/brit/

In the middle of a fantastic wank lads

gonna do an ol' 'cide

>didn't sleep with chav slags while they still existed

I am Groot. Who is that, you ask? Well, let me explain.

>>68891531
ukip are shit and will cease to exist soon

>>68891579
>>68891550
could knock the pair of you out without hesitation

>>68891588
You are shit and will cease to exist soon.
Cunt.

>UK Independence Party

the future of Albion is either Polish or brown

Miss the house parties we used to have in the summer of '10

Sat in circles, talking about a life we didn't know yet

have schizophrenia and think people are following me and the government is tracking me.

what are some things I can do to be safe on the internet and irl.

things like using cash for purchases and things like that

>tfw you want to take a deep breath but cut off just before you finish inhaling
Ah yes, this must be what hell feels like

>>68891606
oh I'm sorry did I strike a nerve?

>>68891531
Glorious things that will never happen.

>>68891624
move to Alice Springs

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Bimbo Life

>>68891655
>afraid of government spying
>moving closer to Pine Gap
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

pip pip cheerio aha im british lads

>>68891658

>>68891597
You could have the native easy. If you are to make me your opponent, your fight will not be an easy one. Both skilled and mighty an armsman be I, well-trained in the art of bloodshed. Be you a worthy foe? Time alone may tell us.

*grabs rock*
WHO WANTS IT???

>>68891661
nobody will expect you if you move so close eh

reverse psychology lad

>>68891624
its not the government its just me

Is violence ever justified?

>>68891723
only against leafs and muslims

>>68891723
yeah

>>68891668
foy

was trying to be funny when I said many brits were in thailand for the dental tourism.

>>68891713
well could you not. thanks la'

>>68891746
WOW... haha easy there laddo you could of killed me

https://www.patreon.com/Katiedoll

>>68891723
Can't overthrow the bourgeois and their oppressive capitalist system without some bullets through some skulls lad

>>68891737
no idea what you're talking about mate
wink wink
>>68891762
most certainly my greatest ally

>>68891723
when its to impress a really hot girl

>>68891774
Ahh yes, the streamlined produce of capitalism which has made me incredibly prosperous, protected, well fed and entertained

Quite the ball and chain

>>68891792
this ahha

*smacks you in the balls*

>>68891783 impressed babe?

>>68891795
yeah but its really boring ad repetitive

>>68891795

not an anti-capitalist message m8

it's anti-industrial capitalism. The industrial revolution was the ultimate act of sacrilege against mankind by the eternal anglo

>>68891795
consumerist drone

gimmick idea - convincing yorkshite cunts that newcastle is nice

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Iryna Ivanova

>>68891829
You're fucking dumb lad how would modern capitalism work without mass production

would like to come home to this
http://i.imgur.com/zpuUmLy.jpg

@68891856
oh boy, here we go

>>68891862
RUN RUN RUN RUN

>>68891862
>pierced bellybutton

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I just want an opportunity to go in the kitchen and make some eggs, undisturbed.

Feels like when one batch of humans leaves my house, another batch come in.

>>68891856
watch it lad you're talking to the unabomber

>>68891818
yes but don't say it too loud others might hear it

>>68891862
WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSE

>>68891871
what's wrong with that? its not like some pleb tat.

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>tfw hungover after 3 beers

It really is true what they say: hangovers get worse as you get older. The sad part is I'm only 27. How bad is it gonna be when I'm 57?

Bring
Back
The Mustache
!!!!

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>>68891856

where did I say anything about modern capitalism you frog fuckhead

Capitalism doesn't equal industrial capitalism. markets existed before the industrial revolution

>>68891819
>>68891829
>>68891830
And here come the public sector card carriers, watch them scurry around looking for a bite to eat, no doubt it will come yet again at the expense of your tax hmmm yes very good yes yes

>>68891862
only withing marriage 2bh

>>68891856
Capitalism is just private ownership of the means of production. Production can take place in any way

>>68891836
Why?

>>68891914
>Capitalism is just private ownership of the means of production.

WRONG

business idea: auction my virginity starting at a high price to give the impression of desirability à la diamonds

>>68891900
Yeah well good luck getting your shitpost machine from a modest craftsman

>>68891914
Commie shit

Cock genuinely aches from that intense masturbate

nice edition. fuck labour. fuck tory sellouts. fuck Sedat

why must commies exist?

>>68891968
give it a rest

It's 2107
What should I have for din dins?

ive never peed inside a girl

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>>68891986

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wake up lads

leave big cities they are cancer

>>68892000
Seen a video of a man peeing into a woman's butthole. Pretty crazy stuff, how are we gonna explain that to extra-terrestrials?

>>68892004

Farage is lovable. i hate modern tories. corbyn is a good guy but i dislike labours and multiculturalism

a coincidince after brexit noone talks about a black 007 anymore? no. you guys shut their mouth. i am in for Albion.

>>68891531
wonderful edition lad

>>68891990

>24 hour clock

absolutely french

>>68891990
nutrient gel

I'm here now lads. How's it foing?

how are pornstar dicks always in that flexible yet big semi-flaccid state

>>68892051
to be fucking honest i still don't get if 12PM is 00:00 or 12:00

>>68892012
>burning forests for farmland
>cutting down other forests for wood for ships and housing

really makes you ponder

just finished season 2 of man in the high castle lads

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>>68892039
Tony Blair was the best prime minister we ever had

with all respect to Elba what is next if you let a black 007 become real?

a paki Merlin? a biopic of Bill Shankly starring Forest Whitetaker? an indian portrayal of Dave Gahan?

they liberal jews already made moneypenny a black and Q a faggot

>>68892012
kys

how do you measure your penis? are you supposed to do it from the anus?

>>68892077
12:00 you melon
the day starts at 00 and goes to 23:59

He's already in me

>>68892119
there'll never be a black bond

that's like having othello be played by a white person

Really bored in work

>>68892056
Where do I get nutrient gel in Woolies? Heading out now anyway. Should I get you anything?

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>Tony Blair was the best prime minister we ever had

>>68892157

i hope mate. i am not racist or bigot. i like Pet Shop Boys for eg but fuck this politically correctism shit

>>68892143
yes

I was up all night with toothache gf bought me that temporary filling shite hopefully it sorts it out

Who /Incel/ here

who /insane/ here *bounces off the walls* chim chim chirree!!!!! hahahaha ding ding dang dong nong wong bong

>>68892192
i don't know i asked you last time but you didn't answer

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Me and the gf

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hope it becomes real

fass is a good actor too but he is half potato half kraut

>>68892267
but hiddlestone looks like he couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag

>>68892206
stop talking in chinese

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>>68892267

dont want to go to work

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>normie memes
aaahh yesss
creative
innovative
substance

>>68892188
wew i have a 9 inch willy

>>68892313
>for yeast on my dog
don't get this bit

>>68892313
fucking normies

>>68892295

his movies should be tweaked for him. moore looked a suburban white collar but did well with his own portrayal of Bond. i hate seeing craig's humourless manlet bond

Aussie senpai why did Lazeby kill his career. what a dumbie lel

>>68892192
Am I still incel if I rejected the advances of 4 girls because of my cowardice?

wish i was an actor
shame i had to be born in a country that's never made one good movie

>>68892304

that guy would be a better 007 than craig manlet

>>68892335
*climbs /brit/ mountain*
*waits for the moon to line up with the mountain*
*looks at your post*
*lets out a soft yet loud ree*

>>68892333
dont get none of it

it's lit woke af

any good anime this season, lads?

Hello everybody. I am Dr Ying Fu Wip Wang Shong Pang Fang Wang Dang Dong Ning Po Ku.

>>68892354

mad max. animal kingdom. proposition. chopper.

cool movies

>>68892395
yeah mate, got some right here
*opens bin*
*you speculatively look inside*
*slams you in the bin*
*seals it*

runt.

>>68892354
Picnic at Hanging Rock
and peter weir is Australian so Truman Show should count

>>68892416
good post

>>68891579
bet i'm groter x

>>68892354
wish I was a singer
Mariah Carey gets ~£300,000 every December for sitting on her arse

>>68892395
Yeah*sniggers*
S-sHAHAHAHAA
Sei-pffffftahhahaha
SEINFELD HAHAHAHAHA
GET IT
AHAHHAHAHA SEINFELD ISN'T ANIME HAHAHAHAHA

>>68892434

wish i was a football player. i would be a legend of Notts County

>>68892444
love what youve done here

>this is how londoners speak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwD0mftYdxQ

Is true that 87℅ of british people are muslims? I saw it on youtube.

>>68892434
no way fuck touring
>>68892459
>15 year career at best

DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA

>>68892472
glad i dont live near london

>UKIP's logo looks like some kind of £1 shop
>UKIP's voters shop at £1 shops

is are nige a genius or what?

>>68892486
>~£300,000 a year for one Christmas song you don't even have to perform any more
>still touring
fuck it indeed

>>68892510
yes

Correction: I am actually Dr Ying Fu Yip Wang Shong Pang Fang Wang Dang Dong Ning Po Ku, not Dr Ying Fu Wip Wang Shong Pang Fang Wang Dang Dong Ning Po Ku.

>>68892486

but think of it. you only have a match a week. in acting you sometimes work for months for 3-4 scenes in a mountainside chilly shithole and your career can easily be dead

>>68892530
Alri Spike Milligan

morning
did you lads see that explosion at some mexican firework factory? madting

>68892530
Teenager mentality right here. This is why we need age restrictions on the 'chon.

This is just cringeworthy

>>68892530
what do you recommend lad

going to have a chinese tonight

>Teenager mentality

Chink who works in corporate (Taiwan) emailed me a happy Christmas

Do I say Merry Christmas back? Doubt they celebrate it tbqh, and they have their meme New Year in Feb or something

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Guess the Spanish region. I'm on train now.

>>68892672
ibiza

>>68892672
basque

>>68892672
portugal

>>68892687

More close than...

>>68892697

But no.

>>68892641
reply with

"never tell me what to do ever again"

>>68892718
Malaga

>>68892672
seville

>>68892672
Manchester

>>68892718
SHAGALUF LAD
SHAGALUF LAD

>>68892672
galicia

>>68892672
catalunya?

>>68892730

Nop.

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Good morning!

my name isnt really Dr Ying Fu Yip Wang Shong Pang Fang Wang Dang Dong Ning Po Ku
im not even chinese
i trolled you all, to hell and back, and you didnt suspect a thing
now thats what i call ding dong merrily on high hahaha

>>68892751
suicide, mania, secret

hmmm

>>68892751
Crush
Fool
Chat

The fuck does that mean

>>68892751
scum
hate
rage
in that order

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>i am not racist or bigot. i like Pet Shop Boys for eg

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It's Mallorca.

>>68892768
nothing

>>68892751
Hate None Resent

>>68892776
nice one guv

>job asks for cover letter
>doesn't even call you if you didn't get the job
needs to be some sort of standards enforced regarding advertising for jobs

>>68892776
Didn't ask.
Don't care.

>>68892751
>crush

it knows about my bollocks haha

>group interview a week ago
>not a peep
slightly frustrating

>>68892854
I've got a crush on your bollocks. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhhhahaahhhahahahaha

>wake up
>still no gf

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Would UKIP like me ?
they seem like well educated and respectful folks

>>68892868
>group interview monday
>didn't even go

>>68892776
do NOT give a single hoot

>>68892883
why

business idea: genocide of the white race

>>68892880
you look like a spanish version of me t b h

>>68892880
No, they are racist ethnic nationalists

>>68892905
jews have already cornered the market

bit slow today lads

>>68892925
jews aren't real

>>68892904
pays less than my current runt job

>>68892925
fuck off antisemite

>>68892872
hahaha crush them senpai

>>68892672
Catalunya. Looks like around the northern western part.

In all seriousness most of Spain looks like shit. The only greenery is in Catalunya.

>>68892961
alri pierre noseberg

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>>68892943
>>68892961

>>68892921
>they are racist
shouldn't affect me
>nationalists
do they hate everyone outside of the UK or just specific European countries? i might go to Ireland instead but I'm not sure whats the best for me

>>68892946
they why'd you apply

why are Bioware games praised

>>68893005
come to sweden, juan. we'll take good care of you (as long as you say youre a syrian refugee, of course).

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>>68892784
>I am nothing
Accurate tbf

*loudly clears throat*
*takes a deep breath in*

willies.

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>>68893035

>>68893025
because they have benders in them

why do people think rupert murdoch is a jew? he's australian. there are no jews in australia.

>>68893036
*loudly clears throat*
*lubricate it with spit*
ahh im ready boys :3

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>>68893058
>no jews here go- i mean friend!

>>68893025
Mass effect 1 and Dragon age origins were good and they've basically just rode off the success and pumped out generic garbage. Once they hit the normie crowd, they became too big to fail.

might buy a steam game for myself as a present. what should i get?

>>68893108
Planet Coaster

>>68893108
Planet Coaster

>>68893108
Planet Coaster is pretty good.

>>68893108
Planet Coaster

>>68893108
Moon Accelerator

>>68893108
Factorio.

>>68893108
jet set radio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3LARpU0In4

ah yes

>>68893112
>>68893125
>>68893152
>>68893158

is this a meme answer or is it actually good?

>>68893161
>>68893168

cheers lads

>>68893191
already got it frenchy

>>68893108
cornetto

>>68893230
it's actually good, spiritual successor to Rollercoaster Tycoon

>too immature and lacking life experience for people my own age
>too physically old for people i could relate too
ah yes

>>68893251
literally me

soon this hell called life will end

>>68893230
eye divine cybermancy then

>>68893251
Act your age, not your shoe size m8

>>68893251
How old are you

What's the point of GB exit if you are still flooded with mudslims and immigrants and goverment force diversity and creation of interracial couples on you?

>>68893290
fuck the toffs
fuck the pakis
and fuck the continentals

>>68893246
>62 dollarydoos
hmm

I hate normies!

REEEEEEE!

>>68893230
>is this a meme answer or is it actually good?
It's actually good, if you like this kind of thing. I'm a big fan of RollerCoaster Tycoon, so I love it. Watch some gameplay videos if you're unsure.
http://www.metacritic.com/game/pc/planet-coaster

>>68893290
To annoy the germs

>>68893290
>what's the point in plugging a hole if there's already water all over the floor?

>>68893290
the brexit voters didn't really think any of this through

they just went >muh sovereignty and ignored everything else

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>>68893251
>tfw 24 and get mistaken for a teenager all the time

they will never know

Sat in a big building in London lads

>>68893287
23

>>68893346
At least you won't have to learn German when they form the Fourth Reich superstate

brits voted brexit yet beg for european passports

>>68893327
>what's the point in plugging the hole when the ship's already underwater?

>>68893360
Wish a big building would sit 3 million tonnes of cold rolled steel on my mangos and turn them to chutney

>>68893320
cheers la'

>>68893368
Kek
You're a year older than me

>>68893372
eh no

everyone's learning english.

>>68892472
>be upsairs on the bus in london going through saaf
>hear two black girls behind me
>look round at some point
>one of those black girls is a little cutie oriental girl, the other one is a posh looking white girl

>London

This is my first time in London and I'm scared :c

AND THAT'S ABOUT THE TIME SHE WALKED AWAY FROM ME
NOBODY LIKES YOU WHEN YOU'RE 23

any post-punk gfs?

>>68892980

It's Mallorca. Center of the island.

>>68893383
Nah they'll survive
If we can survive being flooded with blacks and spics they can survive a few sandmonkeys

>>68893435
post locals

Loads of black people here and everything looks either really modern or really old. Loud as fuck too.

you know what's bullshit? when a pornstar is really hot but only does lesbian porn

i can't get a proper wank out of her unless i can see her getting railed and ideally creampied

>>68893397
..cool?

>>68893411
Why would a union controlled by Germans and Dutch learn English

>>68893486
bit cucked

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>>68893482
I'm inside a building now and nobody else is around. A paki wearing a Christmas jumper just walked past though

>>68893486
Bender

>>68892574
>explosion at a firework factory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNB2PN3zuaI
HOWLING

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You aren't a true /brit/ poster until you've traveled abroad specifically to post under a certain flag for a themed ballbusting post

>>68893510
What is this, a pop quiz on American history?

>>68893533
>>68893535
only girls like lesbian porn

>>68893548
I'm a grill :3

>>68893486
Creampie sure is hot.
I like one vid where the guy just come inside, tell the girl he couldn't pull out because of how good it was and she is like did you come into my pussy with fear.

>>68893548
>he doesn't watch lezdom
pleb

>>68891891
That sounds like a medical thing.

My dad's 50, he can still manage 3 or 4 pints, and he's never been a heavy drinker

>>68893540
It was a shit post as well mate, don't even think it got any (You)s

>>68893548
porn rots the brain

>>68893477
Our white birthrate was, and still is, much higher.
Britain's is what, like 1.3?
Nah, I think it's over for them.

Think I was hacked by the Russians lads. Went and voted for Brexit a few months ago, even though I'm not even a racist. Putin's dastardly tricks are the only explanation.

lads I need help, what sounds best to your ears
When a Woman Ascends the Stairs
or
Cries and Whispers

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>porn rots the brain

subway coffee is shite

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>porn rots the brain

>>68893548
erm how about no

i love lesbian porn i just don't tell /brit/ because they'll call me underage haha

>>68893510
because english is the language of the world
americans speak it
canadians speak it
the chinese are learning it
the indians speak it
australians and kiwis speak it
south africans sorta speak it

it only makes sense that everyone should learn english
and young people in the EU learn it too

>>68893608
Your frog cunt skull being cracked between the kerb and my size 12 Doc martens

Now do one

>>68893608
when a woman ascends the stairs probably because whispers piss me off when I can't understand them and who likes the sound of crying?

>>68893614
>drinking anything other than black coffee
Woman

>>68893610
>>68893622
addicts

>>68893649
subway do black coffees you spastic

and they're shite

>>68893636
Pretty much everyone in the world with a university education speaks it

just got back from the phone shop with a brand new windows phone lads

>>68893650
you know what really rots the brain? video games, tv, and your damn rap music!

kids these days...

>>68893679
you poor thing

>>68893679
my condolences

>>68893571
Nah it got a few the first time I posted it

>>68893679
sincere sympathies

why yes, I do watch another man having sex with a woman I desire and wank

>>68893640
meet me at elephant & castles in 30 minutes you cunt

>watching porn
Just go and have sex instead mate its not hard, just go out and be yourself

>>68893660
>going to subway for a black coffee
Good goy

Just wrote 'Pepe is a frog of peace' on the Guardian comment section and had my comment removed. Sometimes forget that the jannies over there aren't quite as loving and tolerant as the jannies over here.

>>68893749
alri jan jan

I've come to the conclusion that it's not 4chans fault my life is shit, it's my own.

>>68893819
have you tried being yourself?

what happens when you fuck up your degree? job centre?

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neet life is a harsh one at times desu

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Makes me angry the way Aussies are discriminated against in /brit/ threads

>>68893888
thought that was gonna be another russian ambassador meme

>>68893878
the uni puts you on the career blacklist

>food van arrives after not turning up at all yesterday
>it's a different van
>have a chat with the lady about it
>clutch is gone apparently
>75p for a bag of hula hoops
>give her 80
>she says she knows they don't have any 5s, lets me have them for 70 instead
based food van lady

sold an off bag of hula hoops to some runt for 70p

what the fuck is a food van

these hula hoops taste a bit weird tbf lads
hmm

>>68893915
what's a food van lad?

>>68893977
a van that sells food

>>68893977
van with food in it

>>68893987
a food van lad is a lad who drives a food van
today it was a food van lady

>>68893977
>>68893987

At work I pay about £20 a lunch for a lady to drive with a selection of snacks to my work for lunch, then I pick them and she brings a burger or something as well that sh'es made at home.

A food van.

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>>68894014
>£20 a lunch

>he doesnt just take butties into work with him
fuck off billionaire

>>68894035
Well it usually costs a bit more because that's the fee to hire her to drive to my work at lunch, then obviously I have to pay for whatever snacks I buy, .e.g. today I bought the hula hoops and a burger

>>68894045
do both tbf
got the gf's sarnies waiting on the desk but I fancied a cheeky snack for elevensies

This fatty loves his food van, he fucking loves it the fatty!

I fucking love it

>>68894057
what have you got on the sarnies today lad?

*drives a food lorry full of burgers and hula hoops into German Christians*

>>68894086
one with that pre-cooked BBQ chicken from Tesco, one with tuna and salad cream
both with the self-styled "butterhead leafy salad", also from Tesco
on wholegrain seeded buns (from Tesco)

>>68894053
>a bit more
blud don't you think 20£ is already a lot for snacks and a burger

a food van is a proud British tradition and I reckon some of you NEET lads should start one

>>68894134
Well that's just the cotst of hiring her to drive to me work obviously.

My first three hours of work in the morning pays for it though, and then I get the rest of the afternoon's wages tos pend on whatever I want

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http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/welsh-sheep-outnumber-people-three-to-one-in-wales-annual-census-a7484796.html

hmmmmmm

fresh
>>68894192
>>68894192
>>68894192

>>68894113
sounds delish ngl, fancy some myself now but i've only got the plain pre cooked tesco chicken in right now
>butterhead leafy salad
didn't like that look of that desu

personal favourite sarnie of mine is cheese, onion, lettuce and mayo, it's nicer than it sounds

File: 1443813895656.png (23KB, 110x110px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 110x110px

>>68894187
>My first three hours of work in the morning pays for it though
jesus fuck lad
what are you doing

>>68894211
it's alri, bit leafy

yeah nah I can see that being decent, it's got sharp, sweet, soft, all that good stuff
you ever had cheese and marmite?
let me know next thread if you like

>>68893740
I like masturbating better tbqh
Less personal