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/brit/

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Thread replies: 331
Thread images: 70

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQbm514cKkg

South Africa edition
>>
1st for banter and slags
>>
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yanks in
>>
now then cocka
>>
v. dissappointed in your link OP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZjwCmJrnlY
>>
hey guys
>>
>>67449386
hey one of the few countries we haven't invaded
>>
>>67449407
""country""
>>
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>tfw spent 600 quid on fucking tools today

Why are they so expensive
>>
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>>67449407
Ah, I see you are a gentlesir with taste who browses Reddit, like myself. *tip*
>>
>>67449407
and now look at the state of you hahahahh

oh how the mighty have fallen
>>
>>67449386
tell me about luxembourg
>>
>apprenticeships
screeching
>>
>>67449431
>quid
>>
>>67449407
t. paki

>>67449456
no
>>
>>67449431
Spend a few bob on a massive tool a while back myself
Which reminds me, tell your mum I want my boxers back
>>
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*megs you*
*does a dragback just as you lunge in rashly with a revenge tackle*
>>
>>67449458
this is a working class general
>>
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what's the difference between quid, pound, pence, and euro?
>>
Ordered a garlic butter stuffed crust from Hut lads

I am weak
>>
*leaves the EU*
Quite lovely out here. Haha alri Norway haha
>>
>>67449530
quid = pound
pence = 1/100 pound
euro = shit
>>
>>67449484
alright then fuck off you daft little cunt
>>
>>67449492
>third team for five straight years
>80 year old part time PE sub couldn't be fucked to actually teach anything, actual teachers were too busy focusing on first and second teams
>every PE lesson in the winter was just banter and a kickabout with my mates without any oversight or supervision

Top stuff.
>>
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>trouble with that is, people stop thinking they're jokes because they make too much sense
>>
>>67449556
so when someone says they paid "70p" for something they mean 70 cents?
>>
>>67449570
>third team

the fucking state of you mate
>>
>>67449591
They mean 70 pence
>>
>>67449591
no, they mean 70 pence
>>
>>67449381
wanted this one to be educational init
>>
>>67449530
Pound sterling is the currency, often just called the pound. Quid is the slang name, much the same as buck is to dollar. Pence is the decimal subdivision, one hundred pence to the pound. Euros are for benders.
>>
>>67449591
70p is £0.70 or $0.87
>>
>>67449551
>Norway
absolute joke
>>
want to do a willy-inside-girl
*surreptitiously opens contact list*
>>
What a shit general "lads".

Highly dissapointed
>>
Why is doggystyle with a girl so hot? I cum in like 2 minutes from it
>>
>>67449530
quid = ancient Latin word
pound = what I do to sissy brit bois
pence = Mike "Christian Sharia" Pence
euro = alternative spelling of "yuro"
>>
Who /theChase/ here?
>>
>people who can't accept they're wrong

Is there anything more annoying?
>>
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>so when someone says they paid "70p" for something they mean 70 cents?
>>
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>>67449669
>>
>>67449670
Except I'm clearly not wrong am I? Twat
>>
really made me think
>>
>>67449700
*shows you evidence that you're wrong*
>>
>>67449708
stupid americans
>>
>>67449670
there's some biological brain whatever thing some top science lads figured out that basically means when you tell someone they're wrong it just makes them think they're even more right for having been persecuted

explains a lot
>>
>>67449717
*continues to claim the Holocaust happened*
>>
>>67449708
That 2-year-old sounds pretty smart
>>
>>67449652
bit rude
>>
>>67449708
legitimately love these ngl
>>
>>67449722
If you try and show them how they're wrong or argue you can never win and they will never fucking accept they're wrong.
>>
can't remember if i took my long acting insulin
>>
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>>67449708
Is there still that twitter account that just collated obviously bullshit tweets about conversations with children?

I think they ended up in some controversy 'cause being featured resulted in tonnes of abuse
>>
>my dentist today was a girl in my year at school

Fucking weird.

She's Indian and not qt though.
>>
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>>67449744
>>
>>67449764
I'll give you my long acting insulin...

if you know what I mean
>>
>>67449775
legitimately got a half-chub after reading this post

top stuff!
>>
juhnahamean?
>>
>>67449722
>>67449761
/pol/ in a nutshell
>>
hate this depression shite
>>
>>67449775
Feel sad now
>>
>>67449708
why do they gain lying like from this? really causes one to ponder
>>
>>67449839
*emptiness intensifies*
>>
>>67449846
attention

does a runty cunty little mong need any other reason to act?
>>
>>67449827
I'm sorry
>>
back from work lads.

what have i missed today? any news? any new gimmicks?
>>
>>67449839
>Depression

sick of seeing this from you sad twats. Just go travelling, make music, go to festivals, go to clubs, hangout with your friends, find a gf, start working out

All such easy ways to get over your depression
>>
>>67449823
>people in my year/my friends are all doing work or studying in far-off places and being adults and shit now
except for the girl who was arrested for diddling a kid

kinda makes you think
>>
>>67449839
*tumbles inwardly for hours on end each and every night trying to figure out where everything went so wrong and why nobody seems to care enough to help despite my obvious pain and suffering*
>>
>>67449823
My dentist is a divorced 50 year old greek guy going through a very insane midlife crisis
>>
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>>67449885
trump is president
>>
>>67449903
>girl who was arrested for diddling a kid

Explain
>>
>>67449826
i don't aye
>>67449839
same
>>
>>67449923
who?
>>
>>67449929
my penis and/or cum
>>
>>67449923
president elect*
>>
>>67449900
lol this netted you a lot of (You)s last night. well i think it was you.
>>
>>67449903
>except for the girl who was arrested for diddling a kid
was she hot?
>>
just found out i was most likely fiddled with as a child, lads

what do i do with this information?
>>
>>67449939
my penis and/or cum
>>
>>67449922
I am Greek
>>
>>67449972
wank
>>
Ate a steak with a butter knife because they dont allow knives on campus
>>
>>67449900
bait
>>
Controversial opinion: worshipping Jesus instead of God is heretical
>>
>>67449972
man or woman? if woman tell me everything spare no details
>>
>>67449972
How did you find out?

Get the diddler done mate
>>
>>67450012
Jesus is God
>>
>>67449972
suppress it lad.
>>
>>67449972
how do you not remember?
>>
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>>67450044
god is a delusion held only by the weak minded
>>
>>67450044
EXTREMELY heretical
>>
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Why is the internet on my ps4 so slow, I get 20mb/s on my pc but it's fucking 5 on the ps4
>>
>>67450095
I laughed then felt bad

RIP FOYs
>>
>>67450108
>Protestant calling anyone a heretic
>>
>>67450095
bit boring for a catholic headstone
>>
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>>67450097
>mfw my life is so much better since I started believing in God
>>
>>67450113
ps4s are shit and can't download things fast
>>
>>67449972
tell the police, write it on facebook and share it
>>
>>67449972
if it felt good, you can't really do anything about it, but if it didn't then you can tell the police
>>
>>67449927
http://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/prisoner-incited-derbyshire-woman-to-have-sex-with-boy-while-on-remand-for-murder/story-29697910-detail/story.html
the "19 year old woman"
let off though apparently
>>67449969
no
>>
>>67450095
>FOY O'Donnell
king of dogshite
>>
>>67450113
Is one wired and the other wireless? Or are both wireless, with one significantly further away from the router?
>>
when you test a pill what happens if it's cut with something
>>
>>67450266
prefer not to say
>>
>>67450200
that's horrible then
>>
>>67450200
>diddle child
>be free to go
Really makes you think.
>>
>>67450266
man up and take it anyway
>>
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Absolutely craving a takeaway but I have no money hahaha.
>>
just did a cold water extraction lads AMA
>>
if history went differently the orange order would be called the norange order haha
>>
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:(((((((
>>
>>67450246
Both wireless, same distance from the router
>>
>>67450360
how are you
>>
>>67450427
oh give over
>>
>>67450360
how do planes work?
>>
>>67450427
fucking hate kids who write to famous people
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>>67450338
no i mean how do you figure out if a pill is cut with sth?
>>
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>>67450307
>>67450326
indeed
http://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/story-29869122-detail/story.html
>The judge said that, although he thought it was likely the sexual activity had taken place, he could not be satisfied to the criminal standard
that killer bloke also looks like james murphy if he couldn't grow a beard
>>
>>67450113
ps4 has a shit wireless chip

the only way to get good internet is ethernet
>>
>>67450471
he's a hairy mother fucker jfc
>>
you know who hated kids? saville
>>
>>67450427
hahaha howling at this

fucking liberals
>>
Anime makes me feel depressed
I hate how the main character is always a shy loner, but always ends up getting a qt gf.
The real world doesn't work that way and it upsets me.
>>
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>>67450474
Fucking japs, it's taking me an hour tow download a 2 gb update
>>
>>67450467
you die
>>
Got called a spacker in toronto endz mandem
>>
Having some brain swelling
>>
>>67450528
It happened to me once, I'm not even joking. it's a miracle I'm not a virgin
>>
>>67450502
pretty sure he was quite fond of them
>>
>>67450427
>did not go further than a single statement in a letter she was supposed to have spent any time on
this election keeps on giving
>>
>>67450538
ethernet cables are cheap
just use one
>>
>>67450471
>ywn have so much testosterone that your beard and chest hair fuse together
>>
>First album I ever bought was Marilyn Manson when I was old enough to go into Manchester on the tram with my mates

Howling at how edgy I used to be
>>
http://www.strawpoll.me/11658324

http://www.strawpoll.me/11658324

http://www.strawpoll.me/11658324
>>
>>67450596
Not really an option the modem is plugged in downstairs, don't really want a cable running up the stairs
>>
>>67450615
mine does a little bit
>>
is it

>pap-rika

or

papri-ka

?
>>
>>67450528
Escapism lad.
>>
>>67450576
How did it happen? How old are you?
I need a gf to save me from my self hatred and give me confidence
>>
>>67450633
just feed it through the wall?
>>
>>67450644
neither, it's paprika
>>
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You will never EVER go to space
>>
>>67450644
that anime sucks anyway desu
>>
>>67450633
powerline adapter
>>
How do you get the pictures onto the compoodah?

It's called a USB line - i'll show you later
>>
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>>67450576
>>
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>>67450661
I was lying in bed one day depressed so I decided to head up to an old friends house from primary school (I was 17 at the time 21 now) when I got there he asked if I wanted to go out and hang out with his friends so I did and that's where I met her. I was a complete, awkward spastic to her but she didn't seem to care. She was very obvious that she liked me, never made the first move but she would kind of guide me to do it.
>>
>>67450835
normie filth get out reeeee
>>
>>67450835
are you the same paddy that had a dream his gf died in childbirth?
>>
>>67450835
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>
>>67450828
did a chuckle at this
>>
>>67450835
Heart warming
>>
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>you will never commit murder suicide with your Russian at gf at 15 years of age
>>
What should I wear to my work Christmas part next month? Work in a bank and want to impress the slags
>>
>>67450875
No
>>
hmm
>>
>>67450835
Fuck, reminds me of a time at uni

>Friend has a girl come to visit him who is strictly platonic
>We're all drinking and she keeps making the eye at me
>Don't think anything of it
>Walking to a club
>Chatting away with her
>Tells me she needs to tell me something
>Ask what it is
>She says no it doesn't matter
>I'm feeling a bit confident because we've been pre drinking so I push her to tell me
>'I just really need to get laid tonight anon' she whispered in my ear
>Don't pick up on it because I should end myself for being a tard
>'Oh well the club we're going to is pretty busy you'll have no problem finding somebody there'

She didn't speak to me again that night
>>
>>67450906
>a lighter
>6 US dollars
SOMEBODY STOP HIM
>>
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there's a rumor going round that trump will grant infowars white house press credentials and appoint alex jones as press secretary
>>
>>67450912
go as eleven from stranger things
>>
>>67450912
Jacamo fits for every occasion
>>
>>67450906
thats a lot of shells
>>
Doing a public poo
>>
>>67450835
>I was a complete, awkward spastic to her but she didn't seem to care. She was very obvious that she liked me, never made the first move but she would kind of guide me to do it
tfw the same thing happened but without the sex part

maybe i'll look back on this and laugh
>>
>>67450949
Oh dear....
>>
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>>67450906
>>
>You can get arrested in the UK for using a gun to kill someone

Nice freedom lads
>>
>>67450835
NEED THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME
>>
>>67450949
there wasn't even anything to pick up on, it was a direct invitation
>>
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>>67450826
>>
>>67450949
Good fucking god, I've made mistakes similar but never this severe
>>
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ARGH LADS I'M STILL SICK I CAN'T STOP SHITTING I'VE BEEN ON THE BOG FOR OVER AN HOUR NOW HELP ME REEEEEE
>>
>>67451003
>you can get arrested in the US for jaywalking an empty street

Nice freedom dude
>>
>>67451010
>>67451017
>>67450995
I'd been dumped by my gf before uni and my self confidence was probably in the minuses.

Nevertheless still pretty bad but yano.

>Tfw that wasn't my only cock up and had a few incidents like that
>>
>>67450949
It's amazing how people fuck up so badly. Jesus Christ,
>>
>>67451037
FOS
>>
Can't they just impeach Trump
>>
>>67450949
Honestly im a normie and when they are this direct is sometimes throws me off as well.

"I've had a qt girl come up to me and say im drunk but im riding your dick tonight"

I'm usually pretty confident but I had absolutely no idea how to respond to that, especially in front of everyone.

Just mumbled "o-ok"
>>
>>67450949
I've seen this post before
>>
>>67451075
Good lad, thinking of starting a website, but then realised I only have about 7 of these stories from uni and my most popular is now being reposted everywhere anyway.
>>
>>67450906
youtube.com/watch?v=0uYHEsJBl1k
>>
>>67451059
why would they?
>>
>>67451059
You have to break the law while in office to be impeached, plus his party controls congress so even if he did he wouldn't be.
>>
>>67451059
It's quite possible that he won't last a year. He'll either be impeached or he'll retire. Get ready for president Pence
>>
>>67451064
you say why wait


but honestly >tfw don't even get these opportunities to spaz out
>>
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>>67450949
Jesus christ
>>
>>67451047
Go on lad, tell us more of them
>>
/Brit/ is for alphas only. Get your r9k shit out of here
>>
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>>67451120
>>
>>67449900
>make music
actually always failing to reach your own ideal of perfection or "good" while creating something will make it even worse
only mongs feel contempt with making something that's half finished
>>
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the home pub
>>
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>>67451166
>>
>>67451058
Here I am defending your beloved country and you call me full of shit for an obvious true fact.

You do deserve the post-leave inflation afterall lmao
>>
>>67451155
Na senpai, told them loads, probably nobody wants to hear anymore of me sperging at uni and not getting laid.
>>
>>67450949
>Oh well the club we're going to is pretty busy you'll have no problem finding somebody there
are you a fucking retard
>>
>>67451172
think you mean "content" la
>>
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>/Brit/ is for alphas only. Get your r9k shit out of here
>>
>>67451187
ah yes indeed
>>
>>67451182
Like I said my gf dumped me just before uni and it completely ruined my self confidence.

Spent a good two and a bit years believing that a woman wouldn't be interested in me ever again. It was a bad time.
>>
>>67451213
why are you such a pussy
>>
I wish there was a place to read more of these stories of failure (rip r9k before trp took it over)
>>
>>67450427
how do you find an iphone screenshot on your desktop
>>
>>67450949
What did you do wrong exactly?
>>
Once got a girl back to my room lads and still managed to fuck it up

I'd asked if she wanted to come back and she said yea. We got in, and I just had no idea how to advance.

We had awkward small chat for 5 minutes and then she left.
>>
is the aussie who like cinema here
>>
>>67451281
he assumed her gender
>>
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>>67451284
And I thought I was bad
>>
alright, one more, my most popular one that I've posted loads

>After about two years, finally get some confidence back
>Ask girl I've been on a project with to meet for drinks
>She says yes
>We go for drinks a few times
>One time she forces me to kiss her and says to stop being so shy
>One night after about 5 dates she asks me to walk her back
>Get to her door, ssks me if I'd like to come in for coffee
>Tell her I don't like coffee
>Looks at me like I'm retarded and gives me a stronger hint
>Tell her I'll have a water
>Phew, saved it
>Get in there, we talk downstairs before she asks if I want to see her room
>Get there, awkwardly look and shuffle at stuff whilst she sits on the bed
>She says 'look anon, I'm guessing you didn't come here to look at my room'
>Finally on the bed kissing
>Can't get her top off at first, but then it comes off, can't get the bra off and she gets it off herself
>Boobs out, don't touch them, don't want to be rapey, she tells me to touch them and stop being shy
>Lay there, rock hard with her tits out and her kissing and grinding on me minutes earlier
>'What are you thinking anon?' she says
>Panic
>'Your skin is really soft, all credit to your moisturiser'

She got 'tired' and I had to leave. Broke up with me soon after
>>
>british general
>30% of the posts are from non-british flags
Pottery
>>
first time I went on a date with a girl we got absolutely hammered in a bar, went back to her place, listened to music and chatted on her bed - then she started kissing me like mad and I was just kind of stunned and this went on for maybe 10 minutes and then I made an excuse to leave

still a virgin

never spoke to her again either even though she was actually quite nice
>>
bit tired
>>
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Please fedora quote me.
>>
>>67451360
it's british empire general
>>
I laugh at these greentext scenarios but I just know that if I were in the same situation, I'd find a way to fuck it up and just not pick up signals. I've been ridiculously lucky in that every gf or hookup I've had the girl has just outright told me what she wants
>>
redpill me on inflation rates
>>
>>67451353
This is painful but that last line of green text has me creasing everytime lad.
>>
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>>67451176
>NFL
>>
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>>67451353
>>
>>67451353
mate.
>>
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>>67451353
Mate....just stop.... please
>>
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>>67451353
Fucking hell
>>
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>>67451353
>>
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>>67451059
>trump will serve two terms
>ivanka will win in 2024 and serve two terms
>don jr will win in 2032 and serve two terms
>barron will win in 2040 and serve two terms
>>
>>67451353
>>Get to her door, ssks me if I'd like to come in for coffee
>>Tell her I don't like coffee
>>Looks at me like I'm retarded and gives me a stronger hint
in your defence, what the fuck is the point of her being coy at this point

>>'Your skin is really soft, all credit to your moisturiser'
this is beautiful
>>
>look through hidden notes on samples in tracker music files
>come to the conclusion that the composer is gay
>>
>>67451378 here

>>67451353
Fuck what I said. You're a fucking moron
>>
>didn't pleasure him enough
>staying with a cheater
why did hillary get blamed for her husband's mistakes?

answer that, misogynists
>>
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>>67451353
>>'Your skin is really soft, all credit to your moisturiser'


My housemates come in thinking I'd hurt myself and was screaming.

Was just doing a cry with laughter.

Cannot fucking breathe.
>>
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>>67451353
>>'Your skin is really soft, all credit to your moisturiser'
surprised i remember this story but not this line
holy shit
>>
>John Oliver's team stole a joke from a fucking /wsg/ poster
The fucking state of John Oliver.
>>
might shill for Jill Stein until January for ironic purposes
>>
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>8:00 am wake up
>8:15 shower
>8:30 eat breakfast
>8:40 travel to work
>9:00 arrive at work
>9:00-10:00 check and respond to massive amount of e-mails (probably in trouble for something)
>10-11 actually do real work
>11-11:30 fuck around on internet until lunch
>12-12:30 shitty lunch
>1-3 meetings, will probably get yelled at for something by management that has absolutely no clue what they are talking about or who I am
>3-4:30 do real work again trying to make sure I won't wake up to 200 emails the next morning (I will)
>4:30 try to sneak out a bit early so noseberg doesnt see me
>5:15 get home
>5:15- 6:30 eat dinner
>6:30-9 watch a film, shitpost, catch up on news, do chores
>9-10 wank or lie in bed reading
>10-8am sleep
>repeated every day for the next 35+ years except for the few days I get off for holiday
>>
>>67451439
the so called 'republic'
>>
girl got naked in front of me once and kept telling me she was cold and needed me to warm her
she didnt get out the proper documentation signing that she consented to such actions so i refused
>>
bernie would have been the best choice
>>
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>>67451353
>'Your skin is really soft, all credit to your moisturiser'
>>
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>>67451353
>>
>>67451439
I hope Hillary survives another 8 years to see a Trump become the first female president.
>>
>>67451482
Which joke?
>>
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16" BBQ chicken pizza from Costco lads, £6.99 and better than Dominos for me

get on it
>>
So me and the gf are talking.

Sexual fantasies and the like.

I say cutie shit like you're more than I could ever fantasise about.

She shows me her reddit account.

>mfw
>>
>>67451353
Honestly nearly pissed myself at this. That last line is killing me mate.
>>
> it's a newcunts go apeshit over copypasta episode

dear god get me out of here
>>
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murica is finished
>>
>>67451353
>what are you thinking anon?

To be fair that's a really stupid question to ask
>>
>>67451466
>>67451469
>>67451448
reddit has fucking ruined this place
>>
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>>67451510
Comrade Sanders will get his revenge
>>
>>67451535
can I have her?
>>
>>67451569
don't reply to me
>>
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>>67451353
I don't see the problem...
>>
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that first sip of the night
>>
>>67451526
>>>/wsg/1392928
>>>/wsg/1393868
>>
>>67451595
sperglord
>>
>>67451528
>membership plus retail charges

you're supposed to buy 50 pizzas
>>
She comes back to tell me she's gone
As if I didn't know that
As if I didn't know my own bed
As if I'd never noticed
The way she brushed her hair from her forehead
And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow
>>
just woke up lol
>>
>actively avoid relationships
>I try to tell this one girl this
>she just thinks I'm playing hard to get
>end up shagging anyway
>now she wants a relationship out of this

does anyone want a gf?
>>
got a pain in my chest on the right hand side near the lower ribs
>>
gf wants me to go to a pub quiz

she can FUCK OFF
>>
>>67451556
They fucking love asking this question
Honestly started replying with increasingly ridiculous answers so she'll stop
>>
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i will tell you lads the story of the time i came closest to losing my virginity:

>3 years ago in freshers, first night out
>gave a good showing of myself at pres, made people laugh
>"heh guess i was destined to be a normie after all"
>"getting laid at uni will be easy, especially during freshers"
>go to a nightclub for the first time in my life and actually enjoy it
>girl from pres starts dancing with me
>legit 7/10 competitive swimmer
>grabs my hand takes me to the sofa area
>start making out
>the endorphins that are flooding my head at this stage are comparable to mdma
>i start telling her how much this means to me and tell her im a virgin
>"i-im just going to pop to the toilet anon"
>she never returns of course
>torn between feeling very optimistic and very pessimistic
>get really desperate and try to get with any girl
>doesn't work; go home
>never come that close again
>she becomes the fuckbuddy of the guy that lives 2 doors down from me in halls
>sometimes question whether this actually happened
>>
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*steals your wallet*
>>
>>67451661
>Not taking every opportunity to absolutely humiliate everyone with your superior knowledge of useless trivia
Are you even a man?

>>67451665
I remember once replying with "Did the pope ever spit on a fag?" and she never asked me the question again.
>>
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I remember another girl I met in a pub
>she was spanish and couldn't speak good english
>we we're talking for agess and eventually I asked her something
>I can't remember what it was some thing like "So how long are you living here?"
>she says "yes
>"that wasn't a yes or no question"
>"you asked me did I want to go back to yours?"
>"yes, yes I did"
>>
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Websites such as Breitbart, Danger and Play, Return of Kings, 4chan, Reddit contribute to the radicalisation of white men. Be aware of them.

If you've ever dealt with any of these websites you'd understand how fucking terrifying they are
>>
>>67451353
Read this before. Even so.
>>
>>67451652
That's where the liver is
>>
>>67451697
>Trying to tell funny awkward stories like awkward story anon

Just stop lad, his are by far always the funniest, it's the one liners
>>
Are we telling stories about the closest we've ever come to losing our virginity? Here's mine:

>Got a girl's number
>Texted her a bunch over the course of a few months
>Stopped texting each other
>Never spoke again
>>
>>67451732
it means a lot to me ok?
>>
>>67451707
ah yes I'm sure this happened when 100% of paddy posters on /brit/ are depressed NEET virgins
>>
>>67451735
ah.... yes
>>
>>67451720
i-is it cancer
i'm not even an alcoholic
>>
the butch lesbian at work is more of a lad than me

really makes you think
>>
>>67451707
hmmm yes this definitely happened
>>
I've found god lads
>>
>>67451756
I'm a depressed neet but not a virgin
>>
>tfw don't have any embarrassing greentext stories
>>
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>>67451735
>>67451769
haha nice heres mine. was really close
>>
>>67451559
been here for longer than you you utter yank twat get the fuck out of my thread this instant
>>
Jeb!
>>
whenever I'm not with the gf she spends her time mourning her recently deceased father

whenever I'm not around her I'm cheating on her

beginning to almost feel bad about it lads
>>
>>67451776
Sounds like you are suffering from hypochondria
>>
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>no aisha gf
>>
>>67451817
To be fair lad, I never used to think my life was that bad, until I posted my green texts here and everytime I get like 20 replies all cringing or laughing at me.

Worstpart is I've got several and sometimes people say it's too cringe to be true, but it's actually my life.

I'm not sure what that says about me but miraculously I do have a gf.
>>
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>>67451700
*catches you and puts you in jail*
>>
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My life story starts with a green text arrow desu

one mistake after the other
>>
>>67451735
hot dogging my ex's ass
she wanted me to stick it in her butt but she didnt clean it so i refused
>>
Soros is on the top trending articles on facebook lads. Scary how he's gone from in the shadows to mainstream knowledge
>>
*sprays you with xenoestrogens*
>>
>>67451870
>Ywn be a good looking autist giving credit to moisturiser before failing to bone a girl

conflicting feel
>>
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the so-called k hole
>>
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>9000 people live in this box

How?
>>
>>67451911
>in the shadows

off to bed child
>>
>>67451710
Radicalized white men are literally the most dominant force on the planet. It's understandable why every other demographic is trying to neuter them
>>
wish I had the imagination to lie about how great my life is on /brit/ to make my fellow pathetic beta neets jelly
>>
>>67451870
you the one with the plane stories?
>>
closet I've come to losing my virginity:
>around the time everyone started having sex
>hanging out with the boys, one lad decides to invite some girls
>talking to one of them, shes cool
>msgs me on facebook saying she actually likes me and invites me round to hers
>block all contact from her and delete her from facebook
>never hang out with that lad again
I wish I was joking.
>>
Why are there only 3 commieslags posted here? There's got to be more
>>
>>67451938
SOURCE

9k isn't that many btw
>>
>>67451697
>getting emotionally invested in a bar slag
>telling a girl you're a virgin
You'll know next time sure
>>
>>67451353
>>67451399
>>67451406
>>67451418
>>67451427
>>67451429
>>67451438
>>67451448
>>67451455
>>67451466
>>67451469
>>67451515
>>67451516
>>67451717

reminds me of that time I went to my ex-oneitus house and we were chatting shit for about an hour when drunk and then she was like, you can sleep here, in my gay housemate's room or my room.

I was like, aw cheers, and slept in her housemate's room because I was a fucking beta.
>>
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>>67451912
So basically having a shower then?
>>
saw the street view car today
>>
*stomps this thread flat*
>>
>>67452022
My neighbour drives one so I get to see it everyday.
>>
>>67451978
Yeah, I'm probably gonna get myself doxxed at this rate but I'm the lad who kept pressing the light switch on the plane thinking mine wasn't working before realising that it was flicking the light above somebody on my row trying to sleep on and off.

I'm also the lad that sat down with my legs stretched forward because I didn't know how squatting toilets worked.
>>
>>67451990
For what purpose
>>
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picture of northerners in stoke-on-trent
>>
>>67451994
you can't get invested in their lives if there are too many of them
>>
>>67452075
Autism.
>>
>shit soggy pub stories
>>
>>67452006
Are you aware that you give out advice about dealing with girls to other anons?
Why do you do this, if this is the extent of your success?
>>
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>>67452074
>I'm the lad who kept pressing the light switch on the plane thinking mine wasn't working before realising that it was flicking the light above somebody on my row trying to sleep on and off.

Fucking kek. What a tit.
>>
*blockades French ports*
>>
>>67451710
nice pic of her
>>
>>67452076
>stoke on trent
>northern

umm no sweetie
>>
>>67452117
was Arsene Wenger a top player? Jose Mourinho? No.
>>
>reading these greentexts
>all the memories of my own horrible failures come flooding back
ah yes
>>
>>67451911
he's the scapegoat for the rest of the kosher clique
>>67451931
>return the slab
>>
hi
>>
>>67452144
anywhere north of bristol is the north you cunt
>>
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Doing a greentext
>meet a girl
>we have a mutual attraction
>shag her with zero awkward moments because i don't take myself too seriously
Heh
>>
>>67452213
it's called the midlands you fucktard
>>
>>67452074
you do autistic things but they're harmless enough to be funny to normies
>>
>>67452255
>>67452255
>>67452255
>>
>>67451830
>HAHAHA IM FUCKING SCREAMING CRYING FROM SOME COMPLETELY FAKE GREENTEXT STORY

yeah fuck off. reddit tier "Cringe" story at its best.
>>
>>67451710
>If you've ever dealt with any of these websites
enjoyed that reference very much xx kek
Thread posts: 331
Thread images: 70


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