/brit/

*chokeslams you*

>>67458646
10/10 honkers

Look at those knockers

>>67458646
>Chile
Post boipucci

repeal and replace obamacare

>>67458646

She could pass for Alabama.

The state. kek.

hold tight the square

>>67458599
You into anal properly then? How long you been going for..

that's not a brit that's a scouser

>>67458686
you're gonna get used to it

erm

>>67458646

Liverpool will win the title this year tbqh

Kloppo is the best manager by far in the prem, poop has been exposed and we already beat Cunte away

>>67458646

SHE IS STEALING BASKETBALLS

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>>67458707
>>67458694

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the middle eastern ting

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So I bought a few books because I wanna start reading. Used to read occasionally but that was years ago.

Got LOTR because I love the movies, Dune caught my eye as I had heard a quote from it a few times...and the other book was just random.

I didn't have a clue what I was looking for.

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>>67458646
>TFW Liverpool fan
>TFW that was my favourite jersey for a while

Need a high school gf who i can manipulate

running a bath lads, need some comfy tv to watch whilst soaking

>>67458709
the STATE of alabama

>>67458755
Yeah, how about that

*walks away and talks to someone more interesting*

>>67458759
paedophile scum

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Pakis at the shop fucked up my order

>>67458752
shes' not middle eastern

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>>67458646

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>>67458755

Read everything on this list except bottoms dream which is a meme

>>67458752
imagine her screaming

>got a thing about taking a bath/shower at the same time everynight
>usually pretty early at 5-6pm
>feel weird when I don't shower at the right time

>>67458755
Fuck off reddit twat

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>>67458759
Hey Scott.

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Boris Johnson is a complete charlatan.

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been awake since 6pm yesterday, still can't get to sleep because i feel so fucking anxious i can't deal with this lads, everything's a mess

>reading fiction

disgusting

>>67458802
shouldn't be giving pakis money in the first place.

>>67458846
rorke

>>67458817
is that Liverpool

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Right, I'm getting myself a kebab now, what else should I get lads? It's from abrekebabra

>>67458842
what happened

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>>67458746
i for one would like to see millions more female miners and sewage workers
>>67458809
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_East
>>67458818
in pleasure right?

>>67458802
Shouldn't go to a place where Pakis make Mexican food la

I used to work in an indian takeaway as the token whiteboi

ask me anything

>>67458646
there's an absolutely tidy chinese restaurant on the other side of the road from there

>>67458814
Thanks!

>>67458823
>reading
>reddit

very good, son

>>67458880
how do planes work?

>>67458869
yeah but she's clearly white
you're not suggesting her race is determined by where she was born are you? preposterous notion

>>67458736
dunno, they look good but i don't think they're ready just yet

it's like tottenham last season, they look good but they're not ready to actually properly challenge

i reckon it'll be chelsea or city. arsenal and liverpool in with a shout too

gonna be a tight season at the top

>>67458901
>anouncing reports
not gonna say i reported you, but you know...

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doing a draw x

>>67458755
This is such a fucking shit list for getting into reading Jesus Christ.

>>67458867
Based Chili Cheese Fries.

>>67458646
good edition

>>67458811
good post

>>67458646
I heard Liverpool is like Catalonia in England.
Is that true? Which region is memed most of the time for being so different?

>>67458752
Still could cuck her bf.

>>67458880
what is a planet

>>67458967
catalonia is like scotland you crazy nip

>>67458755
read beaver towers mate

>>67458797
>16/17
>underage

Fucking yanks. Cant even legally touch a pint glass until they're 21

Eveyones a massive manchild

>>67458929
Is it a trap?

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gf just faxed me this

>>67458992
>beaver towers
Isn't that a kids book?

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>>67458923
>you're not suggesting her race is determined by where she was born are you?
i said middle eastern
not arab
>>67458880
did you ever see the rest of the staff washing their hands

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doing a post

>>67458967
London

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>Shitterton

ahahahahahaha

>>67458755
Check out The Way of Kings by Sanderson if you wanna get into Epic Fantasy

having a bath lolling at how much clean potable water im sweating in right now

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wew

>>67459014

your gf is an annoying cunt who needs to shave her fanny

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ah yes

>>67458868
sleeping pattern is fucked and broke up with gf 3 weeks ago, just seen a photo of her with a 'friend' who likes her, but she claimed she didn't have feelings for

>>67458910

If you want somewhere to start, here's some entry level books from the chart:

Ficciones
The Stranger
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Siddhartha
Nineteen Eighty Four
The Metamorphosis (Kafka)
Notes From Underground
Catch 22
The Crying of Lot 49
The Catcher in the Rye
Brave New World
Slaughterhouse Five
The Grapes of Wrath
The Great Gatsby

>>67459018
yes and its a masterpiece

>>67458989
where is the rorke nationalists in the UK like the basques of spain?

im gonna say clacton but i don't know if that's why they vote carswell . suspet it's just because he used to be their tory

>>67459056
you need to die m8

>>67459009
Fucking leafs, thinking they aren't just yanks by extension

>>67458989
Are you that tribe eating mouse in the council house according to park ji sung chant?

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How'd they get so much ice through a tiny opening?

>>67458920
lots of speed and stuff

>>67458979
a big rock

>>67459022
>did you ever see the rest of the staff washing their hands
yes

the only guys that don't are the delivery guys

WORK

TOMORROW

JUST

FUCK

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>>67459038
>wasting water

after browsing /pol/ for a bit I think the average IQ over there is about 87

>>67459101
yeah, same

>>67459040
turn this upside and you have a real waifu

>>67459058
updating windows security essentials definitions right now, taking for fucking ever

x

>>67459058
>has never updated

Lad you literally have a shit ton of exploits and backdoors in your Windows now

If anyone wanted your card info they could just pull it up now

>tfw walking around at 2am on a night out with the lads singing "the white man marches on" song at the top of our lungs while drunk as fuck

I'm surprised some paki or cultural Marxist didn't attack us desu

>>67459101

ikr, wish someone would do me in

swing down sweet chariot stop and let me ride

>>67458910
>>67459067
The Great Gatsby is a good one to start on, it's only like 120 pages long

>>67459022
are there any pics where she resembles a human?

>>67459136
at least you survived today

>>67459156
wish i had woke friends

musclefood order arrived today lads

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>Ywn be on the civil service fast stream
>Ywn become a mid ranking diplomat at a medium sized embassy after your first ten years and get 100k, able to mortgage one of those nice houses in London with the black and white chequered floors.

>>67459118
injected by syringe

>>67459156
rorke

>>67459156
wish I had mates like you

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on the bus

>>67459156
you lot sound like the biggest quegs going

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>>67459178
You make it sound as if it were a good thing

>have to be 21 years old to enjoy a beer at a pub

HOWLING

People should not be allowed to post on multiple boards in the same month tbqh.

tfw no estonian bf

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>>67459212
lmao

>>67459208
ya se me paró

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>>67458646
THICC

>>67459118
it's easiest to melt the plastic and morph it round the ice while it's in a molten state

>>67459208
Disgusting.

This would never be allowed under sharia.

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>>67459176
yes

>>67459220

Isn't the age in Canada fucking 19? Fuck off leaf

remember when the word meme wasn't used on the BBC news?

simpler times

>watching The Brothers Grimsby
>chavs: the movie

Are they really just the trailer trash of the UK? Or is that pikeys or both?

>>67459193

sounds a bit dull desu

>>67459220
quite prefer the yank system 2bh. drink in pubs and clubs is sad. would much rather get wasted at a house party or kegger while I'm young enough

>>67459265
would fucking split her in half

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slags

>>67459286
Just because it's 18s doesm't mean you have to go you twat

>>67459297
3, 4 , 1, 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poz6W0znOfk

>>67459266
Depends on the province

18 in quebec, alberta, and manitoba

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>Helium tank arrives tomorrow

lovely

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>>67459222

>>67459287
That's murder lad

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>>67459287
pains me that i probably never will
oh well enough of the anzuposting

what are the rules now?
are we not allowed to post a pic of a girl lifting her skirt?

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>wanna play a racing game
>get recommended some good ones
>buy one
>have to pay 20 million DLC packages
>have to pay if I want to drive other cars/favourite cars

WHY?

>>67459193
why cant you join fast stream m8? whats stopping you?

>>67459297
Can't choose desu they're all good

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>>67459325
dont do it mate

>>67459297
1432

>>67459286
>would much rather get wasted at a house party or kegger while I'm young enough

Now you're learning boyo.

Most of my friends parents bought us our beer when we were 17-18, so long as we handed them our keys we were allowed to drink all night in the backyard by the pool.

>SPOOAIN
What a shit celebration

>he thinks drumpf will make it to january 20th

>>67459343
she is cuuuuute

Have not cooked in almost a year lads. The gf cooks all my meals now. I'm barely allowed in my own kitchen haha.

Is this how being married feels like?

>>67459265
ruined

would still destroy her little cunt though

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VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY VARDY

>>67459286
>would much rather get wasted at a house party

you weren't doing that at like 14?

>>67459325
Are you a balloon artist?

terrified of aging 2bh

>>67459362
we were buying beer ourselves at 15

that was 15 years ago tbf though, don't think they're so lenient these days

>>67459385
nah its how being a manchild feels like

imagine how tight anzu is

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neets will rule the world

>shave
>miss 162 posts

ffs

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>>67459354
I keep failing.

But these trips I got confirm one day I might make it

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Aren't you happy the Muhammad Ali of the 21st century is white?

Aging here

Just scared some paddy twat

>>67459362
>drinking by the pool
Thats dangerous m8

>>67459325
gonna do a squeaky voice eh lad haha

do a vocaroo for us when it arrives

it could be your very own gimmick, I would wait all day for Squeaky Steven to make a post so I could give him a (You)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7t3wwZ3xRg

me on the scooter

>>67459419
You can buy here at just about any age, depending where you are and which store you go to. We used to go to the Somalian and Paki shops and so long as nobody else was in the store or outside, we got our beer.

>>67459430
yeah course she is mate

business idea: people who have made lots of money retire early to give the rest of us jobs

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BIG KEV

WHERE ARE YOU?

>>67459446
nah

>>67459478
KILL ALL THE OLDIES

GREYHAIRS BE DAMNED

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwWynjl-VWc

Jpop sounds a lot like eurobeat

>>67459446
i was thinking about applying to it after this year, what makes it so difficult?

>>67459430
reckon she's got a growler?

>>67459456
That's the point. Plus sluts love pools.

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>>67459448

>>67459448
ecstatic

>>67459400
enjoy your ill health, diminish life chances, premature death and terrible ageing

the yanks have it on this one. People are still physically developing until 25

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ah yes, scottish people

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IM A BRIT GRIL

NOTICE ME

>>67459514
E tray lad.

They give you a ridiculous scenario that requires a shit load of reading and answering loads of questions making split second decisions.

I say this as somebody who reads loads too, it's a real ball breaker.

business idea: rename the working class to the runt class

>>67459448
I thought he was irish

>>67459430
post pic

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a girl almost looked at me today

lool vardy did the mannequin challenge to celebrate the goal

that girl is a real crowd pleaser

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yz1Pd43qvUs

cannot even imagine her having sex

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gf said the pub quiz is normally over by 12 and why can't I just drive there

fuck's sake I can NOT go to bed after 10.00 on weeknights does she not realise this????

Y = Q*B+R

Y - # of (You)s
Q - Quality of post
B - Bait factor
R - Relatability

>>67459531
Back in the 70's the law was 18. The idea was that if they lowered the age, more kids would choose alcohol over drugs. All it did was make it easier for them to do both.

Can't have everything I guess...

>>67459540
cannae stop laffin

ah yes, the mannequin challenge
*surreptitiously opens google*

i'm feelin sexual so we should be sexual

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>>67459540
>ywn stir last night's haggis
why even live?

>>67459613
Ok
Post willy

>>67459624
er fuck off?? it's a song

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>>67459582
a girl smiled at me once and i pretended like i didn't see her

>>67459598
>All it did was make it easier for them to do both.
lel

Based humans

got a merit in my masters degree lads distinction in the dissertation

p happy

>>67459635
Ok
Post willy

>>67459643
>Based humans
reddit more

>>67459582
today was mental, got sucked off from some girl at a bus stop, her friend told me she offered to suck some guy off for clocking a hobo but he just mumbled incoherently

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Me: I just bought this
You: What's that?
Me: It's a pan, duh!

>>67459611
Not as good as the cheek retractor challenge
Got a few good wanks out of that

>>67459666
>666
Going str8 on r/creepy

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wow.... Is this real??

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>>67459647
You are ready for the PHDick

pondering what its like to shag a bird

>>67459721
quite good

Currently shagging some runts gf at the pub, she's texting him while giggling saying "I shouldn't be doing this" and "you're much bigger than him"

>>67459712
very real

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>>67459686
Brits are on a good one today

The new pint glass should be arriving today

How do I avoid having it get nicked at a house party?

>>67459715
tempted 2 do one 2bh (my masters was a prestigious uni (say no more))

gonna give studying a break tho for a year or 2

>>67459613
Hold me cause baby I'm yours, I can't wait until we get home

haha just a song m8

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>>67459540
Absolutely MOOING at this post

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alri lads

need a bf

>>67459721
it's alright I suppose

>>67459747
>bringing glassware to a house party
Dude... red cups

>>67459747
write your name on it

>>67459686
Somebody call central casting, we got us a live one here!

>>67459761
looks like fucking jimmy neutron

>>67459765
u gay?

>>67459758
you are, you are, you are, you are, you are
everything that i dreamed of, now we can paint a picture

>>67459747
padlock it

gf won't have sex with me

because i struggled to maintain an erection after foreplay every time we tried to have sex

bit miffed to say the last

should be in bed rn

>>67459759
how does it feel wasting half your monthly internet allowance on uploading a picture of a cow?

>>67459747
Buy a pint belt so you can hang it from your hip

>>67459808
want me to give her a shagging for you?

>>67459798
nah I'm ok thanks

>>67459811
same

well i am in bed
but like in bed bed

>>67459816
Guarantee my internet is better than yours in both download, upload + it is unlimited data on both.

>>67459850
Do you have your jammies on?

>>67459797
yeah why?

dancing so hard to this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaBTuB-Nqpo

>>67459879
my jammies are my boxers so yes
but i also have the rest of my clothes on too

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scandinavian_York

wearing a onesie

did a wrestling move on my dog and he broke his back

had to put him down so i put him in a headlock and bob marley'd out the window onto the plant bed and put the cunt to sleep

>>67459843
maybe :(
don't want her to be unsatisfied

>Gf comes on her period after lots of unprotected sex

thank christ

how did the democrats lost the election despite learning how to do a targeted meme campaign for obarmar

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>>67459193
>Tfw I'm in the civil service and I'm 22 and I will certainly be on 100k within the next ten years and the work is very cool because security but I'm gonna chuck it in for the private sector because progression is too slow

>>67459910
Has it got a flap in the back?

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>>67459939
>misses her period
>has black child

what do?

If you've got a gf you need to fuck right off

>>67459961
>>67459193
What in the world is the civil service? Do I need any qualifications?

>>67459957
They counted all the black votes from 2012 to Clinton when they have a terrible turnout when there's not a nigger running.

>>67459992
Normie general you fuck off

>>67459961
You're going to struggle to make 100k at 32 without the fast stream, aspiring leaders and a fuckload of luck

the gf dropped me off at work

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37984479

Lazy gobshite prison officers BTFO

>>67460027
is there a difference between fast stream and regular civil service recruitment? i though fast stream was just their recruitment portal

Remember when everyone had a song as their ring tone? Now its just generic tones.

Earn £37k a year and struggle to pay the leccy

cant barely afford the shopping each week

fuck sake lads

>civil service
simpletons

>this lad going on about the fucking fast stream again

>>67459586
madman

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>>67459878
post it then lad

I promise I will never slag off australians on the internet again if it's better

>>67460080
love some regression

>Nicked - to steal

>Nicker - someone who steals

Ah yes, sounds very close to another very bad word

Rorkes

>>67460066
Fast Stream is the civil service graduate scheme. It's designed to bring you in as an HEO and spit you out 3-4 years later as a Grade 7.

https://www.civilservicejobs.service.gov.uk/csr/index.cgi

This is the normal recruitment site.

>>67460080
00:55 was my ring tone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHozn0YXAeE

quick mug of 'mile and im off to the snoozeatorium

>>67460080
Mines permanently on vibrate or silent desu

>>67460065
they shud b the 1s behind bars tbhh1!!

>>67460066
as the name implies, fast stream gets you to a higher level (manager equivalent) quickly

Why would one actually have a job?

>>67459968

sadly no

when i'm home i tend to get naked as i poo so it all works out i guess

>>67460167
self-respect

>>67460145
what is HEO

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>>67460080
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mXtXDVrEYI


bass definitely did not sound as good coming out of my Motorola Razr speakers

>>67460027
I'm already on 40k and they want to send me on two 3 year overseas posts by the time I'm 30 (in my long term objectives)

I don't even have A levels

>>67459961
You're memeing hard if you think you're gonna get 100k at 32 without the fast stream

Also

>Thinks he can get on 100k by 32
>Says progression is too slow

>>67460167
to contribute to the fabric of society

What the FUCK is the civil service and how do I make 100k

>>67460193
don't need that

>>67459977
move us all to the US to be with like-minded families

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rate my new shoes lads

would rather snuggle up in bed, put the wooly socks on and read a book than watch anything on netflix

maybe I was just born in the wrong generation

>>67460237
>What the FUCK is the civil service

was it not on your citizenship test rasheed?

>>67460195
Higher Education Opportunity.
I may be wrong.

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/many-residents-unaware-how-hs2-12181698

nimby twats need to fuck off Tbh

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>>67460122
lol

>>67460253
4/10

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Can't handle the cringe in peep show sometimes

>>67460258
Answer me Zaqib

>>67460237
be good at tick box exercises and sucking off managers because that's all the civil service is

BIG fan of scenes with multiple creampies

in the slow stream lads

haha

>>67460230
hmmmmm. but how will the fabric of society react to me having a job as opposed to me not having a job?

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>>67460127
Nice try, kid

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what job does a civil servant actually """"do""""" ?

do you have to do a humanities to become one or is STEM good too?

>>67460145
>It's designed to bring you in as an HEO

To clarify, when I say HEO, I mean a sort of sub-human HEO variant that everyone hates because you're ony going to be there for 6 months before your next placement and you probably only talk to other fast streamers as a result.

>>67460227
100k is SCS PB2 range. You really think you're going to get there by 32?

Business idea: copy everything about Starbucks but put "dumb" infront of it. Dumb Starbucks. Dumb Venti. Dumb Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Claim that it is a parody of starbucks to avoid being sued for copyright infringement

>>67460253
3/10

>>67460167

to get money so I can spend it all at the weekends down grimsby arcade

>>67460244
no one needs you

>>67460276
Certainly hope that thing has a penis desu

>>67460291
bit gay

>>67460295
fuck off 15 year old

>>67460237
Is this a joke or do you actually not know what the civil service is?

>>67460310
DEPENDS ON THE FUCKING DEPARTMENT DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH NOW FUCK OFF

massive fan of scenes where the girl rubs the guy's cock on her soles
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph567423b73e04c

>>67460329
yes, but same when i would have a job since they could just hire some other runt

>>67460312
Already been done and you know it

>There are people that you pass you in the street, people in this very thread, that do not appreciate the greatness of tinned sardines and/or mackerel

Boggles the mind.

>>67460310
any degree is fine apart from the more specific roles, you can work in different areas.

>>67460259
higher executive officer

fast stream looks a lot more advanced than a graduate scheme. most graduate schemes are completely shite

>>67460311
>100k is SCS PB2 range. You really think you're going to get there by 32?

No, I'm not in the civil service though. Why do you think you'll get there by 32?

tfw got a wicked degree from a good uni

but can't get a job for the life of me

>>67460339
I know its to do with the government but that's it

Everything online is vague and awful

I have a feeling its just shitty bureaucratic nonsense

>>67460080
mine is just some shitty generic rock intro with some guy screaming 'Yeeeaaah!!' that plays for about 3 seconds before abruptly playing again until I pick it up

horrendous but idgaf

>>67460392
maybe you can get a job as a poet x

>>67460386
My bad, was aiming for the guy claiming he actually will be on 100k by 32

>>67460376
used to eat 2 tins of sardines daily first tihng in the morning

eventually became allergic to them somehow.

love a good bit of smoked mackarel though. Lidl smashes it they're only 99p there

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>>67460307
Even my mobile is faster

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>67460307
>fast internet
>never use it for anything
>download the odd film and game

when i get back home
i can't go to bed

i've got that techno stuck in my head

>>67460227
See
>>67460225

I'm in the "civil service"

I'm leaving if I can't get onto the internal fast stream at my office, because I've already been offered an 82k job with BCG

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no words.

Another 50 minutes of this bullshit

>>67460293
I'm on the riverbank myself haha

ha

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>google civil service fast stream
>this is their main advert


hmmmmm no thanks

>>67460395
You're taking the piss lad?

The Civil Service is what runs government.

It covers everything from people working in the courts, to HMRC, to embassies, to policy makers, to administrators, to implementing laws, to trade missions.

It's literally anything that the government does.

>>67460419
prefer to be an economist like

Pals, is 'normal in Norfolk' a Brit meme? What are the cultural origins of this? Heard it from London guys (probably they couldn't make jokes about slavs while I was there).

>>67458646
Oh gee, Maisie sure has gotten a bit heavier since the last Game of Thrones season, hasn't she?

Instead of going LE R U FUCKING DUMB can you actually explain what the Civil Service is to me

LE R U FUCKING DUMB

call me rasheed quick

>>67460455
giz a job mate

>>67460494
fuck off retard

>tfw radical centrist

>>67460469
bet it's still all white bois who get hired


based realist senior civil servants

>>67460511
rorke