/brit/

Might wank to straight porn tonight

In despair

things only get worse and worse

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*juts out chin, smirking and shaking head from side to side*
*drops cue cards on the floor forcefully*
*brushes blazer back and slowly approaches the stage*

WHY DON'T YOU STOP YOU STOP SMOKING DOPE

MAN UP
GROW A PAIR

GET OFF YOUR BACKSIDE

GET A JOB

AND START BEING A DAD TO YOUR 3 YEAR OLD SON

*thunderous applause from the audience*
*mother of the child bounces up in her seat whilst smacking her hands together*

>>66086611
it makes you a nonce because you are attracted to 2 year olds

>>66086650
what's the difference between finding children cute and finding women sexy. never been able to parse it

>>66086674
its normal to find children cute
but not the sexual kind of "cute"
not so that you want to stick your dick in them

>>66086674
Cute children shouldn't make your dick hard. Sexy women should.

>>66086122
not sure about everything

what I do know is she has a disorder called CCHS (Congenital Central Hypoventilation Syndrome).

>>66086674
megaultraturbononce

I'm attracted to nonces

what does that make me?

>>66086735
dont want that. just want to befriend a 2 year old and marry her when I'm 43

>>66086674
jesus christ

>>66086674
One is about nurturing and the other is about procreation. If you can't tell the difference then you're probably a turbo-nonce m8.

>>66086647
>MAN UP
>GROW A PAIR
Why don't any of the women in the audience become outraged at this blatant sexism, I thought they hated that?

>>66086765
I would put my penis in her vagina

If you know what i mean

>>66086757
>CCHS is a rare condition affecting around 1000 people worldwide.
impressive

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22 year old Hillary Clinton

>>66086843
>If you know what i mean
I don't, actually

>>66086831
someone slap a 'dora on this chap

Just had a crumpet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xw1vvCGRz4

>>66086765
Looks like Big Kev is going to town on Tim's bp

bfs nickname for me is crumpet

>>66086859
defo would

>>66086765
she looks like someone but I cant put my finger on it

>>66086859
she was fit 2bqh

dylan got his nobel for being an entry level beat poet

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Looks kind of like Miley Cyrus here

>>66086853
whoa, it's that rare?
shit man i didn't even know

bet hillary was a right slag when she was younger

just had consensual sex with my wife in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation

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>dylan got his nobel for being an entry level beat poet

>>66086922
bob dylan has a plethora of original music

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would you lick the sweat off her sole?

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She doesn't look emotionally and mentally defeated here. I like it

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me on the left

>>66086874
Someone chain this roastie back to her sink

bob dylan went to shit after highway 61

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*doing an intellectual conversation*

>>66087035
ahh yes the classic virgin mentality

>>66086859
Fat

(of course, she's a yank)

they call me devil boy they call me devil boy

>>66086964
big fan of that video

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Would you ask her for a dance at the sophmore dance? Or whatever shit yanks did in College during the 60's.

>>>/tv/75281651
>>>/tv/75281651
>>>/tv/75281651
Get in here lads

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Imagine if the Scots voted to stay in the UK again

Strong aurora tonight lads

if it's clear where you are and you're up north, have a peek

>>66086986
hm

>>66087127
no
looks like a right mong
she has such a wide face

weird desu

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>>66087059
Ah yes the classic internet whiteknight

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Love her trousers.

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*saunters into the thread*

alri lads, wahey

>>66087132
>people still watch this

>>66087127
no i'd do what i really did with my oneitis and ignore her for 20 years and then never see her again

had orange it was dry i hated it and spat most of it out

also have done dishes and got washing out of the dryer

im now going to drink alcohol

>>66087132
when is alan sugar gonna run for prime minister?

>>66087194
look
all gone

Putting Scottish national pride before class and marginalised groups is nothing short of sickening really

>>66087132
>The Apprentice
runtlife

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>>66087165
I hate white knights

t. classic internet infamous black knight

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>>66087136
Imagine if they voted to leave, had to join the Euro then beg Germoney for a bailout

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>>66086859
Hillary is love. Hillary is life.

the apprentice is capitalist propaganda

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>>66087127
Yeah.... only to get cucked by big dick Bill.

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saw this in tesco earlier

can you lads believe philly is half price

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>>66087001
No, but i'd have a cheeky sniff of her flower

>>66087332
where's the stem ?

>>66087164
are you a poofter or something

http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1476148036718.webm

When I was young, I had a dream
And though the dream was very small,
It wouldn`t leave me.

To be a beggar for a fee
To play the poet or the fool
And now you see me.

And now the miracle is mine
And fault and the war begun
And now there`s nothing left to hide,
Still I………

And now I`ve nothing left but time,
Still I reach out through this empty life.

oh...hey
*clears voice*
so tired....so tired...
grann you doing?
i had, nice dinner....nice, look
all gone, all gone

so
tomorrow i write to writeto dublin
dublin of all places
i hate it, hate driving on the m50
HAAATE it
and that new muhaeee.....motorway on the way up to dublin
god its so long, HAAATE it
well, tis alright like but
tis nuthin to look at
but, on the other hand, got to go to the airport
don't mind that

>trousers and not pants

Why

>>66087375
it's like a nuremberg rally for retards

>>66087405
foy

>>66087353
Tucked between her meat curtains to hold the flower up

had chicken and pasta bake for dinner
mmmmm

>mums got a new bf
>met him today
>he's Australian
What kind of sick joke is this?

>>66087405
Because that's what they're called. That's like saying we should call socks shoes

>>66087375
kek

>>66087375
staaaaaaaaaaaaged

>>66087448
>if its not british it must be american

Incredible logic

is Midnight Express any good

>>66087473
it's saveloy you fucking dunce

>>66087464
why did you have chicken separate to the pasta bake?

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taking the old dog for a walk lads

>>66087472
Good hope he beats you every time you refer to pants as trousers you slimy pommy runt

It's in 'Every grain of sand' where Dylan is revealed as an entry level lyricist for the masses who conforms to none of the hallmarks of great poetry principal among which is economy of language.

>>66087539
the fuck is THAT?!

>>66087566
Bob Dylan is cool. My dad listened to him so now I listen to him

>>66087528
I didn't
I didn't even suggest that
fuck off devon

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>>66087497
fuck off yank

>>66087587
dog mate

>>66087539
That dog has the same disease masie has

>>66087546
You wear pants under your trousers you retarded convict

>>66087599
>chicken
>and pasta bake

Yes you did. If you had them together you'd have said chicken pasta back, you know, the name of the meal

>>66087539
haha squash doggo

http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1476331277471.webm

>>66087599

you should have said chicken pasta bake then.

>>66087597
the main reason he doesn't deserve it is I can understand his lyrics. whereas I don't have a fucking clue what ts eliot was on about


cross posting these comments on /lit/ btw join me there!!

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>>66087325
>one pound for a battle of milk

unbelievable!

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Why is it that every time I discover what I assume to be a spanish or italian qt, she turns out to be a brit?

Are they genetic remnants from the roman conquest?

>>66087635
don't tell me what I would say you cunt

>>66087681
probably but oh well hahaha

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl-j6rff_b8

>>66087723
apologist for telling me to fuck off

>>66087697
what unit of measurement is that lad?

>>66087751
fuck off

>>66087697
bet you could have a battle with those milkers

>>66087603
>chiefly

ahh yes. Poms are just as bad if not worse than yanks at dictating proper usage of english vocabulary. Yanks are just ignorant and dumb while you lot have this arrogance to you and think you know it all.

Reminder that australia's HDI is the highest in the anglosphere.

>>66087697
>>66087325
I love this fat tit slut. I usually wouldn't imagine myself as the kind of guy to pay for a hooker, but she tickles my fancy.

>>66087703
>every time

Just admit you like Brit girls anon. Nobody will think less of you here

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I'm assuming you're the best kind of smart.
- Eh, 50-50.
Fifty plus fifty is a hundred! And that's what we're gonna do! A hundred shots of beer! I've got ten more to go! *vomits*

Doing MANY farts this evening

best books about the french revolution?

Don't mind Zac anymore

>>66087776
smeg me arse thats rude!

>>66087539
chernobyl

zac is the new character by the poleaboo writer yes?

>>66087703
No

West Englanders, Welsh and Scottish are naturally brown

>>66087789
didn't read a word of this

>>66087872
Who?

I am so unwell mentally that it's physically broken me and I find it difficult to communicate how I feel to anybody

>>66087809
romanian?

>>66087539
hehehehehehehehe

he looks so happy.

Hope he has a nice life :)

Fucking ridiculous that GP surgeries aren't open on weekends

What do you want me to do if I'm ill? Wait until Monday when I've got work? Fuck off, or shall I go and waste the hospital's time then?

Lazy ARROGANT GPs - don't reckon there's an easier job in the world desu, it's not like you've got to do open heart surgery. Just listen to people's breathing, tell them if they've got flu or not or if you don't know refer them to a specialist

Fucking bunch of cunts

>>66087895
fascinating

*walks away and talks to someone else*

>>66087928
>the glorious NHS
>b-b-but it's the best in the world, we swear!

hao ling

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>>66087833
thank :3

>>66087840
good

>>66087872
YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW

think i have a pencil dick

my gf doesn't mind and i seem to be able to give her orgasms but she does have a sensitive fanny

might need a second opinion from another girl to make sure my dick isn't pathetic

>>66087928
If it was serious, you'd go to the A&E

Clearly you can wait till monday you pansy fuck

>>66087609
Kek

i'm finna go get some scran

>>66087910
English?
But yes. :(

>>66087993

you really dont have to put your name at the end of your posts mate

not entirely sure about this zac gimmick

Had some very disappointing chips from the chippy earlier lads, like cardboard

*tuts and shakes head from side to side*
*mutters under breath*
This country's gone to the dogs

>>66088059

>chippy

its chipper you fucking moron

how come tim isn't posting videos from his new flat

do you think he hasn't got internet installed yet?

finna call the popo

>>66088049
I'm not a gimmick!
I AM A MAN

>>66088038
you proud of that one, runty?

>>66088038
wahey

>>66088100
BRIEFCASE WANKER

How do i get a gf?

I don't really understand the process, can someone give me a step by step guide?

>>66088037
just checking that you're the cancerous faggot that shits up all the /brit/ threads

hope some chav batters you, you gypsy puff

http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1475753946323.webm

>>66088149
>faggot
fuck off yank

>>66088138
step 1. just b urself ;)

there you go

would literally smack the specs off this zac cunt if he even breathed in my direction

>>66088137
don't get this
have never owned a briefcase

>>66088019
I was in a car accident and hurt my wrist, thought it was just bruised but the pain is there a month later
If I want to get referred to a specialist and not waste both mine and the hospital's time I have to see a GP which means I have to take time off of work rather than just going at the weekend

Imagine if hospitals took the weekend off
Fucking disgrace

>fish & chips

how does it feel living in 1960

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>>66088077

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Ah yes, Aussies walking 'round when they've never even KISSED Josh Thomas.

peter hitchens probably finds over 80% of you lot immoral

>>66088138
unironically >>66088178 is it

>>66088149
>just checking that you're the cancerous faggot that shits up all the /brit/ threads

all me

>>66088138
step 1: have your life in order
step 2: just be yourself (while remaining within the rigid confines of social acceptability)

also you have to be attractive

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>get invited to a party
>go there
>see this

what do you do?

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How's uni going then lads?

>>66088077
Seen polio victims stronger than this gimmick

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my arranged marriage wife's little brother just sent me this

>>66088255
is he meant to be a girl in this pic?

>>66088189
hmmmmm

poo poo poooooo

willies willy bum

v hu8rghg8ubh u b

>>66088255
he looks mentally ill

>>66088176
link to video?

>>66088149
Wow, rude.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hate_speech_laws_in_the_United_Kingdom

This apprentice thread is truly /comfy/ lads, hope you're all there desu

@66088255
just letting you know I hid this post and will not be giving it any satisfaction

https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1476389729874.webm

10 rugby players? uh oh

>>66088250
>tfw dossed my way through my school + uni career and still came out with a 1st and my dissertation published in an academic journal

Feels good being smart lads

>>66086552
>Tfw no snow on the Mediterranean

What's the damn point of winter

>>66088250
Its alri
smoking a lot of weed to escape the disappointment of life

How about you lad?

very hungry but the normies are in the kitchen...

>>66088255
That is the worst chop I have ever seen in my life

Somehow he looked better when he was fatter

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>>66087798
Well at first it was that claire abbot chick. I could have sworn she was a bunda bandit from some south american shithole. Emma watson also look like a spanish import.

>>66088304
your posts sound mentally ill

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'ternets taking the piss

ahh yes, the so called tinternet

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>walk into the louvre museum
>see this

what do?

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>>66088408

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>>66088250
>parents called earlier
>"going out with all your friends tomorrow then?"

>>66088406
take pic and post on /brit/ ask wat do

>>66088408
who sent this one?

>>66088250
>Going through a snapchat story of someone I went to school with
>Load of his mates sitting in someones flat
>One girl sitting down shouts 'SPARTANS, WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION'
>They all stand up and shout 'OW! OW! OW!'

Ah yes 'social life' of 'uni'

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alri

>>66088319
babestation bantz

>>66088532
sounds like some great bantah 2bh

>>66088547
genuinely looks like my brother

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>I would be earning literally 3x as much as I am now and living like a king if I was American

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>>66088406
Tell her to go visit glorious Napoléon instead of that overrated tiny painting

>>66088485
#PodestaEmails6

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>>66088473
Aren't you, anon?

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>>66088319
great banter, it really is

Just got back from t' gym

>>66088576
american hegemony is exactly why we should have made the EU work. literally the only continent in any position to compete with them.

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112kbps how droll

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qey4w6sXVTY

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>>66088473
>"haha i hope you're not partying too hard anon"

>>66088583
>taking photographs in an art gallery
Chang

wouldn't be surprised if the yanks were covertly encouraging migrants to europe and supporting brexit. divide and rule

>>66088662
Lel, its almost the same in australia re: wages. The UK just sux

why do i get really horny when i need to do work

some of my best wanks have come when i should be working

>>66088662
Guarantee we wouldn't have voted to leave the EU if Germany didn't let in 1 million refugees in a single year 2bh

london financial services will go to new york, not frankfurt or paris.

*open peers list*
>90% utorrent

ah yes

>>66088662
Yes Sadiq, I'm sure we could have made the EU work.

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>>66088718
不

>>66088776
germany has been under yanks thumb since 1950s

>>66088739
that's not for the same reason. you just have small population on a continent size country

>>66088783
They'll go to Edinburgh once Scotland goes independent

>>66088547
>the legend who posts amongst us

>>66088783
You're an idiot play a record

>tfw too autistic for the normies
>tfw too normie for the autists
What kind of shit is this? 1 month into Uni and ZERO friends

Just want a friend I can go to the pub with, but also discuss anime with. A friend who doesn't dress like a 15 year old, but also plays inhuman amounts of vidya. A friend who is very introverted, but has decent social skills.

I wish I was at home. I miss the lads.

>just had a conversation where both me and the girl had coffee breath

Kek

>>66088783
Most of the businesses already have American offices, this is about choosing where to put their European office

>>66088893
time to take up drinking

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Found a real life REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sy95hbGiBmI

>>66088893
business idea: multiple friends

>>66088877
>>66088792

>believing obama's appeals for stability
yanks played us you dumb cucks

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Got my l33t haxor laptop up and running so I can shitpost with incredible speed

>>66088893
This quite literally gets posted about 15 times every year, around the same time

>>66088893
It's called being a failed normie lad

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>>66088938
holy fucking kek what is this

howling and screeching at this autist

https://twitter.com/eucopresident/status/786596115307081728

JUST

>>66088893
>too normie for autists
>watches anime
>inhuman amounts of vidya
ummm no sorry sweetie you're abnormie scum x

>>66088919
No it's about where to put their global headquarters.

Been made to train new people at the IT call centre I work for.

Bunch of fucking runts, just like me and everyone else.

This place hires dozens of people on a 2-3 week basis, essentially throwing shit at the wall and seeing if anything sticks.

The foundation of people at my work are pubbos, lads with tats on their neck and hands, clubbing lads, bints, nut cases, nerds, and uni leavers looking for their first full time job.

Wankers. All of us. That includes me. I swear very often in the proximity of the main boss lady and I'll also loudly say I have no clue what to do if someone asks me for help.

>>66088893
I'm the same way, I'm just a normal dude who likes video games and drinking. Hard to find people like that who aren't fucking autists.

Hard to find chill people who also seriously like video games/movies TV.

>>66088945
You won't believe me but I was literally in a meeting with reps from Wells Fargo, Goldman Sachs, HSBC and Lloyds among others and the general feel was that shrinkage would have to occur in London were we to leave the single market because they need passporting rights - therefore they plan to expand in a eurozone country. My guess is either Frankfurt or Ireland, depends which one emulates London's business friendly laws and infrastructure first

>>66088938
this is what not being bullied in school does to these sorts of kids.

>>66089075
Why does everyone on /brit/ work in a call centre?

Reminder that a devalued pound is good long time to rebalance the economy away from an over reliance on financial services and importing, our current account deficit just isn't sustainable long term

It will push us towards a healthier economy with stronger exporting and manufacturing in the long term

But in the short term it will mean higher prices and so a reduction in real wages for millions of people

>>66089136
Easy job to get.

>>66088938
Jesus fucking christ I would love to smack the living shit out of him

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERR

>>66089136
i've never worked in one

it sounds weirdly comfy desu

especially as there's no expectations

the boss obviously knows that the only reason people work there is either because they're fucking losers or because they're students/young guys working purely for beer money

>>66089146
Exporting & manufacturing is for developing economies.

I know you have a hard on for the empire but come on

>>66089120
I have no doubt that they will need to have an european office to operate there effectively but the headquarters will shift to ny.

>>66089136
The biggest autist can walk in to my particular place of work and as long as hes wearing a suit he will get the job.

>>66089136
easy
very few responsibilities
little human contact necessary
perfect runt storage

>>66089146
Ah yes very smart, reduce the only profitable part of the country mmm yessssss very very good

I'm great at running but I want to get better at weightlifting so let me just smash my kneecaps in

>match with 9/10 Aussie girl on tinder
>just shagged her rotten and came all over her back
>all the Aussies are asleep now so I have to wait to share my story

F U C K

>>66089146
Ah yes the devalued pound can help with that unemployment problem we don't have

who #Regrexit here?

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>the single market

>>66089235
The HQ will shift to wherever's got the most competitive tax rate

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>>match with 9/10 Aussie girl on tinder
>>just shagged her rotten and came all over her back
>>all the Aussies are asleep now so I have to wait to share my story
>F U C K

>>66088938
MARK SHADDUP

Fucking GRIM
https://twitter.com/ThatHeavyKid/status/780158956517920768

>>66089217
It was weirdly comfy at one point. Eventually the novelty wears off and you don't want to be a runt anymore.

>>66088938
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXSG09xjSNA

>>66089272
Post her photo then big man

>>66089221
Advanced manufacturing is for developed countries, a balance of exports and imports is good for a developed economy

Don't even know what its got to do with >muh empire

>>66089255
Financial sector is around 20% of the economy, far from the only profitable thing and cost a disgusting amount in bailouts only a few years ago

Shit analogy that barely makes sense you mong

>>66089276
Irrelevant to the discussion, you're the only one who mentioned unemployment

Boycotting Unilever lads

>>66089313
that doesn't matter. talking about infrastructure and jobs associated

>>66088893
Do Britlads not make friends with people in their area of study?

Like you're studying a certain subject because you love it and most of the time have more or less the same sort of hobbies and interests

>>66089146
>stronger exporting and manufacturing
sweatshops and the like?

>>66089419
More like Japan and Germany

>>66089375
There was literally no need for the pound devaluation. We didn't have an unemployment and we didn't have a growth problem. All we've done is fucked our purchasing power for no reason.

>>66089381

literally uk kraft foods

>>66089460
Scum for buying Cadbury desu

>>66089446
>tfw these was a time not so long ago when British manufacturing was strong, British cars were quality, and British goods were everywhere.

>>66089419
no, just everything we already make is cheaper for foreign buyers

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>>66089510
>British cars were quality

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>>66089372
Alri lid

>>66089456
It's about reducing current account deficit

*sneezes loudly*

>>66089414
Im doing computer science, mate
Everyone's fucking autistic. I mean in the literal sense too. I've tried talking to them, but they can't talk about anything other than memes and counterstrike for more than 5 minutes.

Then the other half of the class is normie as fuck and don't want anything to do with me.

Jaguar Land Rover lads

Literally still laughing at you lads for voting Brexit. Gosh HOW much more dumber can people get! Kek

>>66089561
Not bad

>>66089580
A current account deficit we had no reason to reduce.

>>66089344
>That tiny willy

Makes me look like Shane Diesel fucking hell.

>>66089633
t. Obumma

hhahahahaha

>>66089456
banker anon tell me your wisdom

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I unironically like Russell Brand lads and there's nothing you can do about it

>>66089697
This

>>66089697
PIRATAS

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>>66089641

*looks suspiciously at Russia*

>>66089756
russia: alri lad haha wahey

>>66089716
i think he's proper funny

>>66089561
what did she smell like?

>>66089697
post mexican toot

>>66089641
Except the fact that our current account deficit isn't sustainable long term, anything over 5% is bad

>>66089639
Cheers

>>66089716
I quite enjoyed his trews series desu

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>banks crash the world economy
>the public bails them out
>bankers get pay increases and bigger bonuses
>the public get austerity and cuts to services
>why aren't you blindly supportive of the banking sector goy?

Anybody want to play RO2?

>>66089612
Have you tried applying for a job at your student IT service? Those are usually filled CS kids of both spectrums but at least you're forced to talk to each other there

>>66089769
*sanctions you*

losers

>>66089836
I will in 3 hours when I get back from fishing

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>Wall builders are laughing at us

>>66089875
waiting for level 40 so you can go to karamja? me too...

>>66089822
we also bailed out the auto-mobile sector. Why aren't you mad at them?

fish lvls?

>>66089913
>auto-mobile

>4800 Airbus A32xneo orders
>total of around $500 billion

wew

>>66089869
hahaha
post toot

i apologise on behalf of our country

t. lilly ulum

>>66089792
Her perfume which was some fruity Victoria secret stuff with a slight bit of body odour

Absolute best combo IMO

professions of /brit/

poleaboo - unemployed
dane anon - student in urban planning
city of london banker anon - like graduate placement
thailad - IT

anymore?

i am not from france

>>66089994
matty kpop lad - Call center manager

>>66089999
post mexican toot then

>>66089994
Smeg me arse anon - EE

d-does anyone want to raid with me on destiny?
warlock, 346

>>66089994
lobbyist here

>>66089994
Me - Warehouse (g)runt

>>66089994
Cat yank

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>>66089999

>>66090068
a cat isn't a job m8

>>66089994
BAE mechanical engineer

>>66090043
haha i mean 347

>>66089994
Lisicki and Cornwall- Arrogant Students

>>66089994
Football Yank - Sky Sports Football Pundit and Football Manager 2013 Wizard

>>66089994
The Sheikh - terrorist (formerly)

>>66090084
yesh
i didn't read that post properly

>>66089994
me - landlord

>>66089994
me
/brit/ manager and /brit/s cunning linguist

>>66089994
guy who makes 42k/year and doesn't give a fuck about your degree - PHP developer

>>66089994
Craven - milkman

Just had a posh wank with the condom I've had in my wallet for a year