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/brit/

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Thread replies: 327
Thread images: 45

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korean pop edition
>>
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>>
lost control of my life
>>
shit edition
>>
Would it be gay if I were to shag a transwoman escort?
>>
>>66521688
no just pathetic
>>
just ate chicken that's been out of the frige since six this morning, it's now ten

think i fuckin care??
>>
>>66521688
It's not gay as long you're giving it. It's dominance.
>>
>>66521685
never had control of my life
>>
literally just found a piccy of my pressies on the telly
>>
*tags you*
>>
>>66521715
lmao, ive eaten pizza wityh meat on it left out for 3 days
>>
http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Quirinus_Quirrell
>>
>>66521757
>>66521715
I've eaten chicken that's been out for over 24hrs, it wasn't raw though it was cooked then left. Ir's fine if it was cooked and covered over, probably not fine if it was raw and uncovered.
>>
>>66521754
ffs *crying emoji*
>>
i've eaten live chickens
>>
>>66521688
why fuck an escort when there's one shitposting on brit?
>>
>>66521688
>woman
>>
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lads
>>
>>66521801
looks like some fucking low budget slag exorcist movie 2/10 would not bang
>>
>>66521801
what compels a woman to post a photo like this to social media

trying to get into the mindset of a slag
>>
not sure if i want a coffee or a beer 2bh lads
>>
>>66521801
wow she looks very comfortable that position must be the normal one that she lies in all day it looks THAT comfortable and she isn't even looking at the camera, because she doesn't want attention she's just relaxing in the comfiest way possible
>>
Italo Disco 2bh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzBx52Btx_E
>>
>>66521774
>>66521757
both toys of the off food game, i ate smoked salmon that'd been in the hot sun for two days and suffered no ill effects

only had food poisoning once though, from delicious roll in enmore in sydney, jesus CHRIST i wanted to die, spent it eating xanax and shitting/throwing up every fucking twenty minutes

was the worst three days ever

on the second day my mate came round and was having a methamphetamine induced mental breakdown and he stayed in my bedroom with me for the rest of it

im glad i was able to help but man it was fucked
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzU5Q4uI3iw

tune
>>
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LADS DESU
>>
>>66521801
me taking the picture
>>
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>>66521819
don't they make money off these pics?
>>
>>66521785
>one shitposting on brit?
*two
>>
>>66521863
one post-transition and one pre. theres a bit of difference between the two stages
>>
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>>66521848
>I once did this
>it didn't harm me
>now we know for certain doing anything even vaguely like this ever is completely harmless

t. drug addicted centrelink dependant pleb
>>
I love UK!
>>
Lads, I've managed scrounge up several thousand pound. What do?
>>
gonna get laid in less than three weeks lads
>>
>>66521895
worst korea
>>
>>66521859
ahhh right haha the greasy hand of capitalism at work again eh hahaha
>>
>>66521854
black women are goddesses lads.
>ywn have a black wife
>>
>>66521819
"People should worship me by giving me some tumblr/instagram (you)s"
"I hope a rich chad see this and goes for me"

>>66521859
Or this, really
>>
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Truth
>>
>>66521883
>>66521863
>>66521785
go away "Monica"
>>
>>66521900
go travelling

it's the only sane answer
>>
>>66521895
What did he mean by this
>>
>>66521917
yeah but you can't take a king and kings can castle tbqfh
>>
>>66521893
i've been drunk twice in the past five months and aside from the completely sober, and employed since i was eighteen

you footposting grubloid, i'll let you off lightly if you can post a good riddle
>>
reminder that land is the only thing worth owning in this world

if you don't own land at the time of your death, your life has basically been a non-event
>>
>>66521925
Anywhere you'd recommend?

And should I wait until this Brexit malarkey blows over and the pound is actually worth something?
>>
>>66521900
give it to me
>>
>>66521943
yeah deffo going to care about owning a few acres when I'm dead mate
>>
>>66521904
Why? Best Zealand!

>>66521931
I love You!
>>
>>66521943
chill
>>
>>66521979
drink another energy drink you worm, your pineal gland is firmly crusted over
>>
>>66522004
your pineal gland must be embalmed mate because you are so far off the mark it's not even funny

>implying you can "own" anything on earth
>implying I won't ascend to moksha when I die

baka
>>
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i want to build a castle that lasts for thousands of years
>>
you really should not put people down, even seemingly joking comments can really hurt someone
>>
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the gf's halloween costume

not sure what it's supposed to be, some religious thing I think
>>
Insurance renewal being quoted at £600

FUCK OFF
>>
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>So desperate for friends I tagged along with the friendly liberal filth
>'Anon we're going to take a pic it's going to be so funny XD'
>O-Okay
Guess which one is me lads.
>>
Fucking bored out my nut at work, sick of my 'team' talking about dogshit subjects like tax returns and mortgages, no one cares do one you pricks

Wish I worked in the factory like the pond life you see at takeway reading Daily Sport, bet that's a laugh
>>
>>66522051
>halloween
fucking yanks
>>
>>66522068
looks like a fun group and the girls are qt Tbh
>>
>>66522051
thought that was Harley Quinn from the thumbnail
>>
>>66522068
jesus
>>
>>66522068
2nd from the left
>>
>>66522068
either far left with the sideburns or left with the glasses
>>
>>66522068
you're the one on the very far right
>>
>>66522051
looks like reddit mixed with christianity desu
>>
>>66521949
thailand, vietnam, cambodia

and well yeah you should wait anyway because the best season for travelling to these places is april-june

dirt cheap in these places
>>
>>66522052
What's wrong with that?
>>
who else /hildawg/

cannot wait for her presidency
>>
Birmingham is a fucking shithole
>>
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got my halloween costume sorted
>>
>>66522111
The one in the middle has amazing toes
>>66522137
>with the sideburns
You the winner.
>>
>>66521940
Once as a child I went fishing with a group of my friends. What we caught, we threw away; what we didn’t catch, we kept.

What did we keep?
>>
>>66521848
thankful i've never had food poisoning desu
>>
>>66522188
mate, bin the sideburns
>>
>>66522175
woofwoofwoofwoofwoofwoof :3c
>>
Does anyone have that laughing pepe?

Will trade one (You) for it.
>>
>>66522204
friendship
>>
>>66522068
The one behind the camera
>>
>>66522211
They look good head on, intimidating.
>>
>>66522219
No
>>
Birmingham>Manchester
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAusT_Yl1gE

>ywn go back to 6th form without a care in the world
>getting boozed and snorting anything in sight at house parties every weekend
>having a gf

peaked too early lads
>>
>>66522222
>>
>>66522204
HIV

because you already had it prior
>>
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>They look good head on, intimidating.
>>
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>>66522241
>>
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bath > york > sheffield > leeds > durham > manchester > birmingham > london
>>
browsing /r/transtimelines
>>
>>66522253
this was my decidedly unoriginal response but you beat me to it, well played sir

But I do genuinely think the poster has full blown aids
>>
>>66522274
do they include their inevitable suicides
>>
>>66522204
Nothing you prick
>>
>>66522271
delete this frog please mate
>>
>>66522188
im on FIRE today
>>
>>66522295
why?
>>
>>66522293
No
>>
Just pissed and some cum dripped out

Hmmm
>>
>some how through sheer luck manage to get close to a girl depsite having no friends job or social life
>hang around at hers
>she's really fucking horny
>spend an entire evening literally chilling with her in underwear dryhumping her, giving love bites on her body, rubbing each other's genitals, massaging her feet, grabbing her ass, sucking her nipples, kissing her and then we showered naked together
>can't fuck because on the blob
>ok cool i'll wait it out for a few days

>go out with her and a friend of hers
>she gets upset with me because i mentioned twice that the friend needed to pay me back for something I bought for all of us.
>suddenly becomes very distant and cold to me
>the friend leaves
>i ask her what's up, she explains why she feels unhappy with me
>i try to console her
>she eventually lets go and starts being nice to me again


BUT it seems as though sex is off the cards and as though she's no longer horny nor considering doing the nasty with me.

So there you go lads, I've done everything besides penetrative sex, and it feels dreadful knowing that I don't think I'll end up having sex with that girl and I don't think another girl will come into the picture for the longest time and that in just a few weeks when that girl leaves forever I will be once again lonesome.
>>
>>66522271
what's wrong with durham?
>>
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well
>>
https://twitter.com/darrengrimes_/status/789425242062151680?s=09

Juncker is based.

BASED.
>>
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>>66522274
>has a timeline on there somewhere
>>
>>66522204
is it nothing?
>>
Why do Brits and Australians celebrate Halloween now? It doesn't even make sense down here since it's a fucking Autumn tradition...
>>
>>66522342
no
>>
>ywn be Bruno Mars

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqyT8IEBkvY
>>
>>66522318
will definitely be reading this
>>
>>66522350
we've always had halloween here
>>
>>66522361
thanks, feedback would be appreciated
>>
>>66522341
found you
>>
Any frogposters here?

I wanna kick your asses!
>>
>>66522350
another excuse to have a pissup and for slags to be slaggy
>>
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>>66522338
>>
>>66522358
literal fucking BANGER
he's manlet tho
>>
>>66522351
fuck mate, you've got me
>>
>>66522379
not me, im not fat
>>
>>66522068
looks like a painting of the last supper
also you're the one in the middle
>>
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>>66522384
>animeposter
>>
>>66522204
You kept fishing
>>
>>66522394
>he's manlet
still slays more gash than you la
>>
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>looks like a painting of the last supper
>>
lads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VEmeXbF6Rk
>>
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>>66522406
oh my mistake

found you
>>
>>66522350
I always thought it was a normal holiday for most of the first world tbqh
>>
>>66522377
I thought the superior Anglo man did not indulge in pagan traditions?
>>
>>66522428
is that the joke? did i just state the blindingly obvious or something>
>>
>>66522436
Only autists dont like it
>>
>>66522434
LOOK AT ME

I AM A WOMAN NOW
>>
>>66522413
You're a bright one! Runt...
>>
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>>66522415
>>
>>66522434
i'm not black, i'm white
>>
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New global rule: once an IP has posted on /pol/, it's banned from posting on every other board on 4chan

Together we can beat the shitposters
>>
>>66522436
You, you seppo fucks with your telly shows and flashy Hollywood pictures have tainted our Great Southern Land with your archaic pagan traditions
>>
>>66522446
i dunno what that's supposed to mean but for as long as i remember we have had halloween here. remember making paper mache pumpkins and going trick or treating with al the kids in the cul de sac when i was proper young
>>
Boys

Bollocks hurt a bit and my urethra has a slight burning sensation, almost as if there's piss in there but not quite enough to come out

It can't be an std because I'd have to have sex for that to happen so I'm unsure
>>
>i'm white
Rorke
>>
>>66522478
don't believe you
>>
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>>
>>66522483
You can't stop /pol/ now, it's the biggest money maker on the site.
>>
>>66522416
but what did we keep?
>>
>>66522515
Fishing you twat
>>
>>66522490
might be a urinary tract infection la. Go to a doctor, drink a lot of cranberry juice x
>>
>>66522524
this is correct, had the same thing before
>>
>>66522502
i'm like the farthest thing from black, im pasty white because i barely go outdoors into sunlight
>>
could heem any one of you
>>
>>66522521
not what did we keep doing, what thing did we keep
>>
>>66522515
bait?
>>
>>66522555
Rorke.
>>
>>66522490
You just wanked didn't you
>>
>>66522563
we caught our own bait
>>
>>66522561
Fishing equipment
>>
>>66522586
hahaha ur a real master baiter then :PPP
>>
>>66522338
what's wrong with you?
>>
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Any shitsu posters here?

I wanna kick your ass!
>>
>>66522555
how many upvotes did you get
>>
been told I look like a slightly uglier James Dean
>>
Any rorkeposters here? Haha
>>
>>66522615
I like seeing all the little delusions if the brexiteers come crashing down one by one as the UK begins its slide into an irrelevant fourth rate power.
>>
>>66522646
probably meant James Deen
>>
What is the sex age of consent in this country again?

I have a 16 year old girl I knw who seems to be really onto me lately, and she's pretty decent looking.

I'm 23 btw
>>
POLEABOO HAS GOT A JOB

Bit of a hicup though.....I sent him me new CV, the one with the fake employment history and he wants proof of my last 5 years of work history
>>
don't
>>
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new okeef tape coming in about 4 hours lads
>>
>>66522671
nonce
>>
>>66522671
yes that's fine
>>
>>66522586
must knw the answr before bed
>>
the answer to this stupid riddle is lice but i don't get it
>>
>>66522556
Would knock you spark out you fucking chinless piece of chit

Meet me at Peterborough service station and I'll put you to fucking sleep you fat cunt
>>
>>66522671
Rasheed

@66522674
Janny get this ban evader asap
>>
>>66522674
hahahaha hope it all comes falling down around you like a house of cards you lying twat
>>
>>66522706
this 2bh
didn't wanna give him the satisfaction of my confusion
>>
>>66522639
Right here.

*swings fist*
>>
I am on a sinking ship and there's no way for me to get off.

Brexit has ruined me lads...

I'll just be an English toilet cleaner in a superior European country.
Treated like shit....like pond scum.

This is our life now lads. We'll be sending money home to our shitty, depressing homes in this "great" nation.

I never asked for this
>>
Rome actually was built in a day: July 19th or so I believe
>>
need to cum inside a woman
>>
>>66522708
you're putting me to sleep with your fucking deadout threats you total battycrease
>>
>>66522524
>>66522550
Thanks lads, will try that out

>>66522574
Got wanked off a couple of days ago, I'll have a shower and see how it goes
>>
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>>66522639
>>
tell us the riddle answer NOW
>>
>>66522671
I hope her dad destroys you. Nonce.
>>
what has a tongue but cannot speak
>>
business idea: come up with riddles that have no answer
>>
>>66522794
your mum when she's sucking my dick
>>
>>66522703
http://themythologypodcast.com/caught-answer-homers-riddle/
>>
>>66522794
Your mum
>>
>>66522794
women... think about it
>>
>>66522751
Just move to Australia lad.
>>
>>66522794
A dog, cat, mouse, birds, lizards....etc
>>
>>66522794
a rabbit
>>
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>>66522735
*stands behind punch proof glass''

heh, nice try kiddo
>>
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>people who take fucking blankets to lectures
>>
>nobbing a girl above the age of consent is noncey

t. jealous
>>
>>66522794
most animals
>>
>>66522794
a shoe you knob
>>
>>66522794
you dad when he's sucking my dick
>>
>>66522811
perhaps the worst riddle I've ever heard
>>
>>66522794
Yer ma when she's sucking me cock.
>>
What goes around the world but stays in one corner?
>>
>>66522819
To be a pom which is bullied by bogans?
>>
>>66522643
no idea, i never checked
>>
>>66522829
is this a thing?
are you sure this isn't just first year cunts being like "o lol i can be so casual here #unilyf"
>>
>>66522829
when someone does that first in my lectures i will follow suit
nothing can beat comfiness mate
>>
need heeming RIGHT NOW
>>
what moves but cannot BE moved?
>>
>>66522856
Your mum
>>
>>66522811
You absolute retard, you said "what did we keep"
>>
>>66522857
Everyone gets bullied by bogans.
>>
>>66522884
your mums fat arse
>>
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https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/790523240351498241
>>
>>66522884
time?
>>
Got my first mutual like on OKcupid
Gonna message her now, bit scared
>>
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>>66522811
> kevin boyle on October 24, 2016 at 12:04 pm
>this is fully shit
>>
https://youtu.be/izOdvBmTDh0
>>
>>66522906
Why the fuck didn't he use this for the debate?
>>
What has a saddle but cannot be ridden?
>>
>>66522895
>http://themythologypodcast.com/caught-answer-homers-riddle/

Literally the same answer you fucking retard.
>>
>>66522906
Now THIS will be the end of Hillary's campaign, for sure this time
>>
>>66522923
ROARING
>>
ankle-deep in (You)s ITT

hope this trend continues into the next thread
>>
what is in my pocket?
>>
>>66522788
I do Thai-Kwan-Jew boxing. He wouldn't stand a chance, nor will he do anything as I've just been told the age of consent is 16.
>>
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>>66522923
>>
>>66522856
darkness
>>
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>>66522923
>>
>>66522938
The riddle is "what was caught", not "what was kept" you utter invalid
How can one "keep lice"
>>
>>66522934
these are all new revelations. her birthday is this wednesday and apparently there is a lot of stuff coming out about her this week
>>
>>66522938
lad you fucked up and we all saw it
>>
What have I got in my pocket?
>>
She stopped messaging lads. I think she realised I'm a boring cunt when I'm sober.
>>
I stand but am not vertical
I sleep but do not rest
I have eyes but cannot see

What am I?
>>
what has knees but cannot bend?
>>
>>66522972
a ringses
>>
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>>66522980
>>66522994
>>
>>66522980
My sister when she's gobbling my bollocks
>>
fucking bored of this wet melt crying about a bird not texting back
>>
>>66522980
A mong
>>
>>66522966
The media will still bury it under Trump propaganda anyway so it might as well not exist at all.
>>
>>66522271
r8 rainham
>>
>>66522980
a willy
>>
I'm at LEAST two ranks higher in the social food chain than you runts

Meet me at Chessington World of Adventures if you've got something to say about it and I'll put you to fucking sleep
>>
*touches your thigh*
>>
if you're not at LEAST at a rustle group then you need to gas yourself
>>
Listening to massive attack
Quite good
>>
business idea: the next /brit/ thread is held on the comment section of the riddle website
>>
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>That negotiations are 'weighted in the favour of the UK' is at best delusional. Or just a lie. One or the other.

Really makes you think.
>>
>>66523013
i don't think they'll be able to ignore this
>>
I go but I do not go. When I go, I go quickly, but I am so slow that I do not go. If I go here, I will be there; and yet if I were there, I would not go at all. What am I?
>>
>>66523032
*reciprocates*
>>
Why do continentals hate us so much
>>
>>66523046
good taste
>>
Using me, battles are never fought alone. With me, bonds are never broken. Reveal my identity.
>>
>went to the freestyle ski event 2 years ago
>slammed a sick 360 flatrail
>failed to land a 3 for the rest of the session
>too embarrassed to go back
>>
LADS pls help me

gf is coming to visit me in a few weeks for a few days

got one day sorted, we'll visit london and do all the touristy stuff since she's never been to england before

what the fuck else can we do? i live in a boring english "city" with nothing going on. literally nothing of interest to show her, to do. this country really is shit for this kind of thing

pls help and give me ideas
>>
>>66522951
Dont you feel a bit money though? she must be so immature
>>
If you met yourself do you think you'd get along?
>>
>>66522964
The original riddle doesn't ask question. It is originally written down simply as:

>What we caught, we threw away; what we didn’t catch, we kept.

What you keep and what you throw away are identical because their fishing trip was unsuccessful, so they searched themselves for lice, what they caught they threw away and what they didn't catch, they kept. That's why I added the question, because it makes it simpler for /brit/. Are you dense?
>>
Consume me and you will choke, but within me is the key to life and growth. What am I?
>>
>>66523071
steve?
>>
>>66523100
nah i'd be intimidated by his dashing good looks
>>
>>66523095
where's she from
>>
>>66523109
a willy
>>
You catch lice, you don't keep them. They're a parasite, not a pet. You worded it horribly
>>
>>66523095
Where do you live?
>>
>>66523095
would help if you told us what city you fucking mong
>>
>>66523100
I doubt it, I'm a dick

I reckon if me and my dad were the same age, we wouldn't be friends
>>
ALAN?!?
>>
>>66523138
>you

It's fucking Homer's riddle you pleb.
>>
>>66523119
spain

when i visit her she's got all these amazing places to show me but there's nothing like that in england i'm literally fucked
>>
>>66523109
my dick
>>
>>66523095
Go visit places
>>
>>66523100
I think I'd think I was a dickhead honestly.

Especially when drunk
>>
I can be found on a mountain, yet you can hold me in your hand or walk over me. I will outlive you. Name me.
>>
>>66523052
why don't you just fuck off to germany you spineless cuck?
>>
>>66523153
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhyeyoC-TxU
>>
>>66523165
Snow? Ice?
>>
>>66523154
Yes and homer said "what was caught". You said "what was kept" like the illiterate mongrel you are and expected us to be able to guess
>>
>>66523155
que guay jaja

la lleva a la universidad de oxford
>>
File: Dan.jpg (14KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]
Dan.jpg
14KB, 480x360px
>>66523153
DAN!
>>
>>66523100
like a house on fire
>>
>>66523155
show her the wonders of steady employment
>>
>>66523145
>>66523148
Chelmsford in Essex

>>66523157
there are no places except london
>>
>>66523155
visit the local greggs
>>
I come for all who grow, crawl, and walk. I am the perfect hunter. In the end, I am the victor. What is my name?
>>
>>66523153
Jurassic Park 3 was great
>>
>>66522457
kek
>>
>>66523165
rock
>>
>>66523181
Homer didn't say anything you useless pleb. Homer was posed the riddle and as I said before, no question was asked of homer they simply stated

>What we caught, we threw away; what we didn’t catch, we kept.

and went away, leaving Homer apparently bewildered trying to figure out what they meant. Rather than write a fucking classics essay though I posed a simple question, and both what was caught and what was kept have identical answers.
>>
>make a post
>get (You)s
why is /brit/ so easy lads
>>
I erode rock, break bodies, and consume cities. Yet, I am necessary for survival. What am I?
>>
>>66523201
Dan
>>
>>66523168
No need. Scotland will have it's independence by the 2020s and will join the EU automatically.
>>
>>66523201
jimmy savile
>>
>>66523228
In what way is "lice" the answer to "what was kept"? You are a mong
>>
>>66523230
Water?
>>
I walk towards you. What is my name?
>>
>>66523218
good lad
>>
>>66523230
Memes
>>
>>66523251
You search yourself for lice. You catch some lice, you throw them away. You didn't catch all the lice though, you kept some on you. I know this is hard for you to understand, because you're a fucking moron and you believe the word kept implies an intention to keep something, but it doesn't.
>>
>>66523258
*stands in your way*

>>66523229
fuck off pleb
>>
>>66523258
Showed all the lads in the office this post and we had a right laugh
>>
>>66523254
ye
>>
>>66523201
death
>>
>>66523228
>and both what was caught and what was kept have identical answers.

read the riddle again and then read what you just wrote and have a deep think you utter, utter drongo
>>
Please fuck off with these stupid riddles
>>
>>66523279
Admit your wrong spastic
>>
File: hqdefault.jpg (28KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]
hqdefault.jpg
28KB, 480x360px
morrissey
>>
matched with a scottish bird and she's messaged me first
really doesn't seem like the type that would go for me
>>
>>66523290
ye
>>
i reckon this auscunt is a chink. clearly doesn't understand english properly.
>>
>>66523279
This is tragic. You fucked it up, stop trying to come off as intelligent
>>
>meat
>murder
pick both
>>
Your hand cannot contain me. Your eye cannot see me. I am fleeting when held, but you can catch me if you stand still. What am I?
>>
>>66523291
>>66523299
>>66523333
I can't imagine being this fucking retarded.
>>
>>66523312
>scottish

abort
>>
Can't find my cumsock
>>
File: 1462444934884.jpg (87KB, 677x960px) Image search: [Google]
1462444934884.jpg
87KB, 677x960px
>>66523330

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4C_6dJ1Dm8A
>>
File: 1437862322724.jpg (160KB, 1024x1024px) Image search: [Google]
1437862322724.jpg
160KB, 1024x1024px
>This is tragic. You fucked it up, stop trying to come off as intelligent
>>
new
>>66523345
>>66523345
>>66523345
>>
>>66523344
Your breath?
>>
>>66523347
No your brain's not quite big enough for that is it
>>
>>66523189
come meet me down in Southend lad

dunno mate, just go out in chelmo for the day, go shopping in Zagger
>>
>>66523351

*takes it out of my mouth and hands it to you*

sorry lad
>>
>>66523369
>human brain size correlates to human intelligence

t. Graduate of Disney University of Life
>>
>>66523100
im actually a nice lad but when im drunk I just become a cunt
so it would depend when he meets me
>>
File: wojack intelligence.png (12KB, 201x286px) Image search: [Google]
wojack intelligence.png
12KB, 201x286px
>>
File: united_kingdom.png (202KB, 785x520px) Image search: [Google]
united_kingdom.png
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Thread posts: 327
Thread images: 45


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