/brit/

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ArGh mong argghhh FOY arghh

Poo!

anyone have that webm of the guy who jumps in front of the camera and spreads his arse cheeks and farts

>measure self
>5'7

oh...

can I sue my mum for being a short stack?

>when he has a '''''''pornfu'''''''''

>>66104701
shant be opening that

>>66104701
not watching that haha!

>>66104711
squeaking

>>66104711
Slap your da for reproducing with a womanlet

Gross......

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the pornfu

(DO NOT STEAL)

trades will be considered

>>66104623
why are bugs so rude?

Apparently most pornstars also offer escort services for a high fee

Get saving you neeks

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>>66104673
>Watching the digital jew

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>>66104709
posted it here
not getting banned though
http://i.4cdn.org/gif/1476325716265.webm

>>66104701
is there a medical reason for such an exercise?

i have hiv

>>66104739
He's bigger than me.

He's like 6'4 or something

>>66104782
for you

Need a black giantess gf

>>66104801
fug

Michelle Maylene is my favorite

>just had a bath
>took ages to fill tub
>water felt alright until it hit my knackers (1st degree burn)
>couldn't fit in the tub, had legs out of the bath
>water sloshed over the side as I laid back slowly
>water sloshed over again as I re-adjusted myself about 5 minutes later
>5 minutes later I washed my hair, causing more water to slosh over
>at this point, more water is covering my bathroom floor than myself
>have to shovel water over my head to wash out shampoo because trying to put my head under water filled my nostrils with water (because I'm dumb
>lie back down
>rest of water sloshed out the tub leaving me covered in bubbles

Remind me why baths are a thing?

>>66104855
Are you 7 feet tall or do you have a small bath?

>>66104855
I've not had a bath for years

showers all the way

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love morning cartoons

Last time I went in the bath I took a bottle of voddy and some cigs and spent most of my time crying haha wahey

>>66104872
bit of both tbqh, if you consider 5'10 to be ''''''''''tall''''''''''

>>66104877
I know, I could barely last 10 minutes, fuck knows how people can last an hour in there

>>66104855
>>water felt alright until it hit my knackers (1st degree burn)


fucking hell lad

>>66104748
she's got such a fucking pig nose

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in bits after that last caller on Ferrari man.
>giraffes love to party, they are known as a "party animal"
>how can you be certain that they don't like boy–bands?
>would they complain if it was Meatloaf playing?
>–the zoo had 7 consecutive bands playing in front of the animal enclosures
She was not amused.

>>66104885
I hope I never become /brit/famous

>>66104782
>you can't slap people that are taller than you

lmao, the manlet mentality really is debilitating.

>>66104771
every time i watch that i just think well at least someone's having fun

>>66104885
Howling

>>66104914
what the fuck are you on about

why do people do the "reply or your mother will die" things?

>>66104855
>having a babby-tub
>not understanding water displacement

Wew

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Well let me tell you, acid is good for meat, and breaks down connective tissue, fats, and tenderizes it. Run the pH the other way and it turns into soap and you might as well bite into a urinal cake.

Venus is not for the timid, or people too afraid to shove a fat bird out the airlock and let the harsh laws of thermodynamics do the work. Venus is for men. Men who like to eat meat – cooked in fire and acid and seasoned with the Devil’s own mix of volatiles boiled up from the pits of hell.

If the thought of Thanksgiving Dinner on Venus gives you the heebie jeebies, you don’t even need to think about plunging into the roiling atmosphere with nothing but a cheap plastic heat shield and a thin balloon to save you from the crematorium that yawns down below. So man up, dangle the bird into the depths of the Stygian hell, feast as someone who walks between worlds and lives on an airship that rides the hell born winds 30 miles above a surface so hot it glows visibly red.

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what kind of hairstyle is this?

>>66104855

they're not for fat lads

>>66104951
Because they like getting attention/replies

shoot me a (you) if you agree lads

>>66104960
runter cut

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>>66104960
the paki special

>>66104968
I meant the people that reply to them
they don't really think their mother is in danger do they?

Ever noticed in American films or tv nobody is able to get tickets to events?
Like why is this still a subplot thing.
"WOW HOW DID YOU GET TICKETS TO THAT"
"OH I GOT AN EXTRA TICKET TO THIS BASEBALL GAME"

>>66104949
A caller complaining about a zoo that had a concert to raise money who went on LBC speaking to Nick Ferrari. http://www.lbc.co.uk/

>>66104885
Who is next to are Tim? Mark 'absurd maverick' Davis?

>>66104855
only british people could be so retarded so as to be unable to use a bathtub

>>66104960
a child cartoon character desu

>>66104951
edge. Anything that takes the extreme point appeals to teens; they don't understand empathy and have no grounding in the skill of brinkmanship as in taking a conversation higher and higher in levels of fun and banter through interaction. In short they chose the goal first not the journey because they don't know how to drive yet, punchlines without the joke.

>>66104960
el JUSTo

>>66104957
i'll tenderise you in a minute pal

>>66105008
start low
http://i.4cdn.org/gif/1476325716265.webm

>>66104980
I think all people have an inherent superstitious side. I remember hearing about a study where even atheists felt nervous when told to say a curse to God. Its just like a "what if" factor.

>10PM
>Mexican is posting about pirates and Trotsky
>Go to bed
>Wake up at 8AM
>Mexican is posting about pirates and Trotsky

Has he been at this all night?

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>>66104673

>>66104985
looks like Big Kev

>>66104984
calling into LBC should be grounds for immediate termination

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQe5ShxM2DI

my face looks weird from the side haha

fuck god 2bh

HE'S A BASKET CASE

HE'S A FUCK UP

https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1476425927873.webm
found a gem lads
promise it's not gore

>>66105028
really need an obese gf

>>66105025
He is still desperate for attention, i don't think he has anything else to do but get ignored on /brit.
And yes, yes he has.

>>66105043
looks weird from the front too tbf

>>66105078
looks good from behind

People used to imply the walking man (Kev) was Lisicki tbqh

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https://youtu.be/UeKg0I95bec

>>66105056

> gem

reddit

>>66105078

nah im actually pretty hot from the front x

>>66105064
He has medical autism

>>66105101
K E E P

I T

L O C A L

I'm queer. I'm gay. I'm homosexual. I'm a poof, I'm a poofter, I'm a ponce. I'm a bum-boy, batty-boy, backside-artist bugger. I'm bent. I am that arse bandit, I lift those shirts. I'm a faggot-assed, fudge-packin', shit-stabbin' uphill gardener. I dine at the downstairs restaurant, I dance at the other end of the ballroom. I'm Moses and the parting of the red cheeks. I fuck and I'm fucked. I suck and I'm sucked. I rim them and wank them, and every single man's had the fuckin' time of his life. And I am not a pervert.

https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1476430500344.webm

everyone else gets to do sex

when's it my turn

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*farts*

>>66105128
god she's a fucking waste of protein

reckon i might do a poo, thoughts?

>>66105078
LMAO, ROASTED

>>66105098
i was having a series of surgical procedures during the rise of the ginger fat man but i don't have the bollocks to ask anybody what that's all about T B H

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>>66105120
I'm a big guy.

>>66105147
let us see it, or else you're lying for attention

>>66104780

mazel tov

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>>66105147

hold it in

>>66104885
wait, I'm in confusion about the ones on second right and second left. how can 190 kg fat race be both?

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>>66105107

>>66104748
>Literally perfect in every way.

Got blacked

>Can never touch.

Even one drop of sewer water in champagne and it's sewer water

>>66105120
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover. I'm a child, I'm a mother. I'm a sinner, I'm a saint. I do not feel ashamed.

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>the new king of thailand

>>66105202
kev =/= lickdicki

>feel rested and full of energy all day
>realise before I only got 4 hours of sleep

who masterrace here

unironically feel better than when i sleep 8

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>>66104748

she reminds me of this jamacian londoner i used to fuck who had crushingly low self esteem. used to suck on my man tits and everything, was a bit off

>>66104885
dont see a tuba anywhere

>>66105276

you're gonna die m8

>>66104885
imagine a /brit/ RPG

Tim would be a tank. STR +25, INT -6

>>66104885
TimothyjamesbyrnehereflatspracklenhousedukesplacemarlowmyRentedflatforquitesometimenow

>>66105276
Wow, I've never heard that before from anyone!

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Oy, gevalt! the chutzpah of this goy to appropriate the culture of our shtetl... it's like anuddah shoah!

*grepses*

>was fat
>lose weight
>manboobs aren't going away

ah yes the so-called "gyno"

>>66105328
whatd you just fucking say to me??

say goodnight, kid

>>66104885
whos the ukip kpop one

Getting my daily dose of Molyneux and Sargon lads

>>66105276

i'm chronically fatigued, probably because i'm likely vitamin d deficient from being a shut-in neet.

>>66105368
Matthew Ludford
KPop enthusiast
UKIP local councillor candidate
Modern day enigma

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Last time I swipe right on a black girl lads

>>66105290
Ahh yes I sure am able to grasp how a blonde haired blue eyed white woman reminds you of a jamaican

Keep waking up and feeling sick so people keep telling me to go to the doctors but it's actually from the drink and cheeky spliffs i have every night

hour late for work today haha

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>>66104885
How come I'm a stoned fascist?

>>66105389
could be anaemia too m8, what's your iron intake like

>>66105028
i would pay thousands to lick her asshole

>>66105431
you have red eyes because you're a villainous demonic nonce

also turbororke

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>>66105394
She's just there to feed her ego and get compliments from betaa

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there's less women voting for hillary than they were blacks who voted for obama

>>66105448
this

cant believe i woke up again lads

wish id just die in my sleep already

>>66104912
I've always been attracted to girls with pig noses

My ex of 5 years has one
Was a total qt too legit 9/10 when we first met now she's a 5/10 maybe less because she got fat

>>66105448
I see..

>>66105438

not sure on most days

i've been trying to fix up my diet recently so i shouldn't be deficient in any vitamins or minerals except for vitamin d

>>66104885
would watch a /brit/ anime

want a gf with a willy

>>66105480
Wish my mum would die so that I can get all her stuff

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>>66105391
>got less votes than the green candidate

>>66105449
ignored her after she turned down my advance desu

>>66105231
Tbf it's probably impossible to find any relative newcomers to porn who don't go black right away

It literally pays 3 times what a regular shoot does and if you're some stupid 18 year old girl all you see is the dollars Mr. Goldstein dangles in front of your eyes

>>66105407
did you not see the picture right next to the text, are you blind in your left eye like gordon brown or something haha

>>66105542

>It literally pays 3 times what a regular shoot does

source?

>>66105412
what kind of soft-palmed wanker gets a hangover off a crossfade though

>>66105494
yeah vitamin D can be big on that. it's also how well you sleep, so youll be constantly fatigued if you sleep poorly i.e. snore

>>66105569

that's the most fedora post i've read in fucking ages

>>66105412

runt life.

>>66105546
They literally look nothing alike

>>66105569
my palms are pretty nice and soft to be honest

>>66105521
it's still funny as fuck that nearly 600 people voted for the Kpop autist to be their local councillor

>>66105482
did she put her snout in your trough

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>>66105589
???
think you're confused

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>tfw a massive Nationalist movement is currently brewing in Thailand


>tfw mourning ends in a few days and Thailad and all the other pathetic white runts who moved to the 3rd world because they couldn't get a proper girlfriend are going to be burned at the stake

you guys aren't giving me any (you)'s I'm out of here

>>66105615
>b-b-but im a nationalist too guys

hope he gets whats coming to him

Got a job interview lads, w-wish me luck!

>>66105639
g-good luck!

what's the best thing to buy from greggs?

>Australia has a ban on any adult film that features females with A-cups
>Aussies will never know the glory of DFC

>>66105639
*crosses fingers behind my back*

good luck lad!

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>>66105639

GL

>>66105576
How can Aussies be low in vitamin D when they're always in the sun

>>66105647
custard slice

>>66105101
whats the white mans march?

Missed Uni, quite rebellious today

>>66105647

sausage roll and a fanta

I've found god

>>66105675
being a NEET obviously

I get less sunshine than a Londoner haha

boynie sandahs

>>66105711

in a hopeless place?

>>66105262
bet those were her jeans as well lmao

>>66105542
it probably fucks their careers though
a blonde haired pale girl like her could've easily tried the whole pure thing but if you're blacked once nobody will watch her again apart from cucks
She used goods

>>66105721
How is that possible thought all Aussies were outgoing normie

Even when you're looking at your PC screen wouldn't there be blinding sun and heat how could you not be outside

nice fork banter from our deputy minister of defence frenchies are petrified

>>66105274
so who is who?

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>"There are a dizzying two trillion galaxies in the universe, up to 20 times more than previously thought, astronomers reported on Thursday. The surprising finding, based on 3D modeling of images collected over 20 years by the Hubble Space Telescope, was published in the Astronomical Journal."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPS9Op5dhCw CHOON

>>66105787
kev is on the right
people thought they were the same until someone found kevs forum posts and youtube channel
dont know how anyone knows what lickdicki looks like though

>>66105799

couldn't give less of a shite.

such a fucking waste of my tax money

>>66105675
some people funnily enough get deficient in summer because people will just avoid the sun because of the burn

>>66105761
You underestimate my power level lad

I also take vitamin D regularly, so I haven't noticed anything personally tbqh, the other aussie might be different

>>66105760
only incredibly insecure people think like this

>>66105781
what did he say

>>66105799
And we're the only one with intelligent life, very good

>>66105813
*bashes your runt brain into atomic dust*

>>66105760
Yeah she did fuxk herself up for life especially considering that most porn stars last no more than a couple years at best

She could've definitely gotten a rich white guy to marry her and she would've been set for life but apparently she's pretty fucked in the head
She ran away from home at 17 then became a stripper and then moved onto porn

>>66105819
not really
theres a reason you never hear from pornstars who get blacked

>>66105821
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/oct/13/poland-continues-multi-pronged-attack-on-french-we-taught-them-to-use-forks

flube,

>>66105842
you never hear from pornstars fullstop

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>>66105837

*violates the Non-Aggression Principle*

heh, you're in for it now punk.

>>66105721
get wi–fi and post while out in the sun.

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thoughts? I think it's quite accurate

Hmmmm.... do I go into the lab today, or do I pretend to be ill?

Decisions, decisions.

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The custodian.

>>66105864
no but you see them in new videos

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>girl asks me to film a video of myself wanking
>"I don't think I'll be able to do that"
>"yeah but why"
>"I really don't want to do something like that"
>"yeah I get that but why"

She can be a real bitch sometimes

>>66105938
what does this have to do with British culture?

>>66105938
What about for me? x

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>>66105542
reminded me of this desu

goodnight you autistic fucks

how big is your willy lads?

>>66105960
7.6 inches

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>>66105960
not big

>>66105960
twice as big as yours

>>66105290
>jamaican londoner

does not compute

>>66105960
6" but seems to have grown smaller over the years

Used to be a solid 7" when fully aroused

I will declare war with Russia

>>66106005
t. Hillary Rodham Clinton

I will declare war with Drugs

>>66105988
wish I had a 13 inch pene desu

I have declared war with my ballsack

Why the fuck is everything just apprenticeships these days?

>>66106062
because uni is a rip off and shite

>>66106062
cause they can get away with paying you £1.50 an hour and then just fire you at the end of it and hire a new apprentice

>>66106062
If you don't go to uni you get an apprenticeship

That's how it's going to end up, making naive 16 year olds work 40 hours a week for £500 a month.

>>66105938
Yeah but why?

> wake up
> still alive

>"""Director's""" Commentary
>Executive producers
>Screen writers
>literal nobodies
why even bother

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>>66105960
Barely reaches 6 inches

>bar work
>apprenticeships
>kitchen shit
>supermarkets
>warehousing (most of which are apprenticeships)
>sales
>call centres

such an excellent choice of fields for me to work in

might just kill myself

Who /sitdownpiss/ master race here?

who else /xenoverse2beta/?

>>66106209
That's average size lad

You won't have any trouble getting girls off

Most girls will never see an 8x6 in their lifetime

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>>66105879
>number 2 & 3

>>66106211
work for a year, save up some cash and go to uni to get a decent qualification.

>>66106220
sit down piss
stand up poo here

>>66105993
you've never been to london then

has there ever been a more tragic individual than poleaboo

>>66106273
I'm a drop out

not going back to that shit again

>>66106306
your loss

>>66106201
>not exclusively watching the commentary for Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

>google homepage
>Inspirational black women who shaped British history
>this woman gets a statue over florence nightingale

hmm yes

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>>66105879

>Blair

getting my daily dose of sarneux and molygon lads

>>66106333

i need to find a new search engine but every single other one is shite

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>buy PSVR
>doesn't fit on my giant head
moooooooooooooooooo

>>66106346
dlaiy dsoe

Fuck the JFs, lads

>>66106337
>>66106337
>>66106337
>>66106337
>>66106337

just found out my nan died, literally no fucks given

what have i become?

>>66106379
a terrible grandchild

>>66106370

*did

>>66106379
the great barrier reef died too

you fucking aussie cunts killed it

>>66106333
florence nightingale was fucking nuts and didn't actually help wounded soldiers. she did invent the pie chart though so theres that

>>66106407
good banter

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>>66106333
There's some black and white gimmick going on here.

Like websites and all the TV channels are black and white.

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Big night huh

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Why is this partially in czech?

FUCKING. COLD. LADS.

>>66106413
pretty sure that's bullshit, the second part

>>66106407
actually it's mostly british tourists who killed it

>>66106407
darn shame that tbhimo look pretty in the Attenborough videos

>>66106445
polish

>>66106356
bing isn't as bad

>>66106453
but technically you are british tourists too

>>66106470
na that's definitely czech

this thread fuckijng sucks

Not my type

>>66106477
you really think I'm gonna fucking degrade myself by using Bing?

Bing of all websites

hate it

redpill me on hemp

>>66106451
it's true lad it used to be called a pietingale chart but then they shortened it

>>66106510
what's wrong with bing?

>>66106499
i agree

way too many aussies

>>66104673
help lads, there was a clown on my street before, I don't know where the fucker went

>>66106485
my parents are Greek

>>66106445
Why do you think?
(((cheap foreign workers)))

>>66106539
you must be gutted

>>66106533
you spergs would be lost without us, the thread itself would collapse into a blackhole of autism and negative emotion consuming all else

>>66106510
duckduckgo is alri, mostly if you're trying to find a movie or series that has been raped with DMCA take downs on google.

>>66106532
it's for spastics. plus the way they tried to make bing a verb by paying american tv shows to say bing instead of google makes me cringe desu

WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH BING LADS

>>66106537
really hahaha

bash the nerd

http://www.wordsthatfollow.com/play/game.php?gid=442

Roo Roo join the hunt Roo Roo kill the runt

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Rate the Halloween costume

>>66106566
everything microsoft touches turns to shit

>>66106570
its FUCKING DARK and i'm home alone

>just gonna bing it

hahahaha NERD

>>66106566
>Urm.. let me Bing that for you!

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>she has bing as her homepage

Parents' fury after 50 pupils were left stranded on a coach when Muslim driver stopped on a main road and knelt down to pray

>>66106592
Sick of the media hyping up this clown gimmick

Haven't even seen one

Bet everyones gonna look back at this like 'OMG remember those clowns oh my dayzzz they were so scary blud xD'
Fuck off

Yup, called in a sicky

Time to waste the entire day eating bacon sandwiches and watching YouTube

Ahhh what a life

>>66106628
honestly think all the pictures have been set up

i.e. someone gets their mate to take a long shot of them with a shit camera phone wearing a clown outfit and then posts it on social media and gets unlimited attention

basically the normie version of (You)s

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We got three now lads it's OFF THE CHAIN BLOODY HELL

three more and this's gonna be a party

http://www.wordsthatfollow.com/play/game.php?gid=442

>>66106657
*uploads it to unilad*
*gets 200 quid*

getting bored of watching porn lads

Wish I was happy

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okay lads who's been spreading the HIV again

Brit?
More like heteroshit.

>>66106760
My friend has an Estonian gf, should I warn him?

>>66106760
So you're concerned with 9000 people out of 60 million having HIV?

>>66106760
all me :^)

>>66106790
It's almost impossible to contract HIV if you're a man fucking a pozz woman
If I remember the chance is like 1 in 40000

HIV is spread mostly through gay sex and IV drug use but it's easy for a woman to get pozzed by a man

>>66106795
Yeah la it makes me avoid taking willies which I would have otherwise taken.

>>66106760
all me

>>66106795
That's new infections in a year per million or just plain inaccurate.

>>66106825
HIV is a meme

So lads, I've got an Institute dinner to go to tonight, but I've never been to anything like that before. Any ideas on what you're supposed to do Other than networking, obviously.

Dunno what the food's going to be like either, but it's free at least.

>Milo bathing in pig blood with pictures of terrorist victims on the wall

ahh yes this got me thinking

Gave the gf my keys and she will make us dinner tonight and spend the weekend at my place lads.

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this honestly

>>66106824
Wonder what the odds are on genital herpes. I got completely fucking wasted one night in the philippines and ended up putting my dick into a hooker, but since I was so drunk I didn't use a condom. I say put my dick in because I didn't even cum or anything I was so drunk.

Anyway I got the clap and herpes from it. One drunken five minute mistake four years ago and that's me for life.

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lad

>>66106931
islamophobia isn't a word

>>66106939
*cuts off prematurely*

>>66106943
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/islamophobia

ummmmmm try again sweetie ;)

Would NOT want a working wife.

Would want one committed to family life, taking care of our children and the household tbqh.

Where should I look for women like that?

>>66106968
Uhhh it's 2016 not 1916 mate...

>>66106968
Church

>>66106968
Doubt you could support a whole family with only one income

>smoke about 10-20 Marlboro Reds a day
>Drink most nights
>Smoke a joint or two every night
>Underweight, don't really eat much

Should I be concerned when I get chest / heart pains lads?

>>66106931
do people really believe things like this?

>>66106968
quite sexist to be entirely honest

>>66106968
in the 1950's maybe

>>66106936
That sucks

Most people are immune to herpes and as a result don't even know they have it

>>66106991
I make 47k and own my house (inherited from nan), think I could make it at some point tbqh.

>>66107029
Yeah. I think it's contributed to my depression. Much as I want to have a relationship with someone I'm terrified because I'd have to admit that I have it and I know that'll make me alone for life.

*locks a shark into a shark cage with you*

>>66106999
Start taking aspirin and go to the doctor and ask for an EKG

Most of the time chest pain is a symptom of anxiety which you may likely have since regular heavy drinking will fuck your GABA production

>>66107039
FOB

doing a lunch

>>66107068
>>66107068
>>66107068
>>66107068
>>66107068

>>66107039
I make 32k and struggle to pay rent and bills

>>66107046
Over here you can be brought up on criminal charges if you have sex with someone and don't disclose that you have an STD

Ofc this is dependent on them being able to prove knowledge so if you went to an anonymous free clinic you'd be good but if you went to your go for the test you'd be fucked

>>66106220
AHAHA SMALL WILLY LAD

>>66106495
It's Zlovak