/brit/

*drops nothing*

i don't have any gimmicks :(

:(

*drops will to live*

woahhoho watch out lads, piping hot new gimmick coming thro-OUWOAAAHH
*falls arse over tit on my way into /brit/*

hi I'm also impression

File: image.jpg (96KB, 1000x667px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 1000x667px

2bh

*drops an anvil comically on my goolies*

>>68340791
What are you guys doing to Brendan Fraser? He looks like he's given up on life.

ahh yes sir bartle frere

>>68340824
is this you?

http://i.4cdn.org/gif/1481076288764.webm

>>68340846
>>68340843
>>68340824
>>68340823
>>68340820
>>68340819
>>68340817
>>68340815
>>68340809
>>68340791
you all have weak jawlines

SOPHIE tomorrow night lids

*drops trousers*

i don't think i will ever be able to see MSF without thinking "militaires sans frontieres" instead of "medecins sans frontieres"

>>68340858
corr i wish

>>68340867
stop banging on about that as if it were actually a thing

>>68340872
*my eyes widen as your willy flops out onto my face*

my oh my

Yeah, shit the bed again FFS

Purse your lips around your bottom front 3 teeth and take a deep, powerful breath

>>68340908
not a problem

*gives kim & aggy a bell*

come on darlings let get this mess cleared up

File: cruise15[1].jpg (136KB, 592x807px) Image search: [Google]

136KB, 592x807px

>>68340914
>front 3 teeth
alri Tom

File: Screenshot_20161206-095055.png (2MB, 1440x2560px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1440x2560px

>>68340914
Started coughing, retched, almost threw up

Something really wrong with me

Imagine having to manually breathe

>>68340933
Bottom front 3 you toss

why are sexual abusers always gay or at least bi?

fuck just got here
looks like i missed out on an epic new gimmick

got called a paki because I have a good tan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bEDM4bsfWg

absolute banger

>>68340964
because they're sexual deviants and that's all homosexuality really is

you know what's gay and stupid?
brits
*drops mic stand*

is it gay to like chick flicks?

>we're worried that you'll find a full time job that pays 80k a year and then leave our company
ah yes, the current going rate for arts graduates

>>68341014
no it's just bad film taste

Chain smoking beedies 'til his brain's broken completely

Get back on his feet, work out, and eat some wheaties

is it gay to lick chick dicks?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pr8pdg8tSaM

>Wiley
>Long Barrel.BRAP BRAP BRAP BRAP.

>>68341014
not if you watch them with a chick

I put myself on the uberman sleep cycle so that I never miss any gimmicks

absolutely smashed this aussie runt student outside the spoons last night, he was going on about how aussies are superior and I gave him a swift kick to the forehead, absolutely destroyed the cunt, told the lads big deano, smitthy, alex and sean to lay into the cunt, last I heard he was still in a&e

haha fucking aussies

wish wikipedia would just run ads instead of annoying me with this e-begging bollocks

got called a virgin doing the virgin walk to my virgin job

File: f3603a4275a538ab20a00f9c5754a825.jpg (85KB, 447x592px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 447x592px

>>68341050
my adblock filters it by default

i can hear bells ringing in my ears

won't stop

have work in less than 2 hours

FUCKS SAKE

want to be a neet again

@68341088
don't believe i asked for your input, nonce

>>68341092
grind a paracetamol up and lace it onto a cotton bud and stick it into your ear

>>68341088
check your Adblock privilege

File: 1OpjyerI_400x400.png (299KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

299KB, 400x400px

>>68341088
what adblock you using lad?

>>68341104
>finished work at 7am
>just got in at 8am
>work at 5pm
>going to sleep soon

you know nothing

came out of the doctor's office and there was some fat old prick in the waiting room who shook is head at me

should've decked his baby boomer arse right there and then but i didn't because i'm a pussy

File: civ.jpg (4MB, 4000x2481px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 4000x2481px

Not much has changed.

>>68341014
nothing wrong with chick flicks

ps have you seen the new episodse of gilmore girls

>>68341124
adblock ultimate

Not saying it's the best, seems pretty good though, if any get through a right click will send it away forever.

>>68341135
whats your job

>>68341143
Why did he shake his head at you?

Are you a fatty?

>>68341167
nightshift manager for a supermarket

File: Screen Shot 2016-12-07 at 09.18.13.png (231KB, 2016x790px) Image search: [Google]

231KB, 2016x790px

>>68341162
oy vey

>>68341167
professional virgin

>>68341178
nah, he was probably just annoyed because he was next and i came out a bit later than i was supposed to and it kept him waiting for a few extra minutes

old people are so fucking entitled

File: an108745854es-food-jeremy-c.jpg (186KB, 1368x988px) Image search: [Google]

186KB, 1368x988px

Can't believe are Jezza has been run over lads :/

File: 1480657769421.jpg (104KB, 1000x1430px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 1000x1430px

>buy dad expensive present for christmas
>excited to give it to him
>starts swearing and being angry for no reason
>no longer want to give him present

Hate my dad

mentally ill cunt

File: Yingluck-Shinawatra.jpg (249KB, 858x936px) Image search: [Google]

249KB, 858x936px

>>68341181
I donate nothing

Doing a deep think

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9FCDfcGQqg

Everyone is a moron except me.

>>68341210
Watched a really fascinating documentary last night desu about how the USA sis basically building bases EVERYWHERE around China in South Korea, Japan, etc so that they can bomb them within a moment's notice if need be.

File: 1481101284785.png (442KB, 1099x949px) Image search: [Google]

442KB, 1099x949px

haha

File: image.jpg (157KB, 670x424px) Image search: [Google]

157KB, 670x424px

quite enjoy these hours and the couple preceding

always maximum comfy when all the new world normies are asleep and the old world ones are slaving away so that mr goldstein can afford his 7th yacht

>>68341243
But I have a gf.

Made me breakfast lunch this morning.

File: Eaton's map.jpg (824KB, 1020x1381px) Image search: [Google]

824KB, 1020x1381px

>>68341148
Very nice map.

>>68341257
fuck off normie twat

File: 1476377125516.jpg (34KB, 710x720px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 710x720px

woke up and my cock was twitching and dribbling

>>68341273
good map

broke into this bender's house and tossed him off a bit in his sleep haha what a bender

>>68341277
this

File: 1475590980629.jpg (27KB, 528x424px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 528x424px

i'm racist lads

File: maxresdefault[1].jpg (57KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 1280x720px

>>68341336

havin gf troubles lads

>>68341294
I already wanked this morning :x

>>68341351
my gf is a pastry chef and has a pet eel

>>68341336
me too

should I give the prozzie girl I fucked it with another crack?

If all my blankets aren't aligned properly I can't sleep reeeeeee

>>68341365
my gf bakes a lot desu

>duvet bunched into one side of the cover
ROOOOOOOO

>going bald
hmm yes, this will definitely speed up my suicide

>>68341373
give us her ad you selfish cunt

maybe she's born with it

maybe it's maybelline

>>68341243
never understood the pixie dreamgirl shite
zooey deschanel's characters all piss me off

>>68341373
pics

File: ah yes.jpg (233KB, 962x880px) Image search: [Google]

233KB, 962x880px

>number 1
>billionaires

Rest of the world are you even trying?

>>68341365
my gf is a bakeress

8-ish months until I'm in the uk fugging slags, lads

File: rice_6.jpg (79KB, 900x600px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 900x600px

>>68341452

File: Paki Traps.png (299KB, 503x641px) Image search: [Google]

299KB, 503x641px

>>68341452
>Pakistan
>gay porn

Fucking kek.

Just got called a nappy-ripper in Geordie Jeans.

>>68341452
you're welcome
t. russia

@68341465
Oh great, more third world shitskins

post pictures of modern art

File: all earthlings should be killed.png (37KB, 1357x617px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 1357x617px

red = countries whose people i've said should all be killed

>>68341520
bit rude tbqhwy

>>68341452
Israel is #1 in medical research because they experiment on Palestinian children

>>68341465
>brexit triggered by end of march

Don't think so sweetie.

>>68341452
>mongolia
>velociraptors
what

>>68341452
>data breaches
is this all because of that albino fag

>>68341520
>We're in the red

you naughty man

File: Screenshot_20161207-094215.jpg (331KB, 1099x736px) Image search: [Google]

331KB, 1099x736px

What did she mean by this?

Shan't be sharing my new gimmick

File: Chink percentage.png (60KB, 836x322px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 836x322px

>>68341520
>member of the 4% detected

>Between 2009 and 2015, 936 women were killed by men, the census found. Of these, 598 (64%) were killed by their current or former partners and 75 (8%) by their sons.

That's loads lower than I thought desu

>>68341532
:00

I'll be there, trust me.

>>68341504
>@
Dying rn desu. Daft cunt.

doing a big interview at Cambridge soon lads
wish me luck

>>68341545
haven't seen a chinese flag yet since i started the genocideposting gimmick, could probably find one pretty quickly if i ventured outside of /brit/ but bugger that

>>68341537
Sounds like you're a pussy telling people about your edgy "dark past"

>>68341537
sounds damaged. distance yourself immediately

>>68341562
For what?

>>68341552
innit
reckon this is one of those reverse psychology articles where its actual message is to make you actually think about the number the other way
like when Boris said we spend £350 million on the EU and everyone went "uhhh ACKSHULLY it's JUST £250 million"

>>68341545
wew that's almost larger than the indigenous population

>>68341405
don't know it

Whats that website for pdf downloads that looks something like aaarrrggghhh.fail

>>68341563
>he doesn't know the chinese government have banned the chon for chink users
newfag
get
out
REEEEEE

>>68341580
compsci

alri

File: robert downie junior.jpg (67KB, 640x861px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 640x861px

>people that think they have a "bad past"

>>68341628
don't think that's the case, think captcha doesn't work there so only pass users can post

>>68341650
*raises eyebrows at you*

File: image.jpg (26KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 480x360px

mornin lads

>>68341610
that's a dirty tattoo

>>68341659
*nods respectfully towards you*

File: Feeling gun.jpg (63KB, 500x600px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 500x600px

>>68341663
you better have a good day you cunt or I swear on me jacobs

File: 1450582596467.jpg (4KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 300x168px

>>68341650
*does a nod*

File: we did it reddit.png (88KB, 714x371px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 714x371px

>he does the virgin nod

lol this captcha tho

>>68341688
in uni but my lectures are finished for christmas
have to do a big assignment tonight tho

>>68341628
It's just captcha that doesn't work because google is blocked

>>68341656
>but the starving kidz in afrika xD
gut yourself

File: 1464498567379.png (72KB, 900x900px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 900x900px

>>68341707
>one tab open
>incognito
>chrpme

>>68341723
I'm at work

need to start wanking to pictures of celebs and slags again
starting to find it hard to get it up without porn

>>68341728
you know they can still see your activity in incognito

>>68341718
>putting words in my mouth
you first

>>68341740
*throws computer out the window*

>>68341746
i'll put something else in your mouth, battycrease

File: Promotion[1].jpg (40KB, 600x703px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 600x703px

>>68341740

>>68341656
Pretty sure its normie "bad past" meaning her bf cheated on her or she was called a slag or something.

test

Hitler wasn't "the bad guy" but he wasn't the good guy either, and he did lots of things wrong.

Things went the way they did. They could have gone differently. Let's not forcefully try to repeat history again to get the result we want or use history as a weapon to keep things the way you want them to stay. Just let things happen naturally.

>you will never be a black guy and have an endless supply of white girls looking to punish their ukip dad or just wondering if it's true what they say

File: 1477699657117.png (2MB, 1472x1092px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1472x1092px

>>68341819
>"I once only had 8 friends!"
>"I went without a bf for a whole month!"
>"once I spent an entire weekend in my room!!!"

normies

>>68341838
nah

>>68341860
>"I want to see if it's true what they say about black guys"
>"a'ight bitch"
>*steals her purse*

>>68341860
>you will never be a white guy and be the kind of guy that every girl- white, black or asian- wants to actually fall in love with, marry, and start a family with

oh wait I am that lol

>>68341887
>marriage
yes, yes, good goy

is £25/g of ket good?

*does the virgin power stance*

>>68341905
>rejecting marriage, the foundation of western civilisation

yes, yes, good goy

>being an olympian gold-winning cyclist

yes, yes, chris hoy

>>68341914
Yes.

>spelling favourite without a u

yes, yes, foy

>>68341951
ha

>be an American posting on /brit/

yes, yes, good, FOY

>being an expat in thailand

yes, yes, touch boy

touching cloth

>posting on a british general on a laotian ceramics forum

yes, yes, good boy.

File: 3ad7b6684bb627767e4ed8d0da8f8f9f2ae285b702f97de8673212c74c804df2.jpg (32KB, 600x350px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 600x350px

>>68341985

File: 1E1892CD00000578-4007838-image-a-2_1481072310780.jpg (135KB, 634x914px) Image search: [Google]

135KB, 634x914px

Remember that it was Muslims who convicted Sgt. Al "Mission: Execute Taliban" Blackman

>>68341951
>>68341967
>>68341980
>>68341985
>>68341996
fuck off

>being a Japanese fish enthusiast

yes, yes, nice koi

>trying to create a new gimmick.

yes, yes, nice ploy.

File: Screenshot_20161207-101724.jpg (1MB, 1607x1334px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1607x1334px

What the fuck

>>68341940
>accepting the wageslave civilisation

yes, yes, good wagie

>singing for religious ceremony at a young age

yes, yes, choirboy

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-12-07/julian-assange-goes-public-on-rape-allegations/8099276
>On 20 August, while at the police station, SW wrote that she "did not want to put any charges on Julian Assange" but that "the police were keen on getting their hands on him".
>On 21 August, SW wrote that she "did not want to accuse" Julian Assange "for anything" and that it was the "police who made up the charges (sic)"
ah yes

>the face that launched a thousand ships

yes, yes, helen of troy

>>68340791
Is that stylosa?

>being a british wanker

yes, yes, good goy

>combining two or more metals

yes, yes, alloy

>>68342079
Eeeet's onlee waaaaafer thin

>being from Chicago

yes, yes, Illinois

https://youtube.com/watch?v=3rYSYZmWr80

stop this foolishness right now

>putting all the ""good"" variants of the ""gimmick"" out in one thread
yes, yes, fucking spacker twats

keep us posted lad x

>being a battered sausage

yes, yes, savaloy

>>68342095
all emiratis should be killed

Anyone here actually in the police force?

>repeating the same rhyming play on words until it becomes stale unfunny spam

yes, yes, used to annoy

>>68342140
>not spotting the difference between a gimmick and a one-thread gag

yes, yes, fuckboy

>being a cultural region of france

yes, yes, savoy.

why is it dn weed so shit lads

>doing the virgin post

yes, yes, very good

>5g coming next year
mad i don't even have 4g yet lmao

you lot are a bunch of cringey bastards

>>68341940
its dead mate
there is literally no benefit to marriage and 1000 negatives

>noncing boys who just wanted to play football

yes, yes, David Moyes

>>68342165
Make it fast

any chance of me getting a gf lads?

>>68342208
*smacks your bum*

>>68342230
no haha

>>68342202
ive had 4g for years lmao @ u

>mixing two metals to change their bulk properties

yes, yes, alloy

>>68342230
un-bloody-likely mate

Need a bf

>>68342228
*drops a match down one of your oil wells, immolating the entire arab peninsula and solving 90% of the world's problems*

>>68342240
it wasnt compatible with my phone at first and now i've really got no need for it

File: 985567.jpg (29KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 640x480px

>being a popular one-time simpsons character in a well-known episode

yes, yes, malloy

Anglos

business idea: /brit/ magic eight ball
>>68342238
>>68342251

>>68342243
Well done, bellend >>68342104

>>68342230
what's your position on girls with penises?

Next yes yes poster is getting heemed

Would I be able to get a mortgage as a first time buyer with a £10,000 deposit?

>>68342270
i only just arrived ;_;

>a unique asian vegetable

yes, yes, bok choy

>>68342279
yes yes
*presents ballbag*

>>68342272
reverse cowgirl

>>68342282
Yes, I did

>>68342261
the best one

>>68342255
umm but what about the ENERGY PROBLEM YOU JUST CAUSED?!?

what's the best way to ABSOLUTELY NECK MYSELF lads?

>>68342314
abrasive rope

what does it feel like to watch a girl bend over so that you can put your willy inside her?

>a nautical themed greeting

yes, yes, ahoy.

>>68342323
knock it off >>68341951

>>68342314
Walking at night in Detroit?

>>68342314
Being a christian in UAE?

>>68342329
its better online cause you can't smell the butthole or her fanny

>>68342338
yes, yes, Detroit

thundering very badly right now

>>68342329
wouldn't know mate

>>68342314
walk through baltimore in a kkk outfit with 10k strapped to your chest wearing 5 rolexes

>being a North American on the British general

yes, yes, FOY

>>68342355
what do they smell like?

>>68342357
where you at?
think i might have just heard some rumbling right as i clicked reply

>goes to a shopping centre

yes, yes, hoi polloi

redpill me on rosh hashanah

>>68342384
logan
massive thunder just went off no more than 20 seconds ago

>sitting on the toilet with a coffee shitposting on /brit/
Comfy

>being a french monarch

yes, yes, the roi

>>68342408
haha literally shitposting xD

>being an autistic alien

yes, yes, leonard nimoy

>>68342380
poo

>>68342398
you were banging on about thunder in logan yesterday, you boring twat

>>68342420
im only weeing

File: 1473023734791.png (297KB, 424x630px) Image search: [Google]

297KB, 424x630px

>>68342420
>Mean sarcastic reply
NOT comfy

>>68342435
pls be in Loughborough

>>68342329
bag of coins

Anyone here lift? What lifts do you need before you're officially strong??

>>68342455
hey it wasn't mean to be mean don't get upset :c

>>68342483
1/2/3/4

thought i was working later but im not. huzza.

>>68342483
1 plate OHP
2 plate bench
3 plate squat
4 plate deadlift

>>68342507
>>68342501
1 rep or 5?

>>68342536
15

when does life start

I'm a ghost

WooOOOooOOoooo

>>68342536
1

>>68342560
when it ends

i hate niggers
i hate cunts
i hate faggots
i hate runts

>>68342560
at 40

getting my daily dose of the 'tano

>>68342593
all me

>>68342593
FOY

just discovered that i am unironically a deano

>>68342593
rorkesheed

:PPP :D

>>68342625
it's a bitter pill to swallow, isn't it?

going through the birthplan with the ex today lads

really fucked my life up, never get a slag pregnant

>>68342625
how are you a swamp lad

>>68342667
*Deano woops

File: Screen Shot 2016-12-07 at 9.44.46 pm.png (184KB, 779x451px) Image search: [Google]

184KB, 779x451px

why would someone use this photo of themselves

sitting to piss is the future 2bh
can NOT stand standing

i hate virgins

>>68342680
you don't get a choice of your own staff photo

>>68342686
bent

>how are you a swamp lad
what did he mean by this?

>>68342645
at first but now im okay about it

>>68342667
>>68342674
haha great la, just belted my m8s living suitcases on the fifa

>>68342704
it is far far FAR more comfortable la

To be honest I'm not really a good fighter and couldn't really heem any of you

>>68342686
can't do it, my butthole is trained to realise shit when sitting on the toilet

>>68342705
I am a dumb phoneposter

>>68342745
dumb phoneposter

>>68342740
>my butthole is trained to realise shit
woah

File: IMG_20161207_104811.jpg (416KB, 2592x1944px) Image search: [Google]

416KB, 2592x1944px

how much are paper fivers worth nowadays?

I have an exam in a few hours

What's the best way to fake a stroke?

>>68342767
about 5 pounds

>>68342767
about tree fiddy

>>68342767
five pounds

>>68342767
About £5 I think

>>68342767
the queen really is quite a minger

>>68342560
at inception

>>68342791
shes quite the munter isnt she

>>68342778
just tell them your dad touched your dick

>>68342778
ketamine

>2017 is 3 weeks away

please like me is on netflix now
hmmmm

File: 5dollarydoos.jpg (250KB, 705x742px) Image search: [Google]

250KB, 705x742px

>aging her
bit cheeky.
will currency change to her successor when she dies or how does it work

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnpgIFbLgEs

doing a morality

what's the plan for /gf2017/?

Australians are cucked by a foreign monarch haha dumb bogans

>>68342854
yes

that's how it's worked for like 1000 years

>>68342875
>3D women
lol

>>68342875
keep calling people racist in greggs in the hope itl pay off

life is, barring fleeting follies and distracting hours, completely rubbish

>>68342877

lel jokes on you m8

>>68342854
it will change to charles
lizzie will still be accepted but over time it'll be removed from circulation just like they're already doing with the old 5 dollar notes

might do a cheeky bumwank

>>68342926
how so

>>68342875
be myself

>>68342962
do you pretend you're a girl when you do this because I do

>>68342965

if i recall correctly that old crone is german

>>68342980
i am a girl

lightning cracks and thunder even louder than last fuark

>>68342875
chloroform

>>68342965
She's descended by Germans.
You are literally cucked by Germans

>>68342980
i do

bought some knee-high socks and dress up

>>68342958
probably should have waited until she dies in a few months to make a new one hey

>>68343007
Reminder that everything you type is already being logged and collected by the state security services

just want to touch a girl

>dressing up as a girl when wanking
thats beyond pathetic
how can you look at yourself in the mirror after doing that?

>>68343037
my guess is they look at themselves in the mirror during

>>68343034
bit gay lad

>>68342875
just gonna be myself haha

>>68343052
you have no idea how bent i really am

File: 1480963595503.png (1MB, 1059x1420px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1059x1420px

me in the middle

>>68343033
chloroform

getting bummed is not gay as long as you pretend to be a girl

>>68343031
i'm sure they've already got a mock-up of charles on coins and notes ready to go the moment she keels over and it's not like notes with lizzie will just stop being legal tender

>>68343013
Cute :3x

OI OI

>>68343067
>political violence
>raped and murdered for being white
hmm

I know a girl who went to South Africa for work experience and she was told she wasn't allowed to leave her gated community by herself ever or she'd be raped or killed

oi oi, he says

>>68343100
aussie aussie la

love how we all pretend to be lads but in reality we're nothing but bottom of the barrel runts

>>68343117
Speak for yourself you little grub.

File: 0053 - 1qfwZyT.jpg (67KB, 709x765px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 709x765px

>you buy her flowers
>Chad fucks her for hours

*squeals*

South Africans are just runty dutch Australians 2bqh

having my penultimate wank for the night

>>68343117
nah im like mid tier tbqh

File: 1464266897943.jpg (235KB, 800x525px) Image search: [Google]

235KB, 800x525px

this is what atheism will do to a man

File: 1458275444652.jpg (68KB, 700x700px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 700x700px

>>68343117
I W-WANT TO BE ONE OF THE LADS STOP IT