/brit/

plymouth is actually an alright place

*fingers the piss hole*

>POOGLAND

ay sí, el así llamado /brit/

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AND YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF

got shit in my arse

>the clit is a hole

have any of you virgins ever even seen a fanny?

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*zooms*

Is a womans piss hole below or above the hole where your cock goes?

Had sex 4 (four) times and never even noticed

>>67461153

pretty sure girls pee from the clit hole

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What's that one thing you would change if you had the chance?

>>67461168
to the side

>>67461143
needs to see a tailor lol x

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3D women are NOT important

ughhh ughh i got 4 A*s in my A Levels and i went to oxford I'm 6 '4 ughhhh im so superior im going to brag about it on /brit/ ughhhh

Mandem

Theres a jam in my endz

Any man wanna reach? Bare catties are coming thru

>>67461187
i wouldn't have gotten kicked out of the military

>>67461184
piss hole is above the fanny but below the clit

the clit is not a hole

>>67461200
you have a point tbf

you're all melts

the clit is the bit between the arsehole and the fanny hole

>>67461237
>the clit is not a hole
It's a baby willy

>>67461257
nonce

had a friend in year 9 who said that women have 2 clits and i was fairly sure he was wrong but i went with it anyway so he'd think i was cool

>>67461252
what's the g spot then

>>67461300
that's in the arse

>>67461300
female testicles

>>67461257

and the willy has a hole

conclusion: the clit hole and the elusive piss hole are in fact the same hole

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anee-may

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>>67461247
We need to invest more in making 2D real

>>67461315
Mind.
Blown.

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>>67461342
we already have it over here

>POOGLAND
>POOGLAND
>POOGLAND
>POOGLAND
>POOGLAND
>POOGLAND
>POOGLAND

Was selling mushrooms in Finland and the Finnish police refused to allow me to get a lawyer then assaulted me

Theyre proper racist to us estonians

>tfw believe in karma, reincarnation & past lives
>white and not remotely leftist

hm

What's the next big movement lads?
I missed out on the alt-right, and I want to jump on for my personal gain

>>67461329
what is this one? need to dl it and not watch it like the others

my dad walked in on me twerking to ariana grande just now

should have seen the look of disappointment in his eyes

what are tampons for

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This is the hardest man in England lads

>>67461397

might make a big movement before i go to bed desu

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Alright here is a drawing to explain it to you

>>67461390
joonas

Are there cute women in england??

>>67461391
you were a nonce in your last life
probably still are

>>67461417
got a laugh from me

>>67461391
same plus i'm a vegetarian and do shitloads of drugs

>>67461381
classic england

>>67461391
fairly woke

guessing because that aussie didn't post his internet speed it means it's 200 kB/s and he has to clear out the huntsman's nest in his router every week

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>>67461390
Havin' a little giggle on our expense, eh?

>>67461428
did a crease

gf is making me rub my bellend against her arsehole again

>>67461450
Should've kept Southgate on a game-game contract and England would've won the WC

poo poo poo

>>67461381
wish I watched it now

>>67461490
while you're posting?

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>>67461428

>tfw my parents are literally like 5'0 or something

fucccc pOoooo

>>67461490
my gf makes me do that she says it feels good but she never wipes her arsehole properly and she always has visible shit stains on her undies

>>67461420
nosebleeds

>>67461515
Naw, it was pretty fucking boring until the last 10 mins

post something really funny

haven't laughed in ages

things i find funny: bollockposting and fat people

Business idea: open a frozen yogurt shop. Distribute flyers advertising poo flavoured frozen yogurt. This will spread on social media and may even make the news. Include a deal stating when you buy poo flavoured fro yo, you get any other flavour of equal size at 50% off

Watch the runts roll in

>>67461417
this didn't happen to you

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me on the right

>>67461420
This seems to be a popular question in Ireland.
Lucky for you, I know a video which promises to answer all your questions and is made BY the Irish FOR the Irish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGuJCl2OyaQ

saw a very short lad in public today and felt really sorry for him

got closer and realised he's basically my height (5'8)

>>67461391
how exactly is reincarnation meant to work? has everyone's spirit existed since the beginning and passed on through different lifeforms, or are new spirits being created all the time too or what

kind of want to ironically become a vegan

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>>67461399
nichijou, slapstick comedy style anime

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cooking up some ket

how have I only just realised there's two threads wtf

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tfw you see someone tall walking towards you on the street and you think "crikey he's tall" then you pass them and you're actually taller than them

>>67461635
looks like porridge

forgot to text my mum back from an hour ago

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>>67461397
white resistance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL1SZTYOSBo

>>67461143
RUNNING ON EMPTY

FOOD REVIEW

my dad is genuinely wayy smarter than than of your dads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQsBLiB90Hk

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What should I get from maccies for din dins

"creasing" is the worst variant of the "howling" gimmick and anyone who posts it from now on will get a very stern response from me

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>>67461699
>>67461677
>>67461666

>>67461733
fuck off reddit

>>67461729
my dad's dead

>>67461754
Mirthing

>>67461729
my dad drinks the liquid from the tuna can because "its just water"

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http://vocaroo.com/i/s1euzdQNhdUz

>>67461758
t. actual reddit

>>67461717
excellent reply

>>67461643
you get bennies provided you are looking for work and willing to work. it's 57 pounds spenidng money a week.

normally you're meant to go in once every 2 weeks, show them a booklet that details your job search/applications. if you aren't actively looking for work or you turn down jobs, you can lose that money.

they also might try to ship you off onto different experience schemes, and if you're unemployed for a long time they start making yourl ife difficult

my one has decreed that everyone between 18-24, regardless of how long they've been on benefits, has to come in for daily sessions "to assist us in getting jobs" even though literally nothing happens in the so called sessions. the reason being is that they want people to miss/come late to those sessions or to just give up, so don't have to pay those people.

picture of alan titchmarsh

>just had a shower
>wearing my comfy jammies
>smoking a nice Lambert and Butler cigarette while listening to some chilled music and reading /brit/
>gonna catch up on a few episodes of Drifters before bed
>listen to ASMR
>get up at 7am and get a comfy 40 minute bus ride to work

Gotta admit, the wagecuck life is quite nice. I like the order, having a sort of daily schedule + half decent sleeping pattern is quite nice desu.

All I need now is to work on my social skills and cure my social anxiety so I can get my first gf. Then i'll be living the good life - i'll forget all about depression and suicidal ideation when i'm living in a Barret new build with my future gf (who'll like anime and vidya).

Speaking of which, are dating sites good places to meet girls who have similar interests to you? How many girls aged 18 - 21 use those types of sites?

/blog

WTB (You) 40k

>>67461814
Normies are vile

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>>67460127
>>67460307

Haha Yank and British internet is appalling.

one of you lads get me a job innit

>>67461791
good lad

>>67461826
gfs are shit

t. someone who got the girl of his dreams and got severely bored of the normie life.

don't worry lads i'm here

can you grab a girls arse if she sits on your desk

>>67461729
won't matter when my dad caves your dads head in

Osama Bin Laden can kiss my Royal Irish ass

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he's here

>this parrot speaks better japanese than weebs

violently screaming

>Anon, want to smoke a zoot?
>Hang on, just let me get my RAW™ rolling tray, rolling machine, pre-rolled roaches and grinder

smfh lads

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>>67461775
had a chuckle at this post

>>67461814
post this again i missed it

want to see the poo

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Business idea: open a petrol station. Advertise by far the lowest prices in the city. When people fill up and then come to pay, tell them that the discounted price of petrol is a rebate so they pay full price and then have to fill out a rebate form. Tell them they cannot mail it in and that they have to personally drop it off. Put the rebate box at the top of a mountain. Anybody wishing to climb the mountain to drop off their rebate form must answer riddles. Keep asking riddles until they give up and go home.

Profit.

they're building fuck loads of new builds near where i work and everyone at work seems to live in one and i'm worried i'm gonna have to live in one because they'll be the only affordable thing around

somebody make them stop

>>67461930
Genuinely want the one on the right desu

>>67461944
ahh yes why would you live in a new house sounds awful

>>67461930
fatt

>>67461927
http://desu-usergeneratedcontent.xyz/int/image/1479/24/1479246895610.jpg

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having a good old think

Squatting over the bath atm lads, entire scrotum is underwater, gonna drop a radio in there and fry the old bollocks good

>>67461908
just get the cones and pack them

>>67461980
fuck knows

they've built an entire fucking artificial community of them with its own place names and shit and it's filled with actual runts

horrific place

>>67461985
grim

thanks mate

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irish weather

Can someone explain the so-called housing crisis?

Loads of 22 year olds are living in detached new builds, wheres the crisis?

>>67461993
>or will you perish like a dog

Mickey, what did you do to Goofy?

imagine living in a dead end town
working in an office doing data entry
shopping at morrisons
going home to eat itv eating birdeye chicken and potato smiles

how come most of the population is content with this

>>67462002
one day i hope one of these posts is real and they actually do it and post pics

would be a good day for /brit/

>>67462024
living in a new build is a crisis

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What are you up to lads?

watching peep show eating a kebab

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I'm a right-of-centre turbo-Rorke who holds White Nationalist and Islamaphobic beliefs

And I listen to rap music, smoke and take drugs with my many left-wing & ethnic friends, and have participated in premarital sex

Heh...

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>ywn live in a comfy North American suburb in the early 1990s
>ywn go skating at the weekend, smoking a few doobs and whiteying for the first time
>ywn come in from school and watch cartoons, eat meatloaf and play Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2
>ywn ask the girl you fancy to prom and kiss her before you both go off to different colleges
>ywn get your first car at 16 and finger her in the back seat, breaking your curfew and getting a bollocking from your mum but a pat on the back from your dad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5boNqPH9vv8

>>67462024
I make minimum wage and can't afford a 3 bed house in London

CRISIS

>>67462023
Global "Warming"

mind boggling that the yanks think russia can be their friends.

>>67462046
czechia

https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1479076628834.webm

>>67461980
they're deceptive
the rooms are smaller
the gardens are tiny
the garages are built into the houses
there's no front gardens
and they're always on these lifeless yank-tier streets/neighbourhoods

they're not any better than victorian/interwar/postwar housing

>>67462023
sun is out though...
hopefully it'll warm up a bit

>>67462045
on my 2nd tub of haagen-daas

going to wank if i don't fall asleep soon

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doggos

Mental how parrots can speak fluent languages and you can speak to them and ask them questions and stuff

>>67462050
Did all those

Wew, what am I like?

*picks up stapler*
*Examines closely*
>Ah yes, this should do the job
*Violently rams it into bollocks
>Ahhhhhhh yes, much better

>>67462026
oh shit
>>67462032
>eat itv
What did he mean by this?

>>67462073
sounds like my farts

>>67462073
Average New Zealand rugby player

>>67462094
watch tv

>>67462045
Listening to some Future Funk mix on t' 'Tube

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Good night, lads

>>67462101
who shits with such velocity that it goes onto their foot?

>>67462046
>I'm a right-of-centre turbo-Rorke who holds White Nationalist and Islamaphobic beliefs
>
>And I listen to rap music, smoke and take drugs with my many left-wing & ethnic friends, and have participated in premarital sex
>
>Heh...

The so-called Radical Centrist

>>67462046
strange because I don't recall asking

keep it to yourself in future JF

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>>67462081
Oh

My

God

I

Want

A

Doggo

>>67462024
renting isn't financially viable if you have 2 or more working class workers in your house

>>67461843
yeah now try it off-campus

>>67462045
ha ha me too minus the kebab

>>67462081
this is a nice video

>>67462101
The reason I don't go to night clubs is because I don't want to end up with a slaggy gf like that.

Where are all the nice girls?

I feel bad taking the skilled soldiers from the battlefield and murdering the ones that are left

>>67462161
Which episode?

*emerges from the depths of Hell*

right lads

>>67462166
right here x

*does the mannequin challenge*

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>>67462135
Have mine

One is hypoglycaemic, choose wisely

Reckon my bollocks can power a lamp lads? I reckon it can
*Hooks bollocks up to a plug*
FRRRRZHHHHHHHHSSHHHHH
>AHHHHHHHHH YES

>>67462166
Pub

>Doggo
reddit has infiltrated

>>67462166
At home in the same underwear they had on last week, watching anime and masturbating

>>67461940
I like the idea of the rebate, but having the mountain thing and riddles is stupid
after about the third person you would get shit reviews and no one would go to your petrol station
what you can do is over time be more and more harsh with how the form is filled out
like if they don't use their full name and don't get the exact age of their car right

>>67462135
go and adopt one then

>>67461729
my dad gets about 17 correct on University Challenge most weeks tbqh

Beat him once, was my finest hour looool

>>67462166
church

>>67462024
people can afford new builds thanks to help to buy which leaves them in a precarious position in context of economic change, both personal and macroeconomic.

and take up i low

construction industry still hammered

wages low

bulk of people in private rented sector building arrears, getting kicked out and moving on to do the same elsewhere until they end up homeless or sharing with relatives/friends

not enough social housing which is what they need unless all the other parts change dramatically.

>>67462166
>Where are all the nice girls?
at a convent

>>67462196
pubs have even worse slags
pub slags are the kind of slags who'll shag you in the car park

>>67462134
strange because I don't recall acknowledging your interests

*flips you a 50 crown coin*

buy yourself some deodorant

http://niggar.io

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Me and my doggo

>>67461729

tfw dad has a STEM PhD and multiple published papers and book chapters

i have a shitty humanities masters, embarrassing

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>>67462081
this is illegal in Europe

>>67462245
nonce

>>67462101
>he deleted it again
Wow, the Janny really doesn't like that picture
Let's all spam the thread with it

did janny delete the other /brit/?

wanted to hear from that lad about how much money jobcenter benefits gives out

>>67462214
kek try 40 and we'll talk

>>67462183
the one with the dead dog

*buys a nutribullet*
Yes yes, all these smoothies are very nice but...
*Perches bollocks into it*
How will it pass the ultimate test?

>>67461729
I dunno, my dad did get a scholarship to Imperial College and got a doctorate

i inherited £13m in assets from my landlord dad who died, AMA

>>67462239
nice picture mate.

>>67462258
he replied here, read the thread numbnuts

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Business idea: advertise televisons for $1. Enact a dress code stating anyone entering the shop must be wearing formal attire. Give them locations of tuxedo rentals to show you "care". Put these televisions in a seperate room. Build a dry wall infront of the door with a very small door people have to crawl through to get to the room with the televisions. Put a live alligator in the room with the televisions so nobody can get one.

In the mean time, get your friends to take the flyers with advertised 1 dollar televisions to Best buy. Best Buy has to price match, as is their policy.

Sell the televisions you bought from best buy at profit

>>67462273
How'd you kill him?

>>67462273
giz us £100, payday isn't for another week

>>67462238
Shan't be hovering the cursor over this one

>>67462273
proofs??

also are you craven


you could be the new craven

>>67462260
doubt.jpg

>>67462234
Yea, but they won't shat on their phone/themselves r-right?

>>67462235
what the FUCK is this?
*throws it at your eye*
*coin jams it's self into the back of your skull*
heh
nothing personal, kid

>>67462235
>flips you a 50 crown coin

don't want your shite monopoly money you irrelevant cunt

Lads, this parrot has a 5 minute conversation in English (0:38)

Really mental and surreal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y3VX8VU9kI

People who don't practice proper personal hygiene are swine and need to be wiped from the face of the earth

>>67462081
do dogs even feel the cold the way we do? it can the coldest day of the year and they'll be happily jumping into rivers and lakes and shit without hesitation and swimming around not a bother

>>67462276
cheers pal

>>67462273
£13 million in assets, £40 million in liabilities

Business idea: make it law that everyone uses the 24 hour clock; and make the 12 hour clock illegal

>>67462330
ask your mum

>>67462317
delete this please mate

>>67462235
50 crown?
What's that in GBP? Like 0.01 of a penny?

TOO comfy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sadOfmkTtpw

>>67460985
>>tfw had a really ideal job lined up in washington in america
>>tfw slightly fucked up the interview and then didn't take me on

alri hillary

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>>67462317
Everyone's a nigger here.

>>67462356
I lived in yankland as a wee lad and I always have trouble telling the time on a 24 hour clock

>>67462356
bit ableist

>>67462166
You don't get a gf from clubs you spastic

The nice girls are doing STEM

>>67462290
he had testicular cancer

>>67462291
no

>>67462297
who is craven? i dont frequent here

>>67462352
i am selling them next year. i dont want to be a landlord. it's just a few houses and flats in kent and surrey, not a flood zone or known for natural disasters

>>67462149
I'm at my apartment, in my living room.

>>67462379
LOLXD

>>67462370
like £1.50

If you think that's bad then you won't like Budapest

Lads this is fucking mental

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfsnHVaScjg

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GET A WIFE

STOP PLAYING VIDEOGAMES

>>67462414
No one believes but for some reason people will keep responding

Heres a question. Why wont you fuck off?

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Keep getting this advertised to me

>>67462387
I had to learn to use it for work but I'm used to it now, I even set my phone clock to 24 hr

>>67462443
it's a brit thread not a yank thread, fuck off yourself

>>67462400
i got a gf from the club

was a patrician low capacity 6am type club, not some dismal freshers club though.

>>67462238
shan't be sending an http request to that address

was singing along to DMX whilst driving through town today and a group of black lads gave me a really stern look

i laughed then sped off hehehe

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420 BRAISE IT

>>67462327
imagine keeping a toddler in a small cage for its entire life

Alri lads just inherited 200mill from granddad, you guys can get easy loans form me:1 small condition though. first u must send me £56 to prove you're not messing me about, then we can do buisness.

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>>67462438
Holy fuck I want a Raven

>>67462438
I once saw a guy walking around with a raven on his shoulder

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boob job

>>67462461
my phone, car and computer are all set to it, but it still takes me half a second to realise 22:00 is 10:00pm

>>67462438
that's so raven

>>67462457
hmmm.....
*wedges bollocks akimbo either side of the end piece*
*reaches for on switch*

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>tfw no commie slag gf w/ a good jaw

why even live lads?

>>67462463
Been to 6am clubs a few times and they were completely empty (and fucking grim)

>>67462489
wow

>>67462495
pump and dump

pretty hungry if im being desu with you

>>67462438
are you tricking me
what the fuck?

>>67462522
cause champagne communist twitter slags are useless runts who need to be shot in the back of the head

the oneitis got a tattoo on her ankle lads

NOT a good turn of events

glad the bollockbusting gimmick has come back
have to say it's one of my favourite gimmicks

Chronically depressed virgin on the verge of dropping out of uni

AMA

Hello. I am Paraguayan prince from coastal paraguyan, and I have to tell /brit/ they have inherited many acres of land from noble here. Only thing is you will need to send money for maintenance. Around £1000 should do it, to keep people employed etc, send by dawn fortnight

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>>67462554

>>67462489
funny story: in Iceland we have 300 words for expressing the feeling of not giving a fuck

>>67462543
Unbelievably brilliant post

>>67462524
in London?

Most here are busy until closing which can be 6am, 10am or 3pm for some tbqh.

>>67462327
I've heard a raven talk irl once
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfsnHVaScjg

>>67462571
cheers mate

eating Lays crisps lads

wish I had ketchup flavour, but they're just plain

struggling to get anyone to reply to any of my psots lads

not just on brit but also on other threads

can you please reply to this post so i know it isn't just a problem with my internet

I just inflicted severe testicular trauma upon myself

I just lost my last hope

>>67462551
>gimmick

I've actually been doing it...

I unironically want a gf with dyed hair, facial piercings and tattoos

They seem like they're the female version of abnormies

>>67462581
Don't reply to me

>>67462551
It hasn't come back. It was all me in response to someone saying it was his favourite gimmick earlier in the thread

>>67462583
>Lays
don't come to our thread just to start shit

think it must be your internet mate

>>67462611
alright

This one is just fucking terrifying

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhddrms05uI

i've found dog lads

>>67462581
>taking credit for my (you)
>doesn't even have the same flag

It was only 1/4th your (you) at best

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSIS0o7vtPE

choon lads

extremely odd how birds don't have lips or a proper mouth yet some can mimmick human speech

>>67462583
catsup*

*considers doing a v. good post*

nah, these runts wouldn't be able to fully appreciate it

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Rorke and Trump beat the fuck out

what should i bet on?

Why does my IP change like every 3 hours? I have to restart my router every time as my computer never connects to it

>>67462629
My boyfriend got me a promise puppy stuffed animal and we call him Dog Lad.

Thinking of making some tory mates so I can go round shooting birds in the country

>>67462583
Can't relate in the slightest

>>67462637
they should rename that band The Four Losers

>>67462661
gay

>>67462327
conversations are two-way mate

>>67462554

what course are you in

>>67462661
>boyfriend
bit gay

won't be sleeping tonight because of this>>67462624

>>67462414
>selling them

worst decision you could make, sell one or whatever to keep you comfy put keep them as a source of income as they'll naturally increase in value, making passive income like rent should basically be your main goal in life and you were just handed a silver platter

>>67462566
>In Iceland we
>we
You wish you were even remotely Icelandic, you sniveling swine

*checks out your gravel pit*

KATE BUSH - WUTHERING HEIGHTS

GUN FINGERS

>>67462583
scust

>>67462633
are we dividing (you)s between everyone in the thread chain now?

tfw i'm the principal producer and get nothing

>>67462676
Dentistry

>>67462654
>The wall is meant to keep everyone instead of just illegals out
>The classic white man blaming
ahhh yes

*squats closer to heater*
*Sweat drips off brow as orange glow illuminates my focused face*
*Bollocks touches the searing hot metal of the heater*
>AHHHHHH YES

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https://youtu.be/-ZyBNWVD70w

I'M TERRY HAHAHAHA

>>67462554

been there done that, still a virgin, not as depressed anymore.

got called a dickhead in the comments on a kate bush video

SECTION BOYZ - LET'S LURK

SLOW WALTZ

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Heard Emma Watson got the title role in the Beauty and the Beast lads.

I wonder who's playing the Beauty haha.

>>67462654
sounds like a great place tbqh

>>67462661
Would smash your weak little jaw in if I even heard your little poofy breath within 5 feet from me

bent cunt

was walking past the butchers and they had fucking birds hanging outside

what the fuck like actual dead birds with the feathers and shit just hanging out in the road

one nearly touched my head ffs

>>67462708

keep at it and move to the states when you're done.

dentists are rich as fuck down there

>>67462475
hope the dad didnt give them those that would be weird haha

My shit is butter for the bread they wanna toast me

Does anyone actually like university? All my friends here hate it as much as I do. Not sure what the point is desu.

>>67462771
don't worry soon it will be you kaffirs

>>67462788
get a degree

Gimmick idea for the new thread only: Do not quote any posts whatsoever, go for the entire thread only typing as if you've already quoted someone

What should I buy lads

5 xanax bars or a 25mg 2cb?

>>67462775
my dentist is from the US

>>67462708
Why would you drop out of life is easy: the degree

Runt

Making some 'chos lads

>>67462730
They should have these at zoos

>>67462788
I do. I only hate undergraduates.

t. uni lecturer

https://youtu.be/iUQjXUsgZ5E

absolute stomper coming through

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>>67462718
>implying white men can tell the difference

>>67462803
but what's the actual point

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>Would smash your weak little jaw in if I even heard your little poofy breath within 5 feet from me

>bent cunt

>>67462746
laughed at this

>>67462672
Mean

Sorry lads, bollocks posting is unsustainable due to the abysmal yield of (you)'s. You cannot expect me to create such high quality content for so little reward, it's unacceptable.

>>67462081
imagine the smell, lads

>>67462788
I had a lot of fun and met some nice people I still see now
although I hated my actual degree and now have a job in the same field so the actual learning aspect was a total fuck up on my part

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>>67462852
someone make that ukelele an AK47

>>67462818
xans

>>67462921
on it

>>67462822

dentistry has the highest suicide rate of any profession IIRC

>>67462918
>hated my actual degree and now have a job in the same field
so how was it a fuck up?

>>67462921
>bottom pic
FC2?

Brilliant idea lad I'll get right on it


(((dentists)))

>>67462958
air traffic controller

>>67462958
t. that episode of seinfeld

>>67462788

the stress of it is absolutely insane

I'm trying to get into grad school but I'm not even sure I could handle more school after this.

it's all so fucked