/brit/

I don't not love you

What are the most important numbers in the British mind?
Two I can think of; 1066, and 96.

THIS DOES NOT SLIP

lids

say you felt like committing suicide (not that any of us would haha we're all fine here)

what would your suicide note be?

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karen

Maisie.

>>68229972
Would do a full on manifesto desu

>>68229909
sophie your mum's a nonce

>spent £110 on my night out yesterday

smdh

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>usually have chinese on sundays
>haven't eaten much today because I wanted room to eat lots of it
>mum decides we're actually having Sausage Casserole
I don't even like Sausage faggarole

I'm way more annoyed about this than I should be. I was really looking forward to it.

>>68229999
nobody would read it haha

>>68229972
profusely apologise to my family

>>68229972
a picture of kev

>>68229972
don't think I'd write one
I'm empty inside, wouldn't know what to say

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>there are flags with the banter stamp not having sunday roast

rasheeds the lot of ya

>>68230006
What's the best day of the week for Indian?

>>68229972
"sorry mum"

>>68229972
please give my hard drive an acid bath

>>68230006
>regularly having takeaways
alri fatty

lads, how do you use mobile data/calls abroad?

do you buy a SIM at the airport or what?

business idea:
when the pirate party gets into power in iceland and they hold an online referendum to change the name of iceland, rig the poll so /brit/ island wins

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Da's bringing back mcdonalds lads

>>68230006
>weekly takouts
you will be dead by the time you are 17

*shakes*

*shakes*

*shakes my money maker*

>>68229972

"I can no longer stand to live in a world where people are mean to me on the internet and call me names like gay boy and faggot."

>>68230088
Depends where I'm going.

>if EU
My contract provides free coverage for texts & calls through a bolt-on
>outside of EU
Get a cheap $10 sim with some minutes / calls at a local shop when I'm there or rely on wifi voip / message apps

>>68229972
Where should I leave my note when I'm done writing it? Hypothetically. If I leave it in my pocket maybe nobody will find it but the morgue man. But if I leave it on a dresser or something why would people check every little bit of paper in my room?

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>>68230002
Spent £0 because I have no friends and I don't drink

>>68230065
steak and chips here la

f.lux

wonder how many /brit/ lads have killed themselves

somewhere in the double figures would be my guess

>>68230128
>I've been dead for 3 years
:o

>>68230068
Never had Indian takeaway in my life.

>>68230084
no-one in my family is even remotely overweight apart from my dad who's got a bit of a gut.

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>>68230196
>when it kicks in

>>68230200
i killed myself last year

>>68230088
rely on wifi when you've got it and you don't need to use the internet otherwise

>>68230164
>If I leave it in my pocket maybe nobody will find it but the morgue man.
they'd probably do a police search of your body but I don't know

realistically I would just leave it on the floor below me/around me

>>68229972
couldn't do it. I think the actual process of writing a suicide letter would just emphasize how petty and insignificant my problems are. but I guess that's why I'm not suicidal in the first place

>>68229972
I'm on 3 and they let you use your allowance in loads of countries outside the UK. Went to America and didn't even have to change SIM cards, just made calls, sent texts and used data like normal for no extra charge.

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>>68230196

*disables until sunrise*

>>68230006
>usually have chinese on sundays

rasheed

>blowing chucks of dried blood out of my nose after a heavy cocaine session last night

AH yes VERY impressive indeeed

>>68230219
don't know what you meant by this and i don't particularly care

Gonna give sleeping a try... any tips?

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>>68230218
23 minutes to go

>>68230248
same

wasn't that heavy though

>Salt and Pepper Chips

wtf i love the chinese now

>>68230232
wtf I love 3 now

>>68230248
same lad

standard

>>68230232
pretty strange suicide note ngl probably gonna raise more questions than it answers

>>68230255

sleep is the cousin of death

>>68230088
pay for calls and texts when I need to and use wi fi instead of data. probably more expensive outside of the eu though

gona get both my ears pierced

>>68230248
IP logged under the new internet charter.
Enjoy never EVER having a job of any importance.

>>68230255
remember to close both eyes

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>>68230353
bit gay

>>68230269
>>68230291
don't you always regret all the shite you talk when you're buzzing though? EVERYTHING seems like a good idea to say

back from iceland

>>68229972
tried my best

>>68230380
not really

I talk much worse shite when I drink, and stims keep me off the booze

>>68230200
probably a higher suicide rate here than the rest of 4chan 2bh

everywhere else is an abnormie environment so they don't feel that bad but here it's just like real life except online so it'd only compound the misery.

>>68230353
right ear right queer

>>68230353
gonna get just the left one done

how much do you pay for your monthly phone contract lids

>>68230380
>>68230380
>don't you always regret all the shite you talk when you're buzzing though?

Everytime, get really nervous about it

>>68230476
my mum still pas for mine.

she paid it in school and she just never stopped since i left home.

>>68230401
I hope you mean the country tbqh

I'd sooner bin myself than shop at Iceland the supermarket.

>>68230476
£36, HTC m9

>>68230512
nah the supermarket, needed some shit for dindinds tonight whilst waiting for big shop to be delivered and that was the closest shop

>>68230476
€40

iPhone™ SE™

>>68229972
apologizing to my family and whoever had to clean the room afterwards innit

/brit/ more like /shit/ aha

>>68230564
It's 'Dindins' you fucking philistine.

>>68230602
that's what i meant

>>68229972
Probably a compilation of every /brit/ gimmick ever.
Before I kill myself I'd absolutely pulverize my nads into dust with a hammer.

any sissy asian boys with a hot asian wife want me to cuck them with my large white cock?

4chan more like borechan haha

>>68230476
£45
100 texts
calls cost 10p /min
Nokia 3310

Legit contract circa 2000

>>68230476
€25
iphone 5s

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>Legit contract circa 2000

might get into an argument over on /o/

>>68230646
why don't you drop it? you're paying an obscene amount

>tfw the gf wakes up and starts fondling my pintle

self-styled sunday trading laws have scuppered my plans again

>>68230476
£12.90
unlimited texts & mins
16gb data

>>68230634
>wanting to fug pakis

>>68230006
>having weekly chinese
>having a specific day for takeaways
>not liking Sausage Casserole

absolute working class runt

I pay £15 for unlimited everything (but 3g) sim only

tbqh

copped Moto G4 plus for £165


>>68230688
that right there is a bargain la

You asked for anything for Christmas lads?

If not, what would you want for Christmas?

>inb4 that autist posts that grim mercedes

>>68230476
$90ish
unlimited everything

>>68230707
Literally do not give a single fuck about your life, just shut up before I put you in hospital mate.

>>68230675
>g*d prevents me from doing things on Sundays
Currently masturbating in a public restroom with a potato while offering my soul to Satan as a form of protest.

VERY upset right now

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just ate two donuts

that'll show mummy for not buying chinese

If nu-males are such low test cucks then how can they all grow beards?

>>68230745
enjoy your cASSerole you absolute waste

got the sort of knob you'd expect to see on a roman statue

>>68230752
Estrogen is linked to hair growth.
There's a reason women have long hair and are constantly shaving their legs/waxing their face.

>>68230734
rude

>>68230734
would LOVE to see you try

probably wouldn't even look me in the eye on the street you fucking runtlet.

Timothy James Byrne here at my new flat in high wycombe 4th of December 2016

how does a tiny country like Britain not have complete 4G coverage

Has Italy left the EU yet?

>>68230774
Small (even while hard) and white?

>>68230796
I would roundhouse kick any irishman into A&E.

>>68230801
Obviously you wouldn't even have the chance to make eye contact with me before your head goes through the fucking pavement.

>>68230707
i pay £20 a month but it's £12.90 after cashback, which i just have to upload a bill every 2 months for

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>>68230824
pretty much looks like this floppy, grows to 6.5x5.5

fucking hate being a grower

>>68230824
>romans
>white

imagine paying 40-50 quid a month for a phone contract instead of buying a phone outright and getting a sim only deal

didn't know I was posting with financially illiterate deanos

>>68230821
They aren't doing that today

big fan of my own willy
nothing special about it I just like it

Getting all my Christmas gifts for my gf on ASOS

>>68230899
Never leave home without mine

>>68230881
>>68230774
that's normal

if your penis is large while non-erect then it's just awfully impractical

>>68230881
same desu

>not getting a phone contract

Why yes I do want to spend £800 on a phone and a £15 a month contract on top of it just so I can have minutes/data. And if I lose my phone, that's £800 gone instantly!

never measured the ol' dick just assume I am somewhere around average

>>68230688
>>68230707
>>68230840
£10 a month for unlimited data and texts and 300 mins circa 2010

might upgrade to 4g though

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>contract cucks
>2016
lmao, better keep paying Mr Noseberg your monthly toll. Wouldn't want to default on your contract and have your credit rating ruined, now would we? Enjoy paying the same price now for a 2 year old device and a subpar deal 23 months down the line.

t. giffgaff masterrace who bought his phone outright and will pay less over 2 years with more freedom, more 4G data and minutes for less money

never understood how cashback worked. always thought of it as a yank thing

>£800 on a phone
>unironically buying apple products

you CANNOT make this shit up.

my willy isn't a grower or a shower

>>68230883
Roman statues are white because they are made of marble. Don't ever reply to me again you pathetic rodent.

>>68230985
Basically the shop charges you extra and then gives you the extra as cash.Saves you going to a cash machine

>not just buying a brick and having muggers apologise to you when they find out you have an ancient phone

>>68230956
i recently measured it

im above average in both length and width

surprised me desu

but im not insanely above average, only a little bit

always thought i was probably below average haha

>>68230984
>giffgaff
the absolute state of you

>>68230814
probably a similar reason to why our internet is shit

too many muh heritage sites and buildings that councils won't let technology infrastructure be built on

>>68230984
jokes on you my parents pay my contract so idgaf ahahah

>>68230984
>Buying his phone outright
Alri billionaire

>>68231010
Mong. Roman statues were painted all different colours but were painted white when imported for galleries and shit

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>he includes his balls in the measurement

she dont know how i feel
never let her know

>>68230936
you don't need to have the latest iphone every year you deano cunt
£150 android is comfy

need a bf with a cute willy and a round bum

>>68230984
enjoy your 2Mb/s

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>when you text him and the bubble is green

>being such a manlet/runt/skelly that people would consider mugging you

loooooool

>not having unlimited data
>having to make a point to measure data usage and cut back to avoid extra fees
>having that argument in the family
sort your life out

>>68231094
>being such a povvo that people wouldn't consider mugging you

>£120 phone thats just as good any samsung or apple shit. lasted me 1 year so far with 0 issues.
>£11 sim contract
>more than enough data, texts and minutes

unsure why people spend obscene amounts of money just to use a phone.

>>68230984
>le slow your data speeds down to 1kbps after you've used 10GBs network

>>68231094
not everyone is 6 foot 4 and built like a brick shithouse

some of us are 5'6 and build like the michelin man

>>68231125
consumerist drones

where are my smokes?

Shaved my armpits at the gf's requests.

Am I a so-called 'cuck' now?

does a £40 a month contract even mean anything if you're on a £20k+ salary

literally a drop in the ocean. stop whinging

>>68231094
this
I reckon I would've been mugged countless times but just because I'm tall they didn't bother and waited for a easier victim

>choosing not to be British
>choosing not to be white
hard to fathom that people this stupid exist

>>68231147
me in the middle

>>68231147
>that back

blimey

>>68231094
>being mugged at all

silly poortheners

Paying 50 quid a month for a Galaxy S7 Edge with unlimited 4g data

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>>68231147
wew

>>68231125
Expensive phones are the millenial's sportscar.

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>>68231173
>£20k p/a

>He doesn't still have a Nokia N97

The best phone ever made, still today. Easily the most A E S T H E T I C phone of all time, too

>>68231147
excellent post

>>68231170
lmao battyman

NOT SOPHIE
O
T

S
O
P
H
I
E

I know someone who has one of those off brand phones with an off brand carrier

He's that depressed uncle that never got married and leaves all the family events early

>>68231205
gimmick phone

>>68231170
shave your jugular

>>68231173
£480 a year aka 2.5% of your entire earnings
such a waste, mongs with your attitude will stay poor

>>68231259
stay mad, pauper

I need a fedora vape meme for this finnish poster in cum.

p-please respond

>He doesn't still have a Nokia N95

The best phone ever made, still today. Easily the most A E S T H E T I C phone of all time, too

Ignore my previous post. I meant the N95 lol

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>>68231255
it quite literally is you spanner

>>68231173
>£40/month
>literally £960 on a 24 month contract

Or you could buy a £500 flagship and drop £10/month on a sim only rolling month to month and spend £740 thus making a saving of over £200.

>>68231280
what's the point of having money if you're not going to spend it

ah yes this looks great on my balance! extra numbers? wow this is so life fulfilling

>>68231280
all for an experience no different to someone who pays a quarter of the price. some people are just idiots mate.

>>68231327
no it isn't check the reddit

how do i eliminate any and all sexual and romantic desires

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>>68231231
>Easily the most A E S T H E T I C phone of all time, too

'scuse me sunshine?

any sufferers of the micropenis in this general?

>>68231334
>Flagship
>£500
lmfao

>>68231335
what are you, a commie?

>>68231353
regular sex

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>no it isn't check the reddit

>>68231363
You've just ousted yourself as a Turbo Runt. Congratulations

AH YES TELEPHONE DEVICES

>My shit carrier knockoff phone is just as good! I've used it twice this year and never had a problem. Some people are just stupid, no clue why they'd want nicer things.

went to a yuppy grocery store and spaffed 20 sheets on fancy sausages, a fancy pork pie, some fancy beer and a fancy bakewell.

it's my birthday tbqh

>>68231353
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtue#Roman_virtues

>>68231353
castration

>>68231343
>no it isn't check the reddit

abstain

>>68231369
nah but I got a macropenis if that helps

>>68231411
>grocery store
FOY

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>>68231370
stay mad, contract cuck

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>LELVERPOO

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is it Sunday evening already? my my how time flies

literally nothing wrong with financing a car

if you rent a flat then you can't complain.

>it's another 'working class people are jealous' episode

>>68231125
literally spent the last 10 mins thinking how I blow 500 a year for nothing

lads

bacon fries or scampi

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>burger king chips

>>68231468
why don't you rent a car then?

>>68231507

>eating fried food

>>68231445
>year old phone
>flagship
pick one and only one

oneplus

>>68231498
at least you didn't break yours beyond repair without insurance

fucking 4 more months of model payments left

>>68231411
Happy birthday lad, it's my birthday too, how old are you today?

>spending hundreds of pounds on a phone every year
runt life my friends

>>68231468

nothing wrong with it if the money you're forking over each month reflects the drop in value your car experiences the second you drive it from the dealership.

>>68231507
Scampi if I'm sober, bacon for when I'm drinking

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YOU MUGS

i just got an iphone 5s from cex for £100 which i don't really care if it breaks or not

all i do is call/text/facebook messenger, etc. on it, no need for anything else

if i'm at home i'll use my laptop

>>68231518
used to be amazing but they stopped double frying them or something so they've become soggy and shit like mcdonalds chips.

>>68231584
hmmmmmmmmm
really makes me think

only literal pakis debate phones
if you're white you'll own a second hand iphone and leave it at that

>>68231565
quarter-century 2bh, you?

*takes a deep breath*
mom, dad, I'm gay

you racists are debating phones when we have refugees dying on our doorstep. shame on you

>>68231624
>second hand
povvo

>>68231624
povvo twat

>>68231643
hi gay, I'm dad

Is there a more glaring sign of virginity than a lad who runs a pay as you go phone?

>>68231630
23, alri grandad

>>68231624

your right about pakis and phones. what's all that about?

>>68231643
bit gay, son

>>68231663
Tyrone/Rasheed/Juan/Chang
it's a phone

greens won the austrian election

>consumerism

>>68231514
fit

>>68231655
bit stupid of them to get rid of the headphone jack on the new iphone though

>>68231684
what have his rights got to do with it?

>still have my one plus one
>still runs everything
why the FUCK should i buy a new phone, even the new one plus phones are like twice as expensive

>Having money

>>68231676
does having sex with another guy count as still being a virgin though?

I mean it's just anal, people do anal and say they're still virgins

*takes a deep fried anus loving*

dad, dad, I'm pan sexual

>>68231695
Whites can afford new phones

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>he has the virgin ringtone

>ringtone
hello grandma

>>68231752
>Having a ringtone in 2016
>Not having your phone constantly on silent

>>68231752
Nevermind the ringtone, I've got the walk and the talk.

>>68231730
i've got a oneplus one still as well

had it for nearly 3 years

the deano mugs who pay £50 for their iphone also £300 for their financed car, catalogue clothes, netflix, spotify and more

they get paid and most of their money goes out on unnecessary bills

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>mate has a PAYG phone
>with him and the rest of the lads in the pub laughing over butters tinder matches
>notice PAYG lad hasn't got his phone out and ask him why
>"tinder is blocked on PAYG"

would like cock up my arse right about now

also I have a completely free phone contract, 200 minutes, 500 texts, and 500MB data. not bad for someone with no friends

>>68231778
found out what my ringtone was last week when i accidently turnt the volume up

sister still has some emo band as her ringback tone aha what is this 2007?

Gonna start Brazilian jiu jitsu tomorrow

Opinions?

>>68231798
>in the pub laughing over butters tinder matches
runt tier

>>68231411
happy birthday

>>68231804
define friend and I'll tell you if I have any

>>68231795
what a world we live in

>>68231828
no matter how good you get at it me flicking your cold ears will always hurt

>>68231829
billy no mates

>>68231795
this, the key is keeping your monthly out payments to a minimum, only what's essential

if you can't afford it outright then you shouldn't have it, stay within your means

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>>68231798
>tfw have PAYG
>20 quid a month for unlimited calls and internet

need some ideas for christmas presents for the so-called family lads

>>68231804
Obamabrick?

Dope fiend down the street has one

I'm trying to decide on the name for my first proper project, it's a raspi that sits on your desk, if you plug a usb into it all the contents of the usb are encrypted with a random 64 char password then deleted and replaced with normal non suspicious looking files
current name options
>usb blackhole
>one-time pi (IMO doesn't make sense since it'll probably be using RSA & PGP)
>gory wiper
>dead data
also open to new suggestions

>>68231871
not at all
spending your time like that makes you a certified runt

>>68231795
My brother is exactly like this, gets paid monthly and the last 3 weeks of it he's got fuck all left.

>>68231468
True but pakis and yanks acting like they own it and pretending they are better than you is wrong

>>68231804
>pay for unlimited minutes and 5GB data
>only ever call my mum

would end myself if i could just muster the energy

>>68231881
chop off your dick and give it to your dad

>>68231858
Good luck with that, I'll be able to effectively teleport behind you and grapple you into submission before you get within ten metres of me

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>kids testing toys on BBC news
>none of them are white

If the World Trade Center attacks weren't an inside job then why were there television helicopters flying around that just happened to be there to film the whole thing?

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>>68231784
i love how everyone told me it was going to break soon because its too good to be true and it still works perfectly

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>he does the virgin walk to the pub where his mates make fun of his virgin chew
>his virgin (network) phone rings with the virgin ringtone
>he does the virgin swipe on tinder
>he then uses the virgin chat up line and has to go home alone to do the virgin cry and the virgin wank

>>68231876
here a contract will usually knock the price of a new phone down to $0-200 depending on what phone you want.

Don't mind shelling out $200 for a device I'll use everyday for a couple years. Hoping work will put me on their contract when mine runs out though.

>>68231844
someone who consistently talks to you about non-school related things
>>68231882
it's freedompop
>>68231914
t. me two years ago

sipping on a nice reisling and whippng up a nice Italian sasuage pasta sauce

J.J. Cale pon the Hifi

Gonna move on to the Cotes du Rhone next hehe ;^)

>>68231960
mine's slightly fucked because i keep dropping it when drunk but it generally all works ok

>>68231858
I like this post

>>68231985
>reisling
föy

my friends don't like me so they don't contact me

>>68231975
get a reasonable phone and a sim only contract you fucking mug

greens won in austria

>>68231914
oh god I know that feeling

my mom is literally the only person that I call
sometimes I text my brothers and sisters though

>>68231979
>someone who consistently talks to you
oh maybe not then, unless once a week for two hours qualifies

>>68231878
whos that wih?

why are all girls on tinder mentalists

>>68231985

*pinches thumb and index finger together*

>>68232045
>sometimes I text my brothers and sisters though
is your sisters hot?

i just want a gf to feed so i can see what a girl's poos look like

>>68232047
3 mobile, their reception is shite outside of dublin though so wouldn't recommend it if you're down the country

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oiiiiiiii mans locking into radar tonight?

>>68232069
they're not though haha

>>68232038
Or...
Because I am an adult and have a job that pays me actual money...

I can get a nice new iphone at a reasonable price up front and an unlimited everything contract that never forces me to worry about data usage or anything else for that matter.

If the World Trade Center attacks weren't an inside job then why were there television helicopters flying around that just happened to be there to film the whole thing

>>68232113
you are wrong

>>68232087
oh fuck off

the future gf just called me a petulant swine and told me to stop following her around

>>68232087
no, one is balooning quickly since she got married and the other is moderately fat
but just no, incest is a big no-no, it'll permanently fuck up some of the only relationships you can count on for your entire life

>>68232087
are

>bow legs

kill me

>>68232124
think they fly around for the news and such everyday 2bh

>>68232100
sums up why you don't have one 2bh

>>68232130
I've been with a girl off tinder that wasn't a mentalist mate

you'd have to have been with every single girl on tinder and verified that every single one is a mentalist to be right

>>68232101
All You Can Eat Data*
Unlimited Music Free
Free Texts & Weekend Calls
on Three Prepay when you top up by €20

Yeah see it there, might get that since I don't go to the country

>>68232124
have you never been to london? there's always helicopters around for traffic, weather and stuff

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any grime man in

chatting with the alleged female romantic partner.

>>68232150
do they also have autism

I like chunky chicks desu

>>68232160
*our

haha getting out englished by a dutchman, where's your fair play now howard webb

got a big challenge ahead of me at work

shall be facing it head on

Michelle Obama will run for 2020 BUT SHE HAS NO POLITICAL EXPERIENCE WTF

>>68232171
doubt anyone cares besides you 2bh

stop worrying about it

>>68232199
you can't eat data though mate

>>68232227
get your cock out and attack the situation

>>68232199
It's great, I use my hotspot on my phone when there's no wifi for as long as I want

>>68232225
>I like fat chicks
well that's one way to say you're thirsty as fuck

I'M A WHITE MALE

>>68232225
bende dom

>>68232171
dunno what those are or how i'd recognise them desu

>>68232216
yeah mans here bruv
https://youtu.be/9fT0c4q5Fa8

>>68232235
Probably knows all the staff in the White House by now though which is a plus

>>68232282
bigot

Runt TV programs

Benidorm
Corrie
Eastenders
Emmerdale
Hollyoaks
X Factor
Big Brother

need a straight bf

>>68232301
my so-called friends are supporting for krept & konan

Only fight with my cock out

I LOVE YOU JESUS CHRIIIISSST
I LOVE YOU YES I DOOO

>>68232331
Gogglebox
I'm a celeb

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>>68232297
like this

>>68232242
they're really visible though, and wearing shoes looks fucking stupid and irregular

>>68232331
>programs
fuck off Yank

>>68232331
Anything on Channel 4 and 5

how fat is moderately fat? is it in proportion?

american fat rankings are fatter than those of normal people i reckon

say if someone is fat here, they are a midget in boston. anyway

>>68232267
i said chunky, not fat. nothing wrong with a healthy woman

also forgot what I wrote in the first bit of this posing, so don't bother calling me a hypnorcrit

>>68232383
do you play the banjo

me with the beard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsoVYStL6gQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsoVYStL6gQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsoVYStL6gQ

you're not from the borough
you're not from the area
you're not from the ends

>>68232337
link their choons

having din dins

>>68232402
http://www.xvideos.com/video23636100/alessia_mon_23-08-2016_-_5

Women the media try to convince the public that they are hot but they aren't

Mariah Carey
Jennifer Lawrence

>routinely avoid big problems at work
>fob customers off daily
>ignore obvious customer complaints which they want me to log and resolve
>make sure any paper trails I leave are purposefully ambiguous and obfuscate the true nature of any discussions I have had
>create more work and problems for my coworkers

who /bademployee/ here?

im so, so sorry

>>68232417
fucking mongs

went for a piss but kinda needed a shit as well but managed to waz while holding the minor dump in

me 1 - 0 my arse

>>68232484
When I had a job I was the one who ran around fixing my useless employees fuckups desu, hated that job.

>>68232484
I use every loophole I can to do as little as possible