/brit/

christmas

ein volk, ein reich, ein fuhrer

tfw no gf

Who /hungover/ here?

too early to start drinking?

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>>69054877

nth for just waking up

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christmas is no time for her to be pushing her disgusting commie agendas

reckon i should have a word as a representative of /brit/?

>>69054885

fuck no, it's never too early on weekends and holidays

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>>69054877
tfw gf

>>69054885
I just started drinking Baileys desu

haha last christmas i OD'd on 5meodalt

Family will be in here in an hour lads smdh

have no inhibitions regarding drugs

fancy getting a few g's of the nosecandy and a cheeky bottle of vodka again tonight, but i feel guilty about spending £400 in 2 days on drugs

thanks for the money nan
*immediatley spends it on shitty drugs*
haha lol

such is life for the degenerate

>>69054913
I thought a commie would hate the queen

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>>69054877
>tfw no gf

>>69054913
>Disrespecting Queen Aisha
Fuck off runt

>>69054935
at least you have a family

>>69054944
>being this edgy

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>North Pole-themed Christmas ads
>penguins waddling about in the background

>>69054944
stop buying street gear
get some darknet stuff

>>69054948
she does she's implying that the queen is gonna die

>>69054944
Mate fuck off you utter melter you sound like someone who has just discovered drugs. Give it a few years and you'll be burnt out

have a hive on my arsecrack
makes it very itchy but when I scratch it looks lewd

Just hada bucks fizz and gonna have some wine and foreign beer later

Is it acceptable to chase whisky? Don't mind drinking it, but it lingers in the ol' consumption vessel

>>69054955
fuck off dago

got a flightradar subscription and a bad dragon giftcard

>tfw live in the best country in the UK for premium street quality drugs tested at pure percentages

>>69055005
cracking haul

mum just suggested spin the bottle as a fun family christmas game

time to head back to my room I reckon

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>Russian plane bound for syria packed with just some rank + file soldiers loyal to putin goes """""missing""""" minutes after take off
>crashes in the black sea
>no survivors
>days after Russian ambassador assassinated by pro-rebel gunman

ah yes, DEFINITELY not a false flag to justify further Russian involvement in Syria

how do you pronounce "5meodalt"

Hanging out my arse lads, might have to crack open the champagne now

I SWEAR
BY THE MOON AND STARS AND THE SKY

>>69054944
Just drink vodka and eat some crimbo sweets instead of spending it mate.

I've had sniff a few times before and maybe its because I never got into it but I think its just a waste of money.

>>69055043
I'll be there

>>69055029
you might get a snog off your fit sister though

>>69054913
reckon she's being sarcastic here? or is she one of them birds that likes the queen because she's a qt old lady

i fucking hate christmas desu
got to spend the next 10 hours with the family before i can finally get drunk and go to sleep
CANNOT wait until this is over, i just want to be left alone

>>69054989
Depends on the whiskey desu

>>69055038
Russia's doing good work in Syria mate

>>69055067
no she's a dirty commie who wants the queen to burn in hell

>Mfw Chris-chan is slowly becoming Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs
He even looks like him now

>>69055066
Also might have to suck his grandad's cock

That's a hell of a gamble

>buy "cocaine" which is 80% benzocaine or paracetamol from a random cunt in the local pub
>yeah mate cocaine is shit don't rate it at all

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going to unironically watch Titanic later and love every cheesy as fuck minute of it haha

>>69055099
worth it

>>69055029
>>69055029
>mum just suggested spin the bottle as a fun family christmas game

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Wpdfeeu7Mh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y77KI9u1-Q

doing a look/listen

>>69055095
>tfw chris-chan has a driver's license and I don't

oh dear

>>69055039

five emeeoh dalt

it's one of the worst drugs i've taken, hated it

>>69055066
wtf I'm suggesting spin the bottle now

>>69055144
get a driver's licence then

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>bottle of Kraken
>2 egyptian cotton shirts
>Paul Smith cufflinks
>new tie
>some new pants
>new egyptian cotton bedding
>200 bong

not done too badly here lads

>>69055144
jesus christ lad even Tim has a fucking car

get your shit together

>>69055144

The very idea of being on the same road as Chris-chan terrifies me.

He's clearly a danger to the public, how is he allowed a driver's license?

Just seen a military transport aircraft come over my house, I live near beam airport I'm scared lads

i rang up my mate at 3am and opened up to him about my childhood trauma when i was in a drunken stupor
really wish i wouldn't have done that

>>69055177
haven't got the time

work a 9-5 with an hour and a half commute each way and I volunteer most of the weekend

>>69055185
tim was a successful businessman before he went batshit insane though

would have been shocked if he didn't drive

>>69055144
>cwc has a drivers license and i dont
>cwc has had sex and i havent
>cwc is active with a following on social media and im not

>>69055201
for me that is the best sandwich available

>>69055201
>pre drinks
>chicken burger

ah yes

ginger maxx - lets try anal

one of my favourite scenes

>>69055202
>childhood trauma

what happened lad?

>>69055215
What do you volunteer for lad?

>>69055236
molested by a teacher

>>69055236
dad bummed me when i was 5, now my mate wants to try it too

>>69055218

>CWC will be democrat's candidate for presidency in 2028
>They won't look at his batshit insane actions other than the fact he's popular with people on the internet, can get the trans and disabled vote

Would kind of be worth it to see the debates between him and Trump.

>>69055193
>The very idea of being on the same road as Chris-chan terrifies me.
Well rest assured I think that might be quite the unlikely scenario seeming as lives in the Fucking United States you stupid tart!

>>69055201
i HATE this bitch
i don't know her, but i already know she's a vapid cunt
she absolutely knows she's attractive to normie lads aswell, look at the state
normie culture is disgusting

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>Queen too ill to attend Christmas Day church service

she's going to die isn't she lads?

need a hand here

http://poal.me/cjxqrx

http://poal.me/cjxqrx

http://poal.me/cjxqrx

>>69055038
>Viktor Ozerov, head of the Russian parliament's defence committee, has told state media that he "totally excludes" terrorism as a cause of the crash.

are you stupid

>>69055281
hopefully, need a king
this "queen" business has not been fun

>>69055239
homeless shelter in town on saturdays until the evening, on sunday I volunteer at a local RSPCA shelter doing mostly paperwork processing but sometimes I'm able to get away from the desk and walk the waggy woofs in the woods

bretty comfy

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thick mommies best mommies

everything that isn't sex is just a substitute for sec

>>69055315
>mommies
FOY!

mummy got me 150 Euros for christmas lads

>>69055307
Prince Charles is an absolute wet-end though. wouldn't be surprised if they get Mi6 to organise another car 'accident' so William is crowned king instead.

Goal for next year is to get a mommy gf. Gonna try and find one in Spain next month and see if I can set something up for summer.

>>69055307
>tfw grew up wanting to be a QC
>by the time I'm done I'll be a KC

Just my bloody luck

Just woke up at 10pm, 30C out ordered myself a huge extra-large pizza. Good Christmas.

>>69055281
just a cold mate. but you try having one at 90

>>69055236
got called a racist in greggs

Mumsy just gave me EU membership for Christmas

The thought that an escort has shagged hundreds of men turns me on desu

>>69055336
>euros

Your mum sounds like a prole

>>69055232
Megan Rain & Adrian Rae - Best Friends Anal
VERY good new scene

NOT looking forward to the cheeky JFs giving it the biggun when ar queenie pops her clogs

got 500 syrian pounds from father christmas lads

>>69055361
>just a cold
ah yes

>>69055310
why do you volunteer

>>69055336
You have a Mummy?
Didja gettit in cairo?

>>69055249
>>69055255

i'm really sorry that happened to you.

now that you're older, you should track them down and beat the shit out of them

>>69055330
va fanculo cazzo

idk why I get shower sets every year when I barely shower

Happy holidays.

>>69055404

quality post

not even opened my presents yet

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haha santas on flightradar lmao

>>69055404
maybe they're trying to tell you something

How do I get a gf lads?

I'm 23 next year and I feel like I am running out of time.

>>69055434

hit the gym, get a better job

>>69055434
just be yourself

>>69055404
its the go to povvo presents

ive gotten at least 1 every year for as long as i can remember

Haha mums only gone and got me a holiday to Switzerland

She's booked me in at some hotel called the 'dignitas ' anyone know if it's any good?

got 500 zimbabwean dollars for crimbo

>>69055423
>not opening them as soon as you get up
Rasheed

>>69055425
fuck hope he doesn't get shot down flying over that muslim country

>>69055454

but what if his normal self is a knob?

>>69055466
>getting out of bed

>>69055466
sorry not everyone lives in a blissful state of mania 24/7

>>69055392
just something to do innit

most of my mates are at uni so weekends would be me just sitting on my arse shitposting if I wasn't doing this

been very lucky to have the life I do so I figure I may as well try and help others who haven't been as fortunate - better than just throwing money at some charity

think my dads losing it lads. has the house done up like a fort with 4 locks on every door, an irritating as fuck signal that lets you know someone is at the front door before they ring the bell and a CCTV system that shouts vaguely threatning messages at people when they approach the front garden

hope he's not listening to Alex Jones or some shit

>>69055454
But myself sucks with women.

>>69055448
I'm trying to become a teacher, will take me a while yet for that to be completed.

>>69055425
that's not him, a syrian asylum seeker took over his sleigh and shot santa in the head

he's going to fly the reindeer head first into a christmas market

>>69055486
good lad

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>>69055460
really cracking post mate

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>>69055425
very interesting ;^)

>have to leave london to come home to my depressing northern town

ah yes

haven't even looked under the tree to see if there's anything for me

>>69055281
Her and Phil are undertaking a suicide pact, they'll die the day before Trump's swearing in as President to steal his thunder

>>69055500
>I'm trying to become a teacher, will take me a while yet for that to be completed.

nice, there's lots of women in classes, you'll make it

>>69055493
it does seem a tad excessive, but you do live in Ireland..

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Seem to have woken up before anyone else

Merry Christmas boys x

>>69055425
https://www.flightradar24.com/santa

how can air traffic control allow this?

he is flying about like a fucking madman he's endangering other air traffic

>>69055486
good mindset la

what did you get for christmas?

have to go to mass now ugh

>>69055455
my mum literally has a box of "spares" with just shower sets

happy saturnalia lads. ave caesar

>>69055493
does he filter the water? Ireland is the only EU country with mandated flouride in the water

>>69055544
that'll be 600 dollarydoos

eating some of my mint matchmakers now lads

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>>69055493
>and a CCTV system that shouts vaguely threatning messages at people when they approach the front garden

crying

>>69055372
weird thing to say

>>69055545

FOY

>>69055545
>leaving your christmas lights on overnight

hope your house burns down lmao

*shags everyone in this thread*

Gay means happy and now you're all gay!

>>69055548
santa always fucks up on flight radar every year lmao

>>69055537
more crime in the UK (more nigs and pakis) than here

Are you thinking of Northern Ireland? That's not Ireland m8

>>69055504
>>69055550
cheers lads, am considering packing it in for a time so I can learn to drive at weekends though

im so gay right now!

>>69055493
>and a CCTV system that shouts vaguely threatning messages at people when they approach the front garden

Think your dad's joined the IRA

can't wait for the "have you got a girlfriend yet, anon?" comment from my grandads, uncles, nans and aunties when i visit them later. always a classic, that one.

>>69055545
Good morning mr yankington, merry christmas and have a nice day x

>>69055493
pikeys got him m8

>>69055563
>does he filter the water? Ireland is the only EU country with mandated flouride in the water

i thought about telling my dad that Sam Adams lager contains flouride, but i didn't want to ruin beer for him

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No bf

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>>69055548

>REGISTRATION HOHOHO
>GROUND SPEED 144,921 kts

>>69055629

lmao fag

>lindt Santa
>aftershave
>books
>coats
>football shirt
>money

Rather pleased lads

>>69055608
This is why I tactically volunteer to work every other day than Christmas so I never see them.

>>69055563
that explains the absolute state of the calcified runtatos who post on here

>>69055629
ill be your christmas boyfriend

Mfw gonna order a bunch of obscure Hungarian, Russian and central European novels with some gift cards I got.

>>69055641
you have low standards

I like it

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>>69055651
>runtatos

>>69055641
Good haul desu, would rather have a bunch of povvo chocs than a lindt Santa though ngl

>socks
>dressing gown
>chocolates

ah yes very impressive

>>69055641
>aftershave
>jumper from sainsburys
Decent enough for me

>>69055674
ungrateful little sod

snorting salt water after a coke sesh is a godsend 2bh

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Don't bloody believe it

Santa's just ignoring the poor people in Africa

Disgusting

>>69055641
I got a car

>>69055674
I need a dressing gown, they are ultimate comfy mode

>>69055674
sounds fantastic

>>69055641

What football shirt fella?

>deposit for a house
>2 tickets to Japan
>BMW
>couple of Barbour coats
>1kg tub of fizzy cola bottles

not a bad haul this year

getting things done today lads

ordered my new railcard which i only have until the 31st before no longer eligible, new laptop charger after the other one broke back in summer, and finally checked into my flight which is tomorrow

god i'm so fucking lazy

>>69055604
just cut it back, you could easily find time to do both

>>69055693
>Santa's

Father Christmas you utter, fucking, YANK

Anxiously awaiting my annual bodyspray and soap kit

Been smelling quite foul since I ran out of last year's

>one of the chocolate gifs a giant tub of chocolate raisins from Costco

this is why I'm fat

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>calling gifts a haul

>>69055693

those balloons in brazil

don't want to start drinking first

we did a secret santa thing with the lads last night, my arsenal supporting mate got spurs sweatbands as a joke

the rule was whatever you got you had to wear for the night

he was on the brink of tears and refused to wear them, went outside for a cig and burned them

fucking sad case, why are arsenal fans the biggest weapons going?

>>69055749
christ what a fucking poor player

>100ft yacht
>6 rolex watches
>lamborghini aventador
>private jet

good year 2bh

got 100 tabs of acid lads

>>69055749
>having non-white friends

disgusting

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>mandatory set of lynx
>chocolate
>watch
>kobe jersey
>dosh
>uncharted 4
>set of jeans
>hoodie

decent haul Tbh

I wish I was a father desu.

>>69055761
jealous

I only got a new Mclaren

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Doing coke all night and then my Bro turns up with a 2011 Peugeot as a gift for me for crimbo nor an amazing car but for ficking free mint lmao

a LOT of planes going to the canary islands today

>>69055772
>kobe jersey

FOY

>>69055749
I'd be absolutely stoked that that's the level of stitch up he got, that's fucking nothing.

your mate sounds like a pure gimp

>>69055749
>biggest weapons going

because their logo is a weapon? haha

>aussies celebrate Christmas in summer

mental desu lads

>>69055749

The thing about Arsenal is they always bring Walcott on too early.

>no lynx deodorant/shower gel thing set this year

am I finally free?

sister is cooking all the dinner and have had nothing to eat yet and I'm STARVING

not even a fucking fry up

fucking joke

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girl mentioned that she didn't like 'vanilla' guys

hmmm

>>69055772
>Kobe jersey

Nigga you gay

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santa brought me the truth this year

>>69055772
>kobe jersey

Neck yourself.

>>69055810

tell her you want to snort coke off her asshole

>>69055817
hmm yes a black penguin classic and matching twat

>>69055810
ask her if anal is vanilla

>having a few bevs with the lads
>mates joking about how skinny i am
>"i've never seen you without long sleeves, are you a fucking skeleton under there or something?"
>he pulls up my sleeve
>my arm is covered in scars and cuts
>mates just look at me
>lad who pulled up my sleeve makes a sound as if he's been electrocuted and quickly pulls my sleeve back down
o boy
it's been 3 years since that happened and i still haven't lived it down
ah, the cringe feels as fresh today as it did all those years ago

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9jbdgZidu8

merry christmas lads

>>69055843
dont be a fucking mentalist then

>>69055843
Haha what a nerd

>>69055702
I support a shitty Championship team my boy

Watching old episodes of Law & Order and the iphone product placement is actually really iritating

>>69055850
can't play this as it makes mum cry lmao

>>69055850
my favourite Christmas song desu

Trying to think of a discreet method of waking my younger siblings up so we can get do the damn thing.

Reckon 6:45ish is too early to just lay on the horn in my truck and wake all the neighborhood kids up at once? Back in my day we would've already been up for ages by now.

*checks spam box*

hmm, still no janitor acceptance email

Is Mein Kampf a good read?

>>69055810
pfft girls who say that have no concept of what perverted sex actually is. some girl was going on about similar shit and my m8 who fucked her said she just liked having her hair pulled and being on top hahaha that was her non vanilla shit.

it's like 50 shades of gray where these hens think that really mild bdsm with silk ties is some hard shit meanwhile there's lads with their fist so deep in some girls arse that she's basically a flesh puppet

>>69055870
I watched Deepwater Horizon the other night and there's gaudy product placement for "Bud Light Lime" in that too, fuckig horrible

>>69055871
she lezzed it up with kirsty in the 90s?

Merry Christmas everyone except people who think we should keep the monarchy cause "tourism" x

>>69055749
Rather racist desu

>>69055883
want to read it myself but dont want mummy finding it in my room

Prince Philip will be king next, right? RIGHT!?

>>69055817

state of this guy
https://twitter.com/jxckhy/status/812654371645296640

>>69055871
why

Anyone else love how still and ambient outside is on Christmas day? It's almost like the entire world has stopped.

>>69055909
Just give it to the wee baby Georgie

>>69055869

Same lad, Preston North End. Go on tell us, I'll not laugh at you.

>>69055923
>white supremacist dickhead mate. His arrogance and pseudo intellectual nonsense makes people think he's clever.

how far off the wagon do you have to be that PJW looks like a white nationalist haha

mum didn't get me a ps4 game. reeeeeeeeeee worst christmas ever

>>69055909
No. He's not even a real Prince, just the Queen's husband.

>>69055937
Here it's a traffic nightmare 2bh

Gotta go see my dad in a few hours and I'll probably have to take back roads the whole way there

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>>69055790
>>69055812
>>69055829
>all this salt

I really want to live in the UK or Ireland for a while. I like the atmosphere of continual gray and general gloominess. And I like the idea of being in a completely foreign surrounding, and gradually getting familiar with it.

What would be the best city to move to?

>inb4 FOY
>inb4 we're full

>>69055937
it's like that every day. it's only your head that's stopped spinning now

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Too fucking warm

>>69055749
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

>>69055962
also
a pseuds only argument is to call someone else a pseud

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What happened to british men
https://twitter.com/jxckhy/status/810132056734859264

>>69055975
grimsby

You got a Turbo Man for Christmas lads?

>Mfw there's one nestled under our tree right now

>>69055975
move to ireland

>>69055994

i shagged ur mum outside of a pub there once

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>tfw no anime gf to spend Christmas with
Just take me to the centre of London and behead me m8.

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Jingle bells
Poley smells
Janny laid an egg

Oh what fun it is to post
My gimmick in this thread

HEY

>ferrari 250 gto
>brand new house
>loving blonde gf
>airbus a380
>united Ireland

not a bad HAUL toobh

>>69055975

We've enough coloureds lad.

>>69055993
>skinny jeans rolled up to expose ankles
>jumper but no jacket
>scarf
not a very practical outfit at all

>>69056005

I'll pack my "Kiss me I'm Irish" tee.

>>69056006
if you moved here I'd fucking feed you pavement after a quip like that

never reply to me again you snail

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>>69055937
its not like that here anymore

>>69055993
>Twitter commies

>>69055952
Wolves lad

I was at Deepdale last month, absolutely shite game

>>69056019
*lays one on ya*

>>69055937
cars constantly coming and going here

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>>69056014
>united Ireland
united with britain? :3

imagine being a "communist"

>>69055952
Wahey lad fellow nobber here

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>>69056028
ill end you, fucking abo shite

Gonna put home alone 2 on

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The family will be here soon.

Wish me luck lads.

british day posters are rubbish

or maybe it's all the students who have holidays atm

>>69056078
got die hard 2 on right now hahaha

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>>69056084
best of look brother

starting my wank

>>69056037

Fuck all wrong with Wolves, good club.

>>69056058

You on tomorrow lad?

>>69056084
Good luck, m8.

>Fitbit Charge 2
>Money
>Mandatory state issued Lynx sets
>nice raincoat

Very happy desu. Bit grim when you're not a kid though. Don't usually care for kids that much but would be nice to see some enjoying their day today.

How many people will be at yours for dinner? Only 6 here so it's not bad

Big family but New Years is usually when everybody gets together for some reason

>>69056084
good luck god bless

Wish I brought the s13 over to mums so I could wake them up with 2step bangs

Might go hit the panic button on mummy's keys and hide them instead, growing very impatient

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jesus

>>69056089
haha is australia an actual country hahaha how mental is that haha are you the brother of austria or something hahaha get it

>>69056112

> dinner

> not christmas lunch

'tism

>>69056089
everything outside of real nigga hours is shit desu

think 90% of communists are only communists because they think it looks aesthetic

>4chan pass renewal
>big ol bag of aldi's own chicken tenders
>lynx africa
>Yui Hirasawa body pillow
>a "job hunting for dummies" book (thanks, dad, very funny... wanker)

r8 the haul lads

[DISCLAIMER]
this is a paraody post and I am not actually the Janitor, i'm merely implying i'm the Janitor for comedic purpose.
he takes his job VERY seriously and will probably try to get me banned for this. again.

OH MY LUCKY STARS A NEGRO

>>69056062
could heem you no joke

walk with caution

>>69056089
ha ha apologise for hitler you cunt

got chocolates and a key ring for christmas

>>69056104
yeah STF ben pearson is better than kante

>>69056121
how is he still in the air?

>>69056121
That doesn't look like a safe cruising altitude Tbh lads

>>69056112
Will be at me nan's. Reckon it'll be around 10.

>>69056112
First time we're not having it at ours, usually family come round to ours in the morning so there's about 10 of us, but that's changed and now we're oing to a different family member's house but there'll be like 15 people

been here for hours and still haven't seen a post worthy of a (You)

>new iPhone 7 Plus
>new Macbook Pro with Magic Bar
>new iMac
>new 4K smart TV
>GTX 1080 graphics card
>iPad Air
>two pairs of Yeezys
>£500 John Lewis voucher
>new swatch watch
>two Godiva chocolate boxes
>roses, heroes and celebration boxes

Real good haul

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>>69056178
um

>>69056134
not funny at all

just looking out for you janny lad pls don't ban ha ha ;)

@69056178

ye nan

Surprised at how many boards are ignoring the fact that it's Christmas.../v/ for instance is basically the same as it always is. Anyone care to explain this?

>>69056159
especially at that speed

he's gonna crash into something

my celebrations had one twix in them

>>69056192
>>new iPhone 7 Plus
>not rose gold
fuck off povvo

mum got me a fucking bread press

>>69056140
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0fDMWI6SD4u

>>69056192
last gift best gift

>>69056192
you sound like a right cunt

>>69056112

like 16 + random girlfriends / boyfriends

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>>69056214
The other one's in the North

>>69056221
rose gold is a meme

AND THERE WON'T BE SNOW IN AFRICA THIS CHRISTMAS TIME

>>69056214
sounds good to me

>>69056225
Dad gets me a flashlight every year

Got a whole box of them at home

>>69055962
>PJW
He's not a white nationalist but he's certainly a massive dickhead

>>69056202
autism has no holidays

>>69056239
wot

>>69056233
why?

>I like bdsm

any northern lads here? Meet me outside the arndale centre at 1pm, going to give you a proper pasting.

All I want for christmas is a (You)

asked santa to turn away the refugee boats
cunt better deliver

>>69056280
>northerner rant.mp3

@82

you f*cking wish

BN BN

Cat is going fucking mental

Must be ghosts in the room

Surely Santa should be in America now? What's he doing in Eastern Europe at 1pm

>>69056280
Greggs entrance?

>>69056280
It's Jesus's birthday anon, stop beating up strangers from the internet

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turns out my family actually can hear me when i sing and talk to myself in the shower

Asked Santa for another potato blight outbreak

>>69056280
>pasting
is this northern slang for a blowie?

>>69056280
come ead then lad

i'll get me dad on ya

I'm Jewish I don't even celebrate christmas