/brit/

>>68582391
I dont understand the obsession with Kojima.

cara

>>68582409
He's quirky...
that's about it I think.

let's see this gimmick then

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me

literally posting from an airplane mid flight lads

David Bowie
Alan Rickman
Prince
Terry Wogan
Ronnie Corbett
Caroline Aherne
Victoria Wood
Mohammed Ali
Gene Wilder

what a year

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AITPcTKUwc

i have so many thoughts on this video

>>68582436
>this was the gimmick I waited a whole thread to see
mate.

got a long list of ex-lovers who'll tell you I'm insane

>>68582456
I'm not who you think you are

got phlegm stuck in my throat, how do i get it out?

>goyim will never EVER know the feel of your mum making you a lovely steaming bowl of chicken soup with knaidlach when you have a cold

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I hope the (((kids))) have a nice Christmas, even though they're Muslims

>>68582472
Call a guy.

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Gf sent me this

https://twitter.com/malagurski/status/807904678512050176/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

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What did they mean by this

Who /curlyhair/ master race here?

>>68582446
doing a big fat ree over here you forgot the most important one

>>68582543
People were tricked into voting the way they did because they were manipulated by fake information so we need to remove the platform for anyone with opposing opinions to spread their thoughts

>>68582543
ah yes, dig themselves further, that will surely work out

>>68582552
hi schlomo

>>68582543
That Nigel Farage is not controversial - he is toxic. They then go on to question why media outlets give him airtime, despite his toxicity.

What have Michael Jackson and Father Christmas got in common?

Out of dozens of matches, only three girls have ever messaged me first on tinder. The first was black, the second a bot and the third a tranny.

>>68582560
you mean kev's dog?

have BLACKED videos downloaded on my PC

>>68582590
They both leave little kid's bedrooms with empty sacks.

>>68582592
whats wrong with the black?

Some woman hit her car door against mine and drove off. Got her license plate. Can I report her and get money to pay for the dent?

Doing a list of things to do in my week off

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Mad how the less technological hand-car wash has replaced the rollover car-wash machines

>There are now 20,000 hand car washes in Britain
> in the space of 10 years, the number of rollover car-wash machines has halved – from 9,000 to 4,200

Surely the opposite should happen

>>68582624
The machine ones damage the car

>>68582614
nothing, just not really attracted to them

>>68582640
bit racist

>>68582611
You're about two decades late for that one m8.

no one works here or what

>>68582624
weird, almost as though there has been an influx of cheap labour in the last ten years

>>68582647
day off desu

owwww fuck I just whacked myself in the bollocks

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>go to the nurse at uni for a bad leg from running
>sit down next to her
>tells me take my underwear off
>turns out it's a sexual health nurse
>load of people saw me go in

What kind of bees make milk?

>>68582645
even black guys are generally more attracted to white girls
>>68582647
just arrived in the country?

>>68582684
the big black and white ones

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>penis inspection nurse failed to notice my phimosis

really love the texture of kidney beans

'mend me some good dishes with kidney beans in them lads?

>>68582543
daily reminder that the entire fake news wikipedia page was created last month

Can someone please tell my fortune

>>68582722
chilli

>work christmas party coming up
literally my most hated day of the year

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>>68582711
>>68582677
Actually had to have a nurse test me for "mrsa" the other day

Had to do a groin swab and I accidentally put my underwear on the wrong way round that day

And ti was really cold and there was shrinkage

>>68582748
why la

>>68582722
curries

>>68582736
you will shit your pants on the 21st of june

>>68582748
Don't go

I never go

they don't even invite me...

>>68582764
>And ti was really cold and there was shrinkage
of course there was sweetie xx

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>>68582593
no

>>68582722
bean soup

>>68582391
Fucking hell now I'm going to get mixed up between /brit/ and /v/ threads

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>>68582790
I genuinely am a grower

I hate it

7 inches hard and like 2.5 soft

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Q = 10 - P
C = 2

Q = 10 - P
P = 10 - Q

Profit = (P - C)Q
Profit = (10 - Q - 2)Q
Profit = (8 - Q)Q
Profit = 8Q - Q^2
Profit = 8 - 2Q
2Q = 8
Q = 4

Q = 10 - P
4 = 10 - P
P = 6

Profit = (6 - 2)4
Profit = 16

>>68582744
>>68582777
>>68582815
look just forget it

*runs into bedroom and slams the door*

What is a normal flaccid length?

>>68582446
you forgot Leonard Cohen

>>68582784
you can't get out of it
>>68582767
I go full autist mode with all the people and noise and clam up while seeing all the office qts get off with guys from the other office. literally makes me want to kill myself

>>68582840
it varies person to person
there is no normal

>>68582840
5 inches

bean wanker loves his fucking beans

>>68582843
Mike?

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>>68582846
>seeing all the office qts get off with guys from the other office
bad feel

>getting worried about your flaccid length

jesus christ

I'm not a grower or a shower
just somewhere in between

>>68582446
Where are famous faces such as Pete Burns, David Guest and Paul Daniels

>tfw my sister is a real bitch

She's always really mean to me and insults me

>>68582886
that's called "small"

>>68582904
Tongue her anus

>>68582904
do her in with a hammer

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>be me watching bangbus
>Guy gets on, flaccid willy comes out
>He can't get hard
>Pornstar takes the piss
>Camera guy:"wtf man your balls are bigger than your dick!"
>He licks her disease ridden pussy and then leaves
>Pornstar talks about how she feels sorry for small dicked guys like that, hopes he has a good job

>>68582904
Post her feet la'

Just wanked to that pornstar ASMR girl and I came buckets.

>>68582446
All me

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>tfw no sister

Perfectly satisfied with the size of my penis tbqh.

*surreptitiously googles kidney bean dishes*

>>68582875
No, Leonard Cohen

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>>68582925

>>68582937
same

why does liver taste so good lids

>>68582807
If Cruyff was English he'd never have gotten into the England team.

My cock is massive

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I was going to make this into a wojack punching pepe but I never got round to it

*bumps up a recipe for mashed kidney bean on Google Adwords*
*surreptitiously replaces matey's kidney beans with my bollocks*

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>If Cruyff was English he'd never have gotten into the England team

>>68582840
4 inches I dare say.

Mind you, I sleep in a freezing cold room and when I get out of bed in the morning it looks like a fucking acorn.

Muslims Like Us is a wake-up call for Islamophobes everywhere

>>68582973
wouldnt be the first time an england manager makes a poor choice

>>68582981
>matey slowly grinds bollocks to a fine paste in pestle and mortar

>>68582997
it sure is
*cancels TV license*

>tfw normal sized dick but it looks tiny because I'm 6'3

6" and not even worried tb h

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>>68583043
>tfw only slightly above average sized dick but looks gigantanormous because I'm 5'10

What would you do if your nan read everything you ever posted on 4chan

/brit/'s use of gimmickry is unique within 4chan

I really do think someone should do a study on us

most (You)s you've gotten from a /brit/ gimmick? 16 for me

I have spates where my cock shrivels up and i cant get a proper hard on

Usually go back to normal after a nofap detox of about 4 days

>>68583070
"it was just banter"

>>68583070
shes terrible at english so i'm sorted

http://www.strawpoll.me/11866504

http://www.strawpoll.me/11866504

http://www.strawpoll.me/11866504

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*purrs towards you*

I'm boycotting Sophie dee because she's a vapid whore. I recently watched a video of her mocking a guy for having a small penis (looked about 6 inches), said she couldn't even feel it etc

Will bollock posting ever make a comeback?

Just heard Assad was personally killing women and children on the ruins of the last hospital #genocide #murder #Aleppo

>>68583070
both my nans are dead

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Off to the Tinder date lads

>>68583131
lol

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>americans literally have a puppet government controlled by Moscow now

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>>68583116
BIG

>>68583140
what a time to be alive

>>68583117
it is currently at its peak, being used sporadically and inventively

>>68583157
wd lad
Keep it up
Proud of you

>>68583090
I'm gonna find out where your nan lives and send her hundreds of pictures of cara and loads of insults in Dutch

>>68583134
haha long boy

Know some Somalis who say they got it wallahi

Just get us some donuts and coffee we'll meet him in the lobby

"oi oi" he says

>civil service getting infiltrated by /brit/
Alri lads its only a matter of time before the judiciary is ours as well, and then the country

>>68583182
bit rude

>>68583157
Careful mate, you might become one of those "experts" that people seem to dislike nowadays.

>tfw 24 and living at home
>tfw my mum has decided to turn on the BT parental controls
do I have to literally ask her for my porn back?

Just opened 13 on my advent calendar x

>>68583211
Hahaha holy shit BTFO

>>68583211
no, you're supposed to take the bloody hint

>>68583157
not anymore you're not lol

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>>68583211

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>>tfw 24 and living at home
>>tfw my mum has decided to turn on the BT parental controls
>do I have to literally ask her for my porn back?

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>>68583211

>tfw have BT and know how to set parental controls
not gonna tell him because he's obviously a runt and deserves it

>tfw my penis is too large for me to be alt-right

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>>68583211

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>>68583238
>24 and living at home

good GOD how do you let that happen

Nofap begins today lads

>>68583259
I know how to turn them off obviously, but you need to log in to the BT account to do that. You can't do it from the router.

>>68583303
did your mum turn on the parental controls as well?

>>68583295
thanks for the (You) but i am NOT 24 (yet)

>>68583211
Kek

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>tfw too intelligent to have a big willy

>>68583312
Yes I can
it's you who can't

just got a text from my mate in a leppo that pro-govt forces have appropriated the last hospital to turn it into a brothel

>>68582453
i made it 3 minutes in and still dont know why you posted it

>>68583318
yea didnt mean to quote m8
are you caralad and how old are you mate

>>68583211
reply to epic toast

include me in the screencap XD

>>68583313
Porn is cancer

>>68583347
ye and would rather not say my life is already embarrassing enough x

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>>68583157
>gets a job making students sandwiches
>gunna be a civil servant lmao

https://youtu.be/919IA_Lj0Ko

>>68583341
and what is a leppo?

how should I prep for my group interview for a runtail job

just told the missus to turn on the parental controls on the broadband to encourage her son to get a gf

Might cover myself in snow and lay on the roof of my house on Christmas Eve with my freshly shorn bollocks poking through the snow. As Father Christmas lands his sled on my roof there are a whole series of great opportunities. The sled might slide across the roof and smear my bollocks across the roof. Maybe Rudolph will trample them in to the tiles. Perhaps Old Saint Nick will step on them and as he feels my tender and chilled bollocks burst underfoot he will look down with a grimace as he wipes them across the roof in disgust. Whatever happens, even if I freeze to death, I will do so in the knowledge that it has been a very merry Christmas.

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everythings bigger in america

>inb4 and le people 2 xDDD

>>68583363
IN MY OPINION probably the funniest bbc series i've ever seen desu

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is it a coincidence we were next to each other? or did we push each other to new heights

Lads, I'll rub my willy extra hard for you tonight while watching tranny pe poo porn.

>>68583395
>https://youtu.be/sVe9zjO6-O8

This scene had me in stitches

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Put up parental control so my son would fuck off and live in his own place.

Why won't he leave?

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@68583385

Act like a wasteman

what is that
>walks toward you
meme all about

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>>68582446
Heh heh heh..

my ancestors... :'(

>>68583385
https://youtu.be/HUTCeK_yfbg?t=34s arabs are btofing americans at their own game

>>68583418
>>68583363
these are not funny

you have the sense of humour of an infant

thats not me

>>68583385
>continent with well over 350 million people
>everything is bigger than my small cramped overpopulated island with just over 60million people

Not a rocket scientist are you lad?

>>68583448
what do you think

walked in on my dad wanking to porn when I was a kid

still remember it vividly, he was on the computer under the stairs, when I walked in he had one hand cracking one off and the other browsing this website with a blue background, it had pictures of women that look like MILFs with proper hairy fannies, he shout at me to get out

>>68583473
>strawberry milkshake
>chocolate milkshake
>no, strawberry milkshake
>no straw berry milkshake

HOWLING man it had me in stitches. Maybe you just had to be there it was GENIUS.

>>68582446
>no andrew sachs
literal paki aren't you
fuck off

>>68582446
Know about three of those names (Wilder, Ali, Bowie)

>>68583486
walked in on my sister fapping once

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Can you fuckin morons not reply at 4 posts a second it's exactly 8 in the morning in the only relevant part of the world here

>>68583471
arabs have no culture though

>corbyn becomes labour leader
>suddenly all the unions want to go on strike for trivial reasons

hmmm yes surely merely a coincidence

>>68583514
she fit

>>68583485
why do you think im asking

>>68583514
>fapping
foy

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>>68583527

>>68583482
>>everything is bigger than my small cramped overpopulated island with just over 60million people

not fucking true i drove to loch lomond last year in scotland from london, the UK is fucking empty aside from the south/major cities
dunno why everyones always complaining we got decent amount of space why cant we just build houses there

>>68583527
Nor do Americans. At least Arabs have history. You don't even have that. I went to your country once and was disgusted that anicent history in America was three hundred years ago. Utterly reprehensible.

>>68583406
french empire was awful
mostly sand and niggers

>>68582446
nonce
nonce
nigger
definite nonce
child
who.png
women are funny get over it.mpv
nigger and muslim
ABSOLUTE nonce

Not a big loss to society there really

fuck off king

>>68583559
they're too busy praying 2bh

>>68583514
she say anything? never mentioned anything to my dad or mum about it, he's walked in on me wanking before though so we're even haha

>>68583569
literally every colonial empire

87
edgy la

>ywn go joyriding in a stolen ford cortina blasting 808 state and public enemy

Wish I was a teenager in the 80's lads

>>68583565
fuck off paki

>>68583565
>lets become a service industry completely reliant on foreign countries food to survive
>what could possibly go wrong
>oh? war?
>nah that wont happen im a millenial you see and we're living a new progressive time grandpa where war could NEVER happen get with the times fascist

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>>68583566
Bitch about muh culture and muh history all you want at least we can still save Western civilian

>>68583566
nobody gave a fuck about your desert wasteland until oil became a commodity

>>68583620
San Junipero made me wish I was in the 80s. Yorkie is my ideal woman.

>>68583632
Can't see us ever going to war with the US or Canada desu and as long as they're on our side we will always be able to import enough food.

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>>68583637
Civilization* gotta love mobileposting

>>68583637
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappearance_of_Madeleine_McCann#Smith_sighting

>yfw John Podesta literally took Maddie McCann

>>68583678
You're a god damned fucking imbecile and I assume you're a commie too because you have clearly not learned a thing from the 20th century

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>>68583710

>>68583587
you sicken me

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>>68583608
no

She wanted to try french kissing with me though

>>68583702
Germany tried to cut off supply lines in WWII but failed thanks to the leafs and the yanks (with considerable assistance from the Royal Navy of course).

>>68583566
Our history is european history as that's where our ancestors came from

>>68583729
hmm did you try it?

>>68583717
Name one thing any of them did that leaves the world a better place.

>can i get

Anyone who says this needs fucking necking.

>>68583786

Can not fucking stand this whole "Paki" or "Rasheed" thing

All it does is stifle any form of argument, most of the time it's not even about race or anything like that. Someone just says "hur paki" and that's it, argument over. It's the /brit/ equivalent of "racist homophobic bigot" favoured by the leftists

"Shan't be...." is just as bad as well. Grow up

>>68583735
>but failed

ah yes, the resident retard

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Who /metal/ here

>>68583798
haha yeah totally agree

*walks off to talk to someone else*

not a word

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>>68583771
3edgy5me

>>68583798
Shan't be reading this paki's post

>>68583831

>>68583798
fuck off paki

>>68583803
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Atlantic

>>68583821
NotAnArgument.mov

>>68583798
Rasheed

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>>68583877

>tfw get heart pains when wanking hard

>>68583845
no you're right lad, not an achievement among them

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>tfw you realise you've actually never seen your arsehole

>>68583892
Meaningful achievement? No.

>>68583909

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lasagna for breakfast

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>mfw I realise the south still exists

>>68583566
Please stop, jamal. America has quite a lot of rich history despite being only a country for 300 years.
No one cares about how long your ancestors have been fucking goats for.

>>68583900
See it every day on /brit/ when that bloody yank posts it fml

>>68583844
>783 submarines lost
>17 submarines lost

>175 warships

lol

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>>68583882
>have a bash
>get a leg cramp

>68583826
>68583832
>68583846
Ah yes, brilliant posts, you sure showed me

/brit/ is honestly just pathetic, it's embarrassing

68583909
Statistically should have gotten it sooner than this

>>68583941

68583941
'sheed

>>68583918
this is a top, top reaction image

may I save it?

@68583908
>(you) fishing this hard

>>68583941
Lebs were a mistake sorry guys this one got out of the cage

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>>68583941

>>68583928
Lots of civilian deaths though.

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>>68583982

>>68583928
>3500 merchant vessels
>741 aircraft
>who knows how much cargo

hate girls

>>68583900
i have, ive been curious a few times and look in the mirror with spread cheeks. NOT a pretty hole would not make a good twink

>>68584049

business idea: befriend girls in an attempt to learn more about them

>>68583929
Same
Sometimes when lying on my back while wanking I get foot cramps

>>68583961

Ye safe g

>>68583994
>>68584019
what i meant was i didn't think the ratios were that bad for the germans lol
>merchant vessels
yeah but they can't shoot back can they

Damn i hate being sober

The absolute state of it lads...
*goes back to reading the Financial Times*

>>68584031
Bit curious myself now, dont think I'd have a good hole either desu

watched the seinfeld episode about "shrinkage" and wondered if women really actually understand what happens to a cold willy.

asked at a predrinks the next day and only 1 girl understood. very concerning.

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>>68584091

>literally a leaf

>There are reports that pro-Syrian regime forces have been entering homes in the last remaining rebel strongholds in eastern Aleppo and killing civilians on the spot, the UN has said.

so called "moderate" civilians

>>68584104
You should start a campaign to educate people on the temperature dependence of willy size.

>>68584104
girls are dumb Tbh

wait no I can't say that it makes me sound like licky dicky

>>68584104
Girl don't know shit about dicks

you can tell them your 6 inch willy is 8 and they wouldn't know the difference

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>>68584050
>befriend girl
>she tells me in gory detail about how she needs surgery on her faulty vagina

not even once lad

>>68584104
>asked about the inner workings of his tiny cock at predrinks

No wonder you're a khv write off

Dixy Chicken do peng strips, bigger than Chicken Cottage as well in my experience

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Imagine looking like this

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FUCK KOJIMA THIS IS THE ONLY METAL GEAR GAME THAT MATTERS YES IT IS CANON

Plan

>write this final at 11:30
>come home and post a bit on /brit/
>sleep until the evening
>maybe go out for tacos and tequila to celebrate being finished the term
>if not, play call of duty all night

>>68584204
emperors new clothes...

>>68584101
it'd help if I shaved but it was also just a kind of rashy red

>>68584168
that isnt what i asked at all...

girl?

If I get turned down for a retail job I should just end it right?

>>68584212
feel free to skip the second one

remember 'lim?

good times boys good times

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>>68584246
sometimes i think about suicide but then i remember this

>>68584261
don't encourage it

>>68584204
rather not be a JF tyvm

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>>68584223
>rashy red
>rash reed
>rasheed

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>>68584251

sigh

>>68584290
Good find robin, we better exterminate this paki once and for all.

To the rorke mobile!

>>68584281
He's English

Anyone remember the yank girl who posted on /brit/ and made a bunch of vocaroos

>alri laaads how's everyone doing?
>dazza, shazza, glad you could make it
>and you raheem
>alri trace, yeah mine's the stella, nice one
>do you all understand that my willy gets very small when it's cold outside?

>>68584319
yeah heard he's quintessentially so

>>68584329
yes
t. her "official /brit/ crush" (her words)

not a big fan of the state of politics rn.

at the next general election i might just vote for a joke party, like the Monster Raving Loony Party, or the Fancy Dress Party, or the Labour Party

>>68584334
>no mention of unsheathing your personal pint glass you brought from home

0/10

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>>68584334

tired of leftists insulting president trump already

going to be a long 8 years...

>>68584374
just vote tactically for the party that's the least shit

lib dems maybe?

>>68584380
>p-please mention the shit gimmicks I involved myself in

>>68584380
I accidentally broke my pint glass last night

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I was feeling like shit an hour ago, now I'm happy again wonder how long it'll last for haha

>>68584419
Literally top 5 gimmick of all time

>>68584433
Tell us what happened lad

im dying, lads. halp

>>68584461
>Tell us what happened lad
I was getting some water from the sink and I misjudged things and rammed the glass into the sink
broken glass everywhere
fortunately I didn't cut myself

fortunately I have another pint glass

>>68584488
fuck off natasha you chernobyl freak

>>68584400
You literally have control of all the main branches government. Quit whining.

>>68584488
alri gay lad

>>68584496
>fortunately I have another pint glass

Good lad

>>68584488
be my girlfriend(male)

>>68584511
not our fault though

>tfw you have a cupboard of pint glasses

really should stop borrowing them from pubs

Ah yes, another boring Aussie wanker who got bullied off his own general thinks he can come to /brit/ and tell people what they can and can't post.

>>68584452
you bipolar or something lad?

thanks for You's, I missed 'em...

>>68584566
Anything that happens for the next four years is though haha enjoy

>>68584684

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>the british

Is Mickey half naked or does he wear a really well hidden black shirt?

>>68584569

Haha same lad, had a holiday to Belgium a while back nicked the fucking lot didnt I