/brit/

big cocks

Fuck off
Fuck OFF

always feel deep shame and regret after I wank

hmmm

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>I went there a virgin an
d by the end of it I was sloping off with the little essex tarts that worked on there for a quicky in our bunks

watching the new harry's garage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCWXqn8rYk8

>>69604974
feel euphoric and at peace

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BLOBBY !!!!!

>>69604975
yeah you tried eh

>>69604985
FOY

>>69604975
bollocksed that right up didn't you

cara
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PeJsCrwFpQ

would they think it was weird if you made a booking with a female gp to check out your willy?

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>>69604948
>Sweets
They're lollies mate

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imagine acting like a billy big bollocks because you're going on holiday to dubai for a week

Tried a couple of Katsu Chicken Bakes from Greggs.

Don't think I'll be having them again.

3/10

>>69605035
Deano

just discovered uber eats lads
wew

>>69604980
If you asked for a female GP explicitly I imagine they'll raise an eyebrow but by and large no one cares mate, they see so many people every single day. It's the same with people thinking cashiers are going to laugh in their face for buying condoms, 99% couldn't give two fucks for more than a second as they scan it

how do you get the nurse to wank you off while you're lying in hospital?

>>69605085
just flop your willy out when she comes it, just like the porn videos!

> Have to go back to uni tomorrow and spend another term living with fucking apeshit hooting giganormies

can already feel myself getting a headache

god I fucking hate normies

Dubai is one of the worst cities in the world imo

>>69605062
That sort of thing has been around for decades lad, it's really an obvious business idea 2bh

would smang 2 of the doctors at my local GP
shame my willy is in tip top shape

>>69605084
>It's the same with people thinking cashiers are going to laugh in their face for buying condoms
err no one does.... part from you

>>69605035
Scroungers not one bit happy

>>69605035
went a couple of years ago. it's shit unless you're rich af, i've never felt so poor. pints cost £8-12 depending on where you drink. woke up with a £200 bar bill one day. would not go back.

>>69605119
If you can't beat them join them lad

Do Strayans have sausage rolls?
Proper ones from the bakery.

>>69605119
>university
you are a normie

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could heem any cunt in here rn

>>69605123
yeah but it's much better than menulog
chippies going to be here in 2 minutes

>>69605162
yes

>>69605167
*tackles you*

>getting £30,000 in debt to get a piece of paper saying you can do thing

>>69605126
what is smang bruce?

>>69605035
It's like a ME Benidorm.

Really cannot see the appeal desu.

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>>69605167
Won't bloody think so sunshine

>>69605183
mummy and daddy paying for my uni

>>69605183
english tax payers paid for my uni

think the rents believe i'm going back to uni this semester
am not looking forward to their realisation

>>69605192
put the old todger in then take it out then repeat

>>69605158
I'm too intelligent to be a normie

>>69605226
ayy did you drop out?

>>69605183
zell miller paid for my uni

>>69605244
wouldn't people like you go to your class then?

>>69605248
what do you think?

I need to employ someone for my business. Shall I employ the man that has 3 years of experience doing work or shall I employ the man that spent 3 years and £30,000 writing essays?

>>69605248
i think i'm currently 'deferring'
i could sign up for classes if i wanted but i don't want to go back

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>sweets

>>69605181
You invented them ffs.
gj not rising to the bait if you knew it.

>>69605304
me

>>69605304
Depends lad

>>69605304
man who actually learned the material and knows how to do it as opposed to some no education blue collar wanker

chili hot chips have arrived lads

>>69605304
watch all the arrogant little students come crawling to this post, screeching their heads off

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Sweets

Q. Will you gag/puke on my dick?

A. I am more than happy to but my gag reflex is pretty tame so I find it very difficult to actually puke, we can most definitely try though and make plenty of drool and mess in the process ;)

>>69605341
we invented everything if you listen to australians

which film should i watch -

the accountant
hail caesar
everybody wants some
13 hours
Mustang
certain women
13th

>>69605360
do you ever have chili cold chips lad?

>>69605302
see
>>69605332
Is there enough work there? Might as well sign up for welfare

>>69605378
fascinating...

>>69605389
>cold chips
?

>>69605388
all of them seem shite

>>69605304
absolute bollocks people with good degrees from good unis usually go straight on graduate programs you moron. i finished uni in 2012 and got straight on a graduate scheme with an energy company earning 27k

>>69605378
need a gf like this

>>69605416
you said hot chips lad. it stands to reason that you also have cold chips, yes?

>>69605420
yeah but i saw all the good ones and it's taking ages for new ones to uploaded

What beer is the most popular in UK? Guinness?

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>so what do you do for fun anon?

Q: What can you offer this business?

A: w-well sir I spent 3 years writing essays and...

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On the brewskis lads

>>69605183
nicola sturgeon paying for my uni

ohayo gozaimasu /brit/!

>>69605435
not following

>>69605393
ive been rejected from a lot of runtail jobs. money isn't an issue really so don't bother to apply for neetbux

>>69605388
get something from the criterion collection

>>69605393
sorry lad

> tried to facefuck the gf like they do on the porns
> dick is slightly too small to fully ram it into her throat so she wasn't properly gagging on it
> she didn't like it very much anyway

ah well, suicide time

Why do Americans only drink lite beers

>>69605304
the one with the uni degree is out of your league lad. you can't afford him. he's starting on more money than you can ever afford to pay him. lower your standards. your business is dying.

>>69605451
I pluck eyebrows, are you interested?

>>69605451
creepy how much she looks like a girl who was in the year below

>>69605455
and drinking

>>69605478
Give back gibraltar and we're even
>>69605475
Could you get some if you wanted though?

I went to uni and started earning 72k right after graduating

>>69605472
what temperature are chips that aren't hot?

>>69605388
Watches the accountant last night it's alright

Everybody wants some is alright too, typical linklater if you like him you'll like it

>>69605487
we can't handle anything more than 3% without getting fucked up after a few sips, you brits are hardcore man, drinking 5%+

>manure already winning
ah yes, just when i thought i had something to distract me

>>69605532
they're just chips mate

>>69605384
Strayans are feral Brits.
We did invent everything.

>>69605476
>paying for media

i will eventually but for now I'll take the opportunity to save. thanks.

>>69605527
But you still come on 4chan
Ah yes

>>69605526
i think so

Absolutely BELLOWING at how sensitive uni graduates are about the worthiness of their degree

i'm a big boy

i say sorry when i'm in the wrong.

>>69605557
>call crisps chips
>call chips chips
is everything chips in bruce?

slavery is legal in america

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*walks towards you*

>>69605451
"I mock ugly bitches like you on an anonymous Tajikistani Morris dancing board"

>>69605610
Unless you're a literal spacker you can infer which is meant by context

>>69605610
mate
there's chips and there's hot chips

>>69605560
you can download CC

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>>69605596
jelly tb.h

Be quiet

>>69605658
Chop off your leg and claim disability welfare lad

Did my hair in a 'style' today and heard someone say "greasy something or other". Might have not even been to me but day is ruined

>>69605457
Budweiser is tasty

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the state of christian benteke's career

>sign for villa from literally who FC
>leave villa for liverpoo
>score 10 goals
>leave for an even bigger relegation battle at a smaller club

ROARING

>it's now considered rape if a girl consents to sex but you gave he a fake name or lie about your job etc, because she did not consent to having sex with you, but your persona

wow

>>69605688
he's already spanish

licked the girlfriend's face like a dog today when we woke up and she got proper hissy

*punches you with my degree*

>>69605688
I actually have a chronic desease, but not really an impediment for work though

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might have a baked chip for lunch

>>69605745
What is it then

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not sure how benteke ended up at a smaller club in an even bigger relegation battle and we ended up in the championship

just pondering

what are you supposed to do when the only thing that can make you happy is a time machine

>>69605733
shall not be fucking anyone without written consent desu

>>69605748
>lunch

Fuck off Southern poof

*gets my house in order*

>>69605740
why did you do that

Arrogant student tried to get a job from me. I picked up his degree, folded into a paper plane then threw it out the window lmao

>>69605709
genuinely one of the worst strikers to ever play in the PL

>>69605481
This why being a poof is great
My small dick only further cements my role as a sub

>>69605765
please don't take lansbury

>>69605775
yes! this is a victory for feminism

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>>69605759
diabetes type 1 (basically appears randomly) ;_;

>>69605119
charlie no chums

just got hit on the head by a paper aeroplane wtf

>>69605776
dinner is in the evening you disgusting poorthern cavemong

Tried a Papa John's last night - The Works, with Cheesy jalapeno bites and Honey & Mustard dips.

Fucking disgusting. The lot.

Hope they go bankrupt

>>69605733
I thought this was a law because someone once pretended to be a police man and blackmailed a girl to sleep with him

>>69605819
for autism you mean

seen her boobies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARA6z3QGdjM

>>69605844
Enjoy your explosive shits.

>>69605844
says on the box you can get your money back if you're not completely satisfied lad

>>69605839
I said FUCK OFF!!!

>>69605810
what does being a poof have anything to do with that

>>69605823
hey i have that
blame it for ruining my teens

just finished my chips of the hot variety and am currently watching kath and kim
considering capping the night off with a second poo and a benzo

what is the point of bail?

why would you pay thousands to get your man out for a few weeks before their trial?

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>>69605844

>>69605874
post them

>>69605889
>destiny
It is an issue with alcohol, how do you get around it?

>>69605891
noice lad.

>>69605904
outrageous. he should be taxed 500% for having a successful business. fuck rich people

playing plants vs zombies again

>>69605899

you only pay it if the person skips court, the money is a guarantee

>>69605502
incredible post

>>69605899
The bail is returned to the defendant after the trial.

>>69605881
Says you can get another free.

I don't want another ;_;

>>69605899
You don't even ave to pay the bail money up front, only if they don't attend court. And even then not really, no one has paid the bail surety they promised to get Assange out and he fucked off to Ecuador

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>>69605788

awful post, kept villa up, got them to a cup final and tore apart pretty much every big team in the league at one point or another

>>69605813

basically confirmed la x

hello can i have some cold chips and some hot chips please

>>69605904
Nuke it.

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>>69605947
do you own toppings la

*looks at european economies completely shitting the bed*

*does a little dance with me cock and bollocks on display*

>>69605884
Being a submissive gay means you don't have to stress about your dick size

>>69605844
PJs is shite

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>>69605922
by never drinking in my life
mum also always needed me to be ultra specific with times and where i was going and all that jazz. made leaving the house too much of a hassle for me to want to deal with

>frozen pizza and pizza bases
Peak runt

>>69605960
>awful post, kept villa up, got them to a cup final and tore apart pretty much every big team in the league at one point or another
he's an absolute fucking donkey lad.
>through on goal
>just the keeper to beat
>trip on ball
>fall over
disaster of a player. stealing a living.

what happened to poleyboo

>>69605844
Remember having one before and the dip was almost 10 garlic cloves mixed with thick butter

>>69605931
>>69605945
>>69605951
I see, thanks

had my first ever mcdonalds last night lads

>>69606015

liverpoo fan?

playing benteke like a nimble attacking midfielder instead of building a team around a big man striker is never going to really work is it

he was unreal for villa

>>69605995
where

>>69606015
wow very persuasive argument >.>

it is absolutely astonishing how pure and beautiful the female mind is before it is corrupted and tainted by their sexual thoughts and perversions

>>69605904
whos house is this?

>>69605709
>even bigger relegation battle

Not even close

just turned 18 today, doing my first post!

>>69605997
The worst thing was the dips. No flavour to them at all. Just yellow goop that looked like puss.

are you gay?

>>69606095
yeah mate they're rotten

garlic butter or something

>>69606008
I've got it just recently
technology has gotten bretty gud, idc about times and have a sensor in my arm that reads sugar level tendencies. Doc says im perfect and that possibly I still have some insulin in me many months after. Still sucks badly

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>>69606082

they're 1 point above 3 of the lowest point relegation candidates in PL history and just lost at home to one of them?

>>69606088
>being under the age of 24 and posting on 4chan

where has your life gone wrong? why aren't you out enjoying your youth with friends?

>>69606088
traced your IP and saw that you made 3 posts prior to this post

>>69605951
Assange is in the Ecuadorian embassy in London, he's not in Ecuador

Literally put one line on my Tinder profile saying it's great when girls message first and the stupid bints are actually DOING IT

>>69606063
benteke has wingers crossing to him all the time at palace and he's still shit.

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just popping down singhsbury's, anyone want owt?

ulul8ing @ u

Don't think we should be using valuable man hours and money to keep diabetes sufferers alive, just got to go back to basics with survival of the fittest. Maybe it'll mean there are fewer lazy people and so fewer people get it

TRAMAPOLINE
TRABAMPOLINE

>>69606169
cornetto

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History.

They all count. Off the head, foot, even the knee in this case.

Wayne Rooney now sits alongside Sir Bobby Charlton as Manchester United's greatest ever scorer.

Goal 249 comes as Juan Mata's deft clipped cross finds its way to Rooney who dangles his right leg at it to nudge the ball home off his right knee.

A little ragged, but history will not remember how it went in. All that matters is that for the 249th time, it did.

Some achievement.

gimmick pitch: start referring to the jans as "bossman".

>>69606147
Same difference, can't be brought to court and nobody had to pay thei bail surety

>>69606228
That's giving him too much power

>>69606197
please take my life away

>>69606128
i got it just before i turned 14 and im almost 23 now
they say you have a honeymoon period where you still make some insulin and that lasted about a year for me. the dosages rocketed up after that
i've never wanted a pump but have been considering that thing that constantly reads your levels

>>69606169
20 Lambert and a twix.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9x4LcekedvY

whack 20 on the shitposting key please bossman

How long has Assange been stuck in that fucking embassy for now? Lmao the state of that twat's "existence"

gf says she's suicidally depressed again

>>69606169
ten grams amber leaf ta mate

has aisha made a new twitter yet

>>69606283
You're not fucking her enough

>>69606285
10 (ten) grams? of amber leaf???

>>69606235
Well if he ever left the embassy he'd be arrested on the spot

>>69606283
Mine keeps telling me she thinks about suicide and it seems amazing but that she'd never actually do it. She's such a good un, haha

>>69606218
fuck off wayne

thinking of posting a picture of my willy in brit later to see what you lads think of it

>>69606256
I think honeymoon was one week for me, didn't use insulin at all those days
I came to the hospital borderline skellington so maybe I used up most of mine
Its too early for me to have a pump, also I heard its really expensive

>>69606290
she fucked up in front of her normie m8s and is pretty much one of us now. probably posting rn

>>69606261
excellent gimmick manipulation lad

>>69606306
that's correct my good man

I should like 10 (ten) g (grams) of amber leaf pouched loose tobacco

>>69606312
she's just saying that so you won't have her committed or try and take away possibilities for her doing it

>>69606277
Say it with me virgin neckbeard: President Donald Trump!

>>69606332
how did she fuck up

>>69606326
now

>>69606301
probably, doesn't help that I'm a selfish cunt in that regard though

>>69606312
haha right

alri bossman, 10 quid Lyca mobile topup, 10 quid on the leccy key and 10 grams amber leaf, ta

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>>69606218
Get fucked Abdul

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>Say it with me virgin neckbeard: President Donald Trump!

>>69606343
She's already flushed all her painkillers away in case she has a particularly bad episode and scoffs the lot

Think she needs a good slapping desu

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just popping down safeburys, anyone want ewt?

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the gf

need a gf with a slight lisp

>>69606388

racist prick

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here is a photo of two african american gentlemen

any questions?

>>69606379
odd place to stop

imagine being such a fat runt you have diabetes

what's a good full body tinder photo I can take by myself?

>>69606416
the sweat off your poorthern brow

>>69606452
One where you're doing a dab XDddd

>>69606429
What you gonna do? Cry

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>>69606444
I DIDN'T CHOOSE THIS
I'M FIT

>>69606416
solero, 14 litres of Amber Leaf, 2 flumps, some transformasnacks and a will to live ta

Late for a meeting, stuck in a queue cos some old couple up front are confused by technology FFS.

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>>69606452
try like this

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>>69606452
something like this?

>>69606416
5kgs of space invaders la

the bossman/paki shop/amber leaf/leccy key gimmick cluster is one of the best things to come out of /brit/ in the last 6 months

>>69606430
The black man on the left is somehow much lighter than the white hispanic who shot up the airport.

Errrmm janitor, cleanup in aisle 3, cleanup in aisle 3

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>>69606430
THIS is an African American
Don't believe the lies goy

>>69606503
bit gay

>>69606429
Paki apologist cunt

>>69606330
fair enough
the only advice i can give you on alcohol is that it lowers your sugar level and a course i attended (DAFNE) suggested significantly lowering any overnight long-acting dosages.

>>69606430
WE

>>69605448
Bud light and Cobra

if you're so good-looking
why do you sleep alone tonight ?

business idea: company conceptions

>>69606430
>two leaders of the BLM movement turn out to be white

bahahaha niggers literally can't do anything right.

>>69606307
Unless he goes by helicopter

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For all the runts out there

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>>69606540
here's something I don't get right

I can believe him getting a pigment change yeah but how the fuck did his kids turn out pretty white too, and looking like him?

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>>69606548

>>69606548
He's an actual paki.

It's the same cunt that spends literally every waking hour on /brit/ getting mad at people who don't like pakis or multiculturalism

>>69606550
Drinking rum and coke (high in sugar) wouln't help in that case then?

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>>69606109
Submissive Scottish boy with a dominant English bf <3

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off to my tinder date

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>>69605455
>working for a business

Absolutely Screeching lad!

>>69606379
me on patrol after a mass escape from my runt farm

>>69606599
Yeah somehow I don't see an airlift in the middle of London happening

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>>69606548

>>69606609
has fucked a white chick or used a white surrogate

>>69606609

they look nothing like him

MJ was gay and never conceived any kids

>>69606619
that is gay

Janny isn't here.

Post blowjob pics

>>69606619
You like tossing big english logs in your little kilt?

>>69606619
Gf snuggles up to me like this all the time but this picture ruined it for me I think

Extremely gay

>>69606604
What is she doing these days?
This is by internet standards ancient.

>>69606662
are you 12?

Haha, so easy to get the rorkes huffing and puffing

>>69606615
i think the affects of the alcohol generally outweighs any sugar in the drinks although i can't remember
best to first experiment with anything at home where someone can help you

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off to meet some bint from the 'der

thevenins theorem

>>69606677
No idea but your RARE

>>69606675
Why? Do you imagine she's a lad with a bulging penis?

15mg amphetamine sulphate straight up the shitter

>>69606662
alri

*posts your mum*

>>69606693
Why, are you a nonce?

>>69606716
looking tight m8 x

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>>69606693
>merseyside
>calling someone else 12

>>69606716
>1740x3177
how did you even get this on your computer
did you smuggle it in on a USB stick

>>69606716
Your arms look very Italian. You Wop dago guinea scum.

>>69606717
t. 1st EE student

>>69606716
lookin steezy senpai

>>69604948
>not sour patch kids

I'll fight you runt

Eat my shitty poo

>>69606785
my cock looks like that

>>69606785
Made me think

>>69606716
Clean your shoes.

>>69606777
im doing mech eng but we still have to learn shit tier SHIT electronics SHIT

>>69606737
I don't have to answer this question

>>69606753
I don't have to reply to this post

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>>69606671
Y-yeah <3

>>69606675
>>69606660
Fun fact. I used to be a /pol/ack homophobe.

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What is she doing now?

>>69606824
Do we have any nudes of her yet?

>>69606824
me

>>69606824
Probably heroin

>>69606824
fitty tbf

>>69606710
there is the problem lad, but the sensor can come in handy in that case. Greasy carbs can put an end to that in the worst case

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>>69606658
their parents are white

>>69606804
pics

>>69606821
Where did it go wrong?

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Teach me some British slang, please

Fucking STATE of BDO darts

>>69606619
pictures like this make me wish I were gay

>>69606811
If he bought the correct inside leg with the trousers we might not have noticed the filthy footwear.

>>69606894
hot chips

>>69606900
She appears to be enjoying that a LOT more than him

>>69606716
are those muji shoes
ive gt the same ones

ps fuck off you patrik everell pants having wanker fashions lame

>>69606900
>scat

No thanks

>>69606873
see
>>69606785

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>>69606876
When I fell in love and couldent deny my feelings.
He's a /pol/ack too

>>69606824
I have eyes like that

>>69606894
Nang
Uck
Bossman

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reaction face

gf only gets really horny when she's on her period

rest of the time it takes about 40 mins of warm up before she gives in and lets me take off her pants

she never gives blowjobs either

just kill me lads

>>69606868
>britbongs
that's how cool people talk over there?

Rosy has begun watermarking her findom photos, think she realised they're being posted here
>tfw Rosy could be reading this post right now

>>69606967
get a life you ganja gremlin

>>69606955
break up with her

>>69606985
>>69606985
New

>>69606955
Gf has more of a sex drive than I do and it makes me feel pretty pathetic

Think I need a testosterone injection

>>69606986
in a year or two we'll find out shes an escort haha

>>69606955
fuck her in the shower on her period

>>69605926
How is worshipping rich people turning out for the American working class these days?

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>>69606907
You might already be. Just repressing it.

>tfw I started out as a "traps aren't gay" "I want to fuck a qt trap"
>evolved to "I want a man to hold me and keep me safe and fuck me silly"

>>69606955
>she never gives blowjobs either

dump her

Sent a willy picture to 15 girls on snapchat at 5am out the blue

hate myself

>>69607136
the fucking state

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>>69606503

grim