/brit/

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looks like a pete

First for Moray

let's come together as a skyuuuu

nth for sheffield

>>66537698
put a Markov on it

>>66537747
really not sure what to think about this

need some good songs

no grime

>>66537747
WHAT THE FUCK

need a scottish lass to yell at me for staying out too late at the pub

Getting my daily dose of /r/kotakuinaction and /v/gamergate

>>66537747
haha, utterly horrid

>>66537747
me preppin the digits on the right

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>I know the life and works of Pete Burns

>>66537735
ah yes
a bloated fat old tranny

>>66537777
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGNiXGX2nLU

checked btw

>tfw university challenge got replaced by autumnwatch

I'm furious lads

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trump rally is starting lads

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>>66537789
need an irish one desu

who /niallferguson/ here

>>66537777
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05V4CgSL0lw

>>66537747
slag? more like slack haha

>>66537806
>>66537815
ah yes the meatspin song

>mentally ill bloated corpse (literally) of a one hit wonder tranny dies
>I'm supposed to care

mm ah yes

>never heard of pete burns

current #1 indicator of an underage cunt

I'm Niall ferguson AMA

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gf sent me this

she took it a couple of minutes ago

she lives in high wycombe

>>66537789
bizarre fantasy Leaf

Business idea: LGBT-themed bakery called Poof Pastry

>>66537827
should I feel bad for only knowing the answer to less than half of the questions on that show?

>>66537874
refuse to serve cis straight people

>>66537815
Damn, I love that song

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>runts complaining people make scoail media posts about dead celebrities

ahh yes seen this episode quite a few times this year

You Spin Me Round is a fucking belter can't deny that

here's a toughy

would you kill a right-winger if it meant letting in all the migrants from calais?

Got the gf to iron my shirts lads.

>>66537921
meatspin ruined it

probably was pete burns as well

>>66537859
he's the guy from the simpsons right?

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absolute grid on this one

>>66537921
I'd like to meat spin you if you know what I mean. m8.

Do you lads reckon Mr Ben's Rice is healthy?

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>Melissa Joan Hart (who played Sabrina the Teenage Witch) is 40 YEARS OLD

Holy fuck now I feel old

>>66537971
Healthier than starving

the 80s was the best decade
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opkzgLMH5MA

>>>/qa/781987

>>>/qa/781987

>>>/qa/781987

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what do I have to do to get a sara gf round here?

>>66537971
Don't you mean uncle?

>>66537953
Look at the state of that geezer. Glad that beast has finally been slain.

redpill me on Skegness
looks like a nice town

>all the CIA niggers in this thread

>>66537975
amazes me how people are constantly taken aback by the passage of time . there is literally nothing more predictable

>>66537975

used to watch clarissa explains it all

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>>66537975

>the cat that played Salem died 26 years ago

If you don't know who Pete Burns is then you're underage 2bh.

He was most kids first introduction to trannies when he showed up on CBB.

>>66538017
Literally one of the most dilapidated shitholes in the country

>>66538017
aye skeggers is alri m8

not a patch on grimsby though

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>amazes me how people are constantly taken aback by the passage of time . there is literally nothing more predictable

>>66538029

>literally nothing more predictable

t. einstein

>>66538056
pretty sure he was animatronic

>>66538063
you guys say that about everything though

>>66538007
That's the stuff.

I just wondered if their plain rice is actual good rice or if they've added a load of unhealthy shit to it.

I know their ready meal rice isn't that good,

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>*pours you a pint*

is danebro is denmark again?

>>66538029
It's not the simple linear passage of time you utter fucking sperg, it's the sudden reminder of how fleeting your time on this planet is. I grew up watching a "teenage witch" on TV who now 40 fucking years old. Granted she was probably in her 20s on that show but still

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>>66538029

sex is all that matters

>>66538094
because most of it is shit

>>66538111
Barrel needs changing m8

>>66538121
>.png (2.29 MB

Not for me, thanks,

>>66537901
Nah la I would be sued and forced to serve them anyway.

Like the Christian bakery which was sued for refusing to make a cake with the "Support Gay Marriage" and finally lost today.

http://www.secularism.org.uk/news/2016/10/ashers-bakery-loses-appeal-over-cake-with-support-gay-marriage-slogan

>>66538111
that'll be £11.50 please

>>66538111
If pogba was a pint !!!

>>66537777
https://youtu.be/VRZIySvPMZA

>>66538124
t. virgin

tears in my eyes

>cold orange lucozade

gods drink

>>66538111

anyone noticed that female bartenders cannot pour a guinness to save their lives

>>66538148
forgot about the people using tesco dial up with a 500mb monthly cap

>>66538167
t. gay virign

>>66538017
happens when you dont wash your willy lad haha x

member when we all spoke english

Business idea: be a pretty young effeminate twink and have a music career with that being my main gimmick.
then get old and fat and bloated and decide to fuck my face up with shitloads of plastic surgery

hmm yes

>>66538114
I'm not him

>>66538186
>not original
stop fooling yourself m8

>>66538186
>implying Allah would drink Chavozade

find cider to be sickeningly sweet

>>66538017
wanna go for a romantic weekend at butlins?

>>66538207
no

>>66538223

Yeh allah strikes me as more of a powerade man

>>66538218
This. Orange lucozade makes me feel a bit sick

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>anyone noticed that female bartenders cannot pour a guinness to save their lives

>>66538225
Fit, she made the right choice imo

>>66538218
Original is disgusting, the shelf is always full with it because nobody buys it

>>66538207
what do we speak now?

>>66538225
wtf i hate women now

redpill me on sheffield

Anyone else bad at their job?

I'm not intentionally bad (except when I deliberately 'forget' to do things I can't be arsed doing) but I'm just crap at the job. I don't know enough, I don't give a shit about customers, I'm too afraid to get off my arse and ask for help.

Sometimes I look around and think "surely no one else here is as terrible at their job as I am".

>>66538216
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1AuCmib4eJg

>>66538226
What are you drinking?

>>66538276
it's a bit shit
but it's sort of okay

>>66538225
Her superior intellect made her realise she could protect herself and make other kids.

>>66538276
northern powerhouse

https://youtu.be/TFwCmx_6Cu8

>drake is a grimeaboo

>>66538225

ah yes, the daily mail

>>66538204
t. projecting gay virgin

Original lucozade is disgusting and never sells

i feel sick even typing about original lucozade

>>66538290
r u me

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Yeah I jumped out the matte black, swagger like The Rap Pack, Jacket no snap-back...nah
Nah I don't have Snapchat, I'm not easy to contact, i'm old school like that

She really cheeky with the backchat, yeah you talk a good one, lets see if you can back that!

She left no room to backtrack, you should see my room, babe i'm a fat-cat

In 5 if we skip the chit chat, we can beat the traffic I'll get you back intact...swear

Yeah you an't got to call back, see me any time in the form of a flashback

Flash bang, quick ting, smash grab, champers, pancakes, breakfast, black-cab!

Yeah we tapping no claptrap, pain getting side tracked,signing no contract

>>66538260
It doesn't even taste like orange, it's like a weird artificial taste

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there is no law for the rich

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rate my new shirt

>>66538312
Original PUKEOZADE innit lmao

>>66538312
no one drinks that shite
orange should be treated as the original

>>66538264
Ladinese

>>66538295

not drinking it currently, was just thinking about it.

the only cider I've tried is strongbow and sumerbys

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No fap has become a lot easier since I kissed a girl tb h

usually don't drink on a monday but was bored and had a few galahads left over from the weekend so was like 'meh. might aswell!'

>>66538303
he has BBK tattooed on him mate

Kanye is a grimeaboo too

>>66538306
t. in denial projecting gay virgin

>>66538276
North Sheffield: rural parts, some shitholes, arctic monkeys from here
>West Sheffield: Students
>South West Sheffield: Wealthy suburb part, lots of doctors, lawyers etc
>Rest: Mostly a shithole

>>66538152
Looking for a Muslim bakery and hoping to order a cake with a picture of Mohammed ATM.

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autism

>>66538322
i can see a bit of nip

*alerts the janny*

Anyone else ever think about joining a church or support group and lying about having dark issues in your past (drug addiction or whatever) and trying to overcome them, just so you get loads of positive attention?

>>66538357
>since I kissed a girl tb h
enjoy your cooties mate

>>66538290
I'm mediocre in every way. I'm the sort of person who when he's 35 gets made manager just because nobody else sticks around because they have ambition, talent or get sacked.

>>66538369
>Wealthy suburb part, lots of doctors, lawyers etc
>northern england

Don't kid yourself mate

>>66538405
>cooties
Fuck off yank

>>66538366
mental

>>66538337

I know someone with a phd in a science discipline and they're christian

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What do ya reckon?

>>66538401
no because I'm not a sociopath

>>66538401
No because I'm not a pathetic worm desperate for validation

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>never kissed a girl for 20 years
>actually started talking to them
>kissed 3 in the last week

Love the good looking gimmick tb h

>>66538303
>dave
>grime

he's great but he's not grime he's hip-hop
so happy for him though
he seems like a pretty intelligent guy and he makes good music, he's only 17 too. getting a feature from the biggest popstar on the planet must be such a good feeling

>>66538424
exception rather than the rule really quebecois

>>66538367
t. in-denial projecting ugly gay virgin

>>66538401
who lying

>when you realize you can't buy guns here
literally got a plane ticket back home that same instant

>>66538312
Take that back you runt.

feeling weak like I haven't eaten anything today, but I had quite a large lunch
haven't eaten dinner because I'm not hungry

>>66538424
no you don't

>>66538414
Yep all the doctors, lawyers and lecturers here are all bussed in from southern England just because.

>>66538393
Imagine someone actually buying the jew one

Holy fuck

>>66538393

>a happy merchant shirt

the SPLC is going to sue the shit out of them.

>>66538468
sounds like AIDS

>>66538458
foy
oh you're already doing that
well just carry on then

British GF wants me to move to the UK. Spent quite a few years living there already and absolutely can't stand the place. Should I just give her the boot or should I move there and deal with living in that shit country just so I don't end up alone forever.

>>66538401
you own a ikea tier flat dont you mate?

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Top banter

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/child-refugees-westminster_uk_580df2ace4b056572d8339a3?ir=UK+Politics&utm_hp_ref=uk-politics

>Poster Mocking Child Refugees Found In Parliament Communal Kitchen, MP Reveals

Business idea: buy lots of black clothing

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sad!

>>66538421
how did you not know this lad? it's hardly new news

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO6DxYzB5ZE

>>66538498
where do you live currently

>>66538447
true but he's done a few grime things, mostly cos of aj tracey
https://youtu.be/02FEVhyp_Rg

>>66538498
we're full

future generations will be unable to comprehend that we actually put people in prison for consuming the "wrong" molecules. it will be more ridiculous than burning witches seems to us.

want to pull another boy's willy to see if it feels like mine

>>66538516
ehh

I'd fuck her

>>66538498
do you love her

>>66538498
Ah look he's back pedaling his old nonsense. Fuck off

>>66538498
There are always other women. Not all of them have qt accents, however.

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>>66538512

>lock car door via key
>always check handle

Don't know why I'm so paranoid about anyone getting in my car. There is nothing in there to steal and they can't nick it without the key.

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>>66538516

dunno what I'd do without my foreman grill lads haha

>>66538498
Sorry mate, we're full. Take her with you please.

Why does every single new tv show from the UK have white women taking black cock? Really made me ponder

>>66538495
Yeah no problem.

I'm gonna be shootin' shit while you sit at home and drink tea with crumpets

>>66538401

>tfw wouldn't have to lie

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>mfw tim has moved
Does he have any grievances about his new place yet lads? Has DPD given him a visit yet?

my bollocks might not survive this one lads

>>66538599
jewish agenda

>>66538599
must be the viking influence haha

>>66538542
don't rate mez at all, can't understand a word the cunt is saying

eyez though, rate him massively

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din dins

>>66538601
>he needs a gun to feel like a big guy for me

>>66538581
If it's remote locking it's fair enough because it might click but that doesn't guarantee it's locked all the doors. If it's an old school turn key then you're retarded

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>>66538512

>>66538599
it's netflix tbf

>>66538608
i might give YOU a visit if you're not careful

*puts the heating on*

>>66538599
which ones are you on about

>become a disgusting fat fuck
>omg so brave x

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOhzq1oO-lk

>>66538632
shut the frick up you pillock

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>>66538608
how did he get so fat?

>>66538664
GOODFELLAS

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>>66538608
He's a lot happier I think

he's even trying to get acting work again now

>>66538660
FOB

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>>66538639
>Vegetarian sausages

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>>66538660

chasing a dragon

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>>66538512

>>66538687
jog on mez, stop mumbling

>>66538410
It's weird when you see people who have ambition.

There's a girl at my work who's a real go-getter type. She's a total nuthugger, social climber, really buys into the whole office politics thing and always makes sure to rub shoulders with the right people. Yeah it's transparent but she embraces it fully and it works. A few weeks back she got a promotion and literally doubled her salary.

Dunno where these normans get the energy.

so you lads are saying sheffield is the country's second city?

*saunters into the thread*
haha WAHEEEEY alri lads haha

britain literally dumped tons of heroin in china, and then took china to war when it tried to ban the importation of british heroin

I like the empire and all but that's fucked

london feels threatened by Birminghams growth

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why do brits have so many of those split houses where two families live right next to each other? what if you hate your neighbor?

>flatmates playing loud guitar to try to impress his gf
Why do guys play guitar to try and impress girls? Its a shit instrument

>>66538660
>tfw gas included in my rent
>tfw have it on full blast 24/7 and open a window if it gets a bit too hot

take that landlord scum

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another shipment of troops

>>66538691
Literally never heard of it mate

>>66538647
Happened in like 75% of Black Mirror episodes before Netflix took over as well

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>>66538512

Re-watching Peep show from S1 Ep1. I'd forgotten how good it is.

>>66538675
she still has a great figure tbf . large but everything in place and not yet sagging

Making great potstickers laddos

>>66538738
semi-detached

and if you hate your neighbour you quietly ignore each other

>>66538660
>Not popping on the dressing gown and slippers

There will be no heating in this house unless we're below 0.

>>66538691
ALL DA JOYZ OF BEIN BLACK IN A WHITE NEIGHBORHOOD

>At work
>Meet a qt who just started working there
>Decide to eat dinner with her
>She casually mentions "my boyfriend"
Every single time I find a girl I like she has a boyfriend. JUST.

>>66538724
yes

>>66538738
>what if you hate your neighbour

Then you grin and bear it for the next 50 years.

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>>66538733
>bad mouthing heroin

Woah woah WOAH. /brit/ is a safe space for scottish people you know

>*arrives in the Northern Powerhouse*

Ahhh yes, the bright lights, the land of opportunity.

>>66538689

schizophrenia has many physical effects as well as mental

>>66538756
Same here, watching it on netflix?

you! yes you!

stand still, laddy!

>>66538738
post yank semi detached

>>66538740
>Its a shit instrument
It's easy and portable
Impress her with your superior taste in fench electro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeAAi7jWOl8
Hasn't worked for me so far, but I'm short and ugly.

currently: dont have a gf

>>66538740
why would you need to impress your gf

surely if she is your gf you don't need to impress her anymore you already impressed her enough for her to become your gf

>>66538733
t. Bai Xiao Hong

>>66538802
The "so called" Northern Powerhouse

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I wonder...

>>66538691
not even a tv show is it
pretty sure it's just a youtube series

*poos on your head*
hehehehahahahahahahehehHAHAHAHEHHhehHAHAHA
HOOOHOOHOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>66538696
>he's even trying to get acting work again now

profes?

>>66538738

if you hate your neighbour then you let your cats shit in their garden and cut down part of their tree that is overhanging

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>>66538733
it got us this, who gives a fuck about chinks lel

business idea: grime and kpop twats both fuck off to /mu/

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>>66538733
>That's what he has a problem with
Whatever you do you don't want to look into it further

and that's it?

i'm so so sorry

goodnight

goodnight

>>66538831
BARKED

>>66538664
Black Mirror, Dr. Who, hell even Downton Abbey even though it's patently absurd in a historical context.

>>66538756
it goes downhill after the wedding

>>66538733
let me tell you about the time we genocided about one million irishmen

>>66538831
That dog is creepy af, looks like a dude in a suit

>>66538806
>watching it on netflix?
Nah, 4OD.

(>inb4 Ads)

>>66538806
ha ha me too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=najMxMa6RaA

highly recommend the show atlanta starring donald glover

only 8 or so episodes of it out so far but it's really good

>>66538733
True but history is fucked.
Nobody sheds a tear for Britain when every village was raided/men killed/women raped constantly for centuries by Vikings. Then the French.
THEN we got our revenge... and we're the only bad guys?

>>66538791
same thing happened to me today (except no dinner)

good side : proves she saw my game
saw me as potential bf

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Why don't Americans celebrate Halloween?

>>66538870
fuck off.

i am literally picketing a green belt development right now

>>66538791

whenever i meet a new qt she always mentions her bf within the first 5 minutes

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>I got UK tings on the whatsapp darg like +44

>>66538814
Lesbians don't care for guitars

>>66538822
thats a good question and i have no idea

>>66538863
very good post

anyone actually watch any of the full 20-min videos Tim posts?

I only ever watch the camera tests if I even do watch them at all cause his singing is so woeful

>grandparents are getting a new dog
>it's half Alsatian, half corgi

firstly, how the FUCK did that come about? secondly what sort of fucking mutant freak dog is this going be

>>66538831
WOOF'D

>>66538820
At least your gf status can only change for the positive.

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post you are soapfu

>>66538788
its a subtle redpill in that they're admitting ethnic areas are comparatively garbage

getting my daily dose of alex jones and paul joseph watson

i rate pogba in a 4-3-3 when he plays as a box to box midfielder

>>66538904
what did he mean by this?

>>66538902
sue them
sexual harrassment

>>66538927
at least it's a mix and not a completely fucked up inbred dog

>>66538733
It was met with approval across the world back then as proof of Britain's commitment to free trade.

We know better now but back then everybody thought the Chinese were restricting the rights of their people.

>>66538904
CAS

>>66538897
*celebrates halloween*

proved you wrong haha

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LONG LIVE THE TORY REICH

>>66538880
Business idea: write a film about a man who dresses up like a dog and infiltrates a household.

do women ever grow up? this bint at work keeps acquiring new pets as if she's a little child. she got a hamster and brought it to work for some reason, got a cat, and won't shut up about getting a puppy, some fashion accessory toydog that can't breathe or walk.

>>66538927
Alsatian female corgi male

if they don't die during the incubation period, they usually have horrible birth defects

>at work
>systems go down
>scowl and pretend to be annoyed at all the work I can't do because of the system outages

Absolutely love every single second where there is a valid technical reason to be doing absolutely fuck all work.

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>>66538927

>>66538991
literally wilfred

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>>66538916
>Lesbians don't care for guitars
Try harmonica then.

>>66538961
see >>66538303
>>66538971
dave isn't dead

>>66538990
imagine this without scotland
omdayz we'd have tories forever

ahh yes kill off my favourite character very good

>tim's doing better

haha sure mate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4YolMCjzkg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52N0cqUz5yo

who here /mandem/?

me mummy is jamaican

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>>66538990
DELET THIS

>>66538539

Missouri

>>66538545
>>66538591

I know you're full, which is why I don't want to live there. Britain is too cramped, filthy, and expensive as it is.

>>66538561

Yes.

>>66538563

Nah mate

>>66538568

>Essex accent
>qt

>>66539022
US Wilfred > Aussie Wilfred

>>66538991
That'll be 20% of all profits la
Don't mess wiv me bruv

>>66539018
so how did the corgi reach

>>66539049
delete this post

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>You like them. They like you. What are you waiting for? Send them a message!

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>>66539021

>>66538990
hey maybe if the lib dems, snp, other and labour joined forces

285

oh well

>>66539043
English independence would be brilliant 2bqh

Got to wait until Saturday for the sesh lads not really a fan of these so called non weekend days

>>66539028
Or just make out, ignore the music bullshit to begin with

tim is literally having full blown conversations with moosey

>>66538812

We don't really have many semi-detached homes. Almost all are detached here.

http://www.heavensgate.com/

haha lads come check out my website x

they say rap's changed they wanna know how I feel about it

let's come together as a skyuuuuu

>>66538990
the state of labour
fucking hell haha
we're going to get to the point where a party that only has scottish MP's is the same size as labour

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why do brits park their boats on the beach?

new
>>66539127
>>66539127
>>66539127

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redpill me on TL;DR

today a lad at work got wanked off by another bloke against his will (only for like 10 seconds). Can't decide if it's fucked up or top shelf banter.

>>66539128
link

going to have a shag sesh with the lads on friday

hope the missus doesn't find out

How long after passing your driving test did you have your first accident, even if minor.

>>66539075
they usually get some help or the female is artificially inseminated

>>66539095
just shows it literally has nothing to do with the separatists or third party supporters and is all down to labour failing to win tory seats

>>66538599
BBC

Every journalist, writer or entertainer works there at the start and it's a leftie pit

>>66539063
alri tre mission

>>66539022
Never heard of it. Google search makes the dog look obviously fake. I'm thinking 'Big Mommas house' "realistic" disguise here.

>>66539254
>>66539254
>>66539254

>>66539192
burst a tire on a kerb like 4 years after. never had an accident with another driver though

>>66539192
Flipped a car about 6 months into driving

Have never bother to do the test

>>66539073
I'll pay you in (You)s.

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>>66539250
he's trini too, my other half is white british

>tomato puree stuffed crust pizza

Whats the fucking point

>>66539137
http://pakisissy.tumblr.com

>>66539250
park up pussy

>>66539192
I was tearing around for about 3 years before even doing mine haha

reversed into some guy on a country road one night but no damage so he let me off

>>66539091
would really like to analyse the cox genes on this hound

Imagine being a secondary school teacher, would be absolutely fucking shite i reckon

>>66539328
meme pizza

>>66539452
the fwb is a secondary school teacher

she says it's mostly okay, except for the occasional lesson where one of the usual suspects decides it's his time to be a dick

Enjoy it when a song comes on in the club and I know all the words

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>>66539524
need a teacher gf

Would VERY much like to put my Willy inside this woman if you know what I mean

https://youtu.be/8TdX7i2lHd4