/brit/ Christmas Eve edition

going to perform a poo in my toilet later tonight

sitting on my bed away from the family because they were doing my n*t in
might go sleep

Drinking beer, eating maltesers, playing War Thunder and wishing my friends had not got married and had kids so I could still have a social life.

waiting for the train so I can go see my parents for christmas

>>69037546
A sweetie for you if you wipe your botty this time.

>>69037626
not making any promises

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YOU ARE FINIIISSSSHHHHEEEEEDDD

almost poo'd during squats

You are now thinking about that girl you regret not asking out

>>69037662
https://twitter.com/br_uk/status/812735761325887488

Irish fights

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Asuka.

>>69037522
>What are you lads doing right now?
Shitposting and trying not to think about that pleasant moan my sister made when I drunkenly squeezed her boob at my dad's 60th last week but I was too chicken-shit to follow up with a demand for sex

>>69037707
how does high wage high welfare and low wage low welfare happen

Just tried to drink whisky

It's fucking disgusting, why do people let on to enjoy it? It just burns with ever sip

>>69037731
pics of sis

drinking coffee

feliz navidad
feliz navidad
feliz navidad
prospero hon quon bi bon di don

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>when the loneliness hits

>>69037522
Drinking port, and thinking about just getting an early night.

>>69037522

Watching star trek tng

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>>69037662
>>69037662
sharting at this post

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>>69037775
It burns so goooood

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>>69037777

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Swear to god there's someone on the roof

Is it him?

>>69037777
Quads demand it.

>>69037707
WAKEY ON THE MAP

last night i was in the trap counting stacks but i didn't see you there

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>>69037777
second from right

wish I had my UK flag so I could shitpost without standing out

>>69037707
>red
>high paki population

think im onto something lads

might take the train from london to istanbul

>>69037822
>nigger
lost all interest

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>>69037793

>>69037775
whisky is shite, try whisj

just did a wank

>>69037822
ID?

>>69037775

child or faggot

>>69037839
DELTE

watching how the grinch stole christmas (im the grinch)

>>69037823
father christmas isn't real mate

>>69037775
Try rum.

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>>69037840
>tfw I'm posting with Skrillex's brother

>>69037823
Does the illusion of Father Christmas even exist now that brats can simply find the answer on the web?

can't wank because sleeping at parent's house lads

suffering

I used to call myself bugzy malone as a gimmick

>>69037775
It's an acquired taste, I like brandy tho

>>69037726
Janny HATES anime

>>69037880
I'm 21

I want to like it, just find it hard to

I don't like wine either and don't particularly enjoy beer

Maybe I just don't like alcohol, but I like being drunk

>>69037846
Explain London, Oxford and Slough

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Lads, which of the study drugs is the best? Student runt here.

About half my friends take Ritalin, other half take Adderall, but I've also heard of Modafinil being top.

Is there any difference? And what are the costs per pill if any druggos know?

lads when it's 00:00 gmt on january first i am going to post "2017 more like 20 17 year olds on my willy lmao"

hope everyone will be there

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>>69037905
Rubbed one out in the shower this morning

>didn't get the gf a present

we'll see how this goes then lads hehe...

i'm ruined

>>69037915
brandy is top tier mate

>>69037899
Kids are thick

They know Christmas = presents, but most still believe in Father Christmas to at least Year 5

>>69037943
gotta be the 'daffy lad

>>69037707
>tfw exeter

goddamit who else /lightgreen/ here

>>69037943
>taking study drugs

Literal runt tier behaviour.

>>69037915
>>69037957
good lads
brandy is the patricians spirit

>>69037923
he also hates kpop and leafs(don't we all)

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>>69037726
Nico

>>69037955
good luck

>>69037943
modafinil is easiest to get hold of
you're not getting adderall in the UK, you'll have to bomb small amounts of speed
ritalin is probably decent too

modafinil doesn't have a drug type high to it but works really well

>>69037958
Were you one of those edgy spoilsports that used to ruin to for people?

can't imagine ever committing a crime in the US lads

seems even the slightest offense there will land you 50 years in a private prison cell with some 7ft Jamal with a permanent boner

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>>69037522

Having a solo sesh and listening to russian rave music, having fun if im being honest

>>69037957
>>69037984
Very nice posts.

>>69037996
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmUKkBRkTxM

>>69038026
sad case loser harhar

Just ate a full bag of haribos, i feel like a fat cunt lads

>>69037943
get whatever you can get, and if you can get any, get the cheapest

they all do the same thing

>>69038026
haha mental wanking to anything?

>>69038026
what's on the table lad

>>69037908
that nigga ded?

>>69038014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItAzJD0o9NQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9WClv4U5B8

>>69038049
Means your still lucid.

>>69038014
only if you're black

>>69038014
my dad went to prison a couple times for dui(s) and he said its not that bad

>>69037662
the fuck is with the autistics marching in step at the end?

>>69038013
No, I (weirdly in hindsight) expected very expensive presents from my friends then got in a huff and went and played footie with the cool kids wen they gave me shit a kid and their working-class parents would buy for their kid's school friend

family are downstairs doing festive shit and i'm up here in my room doing the usual

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>>69038040

m8 im enjoying myself, really dont care what you think

>>69037707
BLACKPOOL MENTIONED

>>69037522
Not much. Browsing a bit of 4chan (>tfw Yuro /sp/ is ded) and listening to music. Will go to bed later to watch some Seinfeld.

You?

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>be me at work
>Hungarian girl sends me documents to check
>passport, references, university diploma, British citizen application papers
>she's a qt. Pretty, intelligent, polite, good-natured
>she send thanks and wishes me a merry Christmas with a X

I will never meet her.

>>69037710
thanks :(

So tried the whisky even with coke and it still tastes like shit

Fuck this

>>69038089
Been drinking?

>>69038110
track her down

>>69037943
micro-dosing amphetamine sulphate (speed).

brother spends fucking ages in the fucking bath

they say lonely people spend more time in the bath because it gives them a sort of warmth that they don't have in their lifes that they would have from female relationships

and that sad cunt has been with fewer women than me lol

>>69037940
enough whites to balance it out mate

Is it legal to leave your three children in a hotel room in Portugal while you go and have dinner in a restaurant 150ft away?

>>69038113
What whiskey senpai?

i believed in father christmas until the end of year 7
embarassing

>>69038159
Nice idea lad, I'm smelling the profits already

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i sucked his dick in the closet, you know what i'm saying i sucked his dick, i had his pants down he helpless, you know what i'm saying he helpless, his dick his dick hard, i'm sucking on it right

>>69038159
yeah, what could go wrong? ;^)

>>69038113
do a dark rum and dr pepper instead m8 swear down

500mg of paracetamol straight up the jacksie lads x

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GOAT

post rolling machines

>>69038113
what's the whisky/coke ratio?

>>69038146
You clearly don't know what the fuck you are talking about, Rasheed

>>69038038
Come here you fucking twat

>>69038119
Now, yeah

When I was 10 and expected Playstation games from the Chinese kid who had the same birthday as me, not so much

are those cheap rolling machines you get from a pound shop any good?

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She's never coming back lads

>>69038113
whisky and coke doesn't work though

>>69038207
Right fucking now.

The Watermelon speaks only truths.

Is it legal to throw your dead child in the sea in Portugal after you accidentally kill her with sleeping pills?

>>69038192
will he fight again?
a true champion of the people

>>69037958
>but most still believe in Father Christmas to at least Year 5

Lel I did

Really just because I changed my list for Santa on Christmas eve one year and got the present that I changed it to (some Rugrats thing), that made me believe for years

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Really hope all you lads have a pic related this year

>>69038220
>falling in love with a girl
HOWLING at this UTTER MUG

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hmm what did the director mean by this

yeah i wear a 32x32 what about you

Lad drinking whisky? try making a hot toddy and see if you like it, you can kind of experiment with it too.

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>>69038196

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Thinking about how insanely happy and excited I used to be as a child at this time of year and knowing I will never again know even 2% of that joy.

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>>69038225
I'm going to beat your ass you little shit

who /coke/ here?

the McCann's have done a great job hiding the body

serial killers should take note from them

>>69038235
He'll come back and smash Anthony Joshua twice and then retire again

>>69037982

I like how they were both billed as 5'9"and McGregor has about 2 to 3 inches on him

>>69038181
yeah cos I'm gonna get that at this time on Christmas eve

>>69038224
what does then? I've got 7up, fanta and fanta lemon

>>69038142
when i was in school i showed so long the tank would run out of water

ended up breaking the shower

>>69038271
You might suffer serious brain damage following a suicide attempt anon

I bet potential future you with a nail sticking out of his skull fucking loves Christmas

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>>69038196

>>69038212
nah, raw is the only rolling machine to get, it's 4 quid
>>69038264
ummm no sweetie x

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>>69038271
It's crushing me.

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>>69038271

>>69038271
>tfw start thinking about how much I miss childhood and then I remember that I fucking hated it

>>69038203
2coke1whisky

>>69038162
Jameson

>>69038297
idunno i don't like whisky haha

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>>69038273
I am the Chess Master I can play 10000 games on at 1000 levels at any one time, see if you can stop me kiddo.

>>69038297
fanta lemon

>>69038257
forgot the name of the director desu, what's he called again?

>>69038297
i don't know much about whisky but i imagine fruity shit certainly doesn't

not poasting my arse

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>>69037662
positively reeling at this one

>>69038330
add a drop of water to it

>>69038330
That's good whiskey lad

Do what anon said and make a toddy or an Irish coffee

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gf just decided she's going to her parents for xmas instead of mine at the last minute

>>69038159
portugal is a really safe country in fairness

>>69038338
i've never actually read this. you think it's real?

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>>69038354
Dan "If her age is on the clock, it's time for the cock" Schneider

>>69038315
Ummm yes babe

>>69038330
more coke less whisky

>>69038381
I'm so sorry anon, you're getting cucked.

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Fuck, a huntsman spider just crawled under my desk

feel like david beckham back in 96 after scoring 17 goals

what you lads expecting for chrimbo?

ill be getting the usual chocolate + money + deoderant. couldnt ask for more desu

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asked for this tights gf from santa lads, can't wait until she arrives.

>>69038390
>american """""culture"""""

>>69038386
Sure kiddo.

>>69038297
i wasn't saying immediately do it now you spacker

just some general advice for the future

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>>69038403
STRAYA

>>69038416
predicting at least 3 lynx shower packs

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Post your rolls lads

>>69038402
Only in your toilet of a mind. Btw I'll be joining her later in the evening.

let's be honest no one will ever top bugzy malone's first fire in the booth

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STAY AWAY

>>69038386
RANCID SWINE

need to find somewhere to hide my drugs in my room at my parent's for a week lads

>>69038416
how much money

>>69038381
she's my gf now

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>>69038330
>Jameson

>>69038490
why did you bring your drugs

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>>69038418
Looking forwards to getting my daddy issues gf, hope yours is nice.

>>69038403

rip

>>69038271
Welcome to me 10 years ago

>>69038338
me on the left

Do you consider yourself a man? I think you're only a man when a stranger refers to you as one. I'm 25 but I don't think that's happened

>>69038506
new year's eve lad

>>69038490
how about your anus?

lads why do jews want to destroy western civilization? what do they hope to get out of it?

>>69038497
probably about £100-150 or so

penis is fully erect

>>69038014
I know a guy who committed a crime there and got caught so he just flew home before the court day, the madman

imagine facebook live streaming yourself wanking by accident

wish I smoked

why do finns hate burgers so much

>>69038534
been keeping them on my person so far but can't do that whilst I sleep obviously

>>69038390

What the fuck. Context for pouring ketchup on her feet

>>69038538
same then

used to get like £500+ worth of presents, now it's barely anything haha

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he forgot to hide his piss jug

Library/bookstore ASMR roleplays annoy me because girls have such pleb taste in books

>>69038464
This 2bh

>>69038565
they only like like bulk packs of microwaveable patties

>>69038589
Eww

>>69038536
They're prarisites, they don't wat to destroy it, just control it then move on

>>69038513
>not being the daddy issues bf to a well adjusted gf
pleb

>>69038315
>breaking open fags
m8 just go down your local and ask for 10g of amber leaf

cat is absolutely zoinked out on my lap lads

>>69038416
My mum buys me clothes two sizes too small to encourage me to lose weight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S84RLgnz7Rs

Getting drunk and listening to the classics

Did a cheeky

Told my mum I was going to the gfs for Christmas and told the gf I was going to my mum's for Christmas. So now I'm free to just stay at home and smoke grass and drink

>>69038271
Yes this is why Christmas depresses me

>>69038134
I have her address. She lives only about 100 miles away.

>zoinked out
why

>>69038589
This is pretty sad

>>69038629
>>69038618
Pics

>>69038614
Get on quite well with the old man so I can't really apply to this.

POST ANUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how often should i wait between snorting lines lads

AND THE WAITRESS IS PRACTISING POLITICS

ah yes, antisemitism on the eve our JEWISH saviour was born

reckon he'd be disappointed

>>69038647
come up with a better term for "asleep"

>>69038629
you're a sad case tbqh

why do you come here?

if you have friends you can talk to irl then you don't belong here.

>>69038416

specified i want nothing because i hate getting stupid tat that i don't want
i have more money than any of my family members, what's the point in buying me something? i don't like them. it's a farcical ritual.

I am The Businessmen.

>>69038665
jesus was a christian, idiot. explain how he would be able to not be one?

>>69038665
jesus wasn't even born on christmas

>>69038677
I like learn about /brit/ish culture

>>69038677
This.

Normie need to fuck off to Reddit or some shit.

drinking pimps for the first time here. 3 parts pimms 1 part lemonade like it says on the bottle. just had 2 small glasses and don't feel anything and i'm usually a lightweight

am i doing it wrong?

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>>69038653

>>69038677
you belong in /britfeel/ you mong.

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listening to some tunes while shitposting on vee.
anyone got any recommendations? been listening to mostly this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5LW07FTJbI

>>69038673
Had one day off in the last month tbf and just want to chill and not pretend to care and be happy

I'm having a very dry and very uncooperative gassy shit in anticipation of the coming roast.

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>lamb for Christmas dinner
Did NOT agree to this

>>69038728
Cute
He doesn't looked zoinked out

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>>69038654
haha look at this fucking pleb lads

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what'd you get for christmas lads? i bought myself a new bed and a new chair

>>69038708
he was jewish, followed jewish tradition and religion and was a member of the house of david

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>This.

>Normie need to fuck off to Reddit or some shit.

>>69038720
I really dislike Pimms, would appreciate if you don't post about it any more.

>>69038645
she probably doesn't know you or care to know you, don\t do that it's creepy

>>69038665
Haha no

Jesus was an anti Semite lad, was wholly against the Jewish faith.

Gospel of St. John, VIII:44: “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lust of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is not truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar and the father of it. – then answered the Jews – ”

>>69038729
>he's here when he could be on the whatsapp
sad cunt

>>69038729
font

>>69038720

If you let it stand in a jugg with lemonade and fresh chopped apples, oranges, lemons, limes for about 30 mins then you will have god like pimms

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>>69038739
Have some Austrian music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSvW0iGIOhg
Fun to get drunk to

>>69038757
I honestly don't r8 turkey would be chuffed with lamb tomorrow desu

>>69038760
he woke up when i reached over to get my phone

he is zoinked out again now

>>69038762
Nothing
Spending it on my own

>>69038774
what do you like then?

it tastes alri to me

>>69038677
because it's funny and there's some good lads here

>Old mout cider in one hand
>cadbury chocolate in the other
>friends on one screen
>4chan/ runescape on the other

I need more hands, lads...

>>69038757
loooool what the fuck?

>>69038807
What did he get for Xmas?

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>THAIRAD, YOU GO SEE-A RADYBOY AGAIN

>>69038821
You need some taste, you pathetic little shit.

>>69038798
what if it's just apples and oranges, i dont have the rest :(

i suppose i put in the ice after right?

>>69038821
>>friends on one screen

FONT

>>69038809
most things, beer mostly :)

Gonna be drinking all sorts of nice beers tomorrow, Belgians, French ales, Kernel IPAs, then wine with the meal.

Younger sisters boyfriend is here this christmas. Fuck he looks like a boyband member and he is like 6'2.

Fuck :(

>>69038821
very runty post

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>>69038866
different drinks for different needs, so...

Oh fucking hell.

It wasn't dry at all.

I can smell the stench of the sludge on my arse.

Give me strength.

>>69038829
my love and effection

>>69038876
be strong xx

>not exclusively drinking buckfast

Had 4 bottles in the last few days. About it crack a fresh one. It's a number 9

wine is foul, it all tastes like lambrini

inb4 get more expensive wine

i have, it tasted like lambrini

>>69038876
Would rather ahve your sister go out with some ugly manlet?

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how many times do i need to take acid before i finally understand what it's all about

>>69038815
you don't know anybody here, you sad cunt

I'm a fedorafag but I think Jesus was the shit! dude spread a legit message of peace while kicking the merchants out of the temples for doing merchant things

>>69038876
>Fuck he looks like a boyband member
Sounds like a bender

genuinely can't remember the last time i had solid, dry stool

>>69038876
post pics of sister

i could beat most jews in a fight

>>69038831
giggled x

got some johnnie walker blue in

doing a sad

clambered into bed lads

>not liking whiskey
Imagine your gf offering you some Bushmills and you turn round and say "n-no sorry babe it burns my mouth"

Runt

>>69038802
based
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVdtcUberVw

>>69038968
complain to the barman to get better ones

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>>69037955
Just nip down the spar and get those cheap flowers and a pack of donuts at the front

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>>69038599
>Library/bookstore ASMR roleplays annoy me because girls have such pleb taste in books

>>69038943
Haha nope I'm the lad who wants to join the priesthood and quite often finds god at around 11 on a weekday

I've found god lads

>>69038923

>not being at least 6'5" and built like prop forward

Would stare that runt down the minute he came in the door

>>69038978
billionaire

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>>69038932

MFW i used to drink sweaty down the park on a friday night in my rockports and berghaus with the lads

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who here /life falling apart/

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>>69038968
eat this

>>69038821
runt levels off the chart on this one lads.

>>69038993
told the gf that I don't like drinking so she buys me a coke when we go out

>>69038978
Good stuff

>when you're a complete loser but the gf still likes you

she's too kind

>>69038993
>Bushmills

We're not allowed to drink protestant whisk(e)y in my household

JESUS.... JESUS CHRIST.......... OH MY LORD............... YOU SENT YOUR SON TO SAVE US.......................... OHHH NOOO....

>>69039032
wish i was as big as you

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Never had a qt gf to snuggle with on Christmas Eve and never will.

Do you beleive in the multiple universes theory, whereby everything that can possibly happen does happen in another universe?

you don't know who I am, but I know where you live...

>>69039065
*opens mouth*

>>69037955
say you're going to take her on holiday somewhere

>>69039045
Can't say it's falling since it never took off.

doing a think
spirits are great but fucking hell i just drank about €20 away in about an hour

>Jaw is getting stronger
>Hairline is receding
>Brow ridge is more prominent
>Nose is bigger

Turning into an ugly slav lads.

>>69038944

He seems like a nice lad. Just tall and really good looking and at a good uni doing law.

bit worried no one will like the presents i got them.

no wonder santa drunk himself to oblivion with this stress

>>69038583
>barely anything

And what do you get them?

>>69039065
AND THEY SAY THAT HE LOVED US
FOR US HE LET THEM KILL
LET US HANG HIM ON THE CROSS
'TIL HE DIED ON THAT HILL

>>69039056
literally my situation

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Blizzard gave away 5 loot boxes for Chrissie and I still didn't get the Tracer skin

just remembered I had sex this morning

not sure why I'm feeling so depressed haha

>>69039050
Pathetic
>>69039061
Bushmills is good Irish whiskey you shut your fucking gob

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>>69039003
Good lad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJgeo-HWmZ0

>>69039090
this haha

need a gift idea

>>69039093
No one will want to fuck with you. Both literally and figuratively.

was initially enjoying having the cat on the lap but now he has begun digging he claws into my thighs and bollocks... oh dear

captcha: hillsborough have a safe and fun ride

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>Never had a qt gf to snuggle with on Christmas Eve and never will.

>Do you beleive in the multiple universes theory, whereby everything that can possibly happen does happen in another universe?

i much prefer jack daniels neat, think it tastes disgusting with coke

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Watching this lads

>>69039143
maybe depression is a neurological disorder and can't be solved by alternating material or social circumstances

>>69039136
tf2 is literally more fun

>>69039158
>owning a cat
Rasheed

>>69039147
>Pathetic
yeah, she also pays for dinner and shit

amazing what girls will put up with for a good looking lad

are you supposed to by mother something for christmas or what

>>69038976
Like saying you're the tallest dwarf.

Trying out a new gimmick next thread: conducting Catholic mass for /brit/.

Don't miss it.

>>69038720
Did you add ALL of the ingredients?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_Vw3lNqWvw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bi_V9z6H7Y

The french really liked the Duke Of Marlborough 2bh

>>69039089
spent a week in madrid with her once. don't want to repeat that experience 2bh

don't really like her that much it's just slightly better than being alone

got all my presents in one draw and no idea who's is whos

>>69039094
I'm tall and good looking

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>>6903880
nice recommendation, music is quite nice

>>69038876
>tfw my sisters bf is a really guy who's easy to bully

HAHA

on the train, reading neitzsche

just bought me da a bottle of bushmills actually

>>69039187
you're supposed to buy mother something for Christmas

Friends are inviting me out but I told them I'm my cousins with the family.

Little do they know I'm sat here browsing an anime imageboard and wanking to Russian traps.