/brit/

>watching a man get his arsed licked

down with the traitors

smoking the finest

first for the decline of the american empire

Real talk: American Office >>> British Office

there are people trying to steal my limelight as the one and true grime poster of /brit/

if you're talking the hardest

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>>68514588
The gf rubbed my butthole when I came on her face last night

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kay-on

reckon the runts need a good beating today

Who /wittertainment/ here?

>Americans unironically think their country isn't on a crash course

>>68514590
freedom for britain

Fight of the year

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCvhlS8Vc5g

>>68514650
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtMwmepBjTSG593eG7ObzO7s

>>68514635
giggs bare come up in ya thoughts as an artist

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>>68514634

John is patrician as fuck

>>68514561
hoping this is OC and not a copypasta
masterfully done x

>>68514638
>>68514640
quite the contrast

>>68514692
half of the crowd's all snorting my charlie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMhYZeoXWhw

>tfw girls can literally paint a new face on their existing face

mental

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peng ting

>>68514697
>>68514701
quite the contrast

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Outlaw star.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Di6N4KF16qA

makes you think

this new was well too quick

shall be telling the custodian shortly

right now giggs is holdin down the rap game init

Making poop in the toilet

>>68514717
I can stick my fat cock in your mother's pussy and make her scream and shake on the bed with pleasure

mental

need a tight vagina gf

>gf asks me if i want some food
>five minutes later asks me the same thing
>is surprised when i tell her to shut the fuck up
i swear nagging is the national sport of bints

>>68514726

It's a shame she's a fucking mong

>>68514787
just get a big dick faggot

>>68514747

>announcing reports

enjoy your ban

>>68514695
ehh

yorkshire's split up into 4 different parts though

literally do not have any national identity

my dad is south american. My mum is eastern european. I was born and raised in southern europe and now Im in this island studying to get a good job. When people ask me where I'm from Idk what to say

>>68514588
>watching a man get his dick licked

I'm so out of touch with so-called "meme culture" desu, i'm only aware of 4chan memes
I only found out about Lazy Town, Ear rape and "what's up guys, Scarce here" like an hour ago because I accidentally read some YouTube comments

I feel like an old person

just got back from the gfs

tucking into beans on toast right now

life is great 2bh

hmmmmm

http://www.strawpoll.me/11852445

http://www.strawpoll.me/11852445

http://www.strawpoll.me/11852445

>>68514843
London

>>68514843
fun fact: countries don't have a singular homogenous culture/identity

>>68514827

it's also full of corrupt police, paedos and murderers

>>68514876
t. Justin Trudeau

>>68514863
I will kill you

>>68514843
tell them you're everything wrong with EU immigration and thank God it's over.

>>68514859
what a pleasant fellow

Cowgirl is fucking dangerous tbqh, come instantly in that position.

@843

I don't susbcribe to any nationalities. I was raised in a primordial stew of diverse cultures. My home is where my mind is.

>>68514843
you are from whatever country in south europe you didn't name

Where can I get some peng munch?

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grandad gave me this phone

what you think lads?

>>68514887
but he's right
about canada especially

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>>68514859
very nice guy

hope liverpool do a goal
need wet spam to get relegated

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hope this warms your heart xx

>>68514826
hm if you count my post as announcing a report then your post counts as announcing a report of my announcing a report

really makes you think

>>68514915
Cowgirl is easily one of the least stimulating positions. What are you on?

Dot Rotten - Its Over (Ft Wileys Mum)

>>68514963
i announced nowt mate

Saoirse will die soon.

>>68514843
Just say your dad is from the country he's from, your mum is from the country she's from, and you were born and raised in the country you were born and raised from

that should satisfy most people

>>68514880
*south

>>68514980
Wiley - soundboy killer (produced by blizzard) ended him tbqh

falling from grace cause I've been here way too long

can't decide if my facial hair is good or not

just shaved for first time in 2 weeks and dunno if i like being clean shaven better or not now :/

>>68514843
just show them your passport

>>68514966
this

cowgirl is fucking shite

>Friday night midnight deadline for coursework
>Finish it at 11:30pm
>Upload it as quickly as possible because I don't want to miss the deadline, at our uni once you miss it you're capped at a pass
>After 5 minutes I realise that instead of uploading my coursework to turnitin I uploaded my 10 page incest story about some dude having a threesome with his mum and his sister instead
>Once you've gone past the deadline you can't change what you've uploaded

Been fucking bricking it all weekend lads, what do I do?

>>68515006
pics

i'm a lyrical father name an mc that spits harder

>>68514983
same here lol

>>68515027
ghetts

>>68515019
i will not

>when the gf's sister says you're really attractive

errmmmmm

>I was born in europe (not saying which country because then you would be able to tell me which country I am from) :P

fucking hate that little cunt so much

>>68515058
>when the gf's mum says you're really attractive

ooerrrr

>>68515056
k

>>68515031
>shall be telling the custodian shortly

>>68515076
ok

>>68515006
Pics

all women are whores

masturbating unironically feels better than sex. you can get a much better pump and don't have to worry about the other person

>>68515017
Just act like that was your actual coursework and refuse to budge on the matter

It's already too late, might as well become "that guy"

>>68515077
didn't say reporting did i haha

i'm gonna pop round his gaff and give him a shout you muppet

>>68515058
>>68515074
not everything a woman says is sexualised. autists.

>>68514865
pretty conclusive

>>68515088
this

gal are locked in like dem man are hard

>>68515010
>>68514966
erm fuck off, k? ;)

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>when your gf realises you're a out of her league and starts getting insecure

>>68515112
>not everything a woman says is sexualised.

yes it is you fucking aspie

>>68515109
whats his address? so i can come and beat the shit out of yo...him.

>>68514915
In Ella Hughes Fake Agent scene the guy cums early and she goes "did you have an accident?" worth a watch

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thoughts on doggos?

>>68515125
Unironically this

>>68515097
this desu
sex is just too much effort if she doesn't want to go on top
I'd rather wank than have sex but I'll have sex with the gf to not piss her off

>>68515138
font

>>68515017
>finish at 11:30pm
>upload it as quickly as possible (i'll give you 5 minutes), so it's 11:35pm
>realise at 11:40pm
what's the problem?

>>68515138
>when you cheat on your gf who's out of your league with a slug

BONUS OPTION ON THE POLL:

Go eat alone in the Turkish restaurant down the road

thoughts?

>>68515147
best animals desu

>>68515147
>manlets finally learn

white girl - angelina jolie
sutten in the cup - my dargies blow weed

>>68515147
Medium-big doggos are the best
Small doggos are just rats people carry in bags

If I go into Starbucks or Costa with my own mug and ask them to put in three shots of espresso and top it up with a little bit of milk would they do it? That's all I like.

/brit/ is what you make of it

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Feeling particularly hard right now lads, just pulled a couple of hairs out my nose without so much as a wince

>>68515146
literally me this morning tbqh.

>>68515190
eat the old food before you forget about it/ it goes off

>>68515214
that's a big girl

>>68515171

When you submit coursework you can't change it for 24 hours, so once you're within 24 hours of the deadline you can only upload once.

>>68515218
the key to /brit/ is quick decision making on which posts you're going to read or not

>>68515239
sounds like you're lying to me

>>68515214
1,3,2

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>>68515212
>my own mug

>>68515212
Why does it have to be your own mug?

>>68515214
fucking hell, pls don't beat me up.

>>68515228
it's frozen you berk.

>>68515144
37 Bow St, BT28 1BN

come round bins at 7pm sharpish and i'll bray ever living shite out your every orifice

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yo I'm a rapper
piss fuck shit
word 2 da gangstas on the west side
east side wat wat
shit arse bastard wank
404 page not found
smoking weed with tupac tupac
west side is best side
just screaming oh hi mark
word up

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>>68515219
good game
made me laugh alot

>>68515214
3>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>1=2

only manlets disagree

>>68515212
Probably. If anyone asks why you're doing it, just say you're being environmentally friendly.

Just make sure to only order the three shots and then go back to the station with the milk and cream to fill it up yourself. Or they might charge you more for the milk otherwise.

>>68515212
when there's no one else in the kitchen at work i will fill my coffee cup up with like 6 expresso shots and a tiny bit of milk

only drink it to keep me awake desu

>>68515214
I am not impressed so I will not be ranking them

>>68515299
considering going to work tomorrow wearing that.

my favourite drink is sugary milk

>>68515347
2 is a qt

>>68515352
What colour do you dye it/

wicked wicked jungle is massive

>>68515366
none its better if its just gold top with 4-5 teaspoons of sugar

just found this on random wiki article
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiskey_Dick,_Oregon
had a chuckle

>>68515366
Rock

>>68515147
humanity's best and most loyal friend for 10,000 years, who has worked alongside us on the hunt, in the fields and comforts us in the home.
a valuable and heart-warming symbiosis of their evolving species and our evolving societies.

people who dont like them, e.g. muslims, are anti-human and have something wrong with their brain.

>>68515343
Same desu, love really strong coffee.

>>68515418
i just enjoy being wired

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>about to demolish another box of mince pies
>been eating absolutely direly over the past couple of weeks
>decide to weigh myself
>67kg, down from 69kg a couple of weeks ago
>mfw people actually become fat
bloaters on faticide watch

>>68515399
>jungle is massive
reeeeee

http://www.strawpoll.me/11852592
http://www.strawpoll.me/11852592
http://www.strawpoll.me/11852592
http://www.strawpoll.me/11852592
http://www.strawpoll.me/11852592

^answer

Business Idea: Start a youtube channel reviewing chicken shops in London

booty, having some booty, a mans butt, was more important than drinking water man

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Can't do THIS in the UK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHeSC_Ws5Ic
Can't drive THESE in the UK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbbR-VxBJ28
Can't get ANY OF THESE in the UK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcMNvCud_SQ
Imagine trying THIS in the UK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89UliEiQQyU&t=270s
THIS isn't even up for debate in the UK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-0aRh7zRhE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yHyosAZ5IU

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>humanity's best and most loyal friend for 10,000 years, who has worked alongside us on the hunt, in the fields and comforts us in the home.
>a valuable and heart-warming symbiosis of their evolving species and our evolving societies.
>people who dont like them, e.g. muslims, are anti-human and have something wrong with their brain.

>>68515450
baited this exact response

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>in the car with my 12 year old cousin and other family members
>cousin is chubby and pressing up right next to me while trying to put her seatbelt in
>"is it in yet?"
>can feel her body warmth for the entire journey

makes me VERY uncomfortable

might review all the chicken shops in selly

>>68515453
I live in a rented house with housemates :)

Your poll is inadequate, boycotted.

>>68515487
nonce

>>68515470
triggered rasheed

>>68515468
yes yes they get it

you don't have to rub it in

>>68515487
utter nonce

>>68515487
nonce

>>68515493
review mr egg

>>68515500
not doing that lol

Where are some good places to go on a city break for a night or two in Britain? Will be going first week in January

>>68515509
>>68515526
>>68515529
I'm not a nonce

>>68515547
southend pier

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>LIVERPOO

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>>68515487

>>68515500
can't be arsed doing that but I think I've been to more countries than I have counties

tucking into a cadbury creme egg

>>68515547
what are you looking for?

>>68515556
closet nonce

>>68515505

Your parents do not count as housemates

>>68515556
that's EXACTLY what a nonce would say

>>68515568
my keys mate have you seen them?

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dins

>>68515568
a city break for a night or two

>>68515500
no idea desu
the famo went on a lot of caravan holidays when i was younger so i've been quite a lot of counties but couldn't really say which

>>68515547
Grimsby
Horsham
York

>>68515566
>creme eggs
>in winter
fucking yanks

>>68515592
Desklad?

>>68515592
slow cooker beef stew lad?

Is anyone on here a legit racist?

>>68515594
>caravan holidays
the bane of my childhood/early teenage years

fucking hated those

does strawpoll not automatically update results for anyone else anymore? have to refresh manually now

>>68515547
Brighton is a good laugh and shit tons to do. Jan will be a bit breezy and less busy so plenty of deals i expect on hotel n shit.

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>>68515309
>tone shift in the last couple of chapters
>actually feeling like a horror game leading up to the TWEEST
>that body horror scene
>drops a pun out of fucking nowhere at the height of it

Thanks, nearly forgot what game I was playing there

>>68515547
brum
stay in the hyatt

if you check the archives you will see that i literally started the radical centrist gimmick, around october 2015

why does durham get so much flak here?

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>>68515500
southerner master race
went to brum once, shan't be going back, architecture was intimidatingly bad

>>68515622
yup, but only ironically

>>68515593
will we get single beds or a double?

>>68515592
>nu-male teapot

bin yourself post-haste.

>>68515622
don't think so

i just don't like foreigners, but i don't think one race is superior to another, which is the definition of racism

>>68515647
alright timothy james byrne calm the fuck down

>>68515652
it drowns students

>>68515560
fucks sake
as much as i hate scousers, i want wet spam to get relegated more

>>68515612
>desk isn't littered with empty booze cans and fag ends

unlikely.

>>68515618
Aye, life saver.

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was going to get extremely drunk tonight and have a comfy as fuck lie-in in the morning, but my dad just rang me and needs me to drop him off at the golf course at 8 in the morning to do whatever the fuck it is people do at the golf course at 8 in the morning

AAAARRRGHHHH JESUS CHRIST

>>68515668
we can go for a double :x

coked out in broad daylight

>>68515663
>has literally never left the south
absolutely howling

It was a bit of a shock, even though I feel things have been leading up to this for years. The weirdest thing was his smell. The smell I always associated with my dad, but fucking me.

At one point he licked across my face like a dog and made a noise. It was a low pitched, letcherous "lahhhhh"

Don't know how to feel now. Should I feel used? Or like my whole relationship with my dad, all of the father-son stuff we shared as a kid, it's all stained by this. This heat.

>>68515680
>drowning students
>a bad thing
shouldn't be so arrogant to think they can go for a swim in the river should they

>>68515652
What's that university town that is just below the Harvard/Yale, but act smug because of ratings placing them top 5 and act like they deserve to be in the Hardvard/Yale level

Because here's tat's Durham

http://poal.me/bjxq60
http://poal.me/bjxq60
O MY DAYS PHAM LOOOOOOL

http://poal.me/bjxq60

>18:27
>well into the last quarter of the day
>the period where it is mentally impossible to ignore the fact that work is rapidly approaching

kill me

>>68515702
haha fuuuuu rage

>>68515622
not to people, but islam needs to die

>>68515719
nothing worth seeing in the north

>>68515728
list of things I shan't be clicking:
this

>>68515730
As of tomorrow I'm covering for my manager who's on maternity leave

I've never been a manager before and now I'm going to be responsible for the people I usually work with and never talk to

Send help

>>68515702
Is your dad an invalid or something?

>>68515702
what a selfish prick. how dare he interrupt your pathetic alcoholic self-harm.

>>68515147
hate them

>cause they break my heart when they die

>>68515728
shan't be hovering the cursor over this one

that county map thing made me think

think i've only stayed in like 3 counties for more than 1 night

Just rang the wife's son and asked the little paki runt to take me to the golf course tomorrow morning, but when he turns up, I'm not going to answer the door and stay in bed instead. hehe

>>68515692
Maybe he finally got his shit together?

>>68515622
By the modern definition I am a racist. By the definition of most of human history up until about 50 years ago and the standard at which all other countries that are not white are still held today, I am just a perfectly sane and healthy individual.

>>68515743
is birmingham the literally the furthest north you've ever been? or have you been scandinavia or somewhere

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>not to people, but islam needs to die

Prepare a recipe for the preparation of 1.0 litre Biuret reagent which contains 15 mM CuSO4.5H2O (249.7 g/mol) and 0.8% w/v Potassium Iodide in 0.2M NaOH (40 g/mol)

>>68515768
embrace it mate, its fantastic experience. use it for future interviews.

>>68515702
>to do whatever the fuck it is people do at the golf course at 8 in the morning

Play golf?

Cheat on your mum with his golfing buddy Seamus?

>>68515806
yeah furthest north i've ever been

have toured a lot of europe but the farthest north i went was Berlin

>>68515500
haha pixlr can't do fill so i cant do this

>>68515652
Because it's a comfy white northern city. London pakis fucking hate the fact they've failed to 'culturally enrich' it.

>>68515730
sunday's are shit

always feel depressing

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Michael Ondaatje (Sri Lankan born, UK raised, Canadian, winner of Booker Prize, et al.) wrote in 1992's 'The English Patient:'

>"The English love Africa. A part of their brain reflects the desert precisely. So they're not foreigners there."

Is this true /brit/? Do you hear the call of the dark continent?

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going round to a friend's for a smoke session

>>68515743
you quite literally wouldn't fucking know you muppet

>>68515730
im calling in sick tomorrow :DDDD

>>68515869
so-called "sesh"

>>68515689
They're too big to go down

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>>68515730
thinking about quitting desu

>>68515861
not to worry, only 45 more years to go.

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helo im going to bild a wol ok?

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>yeah the furthest north i've ever been was birmingham

Anyone else going to Soul Train on the 17th?

>>68515876
>tfw if you call in sick twice in a year you get a disciplinary review, most likely leading to a formal warning where i work

mental that they can treat you like that

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>>68515869
Can I come?

>>68515915
remember to stand on the american side as you build

the mentally disabled irish man or the mentally ill english man

>>68515910
might just go work in a bar somewhere sunny

live a simple life

>>68515730
actually looking forward to work because everyone has been nice and cheerful recently

living in a flat by myself is driving me to insanity

>>68515768
why on earth would they give that responsibility for the autist that never talks to anyone? were you really the best option?

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>yeah the furthest south i've ever been was birmingham

True statement: everywhere in the UK outside the South East of England is shit and there is no reason to go there.

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>>68515902
>west ham
>big
they haven't even been in the PL long

>>68515952
dont know but im HOWLING at this post

you'll be talking about the dentist and DHL any day now

>>68515866
isn't that Monty?

>>68515902
thought that about your mum
i was wrong

>>68515967
south west is nice too in places. Bristol is deece

>>68515952
Yeah it's shit isn't it? At least you aren't a pensioner and can actually do stuff.

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>literally all you need to be slim is to put the fucking fork down
>fatties can't even manage that
HOWLING

I'm late to work every single day and no one seems to care

>>68515964
hm don't think anyone actually said that

meanwhile some lad who has "travelled the world" has only been as north as birmingham!

lads i accidentally moved the windows taskbar to the top of the screen and have no idea how i did it/how to fix it

i actually think i prefer it like this though

why did men wear makeup in the 80s?

what makes the north so savage? genetics? water supply?

>>68515971
They're fancy stadium says otherwise

>>68515980
:/

>>68515921
where the fuck do you work? in yankland?

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a semi-friend acquaintance of mine just went to SE Asia on his own for a couple of months. Was ridiculously excited for it, couldn't stop banging on about it in person and on FB saying how he's going to find himself there or some silly bullshit.

Arrived in Hanoi a couple of days ago.

First day in - gets mugged at knife point and has everything robbed from him.

Second day in - gets beaten up by locals.

>>68516018

FOY

>>68515975
becoming mentally ill like Tim actually scares me desu

>>68515989
haven't left my flat since friday evening haha!

>>68516016
new romantics copying david bowie

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>>68515500

>>68516025
aldi

>>68516018
the lack of sunlight

>>68515954
They didn't want arguments so all three who applied are doing it for 4 months each. I'm first and panicking a bit.

>>68516014
southern lad here
not claiming i'm well travelled at all, i've never been outside of europe

what is there to see north of birmingham though? i thought anything more north than that was just burqas, scottish barbarians and geordies

doesn't sound very appealing

>>68516016
Hiding the AIDS

>>68516031
what country?

>>68516067
yorkshire dales

>>68516047
j-j-...janny?

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>>68514561
https://youtu.be/L6nMtVxLVa8

are smart watches worth it? what's the battery life like?

>>68516067
>southern lad here
ah so you'll feel well at home with the burqas then!

>>68516062
>They didn't want arguments so all three who applied are doing it for 4 months each

fucking lmao where do you work the ministry of namby pamby poofters. are you adults or what?

>>68516085
>hanoi

'nam

>>68516085
>Hanoi

what do you fucking think you absolute sponge

really lonely and miserable

>>68516067
As opposed to the inhabitants of Londonistan?

>go to london
>ethnic minorities everywhere talking in a weird dialect of English
>everyone is fat/ugly
>you're considered wealthy if you can afford to live on your own in a studio flat
>mosques and lebara shops as far as the eye can see
>ugly skyscrapers and tower blocks
>the middle is really nice and filled with actually rich and attractive white people

one of the weirdest places I've ever been. good museums though, I'd go back to visit but I would never choose to live there.

>>68516106
lots of lads from devon and none of them are the janny

>unironically being fat
>unironically being a skelly
>unironically not lifting

Howling.

>lovehentai5567 3 months ago
>Yeay! I found a great one! Really sweet vanilla after a whole day reading ntr. And on page 156, Miyu's face is really fucked up XD She looks like a donkey lol. Also there's typo on earlier page saying Falmet is no 3 when the truth is she's no 2 and Fan is no 3 Fan tho, really cute <3

pondering what type of person leaves these comments on my hentai websites

*mates with you*

>>68515977
It is. He is a good example of a Brit at home in the North African desert.

>>68516108
all bulgarians should be killed

Theresa May’s bunker: only the meekest courtiers are allowed in

The recent sycophantic interviews show that the prime minister’s stubbornness and parochialism leave her ill-equipped for Brexit negotiations

>>68516109
They're pretty pointless 2bh

>>68516110
nah the north is way more hardline islamic, go south of london you will barely see one. london isnt south, its the start of the midlands.

>>68516126
>south england = london

poorthener education

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>>68516110
>>68516126
ah yes
encouraging me to visit the north by saying "it's whiter than london"

very good, very good

>>68516126
he's not from london mate

>>68516067

>Not visiting Yorkshire

bruh

>>68516031
don't believe this for a second

i was in hanoi in april and spent time walking around alone at the early hours of the morning. never had a problem

>>68516067
All the decent landscape of the UK is north, the south is just endless London suburbs and Cornwall/Devon

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>>68516148
Ill prolly beat the shit out of you, peasant

>>68516166
>london isn't south
HOWLING

>>68516156
so should i just wait until someone invents the omni-tool from mass effect then?

i remember back in the day the sega game gear was technically superior to the game boy but no one bought it because of its small battery life

>>68516208
London is the north

>>68516127
where the fuck did you go? mongoloid tbqh.

scared lads

anywhere north of the isle of wight is the north desu

>>68516210
>portable games console
>shit battery life
>therefore is not actualy portable

I think I've found the problem

LADS
A
D
S

https://www.instagram.com/p/BN4Yx0_gHOa/

>>68516169
>only 96% white
practically a fucking mosque desu

98.8% here

didn't once think about northerners and their existence until i saw their posts on here/got to uni

do northerners spend their entire lives thinking about southern fairies and their expensive pints and being outraged about gravy?

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Is this a normal amount?

I think ppl that copy others are sooooo cute like pls honey get your own personality

anything north of exeter is the north tbqh

>>68516088
>>68516172
>>68516196
it's cheaper, easier (and probably faster) to just get a flight from gatwick/heathrow to austria/slovakia/italy/france/germany and see the much more beautiful scenery there than having to wait for a late train to take me to the "industrial powerhouse"

>>68516196
south downs and epsom downs run through the entire south east, between the coast and london its mostly small villages, the odd town, hills and farmers fields with woodland across the low lands.

>>68516256
>do northerners spend their entire lives thinking about southern fairies and their expensive pints and being outraged about gravy?

I'm a northerner and I speak for all northerners: yes we do.

also chip butties

>London is the start of the Midlands
This actually makes sense desu.

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>>68516242

anywhere east or north of wiltshire is a disgusting pikey shithole that's not worth saving to be honest

>>68516193
you're right, he's definitely lying because of your nothing anecdote.
fuckin pillock.

>>68516256
they're your canadians

>it's a "southerners try to distance themselves from london" episode
yes yes very good abdul

>>68516238
alri manlytears

>>68516300
>people don't lie on the internet

yes of course

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anyone remember the great northern floods?

>>68516305
it takes me longer to get to london than to get to lands end

poor show, old boy

>>68516208
50-60 miles north of me monkeyboy, its the start of the north like it or not.

Business idea: build walls around London, Birmingham and Manchester

need some secret santa ideas lads

>>68516364
bullet vibrator

>>68516297
>north of wiltshire

directly north is 2 of the best cities in the country you knob

>>68516364
get something funny relating to their quirks