/brit/

kill yourselves fucking scumbags

>9:34
>off to work
15 year old detected

Screeching https://mobile.twitter.com/pamyuprince/status/816107015525298176

reddit spacers out
yes, you two that were redditspacing all of last thread need to fuck off

Yorkshire best shire

you'll NEVER get the picture until I get a (You)

Huntingdonshire best shire

>>69426088
fuck off mobile poster

>>6942609
don't know how does it work

>my mood swings make that a bit tricky but it does explain why my relationshits always end after a couple of months
>guess I just have to force myself

if you really like her it will be worth it

>>69426082
shall be telling your local cartel about this post

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>>69426099
>>69426099

>>69426088
Seems like a cool dood, wouldn't mind punching him in the goolies

>>69426090
autism

not good enough
looks like you'll never have the image

Why is there serious relationship advice being given out, that's not on at all, very reddit

>>69426090
are you taking about paragraphs?

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She claims to be a virgin lads

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>>69426135

>>69426090
Come and get one in the yarbles, that is if you have any yarbles

>69426135
:-(
>>69426127
post toot

You ever think turbans are kinda neat?

>>69426114
I hope so

got to come up with something to text her after not saying a peep for 3 days now

>>69426155
She could be

Some girls are autistic about keeping their virginity and it tends to be fitter ones that do
They're one in a million but they're out there

>>69426155
100 betacopters flying above her

>>69426134
>>69426166
Why hello, reddit! What brings you to these parts? xD

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>>69426064

Not back to work until Thursday :)

Looking forward to it actually back out in the fresh air. Working off the Christmas booze.

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>>69426182

girls being virgins well into their 20s is more common than you think

anyone watch The Undateables last night?
and I don't mean my facebook page, you cheeky pricks haha

>>69426192
You should probably text her right now and explain to her why you've been so aloof recently

Girls are VERY good at understanding emotional problems if you're truthful with them and so long as it doesn't tread into fedora territory

/brit/ rankings
1. Kiwis
2. Brits
20. Australians
21. Paddies
999. Canadians
1000000000000000. Yank cunts

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Ah yes

>>69426248

Ha ha. No Lad. I watched The Green Room last night. Good film.

Ah no

brits > australians > micks > kiwis > yanks >>>>> a fucking leaf

>>69426229
Problem is they're either supermodels planning to sell it for £400k or they're hideous

>>69424958

>>69426279
there was a girl on there who lost control of her muscles if she laughed too hard, she'd straight up just collapse
pretty fit as well

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>>69426192
3 days ain't shit if you're not exclusive. Just be fucking normal. You don't need to explain anything unless she asks, and if she asks she's probably a clinger.

>>69426277
Does that surprise you?

day 3 of no fap (masturbation)

wanna have my leftover bhajis from new years but the food van doesn't come 'til 11 and I fancy something from there as well

>>69426304

Will have to check it out on catch up.

>>69426325
rasheed

>>69426325
That's filth

>>69426291
it's usually the ones who value themselves and see hookup culture as a degradation of that there's also the devoutly religious and the ones who still believe in the idea of finding someone they love to be with forever

>>69426341
>>69426347
>literal JFs don't love a good bhaji
sorry I thought this was /brit/

alri lads

>>69426310
>even entertaining the idea of an open relationship

literal cuckold

>>69426365
rasheed

>>69426363
>eating paki food
>calling us jf
don't think so cunt

>>69426325
those bhajis are 9 days old gross

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>>69426312
No

China built their entire high speed rail system, extending over the entire country and longer in combined length than every other high speed rail system combined, in under a decade.

And then there's us with pic related

>>69426391
fridges exist, mate

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>>69426363

>>69426397
must've forgot that refrigerators keep food fresh forever

Drumpf

Might go buy 1000 shotgun cartridges later while its quiet.

>>69426394
>2026
jesus christ

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>>69426357
>tfw you try and explain this to a girl and they start going on about how getting trashed every night and jumping on a dick is her way of valuing herself because its just doing what makes her happy ya know and you gotta live life haha

>>69426394
Britain also doesn't have an endless supply of slave labour to work on such projects the death toll on that project likely numbers in the thousands

>>69426442
#yolo xD

>>69426394
>completely bypasses all the good bits and just connects pakis to more pakis
ah yes, worth it

>>69426442
sex is enjoyable if you can do it safely and often why not?

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>>69426394

>2026

mfw i'll be 40.

Dumb pirate frogposter

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>>69426493

>>69426443
Its China not North Korea.

It's more to do with the fact that they can just demolish any houses in the way, whereas here you have posh wankers i Wiltshire lobbying the government about it going near their Quiet Village of the Year.

>>69426484
I thought I was too old for this place

>>69426484
If I still browse the chon past 25 I'll be eating a bullet

>>69426442
advertisers have been pushing the "do it for you" "whatever makes you happy" shtick for years now
most women just swallow it up without even thinking if its right

>>69426515

You'll never be to old. Secret to staying young don't grow up.

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>>69426383
>not knowing that the reddbritor is deciding whether to start a relationship or not
>jumping in anyway with the most meme insult possible

unironically kill yourself

>>69426509
Yeah go ahead and dismiss the concerns of the people who the project actually affects and who will get no benefit from it I'm sure that'll go over real well

can sense day 3 of no fap (willy tugging) will be hard

getting tingles already

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Wagey ragey

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>>69426545
does this turn u on

>>69426554
Yes

>>69426542
He's talking about the relationship he's already in its a different lad you fucking mong

Don't understand women desu
Try to do something and they say it's fine, then they struggle and you offer to do it again and they say it's fine then when it's finally over they say you should've done it

Think I was happier without a gf

chicano pedophile

>>69426394
>planning for things that far in advance
Just asking for another government to come in and fuck with it 2bh

Every girl's picture you've looked at on social media immediately receives both a 'like' equivalent and a friend request from you

whats the point in nofap
wanking keeps me sane

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i dont want an australian bf this year... i absolutely NEED an australian bf

Today's the day lads.

Assessment centre fora new job, bit nervous

post K-ON

>>69426614
nofap helps you get prostate cancer and die faster

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>>69426627

I'm prone to binge eating but I don't put on weight
My brother's the same but he does put on weight

>>69426626
goodluck wageslave

>>69426646
Scroatbag

had a dream where I was on the titanic with stormzy when it was sinking
he wanted to wash the dishes rather than escape, absolute wasteman

>>69426646
Thanks lad.

It's got group exercises and a presentation which I'm surprisingly alright at so here's hoping

Like you

>>69426669
stop watching negro media
your head is fucked lad

texted her some absolute runt bullshit

state of me 2bh, I don't deserve a gf

>>69426693
take a screenie and post it here

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>>69426626

Good luck hope it all goes well. I'd be suicidal and living with my parents if i did not have a job.

>>69426544
Wiltshire is literally exclusively full of rich retired people mate. It's like the Hamptons. They can cope with a fucking train going past a few of their villages so the rest of the country can actually work while they ponce about in the countryside.

>>69426690
its because somebody keeps posting him in these threads

Is Putin a far rightist???

what's the entry level self-employed job

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*sweats*

>>69426804
>being on a date ever
she beats me haha

>>69426804
Tell her she won't remember your date either

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>>69426799

Door - Door peg sales man.

>>69426804
"if you can't remember it maybe you were date raped haha [pillemoji][cocktailemoji][awkwardmonkeyemoji]"

>>69426725
Thanks very much la.

>>69426720
cba

I texted her that I'd started revising and that it was actually not too bad because at least I don't have exams in jan unlike her

then said "how is your revision going btw?"

>>69426827
She's talking about sex, she means she can't remember the date she last had it.

>>69426830
clinch pickup lines from the aus boy

>>69426848
fucked it

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>>69426863
I know lad

I'm such a runt, don't even know why she bothers with me

>>69426862
Pierre has the best pick up lines the silver tongued devil

the bhajis are a touch chewier and more "crumbly" but otherwise a-okay

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Just watched Boyhood.

Didn't think too highly of the film overall but it did get the neurons firing a wee touch. It reminded me the sparsity of my memories concerning my own childhood and the slightly unorthodox path I have taken in life.

Also a bit jel of the suburban middle class yank upbringing. Looks a bit comfy I must confess.

/blog

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>>69426848
>and then he said "how is your revision going btw?"

>>69426891
finished morning prayers have we, rasheed?

>>69426919
jesus fucking christ

>>69426919
thats not right to push sexuality onto children

>>69426921
ah yes, because you've never had a taco
yank bellend

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>>69426919

>>69426919
Yanks please stop

lads she texted back

she even gave me a serious reply

>>69426891
indians wipe their hand with their arse
hope you enjoy poo

>>69426919
Mmmmm mmmmm why

>>69426741
Fuck you for wanting to destroy the nicest part of your country so that pakis and students can travel faster

Called in sick on the first day back lads....fuck sakes.

Thought it was Norovirus last night but I think I'm already feeling quite a bit better.

>>69426064
NEET
>Live off parents or bennies
>Do nothing

Wageslaves
>Make money
>No time to spend money

When will people learn to find another way?

>>69427001
wish society would collapse

>>69427001
working part time i guess la

>>69426981
They're tossers mate, I used to be like you and idolise them until I actually met poshos at uni. Fuck them and fuck their countryside estates, I unironically prefer Pakis. At least they're funny.

>>69427001
the dream is to go into consultancy

>work pretty much your own hours
>huge £££
>piece of piss

Really Made me think

>>69427041
Might be what I end up doing desu

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This one asked to be my gf but I said no for some reason

Bloody hell

Contacted my work 4 times, and been in twice in person to get a reference sheet for work experience filled out which takes literally 5 minutes for them to do.

They told me it would be done for sure by Monday. It is now Tuesday, my interview is tomorrow and I've recieved nothing. Serious, fuck the NHS. Fucking incompetents.

>>69427025
This

Hunter-gatherer truly is the god tier. Perfect, natural mix of wage slave and neet.

>>69427135
ʳᵒᵃᵈˢ

>>69427103
>girl asks you out
pussy

>>69427103
spoiler that hog

>>69427195
It was after our date that I asked her out on ya munt

So if Pakistanis Aren't British even if both parents are born in Britain because a 'dog born in a stable isn't a horse', then what makes British people (aside from having both parents being born in britain) eligible to be called british?

NEED the ol' gut to go down im looking very doughy

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>>69427280

>>69427275
ethnically anglo-saxon, jamal.

>>69427103
you can do better big L

>>69427321
Big Lebowski?

>>69427275
Btfo pirates

>>69427275
Being white and at least having Christian values, if not being fully Christian, are cornerstones of being British

who else bitter virgin here

>>69427346
Just horny. Considered fuckin a bathmat

>>69427275
British used to mean from the british isles i.e. english irish scottish welsh.
now its just what nonwhites in the uk call themselves

>>69427354
you what

>>69427365
considered a fuckin bathmat

>>69427337
Lez

>>69427354
hey that's my wife!

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>>69427280
>In-N-Out
>Dollar Tree
>multi-millionaire Jew nearby

is this the way to amarillo

>>69427354
this desu
i dont want a gf, just sex

>>69427390
I don't want sex, just a gf

sex would be nice too obvs

>>69427390
Hello failed normie

>>69427390
>>69427403
why not both haha

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whom here interested in fashion

don't want a gf
don't wan't sex
just want a qt lass to kiss and cuddle

>>69427418
well yeah that would be ideal but if I had to pick haha

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>tfw a wagecuck
>tfw i will have to deal with dick coworkers and cunt customers again from tomorrow

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>>69427426
me

>>69427390
Look at this hard man everyone

WE

>>69427444
WUZ

WUZ

WUZ

WE

WUZMON

>>69427441

Ditch the no socks and white shoes look first m8.

>>69427415
i was never quite normie to begin with

>>69427442
sometimes i feel lonely but living with a woman seems more of an annoyance than its worth

WE

>>69427441
you look skinny mate

OUI

NÅÅÅRTHERN

>>69427440
>tfw currently dealing with dick coworkers
ngl if all of them carpooled home and the car was sandwiched by massive lorries i wouldn't care

>>69427452
>>69427455
>>69427470
>>69427476
>>69427480
>>69427494
Newfags

Oldfag

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Would honestly take a 5/10 weird autist girl over a 10/10 normie

Anyone else ktf?

>>69427569
ye

myb

I don't recognise normies as sentient beings

>>69427569
i think you underestimate how good looking a 10 is

I DON'T KNOOOOOOOOOOW
CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION

>>69427526
That would make my year desu m8.

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meme disease exposed

>>69427602
did somebody hurt you anon?

>>69427569
dating a good looking girl would be hellish

always thinking she's better than you, always paranoid about the day she wakes up and thinks "why am i with this ugly cunt"

>>69427603
Yeah but I don't understand whats so great about having a 10/10

Like yeah, I get to look at her. I can do that anyway without her being my gf.

can feel an intense energy in my groin area

>>69427632
t. Ted Kaczynski

>>69427632
Ah yes. I will cure a chemical imbalance in my head by looking at some rocks and some grass.

>>69427632
Ironic thing is this is true.

Returning to a primitivist society based entirely in nature would guarantee the eradication of depression.

>>69427681
Maybe a ghost is giving you a cheeky wank from the other dimension la

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WE ARE THE NORTHERN BROTHERS

>>69427569
>5/10 weird autist girl
I've got this

pretty dece, don't have to go out or meet her friends (she doesn't really have any). reckon it would be better if i was an autist as well though so I could enjoy her weird video games and cartoons as well.

>>69427702
Forgot to add

Because everyone with depression would die off.

>>69427698
ah yes, being a bit sad is definitely due to chemicals and not my poor life choices

>>69427681
means someone's walking over the grave (for your bollocks)

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>>69427710
Put the gf in the fucking bag mate

Think my female dog is in heat lads, she's going dooping mental with my male dog

dumb bitch doesn't even realise he's been fixed, literally no reaction from him

>>69427702
I agree Tbh

I back capitalism in this society but a tribal, communist system is better imo

>>69427729
maybe your poor life choices are also a result of chemicals

>>69427652
the trick is to not be an ugly cunt ;^)

>>69427779
take her to the vet lad

>>69427710
>>5/10 weird autist girl
>weird video games and cartoons
I got this. She's obsessed with Nintendo and that stupid pony cartoon, isn't she? All the misfits are obsessed with that shit for some reason.

>>69427779
haha the dizzy bitch

In my opinion, religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.

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>>69427710
>tfw met a weird autist girl at a club
>was drunk so really cocky and arrogant, talking about her loudly to my mates and generally putting her down to the point where she was on the verge of tears
>really all I wanted to do was say I'm a massive weirdo too, please come home with me and just lie next to me

Margaret Thatcher-reagan
Tony Blair-bush
Nigel farage-trump
All of those are good bromances

>>69427832
why didn't you just say that, not really hard

>>69427832
Mong

>>69427812
no, she plays all these weird indie games and WoW

the cartoons are mostly chinese I think but she also watches southpark (I don't though)

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>>69427832

>>69427833
Think Mummy May could learn a thing or two about brown nosing yanks from Farage 2bh, he seems pretty good at it

>>69427779
YOU are cruel to mutilate your dog

>>69427832
good things don't happen to insecure bullies :^)

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>>69427833
You are forgetting the all time best political bromance

>>69427849
Because I thought I had to play the cool guy to pick up girls at clubs.

Never met an abnormie girl in a club, didn't think such a thing was possible.

69427917
Putin-bush haha, Bush also had a bromance with our former president Fox

>>69427908
He's a rescue la, not my decision to neuter him

You're still a bit of a mong tho

>>69427925
well you were there so why not?

>>69427925
>to pick up girls at clubs
if you're not that bothered by quantity, you don't really have to do anything, they come to you every so often

>>69427833
>Terrible leaders stick together
Who knew? Also forgot
>Bush-Putin
>Trump-Putin

>>69427971
>Tony Blair
>Terrible leader
haha alri literal child

been gone two weeks

what I miss

>>69427971
Trump-putin will give me a boner

>>69427832
shit person confirmed

>>69427968
I know m8, picking up normie slags is piss easy. Just have to dumb yourself down with drink until you're on their level.

>>69427964
I'm an abnormie guy, there's plenty of us at clubs.

>>69427984
https://youtu.be/KbQFq4oKwbM

>>69427960
nah

good for you for taking a rescue dog doe!! :)

the number of li(t/b)eral children ITT

>>69428062
is this a new gimmick

>>69428062
How do well dressed good looking twats like this mob make such tits of themselves

>>69428090
shut UP you lesbian twat

>>69428062
jesus fucking christ I can never get past the first few seconds

trying so hard to be inspiring but he just sounds like a cringey mong

have you ever just woken up one morning, looked in the mirror and realised just how fucking ugly you are

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I'm the biggest baddest motherfucker on /brit/ and I will destroy any of you in single combat

>>69428134
I get that whenever there's a black screen in porn/YouTube video and I see myself in my laptop reflection
Makes me want to top myself right there haha

lad in the food van always says "Topman" when I pay him
is it a new normie thing to just announce where your clothes are from now? fucking consumerist normies

>>69428062
Reminder that this is all Hitler really was but the old timey film makes him look and sound like less of an autist

>>69428158
>food van

sounds runty

>>69428134
depends, by myself I usually don't notice because I'm so busy hating myself

when I wake up at a girls place I usually think I look quite good because my hair goes all messy from the sex sweat

>all these southern poofs expecting the rest of the uk to care about the increase in rail travel

Hahahahahaha

>>69428142
atrocious lips

>>69428134
Tbh i always look away when there's a mirror, so i don't have to see my own face too much. my gf got a weird haircut the other day and said she didn't like looking into the mirror, so i guess it happens to everyone at some point, but it feels like it's been like that my whole life

>next has every colour of mac on sale except the one I'm after
howling

>>69428206
ayy looka dis faggo lookin at a boy's lips ahahaha you wanna kissy Nigel?

>>69428134
I'd be so much better looking if someone rearranged my face

>>69428196
news in the UK is like conversation at a dinner party

important stuff (the news) is directed towards the adults (southerners) and is not appropriate for discussion amongst the children (northerners)

>>69428209
that's depressing

never wanted to hide my face from the mirror even when I've been in an absolute state

>>69428264
all this proves is how classist you lot are

>>69428264
>trying to explain something to a northerner by using a dinner party as a simile
uhh

>>69428285
the world needs hierarchies

>>69428108
swedes are just good looking people

>>69428307
so do my shoes
*limps off uncomfortably*

>>69428285
the weak must fear the strong

just made fun of the gf for crying and being insecure and then pointed out that I'm making fun of her

thought we were just bantering but just realised that maybe this is a bit out of order?

mini roll

>>69428264
How much of your wage is spent of rail fare, Ahmed?

Hahahahahahaha

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Woah...really makes one ponder...

>>69428351
*turns the page of the FT*
mmm, I'm surprised they're not in the playoffs

>>69428307
Hierarchies, even as a purely mathematical concept, are capitalist tools of oppression.

>>69428404
good post, really think this gimmick is going places

>>69428432
t. Stephen Christopher Yaxley-Lennon

>>69428432
its been around for a while mate

>>69427526
would love if this happened to my co-workers

>>69428385
*turns you around and pushes you towards the lego set up in the lounge*

>>69428134
im the opposite
I look in the mirror and think im a good looking bloke
its only when im out trying to pull I realise how shit I must be

>>69428465
Yaxley mentioned

>>69428484
Paki obsessed with children.

What a fucking surprise.

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reminder

off sick today lads, gonna have a bath and maybe get takeaway food hehe

>redditspacing
>full stops
someone's miffed

>>69427702
No it doesn't, fuck off and eat your paleo diet

>english defence league
>tommy robinson is actually irish
really bangs the bongo's

>>69428333
good post haha

>>69428517
kek I do the same mate, though its when I see a photo of myself I just think "oh christ alive you're not blessed with the looks are you lad"

> What's the time?
> 40 past
good way to spot a runt, it's 20 to you fucking retard

>>69428555
kek

if gta 6 has a female protagonist i'll never play a rockstar game again desu

now that the christmas lark is over, how badly were you hit?

reckon I've put on a solid 5kg myself

>>69428535
*pats your head*
It was an analogy mate, I can see you're getting worked up so I'll stop now, we're all mates here come on
*turns to the others and rolls my eyes with a grin*
*they attempt to stifle their laughter behind their glasses of 88 bollinger*
*you run off to play with the Thunderbirds island set*

>>69428609
"x forty"

>>69428609
going to start doing this irl now. confuse some normie runts.

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>>69428643
>>69428650
20 PAST MY FIST

>>69428580
what is it that makes so many people overconfident with themselves. be it the job they have, their looks, upbringing etc

>>69428639
exceptional post

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the so called black gf

>>69428643
thats fine though

>>69428691
blacks disgust me

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>>69428679
desperation

>>69428580
yeah same
I havent changed my facebook picture in years because I never see pics of myself that I like

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>>69428134
Tfw look at myself in shop and car windows constantly

>>69428635
it NEEDS to be set in London

>>69428691
Vile

>>69428802
Careful, you'll set off the autists
>m-muh U.S. parody

>>69428802
nah mate vice city, no discussion

>>69428853
>>69428853
>>69428853
new

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>i don't get why people have a problem with me sleeping around, just let people do what they want, it doesn't hurt you so why do you care?

Refute the roastie then lads

>>69428639
>we're all mates here come on
Not with paki samefags

Sorry.