/brit/

Kill me, Pete.

what do girls feel like

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>>68578115
warm apple pie

>>68578115
bags of sand

AHAHHAH I JUST RESPONDED TO THE PERSON IVE BEEN STALKING ON TWITTER FOR THE LAST MONTH, I'M PANICKING A LITTLE
REALLY NERVOUS I DON'T WANT TO GET BLOCKED AND I HOPE THEY DON'T THINK I'M A CREEP BECAUSE I NEVER TWEET MYSELF!!! HAHA XX

>>68578115
soft and mmmphhhff

Why is windows such a piece of shit? My computer was running slower than a paraplegic so I stuck in a USB running linux and now it feels brand new again

>muh video chaims
>muh photosheep

wtf is the point of using windows again?

how do i break up with my gf /brit/?

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have a strong suspicion i'm the product of infidelity lads

amazing that pieces of metal and plastic put together in a certain way are banned

>>68578156
how long have you been dating? why do you want to break up?

>>68578153
>wtf is the point of using windows again?

Gaming

like knives? this is brit after all

amazing that citizens of the united states of america are often penetrated by small metal projectiles for seemingly no reason

pengest munch is actually bare jokes bruv raaah

>>68578157
I know for a fact that I'm not since I'm the spittin image of me da

Definitely wasn't planned though

My parents shotgunned their marriage together after my mum got pregnant

>>68578153
not much unless you need compatibility with other windows boxes. for web browsing and general fucking about any linux flavour does the job superbly. its a much lighter cleaner OS ,it has some drawbacks but ones that arent going to affect you with general use.

>>68578160
this >>68578189 was meant for you whoops! :~)

>>68578168
Bit over 1.5 years, we've kinda grown apart and I she's too dependent on me for her own happiness and I think it's hurting both of us

>>68578160
>attach the wrong structure of polymers to the wrong shape of metal
>5 years in the slammer

really makes you think

>>68578153
updates and defragmentation

just reinstall your OS every couple of years and you'll be fine
better yet, put it on an SSD

crying here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA

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>>68578205
>tfw the flavour was dead

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imagine if /brit/ formed a london street gang

>>68578216
>we've kinda grown apart
>she's too dependent

have fun with that mate

>>68578192
at least we have guns

>>68578252
Who said anything about guns?

>>68578152
only girl I've ever hugged was surprisingly hard and rigid, she was really tall and lanky though

>>68578252
who says we don't?

>>68578250
We want different things in life but I don't want to hurt her too much.

Shits hard man

How do I increase the dankness of my memes whilst I'm cultivating them?

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no alcohol in the hous

>>68578252
we have lots of guns, anyone can own and shoot one who isnt blocked by mental health or previous crime issues. the difference is culturally they are seen as tools or sporting equipment not self defence or a right.

>send girl a message
>looks at my profile
>no reply

:(

>>68578284
Ur gay

>>68578290
meanie

>>68578153
im too dumb to understand linux

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got a tinder account going last week. no matches yet

any minute now boyos

>>68578302
>taking gay as an insult
homophone

>>68578153
videogames and photoshop

>>68578263
you need to hug a slightly chubby girl
one with a cute slight belly pooch

Did anyone watch Muslims Like Us

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>>68578314
>any day now

>>68578260
>>68578264
>>68578281
Ah yes, you all have fallen right into my trap. I've learned something from Germans and their Mosques.

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the so called "gf"

>>68578314
I always wanted to make one just to see what kind of people I get matched with, friends always tell me stories about it
But I don't want to be seen by people I know on it so no thanks

Well it's off to the grind. See you at 5 o clock boyos

>>68578335
Is that an actual show or are you trying to ruin my morning

>>68578351
Your FB friends cannot see you on tinder by default

>>68578360
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b085zxxk/muslims-like-us-episode-1

>>68578357
Runescape?

was conceived while my parents were separated lmao

and no they didn't get back together

>>68578370
>BBC

just wow

>>68578370
Watched that last night, muslims can't even agree on an interpretation.

>>68578365
Yes they can

I've come across several lasses that I'm friend on Facebook with on Tinder

>>68578346
>oh shit nobody got my reference and now I look stupid
>damage control

Doing a very alcohol-heavy poo, can literally smell the Jack Daniels

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>>68578397

>>68578394
There is a toggle-able setting and you have it on then. Not sure when it came out mind.

just did a vomit
bad feel

>>68578398
>Jack Daniels
fun fact: you can't buy that shit in the county they're headquartered in
god bless the south

can you make a tinder with a fake facebook?

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>>68578398
My poos are scent free because I didn't ingest excessive levels of alcohol last night

>>68578314
>tinder
ah yes, the ultimate tool for showing you that your standards are far higher than those someone as ugly as you should be allowed to have. deleted my account.

thinkin about setting up a fake tinder girl account to see what my competition lookin like

cbf but

so many dutch and scandi stunners where I'm at. 'ree' so to speak

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>>68578428
>he doesn't have a facebook and yet he thinks he can make it on tinder

Consider necking yourself

>>68578425
Why not?
>>68578429
And yet my heart is full because i was with a woman all night
Checkmate

>>68578425
Good

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CANNOT understand how flirting works

watching gladiator (the boxing film)
fight coreography is shite but besides that its really good. Very dark

>>68578444
im a full blown normtron that has an active sex life, i just dont want to put myself out there on tinder and link it to my fb

>>68578451
>heart is full
>not bollocks are empty
bender

>>68578456
Make fun of her a little and then vaguely suggest how spending time with each other would lead to kissing and other such nonsense

me with the goatee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbI_04n3lLU&t=16s

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>>68578464
>im a full blown normtron that has an active sex life

>>68578469
Working on it m8 don't be rude

A non-believer asked a Muslim man: Why do your women cover their bodies and their hair? The Muslim man smiled and took two sweets, he opened one and kept the other closed. He threw them both on the dirty floor and then asked: If I asked you to take one of the sweets, which one would you choose?

The man paused and replied: The covered one.

Then the Muslim man said: That’s how we see and treat our women.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c10clsd9Tgs

>>68578476
id be too depressed/dead by suicide to lie about such things if i was recluse NEET

>>68578489
Throwing them on the dirty floor?

>>68578489
Muslim women are shit sweets, all inbred with Jew noses and pooey skin, no thank you

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Sister called me ugly again

>>68578489
had a westernised egyptian cockslut tell me the same parable

>>68578489
A brit sai to Indian, "Can you swim?"
Indian said "no"
Brit say "Even a dog can swim!"
Indian said "can you swim"
Brit said "Yes!"
Indian sayd "Then you're no better than a dog!"

>>68578544
Is she fit?

>>68578489
muslims treat their women like inanimate pieces of food?

lads

only have one more take home exam (2 short papers) and then I'm doneeeeeeee

going to get absolutely plastered and come on /brit/ when I'm done

He come to me with money in his hand
He offered me, I didn't ask him
I wasn't knocking someone's door down, I was running from that
When I got out, I was in that
I was already through that, I had that
I had the studio, I went to the studio
I went to Vox Studios. I had it all, and I looked at it and said, 'This is a bigger jail than I just got out of.'
I don't want to take my time going to work
I got a motorcycle and a sleeping bag
And ten or fifteen girls
What the hell I wanna go off into -- and go to work for?
Work for what, money? I got all the money in the world
I'm the king, man
I run the underworld, guy
I decide whos does what and where they do it at
What am I, gonna run around and act like I'm some teenybopper somewhere, for somebody else's money?
I make the money, man, I roll the nickels
The game is mine
I deal the cards.

>>68578547
not sure how dog is an insult
dogs are better than most people

there's a toothpaste posting in the old thread wondering where everyone has gone hahahhahhahahha

>>68578562
It's called being Alpha

>>68578562
And they don't even eat pussy, benders

>>68578451
>why not
It's a dry county. No alcohol is allowed to be sold there.

>>68578547
>799k likes

>>68578582
20k upvotes

>>68578581
Ah yes, American """"Freedom""""

just woke the mum up with the vuvuzuela

who /ramen/ here

currently drinking the broth from a spicy beef

>>68578602
*shoots you in the face with a shotgun*

>>68578595
I also cannot buy it in my county.
Also no alcohol sales on Sunday.
God bless.

>>68578602

she didn't get enough tendies last week?

>>68578603
why is foreign food infinitely better than western food?

>>68578570
what the fuck?

>>68578595
Many precincts of Chicago on the South Side are dry, it's usually always the poor places.

>>68578603
gunna do this now

I just wish one bowl of noodle soup wasnt like 140% of daily salt allowance

>>68578614
The Lord did not forbid alcohol, what you're doing is heresy
>>68578618
Because it's not

>>68578614
screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeching

>>68578614

based on wikipedia you're either in MO or OK

>>68578613
rude tbqh
>>68578616
yes

>>68578623
do not reply to me

>>68578618
westerners doing foreign dishes > western food > power gap > foreign food

>>68578629
whats the point when you can get on the subway and get liquor? is it to avoid having liquor stores in areas with lots of robberies?

>>68578633
>The Lord did not forbid alcohol
American religion is weird on the subject.

Really interesting given that 19th-century America was Russia-tier, which is why Prohibition was a progressive movement.

>>68578630
Don't add the seasoning packet and instead season it yourself with things like parley and chilis

The noodles themselves aren't very high in sodium

>>68578637
Same state Jack Daniel's is located.
God bless.

>>68578642
Yeah, pretty much. Also to clean up the place a little.

>>68578660
Quite a nice way to end your posts i must say

Dog bless,

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>>68578678
Don't profane our Lord Jebus Christ

I have started a 20 minute discussion about religion and US law solely by pooing

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>>68578637
Wrong!

Morning lad

apparently other anglo countries don't say "shot" as a complement

really made me think

for real though, /brit/ is a Christian general. we will be saying prayers on christmas eve, so start practicing.

wish i had seeked help for my depression in high school

>>68578702
>Georgia Zealand

starting to think leftists are elaborate trolls

>>68578711
No one cares about soccer m8 fuck off

mum is mad about the vuvuzuela

>>68578702
imagine living in a dry county haha

must be like living under sharia law

>>68578711
in what context? i know its said when someones actually aiming for something and hit it well

went to the beach today

>>68578702
What's wrong with Georgia

>>68578702
>that one dry county in South Dakota
hmm

>>68578702

Utah is a big surprise

>>68578740
Most of those are such that the county is dry but municipalities within the county are not which means that alcohol sales are limited to within town limits

I live in one such county

>>68578751
humans don't live there, only georgians

>>68578740
Drove through a dry county once wearing a short sleeve shirt. I got rocks thrown at me for showing my elbows

>>68578740
You either don't care about it and don't drink or drive to the next county. For what it's worth, the South does have the lowest rates of Alcoholism in the country, one of its few positives.

>>68578758
Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, I believe.

How come wanking feels so good?

>>68578743
just as a complement in general, like if you do well on a test someone will just say "Shot!"

Its a very common figure of speech, pretty much the default complement over here, and I only just found out it's unique to NZ

>>68578774
They have some weird rules about selling it in restaurants and stuff, but no outright bans IIRC.

>>68578776
I don't.
I actually live in a moist county, so I can buy beer.
But no hard liquor for me unless I drive to the next county over.
God bless.

>>68578740

You should know, living in Germany.

>>68578790
Lads need an answer

>>68578818
There it is

I just finished masturbating and this last one was probably the best masturbating experience ever. When I was ejaculating and the moments after, I had the greatest feeling that i've ever felt. So what causes the good feeling when you masturbate (ejaculate). Can't wait till my next session!

>>68578798
that sounds fucking stupid, sort your life out

>>68578837
Refractory period, I guess.

>Ontario has a fucking commie monopolistic system of alcohol sale controlled by our shit government

ah yes, the joys of paying $20 for a fucking six pack of leffe

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Bit of a cutie

if god didn't mean for us to enjoy ourselves why did he create speed, mdma and LSD?

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Writing an essay about the Finno-Korean Hyperwar lads.

>>68578848
So do ~17 States, tbqh

>>68578848
How much is a 750ml bottle of decent rum?
Here a good brand is around $18 USD, give or take a few dollars.

>>68578853
That was always a stupid, reddit-y meme

>>68578842
Watch your mouth cunt, I'm 5'2 and built like a Filipino MMA fighter, I will OBLITERATE your existance with a mere blink of the eye

>>68578852
As temptations

>>68578853
*Gives you an A+ on the essay*

>>68578871
*Gives you an F- on that post*

>>68578087
Does this khajiit has wares?

>>68578798
NEVER heard of this tbqh

>>68578879
if you have coin

>>68578851
Who is this?

>>68578878
temptation for what?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7YF0ybJNeU

>>68578893
To deviate from the true and righteous path.

>>68578798
They do it in Ireland too

>>68578869

about $25 for the bottom shelf, $30-60 for better stuff. so I guess it's not that far off

>>68578888
my proto-gf

fun fact: there are more muslims than christians

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>Atheism-is-Unstoppable

fun fact: there are more than twice as many Americans as resident of the other five eyes countries combined

>>68578904
That's not bad at all, at least.

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>>68578869
Plantation Rum is really the best I've had in that price bracket

Bourbon is my go to though with Canadian whisky being second

Hoping for a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle for Christmas x

>>68578900
Soberness isn't true or righteous

>>68578949
Excuse you, it is the only way ordained by GodJebus you filthy HEDONIST

>>68578946
1.5k bottle of booze

foy off fob

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>foy

>>68578976
Jesus loved wine though

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>>68579003
I told you not to dispute the teachings of GodJebus reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>68579003
Wine in that time referred to GRAPE JUICE

>>68578946
Might have to try this if an anon recommended it. x

>>68578946
Yeah, $18 isn't high-end at all, but it's what I usually buy. Although I've enjoyed bottles at $12 so maybe I have no taste or something.
I've never tried Plantation, might pick it up for fun.

>>68579037
>implying Jesus was black
WE

Racists BTFO

http://dailyoccupation.com/2016/12/01/20-million-muslims-march-isis-mainstream-media-completely-ignores/

>>68578930
So unlikeable even other atheists hate him

>>68579037
does this mean grape drank is symbolically christ's blood?

sheiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

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>>68579038

>>68579056
and what is this article supposed to prove

>>68579056
Yeah m8 those are Shias, ISIS kill them

>>68579056
dont they do that every year

>>68579054
LMAO

>>68579066
>scientology
>a religion
idiot

"in da club" by 50 cents is actually a very good song

lyrically he's nothing to marvel at but he more than makes up with it with a unique and master-level flow

>>68579073
>hurr durr i can't read

>>68579041
>>68579052
You should they could easily charge top shelf price for it that's how good it is

Spotted a thick nigger, lads>>68579098

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>>68579118

no alcohol at ALL in the house

>>68579098
>50 cents

>>68579128
Jamal, post a picture of what is outside your window

>>68579130
'sheed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byNlqUFddeo

need a gf (gimmickfriend)

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JAMAL!!!!!!!!!!1

How do I improve my handwriting, lads? It's fucking awful

dunno why they have way more coed soccer leagues in my town than just men's leagues

made doubly stupid that they play by an unspoken rule of matching the women up with the women on the pitch

>>68579203
Take the pencil and swiftly pierce your jubblies till they swell up like a grapefruit

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>>68579189
Yes?

>>68579216
Not into that bollock-busting malarkey

>>68579203
Write "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" then take a pic and post it lad.

Dreading my politics tutorial today Tbh. Have to make a presentation about Brexit, don't want to seem like a racist sexist homophobe

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really makes you think

>>68579263
Bender, just be honest you mong, it's a political course, not r*ddit

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>>68579234

>>68579263
>don't want to seem like a racist sexist homophobe

well as long as you voted remain you wont

>>68579263
already been pro brexit in front of my class haha, class doesnt have any proper hardcore lefties thankfully but it is full of rasheeds but the rasheeds arent as bothered about brexit as the white people

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>>68579300

>>68579287

academia is mostly leftist, and though they may claim to be neutral, many professors are pretty obvious in their bias.

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20 years from now the runts will be shitposting on the 'chon and we'll be saying how we were pro-brexit before they were even born

>>68579318
>he think 4chan will be around in 20 years

>>68579318

God help us if we're still here in 20 years.

hopefully the site will have gone bankrupt and folded long before then

>>68579309
reality has a leftist bias

just brushed my teeth and flossed now it's off to bed

night lads :) x

>>68579318
>runts wait 20 years to post on 4chan
if only

>>68579333
I genuinely believe I'll still be here, honestly it isn't such a bad thing.

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>>68579300
FFS

This thread is utter wank today, usually at this time it's amusing

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>>68579337

really wanna beat up some yanks 2bh lads

>>68579318
The Donald plans on "controlling the internet"
4Chan might not even make it 4 years

>>68579359
Excellent addition to the thread

>>68579303
My gf already blurted out that i voted brexit and also convinced my dad to, to her mum who's some metropolitan liberal with like 4 properties in London. That didn't go down too well. At least not being fully white helps with the whole racism thing

>>68579375
a lot of leftism is based on a trying-to-be-nice-to-absolutely-everyone sort of ethos so the lad's kind of right tbf

>>68579381
by that he means shutting down neoliberal commie forums

>>68578087
Kill me, Petey

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good morning lads

being myself lads

hopefully it pays off

Eating my left over lahmacun i didn't finish after a night out last night. Who knew turkish food was so good.

>>68579402
>neoliberal commie forums

wtf am i reading

>>68579402
and what happens when he catches wind if people here bashing him? He couldn't even handle his VP being lightly referenced at a play. One screencap of an anti-Trump post and it's over.

>>68579473
i've honestly never seen an american bash trump. only europeans do it

>>68579468
""""""Cultural Marxism"""""""

>>68579492
he's a faggot

>tfw animals and people have been fucking nonstop for over 3 billion years
>the culmination of all that lust and instinct-driven sex is me
>I will NEVER pass on their genes
ah yes

>>68579493
putting neo-liberal and commie in the same sentence is retarded

>>68579504
that's not really bashing 2bh

>>68579492
Are you new?

>>68579492
are you blind?

>>68579517
nu-liberals are literal socialists you silly leaf

>>68579505
>animals and people have been fucking
>the culmination of all that lust and instinct-driven sex is me
didn't know your dad was a kiwi, thought your hair was a bit curly tbf

>>68579505
>sexual reproduction is 3 billion years old

umm dont think do sweetie x

at the airport lads

going to do a sleep bye

>don't think do

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>>68579492
Reminder Trump lost the popular vote by several million

>>68579545
Would deck you if I ever saw your cuntish little face in Brisbane

>>68579565
dey do doe don't dey doe

there's this proper smelly fat cunt with a bumbag on at the airport lads

sounds like a yank based on his laboured breathing

can't sleep
guess i just have to hangout here haha

>>68579573
>Would deck you if I ever saw your cuntish little face in Brisbane

you literally couldn't

>>68579540
>ignorant of the definition of a neo-liberal
>calling me a silly leaf

stick to calling everyone you dont like an SJW you thick piece of shit

still haven't wanked tonight ffs

>>68579492
are you stupid?

Sharks are my favourite dangerous and edgy animal

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>>68579530
>>68579523
>>68579573
>>68579610
>>68579629

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woah!!!!

>>68579492
are you fat?

>>68579617
well we'll have to do something about that won't we
*rubs your willy*

>>68579573
>tweet
Well he's not exactly wrong if some of them are going against him as the one who won the election.

>>68579676
please be a boy

>>68579638
When I was 7 I had to draw two animals I liked put together. I drew an alligator crossed with a shark and added a bunch of spikes for extra edge

>its a dumb yank episode

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>>68579672
mako sharks are mesotherms

>>68579688
That tweet was from 2012 when the republicans lost desu

Trump has the mentality of an 8 year old spoilt child desu

60% of my grade in a 2 hour time slot

Ah yes, finals

still have mako filtered from years back when the autist would reply with MAKO to every anime post

>>68579736
fascinating

>>68579700
Shan't be reading a single word

>>68579736
Interesting

>>68579699
i used to draw a sweet land shark who had legs
>>68579709
WTF i didn't know that

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>drumpf is racist and his supporters are stupid and poor
>the US is weak
>china is taking over the world
>democracy doesn't work
>capitalism is evil
>white people are evil

just about sums up every leaf i've ever seen

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pic related

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who this nikka????
smash the mf like if u kno this nigga

Why don't girls like me

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who gave him a santa hat lol

>>68579837
You're not very interesting

>>68579850
post christmas sharks

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this one is just a little silly x

Some indian autist is being autistic in the uni Facebook network

I just got absolutely MASSACRED. I have never failed an exam as decisively as I just did. I'll have to resit it in August. There goes my vacation.

It's not even January yet and I'm embarrassing myself

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keep getting some crazy captchas xD
hope i get the 4chan pass for x-mas like i asked

>>68579905
tell us what happened lad

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>>68579913
1/?

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>>68579939
2/?

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dangerous lack of non-cartoon santa-hat wearing shark material out there lads, be careful
i'd make some OC but i'm not good at photoshop
i'll bet that nerd thailad can do it

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>>68579939

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>>68579962
3/?

>Indian bloke actually being social on social media
>shut in leaf mocks him behind his back
yeah what a twat right

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>>68579979
4/?

>>68579982
this, Indians are bro tier

>>68579970
I have it on good authority that he does it all the time, but hordes them and never shares :(

>3 hours allotted for the exam
>leave after an hour, looking real confident, doing the McGregor walk, as to convince people I'm just THAT smart
>literally just ruined my life and nobody suspects a thing

Ah, I'm such a master deceiver lads

>>68579982
at least he's got the right provider

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>>68580004
5/?

0004
ah yes amazing profile image there

>>68580004
you seriously have that as your profile pic? jfc

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Alim N loves anime

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>>68580019
Did this once and overheard someone say lankey twat as I walked out

some retard just virgin walked out of a 3-hour exam after an hour

went to make a cup of coffee and ended up cleaning the kitchen

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>>68580056
>Did this once and overheard someone say lankey twat as I walked out

went to buy belgian chocolates and ended up leaving the EU

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Some 1st year kid offed himself in the dorms lads

nah this indian guy is bro tier fuck off leaf

>68580094
should've been you

>2 devout muslim pakis at my work bought their own microwave for the office, for "halal products only"
>just used it to heat up my bacon butty

haha whoops

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Indians are solid dudes to drink with

>implying Indians don't have the best banter
Canadians are just salty they're the runts of the Commonwealth.

I don't even know why half these people go to my uni lads, all the rich kids could probably get a high paying job with their parents help without getting a degree.

whats the newest meme doing the rounds on 4chan?

>all these curry munching twats ITT shilling for their homeland

>>68580019
Kek, what happened you bloody mong?

>68580094
shan't be giving you any (you)s for being mean to brownbro

Alim my son

>>68580130
fantastic banter

nice to see so many indian faces...in india

- Nigel Farage

>>68580140
>not sure why people who have no purpose in life anyway waste 3-4 years of their adult life instead of getting a job

>>68580156
I just didn't prepare well. It was a disaster of Biblical proportions.

I can resit in August though. But if I fail then I'll literally have to neck myself.

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>>68580141
pic very related

>>68580156
got called racist in greggs on the way to the exam and it just threw me off completely