/brit/

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Only countries that weren't conquered by Normans can post in this thread.

shit edition 2bh

BURY
HIS
UNCLE
lads

think I might kms lads

If you've ever been on a skiing holiday you're a posh bender who probably wanked lads off in the showers at your all boys boarding school

Business idea: use /pol/ to dispense my pyramid schemes

>>68665016
just hit yourself and be weights

>>68665034
Jealous

>>68665012
Didn't you get conquered by those who got conquered by normans?

Russia is essentially just a slavic rasheed country

They hate freedom and western culture just as much as rasheed

cheeky cheeky

lads OI OI

wahey lads lads

banter OI OI cheeky

>>68664998

eat shit nerd you know nothing

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ah fugg a couple seconds late
>>68665023

>>68665057
>french education

>>68665034
>being this irreducibly poor
dreadful

i had a dream the other day that i was fucking myself from behind. is that gay ?

>>68665059
Ahh yes they hate freedom so much they have like 10% income tax whereas here if you earn enough the government take about half your earnings to give to rasheed and Jamal

>>68665093
YANKED.com

>>68665034
I went on one with my school when i was 14 but then the recession happened and my family couldn't afford to send my brother

>>68665073
tired meme anyway, get new ideas.

>>68665086
I haven't watched Braveheart to the end, sorry. Never been fond of male skirts either.

does a prossie count as losing your virginity
y/n

If you're a fan of rugby union or cricket you've probably swallowed at least one pint of male cum in your life

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>>68665121
fuck off christfag

>>68665096
i can literally fuck myself, no word of a lie

if you want to know more, just ask

>>68665012
hello

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>>68665096
no, merely autophilic.
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/autophilia

>>68665144
n

>>68665155
bender

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIfAkOBMf5A&list=RDTIfAkOBMf5A

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think i'll make it lads?

>>68665100
Putin has been dismantling opposition press for the last decade. Russia is very authoritarian compared to the West.

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Why do people obsesses over this failed nation of scrawny neckbeards?

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>>68665132
>Never been fond of male skirts either.
Makes it easier to shag your ladies.

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>playing eu4
>20 years in
>have had 2 regencies already
fuck this shit, I just wanted to unite all of Ireland under one banner

>>68665155

ok ill bite. how?

>>68665034
absolutely runtish post, try being not poor love x

>>68665208
they're gay and like men in shorts

>>68665191
sure, just do SS

>>68665034

not even that expensive as long as your not stopping at 4/5 star hotels or going japan/canada

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cute british girls(boys) getting the americock

>>68665223
i'm not baiting or anything

i'm a bit bent and do anal masturbation a lot, one time i got curious as to whether i could get my knob inside myself so i tried it and it was incredibly easy

you have to keep between a semi and hard, closer to semi though, use plenty of lube

i can go about half the way in and when hard i'm 7 inches, i like to hold a magic wand to the base of my shaft and cum inside myself

>>68665191
Christ alive

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>>68665262
business idea

Got a dad bod

>>68665208
which cunt is that

>>68665191
make it to 50?

no

the fucking STATE of this thread
shouldn't be allowed

>>68665269
You're going to hell m8
>>68665290
Rhodesia

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Why can't most Yanks into /o/ or /œ/?
>>68656285
“http://vocaroo.com/i/s1XzOCRbY1yU

pls no bully”

>>68665215
I guess "hey, I have the same dress at home" makes a great ice-breaker.
Nothing like a goat-stomach flute serenade to woo the ladies as well.

>>68665279
'ddit: the image

Self-hatred is so IN right now

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Can someone translate this

>>68665279
shes a rat

Wish I lived in a quaint little snowy Christmas-y village.

>>68665319
Is it a dress or a skirt? Can you be more consistent.

>>68665301
>You're going to hell m8
see you there bully

>>68665269
>i'm a bit bent

nigga it sounds like your dick could be a tetris piece

>>68665350
its % of french "men" that are poofters per province

Muslims or Lefties

which are worse /brit/?

>>68665354
I'm at 3/5 with at least 1 more on the way

>>68665384

muslims

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>>68665312
fuck's sake, the Danish/Norwegian o with diagonal bar came out as "o".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Close-mid_front_rounded_vowel
Wat's wrong wi'this website that fucks about with so many letters?!

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>>68665279
>feminist campaign
>"he for she"

lol

>>68665208
Because they killed alot of black people

Noticed my housemates keep some weird shit in the fridge

>Bread
>Unopened tins of beans
>Salt and pepper
>Bananas, apples and various other fruit

>>68665369
you've never had a semi?

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>>68665384
that hand that guides both of them

>>68665384
muslims are a disease and lefties are AIDs
lefties make it easier to catch muslims but at the end of the day it's still the muzzie who kills you off

>>68665279
>JFs think this is considered a 10/10 here

not even memeing she is a 7/10 at best, she's only considered 'cute' because of that cancerous film series. personality lowers her to 5/10 to be honest.

>>68665312
saved this image. hope you don't mind

>>68665408

only with your sister, couldn't get hard til we turned the lights off

>>68665405
>living with yanks

>>68665405
Maybe they're just storing food????????????????

>>68665431
not a problem mate

>>68665417
the scotsman?

>>68665443
ahh yes, quality

>>68665384
Muslims

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>the british

Business idea: British controlled Minorca

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quite a thread we have here

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>he has a british accent

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>>68665429
Are you SURE about that? I'd like to see what you think a 10/10 is then

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>>68665350
«Average %age in metropolitan France, (year of) 2014». I do'no the rest, use Google or Yandex.

*starts sparring right in front of your face*

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>>68665533

>>68665405
aha sorry that was me
*takes out the moudly banana and takes a big clean bite out of it*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiNg8ChsyUg

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Wo la

>>68665431
n.p.
(I deliberately misspelled it's name.)

>>68665504
>>68665527
FOY

have never had my willy inside a girl's fanny

>>68665581

jesus fucking hell

>>68665533
>>68665560
I had a dream last night that Maisie showed up and told me I have a big forehead but I pointed out that I had a fringe that was covering most of my forehead and she told me to move it back so she could bully my forehead and I said no and she came over and ran her hand through my hair to sweep it back but then she realised my forehead isn't even that big so she just played with my hair.

>>68665523
canadian ""women"" are closer to men

>>68665674
really want a tomboy gf

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*hands you this*

>Wahey see it off lad!

Can you do it without throwing up?

>in town about 4pm
>loads of girls in tights and skirts
Wew lads

>>68665723
and you're here phoneposting

>>68665722
>quarter bottle of voddy
Fuck off lad i was downing them at 14, posh twat can't handle the banter

>>68665723
What good's looking at a sandwich if you're not going to eat it?

>>68665674
I still won't turn her down if ever asked.

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>>68665674
tessa isn't canadian la


also there's literally nothing wrong with androgyny

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>>68665533
first pic i could find, also kate beckinsale and rachel riley and many more that i can't think of right now

all infinitely more attractive than watson the rat

>>68665723
you expect them to be nude?

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>>68665788
god damn

>>68665776
I want to spaff in her

https://youtu.be/oPo4n9tBPsk

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>>68665788

>>68665788
holee fuck

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*walks towards you(
*bans your porn*

*beats the shit out of you for no reason*

>>68665862
>>68665872
wew, not having a good day am I

>>68665862
Really hope she bans 4chan so I can finally sort my life out

home again for Christmas lads, wahey

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>>68665821

cannot stop listening to badbadnotgood

shit when am i gonna make some proper musical progress

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ah yes, Vote Leave.

>>68665624
what does this mean

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>>68665416
>>68665872

>>68665862
if she bans trap porn i'll start a taliban-style rebellion

>>68665927
Why is the bottom left one on there?

diced or sliced tomatoes

>>68665965
Depends upon the application desu

>>68665963
because if you turn them away all you're doing is increasing the chance that they'll rape a british virgin

>>68665939
FOY

>>68665960
I'd like to see you try cunt I'll put you in the fucking ground

Arms are shaking lads

>>68665191
>tfw unironically have klinefelters

Got a better bod than this spacker though

>>68665960
Wish I could ban all you faggots from life

>>68665927
>replace the NHS
fair enough, it has gone to shit

>break up the UK
I'm English, nothing of value to be lost

>tax returns
who cares

>£2 million expenses
drop in the ocean when it comes to politicians

>turn away healthcare tourists
good

>>68665927
>has stated the NHS should turn away AIDS and HIV patients from foreign countries
amazing that this is actually considered highly contraversial

>>68665927
>vote on facebook

>>68665963
leftists think nations are a tool to bring about agendas, not people with common interests

if you see it the former way, then of course you're going to think not doing a good thing is dumb, while if you see it the latter way, you're going to see it as a waste of resources

>>68666032
>fair enough, it has gone to shit
you don't replace it with an insurance based system, that would be very dumb

Why do people go to absolutely shit unis to study meme degrees

The amount of people I know doing stupid shit like sports science at hallam/Beckett/Trent/man met is madness

guys, what's the deal with Hungary and Turkey? I mean, come on, just get together!

>>68666069
it gives them the moral authority to win arguments over the internet

>>68666069
because they don't actually want to do anything, it's a socially acceptable way to put off real life for another 3 years
suspect you know this already

>>68666004
oh yeah mate? i'm 190cm, 190kg with 190inch arms, you'd shit yourself if you saw me irl sunshine

>>68666019
rasheed

>>68666069
because they want the university experience of drinking lots and being social

in the end though it just means that everyone has to go to uni to get a semi-decent job

>>68666120
>everyone has to go to uni to get a semi-decent job
*everyone goes to uni but no-one can get a job

>>68665927
>tell scrounger non-countries to fuck off to get out
ok

>the public needs to know his personal finances
he's not running for PM or POTUS

>turn away faggots and coons
fine, everyone without a passport should be turned away too

>replace the NHS
also fine, the only way it will be fixed otherwise is axing the unnecessary middle management and that will never happen

>£2m in expenses
not much over 10 years, and the taxpayer elected him

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twat on the 'seek has made private the thing I want

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HEEERE WEEE GOOO
THIS IS IT THIS IS IT THIS IS IT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bXzES95zAA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXK8mMLk_NE

>>68666069
because having even a slightly relevant degree is better than having no degree when it comes to job hunting

if everyone has an education nobody does :^)

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can't wait to fail my english exam tomorrow

Unironically liking this desu

https://youtu.be/34Na4j8AVgA

Business idea: a one for one Chinese foreign student entry programme

The Chinese student gets to study here and get a degree and in exchange they sponsor one British lad to spend 3 years dossing around and getting pissed while living away from home

>>68666168
can't wait to fail my advanced control systems exam

>>68666141
Is Who Wants to be a Millionaire just a game of luck?
I mean, there's 33.34% chance of being right unless the person happen to know the answer, and lifelines can only get you so far into the game.

Let's say there are 15 questions with 4 choices each. Let's also say there are 3 lifelines: call-a-friend, 50-50, and ask-the-audience.

For each of the 15 questions, there is only 1 correct answer, and 3 incorrect answers, so immediately your chances are 1/3 = 33.34%. You can use each lifeline once. Using phone-a-friend, let's say gives you a 95% chance the person you call is correct. So 1 question is 95%. Similarly, we can say ask-the-audience gives you a 95% chance. Finally, 50-50 will remove 2 wrong answers, so you have 1 right answer and 1 wrong answer, so you basically know the answer. To recap:

Question 1: 33.34%
Question 2: 33.34%
Question 3: 33.34%
Question 4: 95% <--- ask-the-audience
Question 5: 33.34%
Question 6: 33.34%
Question 7: 33.34%
Question 8: 33.34%
Question 9: 95% <--- phone-a-friend
Question 10: 33.34%
Question 11: 33.34%
Question 12: 33.34%
Question 13: 33.34%
Question 14: 33.34%
Question 15: 100% <--- 50-50
Total: 690.08%

Divided by 15 questions = 46.00%

So basically, it's more a less a game of chance, but more than half the people on the show will lose, so it's not very fair. That show is making tons of money off of people.

>>68666069
>not going to uni to kick the can of your youth down the line
>wanting to start the eternal 9-5 JFMSU hell rest of your life early

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QbAFQP2-74

>>68666160
>what were you doing for the last three years of your life?
I was volunteering / working / travelling / getting applicable experience for this role
>ah yes, very impressive

vs.

>what were you doing for the last three years of your life?
Getting drunk on other people's money so I didn't have to get a job. Got a piece of paper, though
>hmm

>>68666171
end yourself

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Alri (((kids)))

>>68666184
yeah, and 3 years later china gets a well trained engineer that is proficient in english and we get a worthless lout

muggy twat

business idea: get rid of the concept of "swear words" and just have them be normal words

(people will be less inclined to use them if they're not considered wrong by society so it'll be fine)

>>68666242
then they lose all use as a swear word

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Want to feel old? This is Jamiroquai today

>>68666241
Nah just get the slants to do all the work and we all go on the dole and shag Chinese birds

It isn't sustainable long term but hopefully long enough I'll be dead by the time it isn't

anyone got a spare gf?

Lads, /pol/ are planning on invading a tiny little Polynesian island.

>>68666231
Kek whhyyyyy? pretty good beats you will have to admit

>>68666242
fucking ace idea desu

>9-5 "I WENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF LIFE" cucks getting triggered becuase they spent the "best days of thier life" working graveyeard shifts in tesco while everyone else was enjoying themselves and creating great memories
every time

>>68666222
>I was volunteering / working / travelling / getting applicable experience for this role
Pretty much all of this is easier to do at university. Not everyone gets trashed every night when they go to uni.

>>68666189

>there is only 1 correct answer, and 3 incorrect answers
>your chances are 1/3

lmgdao

>>68666286
no sorry mate, got just one left and I need her for myself

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thought of a really bad post but i refrained from posting it out of fear of the wrath of the janny

>>68666242
isnt this what its like in germany? not sure where i heard this but i feel like its tru

>creating great memories
Ahahahahahhahahhahhahahhahhahhahahhaa

https://youtu.be/4i8idg2RiUs?t=942
adeventurous of you tim

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>It's another collaboration between Daft Punk and an artist of "black or urban music"
I'm not liking that new track by the Chem. Bro.s either, I don't like this pattern.

>>68666319
>he doesn't know about probability distributions beyond the discrete uniform distribution
mong

Business idea skip leg day today

g'an to bed
lets hope i don't wake up hey
\o/

>Money? No thanks mate. I'm PAYING for these memories. £29,000 to be exact.

>What? No it doesn't get me a job, but who wouldn't employ me after these 3 years?

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https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/dec/15/justin-trudeau-interview-globalisation-climate-change-trump

this is quite the paradigm shift

>>68666189
Utter garbage

>>68666410
I'm Scottish so it's free with English tax money, thanks wagey

business idea: let people choose what to spend their taxes on. lefties will give theirs to poor people and pooskins, the right will give theirs to the military and the extra bureaucracy required can easily be sorted out by the public sector, they do fuck all right now and they should be forced to work for their cushy salary packages.

>>68666443
>garbage
FOY

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>>68666455
>I'm Scottish

>>68666466
>FOY
FOP

>>68666458
>let people choose what to spend their taxes on
unironically would support this
like you have to give a certain ammount of your paycheck to certain charities or whatever but you can choose which ones

>>68666442
wtf i love trudeau now

>>68666378
and? this is a discrete uniform distribution right? nothing continuous about this set of events.

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>>68662129
[requires further explanation]

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>bulgarians can go to scotland and study for FREE with English tax money but if the English go to scotland they have to pay

Howling, creasing, screeching and wailing

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>>68666543
>uniform

>>68666455
you can't trigger me jock, when wee jimmy pulls you out of the union your economy will collapse and you won't be getting any more gibs from us, westminster despises you even more than they hate the north right now.

business idea: stop giving scotland so much free shit

ITS TOO HOT

business idea: clement attlee

business idea: stop pretending Scotland exists

Why do the Royals look fucking weird?

business idea: MEGA

>"if I spend the peak of my life staying working 14 hour shifts for minuimum wage and not going out, maybe one day i'll afford a Ford Fiesta on finance!"

>>68666566
but each answer has a 1/4 probability of being the right answer innit?

>>68666557
Why is that allowed?

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>>68666635

business idea: rule over scotland like in the days of the english protectorate

>>68666635
We say the same thing about you guys all the time

>>68666635
inbreeding, it's the same with the elites and the old aristocratic families too. globalism is a problem that will solve itself, the elites will devolve to the point where they have below average intelligence

>>68666670
>having to exaggerate average working conditions because you're stuck being a NEET

>>68666635
inbreeding

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>>68666635

That that to my face

>scottish independence
>welsh independence
>""""kernow""" independence

pathetic

>>68666276
howling

no idea why this doesn't have any (You)s

>>68666670
>it's an arrogant student proving he has no concept of money episode
stick of these repeats

>>68666666

>>68666670
>not going out
We still go out m8, but we don't have to take our loans to pay for it

>>68666635
reported for treason

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>>68666688

>>68666276
>>68666740

same fag

>>68666737
>That that
State of you.

>>68666635
inbreeding and also having kids late in life gives your kids all sorts of issues, richer people tend to have kids later in life

>>68666670
clearly you've never had a job, scrounger. don't exaggerate

>if I spend the peak of my life staying working 8 hour shifts for minuimum wage, doing genuine work for half that and going out twice a week i'll be able to afford a focus RS on finance within a few years

If you are a student or NEET you are not an adult in my eyes, I'm sorry

>>68666676
nope, the only distribution for which this is true is the discrete uniform one and. as the first post clearly pointed out, this is not an accurate model

an accurate probability density function would be given by 3 delta functions each with a coefficient of 1/3 located at the 3 possible answers and nothing at the obviously wrong 1

>>68666832
t. Tesco stockboy

>>68666550
well basically I ate some beans and within the hour I was had the ol diarrhoea/vomit combo which usually isnt a particularly dangeorus illness but it hit me so hard that no lie here within about 10 hours I had shat/puked over 40 times. Even the slightest sip of water meant vomiting it back up like 20 seconds later, this went on for a day and a half but after approx 10 hour mark I could barely stand i was so exhausted and dehydrated, after each 5-10 min vomiting session it took my a bout 2 more mins to even stand up again since I was getting severe cramps in all of my back/abdominal/intercoastal muscles, basically leaving me a crippled mess in agony on the floor. Was desperate for water and each time I tried to drink the vomiting was worse and longer and more painful.

Genuinely one of the most agonising experiences of my life, I fully understand how people can die from diarrhoea, the muscular cramps were unbelievable

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>>68666683
due to the æternal British political problem of
“The Mid–Lothian Question”.

reminder that if you do not have

a job
a car
a place of your own

and have not been in at least 3 (three) different continents

you're not an adult

>>68666857
Actually I'm on 38k myself, but I still respect Tesco stockboys more than students and NEETs lol

>>68666683
Scottish influence


>>68666878
it has a very simple answer

>>68666894
these seem like very arbitrary requirements
shan't be subscribing to this train of thought

>>68666959
the first three are pretty standard milestones of independence
the second is a requirement for adequate cultural growth and experience

>>68666959
>train of thought

it's trail of thought you dunce

reminder that if you have pubic hair, you're an adult in my eyes

reminder that if you have long hair I won't be reading a word you type

where can I get V8 juice

reminder that if you are reading this post then i love you

>>68667066
bit gay

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>>68667082

>>68666873
Jesus,
this was due to an allergy, and how was it not picked up earlier in life?

>>68667064
the shop

NEED a kazakh gf

>>68666999
>adequate culture growth

Lol


Pussy

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>>68667136

>>68666999
what if I live in a city? don't really need a car then

>>68667147
t. never left his state

>>68666894
what if i dont need a car

>>68667136
insta aya_shalkar

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reckon the worldwide rejection of globalism will lead to a world war. got a bad feeling about it

Just bought a whole host of things off Amazon for Christmas, everything for the family is sorted.

With Amazon Prime it was easier than ever, it all came next day which was free because of the free 30 day trial available to everyone.

>>68667170
>>68667177
townies are basically permanent teenagers

>>68667107
I don't know that it was an allergy
I don't know what it was, I hadn't eaten anything dodgy that week but the beans seemed to set me off majorly

have eaten beans since, just not a large quantity
I came quite close to calling an ambulance because I was pretty sure I needed an IV but eventually I managed to hold down some crushed ice. was back to normal about 2 days later

>>68667199
alri jeremy

>>68667199
*10p credit has been added to your Amazon Prime account*

>>68667176
"Culture" and history ended at WW2

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>>68667054
Wow, saved in my "Best of..." folder.

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>>68667136
wholeheartedly agreed

>>68667199
>this cheap amazon advertising

>>68667199
Never knew Brits celebrated Christmas. Seems odd

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>Never knew Brits celebrated Christmas. Seems odd

>that one Irish poster with thought out file names

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NEED to get banned again quickly, wasting too much time here

I am the janitor

68667326
won't be glancing at a molecule of this

>>68667326
oh I need this in my life

>>68667377
*volunteers*

Hello wankers I am the janny suck my cock

Poo

>>68667413
you're gonna install it on the ceiling of my room? cheers pal

>oh I need this in my life
Fucking cringe.

>>68667511
*gets my drill out*

£40 for parts, £50 labour ta boss

>>68667540
fair day's pay for a fair day's work haha
*ushers you towards the door*
*pushes you out without paying*
*bolts the door*

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>dubs says down with the bourgeoisie

>>68667581
*remember i'm built like a brick shithouse*
*flexes my gut*

now now mate, i'll take half now and half once the job's done

>these roleplaying benders

have not read a single post in this thread

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>>68667616
>no. no. no. no. no. my spirit lives on within the repeating digits

Business idea:start posting in normdrone girl speak.

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>>68667616
good idea lad

>>68667616
>>68667647
fudge off

>>68667271
YAAAAAS she is SO hot!!

>>68667654
alri let's see how you think that is then

>>68667473
amazing post

swear words are not allowed in /brit/ just sayin'

Sleep is good, death is better; but of course, the best thing would to have never been born at all.

>>68667654
haha fink this mite b a gud idea

>>68667709
too fucking right

why do girls wear so much makeup?

How can we make /brit/ as hip and influential as r/unitedkingdom lads? Bear in mind they singlehandedly forced the pengest much meme

bloody hell lads the yanks have bought sky

>>68667740
men's standards are too high

>>68665034
>>68665034
>>68665034
This is a type of british sentiment I saw a lot while living in the UK

If you ever do or experience nice things, people think of it as posh and bent.

Where does this sentiment come from?

>>68667783
this ugh

why are guys such jerks

>>68667759
Putin's gonna hack them now and make sure we don't get a white christmas

>>68667271
Omg bae

>>68667791
a dislike of posh benders like you pal

Is papa john's decent? Never had it

>>68667791
jealous northerners obvs

>>68667791
Underlying classism which everyone pretends doesn't exist.

>Trudeau took a million dollars from Chinese Communist party members
>Canada being overrun by Chinese

hmmm

imagine being a povvo runt oh my days mad ting

>>68667791
pondlife jealousy

>>68667835
fuck the toffs

>>68667826
it's alright
bit expensive

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>>68667839
>canadians elected poodeau
>canadians mock us for electing trump

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>And you make your own bread?
>Yes chef
>and the flour is made here right?
>Well no, we buy the flour
>Unbelievable.

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>>68667852
haha right, imagine that....

>>68667826
its a bit posh desu

dont respond to the "hurr britain is shit" yank

>>68667835
Who pretends? lol

>>68667826
it's yank, avoid

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>>68667271
>>68667699
>>68667803
I know this is very far from being new, but just in case ye haven't already seen her.

>>68667909
guardian readers

>>68667740
Ugh don't ask me you CREEP

Morning lads

>>68667901
no ones posting that. you overly defensive twat

>>68667892
>And you make your own posts?
>No chef
>Where do they come from then?
>/tv/, chef
>wow...WOW
>I've lurked here!

but you are him though you stupid wanker

off yourself

watched tv at midday while eating my sandwich from the boulangerie and they talked about that tv show on the bbc where they put 9 rasheeds in a house and make them interact
heard it made quite a lot of noise in britain, big ting

>>68667938
>>68667892
same fag

>>68667645
It's fucking embarassing. I'd fucking glass the cunts if they behaved like this in the pub

>>68667959
mong

>>68667981
caught you

>>68665146
I agree w. first part, not the second part.

>>68667973
UGH. What a weirdo!!

made a so-called ""post"" lads

>>>/mu/69681006