/brit/

first

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fite me irl

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>12 degrees on christmas

ah yes

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nuthin like a j' on christmas day

gonna eat all my celebrations

I got:

a six pack of beer
2 bottles of wine
a coffee machine
a tea pot
a voucher for cooking lessons

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>tfw to dum to hav any family too spend crissmus with

christmas?

more like crapmas

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This one looks a little odd lads

Anyone got the photo of Ribena's spliff

strange how Bowie always sang with a posh accent but spoke with a common as fuck cockney accent

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ahh so the proxy mong is a fucking brummie too

thought I couldn't hate the cunt any more

>tfw two intelligent to participate in useless capitalist consumerism

>>69056455
jesus christ what is wrong with that keyboard

>>69056414

fuck off alcoholic

i just found out about this 'onision' lad
he's fucked, he's like 40, but he thinks he's still 16
very sad

>>69056368

I had a nightmare I was Bran Stark from ASOIAF and being led to the cave Bloodraven is in, except it wasn't Bloodraven, it was John Oliver. The Children of the Forest also had the exact same faces as John and instead of fire balls they were hurtling the words 2016. John kept pestering me to come into the burrow, saying "COME ON ANON, IT'S 2016!"

>>69056472
also a londoner at the same time

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got the new whip for xmas lads

r8 pls

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morning lads

>>69056463
foy

>>69056412

degenerate

>>69056455
muy bueno

https://twitter.com/jeffbuckleytbh/status/812962460147785728
Hmm

>>69056511

>le epic drug man

Merry Christmas to thee, chap!

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Reminder that the janny is working today, Christmas day, for free.

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you gotta love Alex Jones

>>69056516
>>69056516
post ur pretty accents in my thread pls thanks

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Why is the expression so creepy on the BN biscuits?

>>69056507
fucking lit lad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuJDhFRDx9M

>>69056545
i would not have myself pegged as 'epic' but thank you anon

>>69056463
I thought we had the worst? I never drink the tap water

Can't remember the hard vs soft water argument

dont get interracial porn

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>>69056550
>for free
SURELY he receives some sort of holiday-period bonus, in exchange for his time and effort?

Who in their right mind, would do this for free?

>>69056544
>IRA banner
I thought she was english

>>69056557

Would you like to hear a drunken Geordie later on?

Also anyone fancy a game of charades? You'll never guess what mine is.

>>69056507
tad dire

wonder what reece got chloe for xmas

>>69056511
>spending Crimbo alone smoking drugs
stop depressing me pham

Don't feel confident in my sexual abilities lads :(

>>69056574
Birmingham water is piff my man.

>>69056595
has she not posted about 200 pictures of it on instagram yet?

>>69056576
like regular porn except with ethnics init
>>69056598
i'm not alone though

Came in drunk and saw the oven was on so obviously I turned it off, turns out dad was cooking beef slowly overnight and I ruined Christmas

>>69056585
>Geordie

would rather stick ice picks into my ear canals

>>69056598
>smoking weed with your family
chav runt

>>69056412
Looks like one of ribena's

>>69056511
Almost sparked one up in my truck but don't want to look blasted in all of mummy's Christmas pictures

>>69056617
lmao I hope he disowns you

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>when people unironically use the slang of the "new english"

>>69056550
"""""working"""""

>>69056551
Love how Ben has to label everything

Sorry I thought you said chicken run

>>69056617
Hope he doesn't lube before your punishment bumming tonight

performing a poo live

>>69056576
I heard it makes fuck all cash too
its definitely less popular than most other stuff

I dream of the day where I can walk into an apiary, wearing the necessary protective gear, ruining each beehive, therefore angering the colonies of bees. But oh my, what's this? Did I leave my gonads hanging out of the protective gear?

want some fucking weed at some point today
wonder if the weedman is really on his job

What book is your Bible lads? I consider Being and Time mine.

>>69056615
how are you going to get away with smoking without your family smelling/noticing you're high?

>>69056667

doubtful

should've planned ahead

>>69056673
I can't read, never had a boo or a bible before

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silent night, lonely night
all is gone, full of spite
girlfriend left me, been gone for a while,
slept with my brother, and left our child.
sleep in heavenly peace... sshhhh, sleep...

>>69056617
hahahaha

>>69056583
she is

>>69056673
myth of sispyhus

Having a Christmas poo :) got to make room for the turkey haha

merry christmas lads

>>69056617

absolute spacker

>spending christmas morning on /brit/

You fucking sad acts.

>>69056665
great post chuckled desu but one thing bothers me

would 'thereby' be more suitable in this context?

>>69056673

denial of death

>>69056689
do it outside, not smoke too often (and half of them are asleep/at work)

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>>69056673
>>69056740
Good lads.

>>69056583
Think she just likes latching on to minority groups

>ask for Deadpool on Blu Ray
>Mum buys me the DVD
>Gets pissed off when I ask for the receipt so I can exchange it

Fucking normies

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0GNaOv1d1LZ

my poo wank song as it was meant to be sung

LSD reveals ancient biological messages that are stored in your DNA

>>69056769

It's 11:18PM you fucking sad act

Get off the 'chon and celebrate Jesus' birthday with your family.

smfh

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

>>69056774
Hmm. Possibly. Yes.
I'll remember that for next time.
Thank you.

>>69056817
worst in the series

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>ask for Deadpool on Blu Ray

Can you drink water that's been in a bottle for a month

>>69056412
Your cigarette has a foreskin.

>>69056740
Overrated garbage

>>69056794

>Capeshit
You're only hurting yourself.

>>69056794
Iktf, most people don't know what Blu Ray is

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>tfw to intelligent for christmas

>>69056812

I'd be careful giving people lip like that, never know who you're talking to. Might be someone who has no problem testing your chin.

>>69056818
al g merry xmas

>>69056832
no

>>69056410
weird as fuck mate. got my bedroom window open and everything

>>69056851

envy your house desu

>>69056857
cheers cunny

>>69056851
literal billionaire

>>69056817
Good lad

>>69056826
Don't think so lad

>>69056851
Nice house

>>69056851
fuck off billionaire

>>69056841
love this maymay

>>69056851
>the water filter
FUCKING
HOWLING

>>69056851
take off those pants
bitch boi

pissed as a parrot and can already feel the hangover looming

>>69056851
FOB

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>>69056841
>tfw to intelligent to participate in religion, let alone celebrate the deeds of a carpenter who lived 2000 years ago in jewland

>there are actually people with billions of pounds posting on /brit/

wew lads

Don't care about christmas now it's finished

Boxing day football tomorrow needs to hurry up

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>>69056851
REEEEEEEEE

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ah yes

>being jealous of a rich kid
you utter cretins

>>69056961
fuck off actual billionaire

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>>69056961

>>69056961

timestamp or it didnt happen

>>69056961
What the fuck
Fuck off landed titled gentry

I hate rich people.

Why didn't Harry use the time turner to go back in time and stop himself from becoming a Horcrux?

>>69056961
fuck off gazillionaire

I hate poor people

>>69056999
Why didn't he use it to go back in time and have a look at girls naked?

william buckley had the GOAT accent

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEIrZO069Kg

need someone to post their povvo council house christmas scene picture so we can laugh at them please

why is Harry a boy not a cute magical girl

>>69057034
Delete

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>tfw to intelligent for a gf

>>69057052
Because a woman wrote the book.

>That episode of Harry Potter where the slow janitor uses the secret tunnel to perv on the girls

>>69056961
Fucking wank Christmas tree haha

>>69057017
i see you've been reading my fanfic

>>69057058
>tfw 2 intelligent too know this feel

>>69057034
>tfw proper povvo and we couldn't afford much so only my little sister got presents this year

Actually mind boggled by the fact that there are people who have so much money they don't ever need to work a day in their life posting on /Brit/
What a weird timeline this is

what time is dinner lads

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>tfw to intelligent for sexual relations

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Merry Christmas Germoney

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Mummy got me a new bike for Christmas

what do you think

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>>69057058
>tfw too intelligent to understand how human interaction works and consequently obtain a gf

will 3 beers get me drunk?

they're coronas

just tucked into a nice pavlova lads AMA

>>69057081
3Pm
Got 2 kilos of potatoes in 440g of goose lard and a turkey

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>>69057034

>tfw start work in an hour

REALLY don't want to go.

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>tfw to intelligent for spooks

>>69057116
lol

>>69057116
I'm off work for a month wahey

>small African nation
>15 BCMs
>the secret to immortality
>a house on the moon
>Lynx Africa gift set
>the sacrifice of every first born in a small Afghani village in my honour

Not a bad haul this year lads

>>69057092
>flat earth

nice easter egg

>>69057102
drank half a bottle of whisky 6 coronas and a few shots of tequula last night and woke up feeling pretty dead but still alive so 3 probably isnt enough

just did a wank to my cousin
it's going to be awkward seeing her later

>live in area with high black population
>can hear sirens every 10 minutes on Christmas fucking day

thanks nigs

>>69057116

grim

>>69057081
6pm

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>tfw to intelligent to have a happy christmas

>>69057076
i'm boggled by the fact that within a timespan of 15 billion years, we were born as the most sentient creatures on a particular tiny rock floating in cosmic dust, and just as the singularity is about to happen

business idea : sell whole /brit/ to reddit

>>69057116

I think you can lie on Jesus's birthday

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>tfw to inteligent for the U.K.

>>69057102
have you never drunk alcohol before? why would you ask this

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>>69057132
>lynx africa gift set

>>69057136

why would you drink that much alcohol? how is that even enjoyable?

>>69056617
Creasing

there are no aliens

we're alone in the universe

>>69057167
just a laugh innit

>>69057165

i have, i just don't drink very often (a few times a year) and was just curious :)

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>tfw I got 3 individual pairs of socks for christmas

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>tfw to intelligent to believe in imaginary lines known as borders

>>69057182
Abos are proof of aliens

wew lads
have any of you ever actually been to reddit?
the place is a fucking shitshow

>>69057102
Depends mostly on your body weight and how much tolerance you've built up.

>>69057193
>individual pairs

hmm

>>69057161
Love this pic

>>69057193
>individual pairs
hmm

all I want for christmas
is (You)

>>69057188
you seem like a fucking poof mate
glass yourself with the corona

Harry Potter? Yeah, mate. Dullest franchise ever.

wearing jeans for the first time in 5 months lads
look at me, actually making an effort

jaw is sore from all the your mum's fanny i've been munching

prefer new years to christmas

>>69057201

i like some subreddits but don't like a lot of redditors yet i always check the comments for some reason

>>69057229

not very christmas-like of you desu

>>69057236
Shant ever watch one of those films

>>69057166
This kong has a funny face

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>tfw to intelligent to participate in the 'banter' in /brit/

so hungover, gotta go meet my dad and his friend and go pub then eat meal then skype my relatives

beer do ur thing
cure me now

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>women and nu-males

embarrassing

>>69057102
kind of
down them quickly and you'll feel pretty buzzed, but not drunk

>>69057193
>tfw polyester socks

>tfw too smart to use Gregorian calendar

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>>69056961

>>69057270

>buzzed

FOY

>>69057102
Fuck off you underage mong

>>69057249
>is a massive poof
>browses reddit
well fuck me, who'd of guessed it?
get out of here, you're a disgrace to your nation

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>tfw to intelligent to align myself with the left and right wings of the political dichotomy

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the main christmas present love my mummy x

Mandy bomb is slowly beginning the digestion process in my stomach. My stomach acids should make quick work of the rizla

Very impressive

>>69057293
Why so harsh?

Everyone here started out when they were about 14. Unless you're some reddit/facebook newshitter

>>69057139
>live in an area that's full of old, white, rich people
>last time I heard sirens from my house was when my old next door neighbour popped his clogs two years ago

Feels bad. He was super nice and we would always chat if we saw each other out side

His wife is the complete opposite. She drove into our bins the other day knocking them over, and then drove off

>>69057288
Ah yes, the anti-establishment.

>>69057330

>super nice

FOY

>>69057318
my mum absolutely rattled me once when i was a kid because i left the goo on the sofa and it left a stain

>Mfw 4 beers make me a fantastic liar

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>tfw too cheeky to use albion's """Greenwich""" mean time

Britain is an evil country

mutability is our tragedy but it is also our hope

>>69057328
FUCK OFF YOU 12 YEAR OLD TWAT GET OFF THE CHON AND GO AND PLAY WITH YOUR ACTION MEN

GET HIM JANNY

>>69057341
>establishment = rich
ah yes

Do you reckon Obama's daughters have lost their virginity?

>>69057167
That's not a huge amount, I'd be drunk from that much but not uncomfortably so
apart from that I hate tequila

>>69057349
haha she didnt mind when i left goo on her sofa the other night haha

>>69057385
yeah to obama

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Look at this alpha twat, he oozes confidence

had 2 wanks

>>69057328
it's the only way for them to learn
they have to become as cynical and edgy as us before they can properly 'fit in' to this secret club

>>69057302

not a poof, i just don't like to drink alcohol very often because i don't find it THAT enjoyable but i don't have anything against people who do drink alcohol often.

and reddit isn't ALL bad, just like the 'chon isn't ALL bad either - maybe you'd know that if you looked further than just the front page of the website.

>>69057201
I like subreddits that have 15,000 subs at most. The ones I'm subbed to do away with Reddit circle jerking and instead just do normal forum circle jerking

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>tfw to intelligent to form long lasting relationships with other humans

Reminder Slytherin only got humanized once JK Rowling became filthy rich.

what's an acceptable time to start drinking lads?

>>69057328
>Everyone here started out when they were about 14
Yes, but I don't remember asking cringeworthy questions about durr how many beers until I get drunk. underage reddit shit just shit up the site and add nothing of value

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Santa left me this for christmas xoxo

>>69057433
>humanized
FOY

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>>69057433
yes yes, very good. HOWEVER

>Arkham Asylum
"Oh cool, Joker is the villain should be good"
>Arkham City
"Nice, looks like Hugo Strange is the villain this time. Oh, Joker's back. Well, fine then, I guess"
>Arkham Origins
"Black Mask this time? Hopefully Joker hasn't shown up yet in this prequel. Aaaaand there he is. Fuck off"
>Arkham Knight
"Alright Joker died at the end of City so now it should be about someone else finally. 'Lol Bats I'm in your head now HahHAhahAHAha'. Fucking REEEEEEEEEEE!"

>>69057318
Me and my mates always used to throw those on the ceiling.

>>69057450
looks like he already had a go on her

send it back

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howling

CANNOT wait for my grandad to have a bit too much port and go on a racist rant. I'm looking forward to talking to him about Donald Trump, I haven't seen him properly since the election.

>>69057450
>santa

FOY

>>69057328
I unironically started on 4chan when I was 11

Mate showed me in year 7, he jumped ship from 2ch which he used to browse hentai in year 6

Mad ting

bunch of fucking shirt-lifters in this thread

>>69057473
>the weak should fear the strong

>>69057478
My brother is dating a black girl from LONDON, looking forward to meet her later. Racism should be illegal.

>>69057478
>TFW granddad died 6 years ago
I never appreciated him because when I was young I was scared of him
Miss him nos

>>69057489
first porn i ever wanked to was hentai, i found it on newgrounds.
really good times desu

I really wouldn't mind just sitting in my room all day and eating christmas dinner there too

>>69057512
>Racism should be illegal.

It is you dumb nigger

>>69057512
>dating a black girl

christ he must be desperate

who here /toopoorsoxmaswascancelled/?

>>69057518
>I was scared of him
Scared of your own granddad? How does that happen?

Do you think GCHQ are working today?

>>69057549
Day and night, every day

racism is a crime and crime is for black ppl haha

:gryffindor
normie grotto

:hufflepuff
irrelevant

:ravenclaw
bitch house

:slytherin
only competent one

i have 2 wanks in the morning
i have 2 wanks at night
i have 2 wanks in the afternoon
it makes me feel alright
i have 2 wanks in time of peace
and 2 in time of war
i have 2 wanks before i have 2 wanks
and then i have 2 more

merry christmas my lads

>>69057549
No mate weve all gone home

>>69057545
He was massive, at least 6'4 and built like a brick shit house, not even joking.
He used to growl and pretend to threaten me sometimes.
Of course it was all jokes but I never picked up on it.

>>69057581
Hufflepuff is the patricians choice

>>>/tv/77620001

this is a good post

>Internet is shitting it's pants so can't play cs go

Ah yes very good posting from my phone BTW x.

>>69057600
good post

>>69057549
yeah /brit/'s own local spook was having a go at me earlier.

daddy spent all his bennies on frosty jacks so he couldn't afford a gift for me
i couldn't afford flowers so i put a handful of daisys on my mums grave
the doggos got cancer in his bollocks and we can't afford to get it fixed so he's practically dead
dad reckons we should sell him to the butchers for a few extra bob
only got £3 left on the 'lecky key to last me until January 9th, so i'll see you lads later
m-merry christmas

>>69057600
>>69057619
aussie poofs like hufflepuff
who would've thought

this thread is shambolic

had very intense morning wood this morn, the lord is truly putting me to the test

What presents you gotten /brit/?
I've gotten nothing at all so far.

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>>69057603
THE FIRE RISES

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>>69057660
Like 50 quid worth of bollocks

>>69057635
Just know this proxy is only attracting more attention to yourself, once Hiro replies to our request we'll begin working on tracing it back to you.

>>69057660
chocolates
mensa tests because i am a literal genius
not opened what's under the tree yet

>>69057685

it is the thought that counts :^))

who /swordinthestone/ here?

>>69057518
oh yeah? my granddad died 12 years ago

beat that, chump

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just posted this on facebook lads

>>69057709
Yea

Taking a shit now though, forgot to pause it

>>69057660

Batman vs superman on blu ray, man utd Jersey, star wars mug, shower gel set, crosshatch jacket. Not bad t b h

Want all runts OUT

>>69057586
Sublime are good

>>69057732
my ancestors died thousands of years ago mate, get on my level

>>69057660
>£200
>bag of celebrations
>chocolate coins

r8

>all these cunts saying santa

Americanised cunts

The Patrick Stewart Christmas Carol is by far the best. Can we all agree?

>>69057549
no, they're taking a day off, same as the police, fire brigade, NHS...

i asked my mum for a length of polyethylene braided rope for christmas and she got me fucking polypropylene braided rope instead

i can't hang my with that you dumb cunt, it won't support my weight. what a fucking stupid bitch.

>>69057691
I haven't done anything bad anyroad.

>>69057756
my primordial soup ancestors died millions if not billions of years ago

Muslim neighbours just brought us over some mulled wine

>>69057766
my mate calls petrol stations "gas stations" and car parks "parking lots". almost decked the cunt out of reflex the first time i heard him say it.

>>69057790
hope you forced some down their necks

>>69057782
You've clearly got something to hide to use a proxy but that will be down to our investigations team to decide.

>>69057790
hope you glassed them with the bokkles

>>69057790
would check it for poison lad or would be better if you three it out

>>69057788
>primordial soup
>believing in theories recently discounted by science.

i've been wished a merry christmas by pakis and muslims more than i have by white people lmao

>>69057766

Father Christmas innit guvnor.

Gf told me she doesn't want me to go over to her parents as she's embarrassed by me lads

>>69057812
all scientists should be killed

Really want a mommy gf, has anyone on /brit/ had one before, what was it like?

tried to eat a massive toblerone in one sitting
gut ache ensued

>>69057814
good. about time they made an effort to fit in.

>>69057809
i like this roleplay to be honest.

but the actual GCHQ guy tries to be more subtle about it.

tonights gonna be fucking schiz

never had sex

>>69057814
must be nice living in london

>I have to work on christmas eve, day, boxing day and/or new years eve/day

t. runt

>>69057828
you can't, they will just make more. Its what they do.

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>>69057814
>>69057790
wtf still think muzzies are bad? think again after these posts!

>>69057829
Had a gf who was much more responsible and mature than me but was only a couple years older

drinking JD from the bottle in bed

merry christmas /brit/
even the rasheeds, i hope you have a merry rasheed holiday

>>69057871
wtf we need to let them all in now

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>awkwardly spending crimbo at the GF's house for the 4th year running, despite her saying we'll take turns, but she guilt trips me in to spending it at her family's every year

>>69057834
was it new or old spacing

>>69057896
FONT

>>69057896

break up with her

you people are fucked
there's like a core /brit/ group and they're all posting here on fucking christmas

>>69057896
cuck

>>69057871
how do they manage to be so consistently terrible
is it like the sunday sport except it's all an inside joke

won't be swayed by the muzzie propaganda being circulated here

>>69057914
doesn't that make you one sweetie

>>69057896
you're a bit of a cuckold lad

>>69057901
new but its less of a loss at that scale

>>69057600
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*opens the tub of celebrations and notices a distinct lack of any good ones left*

Ah yes, impressive

shan't be replying to any irish cunts in this thread

>>69057914
So are you ya rocket

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>all this chocolate

shan't be replying to any yank cunts in this thread

Why does every fucking nigger I see have to have about 10 fucking kids with them

>>69057914
he says posting on 4chan on fucking christmas

>>69057942

Maltesers or fuck off

>>69057896
hate that

every Christmas I'd have to go over to the exes with loads of her family there (very chilled in my house, not in hers), I used to just play with her little brother and his new toys haha, he was a good lad

still haven't gotten out of bed 2 b fair

>>69057961
r/k selection

>tfw jew
>parents don't even properly celebrate Chanukah
>don't get presents

bit shit

new zealand is infinitely better than australia in every way possible including rugby

mum guilt tripped me into having a picture with my sister
i look suicidal on it, black rings under my eyes and a forced as fuck smile
i told her not to put it on facebook, but i know she will anyway
ah yes, "christmas"

>>69057942
>celebrations
shit-tier selection compared to favourites

kill the niggers

>>69057992
it's far too windy though. you can't be comfy with perpetual wind

>>69057998
>favourites
What the fuck are favourites hahahaha

>desert yanks commenting on christmas when it's literally the middle of summer there

could you not?