/brit/

$0.00 per annum

Can't seem to find a girl that is worthy of my presence?

>>67839763
>maths edition
one of the clubs near where I live posted a maths problem on facebook earlier today as a competition to win vip entry
needless to say, the answers were a shitshow

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having one of these in the morning lads

Ahh... differential equations. Fascinating stuff...

NOT!

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SPACE
JAM
REMUX
ON
FREELEECH

today is a good day

>>67839874
Lose the carbs la

might kill myself haha

>>67839763
Lads if a girl wants me to stay over then is she dtf? Im autism and virgin so don't know about these things

tia lads

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think im gunna have a little cry and then good to bed, night lads

>>67839874
that looks terrible

>>67839912
likely

>>67839917
same

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>>67839927

typical /brit/ poster

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXG51MNJjoQ

>>67839912
Literally yes.

runts asking me for help on coursework due in tomorrow

ummmmm honey it was set 2 weeks ago sorry haha x

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Business idea: Replace Pepeposting with this.
I call him XOROX

>this London office workers scene on The Apprentice
>all these 20-somethings

so, so, so grim

>>67839912
No m8 it's a trick, when you get there all her friends will be there to laugh at you for thinking she fancied you.

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https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/173199
>tfw all the people who voted in this are now on a government list

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post defining albums of your youth lads
from when i was 15 to 17 (im 19 now) this album was on at every single party/event I went to. I lost my virginity to it. It makes me feel knowing I cant go back to those situations tbqh.

it would be cool to have a qt gf whos actually a good person who actually loves you

>some random shopkeeper on the panel

bizarre

>>67839912
who knows

>>67839967
literally and unironically think you're referencing me
arthur?

I would like to announce my arrival to this thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGkTIiu5diA

>>67839917
night m8

@67839983

'no'

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I am bored

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>>67839983
I also lost my virginity while listening to Alt-J

>>67839937
>>67839958

Thanks JF lads, I'll be back with some top banter tomorrow about how I fucked it up

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>>67839983
I stayed at home and listened to loveless on my 16th instead of going out and getting smashed like a normal lad

>>67840042
alri loller

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>>67839983


lost my virginity to this when i was 14. was on in every jazz club in the city.

>>67839763
I get this image :^^) im so smart look at me

http://www.strawpoll.me/11726424
http://www.strawpoll.me/11726424

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>>67839972

gf is being a fucking lunatic again

might have to put her in the bin

>>67839983
>>67840076
>>67840109
FONT

haven't smoked marijuana in nearly 48 hours


this should be quite the ride hahaaa

>>67839983
>I lost my virginity to it.
getting fucked up the ass doesn't count

>losing your virginity inside on a bed listening to music

lol plebs

literally lost my virginity outside in the mud behind a club for teens

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>>67840041
no

but stop annoying arthur or he'll throw you in the pit

>>67840083
>instead of going out and getting smashed like a normal lad

can say this for nearly every birthday and holiday i've ever had

ah yes, cum all over my pubes once again

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thoughts on these? 60% off and i need new boots

Got called a charleston prickhole lads

>>67840195
literally the most un funny and yankish post i've ever seen
fuck OFF

it's mental how fucking stupid the entire question time audience are

>>67840226
rude

>>67840196
getting fucked up the ass doesn't count bro

wanked while listening to merzbow once if that counts lids

>>67840196
FONT

>>67840220
horribly inflated price without the sale and even with the sale they look a bit dumb and gross

get some chelsea boots and don't fall for the black friday jew

Every kiwi is a mong

Havent seen one remotely normie kiwi poster

very drunk lads

if you were a clown at childrens parties what would be your theme song

mmhmmmmmmmmmmhmmhmmhmgmggfm

>>67840229
They're available on a Thursday afternoon, all the intelligent people are busy.

It's very painful dating when you're autistic

>on a date with a girl who's a few years older
>'hey want to come back to my place and smoke some weed'
>'oh I don't smoke haha'

>>67840240
sorry you just referenced a very sensitive time in my psycho-sexual development, causing me to lash out (possibly a psychological regression to a time when sex was something to be made fun of like when i was a child?). I will consult with my colleagues and find out what caused this outburst and how to stop it happening in future.

>>67840302
good point actually

>>67839862
post it here hahaha

lost my virginity to the first performance of mozart's little g minor

>>67840287
There is someone
Walking behind you,
turn around, look at me.
There is someone
Watching your footsteps,
turn around, look at me.

>>67840285
considering this shithole island is a normie stronghold I highly doubt that

FOL

>>67840313
>>67840327
FONT

>>67840076
maybe we had sex with each other
are you a half-greek girl

>>67840220
They're nice senpai, would cop

>>67840285
kiwi's cant post lad they are a fruit

>>67840313
You made the right choice. Weed is shit-tier.

>>67840313
theres a first time for eveything


and 2bh a lot of times... when you smoke weed with a girl 1 on 1.... sex happens

lost my virginity in total silence haha

Anybody else get claustrophobic when they wear a hat

back again la, if a girl is dtf how do I go from chatting to her to having my wilkins in her, I genuinely don't know, being a virgin and that
she's azn too, do I just whack out my BWC and go from there?

>>67840297
is this a town in wales

just ate an entire dozen krispy kreme doughnuts

>>67840217
>not holding the tip of your foreskin closed so the cum fills it up, then emptying it in the bin

>>67840396
Well yes NO SHIT ya seppo

literally lost my virginity while listening to justin bieber with a fat girl

lost my virginity to a scottish girl

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>>67840323
>>67839862
just went back and found it
so many people got it wrong that they pretended everyone was right
wew

>>67840418
screaming

>>67840313
sounds like you did the right thing desu. choosing to not smoke weed but then smoking it because a girl asked you to is the epitome of beta

>>67840357
yes, actually

wow

>>67840421
fat fuck

weed makes me more autistic tbqh
I just turn into a babbling retard

>invited to Kik group chat
>strangers saying where they're from
>say I'm from Wales
>"LMAO SHEEP SHAGGER!"
>"do you really fuck sheep??"
>"You don't look like a sheep shagger"
>"Wales, isn't that part of England?"

hate crimes need to STOP

>>67840153
>>67840254
>>67840347
thanks for the (You)s

>>67840440
Don't think it counts if it's ur mum

>>67840447
Yes but I could have just gone over and then said 'oh I'll just have a drink instead', or even just suggested drinks in the first place

I didn't negotiate the situation

i am a virgin and i am scared of women

>no krispy kreme in Boston

hrgikemfdklmvdfv

>smoking weed

Sorry la', i only take superior stimulants

>>67840404
sometimes

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>tfw already poor as fuck
>tfw can't get any poorer
>tfw Brexit will have no effect on me

lost my virginity in an indeterminate time (and sex) in the future

babestation

>>67840451
i fell for this for a second and it made me feel
NOT happy about you tricking me like this

>>>/tv/76607866


would u?

>>67840421
didnt even know they sold them in uk

http://youtu.be/xCwsSkyCxrM

I lost my virginity to a man

>>67840506
Sorry lad, you're unable to afford your internet bill

*disconnects you*

>>67840547
Good lad

>>67840485
why didn't you want to smoke weed with her? is it against your religion or something?

>>67840478
alri gavin how many sheep you fucked today hahahaha
or should i say
baaah baah baah baah

>>67840443
How was it

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the gf

>poley got arrested again

o i am laffin

lost my virginity to a 40 year old romanian hooker who looked like she had a rough paper rounder

>>67840531
mate, they sell them in tesco
they've entire shops dedicated to them in some cities

Kicked the chinese gfs buck teeth in

The whore cooked fried rice instead of noodles like i told her

>>67840396
>theres a first time for eveything

absolute normie runt mindset

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>>67840506
>tfw killing myself
>tfw Brexit will have no effect on me

>>67840444
hahahaha 55, what a fucking mong

14 is masterrace answer

>>67840547
Maybe you can get it back in small claims court

>>67840566
I had recently heard that smoking weed before 25 has the potential to induce psychosis

>>67840444
It's 10 innit
I see how you could get 14 if you did bodmas wrong but 55????

>>67840579
quite good actually

she was a bit older than me

>>67840531
they have them in city centres
they literally just sell donut, for like 4quid PER donut

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WELL WELL WELL LADS

TELL ME

WOULD YOU OR WOULD YOU NOT?

I lost my virginity to a vibrating PS3 controller

Lost my virginity to a 40-year-old when I was 20

>>67840485
suggesting changing it to drinks is a good call but saying yes then changing it to drinks when you get there is not

>>67840593
sounds like something a chinaman would do

>>67840526
Obviously

You'd have to be gay not to

*smokes weed before the age of 25*
*moves into flat spracklen house dukes place marlow buckinghamshire*
ah yes, the dentist

>>67840659
was he a twink? did he powerfuck you?

brought up poz cuckolding at thanksgiving dinner and my father asked me to be quiet or leave the table

been drinking since ten am and i dont think they are a fan of my new habits

want to go back to my university asap

>>67840444
fucking hate clubs
i followed one of my local ones on snapchat cos they were giving out free food at a fresher's fair and now it's like a fucking car crash that i can't stop watching.
They're already advertising for New Years Eve events there and every single photo and video is the exact same. It's like groundhog day

>>67840654
Post feet pls

>>67840678
>smoking weed after the age of 25

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WELL YOU'RE NOT LAUGHING NOW, ARE YOU?

>>67840691
the state of you

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>>67840659
Hope he was gentle, lad

>>67840691
he was just jealous because he's never tried it

>>67840624
oh ye I said 14 but I'd done it the wrong way around by mistake hahaha bit awkward that

still have no clue how someone got 55 hahaha

thought about going on a racially charged rant at the dinner table but decided against it

>>67840678
reminder Tim has no brother, and induced his schizophrenia by taking LSD as a young lad.

He made the brother up and found a pic of him and his mate and thought it was them

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Tea, anyone?

is having sex like in porn where it's really vigorous and out in the open or is it like a few minutes of rubbing together under the covers

>>67840617
please don't joke with me this is a serious discussion board

>>67840624
yeah, far as I can tell, the people that got 55 fucked up in every way possible: some bloke's answer "55 - square is 9 , triangle is 5 and circle is 41"
crikey

>>67840696
honestly I haven't been to this place in years so same. it's really been going downhill very badly since one other club opened and actually gave it some competition

http://www.gq.com/story/why-angry-white-men-love-calling-people-cucks/amp
http://www.gq.com/story/why-angry-white-men-love-calling-people-cucks/amp
http://www.gq.com/story/why-angry-white-men-love-calling-people-cucks/amp

>>67840580
aw fuck, i went to sports clips once because i had a coupon for a free "MVP Experience" haircut and it was terrible. worst haircut of my life

>hang out in the waiting room, keep hearing a low vibrating sound every 10 minutes
>"huh, they must be doing construction"
>get called in for my haircut
>crazy milf with a new jersey accent makes very awkward conversation
>fucks my shit up
>go in a dark back room to sit in a vibrating massage chair that doesn't really massage
>the lady starts rubbing a smelly shampoo into my scalp, because it was the mvp experience she had to wash my hair very sensually and slowly
>kept asking me if i liked that, kept saying "yeah" and she'd ask again
>finish and pay and feel like a guy who was ashamed to be with a hooker

>>67840742
hate this picture

IMAGINE still being a virgin lads

The fucking thought of it

>>67840796
You can get 55 by assuming all the operations are +, that's the only difference

>>67840594
its true though there was a first time that everything that ever exists has happened lad

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which one of you was this

>>67840817
Jesus christ

>yanks blogposting about their thanksgiving family meals

really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, do NOT care.

keep it in /cum/

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>>67840829
sarcastically screeching

just checked my (you)s from the other thread
made an australian lad VERY unhappy

Been going to this club, it's on the side of a big slope so it's steep getting up there but that's the whole allure

Probably not going to go back, it's been going downhill for years

>tfw pretty certain I'll be losing my virginity soon
bit nervous desu

>>67840778
Tim drowned when he was 4. His brother assumed his identity to keep his mother from going mad with grief, bit after a few years he started to lose his grip on which personality was real. He became the mask.

>>67840829
you know what i was feeling pretty down today, but you're right, at least I'm not still a virgin :))

>>67840890
boo

>>67840444
λ> 3 * 3 * 3
27
λ> 24 / 3
8.0
λ> 2 * 2 * 2
8
λ> let r = 3
λ> let g = 2
λ> r * g
6
λ> 96 / 6
16.0
λ> let b = 4
λ> b * b * r * g
96
λ> b + r * g
10
λ>

>>67840769
did that in relation to trump but thet stopped me when I got to poz cuckolding

very embarrassed to be honest

>>67840829
https://is.4chan.org/gif/1479469319775.webm

>>67840917
Welcome to the circus of autism

>>67840829
heh


don't even need to imagine it ----- i'm living it

>>67840901
Everyone is a bit shit when losing their virginity mate, no one is good at sex the first time. It's probably going to be a bit awkward and embarassing but it'll be a nice memory. Dont stress

>>67840962
thanks x

>On Black Friday 2013, Cards Against Humanity had an "Anti-Sale" with increased prices, and still had a sales spike and maintained its best-selling status on Amazon.

>On Black Friday 2015, the website offered a "Black Friday only" special offer: the opportunity to "Give Cards Against Humanity $5". There was a tick box to confirm that you understood "I am paying Cards Against Humanity $5 and receiving nothing in return". 11,248 customers spent $71,145 on the offer during the campaign. The company announced the company would distribute all money equally among the team members. Team members were asked to report back what they spent their money on. Many of them made donations to different charities.

ah yes the young reddit middle class generation

been having sex with the gf for well over a year now and sometimes i question whether or not i ever actually lost my virginity or if i just imagined losing it

probably jizzed in a vagina well over two hundred times and i still feel like a virgin some days

>>67840962
mine wasn't a nice memory

>>67840901
nice

get in there

>>67840994
do tell

do you put the balls in

>>67840962
My first time wasn't embarrassing at all

My SECOND time was embarrassing
>"did you come anon?"
>haven't even masturbated before by this time, so it's still a new experience
>"uh I dunno"
>she laughs

>>67840993
>probably jizzed in a vagina well over two hundred times

thats awesome


man sex sounds so cool

>>67840982
the so-called post recession

as ever it's been a rollercoaster lads but I'd best be off to bed
night

>>67840829
Swear to god im going to get out there af blower if you keep up with this

._.

>>67841032
all the way in

>>67840993
right, but you're not

>>67841047
bit gay

*squeezes my balls into your vagina*

alri missy now squeeze em

>the most hardcore SJWs are the biggest subs in the sack

why are women so fucked up mentally?

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>>67841047

>>67840932
why do all women in porn sound the same

im not sure if i even find that kind of voice attractive

>>67841039
>haven't even masturbated before by this time, so it's still a new experience
whauuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh?

>>67841064
nn x

>>67840873
is this a town in wales

>>67841039
the second time experience is how i remember my first time but my then-gf got very upset when i made a joke about how shit our first time was and insisted it was the second time. I honestly can't remember which was the first and which was the second. In one of them i went for like 2 hours then just started going soft, and she started wanking me to try and get me hard again with one hand and reading a book with the other cos she was so bored.

literally unironically smoking crack cocaine and watching maury

who am I

llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

>>67841119
and the best gimmick of 2016 goes to a yank

>>67841088
too many yanks

https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1479957197272.webm

>>67841129
>In one of them i went for like 2 hours
didn't happen

>>67841030
a very fat woman on tinder invited me over to her apartment and i had sex with her

>>67841139
I love riddles

the answer is man

>>67841141
is this a town in england

>>67841139
crack is WHACK

>>67841088
>im not sure if i even find that kind of voice attractive
You don't, she sounds retarded.

>>67841139
white trash

>>67841047
creasing

we'll make it lad don't worry. 21st century is the best century to be an autist, back in the day us guys just made mathematical formulas and died. we're about to have VR sex chambers soon

>>67841139
tyrone

>>67841174
dope is WHOPE

>>67841156
read the rest of the post you utter bellend
i wasn't some fuck monster, I was so nervous that I couldn't cum and was pushing rope at the end of it

>>67841163
Was it like 2 whales a washing machine?

>tfw studied both environmental science and economics
>tfw watching runts on 4chan argue over climate change and its possible impacts
>tfw none of them have any clue what they're talking about, left or right

quite satisfactory

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>>67841193

>>67841148
>>67840932
playing these at the same time

had very bad virginity losing experience

was with this girl and she was lying on my bed so i joined her, started kissing her but my plan didn't go much farther than this and i ended up having a panic attack
second time we tried she was on her period
third time i came in like 2 mins

ah yes, sex

>>67841228
didnt happen
why lie?

A good two hours

>>67841229
i'm actually not fat or particularly unattractive, just extremely introverted. she was probably 250lbs

>>67841250
double the abuse
double the stiffy

>>67841242
Haha don't care

>Watching a video
>Some girl's got a whale tail on the go
>Guy holding the camera wedgies her
>"Dad, you ripped it"
Hmmm

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*walks towards the camera*

>>67841272
>why lie?
exactly, literally why would i lie about this
I think you're just winding me up at this point

when I lost my virginity I got her pregnant because the condom broke and I didn't realise

fortunately she aborted it

Love when mummy gets angry :)

desu i was just drunk and she was obese

>>67841209
hear ,hear

inspiring words

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>MUH NHS

every fucking week

>>67841242
>tfw literally, unironically double majored in computer science and philosophy
>tfw see the strings of the world

>>67841288
kev18.png

>>67841165
I've almost become what I've mocked as a child
>>67841174
It's actually quite enjoyable and not as intense as they make it seem. It's just fast acting cocaine.
>>67841193
I have $60,000 in the bank, two years through uni, 90%+ plus in all my classes

>>67840444
It's 10 but this isn't a math problem, it's an attention span problem, it has to last long enough for you to notice the + sign in the bottom

lost my virginity when i was 21

ah yes, getting blood on your dick when you penetrate

>>67841360
that does not change a thing

need a /brit/ bf

>scrollwheel broke
>use pg up and pg dn to scroll 4chan
>use PC lab
>working scrollwheel

BLOODY LUXURY!

>>67841242
>tfw studying mechanical engineering
>don't understand anything and don't know if i want to be an engineer or what i want to do at all
>haven't even got laid at uni
>not even during freshers
haha lol x

>>67841091
I know right, I'm not even catholic

>have sex a few times at 20 with a few different women
>maybe 6 months to a year later
>with a woman, didn't feel much of a connect with after having sex
>"anon, if you're going around having casual sex without the intimacy why not just stay at home and masturbate"
>hmm

and here we are

>>67841345
my bachelor is in physics
i eat your degrees for breakfast

>>67841148
i was gonna say, some british accents in porn are absolutely horrific

[spoiler]post more[/spoiler]

what is the difference between "slim" and "slim straight" jeans

any big willies here? x

lost my virginity to my uncle when I was 12 haha

>>67841289
i hated this shit about reddit. used it for like a month when my dorm's IP was permabanned from 4chan because some guy accidentally posted a webm of what was apparently CP even though the girl didn't even look that young, 18 year olds look about the same as 16 year olds and it was pretty bogus

>>67841387
pls be in kernow

>>67841371
diabetes

>>67841400
follow ur dreams

How much is the imperial system still used in the UK? Will eurometers fuck off?

>>67841451
nonce

>>67841345
What does double major actually mean in yankland? I'm doing an economics and finance degree, is that a double major?

>watching a video of a girl having a wank
>she has fresh prince of bel-air on
>she wanks all the way through the episode and cums during the opening theme song of the next episode

>>67841402
fibre is important

>>67841456
tg pd

>>67841422
>>67840240
>>67840246

>What does double major actually mean in yankland
it probably involves food

>>67841453
honestly its completely random, people use whatever they like

with the exception of km, nobody uses km

>>67841514
actual nonce

My oneitis sucked my dick twice

>>67841382
Why not? They're accomplishments, things that typical drug addicts don't have.

heard Emma Watson is playing the title role in the live-action Beauty and the Beast lads

wonder who's playing the Beauty haha

Business idea: emigrate to Canada

>>67841453
we use stone and pounds for weight of people but kg for weights of everything else
when you buy land you buy it in acres but the house is given in square metres
road distances are given in miles and speed in miles per hour
boats travel at knots
haircut trimmers have grades rather than cm

>>67841472
it means you are studying two separate subjects at the same time, which means double the course load

for overachievers

>>67841543
>ansations
?????????????????????????????

>>67841453
We use ft and inches for height
Approximate journeys in miles
Stone for weight of people (but kg and g for all else)
I use inches generally due to 40k tabletop but for distances and shit we use cm
Everything government and industry related is metric

Metric is objectively better but we still use and learn both and I'm ok with that

reckon it's acceptable to be banging 16 year olds when your 29?

>>67841543
60% of american women have tried it

>>67841541
ah yes

naked clare on babestation

>>67841599
absolute nonce

>>67841544
nonce

>>67841581
is this true

>>67841547
swear it doesn't mean double the course load it's that you just take half of one degree and half of the other and graduate with a half and half

stop trying to make yourself out to be a superhero because you can do ifs in C and have read a bit of Marx

If I can get one brit poster to try crack for the first time I'll stop this

>>67841632
nonce

>>67841577
I you care, you don't deserve her

>>67841543
all white girls like to get shagged by dogs so some must like to watch it too

>>67841472
idk really

>>67841536
haha great post

it's a bit ironic that a feminist would star in such a sexist film though isn't it

>>67841581
clever pun 2bh
>>67841602
no

>>67841618
my dad smokes crack

>>67841618
Just tried, jobs done

>>67841629
>>67841632
How in the fuck

>>67841684
turbononce

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>>67841629
>>67841632

>>67841638
what is this meme

>>67841629
>>67841632
!

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>>67841602
google it


;^)

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>>67839983
Still fantastic.

>>67841644
ha ha yes, pun...

>>67841618
no mate, where i live there are tons of crack addicts about and they're unpredictable and pretty scary to be around

>there are girls that want you to urinate on their face

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hey guys

>>67841721
absolute nonce

a>>67841703

>>67841696
Why don't they just piss in their own faces. Piss is piss desu

>>67841662
no meme lad

tis the truth

>>67841730

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>>67841721
lasses can't do that la

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>>67841710
>>67841721

>>67841738
proof

>>67841756
smelly paki nonce

>>67841721
Reckon it's similar to why they don't just fuck girls

Attraction to the person innit

>>67841765
pêh at this post

>>67841746
WHO IS SHE

>>67841793
noncery to the maximum

>>67841704
awww

>>67841662
Look it up. man's best friend is fucking our women

>>67841721
i have pissed in my own face for sexual amusement but its really frustrating because i get and erection before the piss has a chance to come out

much better if another person does it i imagine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-dYNttdgl0

Brexit when?
Also why'd you retards elect ANOTHER woman to run your country? Literally never ends well.

>>67841811
>>67841811
>>67841811
>>67841811
>>67841811

>>67841765
i'm not paki

>>67841846
nonce

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do you guys get turrones from spain since they're your mexico

turron is rly good........

>>67841576
mixed use masterrace

using the imperial system colloquially is anglo heritage

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WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?????