/brit/

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cara

never been touched flirtatiously by a girl

>>68619607
good post

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maisie

came VERY close to having sex with some 16 years old on year ten camp in wollongong

truly an amazing place

>>68619610
the decline era

starting to believe that by all measures and metrics the US is better than europe

and for the record i don't consider the UK to be a part of europe

>>68619646
as in decline donnelly

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>I was on shrooms
I think I've found the problem

>we live on a small spherical rock flying at incredible speeds around a molten ball of gas, in a massive universe we cannot comprehend the size of, most of which is empty space and we communicate with people we cannot see and do not know instantaneously
Thinking

>>68619592
yes thank you data

lurking my ex gfs' normiebook profiles at work

pretty sure their new boyfriends have bigger dicks than me

>>68619646
the UK is still an incredibly powerful country you minuscule microbe

>>68619675
>tfw you won't be terraforming planets in your lifetime

>>68619660
why are you posting here you fat fuck

go back to /cum/ with your border hopping and moose fucking companions

>>68619688
not hard
(I mean this as both it's not difficult to have a bigger dick than you and that they are even bigger when they're flaccid)

>>68619694
an incredibly coloured country

>>68619713
nailed it
yes

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I hate my life.

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>tfw no deanna troifu

hold on a sec lads let me get my laptop

>>68619669
is that a valid excuse though? shrooms wouldnt make that just happen like alcohol would?

>>68619742
would love my ballbag in there

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Really makes you wank

>tfw 500 words and some serious referencing to do
>tfw just want to sleep

>>68619777
willy is thinking very hard here

>>68619758
haha yea alright mate
*leaves without you*

pumpkin spice latte

>>68619763
I'm sure shrooms fuck up the psyche even more than alcohol
although there are varying factors

>>68619777
all these schoolgirls photos making me realise how grim britain is that they're always wearing stockings

>>68619818
>stockings
shut up you tard

>>68619818
those are tights mate

>>68619818
it's comfy as fuck m8
better off than living in a scorching wasteland

i hate the internet

personally view brexit as the most recent iteration of the retreat of britain from a position of authority on the world stage

>>68619841
>>68619830
get over it ladies
>>68619845
nah

ok im here now

hope nobody left without me

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>>68619592
>rorke trek

>>68619818
They're all fugly. Get your own.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tymWpEU8wpM

>>68619890
that's exactly why opinions are personal, you're allowed to be wrong if you want

can someone please explain those weird female wojak images with the pretty princess points and the pink creature?

>>68619915
think it's a defensible position 2bh

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> tfw will never touch a boob or kiss a girl

>>68619917
/r9k/ pretending to be girls?

>>68619933
What like a hill? what a weird thing to say

>>68619665
hugely underrated post

>>68619933
defend it

>>68619927
Is this what waffles is?

need some music for the library

tights mentioned

the aussie must be going over his data cap posting all these webms

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/38303029/viral-support-for-meme-victim-hitting-back-at-body-shamers
meme'd haha

>>68619941
you phisically can without their consent

then again wouldnt recommand it

going for a cycle in shorts in december

what am I like hehe x

need to poo so bad ffs

just whacked 50 gallons on the water card

gonna be a good christmas lads

>>68620012
what the fuck is a water card?

>>68620038
bet it's a poorthern thing, like pay-as-you-go heating

>>68620038
card made of water
they're a bit shit, you can't write anything on it and it usually evaporates in the post

>>68620038
>having an unlimited supply of water
FOB

>>68619694
brit detected
get the fuck out of my country achmed

>>68620058
fuck off murderer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9u_Ituu2Q8

If the bakery opens at 7am does that mean they have freshly baked shit ready to go or will I have to wait?

>>68620060
jesus is this actually a thing in the north? i forget access to clean water isn't a problem reserved for the third world

>>68620097
i dont fucking know do I

>>68620087
need to try this one day and see if its not just a meme

>>68620106
do you have unlimited electricity too?

>>68620097
they'll start cooking before official opening idiot

>>68620097
sounds like the sort of thing a baker might know

>>68620097
why would a shop open with nothing to sell?

this leaf eats freshly baked shit hahaha

>>68620097
i'd imagine you'd have to wait a little bit if you want something hit, fresh out of the oven.

It's distorted patriotism. It's immigrant identity. It's numbness through repetition. It's memes. It's uncertainty. It's the decision between engagement and detachment. It's noisy, it's tangled, it's complicated. Dean Blunt, DJ Escrow and Gassman D's debut album as Babyfather isn't a direct commentary on the world's collective headspace in 2016, but it feels like a reflection of it.

>>68620138
hmmm... a puzzle indeed

>>68620138
Banter

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can't find the lecky key and av got the xmas dinner in the freezer

>>68620147
*smacks you in the chops*
nah senpai i aint waiting for shit

had a bit of cheese for lunch

>>68620097
my bakeress gf bakes cakes the day before but scones are made fresh in the morning before opening

I fucking hate tea

the so-called 'get'

it's the caffeine, the nicotine, the milligrams of tar

>>68620188
foy

>>68620142
I went to a place yesterday where they bake the donuts fresh everytime you order and then you also get to tell them what you want on your donut. god it was so fucking good. having a place like this so close to home is surely going to make me get fat again. all that hard work down the drain :^(

warm in here isn't it?

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not the way i pictured this i wanted better things
staring at the carnage, praying that the sun would never rise

What's it called where you dislike and actively avoid interaction with people you aren't friends with?

Do you think he'll ever turn the filter off?

>>68620179
hey don't shoot the messenger!!

>>68620222
asocial

>>68620222
autism

>>68620188
Me too.

>be northerner
>start of a new month, time for a shower
>go to the bathroom, get undressed
>walk up to the till at the shower
>realise you left your water card downstairs
>go downstairs, find out your house is flooded again
>just swim around for a bit instead

buying heyposting stocks

im glad my school never had a roses delivery service on valentines

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>>68620245
the north absolutely btfo

redbull > coffee > tea

what else could possibly go with cheese?
*pours molten crusty cheese all over it*
ah yes, very impressive

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ah yes

Thanks for answers lads gonna make a croissant sandwich

>>68620267
people like it on their meat
no me though

>>68620269
would try it out

canned food is pretty good most of the time

>>68620222
doesn't matter. be yourself

israeli historians are absolutely savage lads, they tear the shreds out of each other

Would you ever riot on behalf of black rights?

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>>68620245
>walk up to the till at the shower

>>68620312
unironically yes

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>>68620307

>>68620307
sounds like me and the lads haha
smithy absolutely ripped daveo to shreds on the group chat other day the madman

>>68620312
no because they'd kill me because i'm white

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Wearing my new woolly jumper lads

>>68620312
rioting is for barbarians

>have a wank
>now room smells of cum

ah yes

>>68620232
but I'm perfectly fine with people I'm friends with and I'm extremely social with them

>not jumping at an excuse for civil disobedience

this packet of skips absolutely reeks of my bellend

>>68620362
looks like school dinner petezas

>>68620349
>not doing autofellatio and swallowing
mate...

>>68620362
>doesn't de-grease the 'za

no ty

this packet of monster munch absolutely reeks of my bellend

>>68620396
love that pickled onion aroma

kinda wish i had foreskin just to find out how bad the stench of smegma can get

sadly i have a clean pristine willy

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>that time you realised too late that a girl was flirting with you because you thought she was out of your league

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>mfw northern cash machines give out fivers because their paychecks are under a tenner

>>68620312
No. Why? Born in the western world. No one is oppressed. Everyone has the same chances.
Some more than most now but that's fine

>>68620436
>No one is oppressed
except for white people lol

>Americans who call themselves fascists or traditionalists
dire

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>>68620428
happened to me

She kept pinching my arse and starting conversations with me and I ignored her everytime

still a KV at 21

>>68620420
havent washed my willy for about 4 days, i know it's pretty bad
can't have a look at how bad it is since I'm at work but will keep u updated

real women love smegma

Would like to get back into education but i think years of drinking/internet addiction have rendered me incapable of thinking critically.

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Corbyn has won or drawn every PMQs against May other than that first shellacking, IMO.

>>68620468
lemme have a look
*undoes your fly*
*grabs your willy and takes it out of your pants*
PEW EEE VERY STINKY BAD ANON

>>68620449
We are.
You know we are.

lads it's looking increasingly likely that I'll steal /xmasgf2016/ right at the death

i'm so close now

>>68620492
graduated about ten years ago

i'm basically retarded

>>68620428

>get on the back of the bus with m8
>going into town to meet some more m8s
>all these uni slags get on and sit at the back
>one rubs my leg for atleast 10 minutes
>just ignore it and talk to m8
>one of her m8s finally pulls her hand off my leg
>says 'sorry'
>i go 'i-its fine'
>get off the bus

pretty weird looking back on it

>>68620502
that's like, you're opinion man

>>68620524
*does a cheeky smash and dash right under your nose*
hehe sorry lad nothin personnel

what if mental people are actually normal and we're all actually mental

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>>68620428
haha

>>68620536
fucks sake how do you lads get handed these situations on a platter and still manage to fuck it up

you dont deserve it desu

>>68620344
Cricket core/10

>about to clutch /gf2016/
>realise I forgot to top up my intercourse card

>>68620344
looks comfy lad

NZ lad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNrNS-JEgM8

>Yemen's Prime Minister accuses UK of war crimes

It's war then

>>68620511

That's both stupid and disgusting.

>>68620596
did you forget your wallet at the gf till?

the misses has made mince pies but the top bit is a viennese whirl
full of surprises, that one

>>68620633
bounce her head off the wall

and they're called christmas pies not mince pies

>>68620622
Hilarious. Even amongst other shitty desert countries they're considered pathetic.

I fucking hate russia

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>>68620344
I thought all the Clancy Brothers died?

>>68620633
*tilts head back and closes eyes*

"ah yes... yes... that one"

>>68620625
nah I just forgot to bring the card with me when I topped up the water, leccy and collect my rations

dont really like desserts unless im stoned whereupon they become god tier

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Lads something terrible had just happened

I just came back from the offie to top up my leckie key and when I came back to my house there was water pouring out all of the bottom floor windows, I ran up to the front door and opened it and a huge surge of water washed straight by me
It wasn't stopping so it seems like there must have been a burst pipe nearby so I followed the water upstairs and lo and behold there was a massive geezer of almost ice cold water surging out from the pipe on the wall
Without any delay I unzipped my trousers, took off my pants and shoved my goolies into the hole to have them totally battered by the rushing water and frozen by the floes, they've withered down into tiny raisins but hopefully when my mum tops up the leckie i can stick a fork in the plug socket and obliterate my wet and frosted nads once and for all

forgot to feed the ciggy meter lads, got no nicotine now until da gets home

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>whereupon

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>>68620670
so i'm assuming you're pro-EU then

careful what you ask for

>>68620536
you'd think she'd give up sooner than 10 minutes. how old were you?

>>68620688
why did you write this

>>68620670
Russia is the eastern frontier of Europe. Our hardest eastern cunts.
Respect them.

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>>68620688
The electric key is the funniest part

Absolute state of people who use keys and gas cards

>>68620734
>our

he's a fucking yank, he has nothing to do with europe

y'know what, ah'm in a right pickle now lads
'ad t'take me jumper back t'clothes rental and now me old man's only gon' an' forgot t'top up 'eatin' card
sat 'ere shakin' like stevens, I am

gday m8s.
so...i'm considering moving up to the UK for a change of pace. Is the economy really going to turn to shit with the incoming brexit? or how about some other alternative big cities that don't have a ridiculous cost of living like London has?

>>68620765
good post

why are brown people content to work in fast food chains well into their 20s?

>>68620787
peng munch

>>68620765
t' post 'ere 'ad me bleedin' cryin' wi' lafta

>>68620790
>no penis

Sad!

>>68620790
Don't watch this it gave me a feeling

>>68620765
put kekkle on

girl I know still sucks her thumb at 23

>>68620750
Had to do this in a couple of my uni houses in Liverpool

I'm from the south and i didn't even know it was a thing

never want to see a clinton in politics for the rest of my life

My name is Mike, and I just had someone reply to an email I sent them with 'Hi Kike'. Can I sue them for anti-semitism and walk away with millions? I'm not Jewish unfortunately, so it might be a difficult legal process.

whats your tune of the year?

>>68620844
uptown funk

>>68620751
I know what you mean.
I believe we watched this a few nights ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CNeDtZmpjU

>>68620825
ohhh could right go f' a nice proper cuppa Yarkshire at a time like this but ah've already used all'a me tea rations f'this month, ain't I
blow me down, ah'm 'avin' a right time of it, I am

>>68620826
sen her come star

>>68620853
gas

>>68620844
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq8S2D0x88c

>>68619582
I'm wondering how does something like this just "accidentally" happen. It was like this for myself and a friend of mine with whom I was in love with. Heavy drunkenness from my side and slight tipsy + horniness from hers and boom... She really said she only sees me as a friend and has no idea how it happened.

>just fucking kill me right now

>>68620844
is it too late now to say soooorryyyyy

>be northerner
>see all these jokes about northerners
>do not get any of them

are people south of cheshire that out of touch with reality?

>>68620879
tune mate thanks for posting

>>68620844
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_0GkKQ_nzc

>>68620900
this one too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8_UAZ4ZjfQ

>>68620434
>paycheck

FOY

>>68620894
>reality is having a top-up water card

yep

>>68620844
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36V2FjRSHQc

CLASSIC

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLcxve603-4

>>68620919
I think my dad had one of those maybe 20 years ago?

they're mostly obsolete nowadays unless you still live in a victorian runt house

>>68620714

18

>be up North on business
>stay in hotel
>receptionists asks me if I will be requiring water during my stay

>>68620946
good lad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBdnxOPfKoE

it's the repetitive, repetitive nonsense that brings her down
and it's my double trouble, barney rubble chit chat that causes her frown

just nipped into town and banged £50 on the oxygen key

>>68620950
okay I thought you must have been a young high schooler but you ignoring her is just weird now

>>68620914
bangre

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTYZlaF9Ye4

Them BLOODY Asian kids been throwin' stones int' local well again! Ginna try an' get refund on me last top-up na'

Went to the North whilst on holiday in England and I took the first plane out of there lads.

Thought I ended up in bombed out Beirut

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going to run on the treadmill for a bit

i'll be back to harvest my (You)s in a little while

>>68620841
Convert to Judaism then proceed as planned

the north is taking an absolute battering here

>>68620985
How much did you get on your Lycamoble, Tariq?

don't like people who aren't white

>>68620902
Sincerely hate Korean popular music

>>68621026
damn i missed this EP that's an absolute belter

>>68620971
quality.

>>68621075
just every piece of food that they eat

cringe at this aussie trying to fit in with the north/south banter

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Reminder that statistically more posters here have a 4-5 incher than above 6

>>68621092
Forgot Australian music existed tbqh

post quality squarepushers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4YdmXwotyQ

is 5'8 too short for a white gf?

>>68621117
asians distort this data

the average length for a white man is 6.5"

>>68621117
think my willy's about 4 inches on the flop but a bit over 7 hard

>>68621117
>tfw 6

feels okay man. nothing special but i don't have any embarrassment showing it to people

What should I get the so-called mother for xmas lads? Literally have no ideas.

>>68621153
africans also distort this data

the actual average length for a white man is 5.5 inches

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S-stop it

>>68621186
>5.5 inches
tiny desu

>>68621152
you'll never have a gf you utter cretin

>>68621186
whatever helps you sleep at night mate haha

will be getting mine a pack of WKD blue like every year. the only thing i can be sure she will actually like

the gf i'll take shopping and let her buy some clothes with my money or something

everyone else can fuck off 2bh

>>68621132
Courtney Barnett was mildly popular for a bit wasn't she? Grasping at straws here frankly.

>wake up in glorious Northern England
>tap conks out half way through shaving
>walk to the bus stop
>stop for a quick chat with Manjinder, ask her how many saris she's sold this week
>get bus to charity shop I work at
>have 10 minute fag break
>have argument with fellow volunteers about how they don't do any work
>got riled up, have another fag break
>stop for tea break
>clock off early because if I work too long they'll take away my disability benefits
>top up water card on way home
>get a kebab, no sauce because that's an extra stamp on my ration book I can't afford
>get home, finish shaving
>fall asleep watching corrie
>wipe out the town's electricity
>get honour killed

>>68621221
my dick's 6.5 inches erect actually

is it arianna GRAND or arianna GRANDAY?

>>68621233
>Courtney Barnett
Who?

just realised that both george washington and the king at the time were both named george

>>68621250
alri granddad

The Fendippitous Eggmen are returning soon.

>>68621228
was meant for>>68621175

>tfw sexual partners always compliment me on my impressive girth

feels good man

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>>68621246

>having enough on your water card for a cup of tea

>>68621153
Ok I'd like to see a study cited that supports your claim

>>68621255
Don't worry.

all the northerners are at work whilst the autistic neet southerners are here chatting shit

>>68621246
At least you tried.

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Reminder that I have a 6 inch cock and I am ABOVE AVERAGE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXMONr3QmkU

Really like this fella's videos about history

>>68621289
always 'ave a cuppa whilst I'm ont' clock, that way council pays f'it
got proper frugal me, followin' in me da's foodstamps

>>68621219
projecting eh?

>>68621250
It's pronounced grawnd

Question: why don't Pakistani nationals go back to Pakistan if they like Islam so much?

>>68621298
It's the Luton pakis desperately trying to make out they're living in paradise

>Be Southerner
>Wake up
>Go outside
>Get beheaded in the street for forgetting to top up my shariah law card

>In August 1990, an unemployed French nuclear physicist named André Gardes armed with a semi-automatic weapon attempted an invasion of Sark. The night Gardes arrived, he put up two posters declaring his intention to take over the island the following day at noon. The following day he started a solo foot patrol in front of the manor in battle-dress with weapon in hand. While Gardes was sitting on a bench waiting for noon to arrive, the island's volunteer connétable approached the Frenchman and complimented him on the quality of his weapon.[15] Gardes then proceeded to change the gun's magazine, at which point he was tackled to the ground, arrested, and given a seven-day sentence which he served in Guernsey.

just found out the so called gf has been cheating on me lads

all t'north'ners ar' a' work whilst t'aut'ist'ic neet south'ners ar' 'ere chattin' shite

>>68621328
>Theology
Thanks for informing me that your brain has been sufficiently rotted by religion

Lunchtime at work and the sun's out so I'm getting a couple of cans of fosters from tesco and drinking them in a churchyard instead of sitting in the pub

>>68621344
This tbqh

>>68621358
is it ANDRE gardes or ANDRAY gardes?

Any slags lads?

>>68621375
>having enough on your booze card for more than one can
blimey, someone's doin' alri

>>68621365
only appropriate response is to post her nudes

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>>68621405

>>68621418

Stole my uncles

forgot to top up the ham card so i've just got a bloody branston sandwich

>>68621246

>wake up i' glorious northern england
>tap conks art 'alf way thru shaving
>walk teur t' bus gi'o'er
>stop for eur sharp cha' wi' manjinda, ax 'a 'a menny saris she's sowd dis week
>get bus ta charity shop ah fettle at
>hev 10 minute fag breyt
>hev argument wi' fella volunteers abaht 'a thee dooant doa enny fettle
>got riled up, av anotha fag breyt
>stop for teeur breyt
>clock off early 'cos if ah fettle tooa long they'll tek away uz disability benefits
>top up wattah card on way 'ooam
>get eur kebab, neya sauce 'cos that's an extreur stamp on uz ration buk ah can't afford
>get 'ooam, finish shaving
>fall asleep watchin corrie
>wipe art t' town's electricity
>get 'onour killed.

>>68621117
it's all about girth anyway

Brb lads jelqing to get myself above average

business idea: translate anything a northener says into yorkshire accent and post a fedora with it

>Films will not be eligible for two of the main Bafta Awards from 2019 if they do not meet new diversity criteria.

Thoughts?

>poortherners
KEK

who the fuck actually eats in at greggs?

>>68621498
do not care about film as a medium anymore

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>>68621510
>not having the sausage rolls while they're actually hot

>>68621510
Me when it was lunch time at school

>>68621495
*flat cap

taking the missus to a romantic meal at greggs so I can pop the question

cannae lads

just got asked who the fuck eats in at greggs in greggs

>>68621510
US NORTHERNERS

>>68621510
Us mate, steak baek in are greggs's 'alf the number a' stamps in me ration book as tesco an' that

>>68621561
*encircles you*

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>Takin t' missus ta eur romantic meal a' greggs sa ah can pop t' question

need to get back to the gym

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQmAPs-qoao

this band is from birmingham

really makes me think

but the gf's ring in a gregg's sausage roll all romantic like

>>68621605
>anaal

kek'd desu lad

cooplands > greggs

>>68621611
the fat cow swallowed it whole and all

>>68621611
size a yer gf mate, y'could put ring 'round sausage roll, ne'mind in it like haha

>>68619592
should I cheat on my bf?

business idea: become a really popular band, and release a song called "painless suicide methods" so that it's all that shows up when people google it, preventing them from killing themselves

>>68621603
Hate runts who irregularly lift.
>Aww yeah mate I need to start lifting again I used to be able to bench [made up number]
I don't care if you don't have the willpower to stick to a routine, nobody does.

>>68621628
ain't 'alf right lad

>>68621625
>implying we have coonlands in the south

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>'ate runts whoa irregularly lift.

like greggs, cheap at twice price

absolutely fuming want to stab myself im sofuckign angry

>>68621684
b-but terry was i-irish...

>>68621498
Fucking embarrassing.

>>68621714
what's the problem fransheed?

>>68621684
t.skinny fat southerner

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baynes > greggs

the fuck is a baynes lads? is it some form of poortherner creation?

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>>68621754

>>68621684
Fuck off you little shit, you think you're funny with your awful gimmick? No one likes it, get out

>>68621764
sounds haram brother

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>why yes I am from the south of england

making a new thread

i'm from the west midlands

>>68621498
What happens if a film is set in a town that's not London, Birmingham or Bradford? What about Historical film? Affirmative action makes me want to throw up on my own dick

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>Fuk off eur lahl shite, eur think thas funny wi' thy awful gimmick? neya 'un likes it, gerr art

>>68621837
plastic jock detected

Cooplands > Greggs

>>68621764
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bath_and_North_East_Somerset

>tfw from East Anglia and have no sister
as soon as my mum dies, I'm unbanterable

who /devon/ here

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THIS is the average northerner