/brit/

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tessa

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kots

>>68666290
what happened to the tomato sauce lad?

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Oops been posting in the wrong thread. Sorry. x

>>68666323
That's a white 'zza.

>>68666340
>x

P O S T L E G S
O
S
T

L
E
G
S

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Just had a wank to a porn that i feel was made for me to find, god bless those degenerate Japs

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tfw to intelligent to be president

Posting here now

I've been wanting to cheat for a while and spotted my opportunity. Don't judge until you are a 23 year old who got their girlfriend of 6 months pregnant and feel obligated to stay with her, alright?

>>68668291
Stop posting.

Alri

>>68668359
Did you vote for Trump?

>>68667579
it's real... wow...
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/12/clinton-campaign-may-have-been-too-smart-to-win.html

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>tfw Janny is upset

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>tfw no gf

Some lad has fallen of his motorbike outside my house

>>68667579
>>68668406
ha-ha'd loudly

>>68667579
Cant make it up

don't think i wiped properly because i can smell shit

*sprays deodorant on my arse*

all better

http://thetab.com/uk/newcastle/2016/12/15/newcastle-student-dies-excessive-drinking-22889

ah yes

>>68668524

POOEY LINX LAD

just absolutely stacked it on my motor lads haha don't think anyone saw though so I'm good hahaha ow

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Thoughts?

>>68668536
erm no mate i dont stick things up my arse

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>no interesting reddit flaggers on

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the ex gf wore a lot of makeup and it was really disgusting but she was obviously very self conscious about it so i never said anything

it was a big part of the reason i broke up with her though

Top 10 swiped-right names 2016

>Boys
Harry
Jay
Thomas
Leo
Jack
William
Muhammed
Ethan
Archie
Liam

>Girls
Amelia
Holly
Grace
Maisie
Olivia
Millie
Ella
Phoebe
Jade
Mollie

Is your name on there lads and lasses?

some absolutely abysmal posts recently
get it together or i'm out the fucking door

>>68668565
I'm here I'm just staying late at work because I'm playing golf with the workmates in a bit

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grey eyes/brown hair is the most patrician eye/hair colour combination

debate me

>>68668581
cheshire

>>68668570
I usually go by Mo

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wanna fug Melissa Monroe and let her cook me a sainsburys basic meal for 23p a head

>>68668570
>Muhammed

Your country has gone to the dogs

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wahey

>>68668586
Swing and a miss

Wtf is this hard vs soft brexit? I voted for brexit

waiting for that lad who said he had a cracking post lined up for this thread

/gf2016/ is almost over, how did you all do?
I came very close, dated a girl for a month. Granted she was the only girl who I came close with.

>>68668618
you know (((who)))

>>68668618
yeah but do you want it soft or hard

>>68668618
you got cucked. don't feel too bad, the trumptards did it too

>>68668601
>23p a head

crackhead the next street over does that

>>68668606
>Russell
UKIP?!

>>68668618
I get hard brexits if I've had a lot of chinese over the week

I'd fuck Suzanna Reid into next Wednesday fuck

>>68667550
me on the bag surreptitiously being a stick insect

imma imma starbuoey

>>68668653
dont get it

i'm listening to joy division because i'm a wanker

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Birmingham

how did we spell how yanks say bouy again?
boo-eeeee or something

>>68668618
((()))

>>68668586
:/

listening to cali post rock even though i hate cali post rock

>>68668654
BLOODY

RACISTS

>>68668618
soft is single market and free movement
hard is none of that

>>68668637
kissed three rando girls in one night and then met a really nice girl travelling but didnt even kiss her

apart from that naff all

>>68668615
greater london

>>68668584
green/black desu

>>68668687
yeah boo-ee

>>68668712
Geographically closer, think more obscure

>>68668695
how much money do you have saved up chesh

>>68668637
Fwb with a girl for a while but she only used me for sex and didnt want to date. Didn't know that was a thing girls did.

Pulled more than I've ever pulled this year, but all I want is a gf and I'm nowhere close to it. Started working out, maybe being fit will help

>>68668570
it is, but I don't use tinder

top 5 hair colour/eye colour combinations
1. grey eyes/brown hair
2. green eyes/red hair
3. green eyes/black hair
4. blue eyes/red hair
5. grey eyes/black hair

>>68668730
Devon
>>68668738
literally none

>>68668724
I'm a motherfucking starboo-eee haha

>>68668730
worcester
rutland
east anglia

>>68668637
Gf is on an africans safari atm, she'll be back soon though

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>>68668684
ummm sweetie that's a counterfeit x
bet they've got even less canals than Venice

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do americans really still have shoe shine people?

I've seen it in more than 1 tv show

I though they went the way of rag and bone man or the door to door knife sharpener.

>>68668724
fucking ridiculous nation

>>68668769
yeah you do

you werk ffs

>>68668764
>grey eyes

show me one picture of someone with grey eyes

who /nicecar/ here

nothing better than pissing off the neighbours by revving my scooby early in the morning

going for a drive now

>>68668769
More like Divon, also no

>>68668771
no
closer
too vague

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>>68668829
>it's another "someone thinks grey eyes don't exist" episode

>>68668790
>rag and bone man
alri dad

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>wanted to go to the local forest preserve for anonymous gay sex with older men
>closed until March

>>68668764
brown eyes/brown hair

>>68668835
i have a 2014 ford focus

that any good


think the answers no isn't it

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went for a proverbial drive through the hilly part between manchester and sheffield and saw this

>>68668847
i heard my gran talk about them

>>68668823
I have £5 in my bank account right now

Really dislike this edition.

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gf just sent me this

>>68668864
dont get it

yeah i'm a memer
i make memes, upload em, get upvotes. maybe a bit of gold if i get extra autistic.
its just what i do, i like memes

>>68668877
Grim, couldn't live like that

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>>68668780
Thats where I took my ex on our first date

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>>68668790
Only in airports nowadays

Maybe somewhere in those rich parts of New York City

>>68668891
the only part of the uk that has trees and nature

>>68668790
Get your fuckin shine box

>>68668844
Norfolk
>>68668894
I get paid tonight but yeah :c

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>>68668891
england is beautiful sometimes

>>68668877
why

>>68668911
moron

>>68668884
Have fun raising the bastard :^)

>>68668856
cant stand the look of that one unless it's the ST

2010 looks better

>>68668915
And your sack of nickels. It tickles, to see you try to be like Mr. Pickles.

>>68668919
No, little to the left

>>68668908
You don't still have them in public buildings and court houses? that's where I've seen them in shows . makes sense to make the paupers presentable for the judge . should bring it back along with the kitchen knife sharpener man

>>68668921
spent it all

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>yank accents sound terrible

>>68668977
on what

why don't we have drive through coffee places ?

Why does Father Christmas have so many different names?

>>68668967
probably a shit one dont care
>>68668987
all sorts

>>68668997
*spills piping hot coffee on your bollocks*

oops haha

>>68668997
I've seen a drive through Starbucks before and I bet you can get coffee at drive through Krispy Kremes

>>68669011
There was a black santa on the royal variety show this year

>>68669021
Enjoy your £5 mate

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>>68668920
I know

scotland looks better overall, but england is still nice

>>68668926
dont x

>>68669011
dodging the bill collectors

>>68668997
you guys don't?

and people call the uk """""first world"""""

>>68668907
noice, which restaurant?
brindley place is lovely desu

Imagine voting for trump then being told "ok the government will now elect either Cruz or Jeb"

Brexit got SCHLOMOED

>>68668724
Those aren't buoys!

>>68668997
You really want more of America's depressing drive-thru suburbia? Italy has it right...

>>68668979
they're so nasally and shrill

>>68669051
marco pierre white

>>68669035
there is a drive through costa at the braehead shopping park but that's not convenient for home like for anyone. who wants to drive to a retail park for coffee

>>68669037
>3 days a year in which the sky is clear, quick run and take a picture

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>You really want more of America's depressing drive-thru suburbia? Italy has it right...

>>68669052
Mate. They're trying to get the electoral college to elect Hillary anyway.

>>68669067
fuck off billionaire

>>68669061
British slags absolutely loved my southern accent, they said I sounded like a "cowboy" lmao

>>68668566
what rodent is this?

drinking tea with brandy in it

aahhh relaxing

Found an amazing porn video last night. Might watch it AGAIN tonight.

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>chatting with a girl anonymously for weeks
>send her a pic of myself
>conversation literally stops dead

Haha

Killing myself lads

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0z0iuWh3sek&t=0s


Wow....this really made me think

>>68667579
>unironically writing this drivel when trump literally went from being the outsider everybody laughed at to winning

killary's campaign cannot be argued to have been anything other than poorly thought out and terribly executed

>>68669061
been told nothing but nice things about my accent since ive been here
t. south carolinian

>>68669120
think you're a fucking hardman do ya

we'll see about that

>>68669113
southern accents are alri' desu

I have an english exam tomorrow
Any cool idioms I can use to impress my examiner and make up for my blatant lack of knowledge in british and american history?

>>68669021
like what

>>68668618
>soft
basically nothing changes except you don't even get to fucking vote in EU decisions any more
>hard
economy shits itself but you don't have to follow EU regulations and can not have free movement

>>68669083
Care to explain how I'm wrong?

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kiesza

>>68669177
Florida accent is vile

>>68669215
Dr Pavel I'm CIA

Looks like it was a couple of old codgers that knocked him of his bike, They're sat in the police car across the road

>>68669218
>Florida
>Accent

Its a state full of transplants. They have no distinct accent. Its probably more of a midwest one than anything

>>68669236
dont care

>>68669174
not really mate

*sip*

swiping store fronts like kaiba
boxers brown like naila

>Whites are the supreme master race!
>But the Jews control our governments, our media, our banks, our universities and our minds

hmm

>>68669248
haha get fucked mate

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all me

>>68669279
WTF i love SNP now!

Morning lads!
What's on the agenda for today?

I'm here now lads. How's it foing?

why the fuck is sean paul a thing once again?

>>68669279
WTF I love the SNP now

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>>68669299
tessa

>>68669061
at least we have an accent. the British accents sounds like youve been eating wrocks your whole life. it sounds like you got your head and your ass on backwards

not you in particular, just that whole place


oi mate gim muh two pence mayte oi hey hey hey now wut-da-meanun o' all dis here now?

>>68665023

isn't Varg unironically a pagan?

chemtrails gave me HIV

>>68669333
honestly do not care mate, hope you didn't think i'd read that

>>68669198
can't remember everything. spent a lot on alcohol this month, some weed, food, travel, other random bits and bobs plus bills

Need a job. Need to move out.

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want my willy to feel REALLY good

>>68669282
>things no one has ever said


hmm

>>68669349
bloody hell

>>68669205
>be Italian
>step outside mama's house in skin tight leather pants and squeak over to your vespa
>ride through 1 meter wide cobblestone streets to the local cafe
>spend an hour there sipping an espresso
>ride back to mama's in time for dinner
You're just fantasizing about le classy European lifestyle

chris grayling is just terrible

HMRC sent me my annual tax summery which breaks down how much and where my tax was spent. Way down at the very bottom, below Foreign aid, the smallest contribution and last on the list was to the EU budget, at £28 per year.

Bargain for all the rights, protections and economic advantages that come with being part of a large economical and political union.

Oh well.

>>68669333
yeah, that's right! never insult the good ol' US of A!
WOOO YEAH, you tell i'm, brother! you mess with the best, you get the rest! YEW ESS AY YEW ESS AY YEW ES AY

>>68669386
and that is clearly a true, exaggerated tale
get some self awareness

>>68669364
knickers knackers knockers

just shared a car with a non-related human female for 15 minutes

told her i've been drinking cans from tescos at work lunchtime and she was horrified

>>68669349
>weed

degen

makes me angry that anime losers are going to get this and escape even further away from reality

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkcKaNqfykg

>>68669333
shan't

yanks just fuck off

imagine the butthurt from the trumptards if he doesn't get in
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0z0iuWh3sek
they already have half the electors they need. it will be glorious

>>68669442
Are they shitty or what?

>>68669349
I was exactly like this not long ago, note where you're spending your dosh and cut things you won't miss. saving a grand from my last wage without really trying

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>>68669442

i got 5k saved up

might do some travelling

friend wants to go to india but i'm not feeling that at all

>>68669442
Good lad

In no way do you seem like a miserable failure

bit of a weird one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUnMNaczXyE

alri lads

Ever notice how the only thing that differentiates a skiier from a terrorist is a little bit of fabric between the eyes?

Mad that.

>>68669467
it would make your country a bigger joke than it already is

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*does a so-called dab*

>>68669493
kommandopipo?

>>68669484
why would you ever go to india

>>68669205
Ah yes, drive-thrus are despicable! Much rather go to a quiet locally owned cafe that randomly decides what hours it would like to be open, oh and they'll decide how long they want to take to make your order.

Oh on top of that, water is an extra $4 because their tap water is disgusting.

t. someone that lived in two different cities for a total of 3 years.

>>68669448
>how dare you acquire a small bit of happiness in this cold and unforgiving world

Where can I buy a WAG lads?

>>68669442
The last time I was in a car with a non-related human female, I accused the only other male there of acting like a rapist and then all the girls got in the back with me and left him on his own in the front.

going to ping it round monte carlo in the fiesta

>>68669484
get a mortgage instead. travelling can wait.

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>>68669513

>>68669491
don't recognise any of them 2bh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYp38gSzz3U

>>68669442
why on earth would you say that

might as well just tell her you're a depressed loser

i have a friend that tells people this kind of stuff as well like what are you trying to achieve? you think you will get a pity fuck out of this? do you actually want to die alone?

making conversations about how much of a fuck up you are is a sure fire way to make people not like you

>>68669386
As opposed to hauling your big yank bottom out of its crater to have your morning diarrhoea, eat some corn-o's for breakfast and spend all day watching advertisements on TV with 5 minute programme breaks every half hour before nipping out to get the mail from your ridiculous post contraption and getting shot by a gang member, policeman or child?

>>68669519
aha nice post there
unfortunately it doesnt meet my length standards (too long)
sorry, wont be reading

*denies your existence*

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>>68669513

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>>68669467
>why yes, I do allow the theatrics of geriatric hollywood celebrities to influence my views.

>>68669519
Weak argument this

>>68669490

Instead of £3.50 a pint in a pub full of coffin dodgers I'm buying 4 cans for £4 and drinking 2 of those in peace on a bench, then going back to the office fresh as a daisy. I'm winning. Might just bring a hip flask of JD from now on though.

Are there any actual lads in here?

You all seem like massive bellends.

>>68669559
hi dad

shan't be reading any posts made by fruits e.g. kiwis

go on then shag me

fucking dare you big man

>>68669529
>and then all the girls got in the back with me and left him on his own in the front
how seats do you have in the front man

>>68669591
So how did you keep them cold while you were at work?

>>68669592
yes my mate

I'm always up for some of the old bantre as they say in france

waheeeeey

>>68669592
Reporting in

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>>68669592
me
(pic related, its me)

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*does a so-called islamic state*

going to st louis and kansas city next year

>>68669581
Listen, Italy does their local cafes great, and yes they are better than American ones like Starbucks But that doesn't mean there shouldn't be a middle ground.

Drive-thru cafes are perfectly reasonable things to have. Sometimes people don't feel like going inside and waiting 20 minutes for their espresso

>>68669632
Bummer

>>68669467
They make a good point

>>68669636
wow, and this one was too long for me to read as well!

You really need to work on being concise my man

>>68669613
2 seats. One for the driver and one for the passenger. He was driving. The girl in the front seat actively made a point of getting into the back with me and leaving him up there on his own like a chauffeur. He was fucking SEETHING.

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Literally a plotline from The Thick of It

how do I approach the girls in my office during work . want to start hanging out with them desu

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>>68669506

Speaking of joke countries

>be British
>work for 300 years creating the largest empire
>create the modern world
>fight the Nazis because they are "too racist"
>in the process, the whole empire leaves
>turn brown within the next century
>probably will abolish your monarchy as well
>will become slowly irrelevant

>>68669448
>those comments
beyond grim
>>What was more depressing was seeing your uncle alone in his tiny apartment as he pays alimony to his ex-wife who took his house and is banging another dude in it
>No doubt! I've seen that happen to too many of my friends and fellow mechanics and I decided it wasn't for me. It's not all bad though. Nice house on a half acre (mostly paid off), cool truck, decent car, Savings enough to last 10 years and 50% of my after tax income is surplus and generally goes into savings. I may retire in a 2 or 3 years, move to Cambodia and join a permaculture community as their mechanic.

>>68669632
st louis is one of the worst 'large' cities in the US. You'll probably be shot.

KC has the best BBQ in america and google fibre everywhere

>>68669592
i'm an abnormie who pretends to be the opposite

>>68669674
Be hot and funny

Lads. Don't tell anyone but just... you know Essex? Well take the first 2 letters away. And put on "less freak" at the end. LOL

>>68669621

it's time to recognise them as a country and get them round the negotiating table

>>68669636
20 minutes for an espresso? never waited longer than five

>select all images with tea

fucking hell about to check my bank account for the first time in a while oh god

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>>68669685
DELETE THIS!

wouldn't life be better if we didn't have years

if we didn't have to confined a period of events to a confinement of time dictated by a full revolution of our planet around the so-called sun

what if just time was all just one big mess without any set boundaries?

>>68669685
well obviously, women can get laid whenever they like

>>68669614

I bought them cold at lunchtime and brought 2 home with me.

>>68669669
>all the girls
your story is falling apart

68669675
this post displays such an inept understanding of history i won't even give it the pleasure of a (You)

>>68669718
Im talking about in Italy. I lived in Varese and Milan and going and grabbing something from the cafe was rarely ever a quick trip.

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>>68669448
why

>>68669685
Girl I knew used to describe herself as the complete opposite of a virgin and she definitely wanted me.

Why do they say this? Do they think it's attractive?

>>68669674

in the kitchen at lunch ofc

>>68669529
i believe every word of this story

>>68669756
It can be attractive if you're just looking for a shag. It immediately lets you know that their ready to fuc

>>68669364
whos this la

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>>68669554

>>68669739
I see the confusion now. My wording made it sound like there were multiple girls in the front that climbed in the back with me. The context that you were missing was that we all got out of the car to get food and then when we got back in "All of the girls got in the back with me".

Felt I wouldn't need to explain that, since it's so obvious, but sure.

>>68669782
I appreciate your trust and belief in me.

reckon the UK will get a good deal with the EU with brexit and things will go better than planned

>>68669735
Did you offer her one in the car?

https://twitter.com/ChelseaFindom97/status/809457785243058176

she is back lads

couldn't miss out on all those potential paypigs

goin to a party tomorrow lads, need help getting laid.

pls halp ;_;

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Still love Paris, no matter what the rorkes say.

And yes, I've been there more than once

>>68669812
are scots genetically unintelligent? or is it just a cultural thing?

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>>68669803

some bint off instagram forgot her name

>>68669749
Not everything has to be quick. What's wrong with taking the time to enjoy the drink?

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>it's a stalk average girls on twitters episode

I now identify as a woman please refer to me as she/her from now on.

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>>68669448
>You wanna make a surprise to your waifu hologram by coming home early and you catch her cheating on you

>>68669856
paris is detroit with a lot of makeup

>>68669812

poor Masel :(

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>he's here

>>68669856
feel like i kinda know what the people were on about who said it looked ugly and hated it when it was just made

want to do a cummy in a fanny

>>68669812
Is this how people wright 'English' in scotland? Are there full essays of people talking like this mong?

>>68669874
princess chelsea isn't an average girl you cunt

she is spectacular

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=034TIGOU0QA

>when he says "Rama"

Caffe Nero > McDonalds (trust me on this) > Costa > John lewis Cafe > Starbucks > pret a manger


goat - au bon pain (please build one here)

>>68669861
don't expect yanks to understand anything outside of big trucks and bootcut jeans

>>68669856
this image is old, it literally has a main road right beneath it now

70% of old paris has been demolished toplel

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>>68669898
>Is this how people wright 'English' in scotland? Are there full essays of people talking like this mong?

>wright

grandma gave me £5k to put in a help to buy ISA and i've spent £1.5k of it

dont even know what on, literally on bills and food and activities

>>68669874
oh I'm sorry would you prefer the reece sanders show?

more bullying of timothy james byrne?

what do YOU want?

arse cheeks are so tight that no fart can escape their unrelenting clasp

kind of terrifying how suddenly and easily life can end

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how much have you sent princess chelsea today lads?

50 quid here just got my bennies

>>68669812
Aye alright hen

>>68669909
>>68669936
you dim wankers you gain nothing from responding

>>68669930
I've seen you say this, but its only a few years old. How long ago did they demolish what you're saying?

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>>68669393
he was on the right side, I give him that much.

>>68669846
>go to parties fairly often
>havent had sex in 4 years

lmao!

>>68669922
>no greggs
shit list

>>68669933
baited

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Check my digits, you homos.

>>68669950
Nothing (£0)

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leftists are blaming the rejection of globalism on evil white greedy capitalists

hmmm do I top the leccy card up or send Chelsea some money

>>68667579
Pretty sure what they're talking about is the fact that Clinton's speeches were at a reading level far above Trumps.

Speaking in a way 3rd graders can understand is more appealing to the working class.

bit weird all this

>you will never be a girl and abuse mentally ill people for free money

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PAN HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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>>68669969
this is it today haahaha

>paris

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>>68669985

>>68669909
literally who?

>>68669936
you ask a good question...

>>68669922
Yeah McDonald's is OK if you're taking away but the ambience is shite

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How did this even reach the shop?

Unbelievable.

sara if you're reading this i watch that video of you 20 times a day and wank to you every evening

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https://twitter.com/ObamaMalik/status/809110869032529921

>>68670050

Sad!

>>68670008
why didn't she know that if she's so smart?

Imagine kissing a cute girl on the lips and she enjoys it

>>68670050
Jeez

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>>68669950
christ this fucking girl

hoping i meet her at a rave and seduce her with my equally strong jaw/nose and then i can brag on /brit/ 4ever

pic related my fuckin dick

>>68670080
did it

Just filtered america

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoOva1hNPdw

reckon aghan dan has shagged soph?

>>68670050
BLOODY

SEXIST

>>68669406
cuck. that could have bought you one tesco meal deal in 2018

good lad

>>68670091
>cute
>girl
>she enjoys it
Think you missed those parts lad.

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>>68670080
last time i did that was 3 years ago

haha

then she told me she had a bf tho so i got up and left

>>68670035
wow that is disgusting. Do you know when this happened? I was there like 10 years ago and don't remember it looking like this

xmas jumper day at work tomorrow
anyone else?

>>68670126
how can someone have so many good features and still be ugly?

remember that time you got rejected by that girl

haha

>>68670035
hahahahahaha

>frogs

>>68670097
Shut the fuck up you little autistic bellend

Sick of hearing about the 'Blackpool grime scene', utter fucking shite

Pan Head @PanHead2222 6m6 minutes ago
@ChelseaFindom97 I'm so proud of you, darling.

>>68670124
i did do that though