/brit/

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london

second for Muhammad, God's messenger

NEED gf

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kay-on

>>68183612
>>68183612
nah not swiss
i just moved here because of that law they gone and done passed

/brit/ - wake up sleepy heads edition Reaction Video (OFFICIAL)

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Wouldnt it be nice if we could wake up when the day was new?

And after having spent the day together hold each other close the whole night through?

>>68183637
you are so fucking cringe
>look at me I'm 14 years old and just found out how to use a proxyy lol anonymose swiss hackre xDD

>>68183637
Ah I see lad.

Good luck with the bank of England thing tomorrow, unironically doing research now as we speak, don't hold much hope for it though.

Know two people on it and the assessment centre was basically just a public school boy wank fest, although you might be one of them so...

Pretty jealous of Austria right now, they might elect a president tomorrow who literally said that "Islam has no place in Austria"

think i might top myself

>>68183670
>theresa may is literally looking at looking at his gold-shower fetish and he has the outright GALL to come and challenge me.

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>>68183669
just get a gf ah lad

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>>68183656
And I wanna be there when you're coming down
And I wanna be there when you hit the ground

>>68183673
>public school boy wank fest
nah i'm not.
but i went ot a public school boy wank fest uni so i'll be alri

>>68183698
hmm never thought of it like this

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>>68183698
haha yeah silly me

>>68183681
president has no authority or power in austria apparently

>>68183610
hmm who's that girl?

>>68183719
Exact same lad.

Starting to think you might be me with applying for all these jobs and being at the same stages h-h-hahaha.

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>Occasionally order from pizzahut online over the last 4 years.
>Decide to click 'profile' for the first time ever
>"You have 823~ Loyalty points"
>???
>Free pizza

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Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day

>rachel riley on Saturday kitchen earlier

hnnnnnnggggg

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>when a qt laughs and touches your arm

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>>68183738
uhh.. did you just ask who my wife is?

>>68183746
reddit
>>68183741
haha yeah we're competing against one another most probably.

I also got another job interview with something slightly different the week after next.

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THAILAAAAAD

>>68183746
how much is it at the ol' thai pizza hut?

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>>68183787

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>>68183748
Because we need each other
We believe in one another
And I know we're going to uncover
What's sleepin' in our soul

thailad, is it true your mum is dead, and if so, was it because of the shame of having a nonce for a son?

DUGOUT

>>68183779
>when you have sex with your gf

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>free pizza

>>68183813

l-leave t-thailad alone. h-he's a nice guy.

>>68183831
kicking myself for not making this connection earlier 2bh.

sloppy on my part

>CCleaner clearded 55GB of useles shite from my SSD in seconds

cheeky jewsoft shenanigans

disgusting racists

finished jak 3, not as good as jak 2 if i'm honest

>>68183782
uhh maybe :x

odd how you never see poleaboo and thailad in the same threads

>>68183842
you moved to switzerland WITH your gf 1 day after the law was passed?

very impressed by how quick you managed it

>>68183850
t. CCleaner shill

>>68183873
isn't jak just a rip off ratchet and clank

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>>68183789
>how much is it...?
Urm, the loyalty points are worth a bhat each so it's 823 Bhat, see pic for an idea of prices.

100 bhat = 2.20 British Pound

>>68183888
could be a botnet for all I know

but at least I can play videogames now

>>68183883
yeah aha
i'm also applying for jobs in london and other parts of the uk, but will continue to reside in switzerland.

>>68183891
the first jak and daxter game came out in 2001, the first ratchet and clank came out in 2002

so no

>>68183918
so is rachet and clank a ripoff of jak

>>68183894
buy us a cheeky pan would you?x

also dough looks funny :/

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But this man is not a cartoon character...
e ain't Del Boi.
e ain't Arfur Daley.

E IS A POUND SHOP ENOCK POW AND WE GOTTA WATCH IM

>>68183944
dunno never played those games if i'm honest

i had a few friends tell me they're better than the jak games but i don't believe them

>>68183949
Doubt they'll deliver that far m8 :(

>also dough looks funny :/
thin crust ftw

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sargon

>>68183962
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsMU77TwYM0
he pisses me off so much in this video

i've never seen somebody so irritating and condescending

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it's all beginning to make sense...

For people who have done it, for the video interview for the fast stream am I better off preparing or just winging it?

>>68183962
Reminder this happened

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s5wqmsVTnk

>>68184023
thailad, which is better, jak and daxter or ratchet and clank?

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>>68184010
Prepare examples of team work and how you overcome a difficult and unexpected challenge at work, the rest i'd say wing it.

One of my questions was about diversity in the workforce and the challenges

>Panicked and said there are a variety
>Realised that sounded like I meant there were loads and was racist
>Stuttered
>Tried to correct it
>SOME of the challenges
>Realise how insincere it sounded
>Stuttered my way through again

>>68183962
>>68184003
I liked him as a comedian/radio host, really quick and witty

now he's just become a weird mental hippie

>>68184039
ratchet and clank

>>68184039
I've never played any of them :/

>>68184043
See shit like that I'm fine with. I worked with a bunch of foreigners so you can just say generic shit like "it's important to understand different people's beliefs and cultures in order to move forward in the workplace" and other crap.

Though what you mean is FUCK OFF MUSSIES

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>>68183598
i LOVE cute dogs!!

don't get how half the comedians on the bbc are comedians.

that miranda lady? oh im unattractive and clumsy laugh at me

that black one? oh im black and i do things differently to white people

david walliams and the bald one? here are some catchphrases we repeat in every situation

real shame 2bh

>>68184088
*crushes its throat*

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>>68184023

>>68184125
you are a 14 year old autist in scunthorpe with a proxy until you prove you are in switzerland

>>68183850

>CCleaner

Haha, enjoy your tons of problems from now on. Never had CCleaner not break something. Useless software.

>>68184125
Cheap trash that they think appeals to the plebs (and does to an extent).

>>68184151
I'm enjoying the fresh alpine air, the pervading sense of neutrality and the efficient transportation systems as we speak.

>>68184153
this
ccleaner fucks everything and makes it uncomfortable

open chrome? sorry mate all your extensions are gone. open a game? sorry mate missing dll files

The chavs are out riding thier offroad bikes again lads

>>68184148
reported this to GCHQ mate

>>68183968
Ratchet and Clank games are miles better, the first one doesn't hold up well but everything after that is on another level to jak

>>68184153
uninstall then?

2bh I was just fed up of my HD filling up for no reason and it fixed it straight away

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>AUSTRALIAN
>POINT
>STYLE
>SYSTEM

>>68183884
this picture is way too good quality to have been made from the tiny pixelated image he posted

it's literally YOU mr 1142 fishing for attention for yourself

>>68184192
I never played Jak, but I played every Ratchet and Clank game from the second when I was a lad and they were great

Come to the conclusion that when most people say they're self employed what they really mean is they're unemployed and think they're doing okay selling trash and knick knacks at the flea market for $20 a week.

Sly Cooper > others

>>68184205
That was already tried and ditched by the UK gov

does anyone else get gassy when they haven't slept enough

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>>68184219
I think you might be right desu

>>68184023
c'mon. izzard is a good lad beyond the tumblrite shit

>>68184221

fascinating insight, might ponder this for a second.

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the gf

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5'6 and built like a Ukrainian rent boy

>>68184255
Doesn't need to be anywhere near question time or politics.

cold out

sick finish Gary

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>>68184219
nah, he posted it ages ago

>>68184219
alri Montalbano

>>68184290
jermaine jenas was on there (albeit quite good). celeb cameos is their thing

>>68184255

I rated Izzard up until that point, what was he thinking even going on qt, it's a horseshit format for a program.

italy is very underrated

>>68184003
both of them are irritating and condescending

Been too sick to keep anything down for 2 days so I've lost 8lbs lol

>>68184039
JAK & DAXTER

>>68184357
wash your hands in future

>>68184322
The audience were telling him to shut up at one point. He probably did more for the opposition than his own side.

ratchet and clank is just jak and daxter for furfags

>>68184307 and >>68184005 are very different quality
you're not fooling me you sadcase
>>68184317
alri

>>68184369
Think food poisoning got me 2bh. Half of my family got sick after thanksgiving last week and then my dumb ass went and ate the leftovers.

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>>68184335

Ah yes, what will appeal to northern working class heartlands more than a jumped up rich comedian dressed as a woman wearing a pink beret and being incredibly patronising about the arguments?

>>68184390
not seeing the connection here mate

>>68184395
>ass
Fuck off Yank

>>68184415
"No."

>>68184407
It's modern Labour in a nutshell 2bh

why do the Australians insist on posting images of themselves
someone needs to go over there and give them all a good kicking

>>68184395
tell your family to wash their hands during food prep

>>68184390
alri paranoia pete

>>68184431
Working class northern labour place here, all my family who always vote labour are no longer going to vote for them but probably for the lib dems lmao.

They're working class as fuck but nobody can relate to a North London middle class dickhead who doesn't want trident

>>68184415
Well he did get food poisoning so God is on our side

>>68184432
I do it when something is stressing me out
dunno why

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What the best strategy here britbongs ? And make Nelson proud

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http://www.nzherald.co.nz/travel/news/article.cfm?c_id=7&objectid=11757883
>Young Kiwi traveller detained in Kazakhstan after officials say New Zealand is state of Australia

>"I landed in Kazakhstan on the last flight of the night, and I got to an immigration booth and they asked me for an Australian passport, and told me I couldn't come in without an Australian passport.
>"They said New Zealand's clearly a part of Australia."

>>68184472
reckon you should use your boats to sink theirs

good luck lad

>>68184480
actually burst out laughing at this post.

Can you fucking imagine ?

just got accepted into the fast stream lads.

I'm joining the diplomatic service in March

>>68184453
>Lib Dems
>Not North London middle class dickheads who don't want Trident
your family are northern chav mong pondscum

>>68184512
That's weird lad, considering all fast stream posts start in September and October after a lengthy vetting process.

Really made me think

>>68184513
They won't vote tory, won't vote UKIP and know that Lib Dems, won't win. they're not actually bothered about Lib Dem policy as much as they want Labour to suffer

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>>68184480
>Phillips-Harris was taken to a tiny interrogation room where there was a large map of the world stuck up on the wall, one that did not include New Zealand, meaning she couldn't point out where she was from.

>>68184530
I mean they'll start vetting me from March. But they have nothing on me so I'm basically in

If an election was called tomorrow I'd spoil the ballot
Bunch of bellend, every single one of them

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isn't he destroying the road? or does it wash off in the rain

got called autist on 4chan earlier lads

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>>68184549
>one that did not include New Zealand

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>>68184549
>>68184480
what a qt

need a Chloe Phillips-Harris gf

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If I could just go to the gentlemen at the back, the one with the purple tie. Yes, you sir. Do you have anything to add?

>>68184548
dont care

>>68184593
would like you to add a big old steaming turd on my chest la

literally woke up 15 mins ago

weekend wasted haha

The gf wants to get married lads

Not bothered about assets and whatnot because hers are worth more than mine, just seems weird considering I'm 20 haha, she is two years older if that makes any difference

taken up skateboarding in the hopes my bollocks will get obliterated during a failed grind

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>>68184549
lel
Kazakhstan is ahead of the curve

>>68184593

y iz brexit takin sooo long? Wez shud jus leev tumoorow

windowcleaner just caught me having a wank

had a finger up my arse and everything

>>68184643
why did this make me lol lol

>>68184643

always enjoyed those bloopers at the end of 411vm, prime ballbusting material.

>>68184654
pics

>>68184638
font

>>68184643
why not tight-rope walking instead?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHlo_N34vuo

>>68184643
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXR7IQnq1BA

this could be you

incestflix has some great content up at the moment lads

>>68184709
>Cat Stevens
rasheed

Business idea: a system of government in which the citizens exercise power directly or elect representatives from among themselves to form a governing body

what's the advantages of busting your balls?

might do a cheeky move to kazakhstan lads

People in big towns with condos, or communal mailboxes don't know what it's like having one mailman come to your door with mail every day. Growing up, it was Bob. Every kid in the neighborhood knew Bob, and we all yelled HI while riding bikes. In the summer, we(my parents, but other parents too) often gave him a cold drink. In the winter, sometimes hot cocoa. He knew each one of us. He watched us grow up. From birth till about 13, Bob was my mailman. Then I moved. 6-7 years later I stopped by my local post office to mail out something I sold on Ebay. The guy behind the counter looked a little familiar. I handed him the package, he looked at my address, back up at me, paused for a second, and then said with a smile, "937 N. Anderson St?" Yup, that was my childhood address.

>>68184549
that is bantering beyond even australians

>>68184744
why

>>68184738
It's the only way to revoke your inherent male

>>68184654
he could hardly miss it with his finger up your shitter could he lad

>>68184738

creates a subconscious justification for having no gf

>>68184738
pure ecstasy

>>68184727
started watching 3% last night and it was good
problem is it's made in Brazil and is dubbed

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>>68184489
Damn, you graduated in sea warfare m8 ?

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>be MP for a shithole
>stand up to speak alongside hundreds
>never get picked and have to say anything
>£70k starting

seems cosy, might run in the next election lads

>>68184756
because of the new zealand thing

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>[SNIS-764] Lets Spend The Night In The Country And Fuck A Farmer's Wife! We're Slipping Our Married Cocks Into A Shimmering Shiny Ecstatic Wife For 2 Days Of Covert Sucking And Fucking -SD- Starring Kirara Asuka

imaigne moving to swtizerland because you were so ashamed of your porn choices

>>68184770
got a link?

Bit rude of you cunts making fun of my illness

>>68184709
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nf0e3sT_Jeg

>>68184775
>run
foy

>>68184775
Or you could just be my MP and be an obnoxious cunt and still get elected

>A Tory MP was lambasted by the SNP today after they accused him of saying benefits claimants were “terrified they might get a job”.
>The SNP claimed David Nuttall said fear of work was a “major cause of stress” for those on benefits, and shouting the comment during a speech in the chamber by their MP Mhairi Black.

>>68184472
>>68184771
>fighting in open seas
>not luring your enemy into shallow waters

>>68184762
i laughed at this deliberate misinterpretation of the text

>>68184804
it's a netflix original
that is what you meant by incestflix right?

>>68184775
Seems alright 2bh
Here they get paid a bit more and were only required to be in parliament for something like 40 days, absolute joke

>>68184770
could NOT watch the dubbed shit its too bad, going to have to watch it in portuguese someday

>>68184825
don't understand is your MP Mhairi or David? both are obnoxious

>Trump receives a phonecall from Taiwan
>Media goes into overdrive

Can the man do anything without people shitting on him?

>>68184771
Good lad

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>>68184844
erm yeah lad

t-that's what I meant haha, spellcheck

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>>68184816
>yfw the Mitchell brothers are manlets

>>68184895
bit confused

>>68184890
Serves him right for being a RACIST

today is fugg sloots day

>>68184884
David, he's a complete dickhead.

He's a literal rorke and doesn't seem to do anything but whinge about spending money

>>68184890
don't blame us. this is china's thing

>>68184907
Peggy is 6'3 mate

>>68184919
hes on about a pornsite lid of whose name is a play on netflix

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>de pooyne

business idea: go the doctor to get more benzos

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>>68184234

>>68184865
I was watching it with the dub and subtitles, which were saying slightly different things

really good concept though

>>68184775
ORDAHHHH

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*loading banter modules*...done
*tuning gimmicks*...done
*adding slags, chebs, smeg, kipper, lad, foy foy foy*....done
*promoting -ise for -ize*...done
*clearing runts*...done
*entering /brit/*...

Smoke me a kipper, lads, I am in the mood for a full English this morning!

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>Mistress T in Mommys Asshole Sniff Reward for Better Grades

Can you be a judge without being a lawyer first?

Seems like a laugh but becoming a barrister looks like a ballache

>>68184961
what app is this

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>open Christmas decorations box
>get out Christmas lights we bought last year
>half don't work
>have to get more

>>68185008
android pay

Why is my MP so fucking stupid?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHuR6lHUwgY

>>68184988
Had a hearty chuckle at this post

what's the best benzo that isn't xanax?
don't say diazepam because it's garbage

>>68185032
cheers, la

dirty filth pockets want to squeeze your glands

>>68184784
>>68184992
porn rots the brain

>>68185049
I didn't :/

>>68185045
clonazepam

>>68184825
You complained about him yesterday and everyone here thought he was either alright or based

>only 4,650 people took a driving test last year in britain

wew

>>68185049
fuck off

>>68185025
not a good example. i mean theresa was right but the daily mail crowd will think this a legit concern.

>>68185072
Because everybody here is a contrarian dickhead.

He thinks child abuse will increase if we give 16 year olds a vote and he thinks privatising the NHS is a good idea.

He's just an idiot

>>68185001
Not technically speaking

But heavily qualified and experienced in law yeah, so why wouldn't you be a barrister

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoTSo1uB22c

>tfw my local MP could be the greatest PM since Churchill but chooses to be a back bencher

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>>68184830
>implying Atlantic is not shallow enough already

Fleetlets when will they learn

>>68185078
bullshit
don't believe it for a second

>>68185078
wish I had a CUV tbqh

>>68185099
Literally what is wrong with privatising the NHS, you still get free healthcare.
Giving 16 year olds the vote is a stupid idea as well

one last shitpost then im getting down to work

>>68185072
that's because you're all tory twats who don't know what's best for you

>>68185078
all me

>>68185119
stunning post

>>68185119
he's really not that smart as his accent portrays btw

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moggy on the map

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Ah yes
Diversity

>>68185132
its this arrogance why the french navy (was) so shit x

>>68185216
beautiful :) xxx

>>68185209
>art thou irate, brethren?

>>68185164
my dad has one, why though?

>>68185194
>he's really not that smart as his accent portrays btw

After reading this only once I have come to the decision that I shall not be taking the advice of an illiterate on matters regarding the intelligence of Britain's upper classes.

>>68185167
Bizzaro Rorkesheed

doing tuna mayo cheese toasties x

>>68185216
inspirational xxx

*opens the door to /brit/ smelling heavily of weed*
*sits down and interrupts your conversation*
have you heard of simulation theory?

>>68185167
One argument that I see thrown around is that it would be more expensive for the government because multiple smaller health care providers wouldn't have the same economies of scale as the NHS

Is jacob rees Mogg itt

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>http://time.com/4589202/donald-trump-rodrigo-duterte-invite/

>>68185240
He's a half-educated golf-club pseudohistorian who'd get D for Higher History.

>>68185330
Well I don't like to talk about it with the riffraff of course but I am in fact a regular member of /brit/ you see.

at 3:00PM I'm going to go for a walk

>>68185216
Why did it happen?

Did you know that the Philippines does not officially have the death penalty

>>68185355
wouldn't mind if moggers gave me his D

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>>68185340
The miems might reach the critical mass

>Rees-Mogg was the Tory candidate for the solidly Labour seat of Central Fife and attracted ridicule after canvassing a largely working class neighbourhood with his nanny

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Applying the p'made

>>68185386
Hah, really? Fascinating

*walks away and talks to someone else*

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*throws up a cheeky gun finger*

>>68185396
madman

absolute madman

hey buds

>>68185396
Post the Snapchats you received

>>68185424
schlomsky bergstein: what's that AJ tracey? give him a billion and put him on BBC radio!

>>68185045
klonopin/conazepam

best of both words of xannys/valium

imagine if the electoral college picks Hillary Clinton

sry for yank politics but this is just too intriguing

doing a poop out my butt

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>tfw got an investment idea so devious, so ingenious, that i will probably not have to work a day in my life...

all i'm going to say is, think of something that is going to have to change because of brexit.

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>>68185230
May have been shit yet you followed pour corsican manlet til the very end

Anyway Nelson is kill and I doubt Collingwood will be able to take on the rest of spaniard frog alliance

>>68185462
hahahahaha fuck off back to /pol/
aj is a grassroots independant superstar, he made it himself from pirate radio

being ugly is shite 2bh lads

no matter how well I lift/dress/smell/cut my hair I am destined for failure in life

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Official James 007 Bond ranking:

>1.) Sean Connery (Scotland)
>2.) Daniel Craig (England)
>3.) Michael Moore (England)
>4.) Timothy Dalton (Wales)
>5.) George Lazenby (Australia)
>6.) Pierce Brosnan (Ireland)

(Found it difficult to put Craig above Moore, especially since the best Bond moment was under Moore, but I stand by my decision)

>>68185519
good job you managed to do worse than nelson himself

>>68185553
well with that attitude of course you're never going to get anywhere

>>68185396
B A S E D
D U T E R T E

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>>68185424
good lad

poor motherwell :( their lives are already shit


oy vey this is like a second ravenscraig decommissioning

>>68185561
>Michael Moore

have you ever watched james bond lad

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>>68185561
>Michael Moore

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jfQ4q4Hfcc

>Bonehead

>>68185216
well done taking it out of context

>>68185589
It's all I watch
I am aspergers autistic for 007 tbqh

Moore brought comedy to the character and kept it alive, he was also the longest running Bond until Craig.
There were some weird moments (clown costume) but overall he carried the mantle well.

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Dominos or abrekebabra lads?

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>>68185589
>>68185620
Fuck, I don't know why I did that
Roger Moore

>>68185660
It's roger moore you twat

>>68185656
what is the context then goldberg

>>68185660
It's roger moore you clown

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>>68185562
Forgive me Nelson, I am not worthy of La perfide Albion

brits have smelly armpits

>>68185519
>yet you followed pour corsican manlet til the very end
i said the french navy a shit

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>just end me, pham

>>68185808
ever so rude, apologise

Been wearing these boxers for 51 hours

>>68185840
She will win the recount in the 3 swing states

>>68185862

might do a run, thoughts etc.?

>>68185840
she seriously doesnt look human

>>68185773
oh well lad can't win them all

>>68185840
>old woman looks old after months of stress and no make-up
HAHAHAHA SHILLARY LOCK HER UP xD

Got a pair of sisters asleep on my bed

reckon my dad might be autistic

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>>68185910
>thoughts etc.?

>>68185710
she had been racist in greggs

kek at this grand tour italy crowd

does top gear really attract crowds like that or has it been organised like a month before?

>>68185985
in greggs?

How do I move to ur cunt country?

>>68185973
Like father like son

>>68186008
pickpocket someones passport

>>68186008
all romanians should be killed

>>68185997
find it really weird how much foreigners like top gear

>>68186008
pls don't

anybody here have the "smart focused man versus the uneducated yelling man" template?

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>>68186016

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>>68186046
;^)

no more pr0n for you wanker
HAAHAHAHAAAA

>>68186008
get people smuggled in gypsy car and van

New
>>68186100
>>68186100
>>68186100
>>68186100
>>68186100

>>68186071
black angelika is one of my favourite wanks

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>>68186119

>shitty
>poop

>>68186135
me likey roo pr0n

heads down

he's here lads

romanians aren't human

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why are aussies so based

how do i move to your cunt country? (give condenscending (you)'s)

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Is the Merseyside poster here?

>>68186205
shut the hell up you fucking bogan

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-38195160

bit late for that lol

Thread's v. slow today

>>68186224
come on then you gypsy cunt

*unsheathes katana*

>>68186219

>the shitty milltown of manchester

how do i move into a cunt

>>68186219
you're Michael Owen aren't you?