/brit/

Say what you want but I'm most likely more attractive than 95% of people here.

might have to batter myself into a pulp lads

eating an orange lads

https://desuarchive.org/int/statistics/post-count/

Fucking hell that anonymous lad posts a lot doesn't he

Not even memeing but I started the Kev shooping gimmick.

The first one I did was him in Syria with two fighters.

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/éire/

Felt good taking it out on that Aussie lad tbqh

>>67688366
vandals and wends tbqh lad

the gf doesn't shave her muff lads

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Do you reckon she prefers meat and potato or steak and kidney?

finished my orange lads (it was a small orange)

stole half of this mugs orange when he wasn't looking

it was well tasty

*violates the nap*

Would rather be a virgin than shag an ugly chick

>>67688367
>Big Sam still hasn't killed himself yet
christ

>>67688379
not even funny

>>67688409
Think of it as added fibre, la

pranging out again lads

>>67688409
Not even trim?

>>67688433
what about an average/slightly cute girl?

>>67688412
hope it's meat and potato, kindey is rank

>>67688409
Bit grim that, is it smelly?

>>67688412

who is this greasy cunt? Looks pure filth.

>>67688434
that sargon isn't bog sim

>>67688442
t. Worst poster in /brit/
Ye know is funny lad? You're eternal virginity ya ugly lanky bastard
>>67688409
Nice

>>67688450
Stop smoking weed you little hippy

>>67688460
nah, it's the only bit not shave but it's not trimmed either

>>67688444
probably save e flossing before bed 2bh

>>67688471
nope, although I've never licked a fanny so...

>>67688493
got rather mixed feeling on the matter

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I got called daddy by a child in the school I do voluntary work at today by accident.

Really made me feel.

>>67688516
nonce

>>67688479
Olivia Buckland

>>67688516
bender

What would you prefer, gf with average face but really good body, or gf with really qt 3.14 face but pretty disastrous body? I'm currently in this predicament

>>67688516
Nonce

>>67688530
>>67688543
How is that noncery?

>>67688539
Yours doesn't even make sense.

>>67688516
remember when I called the teacher mum once

was fucking embarrassing everyone laughed at me

>>67688516
gay nonce

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hmmm

>>67688560
>working at a school for free
hmmmmm

>>67688560
bendernonce

>>67688484
oh

>>67688514
I prefer a bitta rug meself, bit kinky
What is it about it that bothers ye?

>>67688542
Define disastrous? Most things can be fixed by getting in shape

>>67688576
I want to be a teacher tbqh.

>>67688461
>average
no
>slightly cute
would have to have an amazing body

>>67688377
curious to see this particular Kev shop

The gf is objectively a 6.5/10 but relatively (comparing to girls in my area) she's a solid 8/10.

>>67688542
girls are more than just their appearance you know

that being said i would choose the former easily

>>67688597
nonce

Do you enjoy the music of Depeche Mode

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Ah yes, the much beloved BBC.

>>67688542
Face is the most important attribute imo
You shag a body, you fall in love with a face

>>67688587
mm, I guess I'm just used to shaved fannies

my knob can't really tell the difference

>>67688597
is that what you told them?

sick bastard

>>67688327

tell me about kev

why does he wear long purple ties

In class lads

>>67688562
ah m8 feel so sorry for you.
I on the other hand only pissed myself and had to alert the teacher and therefore the entire class

>>67688516
I genuinely want children now

honestly thought this sort of longing for them only happened to women until recently

>>67688597
nonce

>>67688591
Bit flabby, tits not the same size, nice bum but a bit cottage cheesy

>>67688562
>tfw me and me mates would piss off the teacher by just calling her miss
She was an absolute nutter, would always demand we call her MRS vandermast

>>67688643
nonce

>>67688633
My application is almost done, just waiting on one more reference to come in and I can send it off.

>>67688643
Yeah same, paternal instinct is a thing I guess.

>>67688628
If it bothers ye then just say to her about it. Nicely ofcourse. Sure it might even give her the opportunity to ask you to shave/dont shave that she's been too shy to bring up

>>67688634
for you hahah yank bants wahey

>the stepdad gave me some trousers that he bought a few years ago but never wore
>bit tight around the waist
gonna heem that skelly cunt

Wish I had've chosen to do something more productive as a degree instead of deciding to study maths

Gf has convinced me that liberal arts degrees mean far more to humanity and the planet than a useless STEM degree does

>>67688625
>Brits are so cucked they willingly purchase a license to watch TV and get this level of journalism as a result
howl'n

>>67688658
unless her tits are like, seperate cup sizes apart it shouldn't really matter. most girls have one breast slightly larger than the other
the rest can be fixed by saying to her "hey i'm gonna get into shape and eat healthy, you should do it too"
t. permavirgin who knows nothing about girls

>>67688697
>willingly

>>67688686
He lives near me, very nice man

>>67688686
>not shopping in a muse album

deary me

>>67688695
wew lad

>>67688639
stand up and scream allahu akbar and then beat up all the girls

>>67688597
I want to be a kid's entertainer if you catch my drift

>>67688697
>state owned media
>calling others cucked

lel k

>>67688695
how cucked can you be lmao

the gf does a humanities degree and I take the piss out of her all the time

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>anglos

>>67688710
One of them is at least a cup size larger and it's distracting

>>67688697
I don't pay for a license

they don't actually do anything about it other than send me sternly worded letters twice a month saying I really should pay for a license

>>67688722
>girls
It's an engineering class though

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>street smarts

>>67688658
stop complaining, at least you have a gf

>>67688734
alri jimmy

the gf has sligthly small but perfectly proportioned boobs

honestly prefer them to bigger uneven ones

feel like i need to wipe my bottom even though i've not done a poo recently

>>67688625
>black
>british
pick one

yes

no

glad i could sort that out

>>67688785
nonce

>>67688761
https://youtu.be/WpWHsi1VMxI?t=38

sometimes I have other tabs open in which there are some very serious conversations about very serious topics and I have to fight the urge to /brit/post in them

>>67688766
I don't though, I'm dating the qt face one but we haven't had full sex yet, and the other is a girl who I was shagging casually but now wants a more serious relationship

>>67688800
she's 18 mate (I'm in my 20s)

i understand how dogs became domesticated (humans using tame wolves for hunting, breeding them etc)
but how did cats? are there any wild species of cat that resemble domestic cats? what purpose do cats even serve?

>>67688830
NONCE
O
N
C
E

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Lads.

business idea: abolish the mainstream media

journalists are twats anyway

>>67688828
flip a coin

>>67688840
Yes

>>67688761
Grew up enrolled in the School of Hard Knocks, graduated summa cum laude from the University of Life

You might have some expensive paper to hang on your wall but that means jack shit in the real world. Come down from your ivory tower and I'll squash you under heel

never seen a pair of breasts irl so i'd take anything i could get

Dentist called in sick

Job Centre is half an hour
Driving instructor tried to reschedule but I told him to fuck off

Not going to use DNP, I feel too sick

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>stepdad

>>67688840
killing rats

>>67688840
Cats domesticated themselves

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doing a play

>>67688830
sex pest

just realised i'm fat lads :(

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Are The Cure fedora? I really like their music

tfw 23 with an 18 year old gf
go ahead, call me a nonce, I don't even care

>>67688875
are you still aiming to become a girl? what motivates you?

>>67688880
would be fine with being a stepdad as long as I had biological children of my own as well

>>67688905
Terrible graphics, wouldn't even bother downloading it

>>67688913
nonce

>>67688915
wtf thats my mum on the right

>>67688911
>ahh yes let me base my interests on the thoughts of others

>>67688907
can't argue with that one mate

>>67688830
love rat

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>>67688915
Made me think

>>67688856
Think I'm going to stay with qt face but encourage her to do some bloody exercise

>>67688923
This tbqh.

tfw 18 with a 32 yr old gf

go ahead, call me a little legend, it'd make me quite chuffed

>>67688911
no, what gave you the impression they were fedora

>>67688979
she's literally hit the wall, not an achievement you beta prick

>>67688979
Nonce

>>67688947
Just wondering, I'm not really too savvy on what's fedora music-wise

>>67688961
tfw perfectly average
not sure what to make of this

>>67688999
there's no universal opinion you dunce

if you like something then engage with it

>>67688911
the gf likes them

told her they sound like a bunch of mongs

>>67688979
32 is so fucking old.

>>67688982
Robert Smith is a big atheist

>>67688996
more of an achievement than never having a gf though isn't it? :^)

>>67688999
k-pop
j-pop
stuff like that only autists listen too

>>67688979
would rather be a poofter than go out with a woman that much older than me

>>67688872
i saw a topless woman once while walking down the street when i was 9

convinced sam hyde is fucked in the head

>>67689036
no, not really.

How is having a 'gf' any sort of achievement?

>>67688840
>A genetic study in 2007 concluded that domestic cats are descended from Near Eastern wildcats, having diverged around 8,000 BC in West Asia.[12][14] A 2016 study found that leopard cats were undergoing domestication independently in China around 5,500 BC, though this line of partially domesticated cats leaves no trace in the domesticated populations of today.

>>67689036
go easy on him lad, he's a virgin

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>>67689028
wow

it's not that old

>>67688377
first one was in /eire/

>>67688979
My last gf was 37 but I'm nearly 29

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54rhgUrzOXM

>>67689031
beck is a scientologist

doesn't mean his music is shit

>>67688905
>screenshot2016

don't even try to pass this off as OC m8

>he's nearly 29
>he still posts on 4chan

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>>67689075

>>67688920
I am still trans, yes

My gender dysphoria is what motivates me (that and since I'm sterile, there's no turning back)

4 with a 87 yo gf lads

>>67689097
I'm 36

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>tfw your formerly estranged grandmother calls you handsome

>>67688840
They were originally used for pest control, eg. rodents.

what does this poleaboo freak actually look like?
is xe even close to looking like a girl???

>>67689083
I didn't say the cure's music was shit mate

>he's 190kg
>he doesn't lose weight

>>67688961
TINY
ASIAN
PENISES

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>>67689116
yeah she is pretty sexy

>>67689111
how's life at 36?

FUCKING BROWN HAIR

WHYYYYYYYY

>>67689116
a catastrophe 2bh

lmao'd so hard when I saw his post medication pic

>>67689097
I'm 30

>>67689111
nonce

>>67689116
looks like a fat paki sex offender
no

>>67689143
fucking shit

the last 15 years has been a blur and I'm already way past the halfway point of my life

>>67689116
I need to remove my facial hair but I think my facial features are there (and so is my body)

>>67689139
Not a good pic

>>67689055
You have the knowledge that someone appreciates you for you, and you enjoy a committed relationship of mutual admiration based on attraction, friendship, romance, compatibility. Someone who is interested in you and wants you for as long as possible, someone you feel the same way about, someone you can open yourself up to and someone who can open themselves up to you. It shows that you're a person someone else would consider settling down with

Just saying, if anyone here is over the age of 27 and has sent me a reply of abuse, you really need to get a fucking grip on your life. I really mean it.

>>67689139
What the fuck is even going on with his hair he looks like a paki version of Jimmy Neutron

>>67689139
>godzilla
>man city flag
wow its actually xim, why did xhey think it was a good idea to post xheir face?

>>67689097
23 here

>isp's are now required to store information about what you do online for a year

yeah, a "year", of course...

>>67689178
m8 you look like a fucking nonce

Is are Tim alright? Haven't been watching his vids for about a month, is he still doing the same mental rant about people posting pics of Kev and Poleaboo?

>>67689192
Hair curls when you grow it, eventually it will be dragged down by its own weight

Reminder it you are not 18-20. You need to be out :)

>>67689182
mate, stop

he's a fucking virgin and doesn't have a clue what you're on about

>>67689190
you're one to talk you fucking spastic

>>67689174
oh... o-ok...

I wouldn't say your past the halfway point tbf.

How are womyn at 30+?

>>67689211
imagine if all the posts you'd ever made on 4chan were made public

people wouldn't know that 90% were ironic

>>67689195
>>67689212
I'll post a better pic next week

>>67689190
30 here, neck yourself

>>67689097
yeah and I was underage when I started

'kin 'ell

>>67689182
>It shows that you're a person someone else would consider settling down with

Ah yes right. Comparing yourself to how others think of you is always a good aim.

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>>67689227
>t.

>>67689221
his rants have pretty much dried up now he is away from the dentist and DPD and they've told him not to post his new address

just cannot comprehend being here past the age of 25 or so

the worrying thing there though is that a few years ago i couldn't comprehend being here at over 20

maybe i won't "grow up" anymore, maybe this is it now

If you weren't born in the following years:
1994
1995
1996
1997
1998

You need to leave /brit/

>>67689236
used up

>>67689297
everyone born after 95 should be killed

>>67689292
Oh good, the way things were going he was on the verge of doing something really dumb like trying to stab one of the DPD blokes

>>67689297
LITERAL CHILD GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEE

the lower half of the large field behind my house is now submerged, probably up to 10 inches deep in places
my street hasn't flooded in over 60 years but I'm starting to get a bit worried lads

>>67689295
35 here lad. you never leave. you think you will but you don't. you hate everyone here more and more but can't seem to stop coming back anyway. not a fan of being old tbqh

>>67689297
>94
>95
Alri granddad

http://www.strawpoll.me/11700988
http://www.strawpoll.me/11700988
http://www.strawpoll.me/11700988

VERY important

>>67689297
Hehe jokes on you kiddo I was born 1 second after midnight on new years 1993

>>67689319
oh good god.

no no no.

I need to get a 18/19 yo gf whilst I still can then.

>>67689297
ah ok sorry didn't realise it was kids hour

do we have to keep the posting clean, no swearing etc?

>>67689343
t. GCHQ

>>67689297
'96 here lads

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>2001 girls are legal next year

There's nothing I wouldn't be
To get to be together
There's nothing I wouldn't be
My heart depends on me
There's nothing I wouldn't do
Including doing nothing
There's nothing I wouldn't do
For you to be with me now sugar

Each time I go to bed I pray like Aretha Franklin
Each time I go to bed I pray like Aretha Franklin
Nothing, oh nothing
Because baby, baooo
I'm a would be
W. O. O. D.
I'm a would be would be
B. E. E. Z.

>96
Runtest year on that list

>>67689343
>I'm posting with literal children

>>67688695
maths is the worst stem degree for jobs imo

>>67689349
doxxed

*tuning gimmicks*..... Done
*Calibratring memes*..…..Done
*Loading modules slag, sleg, smeg, cheb, lad, la, kipper*...... Done
*Promoting -ise for -ize*.... Done
*Clearing runts*...... Done
*Entering /brit/.........

Smoke me a kipper, lads, feel like a full English this morning!

>>67689338
what advice would you have for your typical 20 year old /brit/poster?

lmao'ing at the 190kg sperg rn

he's going to be ancient before he gets a gf and she's going to be old and used up like mike tysons boxing gloves

>you now remember sitting at your computer on New Years Eve 2015
>you now remember the countdown to 2016
>you now realise it's been 8000 hours since that moment
>you now realise you've done nothing of note
>you now realise that the same will happen next year, and the next

daily reminder alexa is a filthy unwashed gook who's eye slits double as credit card readers

Born in 1998 desu lads. How does that make you feel?

>>67689343
>there are actual literal unironic children itt
OUT OUT OUT ROOOOOOOO

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>Hearthstone

>>67689343
>all the little babbus in this thread

>all these people roleplaying as 30 year olds

stop?

I was born a few months after Blair became Prime Minister and Diana died

feel like I missed out on some good banter tbqh

Just come from the future lads, somehow found myself here, what is /brit/?

>>67689401
no it wont

haha

born in 1977, probably the oldest cunt here desu

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24 with a 17yo fwb

your words cannot hurt me

>>67689394
cringing mate

>>67689401
lad i still remember waiting for it to be 12:12 on 12/12/12 and all those ones before it

>>67689401
>got a gf
>hit 2pl8 bench, 3pl8 squat
>one year closer to graduating university
been a good year for me m8

Bet Alan sugar is eyeing his chances up rn

doing a cheeky unrequited like

>>67689424
fucking child

>>67689401
I got a promotion and a new car this year little babbu

>>67689397
shame you're the only one then, idiot.

>>67689435
you serious? that means you're at least 38

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smashing

>>67689394
am I a fucking joke to you

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>ah ok sorry didn't realise it was kids hour
>do we have to keep the posting clean, no swearing etc?

>>67689295
Yeah. About to turn 25, thought I'd be a real normie when I turned 16 and could Legally Have Sex, then thought I'd be normie by 18 and was A Real Adult, then thought I'd be normie after university and Lived Away From Home, now haven't left the parents house except for work for 3 months

>>67689461
ah yes the world will surely remember you for that when you die

"remember that lad who got a promotion and a new car"

>>67689472
I'm about to smash your face right now

>>67689434
classic Star

>>67689434
absolute madman

Lads what's more pathetic

>dating someone 6+ years younger than you
or
>dating outside race

>>67689476
*A gimmick

*tuning gimmicks*..... Done
*Calibratring memes*..…..Done
*Loading modules slag, sleg, smeg, cheb, lad, la, kipper*...... Done
*Promoting -ise for -ize*.... Done
*Clearing runts*...... Done
*Entering /brit/.........

Smoke me a kipper, lads, feel like a full English this morning!

fuck

Remove the poles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cisJmIsrdkY

>>67689441
>fwb

what

>>67689469
40 in a few months wahey

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>he wasn't born in the mid 80s
>he didn't grow up with the Internet from its inception

>>67689394
You're an embarrasment to the flag

can't be arsed proxying but imagine I said "tfw 27 with a 6 year old gf" with a Thai flag

haha

>>67689481
>tfw there probably really are balding 20-somethings who still come here and think it's "their" website because they wasted their youth posting shitty reddit-tier memes here

>>67689516
That....is saying a lot

>>67689472
prediction: nigel thornberryposting to be the meme to take /brit/ by storm and sweep the gimmick awards 2017

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>I was born before 1997

>>67689512
jesus christ you're almost double my age

what the FUCK are you doing here?

>>67689490
>he cares about what the world thinks
Wew your life must be sad

>>67689510
the self styled friends-with-benefits

not to be confused with fob (friends-ON-benefits)

>>67689515
>there are unironically lads ITT right now that never had to use dial-up

>>67689496
neither is pathetic you weird prude

>>67689518
>can't be arsed proxying
*don't know how to proxy

Any man who is over the age of 30 and spends a substantial amount of time in Thailand is probably a nonce

>>67689515
the original REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE desu

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsNaR6FRuO0

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who /fatcunt/ here?

>>67689505
Nice

>>67689496
dating you

>there are literally teenagers in this thread right now

Rooooooooooo

shared a box of Roses yesterday

fucking hell the state of them

>>67689539
Haha yeah sorry bud don't kys I didn't mean it xx

>>67689553
There are lads ITT right now who have never used Limewire or Napster

>>67689548
your mum

>>67689569
Celebrations size? more like /skinnyrunt/

>>67689601
ah yes the old noncewire

>>67689609
think that was the joke mate

We didn't even have internet up until 8 years ago

>>67689578
that's harsh la

>>67689557
>going out of your way to date someone much younger than you isn't pathetic
>implying you wouldn't be called a race traitor

smhtbqhwyf

>>67689368
Woah

>>67689618
>noncewire
kek

having internet before 2006/2007 is just edge tier

>>67689619
I think you're the joke cunt

>>67689483
this is going to be me lol

>>67689601
My parents didn't let me use the computer except for school
Wish I grew up like kids today, they're hooked to the things from birth

>>67689622
Not even Satellite internet?

>>67689642
filtered

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>Back in my day we had to use dialup! Ah yes, such was the struggle for those of us born before 1997.... Have you seen Alice? She was suppose to bring me my pudding 15 minutes ago!

Rosy, Aisha and Sara were born in 1997 or 1998.
They would have left secondary school in 2014.

Now think about how many older men have spunked over them and in them.

>>67689642
I've had internet for 17 years

literally longer than half this thread has been alive

>Into my heart an air that kills
>From yon far country blows:
>What are those blue remembered hills,
>What spires, what farms are those?

>That is the land of lost content,
>I see it shining plain,
>The happy highways where I went
>And cannot come again.

To pour scorn on poetry, and to say that it is unimportant, is to declare yourself a spiritual desert. Of course people need these things; and what’s more, they’re a profound part of being British. If you don’t know the literature and the poetry and the music of your own country, then you aren’t really fully conversant with its history and its character.

You’ve lost touch with what your ancestors knew, and you won’t be able to pass it on to your own children and grandchildren.

>>67689658
>get called out as a spacker
>better start insulting people to detract away from that

>>67689669
You have shit parents mate, I used to play Doom and Duke Nukem 3D with my dad, good times

>>67689512
You're older than my parents lol.

>2016 American presidential election
>Started in 2015
>Dont get a new president until 2017

>>67689383
You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about then

Maths is the most broadly applicable STEM possible

>>67689689
sara is pure

>>67689710
Fuck off literal child, what the fuck

>>67689553
i never used it cause my dad had contacts in the big ISP here so we had cable when it was first rolled out in '96

>>67689717
US election campaigns have been getting longer since the 1950s, when Kennedy ran the entire campaign was 55 days for example.

Unironically had the internet in my house since 1995

>>67689690
God you really are fucking stupid aren't you. Look at the fucking poll

Old internet days were the best. If you wanted a web page you made your own, none of this facebook bullshit

>>67689728
My mum was a bit of a slag, had me when she was 15/

>>67689687
Alice, Alice? Who the fuck is Alice?

>>67689728
I'm 22. My parents are 38 and 39.

Is a .22 round deadly enough to kill with one shot to a human’s head?

My father had a party yesterday and the house was full of people. I was sitting down on an armchair in the family room when my older sister sat on my lap. All the other chairs had people in them so she didn't really have a choice. I have been attracted to my sister for ages so when she sat on my lap I started getting a boner.

I was worried she could feel it but the thought of her feeling my boner made me get harder. I was poking her in the butt really hard and my boner was starting to throb. I think she noticed because she got up and went and got a drink.

But then she came back and sat on my lap again, this time her skirt kind of puffed out so her panties were on my shorts. I was still really hard and my boner started throbbing and poking her between her cheeks. I was wearing loose shorts and boxers so it was really poking into her hard.

She kind of wriggled around and I could feel her pussy against me through my shorts. It was really warm and my boner was poking right into it. She was sort of tensing her legs a bit and moving up and down slightly and it was driving me crazy. I started getting really close to cumming but she kept moving a bit so I started pushing into her as well.

After about a minute I cummed really hard into my shorts and she stopped moving while my boner pumped. She got up and pretended like nothing happened and went and talked to our grandmother. I put a pillow on my lap because there was a big wet patch on my shorts. Later on I snuck away and spent the rest of the night in my bedroom. I thought about what happened and jerked off.

>>67689710
is your mum single?

>>67689342
how fucking young are you?

>>67689710
Wew teenage pregnancy wew

>>67689764
Nah she is married, she has been in a relationship with my Dad since she was 14.

I remember saying it was my 15th birthday on a forum once.

Sigh...

>>67689706
Yeah it backfired too
I'm jealous though, missed out on some classic 90s kid moments

>>67689758
nah would just bounce off
t. bulletologist

>>67689747
I wonder if my Geocities page is still up

>>67689758
Sure
If you are a soft cunt

back in my day we used [technology], but now all the kids today are using [technology]

how things have changed

>>67689760
nonce

>>67689789
nonce

>>67689744
look at this *hooks you one in the mouth*

>>67689697
oh dear lad the absolute STATE of you

>>67689805
Doesn't even make sense mate.

new
>>67689815
>>67689815
>>67689815

>>67689750
>>67689755
ladies and gentlemen, the northern powerhouse

>>67689758
Maybe but I wouldn't risk it. The Bjork guy used a .22 and you can see him still alive for a few seconds after the shot.

>>67689834
How did you know I am Northern?

>>67689791
I remember being "outed" as a kid on a forum cos I had 95 in my name, my excuse was that it was my "kids" birth year lmao

>>67689747
unironically miss midi background music and cursor trails

join my webring lads

>>67689789
well have them hit me up if they ever need a strong australian bull

insane how much the post rate has increased

about an hour or two ago there were cases of 3 or 4 minutes between posts but now there are upwards of 20 posts in that period

>>67689758
only one way to find out lad

File: 1479558961361.jpg (27KB, 640x301px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 640x301px

>>67688979
been there, done that
ended terribly
good luck m8