/brit/

going now bye

hey fellas

UNDER YO' SEXY BODY

fags

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kay-on

Have shagged 30 different women. Only 3 of them weren't fat or ugly. Have had gonorrhea and crabs.

Never have had a gf

>>68475833
Rektieri is just trollin

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man hands

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I said, PICK UP THE SOAP

gonna do a suicide after i vomit

>>68475851
>Have had gonorrhea and crabs
Does it just go away after a while?

awaken sons of europe

>>68475889
Clap dies to penicillin right?

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Where should I travel for 2/3 weeks in April? Iran is postponed because of the US visa issues it causes.

>>68475866
why don't you have a seat over there for me

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>AA Gill dies weeks after revealing he had cancer in restaurant review

Literally went in under a month

>>68475912
georgia desu

>>68475884
>Don't talk to me or my son ever again

going bed night x

>>68475912

Grimsby arcade

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Anyone here ever gotten a job for their billingual skills w/
>Translating court documents
>Translating newspapers
>Translator
>Tutor
>Serving foreign customers
Anything?
Also, what language and how much did the gig pay?

>>68475912
Blackpool

>>68475912
iran.

put yourself in the middle of a international dispute and use the publicity off it to get a great job in the diplomatic service

>>68475794
>portugal second

nah fuck off

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>>68475912
here lad you can join my road trip

>>68475912
The maldives before they go underwater

waiting for this kiwi runt to go to sleep so i can surprise rape him

just booked holiday in cornwall

>>68475960
Multicultural London English to Queen's English

I was a translator for the government ama

>>68475912

Tour the great cities of Europe: Paris, Munich, Budapest, Milan, Birmingham, Magaluf

I am British now.

Downloaded Tinder because so many people here seem to use it. Bit boring desu feel judgemental.

>>68475738
Used to play that religiously in 2008

>>68475975
nice profile pic x

>>68475840
considering a rewatch

>>68475962

Can you earn 100k like you can in the civil service fast stream?

>>68475895
*wakes up*

hello!

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>>68475975
doxed

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Umm no sweetie, I'm a Rumanian, and I truly enjoy your Aussie and Brit shows.

>>68476058
OH FUCK

might do a 'culate

>>68476000
>Budapest
out of place

IMG_1142
where are you
we need some help from you now

>>68476079
KEK

>>68475996
Pay much?
Need a degree?

>>68475928
That was quick. Least he got some fish and chips before he went.

My hips are wider than my shoulders ama

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>>68476058
>>68476079
How ya doing, Facial Expression :^)

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lads made me cry

>>68476112
wellington?

want to walk to the shop to the shop to get some stuff but its Saturday and the chavs

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>>68475913
Kay :3

good british accent for a yank
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToiOVn_G4A8

>>68476112
Why haven't you become a trap yet?

>>68476058

ENHANCE

>>68476142
Do you know how fucking creepy this nonce stuff is?

>>68476154
>accent is ok
>still cute so it's all good
>"cell phone"
>........fuck

She tried, but that irritated me

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>>68476122

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me in the yankee candle store today
>£22 for a fucking candle

>>68476058
dat five head

>>68476202
but they smell really nice

just ate a handhi

>>68476154
She's adorable, hot and definitely a 8-9/10 but her ASMR is shit tier like 99% of them nowwadays.

*drinks some carlsberg*
hmmmm yes

getting a handjob later (from myself)

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>>68476167
Nothing wrong with appreciating a dapper young man

>>68476202
How fucking yankified is your cunt

They don't even have those here

Just back from a great date lads

>>68475866
>>68476142
>>68476290
delete these please.

>>68476290
its fucked dude i hope you get hanson'd i'll be reporting it to the police myself

wish the bent nonce would get a trip so i could filter that cringe

>>68476290
puberty ruined him

>>68476108
Home Office didn't have any translators at the time because private firms were snatching them up.
They pay for rent on a one bedroom flat in Kensington that's only 10 minutes from a tube station
I get just under £65,000 a year which is more than enough considering rent is paid for, travel is subsidised, I live on my own, and I'm not extravagant.

I did a degree for another language but I got a MLE proficiency qualification and that's all they want

After 3 years I was made head of the MLE department because we had an influx of MLE translators. I regularly meet with cabinet ministers if they need MLE stuff translated or advice on social issues with MLE speakers

recommend me a movie please :)

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>a fucking canadian (a country which is indistinguishable from america) inplying his country is less yankified than britain
howling

what will you do when sex bots become real and nonces walk free hand in hand with their bpbots

>>68476357
k-on

>>68476346
Can I do this with French?

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>>68475866
>>68476142
>>68476290

>>68476357

the grinch

>>68476290
What the fuck is wrong with you?

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>>68476330
Wew. Is it illegal to post screencaps of youtube vids?

Might have some flubromazepam tonight, haven't delved into my precious stash of that for months

>>68476370
I'm québécois you autist there's no yankee candle here

Ontario is indistinguishable from America yes

Unironically thinking about reporting this aussie nonce to the police.

Should I go through with it?

>athiest
>hates rap and EDM
>extremely picky with women to the point of obsession despite being a virgin
>hates Apple
>doesn't drink
>racist
>doesn't care about dressing well OR thinks dressing well means wearing a fucking tuxedo and fedora everywhere
>doesn't go to parties/concerts/clubs because "they're stupid" (but actually never gets invited)
>thinks lifting weights is for "dumb meatheads"
>thinks all women are dumb whores

Well, did you get more than 5/10? If so, you might be an edgy little shit

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>>68476202
>mfw got one ~£13 on Amazon Black Friday

>>68476410
got a funny story related to this if anyone is interested

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>I'm québécois

>>68476377
better than shagging kids. which this aussie nonce wants to do.

>>68476410
You're clearly a nonce so hopefully when they look into you they'll catch you out on your other noncery because nonces like you are never clean. Like I said I'll literally go into a police station and report you myself tomorrow.

>>68476357
Oldboy (2003)

>>68476455
do yank police have australian jurisdiction?

>>68476470
nah

>>68476470
yeah very interested

*walks away and looks for someone else to talk to*

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>I'm québécois you autist

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>>68476468

going to snap up all the xmas ones half price in a few weeks

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>>68476457
4

>>68476487
Is the American one any good?

>>68476457
>hates EDM
>hates Apple

Sent from my iPhone

>>68476457
got 0

>>68476346
y-you're only memeing right?

>>68476492
yes we are the world police

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>>68476521
What are these called? Why do mexicans love spanish simpsons edits?

>>68476515
very good lad

>Drumpf chooses CEO of Exxon-Mobil to be Secretary of State

drain le swamp guys xD

>>68476479
Didnt you say this months ago

>>68476539
>he isn't racist in 2017

(just getting ready for the new year or it'll take me ages to adjust to it not being 2016 k thx xoxo)

>>68476543
alri dubya

CHAT

>>68476457
>hates Apple
literally only one

>>68476525
No

>>68476515
Why buy them? Never seen men buy them

on the birra moretti

>all these jewish billionaires in Trumps cabinet

/pol/ must be ripping their hair out

4-0 to leicester. fuck citeh in the shitty poop poop hole

>>68476558
Was only in it for the memes

Knew it was gonna be establishment the moment the GOP stopped fighting trump

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>>68476546

>>68476570
Nope but I'm not kidding. Once they see a kid in school uniform being psoted by a nonce online and I tell them it seems like you know him irl and he might be in danger they'll be knocking on your shitty little basement door you fuck

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>>68476470
Keen

>>68476395
You find with translators in the Home and Foreign offices, a lot of them already speak French (but it's not that good). Your French needs to be really good for you to stand out

I don't know if the French team is hiring anyone at the moment, but it's always worth looking. Your wage and benefits won't be anywhere near as good as mine, but it will be enough to live in Essex or Sussex and commute in.

>>68476540
No. You find that a lot of Civil Servants have no clue what an MLE speaker is on about so they need people like me to help.

>>68476577
rorke

Business idea: buy a skirt and pretend it's a Christmas gift for the "gf" but actually it's for me

need beer but i'm still in boxers and struggling to go to the shop

>>68476457
3

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ah yes (((breitbart)))

amazing to see how the jews have split the alt right, they're masters at divide and conquer

>>68476596

covers up the stench of shit and cum in my bedroom

>>68476631
nice. which one x

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>>68476587

>>68476641
oh god that is reddit tier comments section

>as an X i thank you
>as not an X no, thank you

cringe

>>68476641
rasheed

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>>68476618
Except when they reverse image search him and realize he's in england.

>>68476616
I need more of these pls

>>68476457
>EDM
FOY FOY FOY

>>68476623
I have an extensive knowledge of grime music and I'm extremely proficient in MLE too

get me a job m8

feel rather decadent after that handi

>>68476457

>he cares about what form the cloth around his body takes

kek

>>68476684
Goodluck then.

>>68476623
I speak French far better than any sissy public school boys from Kent, trust senpai

Give me something to vocaroo in French

What's Hemel Hempstead like?

>Plays video games
>Loves to argue
>Doesn't wash own clothes
>Rarely cooks
>Lives with mummy and daddy
>Has a reaction image folder
>Is a NEET
>Thinks all women are vapid

Signs of a manchild.

>want to have sex
>too scared to see an escort

real conundrum this

>>68476684
What is it about this innocent school child that has the australians all obsessed with him

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>>68476649
Thinking something like this with some black stockings x

>>68476701
Yeah guess I'll just go out in a toga tomorrow in the cold ahahah

>>68476720
all me

>>68476684
he was cute but the older boys are so ugly i had to put the video off

>>68476717
Its a new town

Aka 90% Barratt suburbs and a 70s core

>>68476711
you and your filthy accent better fuck off you nonce
scum of the francosphere

>>68476622
Somebody went to my school who looked pretty much like this but year younger than us and had dyed pink hair, me and my friends literally didn't know whether it was a male or female so my autist of a friend dragged me over to them and said 'Hey are you a guy or a girl'
Fucking spaghetti leaked out of my pockets so much, I was slurring when i replied something along the lines of 'sorry my friend here is autistic he doesn't understand that you can't ask that sort of thing'.
The worst part is when she replied 'Are you fucking kidding me' and my friend said "oh so you are a guy right?

>>68476346
What kinda shit do you translate?

Documents, people speaking in real time, subtitles?

Going to take a shower

Bye

>>68476778
Do you live there?

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Ah yes, the so-called trans community

>>68476750
wew

>>68476346
What's MLE?

>>68476780
Give me something to vocaroo autist

>getting angry about a successful French society

Lel

>>68476796

remember to rinse the gooch

>>68476796
hope you drown

>>68476822
I dont care about your so-called french skills mate

>>68476780
who else is in the francosphere apart from quebec and a bunch of niggers
embarassing

>>68476820
minority london english

>>68476796
remember to spread your cheeks

>>68476796
Ok don't fall in

>>68476820
mummy love experience

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>>68476760
Zack, the chosen one who wields the comb, is actually a model now, scrubbed up pretty well post highschool

>>68476802
No but I know about it

>>68476817
You realize how ugly this cunt probably is?

All these bent anons that talk about crossdressing are probably 400 lbs or deformed

why does everyone from london have a jamaican accent

>>68476850
Imagine getting triggered by Quebec

If anything you should like us because we combine French with your love of North American culture

>>68476867
proofs??

>>68476886
mad ting innit

>>68476822
>Remember that no one really loves you. Your parents were only meeting the needs of their own narcissism when they conceived you. They were forced by their culture and context to raise you. The medical providers don't care about you, they are only doing their job. You are only a collection of decaying flesh to them. Your mental health providers will tell you whatever you need to hear to be a functioning cog in the great thresher of our industrial society; if that doesn't work they will medicate you. Your don't really love yourself either. That voice in your head has been there all the time, magnifying your shortcomings and setting you back. You loathe your very own existence, and you are right, what are you doing to help others? You cannot even save yourself. End it all. Nobody really cares.

In french

>>68476822
speak something in french lad. i love quebec

>>68476886
Loads of Jamaicans live there

>>68476858
Are you fucking kidding me?

You got paid that much to translate English to English? Are you memeing?

>>68476873
you're talking about anime people

>>68476886
So does Toronto, b

>>68476899
>with your love of North American culture
this is the problem

>>68476684
what video is this

>>68476886
our culture bruv don't hate on the ting kmt

>>68476886
cuz badboy yardies cam in di boats to londan taan atta time when a bob marley play di reggae records on di radio an di sweet reggae saands o di ras ta far eye blud clarts mek dey way inna queens talk

>>68476873
untrue, I knew a couple of swedish traps (dont ask) and they were both skeletals

it's true that they only post pics of their legs because it's easy to make yourself have thin girl legs though

>>68476908
I'm not translating that, give me a French text

Business idea: don't do anything with my life except work, save all my money and then die having had no experiences and spending next to nothing, don't have any heirs and let the treasury take it all.

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I posted this pic last time the yank posted his map but didn't get a single (you) :|

>>68476970
>i could be a translator
>dont make me translate

are you fucking high?

bare suicidal and dem ting dere

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>>68476685
FRESHly made one la

wont be getting one now either

Got paid 100k from the australian government and lived 5 minutes down the road from the prime minister for being a MAE translator (minority aboriginal english)

>>68475794
>nigger thinks soviet era isn't about zerg rush
>nigger thinks pre-soviet era was inferior to soviet zerg rush tactic
Enough for me. Your autism knows no limits. I'd even say ignorance.

>>68476989
>Doing work for zero compensation on 4chan

Are you fucking high?

>>68476979
boost charisma stats

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>>68476970
screeching and wailing

I see why the french are so disappointed in quebec

>>68477018
>test me for this job
>but no work

hmm

>>68476970
Le monde est plein de gens qui se disent des raffinés et puis qui ne sont pas, je l'affirme, raffinés pour un sou. Moi, votre serviteur, je crois bien que moi, je suis un raffiné ! Tel quel ! Authentiquement raffiné. Jusqu'à ces derniers temps, j'avais peine à l'admettre... Je résistais... Et puis un jour je me rendis... Tant pis !... Je suis tout de même un peu gêné par mon raffinement... Que va-t-on dire ? Prétendre ?... Insinuer ?...

>>68477018
Okay he's a really quick easy one to vocaroo, in French

>I'm a lazy canadian bastard and i should be shot by the maple syrup police

>>68476979
Enhance

>>68477018
>Give me something to vocaroo autist

keep up with your own idiocy.

imagine being one of those reddit moderators or 4chan janitors and literally doing it for free, what do they get out of it? a power trip?

>>68476692
the MLE team isn't officially hiring at the moment, but if you ask, an interview can be arranged

Phone up, ask to speak with Communications Director (woman called Elizabeth Grayling) and just enquire if there are any jobs going

>>68476711
I'm one of the few people that don't speak French la x

>>68476790
Close. Subtitles, real time translations, transcribing with a translation done at a later date

>>68476930
I'm not meming. It's become a real problem. MLE has sprouted up super quickly when compared to other dialects that the Home Office got caught with their pants down. Court cases were being delayed, civil servants looked like idiots in public interviews, low satisfaction after phone calls ect.

>>68477083
yes

>>68476999
Thanks lad I appreciate it

Also checked

>>68477083
>a power trip?

Literally this. Maybe some of them get a little good feeling because they truly believe they're being a good person and they get that false sense that they're a great guy out of it but I bet it's nearly all power.

>>68477083
>what do they get out of it? a power trip?

yeah pretty much

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>>68477083
>>68477100
>>68477127
>>68477143

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>>68477042
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1wRryfUyJaS

Going on a power trip lads, anyone want to come?

>>68476900
I cant wihtout exposing him
>>68476948
https://youtu.be/WcmwPMkoReY

>>68477174
*sticks a leg out*

>>68477088
I know this a boring question to ask people who know 'other languages' but I'm fucking interested in how different it is to normal English.

Can you write something in 'MLE' that would be hard to understand for a normal Brit but easy for a London paki? Or is it just the accent because they all talk like Vicki pollard from Jamaica?

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ah yes the 'ddit

>>68477180
what the fuck only ever seen this webm didn't know there was this whole thing

>>68477230
If you give me something to say, I'll translate it

>>68477245
is this real? fucking heck

>>68477245
leddit censorship is unreal

>>68477230
he's joking about the MLE thing you dolt

*takes a cheeky poo amidst the chaos of this thread*

>>68477042
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ArciyXRWhJ

:3

>>68477245
Economic migrants deserve all the ills that come their way desu

>>68477083
>what do they get out of it?
£0.00 or $0.00 or €0.00

>>68477337
Dude Im looking this shit up these people sound like absolute retards. I'd be genuinely surprised if there WASN'T people having serious issues with understanding these mongoloids, an it's actually big in London apparently.

>>68476641
just accept their superiority whitey

>>68477337
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multicultural_London_English

>>68477306
>yeah bruv so man was just jamming on road and dem ting dere
>couple catty walked by and they were half peng still, man was gonna move to it but that's all bait
>next thing i know couple opps pulled on me, tried to jack me innit so man just had to draw for the skeng innit no long ting

>>68477385
dumb phone poster

>dat cockney white flight to essex

wew

>>68477385
>Standard English
>We were, we weren't

>MLE
>We was, we wasn't

HOL UP
SO YOU BE SAYIN

no wonder this country is circling the drain when the government wastes money on MLE shite

they just played a burzum song on my local radio station
holy shit

JAMIE VARDY'S HAVIN' A PARTY

SO BRING YER VODKA AND YOUR CHARLIE

why are babies balls so much bigger than their willy? literally all of them have been bigger than mine

>>68477417
>my friend and I were at at the side of the road doing noting useful
>some attractive females walked past us. My friend and I were considering approaching them but we thought there was something dodgy about them
>some law enforcement officers came up to me and tried to arrest me so my friend let me

blackmancallingpolice.png

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>>68477367
On entend quand même l'affreux Québec à travers toi , mais bravo , tu parles mieux que Céline Dion

Why the fuck would you post on 4chan from your fucking phone?

>>68477245
Is there a subreddit more retarded than latestagecapitalism?

90% of their content is literally just facebook memes.

>>68477503
burzum is chav-core m8

>>68477462
London is about 20% of the UK's economy mate

The MLE shite is a joke you fucking idiots

Are you all retarded

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>no wonder this country is circling the drain when the government wastes money on MLE shite

>>68477559
Yeah but MLE speakers are not the reason for that you retarded fuck People act like pakis and nogs on the side of the road living in council flats selling weed are the reason London is so big not the fucking stock market.

>>68477539
merci papa


heading to the boulangerie for a croissant you lads want anything?

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>>68477589
>Are you all retarded
no u

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what does MLE mean

>>68477529
not too sure about your definition about bait
also the last sentence is all wrong, 'opps' are enemies

>>68477629
paki english

>>68477545
why do you think? it isn't a hard one to figure out. cockhead.

>>68477629
Massive. Lazy. Eggs

do gimmicks evolve?

canary wharf is getting BIG lads

watch out in 5 years time

>>68477668
they devolve

>>68477629
My Large Erection :3

Very bored lads. What should I do?

>>68477668
yes through selective breeding carried out by me and the other elites that control /brit/

>>68477643
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0VmPjETmU3S

does anyone here unironically have children / wife/ normie lifestyle?

>>68477668
Every pokemon after gen 1 are gimmicks so yes

>>68477631
I get paid by the government to do it, I know what I'm doing hun x

>>68477710
squealing

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>>68477710
>lispy 12 year old rasheed got triggered

>>68477721
ummm but sweetie i actually communicate with the mandem on road x
you just incorrectly described gang warfare as a stop and search

Would you agree, times have changed?

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>>68477710
HOWLING

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*taps you on the shoulder*
look here mate

>>68477710
>/brit/

>>68477419
how are you supposed to know if someone posted from their phone

>>68477765
if you're so confident in your skills, come get a job here then cupcake x

>>68477710
Hahahah nice lisp twelve year old gimp

>>68477710
HOWLING
O
W
L
I
N
G

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>>68477671
If there were height restrictions in the city of London, canary wharf would like this now

>>68477712
my gf says she would like children one day, but for now she's too busy with her job as a pastry chef, so she got a pet eel instead

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>binned the iphone and got an android phone again
>can use the 4chan app and shitpost on my phone again

>>68477710
DYING

>>68477735
>>68477742
>>68477781
>>68477797
>>68477823
>>68477824
>>68477887
newfags

>>68477834
she pet my eel iykwim

>most species evolve to live longer
>we evolve to recognise our flaws and kill ourselves because of them
bravo

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oneitis who rejected me over a year ago posted a facebook photo of her cuddling a guy apparently on a date

>>68477710
so this is the new 'fuck off ya seppo cunt'

>>68477834
why are all the aussies posting here hardcore normals

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>feck off u kangwaroo fucking wetard

>>68477903

human consciousness was a tragic misstep of evolution

Lads, what if God was one of us? Just a NEET like one of us? Just a mong like one of us?

good posters have all long gone

lads I got number in plumber

>>68477777

>>68477164
you have the perfect voice for audio books

>>68477367
nice, your accent isn't as strong as other quebec people

gonna do a few vocaroos of me doing a rasheed voice

should i
y/n

>>68477974
knock yourself out

quite fancy Emma Stone.

>>68477962
>stealing polish gets
good lad

>>68477900
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0VmPjETmU3S

It was posted once 5 days ago they're hardly new for missing it.

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>>68477900
>Damage control
IM ON THE FUCKING FLOOR HERE LADS

>>68478007
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1gcPtWlLPed

Pakis

>>68478056
oh my days

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4klus6gIRY

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>>68478060

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>>68477961
i-i'm back

>>68478091
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ZnYOtO7YU8

>>68478060

not bad, you sound like a taxi driver from Walsall

hi

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dunno how anyone can use and enjoy browsing the internet without a physical qwerty keyboard

how is a tiny little smartphone/iphone screen is supposed to take the place of an actual laptop?

>download the app version
why don't you download my DICK!!!

>>68478127
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ZnYOtO7YU8
Sound like Taj from Come Fly With Me

>>68478127
this is a good gimmick

>>68478151
haven't seen it.
just going on how the people of south asian extraction sound round my neck of the woods

>>68478127
massive drop in quality

After giving it some thought, I must say necrophilia is looking more and more appealing, despite the bad rep it gets, which I think stems out of fear of our own mortality. But should I allow something like that to hold me down on my pursuit of happiness?

>>68478189
>>68478158
meh i can't think of anything to say
it's a one or two post gimmick

>>68478112
hey :) x

>>68478133
apps are for braindead computer illiterate normies

>>68478215
nailed it with the first one

>>68478215
well yeah don't beat it to death (like what happens to the vast majority of ok 'mmicks) but in moderation it could have promise

>>68478221
I long for the days of t' 'sync

>>68478133
yeah I never got this either
typing on a phone is incredibly irritating and the format of most websites, even with their mobile modes is dreadful

>>68478269
let's make one

>>68478101
i wish i was born in the 20's poland so i could experience first hand what the gas chambers there did to your bollocks

Women want sexually experienced men but will reject you for seeing a prostitute to get experience. Doesn't it make sense to see a professional sex worker if you want to get better at sex? If you wanted to fly a plane, you don't hire a guy who doesn't have a pilot's license to teach you.

>>68478285
post fucking machines

>>68478261
I like to beat micks to death too

Revenge for my Uncle

>>68478269
>>68478282
have you tried reddit? seems suited for you attention craving faggots

>>68478285
>implying there were gas chambers

>>68478290
>prostitutes have licences in sex therapy

>>68478303
trying to have a private convo here lad :x