70053923
where is this image taken, my google image search isn't working for some reason

got severe heart problems

going to drop dead on the bus one day, I can feel it

>>70054056
i get far too bored by when i'm by myself on weekends

>>70054080
everyone gets lonely sometime

i actually don't know what to post

>>70054064
yeah it might as well be a bloody refugee camp with all the southerners wanting to be part of the northern powerhouse

>>70054017
Don't get guys who get obsessed with one girl they met on an app. Just talk to another one lol

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>Tfw gyno

>>70054050
bizarre

>>70054017
>last text from the girl on the 25th
>gets to the 28th
>"I get it I can take a hint"

Christ it's worse than what I think /brit/ would do

>>70053790
and yet these houses are literally three times the size of your average UK 'burb with rows and rows of terraced housing. FON

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wtf I hate tories now

>>70054104
Its someones personal image from /r9k/

>>70054121
at least you won't die of brain aneurysm while doing a poo

any yanks in here?

prefer rubbing my penis and balls like a vagina instead of masturbating

>>70054150
>tfw same

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>>70054194
post jawlines

>>70054193
this is one of my greatest fears

>>70054150
do you work out lad? I'm scared of getting it

>>70054150
Got worse gyno than this, feelsbad

>>70054064
Imagine if a trident missiles """""accidentally""""" got fired at Birmingham, Luton and Tower Hamlets

>>70054160
Average UK house is semi-detached and look about the same size as those ones on the bottom

>>70054017
the fuck, he was doing that for months. what a weirdo.

How many ties do you own lads?

15 here (+ 4 bow ties)

>>70054150
have you considered getting surgery?

>>70053704
Thanks mate

Even the "shitty" "hive" yank suburbs manage to look good

I simply don't know how they do it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7UnvUWSges

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THE BLOODY FOOTBALLING TORY BANKERS

>tfw have a talent for painting but live in a boring grey town with no inspiration
There are some nice hills and a reservoir where I live but I can't into landscape paining. I'm more of a figurative painter.

>>70054244
yeah, I've been working out for about a year now. Fortunately it doesn't look as bad when standing up, but sitting down it looks shit

>>70054245
post

>>70054263
5. one for each day of the week

reckon the delivery drivers that deliver to my house are pissed off at me desu

order stuff during the week and they re-try to deliver it everyday until i'm actually in, which is saturday

got left a note once where the guy wrote "4TH ATTEMPT" in huge capitals with loads of stars around it

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>>70054233

>>70054246
that would be a shame

>>70054244
>do you work out lad? I'm scared of getting it
is this guy serious

>>70054263
one

i wear casual clothes to work

>>70054302
Cut out the chicken then. Causes gyno bad

>>70054311
There's seven days of a week lad.

>>70054246
erm, no mate. The average floorspace of a US house is 3x that of the UK

http://www.elledecor.com/life-culture/fun-at-home/news/a7654/house-sizes-around-the-world/

>>70054298
did you ever try to reach an art school?
or maybe you should paint something not influenced by what you see?

>>70054348
absolute bollocks

fight me

>>70054348
kek

>>70054345
What do you wear to church?

>>70054332
He might

>>70054348
how come? how else am I meant to get my protein, inb4 red meat

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post spotify daily mixes lads

>>70054319
surely there must be some major dysphoria with koreans who get a lot of plastic surgery?

really like the french philosophical poster despite his mindless rap posting

>>70054411
sucking dick

>>70054411
protein's the problem lad, that's where gyno comes from

>>70054404
my fedora

>>70054421
1/4 korean female high schoolers get plastic surgery by the time they graduate

>>70054398
>>70054390
>>70054411
It's the worst meat as well for it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCLA-WmxPgI

who is your most hated /brit/ poster?

>>70054382
I'm a figurative painter so I can only paint subjects in front of me. I can't paint from imagination. And I'm a social recluse so either way I'm screwed.
Eh, at least I have a talent to waste rather than none at all

standing in line for Taco Bell

>>70054415
Oh my days bruv

>>70054411
raw eggs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfXaC8jHpIw

hmm

You reckon she will ever recover from her xanax addiction and mental problems? Will she ever go back to being the perfect thiccness? Or is it all downhill from here?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbMvFhho5sg

>>70054482
>Vegan gains


GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>70054302
Im not gonna post it but I've been to the doctors about it and it's not bad enough to get removed on the NHS but still very visible

What's going on in this thread? Is it safe to post here?

>>70054520
really miss non-fat jellybean dancing in her underwear desu

my phone is so shit that if I ever get mugged I will gladly hand my phone over to encourage me to get a new contract

>>70054493
you can always find beauty in stuff that looks dull. that might sound stupid but try to paint something that looks mundane to you, only try to conform less to what you see, be more flexible

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>I don't care if I fuck up
>I'm going on a date
>with a rich white lady
>ain't life great?
>give me one good reason not to do it

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/hordes-of-hungry-hackney-vegans-queue-in-rain-for-worlds-first-vegan-fried-chicken-store-temple-of-a3441046.html

>vegan fried chicken
how the fuck can chicken be vegan when chicken is literally an animal

also fucking hell london is full of pretentious hipster twats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fz047f3ZGMw

YES

A NEW KAY

>>70054522
his sources are good mate. People get butthurt about him a lot, but he spits trus

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>>70054482
>Vegan gains

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>>70054482
>taking chest advice from this man

>>70054314
what shitty delivery drivers do you have?

Royal Mail just take it to the post office and I'll go and pick it up later on, Amazon manage to find someone else who is in, and if I'm having something shipped by UPS or DHL I'll have it sent to my parents house because it's only like £10 for a return ticket on the train and I spend the weekend there

>>70054557
>nah senpai, hand over the real phone
>b-but this is my real pho-UGH!
>BLEEDS TO DEATH

>>70054482
The funniest thing about vegan gains is he uses steroids that aren't vegan

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btfo

>>70054482
>vegan gains
HOWLING
mate you're fucking retarded

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HMM
ah yes

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>>70054557

>>70054553
WE NEED TO GO BACK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fg1TsNpkWgk

>>70054595
he's so committed to veganism he's turned his body into a walking advertisement against battery farmed chicken

>>70054608
amazon, dpd, royal mail mostly

most things won't fit through my letterbox so they have to leave cards

17th january 2017 timothy byrne twitter check that guitar garden selfie check facebok that video i took my guitar garden selfie we're in high wycombe buckinghamshire garden's looking like this today looking like that out there new plant bears are watching that looking out that way got a new piano lamp it's quite nice lights the piano up well

My dick feels non-existent

>>70054641
jesus don't just all sit on one side

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>>70054595

>>70054641
the best

>>70054608
>Royal Mail just take it to the post office and I'll go and pick it up later on, Amazon manage to find someone else who is in, and if I'm having something shipped by UPS or DHL I'll have it sent to my parents house because it's only like £10 for a return ticket on the train and I spend the weekend there

incredible mate, you should write an autobiography

>>70054696
is he ok?

>>70054641
WAHEY

>>70054627
>>70054619
>>70054595
>>70054593
ok enjoy your bitch tits if your don't like well sourced and referenced videos with facts

>>70054314
reckon the next door neighbour is piddled at me
always gets delivered my stuff when I'm not in

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>>70054642
Evening gentlemen, step aside and you shall leave with your dignity and life
*unsheathes katana*

>>70054714
already about half way through it

>>70054734
would get my stuff delivered to work but i get the bus and can't be arsed carrying things to the bus stop

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oy m888 you got a fone me m8 wants to check the time

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http://imgur.com/a/J29BY
ah yes

>>70054557
almost got mugged on the way home from cinema yesterday
was walking behind 2 black males and they stopped walking

>>70054731
he's been called out numerous times for using fake sources and chatting absolute shit you pretentious fuck.

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>you will never jump in your spaceship and warp into another system, seeking out new civilisations and great wonders

>tfw too red pilled to have a girlfriend

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UNLIMITED
BREXIT

>>70054807
How scawy...

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just made this

HOWLING
Fucking Eggman has a gf
You autists have no excuses
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM8_XrdFCR8

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Really makes you think.

>>70054821
i was with a m8 who's a big guy so it was ok

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6l2py68WY4

Rofl

>>70054837
>wow LE random swearing le FUCK xDDDD

gas americans

>>70054843
is it a man with makeup

>>70054837
always cringe at this excessive swearing shite

>>70054870
I hate it too but you sound like a faggot desu

>>70054820
saw the independent call it the hardest brexit imaginable earlier

what the fuck does that even mean

>>70054863
Did you give him a handy for saving your life?

>>70054862
hahahah

i just finished mass effect 3, been proper binging all of them for these past couple months. first time i've played them

was fucking addicted to them. most i've ever enjoyed a game

and now the endings have got me proper fucked off, completely ruined it for me

>>70054901
nah bit gay that

>>70054482
I think you've triggered a few /fit/izen cringetards lmfao

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old suburb i lived in was a bit shit.

wtf I asked for no tomato

Can someone please link the one where she's wearing a white tank top and blue shorts dancing in a room with lots of yoga balls in the background? I can't find it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fb3cu7F0LkM

I only eat sausage

>>70054862
ahhh yes

Guy Taking Selfie with Woman Stuck Under Train
Failed suicide attempt.

wait so chicken really makes men grow tits? fuuuuck

>>70054976
don't recall asking if I'm honest

>>70054900
The alt-right is roaming around in hordes on the street smashing the skulls of anyone who looks slavic or muslamic

>>70055023
yeah just go vegan mate, you'll feel and look great

>>70054976
>no kerb
>no pavement
literally africa-tier

i only eat chicken and fish
might cut on the chicken

>>70055034
dont recall asking YOU for your opinion if i'm honest

>>70054866
alri Deano

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this man encompasses my preference of brexit

>>70055023
just eat meats lower in phthalates

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Quite literally me

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>>70055046
ah yes

>>70055090
just eat less Chicken
everything is bad for you if you eat too much of it, even salad

>>70055023
>>70055139
>tfw eat chicken literally every day

>>70055063
no one walks anywhere in America lad

>>70055139
>>70055162
well I don't even eat that much chicken anyway, maybe like 2 or 3 times a week

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>>70055184
Is this a mobility scooter joke or just that they all drive everywhere?

>>70055193
then it's fine if you work out even the slightest bit

>>70055184
didn't think they'd take their mobility scooters on the road though desu

>be american
>walk across the road at a time government computer systems didn't approve of
>get shot

ah yes, land of the free

>>70055214
Porque no los dos?

>>70050604
no it isn't

>>70055184
I live in a city with no car. I walk everywhere I go.

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Does /brit/ like KKB?

>>70055234
Don't speak american, sorry mate.

>>70055216
well I do practice badminton and tennis... but to call that working out...