/brit/

Poo

cara is a slag

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJFLejtwNAI

>I don't know where to get it

DNM

>>69051078
my post is better than yours you retard delete it

>>69051054
drunk as fuck.

>>69051078
Please refrain from using this sort of crude language on Christmas

Thanks x

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Saint Nick is a runt

Much prefer Father Christmas

Santa loves americans more than brits

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not sure i want to support such a racist company

sister woke me up at 6:30
fucking bollocksed
got a watch though :)

>>69051124
child if you got up so early and already got your presence

muzzies are gonna be LIVID over how much pork i ate today

Parents forgot to get me a single present

>>69051133
what

>>69051136
m8 allah was rolling in his grave at how much of the roast haram I consumed

Went for a jog lads, tripped over a dead dog. Knee all fucked up.

Merry Christmas...

>>69051145
>forgot

Oh, it's Christmas

*remembers I don't have a family anymore*

Right then, Merry Christmas

*does what I usually do everyday*

>>69051147
You stop getting up as early as possible and racing out to the tree to open presents once you exit childhood lad

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me today

Thrown up THREE TIMES today. 40+ degree heat, hungover as fuck, can't keep anything down even just pure water and I don't have any real food in the house.

Curled up in a ball on the sofa with a wet tshirt on my head hoping to get better.

the pengest munch

>>69051161
not true

Only normans wait.

>>69051100
can't believe nobody clocked this absolute scorcher of a post

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Christmas can kiss my HALAL arse!

>>69051176
me

>>69051185
grim

>grandma gave me £100 for Christmas
>while everyone was opening their presents I just spent £100 on an amazon gift card for rosy

>>69051124
I wanted to put all sails to the wind tonight but I ended up getting told to stay at a me nan's house rather than my aunt's apartment which is right downtown near all the pubs so here I am sober

>>69051190
*munches you*

>>69051201
can't even imagine a life that grim

>>69051184
nice same-fag you absolute runt

>>69051161
I didn't but my parents won't let my sister go down until we're all awake so she woke me at 7
also why are the yanks up at 3 am on Christmas day?

ive been up all take taking cocaine and drinknig and prank calling 24 hour bank lines just stumbled downstairs and told my mum someone tried to ring me and defraud me and woke me up and im stressed so wont be up till late im a fuckin genius ahahahhaha

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>>69051219
?

>>69051201
truly degenerate.

>>69051201
>mentioning rosy
Janny will have a fit

>>69051223
fingered your sister lol

>>69051232
*stabs you*

Alri, have taken care of that nuisance

>>69051232
sad-case confirmed.

I got Battlefront 1 and Star Wars Battlefront Ultimate Edition.

Feels alri' lads

Imagining some faggot trannies getting nothing but perverse sex toys and shit because sexual perversion is their entire being

Absolute disgusting runts

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>mum says its time for the christmas wank

mornin george

depressed as fuck. relationship is over. we haven't fucked in 6 months and we've both cheated. seperated on christmas drunk af. i hate life but it goes on evey god damn day. can't end it and can't continue so ijust get shit faced.

>not using Tomorrow

#justruntthings

>>69051256
i endorse this post

>>69051185
stop trying to force the hijab girls are sexy meme
its grim

cant wait to absolutely shit this christmas lunch out


xxx

>>69051273
they are though

>>69051256
Ugh

I'd really rather you not made that post lad

>>69051279
wrong

Guess I'll open presents about 9am, then ma will cook brekky. Will get ready and be on the champers by about noon hehe.

>customising 4chan
Ah yes, a runt of this calibre could fetch quite a bit on the market

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Gunna be a hot night fuck me sideways

>celebrating christmas in the summer
Aussies should be erradicated

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>>69051273
Bender

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syatyed out with 3.5 g of cocaine at 11pm currently have about 0.8gs and have smoked 30 sterling king size and drunk 9 cans of stella ahahahhaha christmas dinner about 2pm. i feel so great right now it's hard to describe i've been wtaching porn for about 4 hours and can't even get hard but it turns me on so much and makes me feel fanrtastic

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>Amazon gift cards

>>69051273
forced me fist up yer sisters gee

>>69051256
>tfw got my g(b)f some lingerie
:/

>>69051279
Rasheed

>>69051286
you're fucking wrong

are you blind

>>69051291
>>69051293
hmmm

>>69051296
>wtaching porn for about 4 hours and can't even get hard but it turns me on so much and makes me feel fanrtastic

>https://youtu.be/ZgsrzhU--2E

>>69051294
she has to go back

>>69051300
pedo shes 10

REKT the other irish poster lads

>>69051310
wrong

>>69051294
Looking real sexy done up in her bin liners x

>>69051320
15 yr old spotted

>>69051296
lmao, good post.

Enjoy getting a noseblood as you sit down next to gran for Christmas dinner though :)))

Spent 40 quid on a new travel mug

>>69051255
>Star Wars Battlefront
I'm so sorry

>>69051316
i hate this crass cunt. literally zero sense of decorum. glad he got smashed in the face in manchester

REKT his sisters fanny too

looks like a badger savaged a roast beef dinner

>>69051255
Ps4?

>>69051259
>he didn't abstain all week whilst paying his sister to walk around in lingerie to undermine his brother and win the xmas jizzing contest

get it together anon

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>>69051324
HEEM yourself pedo
>>69051333
literally wrong but I'll let you off because it's Christmas :)

>>69051341
Is it gold plated and diamond encrusted?

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>>69051344
>he wants decorum from his comedians

120mg of codeine down the pudding hole

>>69051347
Yeah

>>69051342
What's wrong with it? Isn't it just battlefield but in Star Wars?

Shan't be opening any prezzies until the entire family is awake

>>69051357
We're your present anon

Watching all the rich kids of instagram post the presents they get while shouting at my mum for being shit

want to die t bh.

>>69051353
fuck off he literally makes a career off the lowest common denominator

>>69051349
got your sister off lmao

ABSOLUTE slutty minx

>>69051357
why are u awake this early i havent been to sleep yet

>>69051371
>*looks at present with fake enthusiastic smile*
'Ahh thank you! That's really nice!'

>>69051397
*heems you*

STILL haven't done my shopping
when does esso open?

hmmm... ah.. yes

suicidal thoughts

hope that jesus wanker is happy

>>69051408
Too exited to see what Santy got me xx

me irl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdtzXeL4KKk

>>69051426
how fucking old are you

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bf just sent me this

>>69051419
You mean the gas station esso?

BBC news is on the tele
you'd swear the UK was 50% nonwhite with the amount of foreigners on it
disgusting tbqh

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Just noticed there's a hidden camera in the light socket where a bulb uses to be in my bedroom ceiling. Don't know how long it's been there for. Fucking traumatised.

Merry Christmas everyone

>>69051425
had a pretty bad bout earlier

almost got the Luger out ngl haha

>>69051446
FOY

>>69051436
Fuck off you jaded cunt

>>69051415
>>69051425
*slams your heads together*

shut up

>>69051447
racist

>>69051436
not old enough to know how to speel excited

>>69051174
hope you die

>>69051436
dry shite

>>69051436
23

Sorry I didn't stay up all night on drugs you fucking degenerate

>>69051463
Alri

*stabs you*

post your haul lads

>two RL shirts
>undies
>book
>money

haha yay :)

Been watching this lad wank for months, think he's found the camera though

>>69051496
which book bruce

>>69051456
DON'T DO THAT :(((((((

>>69051502
that new matthew reilly book desu enjoy reading his stuff in between heavier things

Anticipating

>books
>money
>wine
>fancy toiletries
>mystery gift from the old man
>a clementine hehe

>>69051496
>league

Hahahaha hahahaha

>>69051496
>watch
>clothes
>book
>money

Mum got me The Art of the Deal book I asked for and mum was crying as I opened it

>>69051529
nah RL as in ralph lauren, not rugby league haha

i'm a rugby boy ;)

>>69051517
every day is a struggle lad and it only gets worse and worse

>>69051496
chromecast ultra
churro maker
pjs
money

redpill me on mulled wine

>>69051535
alri DeAndre

want to tell you something lads

im a manlet... but i have a massive willy

but certain drugs make my willy BIGGER :) you should try them

it involves exercise too though

just my present to you

>>69051549
warmed up and spices or something mixed in with it

>>69051549
it's shit

next question?

>>69051560
CHINESE BONER PILLS WORK GREAT "LUNG LEADER" TAKE TWO AND YOU WILL FUCK LIKE GOD ON COCAINE AND VIAGRA ONLY LAMAR ODOM ON ACID AND SHROOMS

>>69051560
pity it doesn't make your height bigger haha

>>69051496
Stars Wars Battlefront/Battlefield 1 and then just loads of deodorants, socks, undies etc.

>>69051560
>tfw 5'6 and built like an Icelandic police officer

Got hormone pills and a handshake of acceptance from my dad this Christmas

>>69051496

not sure, we didn't see the rellies this year because mum got the flu so we just did a roast lunch at home

some of you have gotten up already?
scum

Sister bought me a book of 200 kitten pictures

What's she like

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Merry Christmas Brit!

>>69051580
pity i have a bigger willy than you :')

>>69051114
Yeah that's because Santa is American you thicko

>>69051596
freak

>>69051607
Ask her what her favourite sub'dit is

>>69051615
kanker

>>69051597

got $400 in cash from the mum & chocolates + some more of the exact same chocolates from the sister

they're guylian chocolates btw, my favourite :^)

>>69051614
no chance to use it though little "man"

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Redpill me on this classic image

Jesus lads, have some decency.
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/jul/28/katie-hopkins-euthanasia-vans-old-people-sun

Got a new toothbrush, some Duracell batteries, Dunlop trainers and a Cooplands gift voucher

Lads at Christmas Eve dinner I saw two of my female cousins who I hadn't seen in about 10 years and since then theyve turned into quite the peng tings

>>69051635
me in 40 minutes aha

Got a box of lidl crackers, a 2nd hand PS2 and a £7.50 CEX voucher.

>>69051635
high rollers showing off their name brand cereal.

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>Christmas in summer? That sounds terr--

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>>69051646
>dunlop trainers

If I don't get Flying Free on paperback I'm gonna chin my mum into next week

>>69051678
fuck off billionaire

>>69051633
plenty of opportunities with your sis

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>All I want for Christmas is refuge in Europe

>>69051683
i prefer the cold
its an excuse not to go out, whenever its sunny my parents pester me to go outside

>>69051687
Are sideburns redpilled?

>“Rescue boats? I’d use gunships to stop migrants”.
>Hopkins sparked outrage in April when she described migrants as “cockroaches” and “feral humans”
> “It’s ridiculous to be living in a country where we can put dogs to sleep but not people.”
>Asked for her solution, she said: “Easy. Euthanasia vans – just like ice-cream vans – that would come to your home.”
>“It would all be perfectly charming. They might even have a nice little tune they’d play. I mean this genuinely. I’m super-keen on euthanasia vans."
Absolute madwoman

>Works always has penis inspection day on the first day back of the new year
>Christmas ruined by dread/anxiety

C'est la vie

>>69051700
>brown
>muslim

Off with her head

>>69051721
shes not wrong

no one is up

will start on the champers (cava) then

>>69051731
>tfw you virgin walk up to the penis inspection booth and everyone just knows

>>69051734
No she's not but saying that in a non-anonymous manner is career and social 'cide

>>69051700
That one can stay, her 23 brothers and uncles have to go back though

Got a meeting with Captain Morgan at about 11AM today.

the english are godless heathens

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>>69051721
>>69051734

>>69051763
NONCE

>>69051734
>where we can put dogs to sleep but not people
>We need to accept that just because medical advances mean we can live longer, it’s not necessarily the right thing to do.

>work your entire life
>about the retire
>the euthanasia van rolls up to your house
>neighbors called and reported you were old
>it's playing some gay music
>the lads drag you out of your house and throw you in the back of the van
>someone stabs a needle into your arm and you drift off, gripped by the anxiety that all of your lifes work was for naught
>they dump your lifeless corpse into the nearest dumpster

I mean to be honest with you I do somewhat agree with the sentiment but you should be able to escape a vanning if you're not leeching off the system.

>>69051772
have been in an interview with d e williams for the last 10 hours

>Seamus O'Rorke the Irish terrorist

H O W L I N G

shan't be posting in this thread
(janny, delete this post)

>>69051788
Why do Americans assume everything is sexual? I meant it more like an ornament; it's nice to have nice things around you, regardless of function or lack thereof.

>>69051798
>vanning
Lel'd

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>oneitis invites me on a hike
>along with all her buddies
>me and like ten other guys hiking along
>the rest of them are pretty familiar with each other and seem like runts
>get to the end of the trek and catch something to eat
>we're all sitting in a group facing inwards
>guy opposite me says "so anon, what are your favourite subreddits?"
>everyone turns to look at me, expectantly

poo arse farts haha

ffs euthanasia van i ordered didnt show up today lads

>>69051840
Their workflow is pretty backed up, can't blame em. Things'll get better with time la.

>>69051819
it's his day off

>>69051840
>tfw they don't cover my area
fuck sake

>>69051837
wot did you say?.

>need to be up and dressed for church with the senpai
>have a massive boner
>too risky to leave my bed because there are 8 other people in the house

HELP LADS WHAT DO

>>69051798
I thought she meant it should be legal given the choice
i know some people who had a lot of pain with terminal cancer and maybe an option to end it would be good

>>69051837
what happened next?

>>69051873
imagine your nan getting plowed from behind by a big black cock lad

>>69051873
Quick jesuswank, then you can drop a 20 note in the collection like it's no big deal to apologise

>all of a sudden your friends just abandon you and leave you with like 10 rugby players, uh oh!
>my knickers fell off and I fell on a penis, or 10!
>and one went in my mouth
>and one went in my bum
>then two went in my mouth!

>neighbour's been pissing me off
>call up the Euthanasia van and say I'd like to be euthanized, give them his address and tell them I have dementia
>he starts arguing with them that he didn't order a euthanasia van
>they put him down anyways
That'll teach him.

>>69051883
>should be legal given the choice
Nah, the only takeaway from that article is she wants roving deathsquads that drag the old fucks out of their house and gun them down in the streets until the gutters overflow with their putrid, decaying blood. You can't make this shit up.

>>69051262
You know what to do.

>>69051890
not made of money m8

>>69051883
i have cancer but i dont complain about the pain so my family doesn't worry or think i suffered when i die

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>>69051837
>1 girl and her 11 beta orbiters hiking in the woods

>>69051837
>/r/coontown

>>69051917
You just jizzed in a sock on Jesus' birthday, you owe him a nice present now

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if Jesus wants me to be happy he can make this girl my gf x

>>69051872
>>69051884
I think I just said 'Oh I don't browse Reddit', but my memory is fuzzy

>>69051927
Mountains thank you

does HD look shit on 4K tvs or alri?

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I hope you all have a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

>>69051450
Thats just GCHQ looking out for you lad :')

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>>69051947

>>69051535
I play Scrum Half for my Uni. Wish Rugby were bigger in the United States senpai.

>>69051837
>>69051927
the image of this is fucking hilarious

>>69051965
t. RCMP cyber crimes division

>>69051947
A lot of sorrow in those eyes

>>69051964
its not res thats the issue, its size

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>>69051947

>>69051947
she could pass for late 30s

>>69051496
anime bodypillow cause I'm a nonce

>>69051983
>>69052009
>>69052013

What are you lot on about she's absolutely buff

>>69052006
is 55 too big? most seem to be 55

sort have wished I believed in god

>>69051837
>/r/altright

merry runtmas, runts
ahahahaha

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>tfw too smart to go to uni

>>69052070
cheers la xx

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>going to mass
stop this

Poo'd underneath the Christmas tree

Varg posting was never funny

>>69052083
catholicism is basically pagan anyway

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merry christmas pawns

mum got me a cap
dno why i haven't worn one since year 6

I'm doing an alt-right Christmas this year that means I topped the tree with a Make America Great Again hat and got everyone copies of The Art Of The Deal

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>tfw not arrogant enough to become a uni student

>>69052119
>art of the deal
bluepilled faggot
I bought my entire family the turner diaries

>>69052119
Merry Trumpmas anon

>>69051983
>dat 9/11 Imminent Disaster guy meme

ah the good old days

>>69051984
i played blindside flanker all through school haha got asked to play for a m8s team so might throw the jersey back on

if rugby was big in the states, it'd be dominated by black super humans like nfl desu

trump? more like trunt

do all sports themed books have large print?

>>69052119
Are Tones called Trump a spiv because of that book 2bh
Can't imagine it's very good

or conversely t'runt

"48 Laws of Power" straight down the neuron combobulator

got a VERY sharp pain in my prostate

this is nothing to worry about right?

>>69051984
would love to see some of those RBs and TEs play rugby

>>69052177
Sorry mate, might have been a bit rough last night x

>>69052119
if everyone is doing art of the deal then no one is doing art of the deal

>>69052137
Cheers la' x

might do an xmas wank

been neet for 5 and a half years

I play Scrotum Half for my Uni. Wish Rugby lads were bigger in the United States senpai.

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" straight down the brain cell stifenator

>Crime shows that talk about some wound but never show it
Shan't be watching any more episodes of this

>>69052200
(It's just like a regular wank except it's on xmas)

>>69052191

im not gay :P

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ancient gimmick coming through lads

this is not only my favourite christmas song, its also my favourite song in general

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tt6Ot_WEHI

bit embarrassed to say this but i never learned how to do multiplication or division in my head lads, and i'm not very good at subtraction either.

Just finished reading The Prince

Love you lads

>>69052247
same except instead of never learning how to do whatever you said, i've never had sex

>>69052243
*downvotes*

>>69051174
Bag of cement, etc.

>do a google image search on a picture of a girl
>google keyword is 'beauty'

Well shit

>>69052270
>>69052247
all me

okay google, play christmas music

>>69051174

> can't handle a bit of beer

alri grandpa

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>>69050595

>>69051678
Haha cex (like sex lol)

>>69052322
don't ever (You) me again without a relevant response

>>69052243
All I want is a black American gf to step on my bollocks every morning to wake me up

/brit/ was good once though I doubt you wankers would know anything about that.

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>>69052369

>>69052346
Isn't that Irish lad suppose to be the best UFCers in the world? Looks like he is getting bullied there.

>>69052376

g. post

>>69052357
hi m8

I only got one present and it was from my mum and it was a Jamaican man and you lit incense and put it inside and the smoke came out his nose

fucking stupid and I shall be throwing it away

what should I buy myself as a present lads
feel like cheering myself up

is there any such thing as a powerLESS typhoon/hurricane/earthquake?

Need to do a sleep

If i wake up at 4pm (im neetrunt) then mummy will NOT be pleased

>>69052398
Reporting you to Santa for thinking about throwing away a present ya mum gave you

theres some one on the bbc with ony one arm

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>>69052380

>>69052380
there cant be a best UFCer because UFCing requires no skill

the fist one to sit on their opponent wins

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>25, no job, no money, no GF, no friends, short and ugly. Tell me again why you think you're qualified to celebrate this festive season with us?

>>69052400
No but there's such thing as a WEAK one you spastic

Honestly thinking about filtering Irish flags, it's all dumb shit and I never see a single good post

got a haircut

>>69052433
show us x

>>69052433
how its xmas?

>>69052400
Really nice post m8, don't listen to that other twat.

I'm from the mean streets of Surrey

fuck this gay holiday

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Conceal your intentions. Always say less than necessary.

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>>69052479
>tfw too smart to care what others think

>>69052487
>too smart

fucked it

>>69052428
easy there Skippy

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Hnnng

>>69052487
How intelligent are you?

>>69052517
do it lad
germanics are all autistic retards though so be ready for that

https://youtu.be/8Xyjk4sDxnI
haha mornin' lads

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>>69052487

> too

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> when he's a fucking white male

>>69052538
Been reading enough Irish posts to prepare myself for that

perhaps Christmas isn't the most ideal day to be listening to Black Star

>>69052574
aussies are just more crass irish

what happened to old zealand?

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Ah yes

>>69052592
Got shook

>>69052592
Do NOT appreciate intentionally stupid posts like this

>>69052592
Nothing, it's still where it's always been.

Merry Xmas, cunts.

absolutely off my chops

>>69052686
ta' love

it's literally 9am on Boxing Day in Australia lads

went out with the lads last night, saw all of my brother's mates out(i.e they clearly didn't invite him)

Should I tell him lads?

VERY excited to open my gifts, mummy and daddy got me a lot of gifts this year!

>wagies got socks and a firm handshake
Lmaoing@urlife

>>69052709
No, why make him feel bad?

>>69052709
yeah im sure it'll make his christmas

Star Wars Battlefront has been installing for nearly two hours what the actual fuck

pissed as a parrot rn lads

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Christmas haul plus the remainder of the 3 grams I was smashing last night hahaha

>>69052752
hope you die a horrible painful death x

Left arm sometimes feels like the veins in my arms are being pinched

Is highly uncomfortable

Don't know what this ailment is

>no harley davidson shaped present in the living room
christmas is dead to me

>>69052752
fuck off billionare
what gpu you have?

>>69052773
FOY

>>69052773
Reckon theres not a single harley in Britain

>>69052789
BUT I ASKED FOR ONE

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Shot I forgot the graphics card. Honestly I'm absolutely ducked up

hmm yes, still the only one up

stupid lazy alcoholic family

>>69052725
>>69052733
Wouldn't you want to know in that situation? Like kinda telling your mate his GF is cheating on her

really hope my relatives just got me vouchers and not some clothing items I'm not going to wear ever

I'LL BUY MY OWN FUCKING CLOTHES AAAAARRGGHHHH

>>69052752

is that ice?

>>69052810
>>69052810
>>69052810
>>69052810

>>69052799
>amd gpu
congratulations, you cucked yourself