/brit/

GAS
THE
TAIGS
lads

>be indian (inb4 fuck off pajeet)
>family practises arranged marriage
>parents set me up with a virgin wife
Fucking hell, is it that obvious?

gas the rich class war now

had a nice film of smeg on my bell this morning

*forces your head*

>>68343347
Walked through Ashfield today and one of the car plates was POO-74

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hmmm

suck me knob
*whips me uncircumcised knob out of me trousers*

>>68343368
supreme-tier reply

yes, yes, goy

might just turn my life around ay

>>68343360
i love having cock forced into my mouth and not being able to breathe

god i'm such a slut haha x

>>68343374
me at the second to top

>trying to make a one-thread gag a multi-thread gimmick

yes, yes, noice troy

>>68343393
thanks for giving me the day of today Mr Goldburg

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Only a few slots left lads, pop in

http://www.wordsthatfollow.com/play/game.php?gid=182

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flWfpwN0giw

business idea: /brit/ meetup on the British Virgin Islands

>>68343408
>day of today

woah that's deep man

mum: do you want some jelly?
me: yeah a little bit
mum: do you want some yoghurt with it?
me: nah

> didn't even say please or thanks

who else /devilish/ here?

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got absolutely DRENCHED while going on my run lads in meme city

>>68343465
I want some

give me some

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me on the right

anyone here had experience with propranolol?

>>68343465
just reminded me theres cocktail frankfurts downstairs thanks

>>68343474

only because you didn't say please >:^)

*forces jelly down your throat*

when your poo comes out too slowly and farts start bubbling out around it

if I was born a few decades ago I could've invented the vibrator

>Man held over online threats to article 50 campaigner Gina Miller

ah yes britons never shall be slaves

>>68343480
>fake blondes
eugh

>>68343342
your uncle is buried in a bog in the midlands

>>68343487
nah im an alpha

>>68343501

> eating cocktail frankfurts anywhere but a party

nah mate, nah

>>68343480
>>68343275
>claim to be a boob guy (implying any man doesn't like boobs)
>marry someone with no boobs
hmm

>>68343480
>brown eyes
if you're not part of the blue eyes master race you are subhuman tbqh

>>68343420
joint you melts

>cocktail frankfurts

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Thoughts on nutella fairy bread?

Considering trying it out tomorrow

>>68343480
And people said Michelle Obama looked like a man
Christ, there's trannies that pass better than "her"

http://www.haxball.com/?roomid=~2773948e99028abe142fd7b9ba840283efa90fcaf989a9555242d9aa388393863&pass=1

pw realbrithours

>>68343556
this desu

was gunna comment directly but they arent worth it

>>68343561
Nutella on bread makes me want to vomit

>>68343547
it's not actually me haha

>>68343585
i know MATE
*pummels you*

>>68343582

you're a spaz if you don't like a nutella sanga

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Hmm yes, very worthy of the Turner Prize. This is up there with the British masters

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don't appreciate all the hate my wife's getting
lay off or I'll get my dad to track your ip addresses

Been invited to joint the US national team in the game I play.

I told them I'm not American but apparently being British is close enough

>>68343612
art is such bollocks now

>>68343607
I actually KNEW that you were playing along haha
right laugh

business idea: mixing benzos and alcohol

KILLED
HIS
UNCLE
lads

brighton idea: mixing benders and alcohol

business idea
restart the british empire with me at the helm

>>68343621
I'll make a wish to have her buried

>>68343582
have a nutella sandwich every day
tried it on toast once and binned that idea quick

I can feel a lump in my throat when I swallow
am I dying?

it's not funny any more, i really need a bf

being a lump in some bender's throat lads, feeling him gag is making me HOWL

>>68343671
Everyone I knew at uni who was obsessed with the empire was a total sperg loser who all thought they'd make great generals.

Too much total war or something I guess.

>there are people here who still haven't read the new Poleaboo blog entry

https://poleaboo.wordpress.com/
https://poleaboo.wordpress.com/
https://poleaboo.wordpress.com/

>>68343687
if you're a bender and you can't get a bf you must be a massive sperg tbqh

@68343700
fuck off you future offending nonce

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>>68343700
WON'T

pooing a do

>>68343622
nah dont bother telling us what the game is you absolute prick

>>68343700
hope poleaboo is alright, unironically too.

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>>68343671
need another irish PM 2bqh

watching some runt walk home in the fucking rain lads, fucking HOWLING

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>tfw you offend the future

>>68343706
yeah i am lol

DPD were supposed to have delivered something to me by now
hurry up reee

>>68343715
>future offending nonce
haha, I already groped the fucked out of prime cunny back when I worked at the amusement park

bus driver didnt stop for me lads

>>68343734
unironically hope he's not and dont care at all at the same time

What'll be your New Year's Resolution /brit/?

>>68343758
Need them out of business

>>68343734
Good lad

Mental health appointment tomorrow, need to make a list of things to talk about

>>68343758
They've been put out of business sunshine

>>68343775
get sober
shan't be achieving it

>>68343775
learn more about the many cultures we have here in britain and try to be more tolerant towards them

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Do people not find it incredibly patronising when leaders pander so obviously like this?

>>68343775
New Year's Resolutions are fucking stupid.

cor blimey guvna, i fancy some fish and chips for tea

>>68343789
our so called "first minister"

>>68343789
>ywn tongue her arsehole
beginning to think lifes not worth living lads

>>68343789
shitskins are too stupid to understand mate

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>tfw business is booming

>>68343789
ah yes
so called scottish """"nationalism""""

>>68343775

get a job :/

wonder how many people would be surprised if I killed myself

>in the end poleaboo will be just another tranny suicide statistic
A fitting end

>>68343775
Acquire gf

>>68343818
stop posting this image

>>68343818
Why does he take these photos and then upload them

What job does Poleaboo do lads? He said he has a new one.

Not really followed this drama much but I do hope he is okay, seems like a lot of the people in his life are letting him down.

So Poleaboo got another job, about a week after quitting on Royal Mail

Some kind of warehouse thing, it involves working in a freezer too

Temp thing, possible extension

>>68343775
the misses suggested I do more DIY about the house, so that

>>68343835
Possibly both a tranny suicide statistic and a paki extremist statistic

how does poleaboo get jobs so easily

antidepressants/benzos get a bad rap from people who are too stupid to follow simple instructions

>poleaboo
dont care, stale gimmick

Stop talking about it you runts

>>68343842

he's mentally unwell

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>racemixing destroys countr-

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>>68343868

This is what they want you to think.

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hmm... yes

>>68343845
used to work in a meat factory. it was my job to hang the carcasses on hooks and store them in the cold room. got fired eventually. was a real shame. management said freezing my bollocks for three hours each shift wasn't a good use of company time. prejudice cunts

>>68343845
Don't think you're fit for work

>>68343880
aww, I hope he gets better

Sent this to my solicitor

>About my case, the communications act charge regarding Sandra Maxwell(?), I sent the same email to the principal of the university and the head of the business school but they haven't pressed charges.
>Why is this?
>I imagine it's because they don't want to have their names associated with me/this case. I am concerned though that they could press charges at a later date.

>>68343864
I went over a year without a job after leaving Aberdeen

What changed was that I filled my CV with lies and I realised how easy it was to get temp work during Xmas

>>68343875
This is /brit/, not /ausnz/ you will not tell us what to do

>>68343842
>police took my digital camera
>probably looking for jihadi martyr videos
>all they'll find are pics of my crossdressing and declaring my paki boipussy belongs to white cock and some polish meme

Times like this, all you can do is laugh

I dream of moving to Arnhem Land and living off the land with the Aboriginals

>>68343827
just about every normie who knows you will as they generally lack the necessary empathy to see it coming

>>68343868
Oh look, another internet med pro.

>>68343906
tbqh I'm suspect of SSRI's but benzos can be really helpful

>>68343875
Are you referring to one poleaboo, also known as Monica, so-called paki bender sex offender, and self-identified transexual who posts in /brit/ and /britfeel/?

>>68343842
>Thinks dpd are stalking him
>Thinks a dentist is posting him threats from a man named kev
>Paranoid people try to get in his shot everytime he takes a photo
And you're most confused as to why he uploads videos of himself sweaty?

>>68343929

shan't be reading a single letter of this

>>68343916
Sounds like you'd need to be strong for that

This job involves something with McDonalds

>>68343917
Neither do I

Hoping for a bipolar diagnosis tomorrow

>>68343803
>our

>paki thinks he's more british than an aussie
lmao

>45p for a fresh 500g baguette

Big fan lads, up the frogs

Spanked the gf's bum raw last night

>only (you) i got for my bollocks post was from a paki
runts the lot of you

hope janny asks me why I'm 'porting for illegal content so I can explain

>>68343973
Literally am

>>68343938
the internet is full of people telling you that drugs for anxiety will fuck you up though

>>68343991
so this is how the path to aussies realising bollockposting isn't funny starts

poleaboo the half tranny will be working in a warehouse? in manchester?

he's going to get fucking shredded

>>68343999

probably because heaps of cunts get addicted to them

>>68344009
DELET THIS

I'm a 27yo benzos addicted lossless virgin NEET

>>68343999
Because they are.

>>68344010
he's not the only thing getting shredded
*eyes up the office paper shredder*
*my plums tense up in anticipation*

>>68344010
It's a temp thing, I got the impression they just need pakis to work Xmas eve and boxing day

Also, I believe most of the work is mechanised

>>68343986
NEED a commie gf

>>68344022
nice

>>68343986
i wonder if whoever made these posters spent a single second thinking about what they were making

>>68344049
what do you mean

>>68344022

me in the future

>>68344049
Disprove a single think in the image

>>68344017
yeah because they can't follow simple instructions of their doctor is grossly incompetent
look at the comment sections and you'll see people who decided to take 20mg of xanax a day

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> tfw high emotional IQ

>>68344054
>yeah i am making this poster
>am i thinking about what im making
>nope LOL
>>68344065
if capitalism doesn't work then the non-capitalist countries must be literal hell on earth lol

>>68344065
*has a single think about this*

>>68344089
alright mate very good now get some shuteye so you can be fresh for Mr noseberg toomorrow yeh

>>68344076

> look at the comment sections and you'll see people who decided to take 20mg of xanax a day

they don't just decide to take 20mg of xanax one day, taking benzos regularly causes you to build a tolerance so you have to keep upping the dose to get the same or diminished results, then eventually you need benzos to even function and you're even more anxious than you were before you started taking them

>>68344081
>tfw sub 70 IQ and EQ
ahhh yes

>>68344105
my boss is a middle aged fat aussie thank you very much

Capitalism doesn't work

>some STEM cunt with hipster glasses, dresses in a fancy suit, sitting opposite poleaboo in the library, calling up adverts he finds on Universal JobMatch

Feel better now

>>68344108
yes and any GP will tell you that
if you're not retarded you won't take them regularly

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>ahh yes m'lady I have the highest emotional iq, one might refer to me as an emotional genius

Exchanging goods and services with other people for tokens that represent the value of that asset simply doesn't work.

>>68344124

ahh well it can be an easy trap to fall into when you have a pill that "solves" "all" of your so-called "problems"

>>68344135
alri Homer, go get your peanuts

>>68344124
>not being a junkie
alri mr perfect

>>68344139
I've have benzo scripts for 3 years now and have never had problems with addiction
they're a lifesaver tbqh, but people with no self control give it a stigma

The global finance system is a scam

>>68344076
Even following the instructions can still lead to adverse unwanted effects though you thick drip

I Want to die

>>68344135
Name one thing wrong with it

>>68344179
DESIGNATED

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>tfw I could out debate you on any emotional issue whatsoever

>>68344179
That can be arranged

>>68344186
I don't have moeny

>>68344187
SHITTING

>>68343916
fuck off murderer

>>68344175
there aren't really any adverse effects with benzos (outside of tolerance and withdrawal)

https://twitter.com/pewdiepie/status/803353677226528768?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

>>68344201
cus you're bad at making money

had canadian christmas today at work lads

I could batter each and every one of you runts in a battle of emotion

>>68344254
That doesn't mean I deserve less than anyone else

>>68344210
STREETS

>>68344246
shan't

>>68344089
When capitalism affects global governments, our law, regulations, public bodies and the media/press to the degree it has, whereby it helps only a few and reduces the quality of life for millions, if not billions under its influence then as a system it is deeply flawed. It is too efficient now, and does not advance humanity it the way it did many years back.

Genuinely have no idea how I'm suppose to go from where I am today to where I want to be in, say, 5 years
The very idea of having a job and responsibilities seems so foreign
lifes fucked lads

>>68344256
Canadian Christmas? Is it different from regular Christmas?

>>68344271
Yes it does

There's a reason binmen don't make 70k a year

>>68344306
Well they should

anybody seen that swiss proxy lad recently?

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>Dear Jordan, Congratulations, you have been selected to attend a 'Let's Meet' Group Interview session!

>This session will take about an hour and a half and will give us the chance to get to know each other better and will help us figure out if you are the right match for the positions available. You will also have the chance to ask any questions you may have and meet members of our team.

>During the session you'll be joining in on some fun team-based activities and we'll watch and listen to see how you go in each activity.

>>68344239
You claim was that "antidepressants/benzos get a bad rap from people who are too stupid to follow simple instructions"

You're wrong, and clearly another thick fuck Aussie shitposting tit with gravy for brains.

Poleaboos hour at the library is up

Going home now

Might eat, might sleep

Fuck, just remembered I forgot to take my E

about to fight ornstein and smough

>>68344304
basically you make a box where everyone puts his name and then every person picks a name and gives a gift to someone

>>68344316
umm no sweetie xx

>>68344328
no I'm right

>>68344328
bit racist

>>68344326
alri jordan

>>68344342
I see, did you get anything good?

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>gravy for brains.

>>68344326
REFUSE to apply for anything with group interview

>>68344326

doxxed

>>68344306
Really? They shouldn't be well compensated for dealing with your dirty trash every day while you go do much more glamorous things?

>>68344363
a mixtape, currently listening to it
first tune is nice

*sends you an invitation to a dinner party*

activating my red eye orb in anor londo

>>68344342
That's Secret Santa

>>68344326

all of them will be watching you, judging your every move

>>68344365
you can't be too picky when you have zero references

BAZZAAAAAAAAAAA

>>68344383
*doesn't rsvp*

>>68344291
same ahaha

found out the GF has been cheating on me with a black lad

>>68344379
hope you have the fire extinguisher ready

>ring up to see how my job application is going
>"we're worried that you're going to find a graduate position at 80k a year and then leave us"
ah yes, I'm sure my arts degree majoring in political economy is going to land me an 80k job

Per capita brits are like 5 times more likely to move to another eu country than an eu migrant is to come here

the main problem with capitalism is there is no honour involved at all

if there was an agreed upon level of human decency where people are paid what they deserve rather than setting the pay rates as low as possible and still have people do the job society would be better.

>>68344396
jokes on you, i'm playing offline

>>68344397
oh yeah you're right, here we call it canadian christmas for some reasons

>>68344424
>Per capita """""brits""""" are like 5 times more likely to fuck off back home after they've leeched enough benefits money

>>68344424
you mean 5 times less likely?

>>68344420
what the fuck is political economy?

I Want to live

>>68344450
dunno mate

>>68344463
then emigrate from India

>>68344396
You really want to get your ass kicked mate

>>68344424
That's because Britain is actually a bit of a shithole

>>68344468
well you did the fucking major

Remember parcel-posting lads?

want to die but my entire family have a history of being alcoholic smokers and living til their late 90's
bit shit tbf

>>68344449
No, there's about 2 million Brits in the EU and around 3.3 million eu citizens in the uk

Per capita we are more likely to go there than they are to come here

>>68344488
don't know how to describe it
talk about Marx I guess

>>68344512
>tfw alcoholic smoker
Would absolutely LOVE to drink and smoke my way to 90 years of age now to be fair

>>68344514
and?

>>68344508

you say that as if it's a thing of the past

>>68344512
>dads family live into their 90s
>mums family into their 60s-early 70s
hmm

>>68344514
How many of these """"Brits""""" are actually British and not paki parasites?

*becomes the mayor of Melbourne*

>the group interview is only a week away
they do NOT give autists enough time to mentally prepare

>>68344514
ah yes, retired couples living in Spain are totally equal to Miroslav and his extended family
just fuck off already

>>68344530
communism then basically

>all the senior brexiteers leaning towards soft brexit

Brexishiteers on absolute fucking POOICIDE watch

Close to getting a gf haha x

*starts an ethno-nationalist party*

>>68344572
yeah sorta

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TRUE capitalism has never been tried lads

>>68344557
that's probably half the point

ahhhhhhhh yes love this mixtape

>>68344536
fuck off normble
>>68344548
good lad

NEED a technocratic society

>>68344586
whats the job then lad

>>68344587
yussss

post dank ancap memes

>its a "have to think of a reason as to why only Sunday has any record of applying for jobs" at your monday review episode

>>68344567
Ahh yes retired chavvy parasites who drain the resources of the local hospitals and refuse to learn Spanish

If Poles had as bad English in the uk as brits do Spanish in Spain people would go mad

>>68344619
never watched this program

>>68344614
I'm applying for a retail job
there aren't any jobs that have to do with my degree

>>68344587
it was only crony capitalism before

>>68344619
Say you went to apply for jobs in person then write some random shops near you, they never check

>>68344619

just same family issues

Just got called a normble lads
Not a happy chappy

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>>68344617

>>68344619
>I live an alternative life style

should probably get my hair cut
what styles are in?

>>68344639
that was worth getting then

>>68344639
>gets a degree
>applies for jobs that aren't to do with that degree

>>68344639
There is, join either the Labor or Liberal parties and get involved. Intern at a MPs office and land yourself a cushy state job earning 90k like me lad.


t. political scientist graduate

>>68344667
hitler youth

>>68344641

and if they do check?

>>68344620
>Ahh yes retired chavvy parasites who drain the resources of the local hospitals and refuse to learn Spanish
And yet the Spanish fucking love them cos they plough their dosh into the Spanish economy, don't use the health services cos they fly back to the UK for that, don't breed, don't commit crime.

You fucking paki cretin

>>68344670
>>68344680
knew this going in in all honesty
I'm not paying for the degree
>>68344681
hmm...

>>68344667
mullet

>>68344689
>Fly home instead of using hospitals or doctors surgeries

You've just make this up you lying fucking nigger LOL! imagine being this deluded

>>68344689

[citation needed]

>>68344667

buzzcut + ratty

>>68344751
you're obviously not british

Need a boyfriend desu

>>68344751
>>68344689
You're both wrong. The UK government has an agreement in which they pay for the treatment, so we send them hundreds of millions each year to cover the cost.

might start a vegan comune

>>68344775

bent twat

>>68344787
can i join? :3

>>68344751
It was only a couple of years ago that the NHS actually clamped down on it.

How fucking new into this country are you, Ahmed?


http://www.thelocal.es/20150417/british-expats-fall-victim-to-nhs-clampdown

>>68344780
Wrong

just threatened tk rape my mum and the daft bint thought I was serious

why can't women handle the banter?

just defeated ornstein and smough

might reward myself with a pickled onion and a wank

>>68344810
why are you lying you dickhead?

>In what one MP described as a "scandalous failure", it has emerged that the UK pays more than £670m to EU countries for Brits' healthcare abroad, while claiming back less than £50m from the EU, even though there are significantly more EU citizens in the UK than UK citizens in the EU.

>>68344796
did you just assume his gender?

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haha we're a disfunctional bunch but i love my family :) xxx

>>68344797
only if you're an utter runt

>>68344865
oh you can be sure of that haha

>>68344845
Lying about what, you rotten paki shitehawk?

If you buy a foot long at subway you're a fat cunt

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assad on suicidewatch

>>68344864
those potatoes wont cook themsleves

>>68344843
the ol pickled onion eh lad? be careful then, don't want to pull anything LOL.

>>68344883
I'm really not though

>>68344883
alri Laura, calm down

>>68344887

could you explain this for me please sweety?

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Time person of the Year 2016

>>68344864
good that

>>68344864
does this picture accurately represent Britain and Ireland's relationship throughout history??

>>68344882
You said I was wrong, but the UK does pay for the medical care of citizens in EU countries

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>>68344932

>>68344946
No, you were wrong calling me wrong, you dippy turban twat

EHIC insurance card lads

The UK pays for any medical treatment of UK citizens abroad in the EU

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>>68344887
>>68344924
uhm... x

>>68344973
But you were wrong. You're literally a retard.

>>68344943
yes if the wife that throws a glass of wine on him first then he overreacts and clatters her

worst part about getting to interview phase is having to alert the mother to drive me. now she'll know when i get rejected unlike the other times

Just applied for a job in London lads :S

>>68344986
No I wasn't, you obnoxious paki freak.

Go play with the traffic, Tariq

>>68344864
Not really sure if the kiwi is laughing or screaming here

>>68344980
yeah thats what the EHIC card is for la
every country gets them

>>68345010
just be yourself :)

>>68345061
she's absolutely screeching

>>68344864
>Ireland is the only female
accurate as you lot act like whiney menopausal birches

>>68345072
Every EU country

>click Post
>realise you made a mistake
>hit Abort
>too late
>not only does the post still go through, you don't get any (You)s from it
fucking savage

>>68345107
>>Ireland is the only female
should've gone to specsavers haha

File: mad edgelord.gif (1002KB, 169x168px) Image search: [Google]

1002KB, 169x168px

Fugging pakis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Going to start my novel lads. its about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."

>>68345136
>t. paki

>>68345152
is it semi-autobiographical?

>>68344932
You know who else was person of the year?
Hitler

>>68345206
>>68345206

>>68345179
really don't understand why people hate the person who killed hitler

>>68343868
>zionist mind control pills
no thank you