/brit/

Morning benders

might do an ol' hatpost later

araca

Lower back hurts so much

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the gf

>>69090020
>he didn't alternative between alcoholic beverages and glasses of water

loool how irresponsible!

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>might do an ol' hatpost later

>>69090076
i unironically have no attraction to this whatsoever

whens the footy ffs

>>69090102
Poof

>>69090102
ur gay

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>>69090095
>480x270
>webm

>people have nothing better to do than go shopping today

Literally Why? These fucking peasants spend all year scrounging their money together and taking out loans all for Christmas day, then the next day they spend even more money.
I feel sorry for the workers. Christmas day is nothing more than a glorified day off, of which they don't even get to fully enjoy because they have to go to bed at 9pm because they have to go to work at 5am for the sales

>>69090102
Same, that shaking their arse thing isn't attractive

>>69090126
>>69090122
zoophilists

>>69090135
Because they're rasheeds

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>>69090102
How bout now?

nob goes in fanny

>>69090135
astute observation, dickhead

>>69090152
i just meant the black woman. my attraction to twerking depends on my mood

>>69090039
heyy x

>>69090135
>taking out loans for Christmas Day

People do this?

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>zoophilists

Feel sorry for the poor footballers having to work today

>>69090167
Even worse. Twerking is trashy.

been at family and relatives day after day I've stumbled into day 5 of nofap

might carry on

>>69090183
probably the short-term loans like wonga and what have you

working today

NOT happy about it

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>>69090167

>>69090197
>wank after nofap
>cum is so thick it hurts

>>69090167
she's not very good at it. it doesn't flow when and her movements are too sharp like as if a robot were doing it

>>69090215
Utter bullshit

>>69090167
Awful, why is she doing that?

>>69090215
>>69090197
had a cum today but it wasn't very satisfying. might try to not go again until 2017 see if it feels any better

>>69090209
DISCUSTIN

>>69090229
It makes the willy of non-benders erect

>>69090228
>let me tell you about your wanks

It's true m8, for me after nofap I cum buckets

>Dr. Who

Literally the single most reddit thing I can imagine.

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I love mgmt

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>>69090209
so ugly only blacks who are desperate for a blonde white gf could like her

Met a 45 year old woman yesterday and she was literally teasing me with her cleavage, I just wanted to grab them and stick my dick between them. She was literally teasing me with her boobs, crazy

>>69090242
I'm a non bender and it does nothing for me. Not an arse person mind you

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>>69090262
>The woman was so confused by the situation that she just carried on

>>69090240
>>69090263
benders

>>69090262
>was left wondering what was in this for her

Is riding the cock of a man many women fantasise about not enough?

>>69090283
erm what happened?

Who slept on a shitty blow up bed here?

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Jesus Cunting Christ I've had this fucking diamond erection for 20 minutes now and it's shown no sign of softening up.

My morning wood is genuinely insane, it just wont go down unless I chop it down like a lumberjack. It's actually fucking annoying, I don't enjoy wanking anymore, it's a fucking chore more than anything.

Sigh... /nofap2017/ is not going to be easy.

>>69090209
>this is who my daughter will idolize growing up

who /sonorabortion/ here?

>>69090248
>i lie on the internet to try and impress people i will never know

Spunk doesn't become so thick it hurts just because you don't wank for a while, you lying paki rat

>>69090283
crazy

>calling st stephens day boxing day

lokt

>>69090330
Nothing but she gave me her number

>>69090339
You did

>It's an accuse each other of being gay episode
Bit gay

>>69090352
>people will be impressed by the thickness of my cum

What are you on about m80

>>69090393
Stop lying, your mother will be fucking ashamed.

>>69090370
elaborate a bit you melt, were you at a pub? what did she say?

>>69090359
Gas the taigs race war now

Doing a nofap and then jizzing buckets on your gf's face is one of the best experiences

REalistically how much would I need saved up if I just wanted to piss about central Europe for a month or two and visit places like Hungary, Czech Republic, Austria, etc.

>>69090410
Genuinely not lying

>>69090283
crazy just crazy

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last christmas hehe

>>69090451
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH SO FUCKIGN FUNNNNY HJOW ID YOU THINK OF THATY ONE SO ORINGIAL HASHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA YOU FUCKING COMEDIAN HAHAHAHA

>>69090430
You are. No one likes a lying paki. So stop it.

>>69090451
show some fucking respect

unironically came really close ot going to a brothel last night lads haha

>>69090428
at least 3 months worth with 2L a day

>>69090374
I know ;_;

>>69090413
No, she came to my house with my friend after xmas dinner. We were having a casual chat about Christmas and she was twirling her hair and pushing her tits together, and she was wearing a revealing blouse. I got the feeling that she was newly single and looking for sex, but I have a gf and it was the only thing stopping me.

>>69090339
not me i got a new VERY nice bed a month ago

>>69090480
>but I have a gf
if she wouldn't have found out and you wouldn't have contracted anything then no harm done

>poo smells a bit like turkey

hmm

>>69090499
I'm just a loyal guy, never cheated on a girl.

wow George Michael was really called Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou his father was a Cypriot Greek

haven't even opened me presents yet

>>69090480

Really want a mommy gf badly, teach me your ways.

>>69090501
mine is more like india

>Protein hype: shoppers flushing money down the toilet, say experts

gymlets btfo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7xA8Hzuyac
>Please don't put no Coke in my cognac
Rudeboy, suck your mum, I ain't on that

What did Stormzy meant by this?

>>69090532
wow!

>>69090512
the key to a long lasting relationship is discreet refreshing experiences on the side

>>69090534
Sack of spuds and a wife beater, you short arsed IRA bogtrotting terrorist cunt?

just bought some bitcoin if you know what I mean ;^)

>>69090550
meant he was likely a black nigger

>>69090550
easily the worst lyricist of our generation

>>69090536
Just go to one of those nightclubs where it's mostly 30+ people and you'll pick one up soon enough

>>69090541
They mean the people who buy supplements and then don't put the effort in or do anything different, and expect results

>>69090550
he would prefer to drink his cognac straight

>>69090550
Please. No one cares about this talentless angry nigger.

Grime is a meme.

>>69090558
umm your post made me feel bad :(

>>69090555
no

>>69090536
>mommy

Why are you spelling it like a yank?

>>69090587
enjoy your later sexual frustration and regret

>>69090135
People who get money for Christmas will spend it at some point, might as well be during a sale

>all my m8s are aging and are getting forehead and cheeck/mouth wrinkles
>I still look young thanks to GOAT genetics + skincare regiment

Ah yes, spectacular, just as planned

i love you lads :)

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>eating christmas dinner yesterday
>decide to actually say something for once
>'this chicken's good!'
>it was actually turkey

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hmmm £180 in the sale lads

>>69090630
Yes, but you'll always be a repulsive paki manlet.

Got an epic hangover from yesterday lads

>>69090662
uh! oh!

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naughty brit

how many happy christmas messages have you received then?

currently on 0 (zero) (none)

>>69090630

Kek, same here, everyone I know who I went to school with is starting to look shit now due to all the drink and drugs they did. Ruins the face.

>>69090575

>Nightclubs
Not my scene, I find it's easier to speak with older women than girls my age or younger which I find damn near impossible if it's not something some vapid whore cunt celebrity said on social media. Older girls are where it is at since they are more learned.

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>trannies and traps with bigger dicks than me

Praise KEK the 'new year new diet' ads are all over the TV already haha

must be awful being a fat arse

>Assassin's Creed movie

christ how did they rope Fassbender into doing this vidya shite?

>>69090076
How can white girls even compete?

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>>69090722
>I find it's easier to speak with older women than girls my age or younger which I find damn near impossible if it's not something some vapid whore cunt celebrity said on social media. Older girls are where it is at since they are more learned.

>>69090344
raise her christian

that's what i'm gonna do if i ever have kids even though i'm atheist

>>69090756
Same way "they" made him do capeshit: fat paycheck.

>>69090727
trap with a 7" dick here hello hi

>>69090339
i slept on a water mattress that's been kept in my mum's hallway cupboard since like 1988

i fucking hate water mattresses

The fucking STATE of Yanks

>>69078581
>>69078581
>>69078581

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>Rockabye is song about single mothers
>video features mostly white mothers with half-black kids

been drunk for over 24 hours lads

>>69090816
they're too old for t-shirts arent they

>>69090838
christmas didnt affect your schedule then?

>>69090664
What does finna mean

>>69090850
tee hee

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>get job 1 month ago
>they try to make me work boxing day
HA!

>>69090722
U dunno mate middle aged women can be intimidating and tease you like fuck

>>69090778
>paycheck

Fuck off yank

Imagine being French and cucked out of your own spellings

>that age when it really starts to show the negative effects of tanning
paleness NEEDS to be forced as a beauty ideal

I've slept naked now for the past 5 years and I'm trying to start wearing pajamas because I have a gf, bt I just can't it's so uncomfy.

>all those moving layers rubbing up against eachother

Is there a technique or something?

>>69090937
think the government has already been trying to force it for years now, but nobody ever listens to the government

>>69090965
Bin the girlfriend that you don't have.

>>69090965
why can't you sleep naked with your gf?

>>69090965
i have the opposite problem, i always sleep in my clothes and am uncomfortable in anything else or naked

actually sleeping naked gets me horny so i have to get up and have a wank

>>69090928
Not my fault we're all americanized.

>>69090937
there's nothing healthy about a tan

Barrack Obama

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>actually sleeping naked gets me horny so i have to get up and have a wank

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>>69090969
>this is what turning away darkies on boats was all about
absolutely genius from tone

>>69090990
>being naked the first time you sleep with your gf and always after that
Seems a bit weird desu

>>69090993
>needing to wank because you sleep naked
wut
You wear fucking socks as well?

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>>69091010
sup nigger

always sleep in shorts and a t-shirt even when its boiling

I sleep in walking boots

>>69091047
mad cunt

Are all British girls this sweet and slightly autistic?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUbcdTSRf1Y

>>69091043
huh? dunno what you're talking about mate

being naked gets me randy, isn't it supposed to?

sleep in the undies desu

pretty naked but not fully naked......hmmm...

>>69091079
its because im incredibly insecure about my body even when i was skinny

>>69091084
jesus christ she's back at last

gonna cook my bro breakfast :3

>>69091130
I still can't believe she's 30.

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>>69090020

rose is a slag

doing massive shits the last few days and am having to break them up with a knife and fork so they'll flush

>>69091130
>she

m8

>>69091215
fuck off

this gimmick is probably why she left (alongside that one autist who doxxed her)

>sleeping naked

what do you do when you need to scratch your arse?

jesus christ george michael got fat as fuck

>>69091256

Put your latex glove on

business idea: start wearing long-sleeved shirts to hide my puny arms

In the airport and they're playing last christmas, rip George Michael x

Anyone else shout stupid shit or make loud noises when alone and out of hearing?

>>69091333
no

>>69091241
>this gimmick is probably why she left

He's probably the only youtube person I've seen who didn't take that shit personally or snipe back at people "haters gonna hate" style

fun fact : and you don't seem to understand

>>69091299
won't work unless they're very slim fit

What did George die of?

fun fact : 2 bombs weren't enough

>>69091366
suicide

Not really feeling pokemon moon so far. All the Hawaiian names are hard to read and pronounce and I miss the old 2D style.

I picked the fire cat as my starter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFqb1I-hiHE
fucking banger to end all bangers

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Hope you lads had a nice Christmas :)

What are you up to today??

>>69091381
>fire starter

coward

>>69091419
My back hurts, I think I slept awkwardly last night haha. Hoping it gets better while I play vidya

>>69091419
Today I will be playing pokemon moon, shitposting, setting up my coffee machine. Thought about taking some drugs but I've been on the benz the last 3 night so probably best not to.

>>69091373
depends how much you put in them hehe

>>69091444
>Pokemon Blue/Red
>pick bulbasaur
>wrecks everything you encounter up to the 3rd gym

Also I picked the cat because the other two look shit.

>>69091333
yeah

I talk to myself a lot when I'm lonely

>>69091419
Going to the football.

who /amphetaminesulphate/ here?

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absolutely shall

Lads

>>69091514
it's pretty boring desu

the end is a pretty big rip off of team america too

>>69091498
what match

>>69091555
Huddersfield - Forest

>>69091533
was joking about paying for a 4k version of that movie
would never pay for a seth rogen comedy in my life

my company randomly gave out Harrods hampers to us for free, they're worth about £250 a pop

mental

they've got stuff like coffee, biscuits and brandy butter in

£250 though bloody hell

coffee's alright

>>69091567
just making sure la haha :)

wish this 1000 degree knife twat would cut dynamite

>>69091333
no but for some reason I always make hushed explosion and automatic gunfire noises when I'm taking a dump

something about sitting on the bog just conjures up images of some battlefield and getting riddled with bullets

Should I drink more today or save some for my New Year's Evangelion marathon?

>give employees some poncey hamper in lieu of a bonus, they think they're getting a big treat lmao. Only cost us £160 a pop with the deal we arranged with Harrods hehe.

>>69091562
is mooy still being gud

>>69090869
about to

Duchess of Cambridge doesn't have the best face but has an absolute SLAMMING body

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>>69091655
eh

>>69090965
if anything it should be the opposite you fucking welly

why would you not sleep naked with your gf

>>69091664
>>69091655

She's pretty average honestly, Harry's new girlfriend is pretty hot though.

>The younger, more beautiful queen

>>69091643
Yeah. I think the only time I've ever seen him have a bad game is playing for your lot against Thailand, or one of those countries.

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>>69091655
>you now remember all those losers going mental over pippa at the wedding

>>69091685
>a black royal

Over Lizzy's dead body.....oh, right

>>69091695
they were going mental over her fat arse

>>69091615
nah I still got a 5k bonus this year but the hamper was because we did some commissioned stuff for a Harrod's event but they provided too many and just gave them to us

>>69091695

She did have a nice bum but it was pretty funny how the attention was diverted away from Kate that day and on her.

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NEED

>>69091672
Lad we have fucked before just never slept together it just seems like an odd thing to constantly do

>tfw sky listings use Arctic and Antarctic interchangeably

FFS

listening to the antarctic monkeys

>>69091706
nice lad. love a hamper desu

>>69091732
such a little gimp

it's going to bed lad stop overthinking it

>>69091702
it was fine but it shouldn't have drawn that much attention

brought me doggo inside lads :3

>>69091747
yeah it's not bad considering it was free

>>69091685
they've done pretty badly for men who could have whoever they wanted

so when do the january sales start?

are there antartic lorries

>>69091731
m-mummy

fun fact: if you go to the south pole and do a handstand you're literally lifting the whole planet

>>69091801
antartic isn't a word lad

"hi yes I'd love a slice of antarctic roll please"

just about to shit out the last two days meals

>>69091822
arctic roll cunt

>>69091821
that's what I was asking, you could have just said no

>>69091797
usually around april

>ywn be in Essex's top Oasis tribute band

why even fucking live

>>69091844
*opens a yanks gob*
go forth lad

Starting to think that my food poisoning might have just been a hangover

>>69091867
cheers la'

what is it about bullets that actually kills you? the shock?

just did a vom

>that feel when you're arguing with someone on 4chan and they stop responding so you know you won but it still doesn't feel like a victory

>>69091889
usually the fright that a nigger got so close to you

was sozzled last night and ate a bit of uncooked white pudding

probably going to die now haha

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They drink Bailey's, I drink Vossy

>>69091905
normally you're pretty funny bruce but this is just uninspired childish nonsense

take some fucking pride in your posts

>>69091917
Hopefully

>>69091894
That's cos it's not a victory, if you're still replying and he isn't you lost.

>>69091927
sorry

>>69091927
>normally you're pretty funny bruce
Why do you pakis find Aussies so funny?

>>69091927
ya mums cunt

>>69091957
because they make good posts

Raise up your right hand and say it with me

SIEG HEIL

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>That's cos it's not a victory, if you're still replying and he isn't you lost.

add george micheal to the list
fuckin ell lads

>>69091975
bit rude

>>69091945
i'll have you know there have been plenty of times where i stopped replying because i knew i'd been backed into a corner or proven wrong

unsheathes katana wellllllllll m?goodsir, I think u thought u had me beat, but wacht this !!!! charges up energy goes super sainant farts raises paw hhmmmmmmmmm.......

>>69091983
should work for BBC news mate, only 12 hours late

george michael is a bigger loss to music than david 'emperor's new clothes' bowie. prove me wrong.

>>69091990
thats not what you do in that situation. you're supposed to switch the goal posts

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>>69091975
I go hard for my team, I go hard for my squadron

>>69091967
You pakis need to up your standards.

OR FUCK OFF BACK TO KARACHI!!!

REEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

>surrounded by presents and money
>still feel empty inside

reeeeeeeeeeeeee

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>because [Aussies] make good posts

>>69092013
just got up

nan got me a harmonica for chrimbo and wants me to play her a song before she leaves today -.-

was burning wrapping papet in the incinerator and managed to singe off all the hair on my arms

however, i also singed off my entire fringe so now i look proper mental

>>69092032
ah yes, your posts however are much better

>>69092055
pics pls

>>69092030
Fuck off you utter embarrassment

>>69092055
>papet
FOF (fuck off frog)

>>69092055
creasing

>>69091889
depends where you get hit. any vital organs get pierced then you're probably dead straight away but if not then you'll probably get septic shock if its not removed immediately. I think some bullets are designed to explode upon insertion so they're likely to do more damage than a regular bullet

>>69092052
tell that cunt that its a little more nuanced than just blowing into the fucking thing and to fuck off

lads, do you believe that four yanks flew a quarter of a million miles, landed on a planet, drove round it on a car, jumped back into their space ship that was less technically advanced than an iphone, flew another quarter of a million miles back and suffered no ill health whatsoever in the 1960s?

>>69092133
>less technically advanced than an iphone
there is no metric to compare them

>>69092133
yes

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>>69092133

*hears some crazy mumbling*
*find a tin foil hat on the floor*
*walk past >>69092133 flapping his gum*
*hands him he's tin foil hat*

haha guess george michael's had his Last Christmas

>>69092098
unlikely to get septic shock from a bullet desu

>>69092133
dunno why people talk as if you need super computers to land on the moon, they could have done the calculations 300 years ago

>>69092147
They wouldn't understand what metric is anyway

>>69091889
>>69092098
if you die from the shot itself, it's almost always due to internal bleeding or obvious organ damage i.e. heart, brain destruction or lung damage. you can then die secondary to it, and that's more like sepsis or clots and that sort of shit.

that's why hollow points are used for unarmoured targets - the bullet expands as it strikes the body due to a hollowing in the projectile and fragments in the body and increases the amount of internal laceration. that's why one may prefer to be shot by AP rounds (at a distance) - the round is so sharp and solid that it will go right through you, only damaging what it contacts rather than lacerating nearby vessels or organs with shrapnel. however, AP projectiles usually come from muchh higher calibre rounds so while it may do less damage in terms of laceration, you're talking possible fist sized exit holes.

>>69092206
ha ha classic

you should be a comedian mate

>>69092206
that was WHAM! idiot

>>69092098
>>69092219
okay thanks

>>69092133
yeah you don't need advicanced alien technology to get to space.

we were flying for years before it and reaching space isn't ay more difficult than that. there have been sky divers to have been to the limit of the atmosphere. once you're past that, manoeuvring in space is easy because there's no atmosphere

technology is a bad meme and all the tech firms in the world has nothing to compare to a determined government

just wanked over pics of your mum

'but my mum doesnt have pics on the internet' you muse

WRONG

Eat shit and die, lads.

annie lenox?

>>69092268

my mates mum unironically has her own section on tac amateurs.

>>69092308
and you haven't posted them?

wish i was born in the uk so i could legally be a neet in london

>>69092259
Though you actually would need modern technology to fake a moon landing.

Really makes you think.

*closes the tab that has /brit/ in it*

>>69092352
it's overrated #

>>69092352 I wish I was born in England so I could be a proper roadman

OFF TO THE SALES!!!!!

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>tfw it's downhill till Christmas

wish hugh dennis was my dad

>>69092443
haha me too
*boots up steam.exe*

had been feeling good the last two days until i looked in a mirror haha

>>69092507
what an odd thing to say

>>69092443
t. everyone everyday

found out ar Becks had an affair yesterday

feel betrayed x

TO THE OFF SALES!!!!!

brought doggo down to me room :3

might have a salted clitoris

>>69092613
>room is downstairs

fob

>>69092613
post pic

i bet you had a ready meal for christmas you sad runt

>>69092613
would like doggos if they didn't want to lick you all the time

>>69092636
post pic

Any comfy films on right now or should I just continue reading Les Mis?

>>69092696
*cashew
damn autocorrect

>>69092507
was my favourite on mock the week

>wake up to see that poof George Michael has died

I swear to God 2016 has been a fucking amazing ear

for to most part i imagine suburban UK to just be like suburban canberra in winter

pretty cold, pretty grim with little going on

found out yesterday that you'd have to be lucky if cats want to sit with you

who the fuck wants to take the risk of just paying thousands for a pet that doesn't even like you

>>69092718

I guess you have to have faith

>>69092724
probs more stabbings here 2bh

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>>69092727
>paying thousands for a pet

>>69092771
think he means collectively. i.e food, vet etc

>>69092771
he probably means in vets bills and that over the course of its life

morning cunts

room stinks of turkey and cum

why did people speak so posh in old movies? even crass yanks

>>69092727
All cats like to sit with people, is this a wind up.

>>69092724
Why is Canberra so cold? Looks comfy af though, I doubt its anywhere as bad as the UK

>>69092818
fuck you cunt

>>69092838
I was using cunt as an affectionate term

this Lillie girl in pokemon moon is a qt

>>69092727
its bullshit, ive had 8 cats in my life and only one has never wanted anything to do with humans

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDYlWAf-ekk

got rock hard morning wood that won't go away lads

tfw a kitty rubs its face on you

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I'd love to live here desu, houses are probably twice the size of the UK and I bet it's still 80%+ white

>>69092827
>>69092851
they would let me pet them and everything but if i picked them up the normal way they'd fuck off immediately and the people i was with were saying how thats completely normal

mum is downstairs crying about something
ah yes so nice to be back

>>69092888
it's actually a really cosy place, if one had a life established there- house, work gf etc you'd never leave, as alot of people find out

however it's verymuch so a town of 'what ifs' and the drudgery takes its toll

t, grew up in canberra

>>69092911
Those cats were sexual abuse victims.

>>69092888
Looks like you'd have to drive everywhere like a fucking yank though.

>>69092888
Its fucking shit. Worked for an MP and the staff of the office used to take turn flying there to help the MP. It's shit. Boring.

why is wonderful life b&w but meet me in st louis is colour?

haha doing a sob lad

not gay I swear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWhBYfl67H4&feature=youtu.be

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this is one of my favourite images ever desu

left is fully me at like 17

>>69092955
>Little girl gives 82-year-old widower new lease on life

bit noncy

this ak47 turn your smile into a frown

>>69092951
why is it boring? what is it missing that London doesn't have?

>>69092869
cute!

>>69092955
arrest this nonce