/brit/

jews did 9/11

first day of high school tomorrow - any tips?

I remember getting catfished into doing some pretty naughty things on omegle when I was 13

there's probably footage of me somewhere online on a dark corner of the internet lol

imagine being loved

>>67854386

Fuck your way to the top of the class.

who discovered mudgereeba?

>>67854405
Why would I imagine something thats already happening ?

>>67854386
destroy all who oppose

that swede needs to post a picture of himself

IT'S BLACK FRIDAY MOTHERFUCKERS

who /staying in because they're not fucking dense/ here?

very british thread

>>67854431
no one likes a show-off

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>>67854451

>>67854386
Give yourself a concussion so you skip half of the year.

>>67854456
>uk
>black friday

foy

>>67854394
same. weird how my dick never grew since then. must have looked hung for a 12yo

Did anyone watch Danny Dyer who do you think you are?

Bellend has royal ancestry

>>67854386
don't go into the Forbidden Forest

>>67854463
I was lying just to get some delicious (You) that are the only cool things that are happening in my miserable life.

>>67854475
did you go to school with chads where this happened? my entire middle school stay i had thoughts about breaking my own arms or something so i couldnt swim

>>67854482

Oh sorry, I should use the Morrisons vernacular

What colour undies would nathan wear

reckon i should ask for a nitrogen gas tank for chrissy

>>>/pol/100160971

>>67854503
I knew someone who who would consume heavy doses of laxatives when he wanted to skip class.

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>As the ex-Lib Dem leader says taxing cannabis will raise £1bn, broadcaster Anne Atkins tells how it shattered the life of her Cambridge graduate daughter
>Lara herself lays the blame unequivocally at the feet of cannabis, though she was never even an average user. She only ever allowed herself a puff or two a day, for medicinal purposes, and has used just 5 grams in total in her life.
>5 grams in her entire life

I am howling, why are women so retarded?

>>67854488
>>67854394

>jacking off on omegle in middle school (10-14)

I thought this was some weird thing, but your stories have added to a long list of similar stories. It's weird how stranger danger on the internet isn't even a thing anymore and we have kids exposing themselves on a public webcam service.

>>67854503
>so i couldnt swim
Could've just blacked up

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what's a roadman lads?
also asked /brit/pol and i'm gonna ask /bleep/.

>>67854541
I did this once to get out of swimming (told her I took laxatives that morning, like two hours earlier) but she told me to go in anyway, so I just hid in the changing room.

>>67854545
>on omegle
no this was msn, omegle wasn't around for a few more years

Woo coming back today boys. Get some richmonds on the go these polskis don't do real sausages

>>67854386
Pocket sand

>>67854576
are you the one who was in Hungary earlier?

>>67854575
the only thing i remember from that is the smart boy bot

can i get geordie gf pls? pls???????????

>>67854589
No but I bet they don't do decent sausages either

hey lads

>there are people here who support Premier shops

Fuck you

>>67854386
don't listen to the teachers and wag every class

>>67854576
pretty short interrail

>>67854622
they're actually snags or bangers thank you very much

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>a right wing party will NEVER back legalisation of weed in the UK

>>67854567
>/bleep/

What is this?

>>67854386
Make people believe you're gay and you'll get a free pass everywhere.

>>67854588
why are finns so god tier at posting lol

>>67854576

>Richmonds

Get the fuck out of here, sick fuck

new pua tip or business idea: describe women who look good for their age as "well preserved"

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When the histories of 4chan are written, this will be known as "The General Era", when the first general threads emerged from the chaos and began to impose order and continuity on the seething mass of anonymity.

>>67854576
all poles should be killed

>>67854642
UKIP wants to legalise. It's the major reason why Peter Hitchens won't support UKIP

>>67854653
ummmmmmmmm
http://www.kidspot.com.au/parenting/real-life/in-the-news/brisbane-year-7-student-takes-own-life-after-being-bullied-for-sexuality

>>67854682
simply this get it out boys before the scotland yards gonna be flipdfofj ue you into djd prmate !

>>67854682
Bit harsh. They aren't the friendliest but they are hard working

>>67854667
i legit cant understand runts who believe that pua stuff

>>67854645
electronic music general on /mu/
>>>/mu/69268749
bit slow currently

got a whopper of a doodle but no shielas will let me root their fannies with it

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PUA tip: if a girl is physically small sneak up on her and pickher up instead of saying hi

>>67854729
It's a fuckin NEG mate. "Well preserved" makes her sound like shes full of embalming fluid.

I wonder if the rorkes in Thailand tell Thainonce to "go back to where you came from"

she's a brick and i'm drowning slowly

>>67854693
As far as I know farage backs it but the party itself isn't strongly in favour of it

>>67854771
>people who travel alone in indochina

Thailad is realistically somebody who at least does drugs or at worst diddles children.

RED FLAG EEEEEEEK!

i love how the furthest any topic advances in this general is 1 reply and then it ends
lmao what a joke of a general lads

How do people know I'm English whenever I go to a different country? Do we really look that unique? I don't even have to open my mouth and people know I'm from the UK, this has happened every time I have been abroad

>got in from work an hour ago
>work in 8 hours

ah yes

>>67854823
shut up and be thankful you have a shitty job to pay those welfare leeching 3rd world immigrants you stupid goy

>>67854812
I've seen thread-long discussions but yeah they're rare

Tbh I think "shan't be reading this" is by far the worst gimmick of the year because it encourages ignoring effortposting and discussion in favour of shitposting

>>67854823
wakey wakey wageslave

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>>67854818
I still have to open my mouth, but its generally the accent that gives it away.

>Can you tell me where x is?
>Sure, right down the-
>Holy shit you're British aren't you?
>No I'm not a paki senpai

>>67854791
Farage is pretty libertarian, his party is full of extremely socially conservative people though.

>>67854846
>Tbh I think "shan't be reading this" is by far the worst gimmick of the year
why did i laugh so hard at this

I just want to legalise all recreational drugs and euthanasia.
What party/ideology is for me?

>>67854881
probably because you read it, inducing a mental paradox resulting in laughter

>>67854859
I was told by a Dutch guy that it's the round face shape (not fat tho)

surreal experience this morning lads

up north in good old scottyland was on the train and i was sitting next to this qt, but that wasnt all she got out her phone and phoned someone, much to my surpise she had that southern rich ponce nonce accent, instantly got a raging stiffy, shit was exotic, was going to ask her whats shes doing up here in direland but didn't want to sperg out and have her say "what" in the accent, would've ended up in jail haha if you get what i mean

haha lads

game show idea: paki or pole

farage describes a crime scene and what happened, essentially everything except physical characteristics of the criminal

>>67854883
Green

>>67854883
Greens

>>67854818
its the teeth and beer guts

>>67854883
Liberal Democrats

https://ldp.org.au/

>>67854901
Maybe you just look like a fucc boi?

>>67854883
the PIT

>>67854905
so someone took a phonecall on the train and you had a nervous breakdown as a result

fascinating

>>67854915
>>67854910
I don't care about Australia's impact on the environment though

>>67854846
guess what
*chuckles*
shan't...SHAN'T BE READING THIS
*bursts into uproarious laughter, slapping my knee*

>>67854883
this, seriously
>>67854923

ldp is severely underrated

>>67854939

sorry i dont get out much, i dont meet very many people

*does a quiet, contemplative ree*

*does a loud, over the top ree*

>scots and whales are allowed to post udner the queen's union jack

>>67854949
You should. You bastards murdered the Great Barrier Reef.

>>67854958
I'm sorry

The gf's taken her laptop into lectures and i'm stuck in her room till 12. What do i do

>>67854981
As a tiny nation absolutely nothing is our fault

>>67854995
funpost on brit for a few hours la

roo

was in work yesterday and the new start was talking to me, we somehow got to the topic of trannies and the cunt said

"theres a half man half women kicking about in here"

>tfw thats our supervisor who is one of those tumblr blue hair weirdos

burst into laughter and got into trouble

was funny in the moment

just wanted to let you guys know

>>67854976
>caring about the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha

>>67854995
switch all her bras and knickers around then take a pair and wear them

>>67854995
wank on her pillowcase

*runs fingers across lips in thoughtful fashion*

>>67854981
>all the gap yaah students who shared that post on fb and pretended to care about the environment
>tfw my gf was one of them and i have to put up with shitty conversations about the environment/poor people/brexit

>>67855012
>his company allows dyed blue hair
screaming

>>67855023
ahaha my friend my dearest friend england died with the godwinsons my mate

reeoo

>The Liberal Democrats will: Abolish Medicare, the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme and funding for public hospitals, which will be transferred to non-government ownership.
don't rate this

>>67854888
Made me stroke the grey matter

i shant be hearing anymore of those frog screeches

>>67854386
Watch anime without headphones on full volume, scream whenever there's a loud noise. Asserting your autism is great

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w-wagey *yawns*

are you u-up yet?

g-good g-get to work

>>67855089
i have an 8 hour shift at maccas in the morning and the black people there are mean to me

>>67855012
>he has a tranny for a supervisor
OH MY DAYS

>>67855005
Think i'll go mad if i stay on /brit/ for more than an hour

>>67855033
Don't really see the attraction to this

>>67855035
Might be a bit hard to explain tomorrow

>>67855070
runtish post from a typical runt

>>67855106
>maccas
oh fuck off YANK

is smoking aesthetic?

lads if you quit a job do you still get paid?

want to quit but dont know if the cunts will stop paying me my hours done for the week

haha

>>67854846
>because it encourages ignoring effortposting and discussion in favour of shitposting
and? can't see any issue with this

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feeling shit again

if I had a job I would have killed myself or got fired by now

>>67855121
if you're attractive and stylish, very

>>67855123
They pay you up to the hours worked when you officially leave lad

triggered the ancaps

>>67854901
alri owen jones

>>67855138

i was looking for a job and then i found a job and heaven knows im miserable now

>>67855141
ah alri

wish I had millionaire mates like Are Nige does

>>67855125
of course an Aussie would think this

going to drop £1500 on a new pc + peripherals

haha

gf is doing a hissy fit

want to just chuck her over a chair and absolutely clatter her bum with a spatula

>>67855152

the roads the roads the roads THE ROADS THE ROADS

>>67854923
>anti-left
sounds a bit racist m8

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>>67855152
hmm?

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Tom Cruise look fucked

http://imgur.com/gallery/BoQLz

she too boyish? a bit strange desu to be attracted to

how much of a rorke do you have to be to be a Daily Express writer?

>>67855201
looks 12

how much of a rasheed do you have to be to be a The Guardian writer?

>>67855197
bane?

>>67855201
when did eggman transition?

>>67855163
I know that feel Morrissey


I know

>>67855218
cucked as the Guardian may be, it's still a better paper than the Express.

>>67855106
I have a 10 hour shift at maccas tonight and the niggers there get spit in their food

>>67855213
>>67855227
lmfao

it looks like as if eggman was a 12 year old dyke

>watching the news
>has footage of the stampedes from last years black Friday
>the heaving masses are 95% paki or wog, the remaining 5% look like Vicky pollard

really gets the synapses firing

>>67855227
>>67855258

fuck off this is my joke

>>67855238
surely you jest

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>>67855163
>need job to survive
>job makes me not want to live
ah yes

>>67855273
prove it wanker

>>67855218
better than most lefty papers

>tfw a Muslim told me to be careful with pikeys.

Made me kek desu

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>>67855278
Such is life as a wageslave

>>67855289
check /int/ circa 2015

>>67855201

She too young, but very pretty imo. Always kinda liked tomboys though.

got an interview for a call centre job

is it worth it or nah

*hops in time machine*

>>67855294
whats a pikey

>>67855033
>switch all her bras and knickers around
confirmed never having shared a room with a woman

>>67855337
If you want to live in India

>>67855277
the express is ridiculous lad. newspaper for turbororke grannies only

>claiming gimmicks
could there be anything more runtier?

>>67855342
A gypsy

lads
the gf said she loves me again
this is a nice feel

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tried living in the real world instead of a shell

but before i began, i was bored before i even began

>>67855357
its in the uk

>>67855373
never had a gf in my 21 years haha

would like to know this feel

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>>67854363
really makes one ponder

>>67855373
FONT

>>67855357
Call centres are rife in the north as well
I think they spring up wherever the general populous are uneducated and in need of below minimum wage jobs after spending £30,000 on a piece of paper

>>67855277
Here are the main stories on the Express front page, quoted exactly
>'Hang your head in SHAME' Remoaner Tim Farron ROASTED by Brexiteer on Question Time
>'Get off the stage!' Nick Ferrari RIPS into 'lefty luvvies' preaching about politics
>What REALLY sent it down? Shock report reveals 9/11 tower DID NOT collapse because of fire
>Paedophile baby rapist found dead in his cell after inmates took contracts out on him
>'PACK OF FERAL WOLVES' Mob of 30 youths STOMP on policeman's head in horror attack

These are the MAIN stories. Yes, the Guardian is full of awful lefty opinion pieces. But they actually cover real news in the meantime, they don't usually push it to the front of the paper or the main website page

i wanna fuc

>>67855384
never had a gf either but my 2yo nephew says he loves me and that feels pretty nice

>>67855373
It's a nice feeling isn't it. It's a shame love doesn't mean anything to women and she has probably been fucking around with other guys since you met

>>67855338
*hops behind you*
are you too late for me, or am I just in time for you
*sinks in the fangs*

>>67855384
you can have my ex if you want haha

>>67855406
no i think not haha

>>67855425
He wants the cock.

>>67855430
fucking hell, who hurt you?

>>67855412
>not one story about diana
you sure that's the express lad?

>>67855434
FONT

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>>67855193

>>67855430
someone got hurt hahaha

>>67855434
>no i think not haha

Just finished my first month at work after NEETing
wages were supposed to go in today
they haven't done

absolutely fuming, what can I do about this???

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you're nothing but exposable pawns to me

none of you shall reach the end of the board when i'm playing

>>67854526
kek

>>67855412
>remoaner
>lefty luvvies
howling

>valid conspiracy theory
>anti-noncery
>supports police
don't see a problem.

Uhm... don't see a problem, sweetie :) xx Maybe you should have a look at the Morning Star, you filthy leftist

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>but before i began, i was bored before i even began

>>67855471
*reaches the end of the board
haha alri

>>67855470
>phone up HR
>scream down the phone

if no HR

>phone up manager/boss
>scream down phone

make sure you double check your hours lads, cunts like to chop off a few hours during christmas time just to see if they can get away with it

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>>67855412
>"Remoaner" used by a highly circulated """newspaper"""

>>67855411
should i work in one?

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this is important

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>>67855470

>>67855486
>supposed to turn into a queen
>didn't because you already are one
ooh 'ello

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Start work on monday lads
Anxiety is already kicking in haha

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>>67855471
at the end of the game, the king and the pawn go back in the same box my friend

>>67855477
alri granny

>>67855534
>start new job
>first lunch break
>eat lunch alone
>immediately become "that weird guy"

ahh yes

>>67855539
deep

>>67855520
really made me think

>>67855530
a-are you flirting with me?

>>67855070
commo

>he doesn't read the Daily Sport exclusively

>>67855539
Cela me fait vraiment réfléchir

>>67855511
i wish I had been in a coma
life is crap

Wish those public sector shitters would fuck off with their stike action. It's all you see on the news

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Cause Jesus he knows me
And he knows I'm right
I've been talking to Jesus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I'm right
And he's been telling me
Everything is alright

>>67855530
I always wonder why you had to option to change for anyone else. Perhaps a Knight in very specific circumstances but bishops and rooks can fuck off.

>>67855511

really gets the noggin tocking

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>fucking hell, who hurt you?

>>67855555
I eat in my car
shant be talking to any normoids

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But Jesus hurt me
When he deserted me, but
I have forgiven Jesus
For all the desire
He placed in me when there's nothing
I can do with this desire

does anyone else press the traffic light button whenever they cross even if they dont need to?

I like pissing off carwankers, they dont know the struggle of being a walkwanker

once had some chad roll down his window when I pressed the button and crossed immediately, haha fucking carwankers

>tfw no qt twin sister to have sex with

>>67855442
Nobody hurt me it's just the truth. Women are shallow as fuck and don't care about anything other than themselves. Have a friend who turned down a guy because he was he was too old for her he was 10 years older. 1 month later she has a boyfriend who is 20 years older but has a lot of money

>>67855520

Literally screeching at this

>>67855564
The Sunday Sport is the lewdest paper around

>>67855555
do they really expect you to have anything in common with normdroids?

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>>67855587
That picture is fabricated, right? I mean obviously the photo itself isn't, but the text was just added on by someone just panning fedora nerds, right?.. Right?

new online moniker: skweezy jibbs

>>67855555
Matey who used to work at my work would go sit in the car park for his lunch so we all started calling him Kirby

>>67855642
howling

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>That picture is fabricated, right? I mean obviously the photo itself isn't, but the text was just added on by someone just panning fedora nerds, right?.. Right?

>>67855637
i don't think so

>>67855640
no it's mine

Good god lads just missed the bus and now have to wait a solid 10 mins in the fucking Baltic weather

>>67855587
This is unironically what I think my gf would like.

/r9k/ is a roleplay board, r-right?

not long until the annual /brit/ awards lads

which gimmick is going to win gimmick of the year?

tim is a strong contender for new talent award

traffic light button wanker loves his traffic light button

>>67855679
haha buswanker

>>67855458
that's my favourite 2bh

>>67855637
what's the problem? seems like a great guy to be around, I'd fuck him

Paper Rankings:

The Telegraph>Financial Times>The Times>>>>The Guardian>The Daily Mail>>>The Express>The Independent>>>tabloid runtery

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the VERY pinnacle of good comedy

>>67855679
Man up

>>67855679
Dance lad, dance.

tfw non anglo masterrace

>tfw 20
>tfw never did anything more than kissing with a girl
lads am I fucked? If i get a date at this age im gonna be so fucking inexperienced

>>67855704
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_p5Fv6mkTM

comfy I've got wifi on the train
wonder what flag I'll be

>>67855704
Nostalgia'd
>>67855718
Who cares? Fuck her anyway

>>67855702
alri Mr Murdoch

>>67855693
runt should get most misused gimmick of the year desu

>>67855693

ballbusting

>>67855718
be confident

>>67855729
Where are you ?

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>This is unironically what I think my gf would like.

>>67855702

Let's be honest now - The Guardian is head and shoulders above the other papers as soon as you ignore the comment is free/column sections.

>>67855693
"ah yes" posting will win best gimmick by a mile

Best personality will probably be Matthew Ludford or the MexicANO

Tim might win an honourable mention

That "brexit will cost us £60 billion" quote supposes that lower immigration will cost us £16 billion

>>67855759
>Matthew Ludford
Stop saying that, he's done fuck all

/brit/ at 10am is literally orders of magnitude better than evening /brit/, it's surreal

>>67855744
>>67855748
all 2015 gimmicks you fucking newfags.

>>67855752
racist

>>67855718
I did absolutely nothing with a girl until I was 23
She didnt even notice, or if she did she never said anything

>>67855718
literally do this

>go on date where you guys just get drinks
>get drunk
>fuck drunk
>can write bad root off on being drunk

or

>pick up club runt
>fuck her
>give zero fucks about what she has to say afterward

>>67855718
yeah should probably just give up desu haha

>>67855752
a new-right for new-males perhaps :^)

>>67855753
train from vienna to prague, still in Austria at the minute though haha

>>67855752
to be fair if you come out and go full white nationalism your chances of ever getting elected nose dives.
Thats why you need to hide it as being against multiculturalism and mass immigration

>>67855702

>the telegraph above FT
>The guardian not = daily mail

shit list

>>67855775
umm it's 9 pm sweetie x

>>67855752
sorry but I'm unironically not a racist

>>67855775
because the aussies are asleep in the evenings

>>67855777
doesnt matter its all gimmicks not just this years one
theres a reason onenof the categories it best new

>>67855798
FT is too anti-brexit

>>67855805
Uhm its 11 dear...

>>67855754
The problem is I do nothing from the picture. I think she is just with me because she doesn't think she can do better kek

>>67855775
this 2bh
yanks are asleep, aussies are awake and the wankers are at work

>>67855839
hmm, no honey.
It's 6:20 pm

>>67855729
>wifi on plane
>airline b& 4chan
>tfw I never got my mile high flag

>>67855702
>the express
http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/661374/IRA-and-ISIS-working-together-to-launch-CAR-BOMB-CAMPAIGN-on-Britain

Ah yes

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You on EE mate?

>>67855868
>>67855839
hmm nice try sweetie but it's 8:22 pm

>>67855702
>tfw there are no legitimately non-politically biased newspapers

life is hard for the radical centrist like myself.

>>67855837

because they're not thick as pig shit

posted here under a yank vpn once and got treated like dog shit, why do yanks post here?

>>67855790
Don't get stabbed at the train station.
t. Almost got beaten up outside the Prague train station.

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>>67855729
im on the train right now and I get a union jack even though im in ireland
its the only time I feel accepted on /brit/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXUIIxkpdas

Yoga 710 lad?

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>>67855897

>>67855920
Why

>>>67855936
>>67855927
>>67855924
>>67855920
>>67855903
>>67855897
>>67855885
>>67855915
>>67855914
>>67855912


lucky we arent ancap because youd get fucked for violating the NAP on me

>>67855915
Less leafs than /cum/ and also more lively

>>67855964
eastern europeans are monkeys

>>67855927
do people actually listen to this recreationally?

>>67855924
potato famine

>>67855912
Impartiality is a meme. Just read a selection of mainstream media outlets as well as alternative media outlets to get a greater perspective of the whole story and make your own mind up on what's the most reliable version of information

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>>67855987

>Your best fit is... Hard-Pressed Skeptic
really makes me think

>>67856004
>haivng to read 4 newspapers to know what happened in one story

>>67855985
I do

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hmmmmm

>>67855964
No idea really. One guy walks past makes strong eye contact with me and hand gestures to group next to me they stand up and start walking towards me talking and all looking at me didn't want to find out what they wanted so I left.

Im actually in class posting lads, LOL

>>67856004
this
you're better off reading two opposing arguments than some poofter who fence sits

>>67856022
that's how it works lad

>>67856036
Why does google think you are a paki

>>67856027
where's trump's presidential campaign on the list?

>>67856036
the irony here is making me howl

>>67856058
not sure all I do is post on /brit/
oh right nvm

>>67856039
your zipper was undone with your small bollocks hanging out and he was signalling to his m8 who spoke english to tell you that

>>67856039
Ah
I got locked in a shop in Egypt once
They tried to force me to buy something to let me leave
Shant be going to any arab countries again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zK67m96drVo

me on the bottom left

The Guardian news>other newspapers>>>>The Guardian opinion pieces and columnists

>>67855702
The Guardian is literally meme SJW tier like the Independent now, absolute rag of a paper

The newspaper my 8 year old brother made >>>>> All other newspapers

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Going to watch last night's 'tince on the old iplayer

>>67856145
the guardian is alright for like current events like say you want to know about a conflict in Sierra Leone or something,its the opinion pieces you need to avoid

>>67856129
*picks up metal bar*
*beats you into a pulp*
thats better

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>white people

In the future when machines do everything people always talk about a universal basic income, but couldn't we just do away with currency altogether? Thanks

>>67856117
>Tfw no Egyptian qt

>>67856145

this desu. It used to be alright, now it's shit.

>>67856118
why does this guy have JUST hair

and an annoying yank voice to boot

>>67856175
>in route

ARGHHH

*clenches stomach while writhing in pain*

>>67856175
>in route

>>67856175
ah yes, let me cover my food in a myriad of different seasonings to cover my terrible cooking skills and runt tier meat

black """people"""

>>67856175
not defending white people, but i made a guinea fowl with lots of spices and with a marinade and stuff

and i made one plane with just salt and pepper

and sadly the latter one tasted better. as far as roasts go, simple is better.

>>67856175
I don't think I'd want that much seasoning on it desu

you'd need a litre of water just to clear all the salt from a single slice of it

>>67856185
>In the future when machines do everything

including fucking i'd assume

>>67856226
>>67856214
>literally proving the picture right

>>67856202
had that same feeling today

>>67856240
that you don't need 5 kg of seasoning on a turkey to make it taste good?

>>67856175
tight turkey looks a lot more plump

can tell left is some cheap bird they have had to cover in seasoning

>>67856185
FOCT

i'm looking forward to a hyper-capitalist future where everything is disposable and you don't matter

>>67856265
that white people have no taste and enjoy dry, bland meat

>>67856175
>eating turkey

chicken for me at christmas, v. v. cheap and never sold out