Welcome to the dark art of social manipulation. You get a thick,

>>68576146
fuck off faggot, no one wants your advice

3. Have Patrick Batemen tier level of hygiene, dress style and fitness. People subconsciously want to associate with winners. After all nobody respects a fat slob with bitch tits. Since you have the discipline and will power to dress well with impeccable hygiene, what other amazing things you have in your life, they wonder. Curiosity will drive them to WANT to be your friend. It's no secret that people judge by appearance - use this to your advantage.

4. Develop a caricature version of yourself. People get famous on TV by playing a role - David Rempsey is famous for throwing a tantrum, PieDiePew is famous for screaming at the screen like a autistic (he made $7 millions off youtube last year), Simons from American Idol is famous for making mean comments at bad contestants. You can make yourself known as the "funny and intelligent guy" or "the guy who travels the world" or "the guy who is popular with the ladies" The worse thing you can is the boring nobody. Never express your insecurities and fears. Let people see the caricature you.

5. Send them a happy birthday card and New Year card, via email or post card. Create a template for your class mates or co-workers to save time. Something like "It's been a pleasure working with you. Who's awesome? You're awesome. I wish you the best of luck and make this an amazing year. See you at work tomorrow!"

>>68576193
>>>/r9k/

go cry about tfw no gf

mind I get dubs ITT m8?

6. Got an invitation? Turn them down. Since normies are boring, you want to strategically hang out with them. For every 2 invites the send, turn down one. This implies you're a busy person who values your time and hence, people will treat you with respect. All of this is done without saying a word.

7. Only say positive or neutral things about people. Never gossip, even if you have seething contempt for them. It's easy to talk behind a co-worker's back. But the person you're gossiping with thinks you talk shit about him also. Remain neutral on the topic, even if you have a strong opinion.

8. Your time has high value. Never get used by people who repeatedly ask you for requests but give no value in return. Turn them down by saying no. Tell them you're not an expert in this subject matter. Never ever waste your time with a fucking pleb. Occasionally you'll come across an idiot - never argue or pick a fight. Nod your head, smile and locate the nearest exit.

9. Appear to have no agenda, even if you have one. People have a hard time buying from a sale man but an easy time buying from a friend. You want to come across as genuine and sincere. Don't try too hard to offer help or freely give people things (remember the try hard kid in class who always raise his hand first or brown nose the teacher by offering help?) Be selective in giving your time, money and praises. Strange fact in life: the more you give people free stuff/time/effort, the more likely they are to abuse you.

>>68576223
feel free but im about to get some

check 'em

The leaf is right

But I'm pretty sure he's paraphrasing a book

>>68576241
this is valuable advice

>>68576265
post more

>>68576273
that's all folks

>MFW r9kies will post tfw no gf instead of reading this

b

canada should be nuked

>>68576807
t. r9k

g