Behind every UK flag

>>66924365
Heh

>>66924365
Heh.

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>>66924365

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>>66924365
>Wake up
>Roll my 400lb American body out of bed
>Admire myself in the mirror
>"Oh yeah, all-American man"
>Stomach rumbles
>"I haven't eaten in nearly 40 minutes!"
>This won't do
>Waddle to my car, making sure to make prolonged eye contact with the neighbour's 14-year-old daughter
>She wants me
>Flop into car
>Suspension creaks underneath my American-made physique
>japanesepieceofshit.jpg
>Speed to the local mart
>Grab the last mobility scooter
>The smell of feces wafts my face like a cool summer breeze as the automatic doors open
>In my excitement, my stomach rumbles once again
>I begin sharting
>As the scooter rolls forward to the frozen pizzas a thin, brown trail follows me
>The glorious smell of the double chocolate chili dogs fills the aisles
>My fellow Americans breathe deep
>My eyes fill
>I have contributed to our great national passtime
>Everyone recites the Pledge of Allegiance
>"I shart allegiance to the Fart of the United Shits of America, and to the Mart for which it stands, one Asscrack under God, unwipeable, with stink and stains for all."
>A man in a shart-stained suit runs up to me
>Hands me a contract for Major League Sharting
>"Kid, you're gonna be a star! A brown star!
>My bowels fully release
>Everyone applauds
>Finally, I have achieved the American Dream

>>66924442

10/ 10

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>>66924365

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>>66924442
It's... beautiful

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>>66924442
>>"I shart allegiance to the Fart of the United Shits of America, and to the Mart for which it stands, one Asscrack under God, unwipeable, with stink and stains for all."

ALL THE THINGS THAT I USED TO SAY

ALL THE WORDS THAT GOT IN THE WAY

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>>66924442
ameritips btfo

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>>66924442
YANKS ON SUICIDE WATCH

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>>66924442

>>66924365
All me