/cum/ - Canada, United States and Mexico

shit edition.

absolutly abhorant edition

>>69238714
dont be hypocrite

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I claim this thread.

it is mine, you are all just visitors

/deutsch/

If nobody claims this thread in 10 minutes /cum/ becomes rightful clay of /deutsch/

>>69239939
>>69239772
Deutschen ins gas

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>>69240006
RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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We mongols shall set up our Jurts here and you plebs shall pay tribute. Speed it up mongs! I wan't hourly burgers and large sodas accompanied with fine american women.

This thread will never die

>>69238575
Chinese cartoons are degenerate.

/cum/ supports local businesses by only posting Mexican/American/Canadian cartoons.

>>69240156
>"""fine""" american "women"

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>>69240311
I WILL kill it if you don't start giving me tributes.

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>>69240387
Mad?

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>>69240392

>>69240392
Okay

shit addition 2bh

>>69238575
What's up with Arkansas?

Theres a poo a brewin in these stockings

call the deckhand at the crowsnest to let bellow the signal for the anchor

>>69238575
I want to FUCK Tennessee

>>69241408
this

>>69241418
why does florida look like autism

>>69241442
lol

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pyrogi

>>69240392
what do you want?

>>69241452
Because Florida is the face of autism irl

>>69241456
YES
E
S

Cabbage rolls are g8 too.

Today is the first day of my no fap week. Excessive masturbation brought me slightly painful erections so it's time to take a break. It has happened before.

>>69241482
protip the orgasm is 10x as strong if you jerk it when your dick hurts

>>69241482
You should try anal masturbation after the week is up

>>69241458
Explains a lot

>tfw no southern blonde gf with a thick southern accent

why even live?

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>>69241482
in two days it'll be a week since ive fapped
i didn't want this i think its just depression desu

>>69241482
One time I went a month without jerking off

>>69238575
The one for Maine is so effortless.

Good edition.

>>69241482
Two wank a night is good, Jesus man, painful erections? What were you doing?

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>ywn live in seattle

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>>69241545

what's the DEAL with arkansas

i mean like come on

>>69241542
Around 4 each night for a couple weeks.
>>69241531
For what purpose?

>>69241511
That once led to 4 years for me without a fap. I tried but my heart just wasn't into it.

>>69241564
Made a bet with myself

>>69241562
idk, the Louisiana Purchase was a pretty good deal

>>69241580
What did you win?

>>69241600
a realy big cum

business idea: get a bunch of money and go back in time to buy louisiana for myself

Business idea: rek this nerd's time machine

is it me or are the people who join the military cadets autistic?

Business Idea: Don't live in Florida

business idea: build time machine and help America conquer Canada

>dropout of college after realizing wont be able to use degree
>brother already has engineering degree, almost earned license
>parents mad at me, say I should be like my brother
>brother quits job, going to move to a real rural area
>parents cant be as mad at me anymore

don't know if being an only child would mean too much, or very little pressure

>>69241682
no they're just dumb and/or losers
well most of them anyways, until they get sorted out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VKWLC87Uzw
>Colombian """culture"""

Business Idea: help californian help america conquer Canada

Business idea: start an idea business

>>69241694
>brother quits job, going to move to a real rural area
Why'd he do that?

Business idea: Initiate a hostile takeover of this nerd's business

>>69241711
Where do I sign?

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Buisness idea: Tell /cum/ goodnight

business idea: go back to 2003 and trademark all memes

https://youtu.be/QubhLiIwhb4

>>69241755
Goodnight anon

How do I become one of those male prostitutes that only gets paid to fuck really hot wealthy women

Business Idea: show mexican where to sign to help floridian help californian help america conquer Canada

Business idea: claim all of /brit/'s memes as our own

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>tfw on quest to find what I truly am

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Business idea: BTFO all Americans

BASEBALL IS FOR MEN

>>69241720
I think like me he realized he could work incredibly hard and still make twice as much as he ever earned when our parents die, or work less and enjoy life until our parents die

I'm also glad his gold digging asian gf of multiple years dumped him after he quit his job

>>69241778
there's no way that exists, why would women want prostitutes

Business idea: go back to 2002 and trademark all memes

>>69241798
>troops from quebec
as if we'd help you

i'd side with americans before ever siding with canada

business idea: gain control of millions of space heaters, and drop them all over canada, causing an early spring and driving temperatures to 80F

business idea: go back in time and give all Americans AR-15s so that they can succeed with War Plan Red

>>69241815
They get lonely sometimes too

Reddit: Arsenal
4chan: Chelsea

i miss bajachan

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>>69241798
>canadians want to occupy butte
now that's a thinker

>>69241795
>An Iroquioan says this
2 deep for me

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>>69241798
nigga you cray cray?

>>69241851
Where is (s)he?

>>69241837
I don't know I just have a hard time believing they want sexual gratification from prostitutes

/brit/: shit
/cum/: cool

>>69241877
Autismo Brown drove her off after saying that he was going to rape her

>>69241798
>reclaim maine

It was never your's.

>>69241877
lmm scared her away with his autism and charlie brown images

>>69238575
>taking an accelerated sociology course for gen ed requirements
>"professor" doesn't know where alberta is

how fucked is my future?

>>69241905
>American education

>>69241906
is he truly back

plz no

>>69241908
alberta isn't real

>Going back to school on Monday
Su reputisima madre

>>69238575
>Massachusetts looks like a closeted homo
Who makes this shit?

>>69241830
>Wants to be the new Louisiana

>>69241924

>implying he ever left and hasnt been proxyfagging this whole time

I bet you think foot"kraut" is actually german

>>69241943
at least americans never claimed to be some bilingual paradise ;^)

Am I still banned?

>>69241905
>American education

>>69241967
lol no.

business idea: allow anons to see if they're banned or not

>>69241958
Je suis Québécois.

>>69240006
Guter Dschobb, Blattfreund.

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>>69241948
yeah but i thought he was stuck as footkraut and other proxy flags since he got his whole uni rangebanned

bajas charlie brown stalker is american i think

Business idea: Buy 4chan from Hiro and ban everyone for 10 seconds

>>69238575
>Florida
>Mickey Mouse ears
>Not an insane turbo-redneck
For shame...

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>>69241899
I never said I was going to rape her I don't know where the fuck you got that idea

>>69241995
je ne t'aime

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>>69242012
>charlie brown is among us

>>69241995
donc tu sais de quoi que je parle

il faudrait vraiment être un cave pour être dans les forces canadiennes en tant que québécois

>>69241908
most of our canadian diplomats don't know what an alberta is. you're fine.

>>69242012
Why won't you kill yourself

>>69242010
I think the CubANO half of the state would take offense to that

will the absent of (you)s make 4chan better?

who /virgin/ here?

>>69241898
Good post

>>69242064
yes, literally the only people whining about it are shitposters

oh neat we were talking about alberta and my captcha had alberta

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>I missed Charlie Brown attempting to rape Baja

All the fun stuff happens when I'm gone

>>69242075
how old are you?

>>69242034
It's Canadian Texas with less fracking

>>69242089
he's shown up and asked where she is repeatedly

its all as you'd expect

>>69242075
I'm gonna be a wizard one day

>>69242089
Why aren't you browsing /cum/ 24/7

>>69242089
At least she (he) finally stopped attention whoring. The thread is better now.

>>69242034
I have a cousin who works as a teacher ask me if saskatchewan is a province

>>69242064
I think it will increase the number of trip and names, so no

>>69242089
He's been posting for the last week asking where Baja is so that he can resume RPing until she leaves for good

>>69242031
Tout le monde n'est pas nationaliste, sinon le Québec serait déjà un pays.
Réfléchis un peu

>>69242075
i'm not but i seriously wish there was someone to get rid of my desire for sex. i'd like to keep testoterone for muh manliness, but just do away with all the sex thoughts/masturbation. it would free up a lot of time and effort.

>>69242135
Because I have friends

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>>69242064
>he doesn't have (You)'s

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>>69242040
Because I shouldn't

>>69242089
I never said I was going to rape her
People just like starting stupid rumors
I have only been nice to her
I don't know why she left

>>69242136
It really isn't
There is a void here now

>>69242162
loser

>>69242162

fucking normie get OUT

>>69242137
>I have a cousin who works as a teacher ask me if saskatchewan is a province

heh heh what an idiot. of course its not, right?

>>69242159
some way not someone

>>69242166
>I don't know why she left
Because you kept RPing when she showed up

Please kill yourself

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>Baja's gone
>Chatham's gone
>Denmark's gone
What's happening?

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>>69242166

Why Mexico is so obsessed with Canada?

>>69242193
Cheer up, Toronto will always be here

>>69242193
>Chatham's gone
Chatham's just banned, he'll come back on New Year's

>>69242193
i do miss those three

and finland

and i miss turkbro too, i haven't seen him in /cum/ in a while

his love of shitty rusybelt cities is adorable

>>69241795
Loving that Pepe as Mara

>>69242148
il y a des preuves que le canada à tout fait pour pas qu'on devienne un pays, justement

j'ai même déjà entendu dire qu'ils allaient dans les maisons de retraités pour leur dires qu'ils allaient perdre leur pensions

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1.Your state
2.Do you love Quebec ?

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>honkies
LMAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOO

>>69242195
Because Canada is cute. CUTE

>>69242136
Jelly bear!
Jelly bear!

>>69242238
>Flags
>yes

>>69242238
It's pretty OK

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>>69242238
1.Arkansas
2. I think we should just be friends

>>69242238
never been but its french so i assume its garbage.

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>>69242190
>>69242194
I stopped bothering her
I only want to be given the chance to apologize

>>69242232
Regarde les sondages actuels sur l'indépendance.
Et ne me dis pas que c'est un complot du fédéral

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>>69242278
this is an incredibly high quality post

10/10

>>69242286
kys lmm

>>69242286
Please kill yourself

>>69242214
Wow.
Was quietly wondering why /cum/ wasn't nearly as shitty today and kinda comfy again.
Sincerely hope he necks himself.

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>>69242286
too clingy bud

>>69242238
Wisconsin
I guess

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>>69242242
>>69242259
>>69242264
Wtf I love Arkansas and California (except the one who is mean)
>>69242293
I am disappointed

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>already 11:10
Would someone please tell me a good bedtime story; I really need ought to get to sleep

>>69242321
<3

>>69242287
>un sondage
ça veut rien dire

premièrement, tu trouves pas ça bizarre qu'on entends jamais parler de ces sondages? la seule fois que j'en entends parler c'est pour me dire que tout le monde dirait non, je me suis jamais fait sonder pour ça à ce que je sache

et avec tout les immigrants qu'on a maintenant, c'est sûr que le vote du non a augmenter, c'est pour ça que les libéraux laisse toute la charogne entrer au pays

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>>69242295
What?

>>69242296
>>69242316
I know now
I'm sorry
Goodbye

>>69242333

>least coast time zones

>>69242333
Once there was a very ugly anon. He was so ugly that every other anon died. The end.

PS: It's a good story this time because I lived

>>69242193
That chilean poster is also gone.

>>69242352
Leave

>>69242333
there once was a faggot who asked for bed time stories on a papua new guinean visual basic programming call in am radio show. he was a douche and no one liked him. he went to bed alone and sad

the end.

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>>69242378
chile was a poster of the highest quality

St. Priapus Church (French: Église S. Priape) is a North American new religion that centres on the worship of the phallus. Founded in the 1980s in Montreal, Quebec, by D. F. Cassidy, it has a following mainly among homosexual men in Canada and the United States. Semen is also treated with reverence and its consumption is an act of worship. Semen is esteemed as sacred because of its divine life-giving power.
>Quebec

>>69242378
Chile was a good poster

>looking at teaching esl abroad
>look at ad for volunteer programs
>many require bachelor's for unpaid programs

people take out student loans to work for free

>papua new guinean visual basic programming call in am radio show

Id listen to that

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>>69242382
>papua new guinean visual basic programming call in am radio show

thats a new one bud

i like it

>>69242333
The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please go the fuck to sleep.

The windows are dark in the town, child.
The whales huddle down in the deep.
I’ll read you one very last book if you swear
You’ll go the fuck to sleep.

The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run, and creep.
I know you’re not thirsty. That’s bullshit. Stop lying.
Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep.

The wind whispers soft through the grass, hon.
The field mice, they make not a peep.
It’s been thirty-eight minutes already.
Jesus Christ, what the fuck? Go to sleep.

All the kids from day care are in dreamland.
The froggie has made his last leap.
Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom.
You know where you can go? The fuck to sleep.

The owls fly forth from the treetops.
Through the air, they soar and they sweep.
A hot crimson rage fills my heart, love.
For real, shut the fuck up and sleep.

The cubs and the lions are snoring,
Wrapped in a big snuggly heap.
How is it you can do all this other great shit
But you can’t lie the fuck down and sleep?

>>69242333
>almost 11:11
>not getting hyped to make a wish
lame

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>>69242402

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>>69242366

>>69242402
I'd be afraid of getting HIV, otherwise that sounds fun

>>69242378
Tejas was well known to be either the sweetest tejas you'll ever meet or a twisted fucking psycopath.
Probably had an episode.

>>69242415
The seeds slumber beneath the earth now
And the crops that the farmers will reap.
No more questions. This interview’s over.
I’ve got two words for you, kid: fucking sleep.

The tiger reclines in the simmering jungle.
The sparrow has silenced her cheep.
Fuck your stuffed bear, I’m not getting you shit.
Close your eyes. Cut the crap. Sleep.

The flowers doze low in the meadows
And high on the mountains so steep.
My life is a failure, I’m a shitty-ass parent.
Stop fucking with me, please, and sleep.

The giant pangolins of Madagascar are snoozing.
As I lie here and openly weep.
Sure, fine, whatever, I’ll bring you some milk.
Who the fuck cares? You’re not gonna sleep.

This room is all I can remember.
The furniture crappy and cheap.
You win. You escape. You run down the hall.
As I nod the fuck off, and sleep.

Bleary and dazed I awaken
To find your eyes shut, so I keep
My fingers crossed tight as I tiptoe away
And pray that you’re fucking asleep.

>>69242436
kek

did texas blow up on somebody

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>>69242378
>>69242404
Please don't blame that on me since everyone has the habit of blaming me for everything

>>69242409
Nah, I think it's more like
>take student loan
>leave country
>never pay it back
Seems like a good idea desu

>>69242415
>>69242445
Samuel Jackson?

>>69242445

We’re finally watching our movie.
Popcorn’s in the microwave. Beep.
Oh shit. Goddamn it. You’ve gotta be kidding.
Come on, go the fuck back to sleep.

>drinking some thc syrup
going to sleep tight in a few hours

>>69242458
Because Baja being gone is your fault

Fuck off

>>69242472
is that a real thing? cuz it would make pancakes pretty cool.

>>69242333
There once was a nuclear enrichment facility in Iran that the Jews didn't want there. So one day a Jew went to his dumb friend the American and convinced him to get rid of it. The dumb American, in an act that was almost intelligent, wrote the most sophisticated computer virus ever known. The virus would infect a specific PLC that controls the nuclear centrifuge of the Iranian enrichment plant. The virus would then lie dormant, reading data to understand what normal operations look like. When it was time to strike, the virus would output to the monitors the data it gathered to trick the Iranians into thinking everything was fine and dandy, then it would then spin the centrifuges super fast to break them. The virus was so good it wiped out a fifth of all Iranian nuclear centrifuges. Fast forward a few years and a retard at the DNC clicks a phishing link and the dumb American gets mad at the Russians for their cyberattack.

>>69242457
You never saw him go off?
oh yeah, buddy.

>>69242477
Ok
I understand now

Doo doodoo doodoodoo doo doo diddlydoo

>>69242445
Hello, reddit.

>>69242533
must have missed that

foreign flags blow through but they never stick around

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MAYO APES BTTTTTTTTFOOOOOOOOO

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Why are North American memes so shit?

Pic related, the latest craze of increasingly verbose memes.

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>tfw you've been here for nearly a decade and /tv/ call you reddit

seriously considering making a sandwich right now

>>69242583
Jokes on (her), I liked the results this time

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I got the semen smell out of my room

I'm sure it will be back by the end of the week

>>69242583
>clack my ass

>>69242492
it's a thick liquid with a bunch of thc and sugar in it

supposedly mixing it with a carbonated beverage makes you absorb more of it

only need like 5 ml, so would have to mix with normal pancakes

usually pancakes are breakfast food, this would make you take a pretty big nap around lunch

can get it mailed to your door here, that's pretty cool

>>69242614

like, just dont fap, lol

>>69242583
>any disent is the enemy

liberals are getting more and more fascist. when i was a kid it was republicans who were fascists. crazy times, buds.

>>69242583
The electoral college is a good thing tho

One time I went a whole week without jerking off

>>69242602
should have got a 4chan pass when they were first implemented

>>69242621
i'm sure it exists here. i thought you meant it was maple syrup with thc in it. i'll ask at the dispensary when i get my card.

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going to bed /cum/

goodnight

>>69242644
>>69242644
4chan passes are the least 4chan thing about 4chan. i thought they were a joke for like 2 years.

>>69242659
Goodnight Arkansas senpai

BajaChan will be back

>mayo apes
What did he mean by this?

>going to bed at 8:30

buncha DORKS around here

Dubs will decide for which American state I become ''boo''

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>>69242594

>>69242704
Arkansas

Please spend your money here

>>69242698

>giving goot your shekels

>>69242688
Says who?

>>69242704
Roll for Vermont

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Drinking a nice Belgian White. Pic related.

What are you guys drinking tonight?

>>69242704
Floriboo

>>69242704
North Carolina

>>69242718
reroll

>>69242729
Me

>I smoke 2 joints in times of peace

>and 2 in times of war

>I smoke 2 joints before i smoke 2 joints, and then i smoke 2 more

he smokes 6 joints, in times of peace and in times of ((war)).

trouble always comes in twos, two rhymes with jew.

the jewish star has 6 points

Sublime is clearly trying to say that Jews are bad.

>>69242700
>commiefornia
START THE HELICOPTERS AND GET THE ROPE

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>>69242740

Just popped a MASSIVE zit on my back buds. Thing gushed all over the place

>>69242704
hey qt

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>Halfway through my shift in the dairy fridge
>Stacking some boxes of egg cartons
>Some random customer opens the fridge door
>Kinda shocked so I ask why he's here
>"Where's all the eggnog?"
>Tell him we're out
>"Whens the next shipment?"
>Tell him we aren't getting another one for a week or two
>He calls me a dickhead and leaves

>>69242704
Puerto Rico

>>69242769
did it hurt?

>>69242704
Montana

>>69242740
Pissweiser

>>69242760
Nikola tesla was a slut for 3

Look what the jews did to him

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>>69242780
ahh
south dakotan hospitality

>>69242769
those ones always hurt

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>>69242721
Not having to fill out a captcha every post seems pretty nice

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>>69242704
South Dakota

friendly reminder to come visit us on rizon at #/cum/

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>>69242780
Dakota!

I'm sorry that happened to you

>>69242780
Heh.

Nothin' personal, kiddo.

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>/cum/ rizon

>>69242791
It stung afterwards but not while I was popping it. Didn't need any pressure to get it to ezplode

>>69242704
>>69242704
california.

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>>69242740
Not big on IPA but the bottle is good enough camoflauge for strong, cheap beer to fool the family.

>>69242740
>buying a unibrou
>not buying the 8%+ like le fin de monde or tres pistoles that cost the same amount as the 5%

only lighter strength unibrou I buy is the apple one, poem on label goes something like
>what's this
>has my vision gone amiss
>the devil in my cup
>swimming in absolute bliss
>if this brew can do this to you
>then move over rover
>i'm coming in too!

>>69242838
yeah that was a bad time
CIA and duncan are badposters

>>69242817
Is this some young Earth shit

>>69242760
he also smokes 2 joints before he smokes 2 joints and then he smokes 2 more, so he smokes 12 a day?

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>>69242807
HAH

I found out my skateboarding, vaping, 45 year old manager is from Northern California

He's pretty chill

BUT YOU'RE NOT

>>69242831
Howdy

>be south dakotan store
>get CALI'd

>>69242857
Delet yourself

I am going to have a French gf and there is nothing you can do to stop me

>>69242704
Maine

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>he has a manchild as a manager

>20, can't drink
>ask mom if I can try a shot of vodka
>she thinks I won't drink it, gives it to me
>drink it without any problems, feeling very slavic
Did I do good?

>>69242846
I only drink once or twice every few months, so the 9% is a bit much for me since my tolerance is so low.
I like that poem though, it's nice when they put little things like that in.

>>69242871
How was your day other than the rude cunt?

How do you deal with your crippling loneliness

I found a chick online that lives a city but Im socially autistic and can't talk to girls

When I'm not in class I'm either studying, at gym, or working

It's killing me inside

>>69242888
me too

>>69242894
>not drinking heavily since you were 15

>>69242867
It's always been on I-90, at least as long as I can remember

I thought it was neat

>>69242880
Hardly

If he wasn't a walking meme nobody would like him, and he probably wouldn't be a manager

>>69242890
Yes my manager is Californian

>>69242843
literally the best beer known to man. and i usually hate ipas. the pale ale is unironically better.

>>69242010
>>69242040
>le ebin florida is southern leddit meme
fuck off

>>69242911
oki doki

>>69242894
>be 15
>ask mom for advil
>crush it up and snort it
>she starts crying
>slap her
>rape her mouth

i'm the real slav, faggot.

>not drinking since you came out of the womb

buncha plebs

what is this https://www.4chan.org/polls/11

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>>69242704
Just say WA

>>69242914
Masturbation and me not wanting to go to hell if I commit suicide

>>69242922
It looks weird

>>69242958

>only 4chan pass users can vote

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I going am to french a havefriend and nothing there is girl me to stop

rizon is fucking terrible

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>>69242958
voted

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>>69242958
tfw no 4pass
rip in pepsi (you)?

>>69242984
Me too

>>69242958
wew lad. 4chan is kill

>>69242985

well no shit

>>69242985
fuck off cuck

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have u committed to the teachings of Spurdo Sparde yet???

i'm sailing away

picking your nose is the most efficient way to remove dried snot

>>69242902
funny thing about unibrou is it's at epcot at disney world, so people from all over the world know about it

>>69242914
being around people is overrated, I'm lonely until I'm not

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/POL/ GOT REKT

>>69242914
I like talking to people on xbox live or whatever. I also get kids into the habit of saying "swag" since it seems outdated by now.

>>69242916
Good luck

>walk by a heritage building
>find out it's on fire the next morning
aaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Greetings my Dixie brethren!

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>greetings my dixie bretheren!

>>69243018
unironically true

>>69243034
where did you hide the confederate gold in canada

I know it's here somewhere

>>69243023
alt-right cucks absolutely B T F O how can they even continue LIVING

and i'm not happy and i'm not sad

>>69242914
see a shrink

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>>69243034

>>69242925
The pale is pretty much the beer that started the "craft brewing" craze, but you knew that.
Proud of those guys down there.

>>69242958
Pass user here.

Don't worry bros. I voted to get our (You)'s back.

>Califaggot

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Will the South rise again?

>alt-right
More like alt-wrong

>>69243049
>rural midwest
>dixie
Were you dropped on your head?

>>69243082

they cant even rise from their motorized rascals

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>>69243055
We hid it here

DON'T tell anyone

>>69243061
Greetings!

>>69243082
If you show boibutt maybe

>>69243069
i didn't know that, actually. a friends dad drank it by the case and we used to sneak them. didn't think it was popular t bh.

if this post ends in odds I'm watching smokey and the bandit

>>69243079
I'm sorry did I do something to offend you?

>alt-right

more like shart-night

>>69243082
The South: Where The Mistakes of the Past Come Alive

why won't ~failuredude talk to me on rizon?

>>69243092

>SD
>dixie

new
>>69243105
>>69243105
>>69243105

>>69243082
>again
Top meme

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>>69243100
Is zero even or odd?

>>69243114
W-we're southern too!

Isn't it funny how the left is always right

>>69243100
is zero even or odd

I've heard it both ways

>>69243114
>has South in the name
>not Dixie
you must be memeing