/brit/

having a look

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and thats it?

>>68350066
eating an apple right now

need a brexit gf

>>68350138
Now you're a tranny why not take up a sport because you have a natural advantage

I got the giggles

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rubens apples tbph

>>68350013
>11am is not an early lecture
How'd you know my lecture was at 11?

goodnight

>>68350194
*tucks you in*

/brit/ more like /stupid/ lol

/brit/-monthly, dec 2016?

anyone?

my collection is short

>>68350104
good night

Love NOTHING more than a tabloid using the word 'boffins' in its title

...AND I'LL WRITE YOUR NAME

Internet 'boffin' ridicules newspaper articles!

>>68350209
aussie leaf cold war hotting up

can't stop eating lads, mummy buys a week's worth of groceries and i've eaten it all within a day or two

>>68350281
no i think he means that you're a man but you can pretend to be a woman and have a natural advantage

>>68350307
>groceries

FOY

when my life is going well i develop a liking for the contemporary pop songs

>>68350316
know for a fact that brits called them groceries too so suck my doodle m8

SOPHIE tomorrow night lids

>>68350336
literally me

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>>68350307

>>68350336
post (1)

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>>68350104
not this shit again please

voy de compras

how to guarantee a one-thread gag:

mention something that's completely mundane about being a relationship, and get abnormie losers attempting to take the piss out of it

why did some Italian noblemen have blue eyes and/or blonde hair

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>>68350066
Having 18 beers and a 500ml bottle of finlandia

in order to cure the crippling loneliness that has plagued me for the last few months, I will be taking steps this weekend to convert the self-styled fwb into a gf

victory or death

booked a day off on friday

got nowhere to be, just anticipating being to depressed to work haha

already planning what i'm gonna have from the takeaway

>>68350354
definitely this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT2_F-1esPk

>>68350388
genetics

>tfw gf refuses to put her feet on my lap when we're lying on the sofa together because she caught me jerking off with one of her dirty socks on my face

I thought she was taking a shower at the time, it's not fair.

>>68350397
>the crippling loneliness that has plagued me for the last few months
>the fwb

You might be the normiest normie who ever normed

>>68350403
wow i thought the chainsmokers would be a punk rock band based on their name

>>68350432
>jerking off
FUCK
OFF
YANK

im so, so sorry

>>68350432
>the gf
FONT

>>68350066
please dont

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just been reading bout how this analytical firm used an algorithm that can predict a given person's political and consumption preferences from 65 facebook likes, with 85% accuracy

was employed by trump in the us election, and by nigel in the brexit thing, marine le pen is currently using it.

imagine being so much of a runt that you like things on facebook, so some marketting or political campaign can tailor itself to modify your behaviour and choices

maygar cigani

>having sex with the gf
>start doing her from behind
>realise that she has taken a shit recently
>all i can concentrate on is the subtle smell of shit
>notice her rusty ring
>blow my load inside of her

Best sex of my life desu

>>68350491
kurwa ataturk hahahah

>>68350491
all hungarians should be killed

SO BABY PULL ME CLOSER IN THE BACK SEAT OF YOUR ROVER

>>68350546
pls no

>>68350491
magyar cigany

Can't even get hired at tescos.

Might need to pack it all in soon I think.

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THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST

>>68350098
>this meme is still alive
God dammit :(

>>68350508
Bet you love Farage though you runt

eaten shitloads today, can't wait for tomorrow morning's poo

You are given the controls of a nuke that will destroy a single country of your choosing

>What country do you pick?

>>68350527
what?
>>68350536
why? what wrong have we done to you?

>>68350601
kurwa

ataturk
hahahhhahahah

>>68350588
hungary

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA

>>68350601
quite good

>the mafia existed in 19th century feudal Italy

fucking hell, they must hold inconceivable power

brb theres apizza in my owven i hgtotta take it out

>>68350588
hungary

>>68350601
Cuck for Austrian cock 2bh

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Discuss

>>68350633
BATMAAAN

>>68350615
what did he mean by this?

quite good. kek

hungarian gypsy

Sent in my headline writer application to 't mail lads, had a go below:

>Cambridge boffin and miracle love rate cheated death say innocent bystanders

>>68350655
yeh

>>68350669
hahahahahahaahahahahha
kurwa
ataturk
hahaha

>>68350737
ah yes, the so-called bums

you guys are pathetic, i thought we could have a friendly conversation and you attack me like a pack of stray dogs

>>68350066
>apple...WPPAP....wft

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92w_MMvWCDg

>>68350738
none of these words are hungarian you stupid fuck

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>>68350655
here u go

>>68350738
hows summer over there?

magyar cigany

>>68350763
hello

I like Hungary

my dad spoke well of your people and meals

he showed me a video from atop a rooftop bar in Budapest and it looked fantastic

all the best,

Australia

>>68350763
fohs

everybody loves me
and I intend to keep it that way

>>68350801
Why on earth would someone be happy having a trillion friends?

>>68350821
I dislike you

>>68350782
>>68350803
kurwa
hahahhah
ataturk
hahahahahahahhahahahaha

>>68350737
ah yes, the subtle smell of shit as they spread open their anuses

>females
hmm yes hmm

cane toad got in my kitchen and i spent a good 10 minutes trying to shoo it out the back door but now it's disappeared on me

fucking australia

>>68350837
abnormal detected

>>68350869
ah yes

>>68350637
they existed before that

>>68350869
You're suppose to kill them la, they're a epst

>>68350869
should have killed it tbqh

>>68350869
keep it as a pet / friend

mechanical properties of materials?
my favourite...
NOT!

never cane toads, snakes or other wild animals where I live

haha the suburbs lol

>>68350940
what do you study?

>>68350940
Ah yes

'higher' education

found a new home earlier then this FUCKING NORMIE showed up and shooed me away
REEEEEEEE

Cecil Rhodes was right

>>68350869
THAT'S AN ODD NAME
I'D 'AVE CALLED 'EM CHAZWOZZARZ

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>>68350869
*surreptitiously googles cane toad*
what the fuck

>>68350869
cane toad, aren't those the ones you're allowed to fuck

>>68350940
buck

>>68350943
only north face and walking haircuts lmao

I know which I'd prefer

>>68350433
you don't understand

fucking sweltering in this midnight lads

>>68350907
>>68350920
did NOT want to get toad guts on my floor

>>68351051
wow, really gets the neurons firing

Will you lose your virginity first or get a gf first?

>>68351051
it's literally a fact bigots have a lower iq than leftists

>>68350968
it's eating a bat

little fuckers eat everything that fits in their horrid mouths

need theresa may to brexit my arse

Question time is fucking rubbish don't know why people watch it absolute crap

>>68351085
I'd rather get a gf first. don't really care to have meaningless sex with some random bird. Would rather fall in love with a girl and then have passionate sex desu

>>68351117
bent

never get your tits out for the lads get your tits out for yourself

>>68351090
tbf you guys deserve them

>>68351058
then give it a lethal injection

>>68351111
It's literally the most interesting time in parliament 2bh, even on boring days

>>68351090
wtf

what would happen if you put your dick in front of one

>>68350869
had a dream of this exact situation last night
weird

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>>68351090
fuck the emus why haven't you had a war with these fucking monstrosities

>>68351058
how fucking soft are you m8

if I was there I woulda slashed it brainstem for you and thrown it out the back for the birds to have

>>68351187
Australians are encouraged to kill cane toads, even PETA shuts up about them

>>68351143
That's pmqs lad I'm on about the tv programme

>>68351187
We sort of have la, remember that episode of the Simpsons where Bart brought them here and they started breeding like fucking crazy? Pretty much exactly what happened
They fuck over native species

is the thing about toads giving you warts true?

>>68351263
sounds like what you guys did to the abbos

lmao

>room is 22c
>i'm freezing

ah yes temperature.

*Dangles bollocks over a cane toad*
Ahhhhhhh yes much better

>>68351265
nah, you're getting them confused with Essex girls

>>68351265
humans are the only known resevoir of the warts virus

envelope glue is made from toad mucus

Numa numa came out 12 years ago today

https://youtu.be/KmtzQCSh6xk

>>68351313
t. that brain off of futurama

>>68351314
fucking hell, I've wasted my life

How many of you fuckers have an undercut? I swear if any of you trend following limp wristed wankers are itt I'll heem you

>>68351314
a simpler time

>>68351252
Oh right, PMQS is just called Question Time here. Think Q&A is pretty much our exact copy of "Question Time". Don't mind it 2bh
>>68351284
lel

>>68351344
I'll uppercut you unless you pipe down

>>68351344
literally every guy under 40

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Why aren't you some girls dick appointment?

>>68351314
>2006 was twelve years ago
where did all the time go

>>68351117
t. virgin

>>68351314
>This video contains content from SME, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds.
What the fuck

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the power of drugs

>>68351313
>basically got off with a toad

and i still don't have my prince charming :( x

marco

>>68351407
the video came out in 2004, the upload is on youtube in 2006

WWWWWWWWHAT IS UP YOUTUBE, IT'S YA BOY HERE, COMING AT YA WITH ANOTHER EPISODE OF

>>68351401
It looks shite on at least half of the cunts wearing it, also it's exponentially more popular with deano's and working class

>>68351424
is she really on drugs yeah? she looks ill and too skinny

>>68351424
I've heard meth is brilliant 2bf

>>68351424
still would rather shag a 70-year old coked up Sophie with HIV than that absolute hog Maisie

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>>68351424
Blonde Sophie > red head Sophie

>>68351424
*walks towards you*

just bought these $30 headphones a week ago and they're already fucked

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any anime fans here or are you all a bunch of normies

>>68351527
thats worth like 10p in real money, no surprise

Which League 2 should I support lads?

I like the Morchambe shrimps desu

someone link me cool space related videos that will make me feel tiny against the vast infinity of the universe

>>68351424
NOT a fan of new sophie

>>68351527
got you covered la
https://www.amazon.com/Superlux-HD668B-Dynamic-Semi-Open-Headphones/dp/B003JOETX8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481127954&sr=8-1&keywords=superlux+668b

>>68351574
will take a lot to make YOU feel tiny mate
*wobbles your belly*

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be yourself

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>>68351560
me but i don't like lewd

Look lads
He posted it again
How original

think i have lordosis hahaha

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>See cute girl
>Imagine life together

>>68351613
guy on the right looks vaguely like ryan gosling, he just needs to lift

got done for sniffing bike seats again

>>68351635
post a vagina

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>>68351655

Paris is unironically the most spectacular and beautiful city in the world

Debate me

taking a chance

Terrible bait
Kys

>>68351696
Its a dirty shithole which now resembles Africa

@68351717
no

>>68351717
Not bait. Doubt you even own a fucking passport. I lived in paris for 4 months and loved every second of it, there's a reason its so world famous

>>68351722
'no'

strongly considering buying some cheap shite games on steam and cancelling the cost out with trading cards

going out on a limb here, I know, but have any of you lot been to a Murder Mystery?
the gf and her mates want us to host one at our house for new years

this website would be 10x better if everyone on the other side of the atlantic were banned

desu

for fucks sake, accidentally got ham flavoured beans

>>68351569
Notts county, oldest professional club in the world

Terrible bait

didn't realise ol' sophie was covered in properly runty tats

>>68351613
Guy on left isn't THAT good looking, it's easy to look attractive with an otter mode body coming out of the sea, although jelous of his shoulders desu

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>>68351768
>ham flavoured beans

>>68351757
sounds like posh people role play

all wana pretend your poirot or that posh bint from murder on the nile do ya

dont care

>>68351779
What's their mascot?

>>68351797
the cans looked exactly the same except for a tiny little label, if you're gonna have different flavours you should at least make the can a different colour

>68351780
>Has literally never left the US

screeching (as the brits say)

>Racist troll guilty of harassing Labour MP with antisemitic posts

Why are rorkes so stupid

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>he doesn't agree with the post war consensus

anyone who smokes or litters should be put to death

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>(as the brits say)

pound euro parity when ffs

>>68351818
It sounds like the whitest thing I will have ever done, our friend group are a laugh so I'm staying open minded

One of the characters is a french detective as well haha

begrudgingly eating my ham flavoured beans

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>>68351833
Magpie lad

>>68351868
What the consensus on letting darkies in?

http://www.nest.co.uk/browse/designer/philipp-mainzer

ah yes, rich people

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>Transport Minister Humza Yousaf drove without insurance

>Immigration minister Mark Harper has resigned from the government after it emerged his cleaner did not have permission to work in the UK.

Are they retarded or is it intentional?

>>68351909
well poirot was belgian so almost

nah I rekon I would enjoy it, if everyone got into it. but still on the other hand you could just have a game of cluedo

must need a massive house for it to work

>>68351920
Do you not even know what I'm referring to? The abandonment of the post war consensus coincided largely with mass immigration.

>>68351894
a fedora for every occasion
it's impressive

>>68351955
Car insurance is a scam

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in there lads

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>Do you not even know what I'm referring to? The abandonment of the post war consensus coincided largely with mass immigration.

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NOTHING COMPARES

NOTHING COMPARES

2 U

Do you know who else was Time: Person of the Year

>>68350569
I'm on 35k now and I couldn't get hired for a min wage Tesco runt job a few years

Look lads
He posted it again
How original

>>68351960
Apparently it's all on cuecards and a CD, reckon you could do it in one room

>>68351955
>Mr Yousaf told the Scottish Sun newspaper that there was "nothing wrong with the car, no lights out, I wasn't speeding, there was no accident" when he was stopped by the officers.

Also I look forward to the coming days where this is blamed on racist police stopping a poor asian man without justification

>>68352006
Hitler

>68352017
go through the archive and see how many times its been posted lmao. adore your obsession with me though

>>68352006
Angela Merkel?

Barack Obama?

Queen Elizabeth II?

>>68352043
Who?

>>68352006
Me and Stalin

>>68351961
Wrong, mass immigration started with the 1948 British nationality act passed by labour and the tories not repealing that in 1951 when they got re-elected was part of the post war consensus

Lads, if you were doing a Murder Mystery then, which character would you be?

BUTLER - the victim's butler
INSPECTOR DENAUX - a French private detective
PROFESSOR PEACOCK - an academic and "friend" of the victim
REVEREND WILL BEEDONE - the local vicar
DOCTOR FUMBLES - the village doctor
GENERAL CUSTARD - an ex-Army General turned security specialist
FORD ESCORT - the victim's chauffeur

Terrible bait
Kys

>>68352017
>>68352056
Fuck off Yanks

http://www.nest.co.uk/product/e15-drei-side-table

ahhhhh yes

>>68351986
More pics of her lad

>>68352099
>FORD ESCORT - the victim's chauffeur

My entrance theme would be Eurobeat

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>>68352006

Me!

What should I cook lads? Only got one pot so rather limited. Getting sick of pasta and rice.

>>68352099
CHESTY LA ROUX - the victim's side bitch

>>68352099
Academic

A kiss with a fist is better than none

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>>68352155
>tfw they betrayed us

>>68352149
did like his name tbf

>>68352171
here are the female characters
EM FATALE - the victim's young, beautiful widow
MRS WITHERING - the silent but deadly housekeeper
MISTY VISIONS - a wild gypsy fortune-teller
BLANCHE BATTERS - the cook with a mean left hook
CINDERS - the pretty put-upon maid
DEE MINOR - a world-famous concert violinist
SIERRA TANGO - the only police constable in the village

>>68352181
Drew Peacock haha

>>68352069
>mass immigration started with the 1948

'no'

the first time foreign born immigrants surpassed 100k was in the early 60s

in the 50s they were getting less than 50k a year

hardly mass immigration

>>68352006
lit me

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me acting natural

lmao lads fleshlight has just arrived

>>68352222
BOOBY ST CLAIRE - the stripper with a heart of gold but a rotten past

just measured the willy at about six inches if you include that tiny bit at the end of a ruler

>>68352099
AL SHUCKUP - Local barfly

>>68352301
>that tiny bit at the end of a ruler
yeah, you mentioned you were measuring your willy mate

>>68352239
>50k a year
>Not mass immigration

Alri' schlmo ahahahahahahahahshshahahsahshshs

Up until 1950 there were 20,000 non whites accumulated in the entirety of the British isles with a total population of over 50,000,000 people

>>68352033
then I don't get it

I was imagining a house-wide roleplay of cluedo/that murder mystery film where people get killed off one by one

>>68352222
MAJOR D. RUG-PROBLEM - A disgraced former major who is wiling his life away innocently (or so they think) in this village

>>68352301

nice, mine's a whopping 5.7 inches if you start measuring from the gooch

ya daft racists

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>>68352335

>>68352339
wasn't life good then eh

>>68352343
6-14 players all pick characters then you draw cards, one of which will be the murderer card
you then ask eachother questions and have scripted responses that change if you're the murderer

>>68352335
yeah well nice

ill give you that one cunt

>>68352290
Pics

>>68352339
Look at the percentage of foreign born britains

It was 4% in 1950
6% in 1960

now its 12%

>>68352379
>>68352301
fun fact lads, only half of the willy is actually visible outside of the body. It goes deep inside your own body so you can technically add 6 inches onto whatever measurement you get!

>>68352400
i c

A peerage for Gina Miller please

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>>68352448
*walks towards you*

>>68352412
This isn't relevant to me saying mass immigration started in 1948 when it objectively did, it's common knowledge during the post war consensus we went from 20,000 non whites to 1,400,000 so it seems silly for you to say mass immigration only started at the END of the post war consensus which isnthe mid to late 70s

Not had a match on tinder in six days and the girl I was talking to hasn't replied ahahahhahahahahahhaa lmao im so lonely hahahahahahahah you can't make this shit up

day 2 of salaryslaving

incredibly bored

A peerage for Gina G please

>>68352528
*matches with you*

A peerage for Honey G please

Reminder that when your grandparents were born Britain was literally an ethnostate

Insane to think how decent that is when some people in the media act as though we've had immigration forever

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>>68352405
it was only $20 so I figured why not. Not a virgin so i cant convince myself it feels the same, its also way too tight and im not even big

>>68352448
its no wonder that the most hard-line Brexiteers hate Gina Miller. She's black, female, articulate, attractive, wealthy, lives in London and has five fingers on each hand

>Girl at work
>Thick as fuck thighs + Thigh gap
>Pretty chubby face
>Always dresses in loose short clothes

Really wanna shag this bird guys I get a boner every time I see her.

What should I say to her first?

>>68352606
glad those days are gone x

>>68352222
PED O'PHILE - the local football coach with a penchant for playing with balls and boys

>>68352606
>when some people in the media act as though we've had immigration forever

err, we're all immigrants sweetie xx

>>68352651
>What should I say to her first?

"Really wanna shag you, I get a boner every time I see you"

>>68352395
nah mate there were no video games and only billionaires had tvs

>>68352651
would you like sex?

>>68352654
>not Peter File

>>68352222
DIN D. NOTHIN - The token ethnic

>>68352606
Not all of my grandparents were born in the UK
At least 5 of my great-grandparents weren't born in the UK

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Off til monday now
That wagecuck feel lads
What a fucking relief

>>68352641
would buy one but can't be arsed trying to hide it

Kek blesses me with these sweet digits

>>68352707
I feel the same way about midgets

>>68352687
I bet he did it

>>68352704
2 grandparents born in the uk 2 in ireland for me

Anglo Irish master race desu

>>68352704
fuck off paki

>>68352735
tbf it doesn't matter who did it coz DIN D. is gonna be swinging from a tree by morning

*spreads fake news*

>>68352746
you say that, but in India my grandmother and great grandparents were hardcore Britboos and are still hardcore Britboos today

>>68352641
I used one and can confirm they are stupidly tight

>>68352707
I live on my own so its no issue desu.

They are very underwhelming though. Slightly better than a wank, but a bit of effort

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>>68352769

>>68352804
>Slightly better than a wank, but a bit of effort
ah yes, sex

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friendly reminder that it's chipper not chippy

>>68352706
>tfw 23 day Christmas holiday coming up

I am going to NEETmode so hard

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Pic is the first photograph of a woman

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-38238478

the gf

>>68352831
It's Chip Palace

>>68352848
would

>private number

not answering. thick melt

Indians are more British than Canucks

what's the difference between trainers and plimsoles

life ain't worth the effort

>>68352848
qt

>>68352826
the mental benefits of sex make it so much better than a wank though

>>68352831
Its called a towny chiperoo

in one and a half hours I shall have been up for 24 hours

>>68352743
Don't you dare consider yourself to be the same calibre as myself you feculent miscreant.

>>68352873
plimsoles is when you cant pull back the foreskin of your cock. trainers are just people that help you learn things or sneakers

thinking about buying red dead redemption

never played it before but it looks quite decent and there's a sequel coming soon so i should probably give it a go

is 25 quid too much for it

>>68352831
think you'll find its a chiporium

have had 2 (two) wanks so far today lads

good thing I'm not a full-time neet

>>68352937

My record is nearly 50 hours, might try it again currently but might I ask why you're up? I find 24 hours quite easy to be honest. The boredom however when you're up that long though, how do you keep yourself occupied?

>>68352941
I don't consider myself to be the same calibre to you, I consider myself of a much higher calibre

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>>68352959
on the right

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why am I always 2 years behind popular culture

>>68352972
seppos out

you probably don't even know what's a kerb or a fucking gaol for that matter

>>68353016
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup

>>68352867
t. escort/prostitute

>>68353006
it's too fucking hot and humid to sleep so im here browsing the chon tb h

24 hours is easy for me as well, my record is only 30 something hours though

>>68353041
wazaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahaha
*does that clicky finger thing*

>>68352606
Reminder that Northern Ireland is still an ethnostate.

>>68353036
dont know how to fix my toilet either but have you for that

>>68353008
You're not even fit to lick my boots you simian troglodyte.

paid deposit for a flat in a newbuild apartment building lads

>>68353096
>americans
>using toilets

just go to some mart and take a shart

>being married in your 20s

>>68353119
congrats

just vomited all over myself while i was having a wank

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>>68353131

*does dog walk with a yo yo*

impressive eh?

Hm, yes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4EMDrY5nio

>>68353006
24 is easy but every hour after that gets harder and harder
Only ever made it to about 38 hours, I remember it being pure suffering at the end

wish the pham would ask me what im doing with my life so i can bring up how i only want to die and nothing else

just can't do it without prompting